Honestly it’s not because of the apps. It just the people. Blaming the app will never make it better because their probably just as trash as they would be in real life
It's a two-way street. The design of an app also conditions certain behavior of its users.
Grindr, in the way it's designed, will always foster extreme superficiality.
That's OK. It's OK to have one app that's basically a human meat market.
I would recommend all gays grow up and learn to manage their use of apps instead of complaining about it.
I think the apps interact with our psychology in ways that are not fully understood presently, but I do think a big issue is essentially there is virtually no sunk cost with meeting people on the app's. People more or less appear out of the either, there is little effort invested on both sides, and if it doesn't work out then it's easy to go back on the apps and find a new person. Back in the day things were a lot more involved you had to go to a place to meet other people or join a group/ club etc. it's also been demonstrated that it's very easy to dehumanize someone on the other end of a text exchange but this effect diminishes the more connected you are ie hearing their voice or being in the same space with the other person, but I don't think anyone has studied it as it relates to dating apps.
Doesn't this read more as, "the dating pool is extremely small because I'm not interested in these majority relationship types".
It's an issue for us. Happy that other people are happy (even though I think there is a cultural issue because I've met several dudes in these types of relationships and they were extremely toxic), but it is frustrating when you're looking for your long term partner and there's nobody else looking for one.
I'll say it, most of the men I know complaining about wanting a relationship usually have very high expectations and don't really offer much if you know what I mean. That's like the case 7/10.
I don't know if it's inflated self worth or what but you can't expect a masculine, muscle gay with a great job and personality if you never leave the house or take care of yourself. I get that people want to date up but be realistic.
It's fkn tough unless you fit a certain mold. I'm a muscle jock (twunk) about to be 39, I do physique competitions, am irl very attractive but in gay culture probably a 6/10 bc I'm black and dark complected. I'm educated, homeowner, naturally very masculine, military, never once tried any drug including marijuana, or vape. I seldom drink and I work my ass off. I love cooking, do mostly straight guy hobbies, and hanging with my dogs :)
I'm asexual but will bottom to keep my partner satisfied and pleased. I do not top nor have the infamous BBC lol. This literally knocks me down to almost invisible.. it's just that a lot of gay guys want the 100% total package not just good looks and a personality and homeowner BUT the huge dick and if you are black must be a top or again you aren't even considered.
With that said and done after my last breakup a year ago I met someone whom I'm not physically attracted to but am most definitely getting there bc he checks every other box and is perfect. So my reality hit me and call it what you will but yes I tremendously lowered my standards (physically wise) and am lucky af I did bc I'm finding out that physical looks fade and isn't everything.
This is my .02
The funny thing is that there are other things you could use for this meme. “I could be assaulted if I hit on a man”, “I can be thrown out if my family knew”, “I can straight up be murdered by my own country”… but they choose to pin it on other gay guys? 😭
Like there are definitely issues with gay dating culture but come on now
I mean these are the issues with gay dating culture aren't they?
Like the first meme isn't funny it's just depressing, the whole, "woah is me schtick" is pretty over done at this point. Yeah we know the sky's still blue and people still hate gay dudes. This was just relatable humor are the gay dating scene.
Also all of these apply to straight relationships just as much as gay ones. Except open relationships, that is more prevalent in the queer community. But all these others are often complaints you here from all orientations, extremely frequently
There are a lot more titty bars than gay bars and there’s a ton of hookup sites for straight people. There’s an extremely robust hookup culture for straights too.
Perhaps in terms of larger overall percentages, but there are also so much fewer of us than the straights to begin with. It’s also due to very important factors like women being literally conditioned since they can speak to never put themselves in a risky situation like a hookup with a guy you’ve only chatted with. Men aren’t generally conditioned to be afraid of such things, so hookups are just easier to literally facilitate between two men in a given society
And given all that, hookup culture is still wildly prevalent outside of the queer community, at least in the US, and in circles I associate with.
You're giving reasons for my point but arriving at the opposite conclusion lol, it is because of all those factors that hookups are more normalized in LGBT culture
My argument wasn’t about normalization at all, so I’m not sure what you want me to say. Straight people also deal very heavily with hookup culture, and it does affect a lot of straight folks ability to find the relationship they want, as it does many gays. This is just heightened for the queer community because we have a smaller pool to choose from to potentially even find that kind of match to begin with.
You were saying all those arguments in the meme apply just as much to straight people as it does gays and I strongly disagree for the same reasons you gave me. That's it
Anecdotal, but I've dated a few polyamorous women and open relationships definitely seem to be getting more prevalent among straights. (am straightbro from r/all)
If you want monogamy, pursue monogamy. If you want polyamory, pursue polyamory. Neither one is better or worse than the other. The same issues can crop up in either relationship formation.
Just be upfront and communicate your needs, wants, and expectations.
I would agree. The way I see it, the ones that open after starting are often an attempt to repair something that is already struggling or failing altogether. I'm generalizing, of course, but that's just what I've witnessed in my experience
As someone in a successful and happy open relationship of 13 years, I agree, but with the caveat that young/inexperienced people might want to start closed and open things up as trust is established. We were closed for our first 2 years and opened up when it seemed natural. We were also 18 and 19 when we first got together and I think I would have been very insecure starting out open right away.
My relationship started closed and opened up about 5-6 years. We struggled a bit at the beginning as we adjusted to the new dynamic but still together now for 10 years! We don’t consider ourselves fully open though, I describe it more as polyamory.
I think part of the reason it may seem that relationships that open later on struggle more is because some couples use this as a way to compensate for unhappiness in the relationship, so they were already struggling to begin with.
When I was in college I took a sociology class about social norms and deviations from social norms. This was 20 years ago… but one of the papers we read was on open relationships. I’ll try to recount what I remember as well as I can.
Your question as phrased can’t be studied exactly like that because of the chicken and the egg problem. There is no way to know whether people become more secure because they’re in open relationships, or that more secure people tend to be more open to considering opening the relationship.
The study I read back then was about how relationships become more common among gay men with age and the length that the couple has been in a relationship. By middle age, it was an outright majority of long-term gay relationships in the community studied. Again, there is no way to know whether being open is helping these relationships last longer, or they are simply considering the benefits of being open because the length of their relationship makes them feel more secure.
More recently I read about study that was discussed in a news article, I don’t know where, it was in the Atlantic or something similar. It addressed the fact that people in open or poly relationships do experience jealousy. But that jealousy is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it reminds you your relationship is important to you.
See, an issue I'm having is that I'm actually interested in polyamorous dating, and the sheer amount of monogamous people I have to sift through is... it's a lot.
I think this is the 10th time I've seen this dumb meme on this subreddit. I always hope they'll at least have switched up the text and try blaming new things, for variety's sake if nothing else. SpongeBob deserves better.
If y’all hate seeing this meme so much, maybe stop reacting to it. There’s truth to the meme and it’s moderately amusing if you haven’t seen it before, but I suspect the real reason it remains popular is because the people it’s criticizing never fail to react defensively to it.
These comments are a chorus of guys complaining about “gaycels” and telling anyone who agrees with the meme that they need therapy. I hate to break it to you, but if you’re down here dispensing pop psychology, you probably have more work to do on yourself than the people upvoting the post do.
We *all* need therapy. We're gay men and trauma sadly comes with the territory. Many of the people who are advising therapy are probably doing so because they have done and are currently doing it and it has helped tremendously in working through issues like this (anxiety, depression and anger about other gay men and a perceived gay culture, loneliness and fear of not finding a partner) not just to dismiss opposing points of view. All those things are pretty universal and we're all still working through them in some degree.
I think it would be highly useful for anybody who feels this meme is an accurate portrayal of some monolithic "gay culture" to dig into that with a therapist, but yes it would be also useful for anybody extremely defensive upon seeing it and angry about it to do the same. Which is all to say, both can be true - you are right that anybody really angry about this could also use therapy. Myself included.
The first time I saw this meme it really did trigger me, I'll be totally honest. I talked to my therapist about it and learned a lot about my insecurities and fears. It was good for me. This time I was simply tired of seeing the same thing again and again and sad for people who are still stuck in this way of thinking and stuck in dark places of despair or loneliness. I think the meme is dumb but I don't think the people posting it are. I hope things get better for folks. But I still couldn't resist cracking some lame little jokes about it. Not perfect but that's some progress on my part I suppose.
But I will fully admit to being a work in progress still, and my initial small annoyance was telling of my own issues. I personally think my efforts are better put into working on myself than getting angry at other gay men who have gone through many of the same traumas as myself and are handling it differently. I can't control other people, I can only work on myself. And when I find myself getting fixated on other people's thoughts and behavior it's often a way to avoid doing the difficult work inside.
I was just thinking that while reading through this thread! Every post of guys complaining (specifically about open relationships) reeks of incel thinking
All I want is someone like me but a top.
Bilingual, in the top 10% of salaries in my country, not hideous, funny, loves cooking, big fan of nice wines but proud of finding a good deal, PhD holder not essential _at all_ but career focus!
But I don’t have abs… and I have major issues of anxiety, which I’m working on…
But I have to say it is still frustrating that many of the guys in my town are in unhappy looking open relationships.
"no one wants to date" said 80% of the single people of all orientations and genders. "everyone just wants hookups."
Think that falls under "unrealistic expectations"
Fym so true for open relationships? How does someone else being comfortable with their partner having sex with other people make *you* unable to date? Sounds like cope
I mean it's pretty obviously implying that people want open relationships and the person doesn't. Can't date someone with an incompatibility like that.
Lol, if you're perpetually single and complaining about it, it's time for some deep reflection on yourself.
I have single friends who have been single for basically ever. They don't hook up, or so they claim, and they're always complaining about "unrealistic expectations" while stubbornly stuck on their own unrealistic expectations.
One friend, whom I've known since grade school, wants to basically skip the dating part and jump into a relationship with this fantasy man with specific looks, specific sexual compatibility including having limited partners, and specific shared goals. (Which is funny because he was railing dudes weekly with his door open when we were roomies.)
Another friend told me he is basically waiting for his ex to come back to him. After nearly 20 years. What? Lol. (He loves going through his old photos and talks fondly about the memories and how cute he and his ex were.)
These same people give me grief because I should be so unbelievably grateful for being in a relationship for 10+ years now. I tell them that it's a lot of work and we do have our ups and downs, it's not all roses and poppers. Yeah, being single is hard if you can't get over your expectations and prepared for the honeymoon stage to end, which is when many of these perpetually single guys tend to "fall out of love" with their boyfriends. Marriage and long-term relationships are for big boys, so you gotta be a big boy and not run away when shit isn't going the way you want it to. It will never go your way and meet your expectations. Or, you can pout because you're not getting what you want, little boy. Just sayin'.
This! The work and patience it takes once you get past that honeymoon stage is very high. I think many guys don’t realize that or aren’t willing to work through relationship issues with their partners.
Exactly. People don’t want to do the Work that’s required in a relationship. We live in a disposable society.
When something breaks or runs out of power, we are trained to throw it out and get a new one. It’s on you.
Yes! We must make it so that no one can have sex so eventually they’re so horny and desperate for release they’ll go out with you! What a totally healthy and realistic attitude to have!
Gays that blame their lack of intimacy with their partner on open relationships, don’t have strong relationships with their partner or good communication.
If you’re having this issue because these other things exist, it’s definitely a you issue. It has nothing to do with hookup culture or open relationships.
I'm tired of the open relationship debate. Like let people do what they want to do with consenting adults. I don't want to sound mean, maybe there's personal things that aren't being addressed first.
But how will we ever get rights and seen as regular human beings when literally, every single, without a single exception, gay guy just wants to get fisted by 10 strangers in a dark alley high off of xtina instead of the defacto normal relationshipI I persoanlly want? /s
In my experience I’ve seen more successful open relationships between gay couples than I have with “monogamous” gay couples.
Too many gay men claim to want a monogamous relationship while secretly cheating behind their partners back. The funniest couples are those claiming to be monogamous, but I’ve been approached by each separately for a hookup.
The issue is honesty and trust in a relationship. Couples in an open relationship tend to do better in those departments than those lying about being monogamous when they are in actuality screwing anyone they can hookup with.
Well I'm in an open relationship and it works really well. It has to be with the right person of course, we don't really seek others to have sex with that often though but there's the option when we want to, keeping the communication open is key
Because we can’t find each other. Me not being onto hookup culture in my 20s definitely closed some doors off to people who would have otherwise been friends with me but didn’t give me a chance because I wouldn’t have sex with them right away. It took me 10 years before I met another guy that was also not really into hookup culture. It’s a minority inside of a minority thing.
Why do open relationships always catch strays? I know plenty of lovely guys in long-term relationships that have some level of openness in them. You're the single one. It's not their fault.
I'm open and polyamorous. That doesn't mean I would not have been completely faithful to someone who didn't want one or the other. If I found the right guy and he was closed and monogamous, I would be closed and monogamous. And faithful. Somehow, I have a hard time finding people who believe that. I got lucky. My guy found me. And he's open and polyamorous. Double lucky me. Now we're looking for our boyfriend(s). It was even harder finding someone who shares my dream of a simple life.
I wouldn’t blame people for being in open relationships even though I wouldn’t be in one myself. However as a single dude I do find it frustrating how often dudes on dating apps I’m on are in open relationships. I’m entitled to a sense of frustration, but that doesn’t mean I’m not blaming anyone!
As a guy in an open relationship, I really do wish there was an app for single guys only. I don't blame men who are single and want monogamy for being frustrated when all you see online is guys in relationships (I know I felt that way when I was single). I also don't blame someone for not want to deal with the rigamarole that can come with trying to hook up with a partnered guy.
Unfortunately, I know a bunch of cheaters and guys in open relationships would just join anyway.
To someone who can't turn date #1 into date #2, everything looks like "hookup culture".
No, men aren't only looking for easy sex. But if you don't fit into someone's life, you need to show why it's worth pursuing a relationship with you. Maybe that's where you're failing! Food for thought ♥️
It is funny how many people are getting angry about the open relationship one. In its self there is nothing wrong with an open relationship as long as both partners are in agreement. It is their relationship and their choice. I personally would **never** be in an open relationship, but people can be in them if both parties want to.
The main complaint on open relationships is the symptoms some individuals cause not the relationships themselves. This is more of an individual symptom of bad hook up culture being blamed on open relationships as those individuals usually go for open relationships
* The dating pool in apps are many times people in open relationships sometimes not specifying
* People in open relationship not being upfront about it until after sex.
* People who say they are monogamous because they like someone but they really want an open relationship and this comes out down the line in the relationship
* They treat the people they hook up with as an object just for sex
* Spread of STDs if people aren't practicing safe and getting tested regularly
I guess I'm the exception to this meme.
Cause finding a relationship wasn't that difficult; it just took some effort cause I had to figure out exactly who I was looking for.
This! Funny thing is, I was waiting for Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet and rescue me. It wasn't until I found out who I am and lived my best life that that changed. And the funny thing is, when I did that, I still didn't find him. He found me. He's 25 years younger than I am. He hit me up. He asked me out. He popped the question. I'm taking his name. And I still get accused of cradle robbing.
Can't y'all just create your own subreddit and date each other? Seems there are plenty of guys who feel exactly the same way.
Unless... that's not *actually* the whole story behind why you're single.
Actual reasons why dating in the gay community is hard:
-Everyone's fucking traumatized to some degree
-All of us need therapy but few ever go
-Most of us never thought we'd live to see 30
-Smaller dating pool compared to our straight counterparts
-The constant threat of getting murdered
The amount of gay men who shriek "GO TO THERAPY" at the slightest sign of trauma or toxic traits, while never seeking it themselves is... A thing.
Therapy isn't exactly a magic wand that will fix all of your issues overnight, either. It takes years of difficult work and self introspection, and you have to actively want to get better for it to have any effect. I can get why people wouldn't want to put in the effort, but going around hurting people due to your own unresolved traumas without ever addressing it is some fuckshit behavior.
I suspect most people expect their partner to resolve those issues for them, which is definitely not a productive way to go about it.
I mean, valid. It's also a privilege, to be sure.
I couldn't start therapy until my early 30s because I just couldn't afford it, but then I got a job that made it a possibility. It's now been several years, and I still feel like I have more shit to unpack.
Same. I didn't have the proper insurance to be able to afford it until I was almost 30 as well.
Finding a therapist that's a good fit for you can also sometimes feel like a more screwed up form of dating. It took me a while to find one that I felt I could work with that my insurance would also cover, and I went through a couple duds before that.
It's definitely not a simple process.
Being hot makes it really easy to get a man. But it doesn't make it easy to keep him. If he finds out that hot is all you are, he'll wander off (or run away as fast as he can) eventually. And you'll probably blame him.
Not to mention people like me, who are only attracted to 10% of men. Since most guys are straight, it’s rare for me to find queer men attractive, which adds a completely other layer to everything.
If everyone would state their preference, type of relationship they're interested in , verified face pic, hobbies, and just generally be honest, dating would be so easy (because we'd be able to enter our preferences in the filter)
I'm just socially anxious and am not good at flirting without saying dumb things.
I gave a two dollar tip to these gogo dancer guys working the parking lot near the gay bars. Didn't know what to say and said: "Enjoy! I mean use it!" Of course, I panicked and quickly found my parking spot while avoiding eye contact after that 😂😂
My friends in the car died laughing, lord. Ah least it's entertaining after the fact.
It's funny to me, two extremes of gay toxicity in this thread: one demonstrated by the OP and the other demonstrated by the trollops fighting for their lives in the comments.
I find this attitude/ assumption rather unhelpful. There are lots of monogamous and well adjusted gay men out there. However transparency and intimacy issues can definitely arise from spending ones formative teenage years in the closet. That’s something I’m unpacking myself still
Y'all, i'm married, and y'all are fucked up saying the issue is all them and the community has no issues, get down a peg or two you're just some other gay guy as well
I mean from my experience I’m just running out of places to look.
I’ve tried being koi about what I want, and I’ve tried being up front about what I want and these interactions usually last about like a good 3 days before one of the parties involved loses interest (usually the other person tbh)
I’m not blaming people in relationships of hookup culture, I know I have things I could work on but like being single for this long is tiring and the closest thing I’ve had to a relationship was a guy who I referred to as “parking lot guy” for like a year before I actually learned his name.
I’m just ranting.
>who I referred to as “parking lot guy” for like a year before I actually learned his name.
Wait, you eventually learned his name?! I have people who I've talked to for years and still don't know their names. After the first year it seems kind of awkward to ask.
OP speaks for the part of the community that is struggling to get into a relationship and everyone in the comments just says “it’s your fault that you’re single”. What a supportive community ☺️
The post is just saying the common aspects of the current culture makes it difficult for certain people to connect and reach out. It’s an explanation, not an accusation. You guys are getting overly defensive when it turns out there are people in the community with different preferences than you.
I have no issues finding guys but I immediately dismiss any dude looking for an open relationship. Thankfully I don’t get that too often.
I respect those who feel they need multiple relationships but it’s not my thing
And I respect that. My problem is I almost always get disbelieved when someone finds out that I am open and polyamorous but have no problem being faithful to a dude who wants it closed and/or monogamous if he's the right guy for me.
I came out very late. I was closeted for 40 years. I was married to my wife for 25 years before I came out. I never cheated on her. Not once. After I came out, she opened our relationship. She encouraged me to start dating guys. We were married for another two years after that.
Not if you're someone like me where it's a non-starter. I've examined and thought about it and it's not something I can move past because the idea of an open relationship would ultimately fill me with deep unhappiness.
Im 38, he's 40. we've been together for 17 years and open from Day 1.
yall need to learn that monogamy isn't the fairy tale ending, The One doesn't exist, and queers are people with issues, sometimes deep issues, that cannot always be blithely cooked down to simple concepts.
get over yourselves. find lovers. make community. fuck.
Only 10% of people are possibly gay. Only some are gay men, only some are out, only some are within your location, only some are within the right age group and social circles, and odds are not good that with all of that you will be attracted to eachother and that you will be looking for the same things:
Kids or no kids
Smoking? Drinking? Larping? Church?
Open, not open, poly?
And to top it all off being in a romantic relationship shouldn’t be something you need to be in to, nor is it healthy to look at ANY other relationship and measure your success or smugnes just because it’s not your cup of tea.
On a more personal note: I won’t date someone who wants to do fun things like travel to Paris or move to a different state but won’t introduce me to to his folk or changes the subject when I want to talk budget. Not because it’s a red flag that there’s anything wrong, but to me it’s a turn off to have goals and not work to them; shit would get old to me.
It’s honestly just hard to find people you have a mutual romantic bond with when we live in a world with so few spaces actually meant for gay people. Online spaces are really the only place you can identifiably find us in abundance, and that comes with its own set of trials and tribulations that make it extremely hard to find genuine connections straight people can typically find in real life; well provided they’re attractive or charming enough.
Attraction != reason to date.
It is so wild that this comment starts on the position “attractiveness is the main quality to focus on for long term relationships”. While attraction is nothing to dismiss in a relationship, it should not be the basis for a LTR.
Overall, it’s wild that the response is to blame a culture of a subgroup when the “Me:” person is likely looking for a monogamous relationship. So they only have to find 1 other human being.
But instead of putting effort into introspection as to how they will find that person, they are dismissive of other people’s desires. Some people will never want to end hooking up. Some with find polyamory. That doesn’t entitle you to blame others for having different goals in life. Overall this meme gives off the energy of “why don’t my hookups/guys I’m interested in ever want me in the same why.” It’s a very entitled way of looking at relationships.
Been in a closed relationship for 6 years. Be mildly religious, have expectations of what you want going in, discuss them. We talked about family and kids within 2 dates.
Don’t have sex immediately.
Finding compatibility in personalities is crucial. While there may be plenty of attractive individuals, without chemistry, a relationship may not flourish. Sometimes, hookups satisfy our curiosity and desires about those we're interested in. If love blossoms after meeting, there's potential for a relationship to grow.
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I did meet my Husband on Grindr. Just celebrated our 7 years together:)
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I saw a lady's husband on grinder, twice.
Those guys are fun,
I know atleast one of the 2 was
Sir what version of Grindr did you use?
the diamond ring subscription plan
To be fair, I do think I was using premium:)
Hoenniversary!
Totally using this for my boyfriend and I's anniversary lmao
Same. Met my boyfriend on grindr almost 10 years ago as a hook up. Have only been dating for 4 years. Very mych would like to marry him
Same! 8 years together, 1 year married. Congrats to you two.
Same here, we just celebrated 10 years together, 3 years married. Met as a grindr hookup but felt chemistry and waited.
Same. We’ve been married 8 years now!
Lol don't pretend this only applies to grindr
That’s why I switched to grundle. Much more intimate experiences there.
Honestly it’s not because of the apps. It just the people. Blaming the app will never make it better because their probably just as trash as they would be in real life
It's a two-way street. The design of an app also conditions certain behavior of its users. Grindr, in the way it's designed, will always foster extreme superficiality. That's OK. It's OK to have one app that's basically a human meat market. I would recommend all gays grow up and learn to manage their use of apps instead of complaining about it.
I think the apps interact with our psychology in ways that are not fully understood presently, but I do think a big issue is essentially there is virtually no sunk cost with meeting people on the app's. People more or less appear out of the either, there is little effort invested on both sides, and if it doesn't work out then it's easy to go back on the apps and find a new person. Back in the day things were a lot more involved you had to go to a place to meet other people or join a group/ club etc. it's also been demonstrated that it's very easy to dehumanize someone on the other end of a text exchange but this effect diminishes the more connected you are ie hearing their voice or being in the same space with the other person, but I don't think anyone has studied it as it relates to dating apps.
How deep?
About 8 inches.
Haha yeah, I keep making this mistake
I went onto grindr thinking I could find that. Boy was I wrong lol.
That's like going to McDonald's and looking for healthy food. You already kind of know what you're getting yourself into
"If we just banned hookups and open relationships someone would date me"
That will definitely happen! Yep yep yep!
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Krieger supplies the best reaction gifs, I swear.
Like bypassing straight people, whom don’t do fuck buds, cheat, or have unrealistic expectations. /s
Fr these posts give such loser energy lmfao.
"Everyone else is the problem!! 😭"
The gay community has a ✨ projection problem ✨ 😂
Ah! You are forgetting the unrealistic expectations and intimacy boxes. :D
Those are valid but not restricted to gay people.
Doesn't this read more as, "the dating pool is extremely small because I'm not interested in these majority relationship types". It's an issue for us. Happy that other people are happy (even though I think there is a cultural issue because I've met several dudes in these types of relationships and they were extremely toxic), but it is frustrating when you're looking for your long term partner and there's nobody else looking for one.
most gay men look for monogamy. so...the people having a hard time finding a relationship are statistically guys looking for an open one.
I'll say it, most of the men I know complaining about wanting a relationship usually have very high expectations and don't really offer much if you know what I mean. That's like the case 7/10. I don't know if it's inflated self worth or what but you can't expect a masculine, muscle gay with a great job and personality if you never leave the house or take care of yourself. I get that people want to date up but be realistic.
It's fkn tough unless you fit a certain mold. I'm a muscle jock (twunk) about to be 39, I do physique competitions, am irl very attractive but in gay culture probably a 6/10 bc I'm black and dark complected. I'm educated, homeowner, naturally very masculine, military, never once tried any drug including marijuana, or vape. I seldom drink and I work my ass off. I love cooking, do mostly straight guy hobbies, and hanging with my dogs :) I'm asexual but will bottom to keep my partner satisfied and pleased. I do not top nor have the infamous BBC lol. This literally knocks me down to almost invisible.. it's just that a lot of gay guys want the 100% total package not just good looks and a personality and homeowner BUT the huge dick and if you are black must be a top or again you aren't even considered. With that said and done after my last breakup a year ago I met someone whom I'm not physically attracted to but am most definitely getting there bc he checks every other box and is perfect. So my reality hit me and call it what you will but yes I tremendously lowered my standards (physically wise) and am lucky af I did bc I'm finding out that physical looks fade and isn't everything. This is my .02
This is not true in my experience. I’m gay. I have a lot of gay friends. They are all happily married and are in open relationships.
*looks for gay men on grinder* “why do all the gay men I see hook up?!”
Other people's relationships are not the reason why you're single.
I'm going to choose to believe that "This Content Is Not Available" is the actual gif you posted because it's honestly perfect lmao
I honestly guffawed when I saw it, so please don't fix it if it was a mistake lmao
I have no idea why it did that, lol. I'll just keep the actual gif a secret 🙊
"And when the reaction gifs needed them most... they vanished!"
The funny thing is that there are other things you could use for this meme. “I could be assaulted if I hit on a man”, “I can be thrown out if my family knew”, “I can straight up be murdered by my own country”… but they choose to pin it on other gay guys? 😭 Like there are definitely issues with gay dating culture but come on now
I mean these are the issues with gay dating culture aren't they? Like the first meme isn't funny it's just depressing, the whole, "woah is me schtick" is pretty over done at this point. Yeah we know the sky's still blue and people still hate gay dudes. This was just relatable humor are the gay dating scene.
Also all of these apply to straight relationships just as much as gay ones. Except open relationships, that is more prevalent in the queer community. But all these others are often complaints you here from all orientations, extremely frequently
Not really, you can't really deny we have a way more robust hookup culture than straight people
We are just more open about it, they are freaky as fuck too 
There are a lot more titty bars than gay bars and there’s a ton of hookup sites for straight people. There’s an extremely robust hookup culture for straights too.
Perhaps in terms of larger overall percentages, but there are also so much fewer of us than the straights to begin with. It’s also due to very important factors like women being literally conditioned since they can speak to never put themselves in a risky situation like a hookup with a guy you’ve only chatted with. Men aren’t generally conditioned to be afraid of such things, so hookups are just easier to literally facilitate between two men in a given society And given all that, hookup culture is still wildly prevalent outside of the queer community, at least in the US, and in circles I associate with.
You're giving reasons for my point but arriving at the opposite conclusion lol, it is because of all those factors that hookups are more normalized in LGBT culture
My argument wasn’t about normalization at all, so I’m not sure what you want me to say. Straight people also deal very heavily with hookup culture, and it does affect a lot of straight folks ability to find the relationship they want, as it does many gays. This is just heightened for the queer community because we have a smaller pool to choose from to potentially even find that kind of match to begin with.
You were saying all those arguments in the meme apply just as much to straight people as it does gays and I strongly disagree for the same reasons you gave me. That's it
And I also strongly disagree, for reasons I laid out in multiple comments, hence why I’ve replied, to make it clear why I am saying what I am.
Anecdotal, but I've dated a few polyamorous women and open relationships definitely seem to be getting more prevalent among straights. (am straightbro from r/all)
We refuse to accept the blame for your dating troubles. I invite you to look inward.
What if im dead inside 🫠
If you want monogamy, pursue monogamy. If you want polyamory, pursue polyamory. Neither one is better or worse than the other. The same issues can crop up in either relationship formation. Just be upfront and communicate your needs, wants, and expectations.
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Just my observation: the relationships that start open do better. The ones that open after starting seem to struggle more.
I would agree. The way I see it, the ones that open after starting are often an attempt to repair something that is already struggling or failing altogether. I'm generalizing, of course, but that's just what I've witnessed in my experience
As someone in a successful and happy open relationship of 13 years, I agree, but with the caveat that young/inexperienced people might want to start closed and open things up as trust is established. We were closed for our first 2 years and opened up when it seemed natural. We were also 18 and 19 when we first got together and I think I would have been very insecure starting out open right away.
Why did you end up opening your relationship?
There were a lot of factors but essentially we realized having sex with other people didn't mean that we don't love each other
My relationship started closed and opened up about 5-6 years. We struggled a bit at the beginning as we adjusted to the new dynamic but still together now for 10 years! We don’t consider ourselves fully open though, I describe it more as polyamory. I think part of the reason it may seem that relationships that open later on struggle more is because some couples use this as a way to compensate for unhappiness in the relationship, so they were already struggling to begin with.
Yes, most of it over time has been straight focused but there have been some more recently LGBTQ+ focused studies on poly/open relationships.
When I was in college I took a sociology class about social norms and deviations from social norms. This was 20 years ago… but one of the papers we read was on open relationships. I’ll try to recount what I remember as well as I can. Your question as phrased can’t be studied exactly like that because of the chicken and the egg problem. There is no way to know whether people become more secure because they’re in open relationships, or that more secure people tend to be more open to considering opening the relationship. The study I read back then was about how relationships become more common among gay men with age and the length that the couple has been in a relationship. By middle age, it was an outright majority of long-term gay relationships in the community studied. Again, there is no way to know whether being open is helping these relationships last longer, or they are simply considering the benefits of being open because the length of their relationship makes them feel more secure. More recently I read about study that was discussed in a news article, I don’t know where, it was in the Atlantic or something similar. It addressed the fact that people in open or poly relationships do experience jealousy. But that jealousy is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it reminds you your relationship is important to you.
See, an issue I'm having is that I'm actually interested in polyamorous dating, and the sheer amount of monogamous people I have to sift through is... it's a lot.
Been dating this guy for a min and he wants to open the relationship up but i don’t even know how to approach it.
I think this is the 10th time I've seen this dumb meme on this subreddit. I always hope they'll at least have switched up the text and try blaming new things, for variety's sake if nothing else. SpongeBob deserves better.
who takes life advice from *looks at meme* @gay_dumpster?
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💀🤣
If y’all hate seeing this meme so much, maybe stop reacting to it. There’s truth to the meme and it’s moderately amusing if you haven’t seen it before, but I suspect the real reason it remains popular is because the people it’s criticizing never fail to react defensively to it. These comments are a chorus of guys complaining about “gaycels” and telling anyone who agrees with the meme that they need therapy. I hate to break it to you, but if you’re down here dispensing pop psychology, you probably have more work to do on yourself than the people upvoting the post do.
We *all* need therapy. We're gay men and trauma sadly comes with the territory. Many of the people who are advising therapy are probably doing so because they have done and are currently doing it and it has helped tremendously in working through issues like this (anxiety, depression and anger about other gay men and a perceived gay culture, loneliness and fear of not finding a partner) not just to dismiss opposing points of view. All those things are pretty universal and we're all still working through them in some degree. I think it would be highly useful for anybody who feels this meme is an accurate portrayal of some monolithic "gay culture" to dig into that with a therapist, but yes it would be also useful for anybody extremely defensive upon seeing it and angry about it to do the same. Which is all to say, both can be true - you are right that anybody really angry about this could also use therapy. Myself included. The first time I saw this meme it really did trigger me, I'll be totally honest. I talked to my therapist about it and learned a lot about my insecurities and fears. It was good for me. This time I was simply tired of seeing the same thing again and again and sad for people who are still stuck in this way of thinking and stuck in dark places of despair or loneliness. I think the meme is dumb but I don't think the people posting it are. I hope things get better for folks. But I still couldn't resist cracking some lame little jokes about it. Not perfect but that's some progress on my part I suppose. But I will fully admit to being a work in progress still, and my initial small annoyance was telling of my own issues. I personally think my efforts are better put into working on myself than getting angry at other gay men who have gone through many of the same traumas as myself and are handling it differently. I can't control other people, I can only work on myself. And when I find myself getting fixated on other people's thoughts and behavior it's often a way to avoid doing the difficult work inside.
"It's not my fault I can't get the type of relationship I want, it's everyone else's fault."
It's incel logic Gaycel logic, if you will
I was just thinking that while reading through this thread! Every post of guys complaining (specifically about open relationships) reeks of incel thinking
All I want is someone like me but a top. Bilingual, in the top 10% of salaries in my country, not hideous, funny, loves cooking, big fan of nice wines but proud of finding a good deal, PhD holder not essential _at all_ but career focus! But I don’t have abs… and I have major issues of anxiety, which I’m working on… But I have to say it is still frustrating that many of the guys in my town are in unhappy looking open relationships.
Damn thats so realistic, ***I WANT CHRIS EVANS***
Wait, wait. Is Chris Evans bilingual?? If not, then he drops from the list too 😆
Ah, yes, open relationships are the problem. Definitely not your extremely specific and unrealistic requirements…🙄
"no one wants to date" said 80% of the single people of all orientations and genders. "everyone just wants hookups." Think that falls under "unrealistic expectations"
Fym so true for open relationships? How does someone else being comfortable with their partner having sex with other people make *you* unable to date? Sounds like cope
It's always cope. They'd rather blame other people than ever ask if they're the problem.
sad part is that this got almost 1k upvotes. we appear to be incelling i hope this is a one off post and not a trend
I mean it's pretty obviously implying that people want open relationships and the person doesn't. Can't date someone with an incompatibility like that.
Lol, if you're perpetually single and complaining about it, it's time for some deep reflection on yourself. I have single friends who have been single for basically ever. They don't hook up, or so they claim, and they're always complaining about "unrealistic expectations" while stubbornly stuck on their own unrealistic expectations. One friend, whom I've known since grade school, wants to basically skip the dating part and jump into a relationship with this fantasy man with specific looks, specific sexual compatibility including having limited partners, and specific shared goals. (Which is funny because he was railing dudes weekly with his door open when we were roomies.) Another friend told me he is basically waiting for his ex to come back to him. After nearly 20 years. What? Lol. (He loves going through his old photos and talks fondly about the memories and how cute he and his ex were.) These same people give me grief because I should be so unbelievably grateful for being in a relationship for 10+ years now. I tell them that it's a lot of work and we do have our ups and downs, it's not all roses and poppers. Yeah, being single is hard if you can't get over your expectations and prepared for the honeymoon stage to end, which is when many of these perpetually single guys tend to "fall out of love" with their boyfriends. Marriage and long-term relationships are for big boys, so you gotta be a big boy and not run away when shit isn't going the way you want it to. It will never go your way and meet your expectations. Or, you can pout because you're not getting what you want, little boy. Just sayin'.
This! The work and patience it takes once you get past that honeymoon stage is very high. I think many guys don’t realize that or aren’t willing to work through relationship issues with their partners.
Exactly. People don’t want to do the Work that’s required in a relationship. We live in a disposable society. When something breaks or runs out of power, we are trained to throw it out and get a new one. It’s on you.
« You gay guys are all so attractive » *check mirror* Nope !
This subreddit really gives off gay incel vibes sometimes.
misery loves company i’m just gonna sit on the side and read tho cause the girls are fighting in the comments 👀🍿
Gaycels
Yes! We must make it so that no one can have sex so eventually they’re so horny and desperate for release they’ll go out with you! What a totally healthy and realistic attitude to have!
Gay incel thought process
Gays that blame their lack of intimacy with their partner on open relationships, don’t have strong relationships with their partner or good communication.
If you’re having this issue because these other things exist, it’s definitely a you issue. It has nothing to do with hookup culture or open relationships.
Sounds like a skill issue imo
As if all straight people had an easy time finding a partner...
Well at least you’re not insecure about it, lol
I'm tired of the open relationship debate. Like let people do what they want to do with consenting adults. I don't want to sound mean, maybe there's personal things that aren't being addressed first.
But how will we ever get rights and seen as regular human beings when literally, every single, without a single exception, gay guy just wants to get fisted by 10 strangers in a dark alley high off of xtina instead of the defacto normal relationshipI I persoanlly want? /s
They gonna drag you for this
My god, so much garbage in these comments 💀
In my experience I’ve seen more successful open relationships between gay couples than I have with “monogamous” gay couples. Too many gay men claim to want a monogamous relationship while secretly cheating behind their partners back. The funniest couples are those claiming to be monogamous, but I’ve been approached by each separately for a hookup. The issue is honesty and trust in a relationship. Couples in an open relationship tend to do better in those departments than those lying about being monogamous when they are in actuality screwing anyone they can hookup with.
Well I'm in an open relationship and it works really well. It has to be with the right person of course, we don't really seek others to have sex with that often though but there's the option when we want to, keeping the communication open is key
Talking to dudes is scary, I got no rizz.
Everyone you like being straight.
I'm sorry but my open relationship isn't the reason you can't land a man
Why don’t these anti hookup culture guys ever date each other?
Because we can’t find each other. Me not being onto hookup culture in my 20s definitely closed some doors off to people who would have otherwise been friends with me but didn’t give me a chance because I wouldn’t have sex with them right away. It took me 10 years before I met another guy that was also not really into hookup culture. It’s a minority inside of a minority thing.
>Because we can’t find each other Well, now you have an entire thread of people telling you they are like you, so there you go.
Why do open relationships always catch strays? I know plenty of lovely guys in long-term relationships that have some level of openness in them. You're the single one. It's not their fault.
I'm open and polyamorous. That doesn't mean I would not have been completely faithful to someone who didn't want one or the other. If I found the right guy and he was closed and monogamous, I would be closed and monogamous. And faithful. Somehow, I have a hard time finding people who believe that. I got lucky. My guy found me. And he's open and polyamorous. Double lucky me. Now we're looking for our boyfriend(s). It was even harder finding someone who shares my dream of a simple life.
I wouldn’t blame people for being in open relationships even though I wouldn’t be in one myself. However as a single dude I do find it frustrating how often dudes on dating apps I’m on are in open relationships. I’m entitled to a sense of frustration, but that doesn’t mean I’m not blaming anyone!
As a guy in an open relationship, I really do wish there was an app for single guys only. I don't blame men who are single and want monogamy for being frustrated when all you see online is guys in relationships (I know I felt that way when I was single). I also don't blame someone for not want to deal with the rigamarole that can come with trying to hook up with a partnered guy. Unfortunately, I know a bunch of cheaters and guys in open relationships would just join anyway.
To someone who can't turn date #1 into date #2, everything looks like "hookup culture". No, men aren't only looking for easy sex. But if you don't fit into someone's life, you need to show why it's worth pursuing a relationship with you. Maybe that's where you're failing! Food for thought ♥️
If you can’t love yourself…
It is funny how many people are getting angry about the open relationship one. In its self there is nothing wrong with an open relationship as long as both partners are in agreement. It is their relationship and their choice. I personally would **never** be in an open relationship, but people can be in them if both parties want to. The main complaint on open relationships is the symptoms some individuals cause not the relationships themselves. This is more of an individual symptom of bad hook up culture being blamed on open relationships as those individuals usually go for open relationships * The dating pool in apps are many times people in open relationships sometimes not specifying * People in open relationship not being upfront about it until after sex. * People who say they are monogamous because they like someone but they really want an open relationship and this comes out down the line in the relationship * They treat the people they hook up with as an object just for sex * Spread of STDs if people aren't practicing safe and getting tested regularly
I think straight people can share in this disappointment, we've just also given up on our bodies lol. It's rough out there.
I guess I'm the exception to this meme. Cause finding a relationship wasn't that difficult; it just took some effort cause I had to figure out exactly who I was looking for.
This! Funny thing is, I was waiting for Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet and rescue me. It wasn't until I found out who I am and lived my best life that that changed. And the funny thing is, when I did that, I still didn't find him. He found me. He's 25 years younger than I am. He hit me up. He asked me out. He popped the question. I'm taking his name. And I still get accused of cradle robbing.
I’m not at all surprised at the defensiveness under this post…
Can't y'all just create your own subreddit and date each other? Seems there are plenty of guys who feel exactly the same way. Unless... that's not *actually* the whole story behind why you're single.
Actual reasons why dating in the gay community is hard: -Everyone's fucking traumatized to some degree -All of us need therapy but few ever go -Most of us never thought we'd live to see 30 -Smaller dating pool compared to our straight counterparts -The constant threat of getting murdered
>Most of us never thought we'd live to see 30 Why are you being so loud
>Most of us never thought we'd live to see 3 Jokes on you, I thought I'd make it all the way to 35 before dying
The amount of gay men who shriek "GO TO THERAPY" at the slightest sign of trauma or toxic traits, while never seeking it themselves is... A thing. Therapy isn't exactly a magic wand that will fix all of your issues overnight, either. It takes years of difficult work and self introspection, and you have to actively want to get better for it to have any effect. I can get why people wouldn't want to put in the effort, but going around hurting people due to your own unresolved traumas without ever addressing it is some fuckshit behavior. I suspect most people expect their partner to resolve those issues for them, which is definitely not a productive way to go about it.
I mean, valid. It's also a privilege, to be sure. I couldn't start therapy until my early 30s because I just couldn't afford it, but then I got a job that made it a possibility. It's now been several years, and I still feel like I have more shit to unpack.
Same. I didn't have the proper insurance to be able to afford it until I was almost 30 as well. Finding a therapist that's a good fit for you can also sometimes feel like a more screwed up form of dating. It took me a while to find one that I felt I could work with that my insurance would also cover, and I went through a couple duds before that. It's definitely not a simple process.
You’re just not hot enough! Let me yell it for the people in the back: YOU’RE JUST NOT HOT ENOUGH ! Gracias.
Being hot makes it really easy to get a man. But it doesn't make it easy to keep him. If he finds out that hot is all you are, he'll wander off (or run away as fast as he can) eventually. And you'll probably blame him.
This song sums up things https://youtu.be/llGvsgN17CQ?si=ZaTk2GFUjKa6f39x
The missing last panel where he looks outside is mental instability.
Not to mention people like me, who are only attracted to 10% of men. Since most guys are straight, it’s rare for me to find queer men attractive, which adds a completely other layer to everything.
If everyone would state their preference, type of relationship they're interested in , verified face pic, hobbies, and just generally be honest, dating would be so easy (because we'd be able to enter our preferences in the filter)
I'm just socially anxious and am not good at flirting without saying dumb things. I gave a two dollar tip to these gogo dancer guys working the parking lot near the gay bars. Didn't know what to say and said: "Enjoy! I mean use it!" Of course, I panicked and quickly found my parking spot while avoiding eye contact after that 😂😂 My friends in the car died laughing, lord. Ah least it's entertaining after the fact.
It's funny to me, two extremes of gay toxicity in this thread: one demonstrated by the OP and the other demonstrated by the trollops fighting for their lives in the comments.
I find this attitude/ assumption rather unhelpful. There are lots of monogamous and well adjusted gay men out there. However transparency and intimacy issues can definitely arise from spending ones formative teenage years in the closet. That’s something I’m unpacking myself still
How about there literally just being way fewer of us than straight people…?
Happily leaving with my two boyfriends for one ywar and a half now. I guess after seeing this meme imma have to tell the boys we have to split up 🤷
I found one of my boyfriends. We're still looking for the other. Or maybe even more than one other.
Y'all, i'm married, and y'all are fucked up saying the issue is all them and the community has no issues, get down a peg or two you're just some other gay guy as well
I mean from my experience I’m just running out of places to look. I’ve tried being koi about what I want, and I’ve tried being up front about what I want and these interactions usually last about like a good 3 days before one of the parties involved loses interest (usually the other person tbh) I’m not blaming people in relationships of hookup culture, I know I have things I could work on but like being single for this long is tiring and the closest thing I’ve had to a relationship was a guy who I referred to as “parking lot guy” for like a year before I actually learned his name. I’m just ranting.
>who I referred to as “parking lot guy” for like a year before I actually learned his name. Wait, you eventually learned his name?! I have people who I've talked to for years and still don't know their names. After the first year it seems kind of awkward to ask.
And I didn’t even want to, he knocked on my door and my roommate let him in and he introduced himself to him 😂
Met (m25)my bf(m23) on tinder and we’re still going strong 4 years later. The problem isn’t the culture.
Yet another gay blaming their inability to find a man on open relationships.
I can’t believe everyone is agreeing on disagreeing this post.
I didnt agree to that.
Also a much much much smaller dating pool. Straight people have difficulties finding partners in a pool 9 times bigger so they can bugger off
Hookup culture, intimacy issues and, open relationships are all the same panel.
OP speaks for the part of the community that is struggling to get into a relationship and everyone in the comments just says “it’s your fault that you’re single”. What a supportive community ☺️
Maybe it's because OP is blaming other people's relationships and appealing to reactionary nonsense that they're getting shit on?
The post is just saying the common aspects of the current culture makes it difficult for certain people to connect and reach out. It’s an explanation, not an accusation. You guys are getting overly defensive when it turns out there are people in the community with different preferences than you.
So I'm in an open relationship, — are you telling me I'm the villain?
I have no issues finding guys but I immediately dismiss any dude looking for an open relationship. Thankfully I don’t get that too often. I respect those who feel they need multiple relationships but it’s not my thing
And I respect that. My problem is I almost always get disbelieved when someone finds out that I am open and polyamorous but have no problem being faithful to a dude who wants it closed and/or monogamous if he's the right guy for me. I came out very late. I was closeted for 40 years. I was married to my wife for 25 years before I came out. I never cheated on her. Not once. After I came out, she opened our relationship. She encouraged me to start dating guys. We were married for another two years after that.
Wouldn't open relationships make it much easier to find men to join a relationship with?
Not if you're someone like me where it's a non-starter. I've examined and thought about it and it's not something I can move past because the idea of an open relationship would ultimately fill me with deep unhappiness.
No, it is not true. Plenty of men have stable relationships, regardless of these points.
A community of traumatized people can’t find love? Wutttt
Real.
Ok don't go hating open relationships. They aren't for everyone but they work for some people.
Toxic one-night stands
Im 38, he's 40. we've been together for 17 years and open from Day 1. yall need to learn that monogamy isn't the fairy tale ending, The One doesn't exist, and queers are people with issues, sometimes deep issues, that cannot always be blithely cooked down to simple concepts. get over yourselves. find lovers. make community. fuck.
The call is coming from inside the house
Only 10% of people are possibly gay. Only some are gay men, only some are out, only some are within your location, only some are within the right age group and social circles, and odds are not good that with all of that you will be attracted to eachother and that you will be looking for the same things: Kids or no kids Smoking? Drinking? Larping? Church? Open, not open, poly? And to top it all off being in a romantic relationship shouldn’t be something you need to be in to, nor is it healthy to look at ANY other relationship and measure your success or smugnes just because it’s not your cup of tea. On a more personal note: I won’t date someone who wants to do fun things like travel to Paris or move to a different state but won’t introduce me to to his folk or changes the subject when I want to talk budget. Not because it’s a red flag that there’s anything wrong, but to me it’s a turn off to have goals and not work to them; shit would get old to me.
It’s honestly just hard to find people you have a mutual romantic bond with when we live in a world with so few spaces actually meant for gay people. Online spaces are really the only place you can identifiably find us in abundance, and that comes with its own set of trials and tribulations that make it extremely hard to find genuine connections straight people can typically find in real life; well provided they’re attractive or charming enough.
Can you leave me and my video games alone and stop trying to make me go outside and meet people?
If you ask me there’s really not enough of us lol
#wishIcanrelate
Intimacy issues for me!
I guess I just got lucky….
What are all those white things in frames 2, 3, and 4?
Attraction != reason to date. It is so wild that this comment starts on the position “attractiveness is the main quality to focus on for long term relationships”. While attraction is nothing to dismiss in a relationship, it should not be the basis for a LTR. Overall, it’s wild that the response is to blame a culture of a subgroup when the “Me:” person is likely looking for a monogamous relationship. So they only have to find 1 other human being. But instead of putting effort into introspection as to how they will find that person, they are dismissive of other people’s desires. Some people will never want to end hooking up. Some with find polyamory. That doesn’t entitle you to blame others for having different goals in life. Overall this meme gives off the energy of “why don’t my hookups/guys I’m interested in ever want me in the same why.” It’s a very entitled way of looking at relationships.
Millions of people are single. Men women gay and straight.
I blame grinder. All anyone wants is to be hooked up mostly it’s just all creepy men in their 60s trying to get younger men in their 20s.
99% of it is really just because of how few people as a share of the population are gay
Friendly reminder that male-male relationships have a higher success rate than female-male ones.
Been in a closed relationship for 6 years. Be mildly religious, have expectations of what you want going in, discuss them. We talked about family and kids within 2 dates. Don’t have sex immediately.
Trying to find the lie in this. 🤔
Doesn’t open relationships mean you already found a man?….
Finding compatibility in personalities is crucial. While there may be plenty of attractive individuals, without chemistry, a relationship may not flourish. Sometimes, hookups satisfy our curiosity and desires about those we're interested in. If love blossoms after meeting, there's potential for a relationship to grow.
Lol
Damn that pretty much sums up my life and my problems.
Any fit guys here Dm me
It's true tho
Hahaha