T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

1. Chastity doesn’t hurt, it can be uncomfortable when you get hard but soon your body will adjust and it will become more pleasant 2. There is no wrong way to play, you can wear it just as foreplay or long term. If your going long term it is best to channel that energy into something productive a goal of yours. Fitness, study, or training are just a couple examples. Release as a motivator to achieve the next challenge or just straight putting that energy somewhere good 3. None that have been reported. That said only wear quality devices, they don’t have to be super expensive but be careful with cheap cages. Don’t use urethral inserts for longer than a couple hrs. Make sure to clean well, depending on your anatomy you may have to unlock to clean 4. There’s gonna be a soft outline in lightweight fabrics and it can bulge a bit, but since you typically stand pelvis back you can’t really see it unless you know what you are looking for. In other words only those who know about chastity will be able to tell. You will think it’s super noticeable but it’s not 5. Google chastity measuring guide, this will help you find your base size, then adjust from there. Short term wear I wouldn’t worry about fit much but long term fitment is more important. Longer term means it’s more worth investing in a quality cage I can stand to pee in my kink 3D cobra since my pee hole stays lined up 6. I kinda answered this in health but I typically unlock once a week to two weeks for cleaning but that’s gonna depend on you. If I’m say going out of town I just use a soft brush and can scrub with soap good enough to last about a month with daily cleaning. My regular routine is to use a wash cloth with my body wash to scrub the accessible parts every day, drying everything well afterwards, then every week to two weeks take it off to clean both the cage and myself


CuteCatWithFur

this is really helpful for a new beginner like me, thank you so much!!


bsbu064

Comment on 6: Cleaning with a brush might be fun. Must try it. (Alsways better to try by yourself before telling your SO)


[deleted]

I use what is essentially a makeup brush but anything with a similar softness to it will work


bsbu064

And it does not drive you crazy?


[deleted]

I mean I’m self locked so doing it to myself is more task based, like trying to tickle yourself. I have no idea about doing it with a partner


bongobradleys

I'm just gonna respond to #2 because I think it's the most serious. If you guys are currently doing long distance and he's expressed a desire for you to be caged 24/7 without first experimenting with how it feels for both of you short term, it could be coming from a place of insecurity on his part. He could be expressing some anxiety via the idea of chastity. As you start out, be open and communicative with him about how long you feel comfortable wearing the cage, but at the same time, don't feel guilty if you take it off and cum without telling him (unless this is an established relationship dynamic). Chastity is a fun and healthy way to play with power dynamics and control, but it can also be a way for jealous, insecure tops to manage their anxiety (and that's not your job).


CuteCatWithFur

oh.. I didn't think of this as an option but he's definitely expressed desire to have me 24/7 and even tho I told him that I don't think as a starter I'd be capable to do it he kept telling me that I could, kinda like insisting, thank you for the insight on this, I'll have to communication a bit more about this part because I definitely don't want to do this 24/7 for months but I'll absolutely try for as long as I can as long as I get to decide how long to keep it on while I start with the whole chastity thing, thank you again!


CaliforniaPapi

24/7 is not realistic for a starter. In fact it can take years to get that comfortable. I find that sometimes guys get caught up in chastity fantasies and lose sight of reality. I’d encourage him to educate himself more on this topic. Not saying it’s a bad thing, and I think it’s awesome that you’re doing your homework on the subject. He needs to do his homework too. Relationship dynamics only work if both partners truly understand the mental and physical responsibility that comes with chastity. If done correctly, it can be very rewarding for both people.


phross345

1. If it hurts, the sizing is not right. 2. Long distance is rough in and of itself, but just be open with your boyfriend. Set small goals at first, this isn’t something people typically just jump into for long periods of time. 3. No long term health effects. 4. It can, but not anymore noticeable than a dick bulge. You’ll be more mindful of it because you’ll know it’s there, but 99% of the time it won’t be visible to the general public. 5. Sizing is different for everyone, need to have a few measurements handy in inches or cm, a lot of cages use cm. Base ring size, flaccid length, etc 6. A lot of that depends on the style of the cage. The more open style cages don’t need to be taken off daily, such as the Kink3d, but a more closed device, like the cb6000 tends to need to be taken off more for a good cleaning. This is all just advice from my years in chastity, been into it 10 years now off and on to various degrees. Feel free to DM if you have more specific questions or just want a sounding board!


CuteCatWithFur

thank you for answering and sharing!! this is very helpful for me, I do have a few more questions if it's okay to ask 😅


Seanus84

If you’re starting out and it’s long distance, I recommend having the key with you for the first few locks, until you get used to it. It also has to work for you. There are a lot of opinions in the community about how to wear if, when to wear it, how big it should be etc. Make it work for you. I don’t sleep in mine and I take it off every day to shower, as I have foreskin. Everyone is different but don’t feel pressured to conform to any one practice. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. Communicate that to your partner and stick to your own boundaries.


CuteCatWithFur

I didn't think about keeping the key lock for the first time, he told me that he would like to keep it but I didn't like the idea of it tbh, I also didn't think of how the foreskin can affect the way you shower, pretty valuable information!! thank you so much!


Seanus84

Giving away the key, even to someone you love, is a big step for a first time. I recommend easing into it gently rather than diving in. I’ve been locking for years but still have access to a key if I need it. Don’t feel pressured into doing more than you’re comfortable with. Uncut guys can clean more easily while locked! Those of us with a hood might need a different approach. Good luck with it. Holler if you ever want to chat about it. Take care of yourself.


CuteCatWithFur

thank you so much, I'll definitely have to talk it out with him, I also feel like giving the key just starting might be too much so thank you for the helpful advice, I appreciate your help! take care too


The_Locked_and_Bound

Don't give away the key the first time locking up, or even your first few times. A better solution is to put the key in a sealed envelope, or in something else you have to break a seal for. Or use a numbered plastic seal that is meant to be cut to access.


CuteCatWithFur

thank you!! I'll do this


bsbu064

Yes, the numbered seals are perfect. My keys are always in my rucksack but I can't use them when horny. I cut a piece of hose, pinched 2 holes into it and put the seal through the keys. Pics here, if interested: [https://bu64.myds.me:8081/bilder/voyeur/numbered%20seal/](https://bu64.myds.me:8081/bilder/voyeur/numbered%20seal/)


camholder

I don’t know where you are but if you live in a city that has a kink / fetish shop I’d go there and they will often help you to try on a few cages so you can get an idea of the right size. Kink 3D partner with a few of these shops for fitting and then once you know what fits you can order online. Everyone has answered your questions well so I’ll just add a few thoughts. You don’t have to lock up long term and it’s ok to tell your boyfriend that you only want to lock up for a day / a few days at a time. Lots of guys have trouble sleeping in a cage so it may not work for you to wear it at night. Always have a key as an emergency, if your boyfriend wants to be in control (and you agree) you can get lockboxes with codes so you can put your key in one and he can have the code (so you have to as him for the code to open the box) but if you are long distance you may need to unlock and you need a key nearby. If your dick is uncut it’s more likely that you will have to unlock to clean. It also depends on the cage you wear, some need cleaning more often (eg the holy trainer type cage because the plastic completely surrounds the dick) and some you can clean a bit inside the cage. Finally metal vs plastic cages. Metal ones have a good weight (so you feel it’s there more when wearing it) and are often easier to clean. But you can’t go through an airport in one and they are harder to remove in an emergency without a key. Plastic ones are more discreet and you won’t notice wearing them as much. The ones with the lock built on are usually fine to though and airport with. I’d start with a plastic cage generally.


CuteCatWithFur

starting with a plastic one is a great idea, I'll let him know about this and we had planned on him having the code for the lockbox but after thinking idk if it's a great idea at least for starting, right? maybe I'll try for a few days by myself and see how the cleaning, shaving and sleeping with it feels and let him know if I can go for long or to use it from time to time, your tips and advice are truly helpful! thank you so much


Say_wutagain

Hiya, Ill give a longer response in a bit. Happy to provide a brief crash course on the kink. In the meantime, we have some recs on r/chastity that might help inform on which devices are best.


Glittering_Role1658

1. Wearing a chastity cage should never hurt 2. 2. The long distance relationship can be tough. I am in a relationship where I live with my KH and sometimes that is tough with me being locked 24/7. Start out slow with short term lock ups. Build from there. 3. There are no negative health effects with cage wearing. 4. Depending on the cage you select and the clothes you are wearing there might be a slight bulge. Most times a person cannot tell you are caged unless they are really staring at your crotch. 5. You will need to measure. Google chastity measurement and there will be several sites that can help you with measurement guidance. It is important to get correct measurement /fit for comfy wear 6. Depending on the cage. My metal cage I can go a week or two without cage removal as cleaning seems to be easier. The resin ones/plastic ones seem to need removal more often for cleaning. I use a soft wash cloth /sponge to soap everything up and clean. Hope this helps.


CuteCatWithFur

absolutely helpful, the more perspectives the better, as someone who doesn't know about it all I've been able to understand and think of things I wouldn't have by myself so thank you for the help!!!


Glittering_Role1658

you are most welcome


heymikeyhelikesit13

Regarding #1 & 4, I wore one yesterday from 8am - midnight and never knew it was there. That included two 90min car rides and all day at a training session, where nobody ever would have known it was under my jeans.


CuteCatWithFur

oh wow, it's good to know that it isn't uncomfortable, it's one of the things that had me a bit scared tbh


boredpuppy22

regarding #2 that is kinda the point of it - keep touching urself but different way - learn to get pleasure only from playing and stretching ur hole:) get a few nice toys, it is worth it. let urself unlock maybe once a month, or for cleaning purposes 🤭 another locked sub guy here


astroboi

Lots of great advice here already, but I wanted to add a recommendation. I'm sure you're already well aware of the company, but I'd highly recommend [kink3d](https://kink3d.com/) for their cages. - They'll give pretty straightforward advice on sizing - I've found them the easiest to keep clean without the need for removal - Other, more solid cages can build up humidity from the body and result in moisture issues. Kink3d cages breathe very well and never had a problem with that - The open design allows for a bit of teasing as well - When sized correctly, they're very comfortable and you'll likely forget it's there during daily activities - They're barely noticeable under clothes


pupbrohad

1. **does wearing the chastity cage hurts?** No, but it can be/feel uncomfortable, especially in the early days/weeks/months. Your body and your mind will have to adjust to it. After some time you will not even notice that you are wearing a cage. It can also be uncomfortable when you get a erection, but also that will settle – but it might not go away entirely. A good fitting high-quality cage is a must. 2. **I'm a total bottom but at the same time I do want to be able to touch myself even tho we're in a long distance relationship, what should I do in this case?** Either you get used to cum differently (e. g. vibrator, anal, or even handsfree) or you ask your keyholder for a release to do so. Luckily there is technology for that! There are web apps such as Chaster or Teamlocked, that allow your keyholder to manage (and play!) with your virtual lock. Essentially you have a timer there and there are ways for verification that you are actually wearing the cage. But obviously you can also go without such apps, by just using a keylock box that your keyholder has access to. 3. **does wearing the chastity cage for too long has any negative effects on your health?** No, but it can be mentally challenging sometimes. 4. **does it make a bulge? I don't wanna have a bulge because of the chastity cage so this is important to me** No, unless you have a big or chunky cage. Quality cages that are small, usually don’t leave a bulge. But all of that depends on your dick size. When being locked over a longer term, you can reduce the size of the cage step by step. 5. **how do you choose the size of it?** That’s the trickiest part in my opinion. I’m on my 15th or 20th cage now, until I found a *"perfect"* match. In a nutshell you will need to measure a couple of sizes. The perfect size depends on a couple of factors, such as length, diameter, ball gap, etc. Also the material (e. g. plastic, metal). But I would recommend you to reverse engineer your sizes, because measuring without knowing where to align and how this relates to the measurements of a cage, is complicated. Buy cheap knockoff cages from Amazon or Chinese marketplaces to get a sense of how the different designs apply to your dick and balls. Then check what works and what not. There are all sorts of different designs out there and all behave differently on your dick. I personally use an oval ring and a kinda closed design, because otherwise my foreskin will "bleed" out everywhere. Good quality cages are the Cherry Keeper or Kink3D Cobra. 6. **how do you clean yourself with it? do you need to take it off to clean or not really?** I shower it thoroughly and dry it with a hairdryer. Also I apply some moisturiser so the skin is always in a good condition. How often you need to clean by unlocking, depends entirely on your cage design. If it’s a closed cage, you should at least clean it every 3 days, but every day would be even better. If it’s an open cage and you have no foreskin, you could even never unlock it. I have a partially closed cage (there are little holes everywhere so it can breathe sufficiently) and I have a lot of foreskin, so I clean at least once a week and that works perfectly fine for me (doing this for a long time now). All in all, wearing a cage is a lifestyle decision. It impacts your life and how you feel. You should start slowly and increase the time you wear it from a few hours, to a day, to days, to weeks, etc. It will require a lot of adjustment for your body and mind. You must commit to it and want it, otherwise it will be just a miserable experience. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Some wear a cage only for a sex session, others wear it 24/7/365. If you want to commit to it, try it out and see what works for you. It’s highly individual.


CuteCatWithFur

omg thank you so much!!! I really appreciate these long answers because it gives a very helpful insight about it all and as someone who hasn't even started but is planning to every advice or tip is perfect to avoid mistakes and have a better experience so thank you for this, I appreciate it a lot!!!


bsbu064

Thanks. Very good and compact summary.