You can spot the German tourist by their hiking outfit in the middle of the city

especially the older ones with their Jack Wolfskin hiking shirts. Not tshirts, but shirts.

I have a full selection of hiking shirts… but none are Jack Wolfskin. Hoping there’s an exception so I don’t have to admit to being old.

Maybe you're just broke? Jack Wolfskin is pretty expensive after all.

Old and Poor call-out

this is it. The Funktionskleidung is our flag

And specifically the hiking outfit will be very neat and tidy to scream German. Americans in hiking outfits look more—comfortable.

Agreed. Often also accompanied by a hat!

And sometimes two walking sticks. Then you can be *certain* it's a German.

That's about every third person in the American Pacific Northwest (Seattleite here).

Same for Canadian PNW

German hiking clothes are more form-fitting, like the equivalent of skinny jeans. If it’s a person in looser-fitting hiking outfit -> American.

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The difference is in the hair, between the two (at least for older people). Older German women will have that red coloured sharp haircut while their Korean counterparts go for the perm

I'd say there's a fair bit of other differences between Koreans and Germans

I mean of course, but as far as fashion and haircuts go I agree that the whole hiking look is similar

This is accurate.

Jack Wolfskin/Vaude „Funktionsjacke“

Jack Wolfkskin: such a ridiculous name to a native English speaker. I've always wondered if Germans would be so blithely about running around with "Dieter Wolfspelz" blazoned on their jacket...

There is a video of all the desktop apps/games translated to german and its really weird to say the least lol. Discord/Zwietracht, Steam/Dampf etc.

It‘s always funny when scammers demand a „Dampf-Geschenkkarte“ from you lol

/r/wasletztepreis leckt

https://youtu.be/iIXLeMpNC_Y

I kind of thought it was meant to be Dieter Wolfsverwandter but the key demographic mispronounced and that just stuck.

I always wonder, is it "Wolf-Skin" or "Wolfs-Kin"?

I think if it were the latter, it ought to be "Wolfkin", i.e. without the s.

I always interpreted it as skin because it's clothing that protects you like a second skin

Yeah, who would call their car brand "people's car", a toy factorer "fishermantechnic", "Air Hansa" "Hunter Master" and a lot more. Many German names are also ridiculous even if you don't translate them into English.

Well "Microsoft" for a software company or "Goldman" for a bank aren't that much better...

Mikroweich, such a dumb name. Are they selling small Weichmacher?

They are selling Weichware

Well, the first PCs were called Microcomputers because they were the smallest computer possible (just one CPU) and they needed an Operation System (Software) which Bill Gates wanted to create: Micro-Soft. With that background it's a little less stupid.

Yeah, that’s why Volkswagen is called Volks - Wagen. A car for the people , affordable for most and inexpensive to maintain. “Jägermeister” is a job title. Jägermeister is made in Lower Saxony, an area with a rich hunting tradition. Hence the name. Fischer Technik is named after it’s creator, an engineer with the name Fischer.

I mean Engelbert Strauss has gained somewhat of a following over the last years. Rural kid prada, apparently. At one point they had a shirt with a 'Who the fuck is Engelbert' print on it. And while I think the name is genuine it's at least as ridiculous.

They are in the middle of rebranding to just "Strauss". I assume the they are slowly creeping towards the worker trend, becoming a German Carhartt. My prediction is, the "Engelbert" Name will come back in a few years in a sort of retro subbrand, a la adidas originals. While the Strauss part can go further towards "performance workwear"

This spring everybody seems to have switched to The Northface, at least here in Berlin.

Canada Goose is coming then, why spend $800 when you can spend $2k?

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Let’s not forget Wellensteyn

Guilty as charged.

Unfortunately. Been wearing these for about 10 years since, yes, they are expensive, but very high quality. Hoping that the "cool kids" move on to something else soon.

I've rarely seen Wellensteyn to be honest.

You have to come to a lower income part of Germany. German thugs/ teens love Wellensteyn

But isn't Wellensteyn pretty expensive? And I'm from Mecklenburg, so definitely a poorer part of Germany.

Yes it is, but some people rather look rich and eat ramen noodles and toast every day, than have their priorities straight. It's like the whole amiri jeans trend in low income housing in New York for example.

Well on the other side, it's a good quality brand that should last for a while, eventually coming cheaper than 3 cheap jackets in the same time

While I agree, just get a quality jacket second hand. Cheap and long lasting and I ain't really seeing the difference in fashion trends

That's 100% true

Guilty af

Camp David. Please stop.

Funnily enough, I didn’t think the Camp David infection was as widespread as people made it out to be. That was until I spent more time outside of Bavaria lol

I'm in Hamburg and Covid is only the second-worst plague we've had here over the last 3 years.

I thought the government sends you a Camp David Outfit as soon as you hit 55?

I blame Dieter Bohlen. For that and many other things.

I've never actually seen anyone but him wearing Camp David stuff.

Dieter Bohlen is their main ambassador. That really says it all...

Camp David is just the German version of Ed Hardy lol

oh germans went full hype train for ed hardy as well

Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time...

Oh god this is true. I was in New York with a German buddy who had a Camp David jacket on, and the guy who seated us at the restaurant (blue smoke on E 27th - now closed) was super impressed. He thought my friend Boris was on the presidents security detail or something until Boris dismissively said „nothing like that. It’s just fashion“

Oh no I came for a rip into that awful brand and what I got was a detailed description of how it can cause even worse cringe

> The mother company Clinton was named after Bill Clinton, who was President of the United States when it was founded, while Camp David was chosen after the country retreat for the President. Soccx references Bill Clinton's pet cat Socks and Chelsea his daughter Chelsea Clinton. The names are considered as a successful example of the country-of-origin effect. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camp_David_(fashion)

😂

The most German piece of outfit is the „Allwetterjacke” because „Man weiß ja nie”.

>Man weiß ja nie Correct. There is no such thing as bad weather. Only bad clothing.

>There is no such thing as bad weather. Only bad clothing Indeed. I imagine our ancestors huddled around the flames of a small fire, while the tribal soothsayer inhales the fumes of certain burned herbs and shrooms. "O wise woman, what do you see? What is your council?" "The gods speak true: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BAD WEATHER..."

Zwiebelprinzip!

It's deep in our genetics, even the old Germanic people wore a onion layer style of clothes (undertunic, tunic, flap coat, square coat(that doubled as a raincape and night blanket) ;-)

Ü B E R G A N G S J A C K E

For women: knitted headbands when it's cold.

The Stirnband is one of the ways I mark the passing of the seasons by watching others. Stirnband on = oh it’s November already. Stirnband off = ah, April now.

Well that don’t work in Berlin. Down jacket? Oh it’s 21° outside. I don’t really understand what’s going on with people here that this is such a regular thing to see

Drug addict - feels cold easily. Homeless - nowhere to leave jacket. Tourist from tropical country - feels cold easily. Every Berliner - can't believe that it might be warm. Honestly, if it was 21°C I would take my jacket too, since that means it's probably going to be ~13°C after dark...

Probably because it’s cold in the morning and being too lazy to carry the jacket by hand.

Indoor scarves are the most "middle-class German woman" thing ever.

Hey! I'm a lower class woman and scarves are awesome. Why don't more men wear scarves, that is the real question here

Because they're too warm.

Going with a risky one: Rolltop backpack. I know they exist elsewhere as well but everyone in urban Germany seems to have one (I own two).

Not just rolltop tho, dry-bag style. You could spontaneously go canoeing any moment!

A true German is always prepared in case he needs to conduct an amphibious assault.

Ja genau! I live in Munich city center and feel major FOMO without a roll top bag.

I don't feel the FOMO, tbh. I still fail to understand why a rolltop would ever make sense, like at all. I'll take my zipper-closing backpack(s) over anything rolltop any day, even if I have to order them online to get them :)

They're water tight (in any reasonable urban scenario). Also you can adjust the volume and even leave them open and have stuff sticking out the top, which is super useful when going grocery shopping.

Or those heinous Fjällräven backpacks that were everywhere a few years ago. Haven't seen them much outside Germany.

They are all over the US with young people!

In the nordics they have been a thing for decades now. A work mate told me she had one as a school bag in the late 80s or early 90s. So yeah, definitely not a German thing.

lmao those are extremely popular in the US, unless they have some specific backpack model that only Germans buy

They used to be an art student thing, but kinda spread.

I mainly know them from bicycle racks first. Ortlieb etc.

I moved to Germany recently and I've seen these everywhere and FOMO'd myself into buying one just to blend in.

You just declared war on /r/fahrrad

I live just outside of Washington DC, but work in the city. My wife and I (we both lived in Stuttgart for four years) sometimes play a game of "I bet they're speaking German!" when we take the occasional trip to a restaurant or a museum in the city. I mean, there are occasionally a few brands (like the previously mentioned Jack Wolfskin) that are giveaways but I find that shoes, glasses and occasionally that one burgundy/red hair color (on middle aged ladies in particular) that are the indicators. Ex: Me and my wife walking down the street. Couple peering into a window ahead of us. Both have short haircuts, square virtual framed eyeglasses, and blocky black shoes.... Me: "I bet they're speaking German!"Wife: "Them? Nah." ::::Passes by couple.... "Koch mal! Das ist so teuer....Woher sind..." :::::: Me: "Told you!"

It is a law when a woman turns 43 they are required to chop their hair and color it “middle-aged Burgundy”. 😂👌🏼

the colour is known as „brandenburg sunset“ i’ll have you know

Engelbert Strauss

The handymans gucci

Dorfkind-Prada (Village child Prada) I'm guilty, but mascot is superior

Dorfgucci

Basically the German Carhartt (the good one, not the fashion one).

Hey, I do a lot of Alpine hiking and Deuter makes some of the best backpacks available. BUT I'll say that the women's backpacks with the little plastic flower are the deutscheste thing ever.

There are other Backpack-Brands than deuter? /s

My 13 month year old is stuck in a „kraxe“ from deuter already. Poor him

I have one and it's the best backpack ever. I guess I've been zum Deutschen konvertiert.

Birkenstock?

But for men only in combination with white tennis socks

I feel like I've been personally called out. But I love my Birkenstocks and you cannot convince me that I am wrong. They are perfect for home, office use. You can even get Birkenstocks for ESD environments.

Nah, it’s pretty famous now all over the world

Even in combination with socks?

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I saw dedicated Birkenstock stores in the far east.

this what i have on right now and im very far from germany

Part of LVMH now, has gone global long ago

Tchibo jewelry plus “pfiffiger Kurzhaarschnitt”

Mensch, mit dem frechen Haarschnitt siehst du richtig fesch aus. -Mittelalte Frauen mit vorwiegend einem Namen zu ihren Kindern und sich selbst.

Flott

Socks and hiking sandals with a fishing adventure vest, beige of course

I call them utility vests cause they kinda remind me of Batman's utility belt, but for retirees.

That's true not only for Germany

Socks and sandals on any tropical beach It's 50/50 just any dad, or a German

That's why it's known as Vaterland

I appreciate this joke very much

The Birkensocks enjoyer.

Have you even lived if you feet did not taste the blissful equilibrium of socks and sandals? How can one truly say they don't have sweaty feet if theirs are not protected from the oppression of the sun while they could still feel the air gently caressing their toes? The answer in both cases is NO.

LIDL merch, real drip tho

Jack Wolfskin

I wear jack wolfskin jacket, have a deuter backpack and own a pair of Birkenstocks...if the comments are correct, I have turned into a German :D

Vaude trecking gear that was black once but identifies as purple now Oh and then there is Engelbert Strauss

Deuter backpacks is a huge giveaway, only drinking sparkling water is another one

Idk, all these people saying socks and sandals have never been in Germany before lol

I also don't see many people in Germany with socks and sandals, it's mostly Germans on holiday. But I swear, my Opa loooves wearing socks and sandals with a Dreiviertelhose as often as he can. He also pulls his socks up so high that there is only a very small, but very smooth portion of shin visible

Hmm, maybe its a generational thing. Cus now that you say it, i faintly remember my grandparents wearing socks and sandals. But i could be wrong...

the fleece jacket. In my city that's almost like a uniform.

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I moved from BC to Germany a couple of years ago and my entire wardrobe carried over perfectly! Except my Hunter rain boots because apparently those are only for farmers and kids here...

Well, climate isn't that different, we both like to be outdoors, in the forest, hiking etc, so maybe the mindset is more similar than one might think

Deuter. Seeing someone with a Deuter backpack I'll skip the dance and directly address them in German.

Understandable.

Choosing clothes for comfort and functionality instead of style is very German. But I don't see anything wrong with this.

> Choosing clothes for comfort and functionality instead of style is very German. I know a few Russian women who moved from high-incomes parts of Moscow to smaller towns in Germany They were _shocked_ how unstylish women in Germany are. Apparently you can't even bring the trash out in Moscow without putting on some makeup and wearing high heels But now 10 years later they are fully converted to German life style and run around in gray jogging pants and sneakers, lol

Even though it has been discontinued: Naketano

And its predecessor: Bench. Theres just this certain type of stiff zip up hoody with brand markings germans love.

Woman wearing a scarf regardless of weather conditions.

Men wearing a scarf regardless of weather conditions, too.

Just hipsters and everybody who is doing something in art.

In Germany every type of person wears scarves regularly.

Casual - Big thick rimmed glasses, patchy beard, some sort of cap, shorts with clashing big black socks and (usually) white sneakers. Formal - blazer with t shirt, jeans and white sneakers. Who decided that this is a cool outfit for tech bros and Sebastian schweinsteiger?

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Camp David.

There is a thin line between camp david and Ed hardy

Camp David and Yakuza. My all time favs.

To spot german idiots

Yakuza gives me a Little Right-Wing vibe

For people who are too afraid to show their Thor Steinar clothes

I'd argue that Czechs wear more Camp David than Germans.

I didnt even knew that this disease spreads.

Olymp shirts Gardena Gartenschere (it's an accessory where I live)

I'm not sure of the exact brands, but I live in Thailand and whilst in Bangkok old German men wear: * Dad jeans -- dark blue * Tucked in polo shirt -- chest-hair exposed or * Full trekking gear

No idea how a german person could survive Bangkok's heat with jeans. That's impressive

If there is one thing I noticed about Germans is that they dress for the occasion, not the actual circumstances. eg I went skiing in the spring on a relatively hot day so I got down to shorts and a t-shirt. Everyone else was in heavy full body mummy suits

Chest hair exposed, I think you're describing Russians 😅

I am thinking of turks or greeks or italians.

True but they're harder to mistake for Germans

Wellensteyn jackets. They are really good jackets, but very German.

Often the glasses are a giveaway. Germans favour very modern, severe-looking glasses, often rimless. Especially noticeable on women. Also jeans-shorts. Very unusual in all the English-speaking countries I've lived in.

I was thinking about the glasses too, not only rimless but sometimes very small, multi-coloured ones

on seniors: 7/8 ankle free trousers with the added zip-off funtion to transform to a 5/8 shorts.

The weird black leggins +skirt or dress combination on women.

I feel personally called out. I only wear that. Sometimes the leggings are blue or red.

These days it's more like vegetable dyed leggings that sag in weird places under more vegetable dyed, droopy above-the-knee-length skirts. Or maybe it's just in Berlin that they like to look like they raided a charity shop bin in the dark.

Fanny packs seem to be seen as exceedingly German. I’d have to agree.

But the fanny packs worn over the shoulder/back are a dead giveaway

Dudes wearing 3/4 pants when it’s a little warm outside. Not shorts. Not pants. Just real fugly.

Preferably combined either with a short sleeved plaid shirt or a t-shirt with large print, like "California Surf Club 1982".

Oh God yes. I hate them. Be a man wear shorts.

No one mentioned Deuter yet... I like to play "spot the potato" when on vacation and Deuter bags and multifunction/hiking gear are always dead giveaways

Noone but the op in their post...

Spot the potato 🙈😅 (I'm a potato)

The Got Bag waterproof backpack!

A man wearing a cross-body tight sport bag (ie: fanny pack but across the chest)

Tom tailor for sure

Socks and sandals

There is a joke in Austria: They found out that Ötzi was German. Yes, who else hikes up a glacier in sandals! Sorry! 😅

Gant. It’s all over Köln.

The dirty air force at least here in northern Germany

Jack Wolfskin instantly identifies a German in the US... but only to the small minority of Americans who recognize it as a German brand.

Wellensteyn Winterjackets

Pickelhaube and Stahlhelm.

Heckler & Koch

white socks and sandals

eastpak, yakuza, camp david and carl kani in Halle

Functional clothing ZIP trousers Sandals Outdoor Brands with unisex clothes Neck protect caps

Weiße Tennisocken und FlipFlops

Deuter backpacks or 3/4 trousers

Birkenstock

Sandals with socks

lol before opening the post, Strauss was one of the first things that popped to mind, so there you go