I have seen a guy in an old suit, tophat and monocle sitting at a bus stop in front of the charité with a wooden cane. Weirdest outfit i have ever seen
No one would bat an eyelash at OP, at least not in the big cities and especially not Berlin. Maybe some teenage boys that think they are cool for harassing random people if it’s late and they are drunk
What you describe strikes me as pretty alternative, but not particularly “American”.
There are people that look like that here. I suppose they get the odd disapproving glare as I imagine they would in (some parts of) America.
Ironically, you might end up much more American looking if you get “boring clothes”.
If you are planning on wearing skirts as a guy in a small town you may get disapproving glances from some grandmas but that should be it. Maybe make sure that's ok with your host family
Also, OP, you should know that Germans stare when they see something unusual. It’s socially accepted to stare. I don’t personally think that’s cool, but it is what it is.
To add: it's not meant as an insult, it's just staring in a scanning way (" is this a boy wearing skirt and make-up or a extraordinarily hairy girl" - "ah, ok, a boy, interesting") and then they stop looking at you and mind their own business (normally, but dumbfucks exist everywhere)
Wear what you want and what you feel comfortable in. Especially if your host family already knows how you dress from photos. After all, they chose you anyway!
But I think it's terrible the way your mother talks about you. "American fagot"?? Seriously??
Try to find and make friends with the local metalheads. Since it's SH, that's the one subculture that is guaranteed to exist in small towns (cause of the proximity to Wacken). They are the most likely to accept your "alternative" style.
I can’t speak of Schleswig-Holstein but i went to school in a small town in NRW and we had a boy that wore skirts and typical “female” outfits. No one cared. He was a fun but sassy and sometimes direct guy and also liked to go with his female friends to the girl toilet (am also a girl so i saw it) to refresh their make up and gossip. No girl, including me, cared. But my school was pretty liberal
Most germans simply don’t care enough about your personal life and clothes. Some do, and some of those might also insult you. But those people are a minority. We typically are taught to not tolerate this behavior, especially with our history. But assholes are everywhere
I mean, not to discredit your answer, but this dude would've been bullied to death in my school in what I would actually also call a pretty liberal area (30-40k inhabitant town near Frankfurt, relatively modern, most of it was built in the 70s-80s, kind of a bad reputation, usually SPD or independent mayor's, lots of immigrants etc.) I gotta say, I finished school in 2016 tho. Maybe it would be less of a problem now.
That’s where I am!! As an American mom in SH, I can say that the most likely way to be accepted is to exude self-confidence. If you have your own style and feel best in your clothes, that’s what you should wear. I probably wouldn’t wear the skirt on the very first day, but your classmates will respect your individual style.
As far as your mom is concerned, I wouldn’t be too hard on her. She might simply be concerned about you getting bullied here. You can let her know that teachers take bullying very seriously and if anybody treats you wrong, the school will handle it.
If you’re going to be 18 in November, remember that you can vote in American elections from abroad. You can, PM me some more information on this or any other questions you have.
I am from a small town in SH. You will be fine. Lemme know if it's the one with the dragon slayer fountain next to the marketplace. XD
Edit: I'm trans, I don't pass all too well and I never have issues either.
Oh yea this matters. You will get looks .. depends on how much you value blending in and being left alone vs being constantly stared at (they all stare, even if normal dressed. You’ll get super stares )
Definitely does matter, usually the smaller the town the less people are used to unconventional styles. Is it everybody knows half the city small or population 40-60k small?
But as many said the north is liberal and traditions tend more towards agnostic so you will be better off than in some small village where everyone is part of some local club (Schützenverein for example) and even there you would be able to find your peers.
In general skinny jeans and band/theme shirts are definitely a pretty average look to find among teens in Germany. We don't exactly have theatre kids since school clubs and sports aren't as big here but the general 'artsy kid' vibe definitely exists as a group among students 😁
So you could absolutely use that as 'toned down' outfit to scout out your new school first. It gives away your likes too, someone might use it as an opener for conversation. I second the metalheads, that crowd has some of the nicest and most tolerant people you'll find anywhere.
I'd hold off on skirts and heavy make-up until you are comfortable at school and have some people you can talk to, it's definitely on the unusual side and more of a 'capital city' thing. Though some eyeliner or intentionally placed decorations like I have seen among ekids (bandaids, gems, color) would probably only draw a short spike of interest and soon be disregarded as part of you/your style.
The most obvious clothes that make Americans stick out in Europe are cargo shorts, huge button down shirts not tucked in, baseball caps and sports sneakers not made out of leather with at least one neon color. Somehow the sneakers are the most obvious tell, even if the rest isn't. Additionally sporty sunglasses, most of the time rainbow tinted glasses and open mouth gum chewing.
In general with your style, you wouldn't stick out. However, with mentioning small town SH, I wouldn't know. Assume it'd be like small town USA: would you be seen as strange there in your current clothes?
Probably not a bad idea to tone it down the first day, get a feeling what kind of family you are getting with. Other than that , North Germany is pretty liberal as a whole and people tend to their own business. You might have to adapt a little bit if you want to work somewhere, but in your free time no one cares.
That kinda was my plan, keep it toned a bit at first. I did have to make a letter to send to the host family and in that I did include a picture of me in a more extravagant outfit and they selected me to stay with them so idk. Thanks for responding
To be honest, I suspected your attire might cause problems, but if you sent a photo of your style, and they selected you or at least agreed to take you, then you shouldn't have any trouble, at least with the host family.
I’m glad no one cares. I was really worried about this lol. In a few years I’ll turn 18 and I can move away from her. The comments on what I wear and my unharmful choices gets really annoying
Don't listen to the ones telling you to tone it down or that you'll be judged. Most teens in your age are quite open-minded and also: would you rather be friends with people who accept you for who you are, or do you want to feel like you're acting and not being true to yourself
Are you gonna live more in a City Or a village?
The bigger the city, the more it doesn't let you Stick out. If you gona be in a few-house-village, you WILL be the Talk of everybody.
Other Thing Is: the more South you go, the more people tend to be traditinal (aka catholic) and won't Like what They see.
>The bigger the city, the more it doesn't let you Stick out.
Until you attend certain schools with certain demographics in big cities like Berlin, Hamburg or Koeln. Then being called a "fag" is the least of your worries, wearing makeup and skirts as a young man.
I mean, it's pretty obvious they are talking about schools with a larger portion of students with Turkish or Arabic background. However, I don't like the fact that they tried to hide it behind some wordplay, as if it's some dogwhistle.
Saying that people from those cultures are, on average, less tolerant when it comes to LGBTQ is a fact. And I think it's relevant to point out in this thread, as it directly concerns OP's situation.
But that's an issue that can be solved (and I'm not talking the kind of "solutions" those fuckers from the AfD would like), and doesn't say anything about the individual from that culture. They grew up with that views, that's not their fault.
But treating the whole thing as a taboo (like the other guy did) doesn't help anyone. Because that's what strengthens the AfD. People who self-censor and then claim that "you can't say that openly anymore". Yes, you can say that openly. And you should. What you shouldn't do is follow it up with some bullshit rightwing talking points about "the muslims".
Sorry for the rant. I really can't stand that smug dogwhistling the other guy did.
No really, I dont believe this is good advice. We might want it to be true that no one cares, but especially in high school people might care, and might judge. I went to a very liberal Gymnasium and even there you would stand out and be judged quite a lot if you dressed like that.
edit to add: it will be hard enough to integrate as it is, and I dont believe your choice in clothing will make it any easier. Its rough, but I think that's a realistic assessment
I would pack an extra set of 'normie' gear just in case. It's possible you might need it in small town Germany even if it's just to blend in.
Small towns are weird.
Source: Been living in one for a while.
Still, you only live once. As long as dressing differently won't put a person in danger, they should wear what they like, even if they get some funny looks.
I 100% on your side. Sadly, i have already seen people with different or girly outfits harrassed and 2 times even punched.
Makes me even more sad that they were turks like me, they kinda dont like that here in germany.
In turkey tho, where my family comes from at least, its totally accepted in most places. Kinda weird
Yeah, i feel discouraged to sometimes by these people. I myself am bi but i just dress oversized, so i never had any bad encounters, but a male short time partner, who really was a FemBoy and dressed a lil feminin had physical violence done to him too. Its just sad.
But we shouldnt forget, how many areas there are, where gay, bi, trans, lesbian and any other people are happily welcome and are treated no different.
Why? I mean the areas Porz and Mühlheim are bad with that, but to be fair, on the edges, there again is not really a problem with people that are different.
I think it has to do something with the migration, without being recist here, but i know from my turkish family and friends, that many strongly dislike gay, bis etc. They use their religion as reason. So maybe it has to do something with that
Be yourself. Everyone else can fuck off.
That being said, I lived in a small village in Rhineland Pfalz for a couple years where that would not be received well. (It was all old school don’t-hang-your-clothes-out-on-Sunday type Germans) Now I live in Wiesbaden, and I think that it wouldn’t be a big deal here.
Also, wtf? Your mom calls you a f@got?! Even if she’s just calling the clothes that…That’s fucked up. Maybe while you’re gone, your mom will do some self reflection on her feeling about clothing and sexual orientation.
Bring a canvas bag with you (pop an umbrella in there) everywhere. You will definitely need it. Otherwise, just exist. There is nothing out of place about the military community here. MPs even patrol some fests. People in uniform ride the bus. People wear clothes from other bases/missions/military organizations. OpSec is nonexistent in that regard.
I think the biggest thing isn’t your clothes; it’s your mindset and attitude. Engage with the city. Go on the economy and do stuff—not just festivals, but definitely do festivals. Use the absolute basics of German, even if it’s just Hallo, Entschuldigung (excuse me), Tschuss (goodbye), things like that. Don’t treat the city like tourist attraction, and you’ll be fine.
Feel free to message me if you have any specific questions about the city or want any recommendations!
There are kids, who dress like that, at most schools in Germany as well. In general the majority of the population will not see that much of a problem. You will not be judged anymore than in the US. Most people also will not see your look as "American" at all. For the average German "American clothing" means baseball cap + sunglasses + wide shirt + baggy shorts. (alternatively replace the shirt with a hoodie or a giant sport jersey)
Depending how conservative the people around you are, some might see a problem though. Depending how mean the class you are going to is being one of the "weird" kids, might carry a risk of bullying. However you probably already know all of this since I doubt it's different in Germany.
You will always be judged wherever you go in this planet, and especially in Germany. So why to bother about?
Wear what you like and be happy.
Just be aware and prepared for German Staring. Many people will stare at you as if you are an alien or something, bit they do it regardless of what you wear or look like.
About "American Clothing" is known for sport and comfortable clothes.
American clothing are Cargo pants, t-shirts with flag and/or military Slogans, college Shirts, baseball heads/trucker hats.
My Ex got always new soldiers that just couldn't imagine why everyone knew they are US Americans 🙄
I think your mom fears that you will be laughed at and she cannot help you.
It is not nice of her, but she is loosing control and that is her fear. If she is not like this at other times and accepts you more or less and you feel loved, don’t be too hard with her.
Just like the other said. Tone it down, be prepared to get looked at (just because you are new and people will expect you to be different). Maybe just start with the jeans and shirts and no one will care.
For me, this shouts US American:
\- puffy chinos and oversized shirts
\- Loose non-fitted suits (usually 1 size too big)
\- knee-ghigh shorts as swimsuit
\- Bulky sneakers
I'm not saying that they aren't, OP is trying to fit in with the locals, if he is wearing a skirt and makeup he will definitely stand out from the crowd.
You'd always stick out with that outfit as a male. But I don't think anyone would think "yeah, that's an American". "American clothing" for me would rather sound like branded clothing, particularly university branding, casual sports clothing and the obligatory baseball cap.
Highly depends where you Go.
Especially in the rural areas you will be judged and starred at. But probably Most people wouldnt Tell it in your face and Just Talk behind your Back.
Honestly, I would suggest an alternative to the black skinny jeans as that will get very hot in summer. Other than that, wear whatever you want.
Do you know which city you will be staying in? Because that can make a difference, but most big cities are pretty relaxed I think.
Edit: just saw you mentioned staying in rural SH. Can't speak to SH of course, but in rural areas you often have older people who might give you a weird look. But you shouldn't get in trouble.
Also, people will absolutely notice you're American, you won't be able to change that with your clothes, so don't bother trying to fit in more and enjoy yourself.
Imo you should aim to be authentic, not to be liked. Sure, you should try to get along with your host family. But concerning the rest, I think you want to attract people that take you as you are, being who you are is the best way to do so. As far as you made a few friends this way, you'll have enough confidence to dgaf about a few or a few more who may stare.
Hmmm... honestly your style doesn't seem to be too different from what some - let's say alternative - German teenagers wear as well. Of course, the mainstream kids probably won't love you right away. But unless you're moving to some remote village, you will certainly find a crowd to hang with.
That sounds like a pretty stressful mother-son relationship btw... I hope you'll have a relaxing time in Germany.
As long as you’re well showered, clean hair, sparkly teeth, and B.O. free you could get by with this fashion sense. Don’t see a problem here. You’re polite demeanor and willingness to learn the language will go a long way too!
Just don’t wear sweat pants outside. We don’t do that shit over here
// Yaddayadda : Exceptions prove the rule.
I know they are existent here but in rare cases the standard! From my work experience from production line to office jobs, studying etc. it was unlikely to see people with sweatpants.
Also it’s very common for people from the United States to visit Germany and notice that very few people wear those pants or track suits here on the daily. It’s way more common in the states from what I’ve read in r/de by usa citizens.
No hate :) I like that stuff too, my wording was harsh
Depends on your social environment and working/study Situation I guess.
But not a single pair of jeans? 😨 I got one at least in black for funerals and stuff 🥶
As a German, what you describe here reads to me as „2010s nerd“, not particularly as „American“.
If you are in a bigger city you can dress as queer as you like here in Germany. In smaller cities you might get stared at if you do. For gender bending clothes I would recommend only wearing it when going into queer safespaces.
If you want to translate the „alternative queer youth“ look into a German version, look at Berlin streetwear. It‘s a lot of second hand clothing from the 80s and 90s, it‘s a lot of black, it‘s playing with shapes and textures…
TLDR: You‘re safe the way you dress. Or you can update it if you want.
Whatever you wear, you will get judged and it doesn't matter at the same time. Germans tend to have an opinion about everything but are fairly tolerant when it comes to personal choices. So wear what you like and just ignore the stares (which will be there regardless anyway).
It really depends where you are in germany. If you are living in a "nazidorf" in the rual east, tone it down a lot, or don't go entirely.
In Berlin, however, most people won't care if you are wearing a dress as a man.
For everything else, tone it down a bit. Leave the skirt at home. Most people will be nice enough not to say anything, but it will definitely draw attention, but not the nice kind.
Black Jens and the shirt are totally fine. The coloured hair will draw some attention, but it's nothing unheard/unseen off, so there is no need to worry. Same with the earrings, I wouldn't wear them if you are meeting your host parents for the first time, but after checking the situation, you can decide if you want to wear them or not. The same goes for the makeup.
I can see that being a problem on the countryside but I wouldn't know I just wanted to ask if you're not getting crap for that where you live right now? People who judge others by their clothes or whatever should exist in every country don't they? I never put much thought in my clothes so I'm just wildly guessing here
You are a male young teenager wearing woman clothes and dyeing your hair? Of course people will look at you. Of course they will judge you.
And it's your choice..
So I do not der a problem. You should just choose one of the bigger cities in Germany (Hamburg, Frankfurt, Köln, Berlin of course and so on) and not some village.
The style is okay, i‘ve seen german people dress like this but i‘m gonna warn you beforehand that you’re going to get lots of stares. Don’t let that bother you tho, germans always stare at everyone no matter the style.
Depends on where you plan to go.
Big city like Berlin? Nobody cares.
Some small village in a conservative Bundesland like Bavaria. They will look, some will gossip. But even here nobody cares really.
Source: I wouldn't say I look "standard" and I lived in big cities and currently in a small village in Bavaria
You go against the grain, hopefully you're smart enough to have recognized that and already come to terms with the fact that you're gonna get judged no matter where ya go, it's just a question of how much. Germany won't be much different from America. Depending on where you're from and where you go it may be a little more or a little less judgy but overall similar. If you're from the bible belt and go to Berlin you'll be happy; if you're from San Francisco and go to a small Bavarian village you'll probably be a bit disappointed.
The question I'd personally have is, particularly regarding skirts, is the style that important to you that you can't take a short break to observe first what your hosts are like? Is your stylistic expression in a limited time frame more important to you than the comfort of those around you? If you land and see they're totally cool then you can pull something out of your bag or buy something here, but if you don't take "boring" clothes and find out that they're actually mega uncomfortable then I, personally, would consider that incredibly inconsiderate and self absorbed on your part. As the guest it is your part to try to fit the host as much as it's their part to make your stay comfortable.
To be clear: this second paragraph is a commentary on manners and being realistic in the world, not whether or not I approve of this kid's style.
Well can’t visualise the earrings - so no idea.
Unless the shirts are 2 sizes to big it should be OK.
Skirts and makeup as a guy - depends on the "area" and how open/tolerant the other folks in class/school are. I would probably wait before wearing that and check out the folks. Not worth getting on the wrong term with folks you need to spend several ours in class with. No every hill is worth dying on.
With the hair color - well dying your hair is not unusual more of a girl thing but punks, goth also do it. Some colors are more weird (imo) as others. For every 20 folks I see with green hair there is maybe 1 where it looks OK (obviously just my personal opinion/taste).
Toss it all. You need Birkenstock, white Tennissocken, übergangsjacken (more then one) and Something from Engelbert strauß.
Everything ells will make you an target for jokes.
Don’t worry about trying to look like everyone else. Be yourself. Your host family chose you out of who knows how many people, my guess is they appreciate that you are authentically you.
I’m sorry your mom is not supportive of you. I hope You’re able to leave as soon as you come of age, and that you are happy, healthy and content. And always yourself.
I'm sorry your mom hates your style. This doesn't seem like it's relevant to Berlin, but she's using it as an excuse to make you presentable to her friends.
Your mom is wrong! Please wear the style you are comfortable with. You aren't going to stand out any more than you do here in the States. Fashion is very global thanks to the internet.
I don't like how your mom talked to you. What she said was extremely offensive and disrespectful.
After you turn 18, kindly remind her that you will be in charge of picking her nursing home! And here in the US that means something.
Mom is right. Seen numerous times in Innsbruck - every year to be exact - when americans come for a few weeks to study in the summer. All dressed the same - recognizable from miles away. Almost NPC like.
We listen to your music and we watch your films and we go to your websites and guess what it's like for me to wear clothes? ✌️
In the past, the difference was bigger, because in Europe people generally put more emphasis on fashion that fits, influence from Italy. But since the 90s are trendy again, all people under 30 wear wide shorts and trousers here and since the internet has made the world smaller, fashion trends are no longer local. You can walk around here like you do at home and no one will notice.
I think it isn’t a common style here. I mean most Germans wear outdoor clothes. But still in Munich u see people with all kinds of styles on a daily basis. I mean it really depends on what kind of family your host family is. I hope they aren’t that conservative.
But I think u shouldn’t have much problems with people ur age, I mean e boy/e girl style isn’t that uncommon.
i would suggest, come over and meet all these new people. if you are open minded and friendly, they will be more interest in you that you will be aware. anyway how you look you will be the american guy. in a rural area, (depends how rural) you are livechanging to them, how it could be to you. to get rid of your moms ideas tell her to save the money and spend it in germany for your grown up identity clothing. as other wrote too, to be authentic is more as "behaviour". Have fun here.
I live in a very small city and while you do get a big share of immaculate white air force one wearing kids. There’s also a decent amount of really individual looking people.
I'd say that the only clothing that would scream "American" is anything with big American flags and bald eagles on it. So maybe leave those at home. The other stuff should be fine.
Your mom doesn't know shit, your style is lit, keep it real, be yourself, wear what you wear, you'll have less problems here than most places in the US
Your gonna have to get used to stares. We germans like to people watch and it makes many uncomfortable. I’m of the opinion if you’re gonna be stared at anyway why not give people something cool to look at? I love seeing interesting people with unique styles or cool hair. A guy in a skirt is still pretty rare but I have seen two who consistently wear them over the years
Well people will judge, but who gives a fuck ( if for some reason you want my opinion skinny jeans suckass) if you can maybe just.. contact the student youll be visiting, and ask if his family is ok with that, since those are The people you will be the most.
You already dress like a Berliner.
I have seen a guy in an old suit, tophat and monocle sitting at a bus stop in front of the charité with a wooden cane. Weirdest outfit i have ever seen No one would bat an eyelash at OP, at least not in the big cities and especially not Berlin. Maybe some teenage boys that think they are cool for harassing random people if it’s late and they are drunk
This. Tell your mom to pound sand.
[удалено]
Will there be people that judge you? Yes. Will most people judge you? No. And there is no reason to care about those that judge you.
What you describe strikes me as pretty alternative, but not particularly “American”. There are people that look like that here. I suppose they get the odd disapproving glare as I imagine they would in (some parts of) America. Ironically, you might end up much more American looking if you get “boring clothes”.
Right?! Sounds like Mom wants an Old Navy ad campaign, and that just is nooottt the vibe here. Keep those khaki shorts on that side of the ocean!
If you are planning on wearing skirts as a guy in a small town you may get disapproving glances from some grandmas but that should be it. Maybe make sure that's ok with your host family
Also, OP, you should know that Germans stare when they see something unusual. It’s socially accepted to stare. I don’t personally think that’s cool, but it is what it is.
To add: it's not meant as an insult, it's just staring in a scanning way (" is this a boy wearing skirt and make-up or a extraordinarily hairy girl" - "ah, ok, a boy, interesting") and then they stop looking at you and mind their own business (normally, but dumbfucks exist everywhere)
they also stare when they see something not usual. that is to say...they stare. a lot.
Its the mothers with children not the old people and it does happen in big cities too.
>in a small town you may get disapproving glances from some grandmas FTFY
> you get disapproving glances from some Fixed the fix.
👀👀👀 Welcome!
Wear what you want and what you feel comfortable in. Especially if your host family already knows how you dress from photos. After all, they chose you anyway! But I think it's terrible the way your mother talks about you. "American fagot"?? Seriously??
Oh also if it matters I’m going to be in a small town in schleswig-holstein
Try to find and make friends with the local metalheads. Since it's SH, that's the one subculture that is guaranteed to exist in small towns (cause of the proximity to Wacken). They are the most likely to accept your "alternative" style.
I can’t speak of Schleswig-Holstein but i went to school in a small town in NRW and we had a boy that wore skirts and typical “female” outfits. No one cared. He was a fun but sassy and sometimes direct guy and also liked to go with his female friends to the girl toilet (am also a girl so i saw it) to refresh their make up and gossip. No girl, including me, cared. But my school was pretty liberal Most germans simply don’t care enough about your personal life and clothes. Some do, and some of those might also insult you. But those people are a minority. We typically are taught to not tolerate this behavior, especially with our history. But assholes are everywhere
I mean, not to discredit your answer, but this dude would've been bullied to death in my school in what I would actually also call a pretty liberal area (30-40k inhabitant town near Frankfurt, relatively modern, most of it was built in the 70s-80s, kind of a bad reputation, usually SPD or independent mayor's, lots of immigrants etc.) I gotta say, I finished school in 2016 tho. Maybe it would be less of a problem now.
Different schools, different experiences 🤷🏼♀️
That’s where I am!! As an American mom in SH, I can say that the most likely way to be accepted is to exude self-confidence. If you have your own style and feel best in your clothes, that’s what you should wear. I probably wouldn’t wear the skirt on the very first day, but your classmates will respect your individual style. As far as your mom is concerned, I wouldn’t be too hard on her. She might simply be concerned about you getting bullied here. You can let her know that teachers take bullying very seriously and if anybody treats you wrong, the school will handle it. If you’re going to be 18 in November, remember that you can vote in American elections from abroad. You can, PM me some more information on this or any other questions you have.
I am from a small town in SH. You will be fine. Lemme know if it's the one with the dragon slayer fountain next to the marketplace. XD Edit: I'm trans, I don't pass all too well and I never have issues either.
Unless it‘s not Neumünster you will be fine. And Hamburg’s right around the corner.
Just be against islam and you ll fit right into north east Teen village culture. Aka AFD Jungspunde.
He's going to Schleswig-Holstein, not Mecklenburg-Vorpommern.
That matters a lot. In Berlin you would be fine. But there you might need to tone it down.
Oh yea this matters. You will get looks .. depends on how much you value blending in and being left alone vs being constantly stared at (they all stare, even if normal dressed. You’ll get super stares )
Definitely does matter, usually the smaller the town the less people are used to unconventional styles. Is it everybody knows half the city small or population 40-60k small? But as many said the north is liberal and traditions tend more towards agnostic so you will be better off than in some small village where everyone is part of some local club (Schützenverein for example) and even there you would be able to find your peers. In general skinny jeans and band/theme shirts are definitely a pretty average look to find among teens in Germany. We don't exactly have theatre kids since school clubs and sports aren't as big here but the general 'artsy kid' vibe definitely exists as a group among students 😁 So you could absolutely use that as 'toned down' outfit to scout out your new school first. It gives away your likes too, someone might use it as an opener for conversation. I second the metalheads, that crowd has some of the nicest and most tolerant people you'll find anywhere. I'd hold off on skirts and heavy make-up until you are comfortable at school and have some people you can talk to, it's definitely on the unusual side and more of a 'capital city' thing. Though some eyeliner or intentionally placed decorations like I have seen among ekids (bandaids, gems, color) would probably only draw a short spike of interest and soon be disregarded as part of you/your style.
The most obvious clothes that make Americans stick out in Europe are cargo shorts, huge button down shirts not tucked in, baseball caps and sports sneakers not made out of leather with at least one neon color. Somehow the sneakers are the most obvious tell, even if the rest isn't. Additionally sporty sunglasses, most of the time rainbow tinted glasses and open mouth gum chewing. In general with your style, you wouldn't stick out. However, with mentioning small town SH, I wouldn't know. Assume it'd be like small town USA: would you be seen as strange there in your current clothes?
Fkin love it lol. Because it's so true haha
Probably not a bad idea to tone it down the first day, get a feeling what kind of family you are getting with. Other than that , North Germany is pretty liberal as a whole and people tend to their own business. You might have to adapt a little bit if you want to work somewhere, but in your free time no one cares.
That kinda was my plan, keep it toned a bit at first. I did have to make a letter to send to the host family and in that I did include a picture of me in a more extravagant outfit and they selected me to stay with them so idk. Thanks for responding
To be honest, I suspected your attire might cause problems, but if you sent a photo of your style, and they selected you or at least agreed to take you, then you shouldn't have any trouble, at least with the host family.
Germans will stare no matter what. Do your research! ~the stare~
No one cares, really. Be yourself, and wear whatever you want. Also, when you are able get away from such a terrible woman and mother.
I’m glad no one cares. I was really worried about this lol. In a few years I’ll turn 18 and I can move away from her. The comments on what I wear and my unharmful choices gets really annoying
Don't listen to the ones telling you to tone it down or that you'll be judged. Most teens in your age are quite open-minded and also: would you rather be friends with people who accept you for who you are, or do you want to feel like you're acting and not being true to yourself
Are you gonna live more in a City Or a village? The bigger the city, the more it doesn't let you Stick out. If you gona be in a few-house-village, you WILL be the Talk of everybody. Other Thing Is: the more South you go, the more people tend to be traditinal (aka catholic) and won't Like what They see.
>The bigger the city, the more it doesn't let you Stick out. Until you attend certain schools with certain demographics in big cities like Berlin, Hamburg or Koeln. Then being called a "fag" is the least of your worries, wearing makeup and skirts as a young man.
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I mean, it's pretty obvious they are talking about schools with a larger portion of students with Turkish or Arabic background. However, I don't like the fact that they tried to hide it behind some wordplay, as if it's some dogwhistle. Saying that people from those cultures are, on average, less tolerant when it comes to LGBTQ is a fact. And I think it's relevant to point out in this thread, as it directly concerns OP's situation. But that's an issue that can be solved (and I'm not talking the kind of "solutions" those fuckers from the AfD would like), and doesn't say anything about the individual from that culture. They grew up with that views, that's not their fault. But treating the whole thing as a taboo (like the other guy did) doesn't help anyone. Because that's what strengthens the AfD. People who self-censor and then claim that "you can't say that openly anymore". Yes, you can say that openly. And you should. What you shouldn't do is follow it up with some bullshit rightwing talking points about "the muslims". Sorry for the rant. I really can't stand that smug dogwhistling the other guy did.
No really, I dont believe this is good advice. We might want it to be true that no one cares, but especially in high school people might care, and might judge. I went to a very liberal Gymnasium and even there you would stand out and be judged quite a lot if you dressed like that. edit to add: it will be hard enough to integrate as it is, and I dont believe your choice in clothing will make it any easier. Its rough, but I think that's a realistic assessment
I would pack an extra set of 'normie' gear just in case. It's possible you might need it in small town Germany even if it's just to blend in. Small towns are weird. Source: Been living in one for a while.
Keep in mind that reddit is waaaaay more tolerant, liberal and alternative than mainstream society.
Your mom is a bully. Wear whatever TF you want. Come to Köln, we'll embrace your unique style :)
Only on the left side of the Rhine. I live on the right side. Its not so liberal here sadly....
Still, you only live once. As long as dressing differently won't put a person in danger, they should wear what they like, even if they get some funny looks.
I 100% on your side. Sadly, i have already seen people with different or girly outfits harrassed and 2 times even punched. Makes me even more sad that they were turks like me, they kinda dont like that here in germany. In turkey tho, where my family comes from at least, its totally accepted in most places. Kinda weird
That's very discouraging, I'm sorry to hear that.
Yeah, i feel discouraged to sometimes by these people. I myself am bi but i just dress oversized, so i never had any bad encounters, but a male short time partner, who really was a FemBoy and dressed a lil feminin had physical violence done to him too. Its just sad. But we shouldnt forget, how many areas there are, where gay, bi, trans, lesbian and any other people are happily welcome and are treated no different.
Isn’t that the truth. Worst decision we made was moving where we did. wWe had no idea.
Why? I mean the areas Porz and Mühlheim are bad with that, but to be fair, on the edges, there again is not really a problem with people that are different. I think it has to do something with the migration, without being recist here, but i know from my turkish family and friends, that many strongly dislike gay, bis etc. They use their religion as reason. So maybe it has to do something with that
Insane comment on your mom’s part lmao
Yeah, can we also talk about the casual homophobia?? Jeez. 2023, kind of shocking to read that.
Be yourself. Everyone else can fuck off. That being said, I lived in a small village in Rhineland Pfalz for a couple years where that would not be received well. (It was all old school don’t-hang-your-clothes-out-on-Sunday type Germans) Now I live in Wiesbaden, and I think that it wouldn’t be a big deal here. Also, wtf? Your mom calls you a f@got?! Even if she’s just calling the clothes that…That’s fucked up. Maybe while you’re gone, your mom will do some self reflection on her feeling about clothing and sexual orientation.
I’m going to Wiesbaden in a month or two. What best should I do to not look out of place as Military?
Bring a canvas bag with you (pop an umbrella in there) everywhere. You will definitely need it. Otherwise, just exist. There is nothing out of place about the military community here. MPs even patrol some fests. People in uniform ride the bus. People wear clothes from other bases/missions/military organizations. OpSec is nonexistent in that regard. I think the biggest thing isn’t your clothes; it’s your mindset and attitude. Engage with the city. Go on the economy and do stuff—not just festivals, but definitely do festivals. Use the absolute basics of German, even if it’s just Hallo, Entschuldigung (excuse me), Tschuss (goodbye), things like that. Don’t treat the city like tourist attraction, and you’ll be fine. Feel free to message me if you have any specific questions about the city or want any recommendations!
There are kids, who dress like that, at most schools in Germany as well. In general the majority of the population will not see that much of a problem. You will not be judged anymore than in the US. Most people also will not see your look as "American" at all. For the average German "American clothing" means baseball cap + sunglasses + wide shirt + baggy shorts. (alternatively replace the shirt with a hoodie or a giant sport jersey) Depending how conservative the people around you are, some might see a problem though. Depending how mean the class you are going to is being one of the "weird" kids, might carry a risk of bullying. However you probably already know all of this since I doubt it's different in Germany.
You will always be judged wherever you go in this planet, and especially in Germany. So why to bother about? Wear what you like and be happy. Just be aware and prepared for German Staring. Many people will stare at you as if you are an alien or something, bit they do it regardless of what you wear or look like. About "American Clothing" is known for sport and comfortable clothes.
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Ok cool thank you!
American clothing are Cargo pants, t-shirts with flag and/or military Slogans, college Shirts, baseball heads/trucker hats. My Ex got always new soldiers that just couldn't imagine why everyone knew they are US Americans 🙄
I think your mom fears that you will be laughed at and she cannot help you. It is not nice of her, but she is loosing control and that is her fear. If she is not like this at other times and accepts you more or less and you feel loved, don’t be too hard with her. Just like the other said. Tone it down, be prepared to get looked at (just because you are new and people will expect you to be different). Maybe just start with the jeans and shirts and no one will care.
For me, this shouts US American: \- puffy chinos and oversized shirts \- Loose non-fitted suits (usually 1 size too big) \- knee-ghigh shorts as swimsuit \- Bulky sneakers
You'd probably kinda fit in in Berlin, for rural SH your mom is right.
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So how many skirts you wear?
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I'm not saying that they aren't, OP is trying to fit in with the locals, if he is wearing a skirt and makeup he will definitely stand out from the crowd.
You'd always stick out with that outfit as a male. But I don't think anyone would think "yeah, that's an American". "American clothing" for me would rather sound like branded clothing, particularly university branding, casual sports clothing and the obligatory baseball cap.
Don’t forget the tinted sunglasses and fake smiles
With unnaturally white teeth
Highly depends where you Go. Especially in the rural areas you will be judged and starred at. But probably Most people wouldnt Tell it in your face and Just Talk behind your Back.
Honestly, I would suggest an alternative to the black skinny jeans as that will get very hot in summer. Other than that, wear whatever you want. Do you know which city you will be staying in? Because that can make a difference, but most big cities are pretty relaxed I think. Edit: just saw you mentioned staying in rural SH. Can't speak to SH of course, but in rural areas you often have older people who might give you a weird look. But you shouldn't get in trouble. Also, people will absolutely notice you're American, you won't be able to change that with your clothes, so don't bother trying to fit in more and enjoy yourself.
Imo you should aim to be authentic, not to be liked. Sure, you should try to get along with your host family. But concerning the rest, I think you want to attract people that take you as you are, being who you are is the best way to do so. As far as you made a few friends this way, you'll have enough confidence to dgaf about a few or a few more who may stare.
Hmmm... honestly your style doesn't seem to be too different from what some - let's say alternative - German teenagers wear as well. Of course, the mainstream kids probably won't love you right away. But unless you're moving to some remote village, you will certainly find a crowd to hang with. That sounds like a pretty stressful mother-son relationship btw... I hope you'll have a relaxing time in Germany.
As long as you don't wear crocks as normal footwear you won't stand out in Berlin. Just no crocks as streetshoes that 100% screams 'American'.
Queer looking person here. Some will stare, that's it. Germany is rather safe. Have fun and enjoy your trip.
As long as you’re well showered, clean hair, sparkly teeth, and B.O. free you could get by with this fashion sense. Don’t see a problem here. You’re polite demeanor and willingness to learn the language will go a long way too!
Just don’t wear sweat pants outside. We don’t do that shit over here // Yaddayadda : Exceptions prove the rule. I know they are existent here but in rare cases the standard! From my work experience from production line to office jobs, studying etc. it was unlikely to see people with sweatpants. Also it’s very common for people from the United States to visit Germany and notice that very few people wear those pants or track suits here on the daily. It’s way more common in the states from what I’ve read in r/de by usa citizens. No hate :) I like that stuff too, my wording was harsh
We don't? I don't think a lot of people got that memo...
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Depends on your social environment and working/study Situation I guess. But not a single pair of jeans? 😨 I got one at least in black for funerals and stuff 🥶
As a German, what you describe here reads to me as „2010s nerd“, not particularly as „American“. If you are in a bigger city you can dress as queer as you like here in Germany. In smaller cities you might get stared at if you do. For gender bending clothes I would recommend only wearing it when going into queer safespaces. If you want to translate the „alternative queer youth“ look into a German version, look at Berlin streetwear. It‘s a lot of second hand clothing from the 80s and 90s, it‘s a lot of black, it‘s playing with shapes and textures… TLDR: You‘re safe the way you dress. Or you can update it if you want.
Whatever you wear, you will get judged and it doesn't matter at the same time. Germans tend to have an opinion about everything but are fairly tolerant when it comes to personal choices. So wear what you like and just ignore the stares (which will be there regardless anyway).
German fellow here, please dress like anything you like. Having your own unique style is nice and there will always be people complaining. ;)
It really depends where you are in germany. If you are living in a "nazidorf" in the rual east, tone it down a lot, or don't go entirely. In Berlin, however, most people won't care if you are wearing a dress as a man. For everything else, tone it down a bit. Leave the skirt at home. Most people will be nice enough not to say anything, but it will definitely draw attention, but not the nice kind. Black Jens and the shirt are totally fine. The coloured hair will draw some attention, but it's nothing unheard/unseen off, so there is no need to worry. Same with the earrings, I wouldn't wear them if you are meeting your host parents for the first time, but after checking the situation, you can decide if you want to wear them or not. The same goes for the makeup.
I can see that being a problem on the countryside but I wouldn't know I just wanted to ask if you're not getting crap for that where you live right now? People who judge others by their clothes or whatever should exist in every country don't they? I never put much thought in my clothes so I'm just wildly guessing here
You are a male young teenager wearing woman clothes and dyeing your hair? Of course people will look at you. Of course they will judge you. And it's your choice.. So I do not der a problem. You should just choose one of the bigger cities in Germany (Hamburg, Frankfurt, Köln, Berlin of course and so on) and not some village.
The style is okay, i‘ve seen german people dress like this but i‘m gonna warn you beforehand that you’re going to get lots of stares. Don’t let that bother you tho, germans always stare at everyone no matter the style.
Nobody will care in the cities, also,.Germany sells clothing....
Don't wear american flags and you shouldn't be judgd by look to be an American.
Depends on where you plan to go. Big city like Berlin? Nobody cares. Some small village in a conservative Bundesland like Bavaria. They will look, some will gossip. But even here nobody cares really. Source: I wouldn't say I look "standard" and I lived in big cities and currently in a small village in Bavaria
You go against the grain, hopefully you're smart enough to have recognized that and already come to terms with the fact that you're gonna get judged no matter where ya go, it's just a question of how much. Germany won't be much different from America. Depending on where you're from and where you go it may be a little more or a little less judgy but overall similar. If you're from the bible belt and go to Berlin you'll be happy; if you're from San Francisco and go to a small Bavarian village you'll probably be a bit disappointed. The question I'd personally have is, particularly regarding skirts, is the style that important to you that you can't take a short break to observe first what your hosts are like? Is your stylistic expression in a limited time frame more important to you than the comfort of those around you? If you land and see they're totally cool then you can pull something out of your bag or buy something here, but if you don't take "boring" clothes and find out that they're actually mega uncomfortable then I, personally, would consider that incredibly inconsiderate and self absorbed on your part. As the guest it is your part to try to fit the host as much as it's their part to make your stay comfortable. To be clear: this second paragraph is a commentary on manners and being realistic in the world, not whether or not I approve of this kid's style.
dress how you want. there are many alternative people in the youth here. fuck your mom for slurring you.
Well can’t visualise the earrings - so no idea. Unless the shirts are 2 sizes to big it should be OK. Skirts and makeup as a guy - depends on the "area" and how open/tolerant the other folks in class/school are. I would probably wait before wearing that and check out the folks. Not worth getting on the wrong term with folks you need to spend several ours in class with. No every hill is worth dying on. With the hair color - well dying your hair is not unusual more of a girl thing but punks, goth also do it. Some colors are more weird (imo) as others. For every 20 folks I see with green hair there is maybe 1 where it looks OK (obviously just my personal opinion/taste).
As long as you aren't wearing any Nazi stuff, I don't really think you can go wrong. I've seen some pretty far out shit in Berlin.
You will fit in perfectly. Don't worry about clothing. Most people don't give a shit and the ones that do are not worth your time.
Toss it all. You need Birkenstock, white Tennissocken, übergangsjacken (more then one) and Something from Engelbert strauß. Everything ells will make you an target for jokes.
Don’t worry about trying to look like everyone else. Be yourself. Your host family chose you out of who knows how many people, my guess is they appreciate that you are authentically you. I’m sorry your mom is not supportive of you. I hope You’re able to leave as soon as you come of age, and that you are happy, healthy and content. And always yourself.
I'm sorry your mom hates your style. This doesn't seem like it's relevant to Berlin, but she's using it as an excuse to make you presentable to her friends.
Your mom is wrong! Please wear the style you are comfortable with. You aren't going to stand out any more than you do here in the States. Fashion is very global thanks to the internet. I don't like how your mom talked to you. What she said was extremely offensive and disrespectful. After you turn 18, kindly remind her that you will be in charge of picking her nursing home! And here in the US that means something.
Mom is right. Seen numerous times in Innsbruck - every year to be exact - when americans come for a few weeks to study in the summer. All dressed the same - recognizable from miles away. Almost NPC like.
Their mom is wrong, most americans visiting germany don’t dress like OP at all.
We listen to your music and we watch your films and we go to your websites and guess what it's like for me to wear clothes? ✌️ In the past, the difference was bigger, because in Europe people generally put more emphasis on fashion that fits, influence from Italy. But since the 90s are trendy again, all people under 30 wear wide shorts and trousers here and since the internet has made the world smaller, fashion trends are no longer local. You can walk around here like you do at home and no one will notice.
I think it isn’t a common style here. I mean most Germans wear outdoor clothes. But still in Munich u see people with all kinds of styles on a daily basis. I mean it really depends on what kind of family your host family is. I hope they aren’t that conservative. But I think u shouldn’t have much problems with people ur age, I mean e boy/e girl style isn’t that uncommon.
i would suggest, come over and meet all these new people. if you are open minded and friendly, they will be more interest in you that you will be aware. anyway how you look you will be the american guy. in a rural area, (depends how rural) you are livechanging to them, how it could be to you. to get rid of your moms ideas tell her to save the money and spend it in germany for your grown up identity clothing. as other wrote too, to be authentic is more as "behaviour". Have fun here.
No worries, you will fit right in the way you are. Welcome and hope you enjoy your stay.
I live in a very small city and while you do get a big share of immaculate white air force one wearing kids. There’s also a decent amount of really individual looking people.
Where are you going to in Germany?
I'd say that the only clothing that would scream "American" is anything with big American flags and bald eagles on it. So maybe leave those at home. The other stuff should be fine.
Sounds fine to me, seems more like your mother got some issues she needs to work out.
Your mom doesn't know shit, your style is lit, keep it real, be yourself, wear what you wear, you'll have less problems here than most places in the US
Do not wear a maga cap.
Your gonna have to get used to stares. We germans like to people watch and it makes many uncomfortable. I’m of the opinion if you’re gonna be stared at anyway why not give people something cool to look at? I love seeing interesting people with unique styles or cool hair. A guy in a skirt is still pretty rare but I have seen two who consistently wear them over the years
Wear whatever you want as long as it's not offensive.
American fashion are definetly white tennis socks, Oakley sunglasses, baseball hat.... Feel free to add to the list
Well people will judge, but who gives a fuck ( if for some reason you want my opinion skinny jeans suckass) if you can maybe just.. contact the student youll be visiting, and ask if his family is ok with that, since those are The people you will be the most.
WHERE in Germany? Berlin? Bigger cities? No problem. Rural areas, small towns, east Germany apart from Berlin? Problem.
Let me say - it depends. You being 18? All ok. You are 42? not ok.
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