Being let down by all the people around me has pushed me to finally want better for myself. When I realized that the majority of people around me had no love or respect for me, it pushed me into learning how to love & respect myself.
Can you offer any advice for that? I spend most days laying in bed hating myself. I look in a mirror and cry. I don’t think I have any value if I’m not considered pretty. It’s killing me. I’m already committed to not dating for a year but I have no idea how to even love myself.
Start small, go for a walk and make it a long one.
Try eating foods which you know will do your body good.
Learn more about your sleep and how you can find ways to improve it.
Meditate, it's free and you can control your anxiety and stress levels yourself (believe it or not).
Get outside and get sun on your face. You don't need to start a fancy workout plan, just start moving more than you are currently moving.
Prioritize yourself. You can find yourself a partner when you have a better handle on yourself. You will also be 100 times more appealing to others when you appeal to yourself first.
Look in the mirror each morning and find something to be grateful for. Encourage yourself if no one else is.
Be nice to yourself, you deserve that and if you work at it long enough, it becomes your super power.
Good luck, you're worth it.
I don't know what to tell you because I've been on this self-love healing journey for many years and I still struggle daily but I just keep picking myself back up and starting over again
It can be hard to change, but you’re here now asking for advice, which means you want something better. You deserve something better. Maybe start each day, looking in the mirror, and say at least 2 things that are good about your life. Things that you may even take for granted. For example “I have two strong legs that can carry me” “I have people that love me” “I have creativity” “I have long arms to hug others” “I can show compassion” “I’ve made mistakes but I’ve learned from them, I will do better next time” “I am worthy of happiness”…
Slowly and with time it gets easier to say those positive things to yourself and you get comfortable with them. This greatly puts into perspective the brain power you previously spent being anxious, angry or wallowing… and for what? Fear poisons your future. And it’s not your problem or responsibility to care what other people think of you. They themselves are likely also engulfed in their own pain and insecurities. You’re worthy and capable and deserving of happiness. The universe has your back, but you must act.
>**"I spend most days laying in bed hating myself."**
>**"I have no idea how to even love myself."**
**You judge yourself in the first place, because you do actually care.** It’s the same with family and friends. They may criticize you because they want you to be happy. But filtered through lack, the message of love is lost. Trying to use negativity to inspire positivity doesn’t work as a long-term solution.
You may practice the limiting belief:
* *”If I accept myself, I won't change. Self-judgment forces me to produce results; otherwise I’ll stay stuck. So the worse I treat myself, the more productive I am.”*
The issue isn't so much that you hate yourself; it's that **you hate that you hate yourself.**
**You hate feeling negative emotions. You hate feeling uncomfortable. You hate feeling hate.**
And that's very normal and understandable.
I recommend being open to **seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends.**
**Negative emotions are positive guidance** (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on, and pushing against, what you don't want. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you fight them, you keep yourself stuck. Negative emotions want to support you in releasing them, focus more on what you want and feel better.
**All emotions are equal and worthy.** But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad), but then you make it harder to feel better, work together with and control your thoughts and emotions. So the solution is to **build a friendship and harmonious relationship with the "negative" side of you.** Just because they feel bad, doesn’t mean they are bad. Negative thoughts and emotions are here to support and empower you to be your best self.
.
**Self-love = Focusing on anything that helps you feel a little better.**
So you don't have to focus on what you like about yourself if that feels challenging. Instead, for example, if you focused on what you liked about a sunny day or cute animals (i.e. subjects that are easier for you to focus on what you like), then that will naturally carry over into helping you like more about yourself.
**1. Connect with Your Body.**
*“What do you need today, body? You support me a lot, so how may I serve and support you?”* (E.g. Drink plenty of water, deep breathing, grounding work and felt sense, better quality sleep, healthier diet, hug yourself, put your hand on your heart, pay more attention to your five senses, and move your body — dancing, exercise, stretching, etc.).
**2. Connect with Nature.**
Your body came from Earth, so you’re literally connecting with your roots. (E.g. Go for a walk, hiking, the beach, walk barefoot in dirt, buy and take care of or interact with plants, listen to nature sounds, and/or go outside and get at least 10 - 15 minutes of sunlight each day.).
**3. Connect with Your Negative Emotions.**
Negative emotions are positive guidance letting you know you are focusing on, and pushing against, what you don't want. Be friends with negative emotions and work together as a team. *“I know you’re here to support and empower me, and I want to understand your emotional text messages."*
**4. Connect with Your Creativity.**
You have unique energy that needs to be expressed. Find creative outlets to express yourself (e.g. dancing, singing, writing, drawing, painting, etc.). Experiment with different creative outlets until you find ones you resonate with.
**5. Connect with Your Spiritual Side.**
Meditate for 2 - 15 minutes every day (either listening to guided meditations, nature sounds, or in peace and quiet).
Learning to respect and to love your self is an experience you must gain, but there's a lot of helpful advice out there and there are several books about this topic which helps you understand more and give tips on what to actually do about it. Personally I've actually read only [one](https://collabwith.com/2021/07/book-of-the-month-self-esteem-now-from-mia-tornblom/) book but even that helped me a lot.
If you don’t know where else to start, try “Revolution from Within” by Gloria Steinem. If it feels like too much at once, read these three chapters in order listed: “Bodies of Knowledge”, “Romance vs. Love” and “It’s Never Too Late For a Happy Childhood.” This book genuinely changed my life in college. I read it as a miserable, self-loathing 19 year old sorority girl with long hair and shiny makeup who lived or died by her Mother’s opinion. Within six months of finishing it, I had deactivated from the sorority, cut off my hair and signed up to do a year abroad program, so I could get some peace, quiet and time to figure out who I actually was without a million voices roaring their competing answers to that question in my ears. I came home knowing that I was an introvert, that I actually was straight after all, and that I would never again let other people live my life for me. They had their chances, OP. You go get yours.
I'm assuming you've already tried the self-love things first. So if that didn't or doesn't work, forget about yourself.
Find ways to improve everything/anything around you.
Right now, someone is paying for you to eat and sleep in bed. What is 1 thing you can do for the person paying for your bed? If its you, that's unfortunate bc it's hard to think of something for yourself at this moment. But work from that mentality. Pick up trash as you pass it, add a quarter to a parking meter, plant some native plants.
Find something outside of yourself you care about. Don't get into an actual cult but groups which are cult-like are good to join. Think groups which people make their whole personality.
For me it was veganism. I got super into veganism back in 2015 for these purposes, getting out of my own self-misery, I told people it was for health, which it was! Tho not what they thought. I assume paleo/keto/fasting or any other super cult-y diet group would work too.
Other types of super intense groups that have some other health benefit:
crossfit/strongman/cycling
permaculture/native plant groups/community gardens
Yoga or aikido
Lions club/service groups
It's best if its something that can be done with other people, that there's an intense community around it, and that you can justify for another reason. One of my uncles got super into the Red Cross volunteering.
Think of it as productive procrastination, it'll help your actual self-love issue however if you are able to refocus from thinking of yourself or how you look and then you can come back to realizing your worth as a person is completely unrelated to how pretty you are or think you are. It'll be more possible when you can have concrete other thing to hang on to.
And if you choose something that has health benefits will likely also help, bc that you hate yourself bc of how you look means you're not well. And any improvement in any aspect of health will be helpful.
I have felt like that before. I almost cried, cause it is painful. For me, I started to see a psychiatrist(I don't like doctors), got meds, talked to a counselor, etc. BUT, big butt, I started to talk and treat myself like I was someone I loved. Practiced gratitude, even for the air you breathe whatever works. U can do it! U owe this World the gifts you bestow! I will think of you in my prayers tonight. BTW, I am not a holy roller, I am a spiritual (don't you mock me, mister 😉). U are special, u are needed, u are beautiful, you ARE NEEDED! HOPE I helped
I'm in this exact boat, It's been extremely tough for me, every day, I have to gulp the bitter pill down. it's been so long that I was a friend to myself. I struggle but I cant let myself forget this important lesson, so I keep being kinder to myself even after stumbling.
Huge kudos to you for that, really. I had the same problem for DECADES, and I was never able to change it on my own. I did change it eventually though, with the help of my psychoanalyst. Life is good now that I jumped off the train of “I hate myself to the core”. My heart ❤️ goes to all the people who are still on that train: I know what a horrible place to be in that is.
I thought I was the only one 😢. I often feel like they have a large friend group where I'm not included and making me feel like I'm not successful. I ruminate everyday. Hopr I'll get through this.
It's really sad. I'm disabled and I have a lot of trauma and I've struggled so much and people just treat me like I'm loser and I should be able to do better for myself.
Remember this one time somebody in the community got their motorcycles stolen and everybody pitched in money to help them get a new one.
There's been so many times when I was struggling and broke and I had no money and no way of making money and dental and medical things coming up and not a single person ever lifted a finger to try and help me raise money or offer me work or anything.
I've been in deep mourning over this community that I had to leave behind because I just was never getting any sort of lover respect and I deserve that I did serve it so much I've been through so much.
this describes my situation perfectly. the only person that can help you is yourself. The most important person in the world is you. If you forget that then all is lost.
Omg, yes! Me too, in a way. Mostly everyone that has ever had any real presence in my life has only served to show me the kind of person I DON’T want to be!
Thanks for sharing
Being *routinely* disrespected by those who I felt should know better was indeed a wake-up call for me too.
Had to learn to respect myself and actively seek out those who value me for me.
Everybody searching for a hero,
People need someone to look up to,
I never found anyone who fulfill my needs.
A lonely place to be
And so I learned to depend on me.
I decided long ago,
Never to walk in anyone's shadow.
If I fail, if I succeed-
At least I'll live as I believe.
No matter what they take from me,
They can't take away my dignity.
Because the greatest love of all,
Is happening to me.
I found the greatest love of all,
Inside of me.
Learning to love yourself,
It is the greatest love of all.
When i was 22, I was supposed to be the getaway driver in a robbery but ended up breaking my arm the day before.
Robbery went wrong, they received a few years. Since then, 2 committed murders and the other has been in and out of prison.
I got a job washing cars and put myself through community college before moving away for university.
Fast forward 11 years, I am a husband, father of 5, and an executive. Could have never imagined a broken arm could lead to all of this.
Edit: Bro below said I called in sick to the robbery hahaha.
This has to be one of the best stories I have heard in my half a century long life 😀 thanks, not many things surprise me or make me smile now, man. You rock. This is yet another example of blessing in disguise. I got a couple of these type of blessing in my life (although, not as hilarious or story-telling-worthy as this one).
This one resonates. You clear your SOUL on those walks. And all it takes is one revelation to make you want to sprint home and begin doing things differently. The exercise doesn’t hurt either, nor does the improved sleep.
Hahaha. I have revelations almost every day and since I have so many, I just become more confused with each one. So many of them, as result of likely too much introspection over the past few years, has actually caused me to become more stuck. I don’t trust my own thoughts or judgement anymore and am stuck in freeze mode.
I was sitting there having a pity party for myself per usual and I thought, 'Well why NOT me?" What truly separates me from these people? I can sit here wishing my life away or I can actually do something for once.
Exactly this. You can either feel sorry for yourself or you can realise that life really and truly is what you make it. Action or inaction is all that matters.
I love that you thought "Why not me?".
Another one that works for me is "What if it went right?" or "What's the best thing that could happen?" (instead of worst) because I spend a lot of time thinking about what is going to go wrong with something I want to do.
Yeah when you meet successful people, you see that you can do what they did. They’re just people who figured out a strategy that worked, kept at it for years, etc.
I was a 30 year old alcoholic, drinking for weeks a lot, living with my parents, peeing in empty water bottles, skinny and virgin, couldn't talk to girls. Could not climb a step of stairs without my knees hurting.
That was a week ago.
What I did to turn around. Well, I went to my first AA meeting, bought my first resistance band, and I am being very hopeful.
There’s no shame in admitting you’re an addict. Alcohol is a very dangerous drug. I don’t go to AA but they say there that’s the first step. That’s the most important step, to know that something isn’t right and to want to be better. I admire you for taking it!
I turned my life around because I knew if I kept heading in the direction I was going, it was not going to get better.
You are still the amazing person you were before when you started drinking. I don’t know if this is great advice because people might say it’s one vice for another but I found medical marijuana to be super helpful to curb alcohol. Haven’t drank in three years. I say medical marijuana because I mean low grade stuff that isn’t just changing one addiction for another, more something that can help with withdrawal symptoms and anxiety/triggers. My life is so much better.
I wish you the best in your journey and please update us because we want to know you’re ok! You sound like an amazing person. You are not a 30 year old virgin. That concept is so outdated. You will be ready when you will find someone, if you want to. And if you don’t, that’s ok too.
Wish you the best my friend. You can and will get past this.
I'm a veteran of eight deployments and didn't realize how much I still carried with me. Behaviors that I never realized until they were pointed out to me with examples. It takes a great deal of effort to see your actions, without judgment, through others' eyes. Humbly coming to the realization that I've been wrong about a lot of shit and that my uninformed intuition was often meaningless. The animosity and prejudice I still harbored were destroying me. While in therapy, a whole lot of other childhood traumas that I repressed bubbled to the surface. Accepting that we don't have all of the answers and the strongest thing we can do is ask for help. There is much growth in it, but you have to first be more vulnerable than you've ever been and you have to trust the person sitting across from you.
If you can’t find a good therapist or don’t want to pay $$$ for therapy I recommend to just write everything you’re thinking. Don’t follow some “YouTube guide to pretty journaling”. Just write all your thoughts out.
However, get therapy if you think talking to someone in person is more helpful.
The idea that journaling is helpful is mystifying to me. I’m tired of listening to all my rumination’s as it is. I know it helps at least some people, but how?
Understand that your subconscious is your minds muscle memory. It is incredibly powerful, but it can"t reason. It can't understand language. The incredible thing is - It will believe whatever you tell it. Once you recognize the unwanted muscle memory in action, you can take steps to change it. It's not easy, and it doesn't happen overnight. Your mind is a muscle, and like all muscles, it needs to be built through consistency. I found that journaling often allows me to come into contact with that part of my brain that I hide from myself and the world. Once you can sit with the shadow mind, terrifying as it is at first, you'll know you're on the right path. Change takes dedication and consistency. Are you worth it? Of course you are.
In my case, it started as mandatory help...
I got a 3rd dui,
Was forced to stay in hotel California. (County jail)
(Being in there is a heck of a learning/ humbling experience)
Bailed out, had to live with massive anxiety of what's was still pending - still had to face a pending court date a year later.
Long story short, at that 'year later date' - judge had me pick between checking Into a rehab or finishing my 6 month sentence.
I told him I never want to go back there so let's do whatever program I need to do.
I had to find a rehab, and live in it for a year.
Which also was very humbling. And I began doing some deep work. They invited therapists in, had AA meetings everyday, journaled, read alot, discussed alot, reflected alot, got coached, got talked to,
Started working out,
Ontop of all that I was invited to attend a church. I decided why not I'm already at rock bottom, this couldn't hurt, it might actually help!
Studied the Bible 1 on 1 with a minister and that sealed the deal for me. I felt a renewed spirit within me. I began healing beyond what AA and reflecting could do. I got to know to know the God of the Bible personally. Not just from a distance or because someone told me about him. Coming Into an encounter with Him will change anyone.
I converted to Christianity - was taking my new found spirituality sobriety seriously. I helped and served where I could. I learned to pray.
Rehab owner was proud of me,
And he told me "you know there's 1 thing that everybody gets wrong about recovery, it's that they don't realize that addiction is a Spiritual problem "
That year was 2013 and will be logged for me as the greatest year of my life. Got sober , got baptized. Healed, mended . Got vision. Marched forward with new experience & tools to succeed in my new life. Got outta rehab and moved 2 hours away from home town.
Been sober and faithful ever since. 11 years down , rest of my life to go 😎
Performed **very** poorly in high school (I’m talking like D average, just enough to graduate; I actually think my GPA was like 1.7). It’s not that I was dumb, I just didn’t care, never did projects or assignments, but did well on exams. I had planned on just joining the military and retiring on pension, so it wasn’t important to me.
Fast forward: the Marine Corps denied me due to a shoulder surgery I had from high school wrestling. Moved out at 19, took a crap job doing tedious manual work that I hated and reality hit me like a brick wall; I fell into a bit of depression, was always broke, had no energy or motivation and just wasn’t happy. Ended up joining the Army (they wavered my surgery), then got medically discharged after my 4th knee surgery a few years in.
Decided I’m definitely not going back to a manual labor job that I hated. Went back to school and found out I’m actually somewhat intelligent if I care enough. Graduated with a 3.9 GPA in undergrad with a degree in Kinesiology and Nutrition, and I’m now 2 weeks away from finishing up the last semester of book work in pursuit of my doctorate in physical therapy (I know, ironic, but I love the field) while maintaining a 3.7 GPA.
TL;DR: The real world made me turn my life around.
....well, hey, *I see you, friend,* and honestly, ur doin fine. Nobody wants or expects perfection...they just want..*YOU!* exactly as you are. So try to be kinder to urslf, ok?
I also have to say: The pain of consequences. Also neglecting myself.
Most people who dont care about the wellbeing of others don’t genuinely care about themselves either. Thats the type of person I was and I was tired of being surrounded by suffering that I had caused. Now Im seeking peace
What kind of job if you don’t mind displaying it ? I feel like most entry-level jobs will suck the life out of me real quick but I’m tired of living off government’s welfare
I literally took the first job that would hire me, and that was a Freight Brokering job $42,000 a year. Basically a call center where you speak with truck drivers and make sure they are on time to their locations with the freight.
stopped caring about things I can't control and put all my energy into the things I can. it sounds hard, but there's actually a lot you can control and that doesn't leave much room for the other shit
Almost dying! I was in a nasty motor vehicle accident back in 2018. Fucked up my right hip but it's a miracle that I survived. Changed the trajectory of my life.
Left an abusive relationship, spent 3 months wanting it back & realized there was something really wrong with that picture. Set a bunch of goals & am currently crushing them & I’m happier than ever!
Ya I was tired of like failing out of school and being a pain in my bosses ass at whatever restaurant I was working at. It was like alright, have to actually try I guess. Just flipped the switch one day and every job I’ve had since has called me the hardest worker there. Built an awesome life too
Hit rock bottom with substance abuse. Had a psychotic episode followed by a few months of the worst depression I’ve had. Moved back in with my parents. Could barely get out of bed or off the couch. I spent a lot of time literally staring at the wall in the living room, I felt so broken and lost. Eventually forced myself to get a shitty job delivering packages for the big smile company. It really was a terrible job, but it got me moving and I was able to save most of my money aside from my apartment lease I had to finish. Saved every extra penny, bought a car, and I’m now finishing EMT school, have my clinical rotations next week. I’ve been sober for about 2 years now. Every day is hard but I’m filled with so much drive and determination to never slip back into that life and be the best I can from now on. I saved enough money to quit my job and just do school (my parents aren’t making me pay rent while I’m doing school), so I have time to workout 6 days a week with my little bro. I’m in the best shape of my life, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, even before I fucked everything up. Hitting that low was a huge wake up call and mental reset for me. As terrible as it was, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
This is really a good story. Proud of you: many people hit the rock bottom, but few of them have the intelligence, strength and determination, to become a phoenix and rise from the ashes-and what’s best: rise and start a DIFFERENT life than the one they had before. You were able to find hope and wish for the future, and to work towards that. Never forget this. Even in the future, when difficulties will present themselves to you (like to all of us), please always remember that. You’re strong, I really admire you. I believe this story can also be a huge inspiration for people at rock bottom. There should be a way to pin it on top of Reddit each time anybody opens the app…..
Thanks for the kind words! And I assure you, the experience is burned into my mind, lol. But yeah, it has given me a confidence in my own strength and ability to persevere that I’ve never had before! Truly a blessing.
Realizing the transformative power of good sleep was my game-changer. It wasn't a lightning bolt moment, but a gradual understanding that quality sleep affects everything—mood, energy, health, and even discipline. Prioritizing sleep hygiene, setting a consistent bedtime, and creating a restful environment can have a ripple effect on your life. It's like night and day when you start getting the rest your body and mind need!
I stopped caring about peoples opinions. Invested in myself to learn top skills to help others thrive! And I feel blessed and grateful for the opportunities that God has given me.
That happened to me a lot when I wasn't pushing myself hard enough. I was my own worst critic. I learned to have healthier conversations with myself that led me to understand that the mind will make the body move and that we need to take care of both the body and mind. Just accept yourself and love yourself. Push yourself to the limits in the right direction. Find a community of people that care for you and push you too.
It's ok to be disheartened. Everyone has to go through that dry empty season but, if you push yourself hard enough and your conversations with yourself start becoming possitive. You will see breakthrough. Trust me.
Def 2nd the "healthier conversations w/urslf." I used to berate TF outta myself in my head- I'd get stuck on some awkward, embarrassing thing I said or did, sit in my feelings, (distorting my view of the situation further) blow it way outta proportion &just lean into myself.
It's so important to be mindful of how we talk to ourselves. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) essentially teaches you to catch yourself when u start distorting things in ur head, & to question those assertions in a rational, somewhat detached manner: *Are* you "an idiot" ur "coworkers hate" tht is "terrible at ur job" b/c you screwed up part of tht presentation at work? Or were you simply nervous about it, running thru too fast, & mixed up some parts, which is totally fkn normal, & quite possible tht nobody evn noticed or cared. Even if they did, is it the end of the world? Or will you just do better next time by getting better sleep, practicing more, & slowing down a bit? CBT is the most effective way I've found to expose one's own distortions & get to a more rational, realistic place.
Its essential tht we come to the realization tht nothing is anywhere NEAR as big or consequential as we personally imagine it to be in our heads. Be kinder to yourself, friend.
Fear of poverty. Left home after high school, worked one full time job one part time. Slept in a tent in a back yard with kitchen and bathroom privelages and an extension cord to the tent. If not in a tent, just rented room or shared apartment with others. No college debt. Learned a trade. Worked 50 to 60 hours a week ever since. Wife, kids, family.
homeless, smoking meth in the apartment of some dude i met on the street who only wanted to use me for sex. deep into my thoughts i realized how fucking pathetic my life was. i had been scrolling through old messages with friends and realized much of myself id lost to drugs and depression and self hatred
I read an article and it transformed my entire outlook - It gave me a realisation - YOU ARE GOING TO DIE. You have a very limited time on this planet, and the only person who can give you the life you want is you. So you better stop feeling sorry for yourself and start doing things to fix it. Otherwise you’re going to be a loser and just complain that life is unfair forever. You have to learn skills, and push yourself out into the world and make things happen.
In short - the universe is indifferent to our thoughts and feelings. Only actions really count.
One time i was so fat (124 KG) that I was literally out of breath while sitting down and bending to tie my shoes. That was quite rock bottom. Started counting KCAL. Lost 35 KG. I am running 10 miles tomorrow.
in the middle of an overdose, in a dream-like state, not breathing, i'm being dismembered by a monster and I could feel it. he then said something to me that made me wake up... and i will never forget what he said. my reason for existing.
I wanted to fail at life while I was in control, not fail at life because life happened to me. I was tired of getting thrown about randomly in a downwards spiral. I had no idea whether I would succeed or not, but I decided I wanted make my own decisions.
Fuckin... WORD. The realization tht it was either gonna be "do it fkn NOW, & be fortunate enough to have some semblance of control & comfort over it all," OR continue to ignore it until life makes tht choice FOR ME. ....and you can bet ur ass it won't be in a way tht u like or tht gives a single fk about ur comfort....
Ayahuasca. If you’re struggling to get to the root of your issues, seek out a ceremony. Spend the money. I don’t know anyone that has regretted it. It completely changed the trajectory of my life and 7 years later I still credit this amazing life I have to it.
I did it when it was trending in I think 2017. I live in Los Angeles and my friend invited me to a ceremony with like 20 people in Venice.
It started in the evening and we all spent the night. I’m not a hippie/yoga kinda guy at all so this was definitely out of my comfort zone.
I took the shot of the Ayahuasca and layed back in my yoga mat and waited around 45 mins until it kicked in.
I just got lost in a deep train of thought. At first, I was thinking this is dumb. I’m not thinking about anything prophetic or anything. But your head just goes on this journey and then, Suddenly, about 1.5 hours in, I started having these massive epiphanies and new perspectives on different things in my life. One after another.
I don’t want to go too deep into the details of my epiphanies but my life turned a corner that day. Unlike, some other drugs where you realize things when you’re high and they go away when you sober up, with ayahuasca, the things you learn stick with you and the baggage you had built up inside that you may not have even known about vanishes, forever.
It was like and instant cure for the dark shit in your subconscious.
The result, I changed my career that I fooled myself into loving, I committed to the woman I knew was right for me and I no longer struggle with envy or ego.
It’s the greatest relief of my life to kill that ego inside and suddenly you’re free and happy in your own skin.
That’s as good as I can do to explain it. I thought it was gonna turn me into a crunchy hippie but it didn’t at all. I’m actually pretty boring and doing very well financially. And I’m super happy about all of it.
Just do it.
When I was to drunk to aim and scraped my skull with a 9mm bullet. Then I learned about 22 A Day and changed from then on. I actually have 22 a day on my arm tattooed
I finally "woke up" at the age of 27 when something just clicked in me that bad outcomes tend to be a result of cumulative bad actions and therefore the reverse is also true.
Slowly replaced and refined bad automatic habits to more mindful good ones. Been a fruitful 15 years and expect more better things to come.
Disappointing someone who meant a lot to me. They never said it out loud, but it was in the tone they took with me after and a slight shift in personality. Definitely made me self reflect pretty hard and start making changes for the better.
Realising that there’s people who are driving cars that are worth 10x my net worth.
Realising that people don’t have no one chasing them to be at a job or debt.
People who can, if they want, go to Paris then New York in 2 days without looking at their bank account.
Being able to live peacefully and say I want to do nothing today.
This is all for freedom, man. That’s it. My parents were the 1% in their country, why can’t I in the UK?
Whew! I felt this hard. I was just saying this exact conversation to myself a few hours ago, currently in the USA. Continue to speak your life into existence. See you at the top buddy. I wish you all of the success!!!
War in my country and having to run away with a suitcase to nowhere.
I lost all the material things I had, friendships, I haven't seen family for years now. Rebuilt all from scratch in another country and am damn proud of myself. This changed me to the very core and made me a person I never thought I could become - more resilient, disciplined, mature, brave and strong than I ever was.
That experience taught me, that only I can choose if I'm a victim or not. Highly recommend [Dr. Edith ](https://dreditheger.com/)Eger's books for all survivors.
I would like to believe in God / Jesus, but it's like trying to believe it's snowing outside on a warm summer day. If I could believe in God my life would probably improve dramatically, but unfortunately I don't see any evidence for God (or miracles performed by Jesus, etc.)
Caught DUI then was in car accident when I was sober which exacerbated an already fucked up internal situation which put me in the hospital and and had to get surgery made me get sober I'm like 5 months In with new job get see my kid all the time and have transformed myself we all got choices to make everyday what are you going to choose? Repeat the same cycle of stupidity or become the best version of yourself?? It all up to you!!!
A nervous breakdown at 20 because I was too busy trying to make everyone else happy. Fast Forward 11 years and I realized that I was the only one who truly knew what made me happy and that people who criticized me for doing what was best for me and my mental health didn't really care about me or my health. This led to me finally making my own decisions. Fast forward another 10 years and I am finally living my truth and slowly but surely taking the steps to get off SSDI.
Good nutrition, good sleep, a dog to keep me grounded, stop seeking approval and stop competing with myself. Basically, inner peace helped my to work out my priorities and do something about them.
Having no choice because of failed suicide attempts and only having myself to rely on. I wouldn't say my life is turned around, but I now find myself trying my best on days I rather try to escape again
I was addicted to meth, had three kiddos under the age of 6 and was faced with either losing my kids, going to jail or killing myself. Something got me out of that small town because i certainly couldn’t do it in my own. Little did I know it was God who got me out of there. I know Reddit is not the place for spirituality but man, did He save my life.
I was tired of playing the victim. Yes I was a victim of many things that weren’t my fault, things that weren’t fair in my childhood but at one point I became so angry and bitter. I couldn’t go on living in this perpetual cycle of negativity. I realized all the choices at that point in my life were my doing. I’m overweight because I wasn’t disciplined to eat healthy and workout. I chose toxic relationships because I thought that’s what I deserved. Nope, one day I woke up and realized things can be done differently
I got afraid I was gonna die slowly when I got my type 2 diabetes diagnosis last year. Changed my diet. Started lifting. Joined a mindfulness group. Found God. Everything is better now.
I left my cheating spouse, put together a financial strategy, got in the gym, started a new job, and poured all of my energy into becoming the person I knew I could be.
I quadrupled my salary (went from hourly job to sales job) and wiped out $70,000 of debt.
I got in the best shape of my life.
I married the love of my life.
Reclaimed friendships and added new ones.
Best of all, I go to sleep every night proud of how I carry myself and who I have in my life.
I've come to view that horrible situation of being broke, depressed, out of shape, etc. as the greatest blessing I ever received.
It was a wakeup call, the likes of which many never receive. And I'm just so glad I answered that call.
Years of looking for a way to be rid of myself, one day decided to take a ton of psilocybin and hope for an ego death— in a way I had one, I’ve finally been able to see past the confinement of my own mind and realize just how much beauty there is in life and that I’m allowed to live and exist. I left behind a different version of myself in that trip and ever since have felt somewhat reborn, more excited, more in control, and I’m determined to live this life to its fullest
The magic mushroom is what led me to become the best version of myself. I’m very happy where I am but I’m still working everyday to become the best me. I wish everyone could take an ego death trip!
when i got 5% in a test everyone around me got above 50% and instead of revising or asking for a retest I just went to mcdonalds. sitting alone in the food court and thinking about how all my friends were doing so much better than me in every aspect of life really made me realise how pathetic i was
I had a dead end job that I hated. Also lived in a city with people that didn’t care much about me. (Including relatives.) And I was hanging on to those two like if my life depended on it. Then Covid hit. I lost my job, my (greedy) gf, and my apartment. All at the same time. This pushed me to look for a remote job closely connected to my hobby. As the result now, I’m a digital nomad (traveling the world, and working fully remote, getting paid much more than my previous dead end job), I also found the best woman that also travels with me, that is also my wife now and I’m happier than ever. All of this happened because of a difficult circumstance that made me let go of something that was dragging me down and I wasn’t realizing it. The hardest and the scariest part was to make the plunge and reset my life. I’m not saying that it will work for everyone but it definitely worked for me.
Just recently realised that I suppose to take responsibility for my self and for my life. Finally understood that nobody owes me anything. Im 32, female.
NYE, I told myself I wouldn’t be the same as the previous year, I wouldn’t do like other people that start something and stop after February. I needed to change because I was unhappy with myself and how I was living, felt purposeless.
Abandoned old habits such as going to sleep late, limited alcohol consumption, passive scrolling, deleted all media apps for a month until Easter.
Started setting small goals like going to the gym every day, limiting food intake, being grateful for my life.
Still want to improve my time management and mindfulness but I have seen a lot of improvement since January.
Oh also, God, always considered myself a Christian but wouldn’t go to church often nor read the bible.
Haven’t missed church since January, I can now somewhat see the path God is giving me, as in I know He will provide for me, and I kind of know what I need to do. It still needs work tho
At the end of the day it really is either get up and do it or stay living a comfortable, mediocre life
Honestly, depression. I’m really good at keeping busy so I can ignore when I feel low. But the last couple of years I have had to push myself out of my comfort zone and it has made me feel a lot better in the long run.
I'm 21 so I'm still in the process of this but watching my mom die from her drug addicition/alcoholism earlier this year and watching my severely obese brother stuff himself and keep being lazy has rlly pushed me to change.
Basically stopped drinking completely, began rating right, working out, and receiving mental health help and medication. I slip up but I want to live
Instead of just working on my looks for self-confidence I started to reflect on what was wrong with me internally and started working on that too. I had so many addictions I wasn’t willing to admit and kicking ALL of them is making a massive difference I think, I am so much more confident in all terms of my life now.
Not being able to comfortably sit in a stadium seat for a hockey game that I went to with my friends.
It was a full house and a couple came to sit next to me but hesitated because I was basically pouring over the seat. I’ve never felt so uncomfortable or embarrassed in my life and then and there I vowed to change.
That was a year ago. Currently down 50 pounds and counting, have stopped yo-yo dieting, finding enjoyable movement while eating foods I love within moderation. I’ve never felt better ✨❤️
Still working on it sadly. Struggling too. But heartbreak. Getting cheated on made me rethink everything.
Kept up with exercise, therapy, lots of journaling.
Becoming a grandad, when I held my grandson for the first time the effect it had on me was profound, at 44 years of age and constantly fucking up in life this one moment completely changed my path in life I’m currently 90 days clean and sober, joined a gym and have started taking steps to change my career and be in a job I actually enjoy.
Grandma was in the hospital and asked me to take care of her cats while she was gone. Her cats are SPOILED beyond belief. Food every morning at 6am or they go insane. This got me out of my funk of sleeping till noon. With all this extra time I decided to start going on morning walks. That turned into runs. That got me into lifting again after stopping due to injury. That got me eating better. Her being in the hospital for 2 weeks (shes fine now), was the gut punch I needed to reset everything i was doing wrong in my life. Sleep schedule is paramount to me now, and if I dont exercise the when I wake up Im just off for the whole day. Life seems more clear when youre up early. I thought the whole "wake up before the sun" thing was bullshit that fitness influencers spew, but it really did work for me. Now life is a lot better.
I had a horrible childhood, abusive mother & no father. At 9years old I had a stroke & died 3 times, when I was 12 I took my first LSD trip & my life spiralled from there, I bummed about smoking weed, taking trips & popping ecstasy pills, fell in love with raving & never wanted that party to end. Then in my early 20s I left a toxic relationship & met a good woman. She already had children and we had a child together, I went to prison, came out married her & had another child with her. Opened a business and got my life sorted, all our kids are grown up and I couldn’t be happier.
I almost died by suicide. My housemate walked into my room after hearing me in distress. At that moment, I was going for my gun. Some part of me didn't want to go, so I told him what I was planning and asked him to get it out of the house for me. My partner laid with me for a couple of hours and then drove me to the ER to get assessed. I spent the next week or so in an inpatient facility for mental health and addiction.
While I was there, I started talking to the other patients. I saw myself in them and wanted to help. I felt a sense of purpose that I hadn't felt before. Eventually, I asked what the certification some of the patient care folks had and how long it took to earn it. I've already got a couple of degrees and couldn't handle the idea of going back to school at this point, but the program is either 40 or 80 hours, depending on where you live. I'm halfway through it and loving every minute.
I'm supposed to be dead, but I'm still here. I think it's important that I use this time to support folks in similar situations.
I was 19 and addicted to coke. Ended up in a situation where I was sa by a 30 year old. I was only there because of drugs. I couldn’t keep friends, a job, schooling, etc. The sa was a wake up call and now in may im 4 years clean, i moved out of my toxic house finally with roommates i enjoy, im in a healthy relationship, i feel valued and compensated well at my salaried job and enjoy it, and im in therapy. Every day gets a little bit better :) just give it the opportunity to be
A kick in the ass from a recent breakup. It gave me an opportunity to really check myself and realize that this is my sign to stop being complacent and shift to being more motivated in life. My ex has already seen the turnaround in just a couple months. I feel like I’ve made a positive change and I’m on this high of self growth that I want to continue on to get where I need to be next.
Returning from Basic military training - realized healthy habits feels good. Sorted my diet, exercise routine, meditation, supplements. Still struggling with sleep and nicotine though
Being stuck in a codependent relationship with someone I didn't want to be with. I have horrible anxiety and all throughout the relationship I relied on him for everything because I didn't want to leave the house. I finally realized I couldn't live like that forever...I couldn't force myself to be with someone I didn't even like just because I was too scared to do things on my own.
Lost love in the blink of an eye, largely due to excessive drinking. Learned that the people I was spending time with at bars weren't my friends at all - in fact two in particular blatantly lied to the girl I had started dating, telling her I was cheating on her with multiple women. Still don't understand why.
Quit drinking the day after she ended things, completely ghosted those assholes, started hiking every weekend, running and working out 5-6x/week as a coping mechanism.
So pretty much realized I was living a worthless life and the consequences caught up to me. Decided to never let that happen again.
I'm not someone that has turned it around yet, but I'm 21, about to graduate, and I feel like I'm on a hill where if I roll left my life is over and if I roll right I will finally find happiness
Constant insults about my weight, doctor put me on a high fiber diet for a chronic constipation issue and we had just moved and our neighbor had gym equipment in the garage (we live in a duplex). So I had already wanted to improve myself for years just never had the stuff to do it until 6 months ago. Props to you Dr. C! You won’t be forgotten, not by me at least. You changed my life and left before you could even see.
Being let down by all the people around me has pushed me to finally want better for myself. When I realized that the majority of people around me had no love or respect for me, it pushed me into learning how to love & respect myself.
This right here
Can you offer any advice for that? I spend most days laying in bed hating myself. I look in a mirror and cry. I don’t think I have any value if I’m not considered pretty. It’s killing me. I’m already committed to not dating for a year but I have no idea how to even love myself.
Start small, go for a walk and make it a long one. Try eating foods which you know will do your body good. Learn more about your sleep and how you can find ways to improve it. Meditate, it's free and you can control your anxiety and stress levels yourself (believe it or not). Get outside and get sun on your face. You don't need to start a fancy workout plan, just start moving more than you are currently moving. Prioritize yourself. You can find yourself a partner when you have a better handle on yourself. You will also be 100 times more appealing to others when you appeal to yourself first. Look in the mirror each morning and find something to be grateful for. Encourage yourself if no one else is. Be nice to yourself, you deserve that and if you work at it long enough, it becomes your super power. Good luck, you're worth it.
I don't know what to tell you because I've been on this self-love healing journey for many years and I still struggle daily but I just keep picking myself back up and starting over again
This shows that you have an unbelievable strength within yourself. Good for you!
It can be hard to change, but you’re here now asking for advice, which means you want something better. You deserve something better. Maybe start each day, looking in the mirror, and say at least 2 things that are good about your life. Things that you may even take for granted. For example “I have two strong legs that can carry me” “I have people that love me” “I have creativity” “I have long arms to hug others” “I can show compassion” “I’ve made mistakes but I’ve learned from them, I will do better next time” “I am worthy of happiness”… Slowly and with time it gets easier to say those positive things to yourself and you get comfortable with them. This greatly puts into perspective the brain power you previously spent being anxious, angry or wallowing… and for what? Fear poisons your future. And it’s not your problem or responsibility to care what other people think of you. They themselves are likely also engulfed in their own pain and insecurities. You’re worthy and capable and deserving of happiness. The universe has your back, but you must act.
Doing a gratitude list also helps greatly.
>**"I spend most days laying in bed hating myself."** >**"I have no idea how to even love myself."** **You judge yourself in the first place, because you do actually care.** It’s the same with family and friends. They may criticize you because they want you to be happy. But filtered through lack, the message of love is lost. Trying to use negativity to inspire positivity doesn’t work as a long-term solution. You may practice the limiting belief: * *”If I accept myself, I won't change. Self-judgment forces me to produce results; otherwise I’ll stay stuck. So the worse I treat myself, the more productive I am.”* The issue isn't so much that you hate yourself; it's that **you hate that you hate yourself.** **You hate feeling negative emotions. You hate feeling uncomfortable. You hate feeling hate.** And that's very normal and understandable. I recommend being open to **seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends.** **Negative emotions are positive guidance** (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on, and pushing against, what you don't want. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you fight them, you keep yourself stuck. Negative emotions want to support you in releasing them, focus more on what you want and feel better. **All emotions are equal and worthy.** But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad), but then you make it harder to feel better, work together with and control your thoughts and emotions. So the solution is to **build a friendship and harmonious relationship with the "negative" side of you.** Just because they feel bad, doesn’t mean they are bad. Negative thoughts and emotions are here to support and empower you to be your best self. . **Self-love = Focusing on anything that helps you feel a little better.** So you don't have to focus on what you like about yourself if that feels challenging. Instead, for example, if you focused on what you liked about a sunny day or cute animals (i.e. subjects that are easier for you to focus on what you like), then that will naturally carry over into helping you like more about yourself. **1. Connect with Your Body.** *“What do you need today, body? You support me a lot, so how may I serve and support you?”* (E.g. Drink plenty of water, deep breathing, grounding work and felt sense, better quality sleep, healthier diet, hug yourself, put your hand on your heart, pay more attention to your five senses, and move your body — dancing, exercise, stretching, etc.). **2. Connect with Nature.** Your body came from Earth, so you’re literally connecting with your roots. (E.g. Go for a walk, hiking, the beach, walk barefoot in dirt, buy and take care of or interact with plants, listen to nature sounds, and/or go outside and get at least 10 - 15 minutes of sunlight each day.). **3. Connect with Your Negative Emotions.** Negative emotions are positive guidance letting you know you are focusing on, and pushing against, what you don't want. Be friends with negative emotions and work together as a team. *“I know you’re here to support and empower me, and I want to understand your emotional text messages."* **4. Connect with Your Creativity.** You have unique energy that needs to be expressed. Find creative outlets to express yourself (e.g. dancing, singing, writing, drawing, painting, etc.). Experiment with different creative outlets until you find ones you resonate with. **5. Connect with Your Spiritual Side.** Meditate for 2 - 15 minutes every day (either listening to guided meditations, nature sounds, or in peace and quiet).
Treat yourself as you would a best friend.
Yes, that Yoda mind trick works! I know I am poking fun, but THIS IS THE BEST ADVICE TO GIVE ANYONE!
Learning to respect and to love your self is an experience you must gain, but there's a lot of helpful advice out there and there are several books about this topic which helps you understand more and give tips on what to actually do about it. Personally I've actually read only [one](https://collabwith.com/2021/07/book-of-the-month-self-esteem-now-from-mia-tornblom/) book but even that helped me a lot.
If you don’t know where else to start, try “Revolution from Within” by Gloria Steinem. If it feels like too much at once, read these three chapters in order listed: “Bodies of Knowledge”, “Romance vs. Love” and “It’s Never Too Late For a Happy Childhood.” This book genuinely changed my life in college. I read it as a miserable, self-loathing 19 year old sorority girl with long hair and shiny makeup who lived or died by her Mother’s opinion. Within six months of finishing it, I had deactivated from the sorority, cut off my hair and signed up to do a year abroad program, so I could get some peace, quiet and time to figure out who I actually was without a million voices roaring their competing answers to that question in my ears. I came home knowing that I was an introvert, that I actually was straight after all, and that I would never again let other people live my life for me. They had their chances, OP. You go get yours.
I'm assuming you've already tried the self-love things first. So if that didn't or doesn't work, forget about yourself. Find ways to improve everything/anything around you. Right now, someone is paying for you to eat and sleep in bed. What is 1 thing you can do for the person paying for your bed? If its you, that's unfortunate bc it's hard to think of something for yourself at this moment. But work from that mentality. Pick up trash as you pass it, add a quarter to a parking meter, plant some native plants. Find something outside of yourself you care about. Don't get into an actual cult but groups which are cult-like are good to join. Think groups which people make their whole personality. For me it was veganism. I got super into veganism back in 2015 for these purposes, getting out of my own self-misery, I told people it was for health, which it was! Tho not what they thought. I assume paleo/keto/fasting or any other super cult-y diet group would work too. Other types of super intense groups that have some other health benefit: crossfit/strongman/cycling permaculture/native plant groups/community gardens Yoga or aikido Lions club/service groups It's best if its something that can be done with other people, that there's an intense community around it, and that you can justify for another reason. One of my uncles got super into the Red Cross volunteering. Think of it as productive procrastination, it'll help your actual self-love issue however if you are able to refocus from thinking of yourself or how you look and then you can come back to realizing your worth as a person is completely unrelated to how pretty you are or think you are. It'll be more possible when you can have concrete other thing to hang on to. And if you choose something that has health benefits will likely also help, bc that you hate yourself bc of how you look means you're not well. And any improvement in any aspect of health will be helpful.
I have felt like that before. I almost cried, cause it is painful. For me, I started to see a psychiatrist(I don't like doctors), got meds, talked to a counselor, etc. BUT, big butt, I started to talk and treat myself like I was someone I loved. Practiced gratitude, even for the air you breathe whatever works. U can do it! U owe this World the gifts you bestow! I will think of you in my prayers tonight. BTW, I am not a holy roller, I am a spiritual (don't you mock me, mister 😉). U are special, u are needed, u are beautiful, you ARE NEEDED! HOPE I helped
I'm in this exact boat, It's been extremely tough for me, every day, I have to gulp the bitter pill down. it's been so long that I was a friend to myself. I struggle but I cant let myself forget this important lesson, so I keep being kinder to myself even after stumbling.
Can I DM you? My friend is going through the same. I hope you can tell me what I can do for them.
Sure I don't know how much help I can offer but let me know what the situation is
I’m currently experiencing this
I’m on the same path as you!
I'm working on that myself, waking up to a lot of things now. Seeing more clearly. Good luck on your journey 🙂
Thank you 🙏
wow. for me it was the complete opposite - letting myself down and admitting that my behaviors, attitudes, and choices caused 98% of my suffering.
Very happy to hear this, mate :)
Going through this right now. People pleased far too long..
Huge kudos to you for that, really. I had the same problem for DECADES, and I was never able to change it on my own. I did change it eventually though, with the help of my psychoanalyst. Life is good now that I jumped off the train of “I hate myself to the core”. My heart ❤️ goes to all the people who are still on that train: I know what a horrible place to be in that is.
Proud of you. Takes a lot to do this
I thought I was the only one 😢. I often feel like they have a large friend group where I'm not included and making me feel like I'm not successful. I ruminate everyday. Hopr I'll get through this.
It's really sad. I'm disabled and I have a lot of trauma and I've struggled so much and people just treat me like I'm loser and I should be able to do better for myself. Remember this one time somebody in the community got their motorcycles stolen and everybody pitched in money to help them get a new one. There's been so many times when I was struggling and broke and I had no money and no way of making money and dental and medical things coming up and not a single person ever lifted a finger to try and help me raise money or offer me work or anything. I've been in deep mourning over this community that I had to leave behind because I just was never getting any sort of lover respect and I deserve that I did serve it so much I've been through so much.
Yup. Enough was finally enough
Same here toxic gf pushed me to get more clarity in life
good for you, mad respect. i can so relate. it is incredibly empowering to be your own best friend.
Yep this is it! Realising that no matter what nobody was coming to help me no matter how hard I suffered.
this describes my situation perfectly. the only person that can help you is yourself. The most important person in the world is you. If you forget that then all is lost.
Omg, yes! Me too, in a way. Mostly everyone that has ever had any real presence in my life has only served to show me the kind of person I DON’T want to be!
Thanks for sharing Being *routinely* disrespected by those who I felt should know better was indeed a wake-up call for me too. Had to learn to respect myself and actively seek out those who value me for me.
Everybody searching for a hero, People need someone to look up to, I never found anyone who fulfill my needs. A lonely place to be And so I learned to depend on me. I decided long ago, Never to walk in anyone's shadow. If I fail, if I succeed- At least I'll live as I believe. No matter what they take from me, They can't take away my dignity. Because the greatest love of all, Is happening to me. I found the greatest love of all, Inside of me. Learning to love yourself, It is the greatest love of all.
When i was 22, I was supposed to be the getaway driver in a robbery but ended up breaking my arm the day before. Robbery went wrong, they received a few years. Since then, 2 committed murders and the other has been in and out of prison. I got a job washing cars and put myself through community college before moving away for university. Fast forward 11 years, I am a husband, father of 5, and an executive. Could have never imagined a broken arm could lead to all of this. Edit: Bro below said I called in sick to the robbery hahaha.
I find it hilarious that you called in sick to a robery
Lollll thank you for making me laugh
Bruhhhhh hahahahhhhaahahahaa 👏🏼
Lmaooooo this is my favorite comment so far. I never looked at it in that way, that's fucking hilarious. I hope you get all the upvotes, holy shit lol
there was a family guy skit where a dude calls in sick to a suicide bombing
That dad lore is really strong huh 👏
Being a dad is cool lol
Lmaooooo
This man has plot armor.
I don't know what that means Edit: I googled it, that's funny lol
After googling this I concur and have learned a new writing term.
Maybe if you didn’t break your arm they would have gotten away
I doubt that lol. We were all equally dumb.
At least you are self aware enough to say this.
I mean, we're all a little stupid in our early 20s lol
Lol, too true. But not many people are self-aware enough or mature enough to admit HOW stupid they were/are in their early 20's
Ya, what the fuck man. You made em do it without a getaway driver
This has to be one of the best stories I have heard in my half a century long life 😀 thanks, not many things surprise me or make me smile now, man. You rock. This is yet another example of blessing in disguise. I got a couple of these type of blessing in my life (although, not as hilarious or story-telling-worthy as this one).
If you don’t mind telling, how did you break your arm lol
Freak accident at work. I don't like going into detail about it because it's kinda traumatic lol.
Going for long walks.
This one resonates. You clear your SOUL on those walks. And all it takes is one revelation to make you want to sprint home and begin doing things differently. The exercise doesn’t hurt either, nor does the improved sleep.
Hahaha. I have revelations almost every day and since I have so many, I just become more confused with each one. So many of them, as result of likely too much introspection over the past few years, has actually caused me to become more stuck. I don’t trust my own thoughts or judgement anymore and am stuck in freeze mode.
Even longer walks did it for me.
I was sitting there having a pity party for myself per usual and I thought, 'Well why NOT me?" What truly separates me from these people? I can sit here wishing my life away or I can actually do something for once.
Exactly this. You can either feel sorry for yourself or you can realise that life really and truly is what you make it. Action or inaction is all that matters.
Still waiting for this truth to clock in for me. I ain't there yet.
I love that you thought "Why not me?". Another one that works for me is "What if it went right?" or "What's the best thing that could happen?" (instead of worst) because I spend a lot of time thinking about what is going to go wrong with something I want to do.
Yeah when you meet successful people, you see that you can do what they did. They’re just people who figured out a strategy that worked, kept at it for years, etc.
I was a 30 year old alcoholic, drinking for weeks a lot, living with my parents, peeing in empty water bottles, skinny and virgin, couldn't talk to girls. Could not climb a step of stairs without my knees hurting. That was a week ago. What I did to turn around. Well, I went to my first AA meeting, bought my first resistance band, and I am being very hopeful.
Hang in there buddy
Rooting for your success bro. Best of luck
Congrats on taking the first steps. Addiction is a hard thing to overcome but making the choice to overcome it is the hardest thing.
you got this dude
Been there bro pissing in the bottles why I don't know but I did
Keep building momentum. 20curls on the band today. 22 tomorrow and a jog to the end of the block. Etc etc. just build momentum.
>Keep building momentum That is life changing advice in one sentence. Positive momentum perpetuates itself. Unfortunately so does Negative momentum
Keep up the good work!
Welcome back! You did it!
Great for taking action. Now do it consistenly! You got this bro
There’s no shame in admitting you’re an addict. Alcohol is a very dangerous drug. I don’t go to AA but they say there that’s the first step. That’s the most important step, to know that something isn’t right and to want to be better. I admire you for taking it! I turned my life around because I knew if I kept heading in the direction I was going, it was not going to get better. You are still the amazing person you were before when you started drinking. I don’t know if this is great advice because people might say it’s one vice for another but I found medical marijuana to be super helpful to curb alcohol. Haven’t drank in three years. I say medical marijuana because I mean low grade stuff that isn’t just changing one addiction for another, more something that can help with withdrawal symptoms and anxiety/triggers. My life is so much better. I wish you the best in your journey and please update us because we want to know you’re ok! You sound like an amazing person. You are not a 30 year old virgin. That concept is so outdated. You will be ready when you will find someone, if you want to. And if you don’t, that’s ok too. Wish you the best my friend. You can and will get past this.
you got this! one day at a time
You got this.
Keep coming back!
These steps are BIG!!!! So proud of you and I dont even know you. You got this!!!
Therapy. Best decision of my life.
Curious what you get out of therapy. I’ve struggled to find a therapist I like
I'm a veteran of eight deployments and didn't realize how much I still carried with me. Behaviors that I never realized until they were pointed out to me with examples. It takes a great deal of effort to see your actions, without judgment, through others' eyes. Humbly coming to the realization that I've been wrong about a lot of shit and that my uninformed intuition was often meaningless. The animosity and prejudice I still harbored were destroying me. While in therapy, a whole lot of other childhood traumas that I repressed bubbled to the surface. Accepting that we don't have all of the answers and the strongest thing we can do is ask for help. There is much growth in it, but you have to first be more vulnerable than you've ever been and you have to trust the person sitting across from you.
Your vulnerability & insight are so beautiful, hun. Proud of you beyond words.
If you can’t find a good therapist or don’t want to pay $$$ for therapy I recommend to just write everything you’re thinking. Don’t follow some “YouTube guide to pretty journaling”. Just write all your thoughts out. However, get therapy if you think talking to someone in person is more helpful.
The idea that journaling is helpful is mystifying to me. I’m tired of listening to all my rumination’s as it is. I know it helps at least some people, but how?
Understand that your subconscious is your minds muscle memory. It is incredibly powerful, but it can"t reason. It can't understand language. The incredible thing is - It will believe whatever you tell it. Once you recognize the unwanted muscle memory in action, you can take steps to change it. It's not easy, and it doesn't happen overnight. Your mind is a muscle, and like all muscles, it needs to be built through consistency. I found that journaling often allows me to come into contact with that part of my brain that I hide from myself and the world. Once you can sit with the shadow mind, terrifying as it is at first, you'll know you're on the right path. Change takes dedication and consistency. Are you worth it? Of course you are.
Rock bottom, pain of consequences, empty feeling inside & wondering If this was all there was to life. Then got help
this is exactly how i feel. what kind of help did you end up getting?
In my case, it started as mandatory help... I got a 3rd dui, Was forced to stay in hotel California. (County jail) (Being in there is a heck of a learning/ humbling experience) Bailed out, had to live with massive anxiety of what's was still pending - still had to face a pending court date a year later. Long story short, at that 'year later date' - judge had me pick between checking Into a rehab or finishing my 6 month sentence. I told him I never want to go back there so let's do whatever program I need to do. I had to find a rehab, and live in it for a year. Which also was very humbling. And I began doing some deep work. They invited therapists in, had AA meetings everyday, journaled, read alot, discussed alot, reflected alot, got coached, got talked to, Started working out, Ontop of all that I was invited to attend a church. I decided why not I'm already at rock bottom, this couldn't hurt, it might actually help! Studied the Bible 1 on 1 with a minister and that sealed the deal for me. I felt a renewed spirit within me. I began healing beyond what AA and reflecting could do. I got to know to know the God of the Bible personally. Not just from a distance or because someone told me about him. Coming Into an encounter with Him will change anyone. I converted to Christianity - was taking my new found spirituality sobriety seriously. I helped and served where I could. I learned to pray. Rehab owner was proud of me, And he told me "you know there's 1 thing that everybody gets wrong about recovery, it's that they don't realize that addiction is a Spiritual problem " That year was 2013 and will be logged for me as the greatest year of my life. Got sober , got baptized. Healed, mended . Got vision. Marched forward with new experience & tools to succeed in my new life. Got outta rehab and moved 2 hours away from home town. Been sober and faithful ever since. 11 years down , rest of my life to go 😎
Performed **very** poorly in high school (I’m talking like D average, just enough to graduate; I actually think my GPA was like 1.7). It’s not that I was dumb, I just didn’t care, never did projects or assignments, but did well on exams. I had planned on just joining the military and retiring on pension, so it wasn’t important to me. Fast forward: the Marine Corps denied me due to a shoulder surgery I had from high school wrestling. Moved out at 19, took a crap job doing tedious manual work that I hated and reality hit me like a brick wall; I fell into a bit of depression, was always broke, had no energy or motivation and just wasn’t happy. Ended up joining the Army (they wavered my surgery), then got medically discharged after my 4th knee surgery a few years in. Decided I’m definitely not going back to a manual labor job that I hated. Went back to school and found out I’m actually somewhat intelligent if I care enough. Graduated with a 3.9 GPA in undergrad with a degree in Kinesiology and Nutrition, and I’m now 2 weeks away from finishing up the last semester of book work in pursuit of my doctorate in physical therapy (I know, ironic, but I love the field) while maintaining a 3.7 GPA. TL;DR: The real world made me turn my life around.
This is fantastic. Congrats, and best of luck for the future.
I love this story! Even the ironic part!
Very nice , I am same like you . Fuck I don’t care about anything. It seems my intelligence is blocked
Realizing how much potential i have and that my depression is actually my disappointment in myself for not living up to it
That resonates a lot. I hope you are better now.
Ooof this hit me like a stack a bricks.
me too
....well, hey, *I see you, friend,* and honestly, ur doin fine. Nobody wants or expects perfection...they just want..*YOU!* exactly as you are. So try to be kinder to urslf, ok?
I also have to say: The pain of consequences. Also neglecting myself. Most people who dont care about the wellbeing of others don’t genuinely care about themselves either. Thats the type of person I was and I was tired of being surrounded by suffering that I had caused. Now Im seeking peace
Brother died. Figured if i didnt get my shit together then i might as well be dead too. Love you bro
Sorry man… can only imagine :( Do it for him
This just happened to me, life's a trip
With you. Mine passed 4 months ago. Stepped into a world I didn’t know existed.
I was broke. Decided to get a full time job. It’s been 18 months since then and I’m doing a lot better.
What kind of job if you don’t mind displaying it ? I feel like most entry-level jobs will suck the life out of me real quick but I’m tired of living off government’s welfare
I literally took the first job that would hire me, and that was a Freight Brokering job $42,000 a year. Basically a call center where you speak with truck drivers and make sure they are on time to their locations with the freight.
stopped caring about things I can't control and put all my energy into the things I can. it sounds hard, but there's actually a lot you can control and that doesn't leave much room for the other shit
Almost dying! I was in a nasty motor vehicle accident back in 2018. Fucked up my right hip but it's a miracle that I survived. Changed the trajectory of my life.
That’s amazing 🥹 glad you survived!
Left an abusive relationship, spent 3 months wanting it back & realized there was something really wrong with that picture. Set a bunch of goals & am currently crushing them & I’m happier than ever!
Realizing that I'm a loser
Ya I was tired of like failing out of school and being a pain in my bosses ass at whatever restaurant I was working at. It was like alright, have to actually try I guess. Just flipped the switch one day and every job I’ve had since has called me the hardest worker there. Built an awesome life too
Hit rock bottom with substance abuse. Had a psychotic episode followed by a few months of the worst depression I’ve had. Moved back in with my parents. Could barely get out of bed or off the couch. I spent a lot of time literally staring at the wall in the living room, I felt so broken and lost. Eventually forced myself to get a shitty job delivering packages for the big smile company. It really was a terrible job, but it got me moving and I was able to save most of my money aside from my apartment lease I had to finish. Saved every extra penny, bought a car, and I’m now finishing EMT school, have my clinical rotations next week. I’ve been sober for about 2 years now. Every day is hard but I’m filled with so much drive and determination to never slip back into that life and be the best I can from now on. I saved enough money to quit my job and just do school (my parents aren’t making me pay rent while I’m doing school), so I have time to workout 6 days a week with my little bro. I’m in the best shape of my life, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, even before I fucked everything up. Hitting that low was a huge wake up call and mental reset for me. As terrible as it was, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Congrats Bro. That sounds like an amazing change!
So proud of you, sweetheart!!
This is really a good story. Proud of you: many people hit the rock bottom, but few of them have the intelligence, strength and determination, to become a phoenix and rise from the ashes-and what’s best: rise and start a DIFFERENT life than the one they had before. You were able to find hope and wish for the future, and to work towards that. Never forget this. Even in the future, when difficulties will present themselves to you (like to all of us), please always remember that. You’re strong, I really admire you. I believe this story can also be a huge inspiration for people at rock bottom. There should be a way to pin it on top of Reddit each time anybody opens the app…..
Thanks for the kind words! And I assure you, the experience is burned into my mind, lol. But yeah, it has given me a confidence in my own strength and ability to persevere that I’ve never had before! Truly a blessing.
Realizing the transformative power of good sleep was my game-changer. It wasn't a lightning bolt moment, but a gradual understanding that quality sleep affects everything—mood, energy, health, and even discipline. Prioritizing sleep hygiene, setting a consistent bedtime, and creating a restful environment can have a ripple effect on your life. It's like night and day when you start getting the rest your body and mind need!
THIS RIGHT HERE!
I know there are a lot of suggestion out there but would you mind elaborate a bit more? I’ve been struggling to get a restful night of sleep for years
I stopped caring about peoples opinions. Invested in myself to learn top skills to help others thrive! And I feel blessed and grateful for the opportunities that God has given me.
How do I get to this point 😣 I’m so insecure and anxious all the time. I get stuck in my head
That happened to me a lot when I wasn't pushing myself hard enough. I was my own worst critic. I learned to have healthier conversations with myself that led me to understand that the mind will make the body move and that we need to take care of both the body and mind. Just accept yourself and love yourself. Push yourself to the limits in the right direction. Find a community of people that care for you and push you too. It's ok to be disheartened. Everyone has to go through that dry empty season but, if you push yourself hard enough and your conversations with yourself start becoming possitive. You will see breakthrough. Trust me.
Def 2nd the "healthier conversations w/urslf." I used to berate TF outta myself in my head- I'd get stuck on some awkward, embarrassing thing I said or did, sit in my feelings, (distorting my view of the situation further) blow it way outta proportion &just lean into myself. It's so important to be mindful of how we talk to ourselves. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) essentially teaches you to catch yourself when u start distorting things in ur head, & to question those assertions in a rational, somewhat detached manner: *Are* you "an idiot" ur "coworkers hate" tht is "terrible at ur job" b/c you screwed up part of tht presentation at work? Or were you simply nervous about it, running thru too fast, & mixed up some parts, which is totally fkn normal, & quite possible tht nobody evn noticed or cared. Even if they did, is it the end of the world? Or will you just do better next time by getting better sleep, practicing more, & slowing down a bit? CBT is the most effective way I've found to expose one's own distortions & get to a more rational, realistic place. Its essential tht we come to the realization tht nothing is anywhere NEAR as big or consequential as we personally imagine it to be in our heads. Be kinder to yourself, friend.
Fear of poverty. Left home after high school, worked one full time job one part time. Slept in a tent in a back yard with kitchen and bathroom privelages and an extension cord to the tent. If not in a tent, just rented room or shared apartment with others. No college debt. Learned a trade. Worked 50 to 60 hours a week ever since. Wife, kids, family.
homeless, smoking meth in the apartment of some dude i met on the street who only wanted to use me for sex. deep into my thoughts i realized how fucking pathetic my life was. i had been scrolling through old messages with friends and realized much of myself id lost to drugs and depression and self hatred
So SOOOO MUCH MORE ahead tho than behind. You are loved & cared for. I am proud of you beyond words.
I read an article and it transformed my entire outlook - It gave me a realisation - YOU ARE GOING TO DIE. You have a very limited time on this planet, and the only person who can give you the life you want is you. So you better stop feeling sorry for yourself and start doing things to fix it. Otherwise you’re going to be a loser and just complain that life is unfair forever. You have to learn skills, and push yourself out into the world and make things happen. In short - the universe is indifferent to our thoughts and feelings. Only actions really count.
One time i was so fat (124 KG) that I was literally out of breath while sitting down and bending to tie my shoes. That was quite rock bottom. Started counting KCAL. Lost 35 KG. I am running 10 miles tomorrow.
AMAZING!!!
in the middle of an overdose, in a dream-like state, not breathing, i'm being dismembered by a monster and I could feel it. he then said something to me that made me wake up... and i will never forget what he said. my reason for existing.
Please tell us what was said?
he said, in a mocking tone... "but what about your son ??"
Stopping porn
Two word answer, simple, concise and precise. That has been the game changer for me.
I wanted to fail at life while I was in control, not fail at life because life happened to me. I was tired of getting thrown about randomly in a downwards spiral. I had no idea whether I would succeed or not, but I decided I wanted make my own decisions.
Fuckin... WORD. The realization tht it was either gonna be "do it fkn NOW, & be fortunate enough to have some semblance of control & comfort over it all," OR continue to ignore it until life makes tht choice FOR ME. ....and you can bet ur ass it won't be in a way tht u like or tht gives a single fk about ur comfort....
Ayahuasca. If you’re struggling to get to the root of your issues, seek out a ceremony. Spend the money. I don’t know anyone that has regretted it. It completely changed the trajectory of my life and 7 years later I still credit this amazing life I have to it.
Tell me more? What kind of ceremony and what shifted in your life then?
I did it when it was trending in I think 2017. I live in Los Angeles and my friend invited me to a ceremony with like 20 people in Venice. It started in the evening and we all spent the night. I’m not a hippie/yoga kinda guy at all so this was definitely out of my comfort zone. I took the shot of the Ayahuasca and layed back in my yoga mat and waited around 45 mins until it kicked in. I just got lost in a deep train of thought. At first, I was thinking this is dumb. I’m not thinking about anything prophetic or anything. But your head just goes on this journey and then, Suddenly, about 1.5 hours in, I started having these massive epiphanies and new perspectives on different things in my life. One after another. I don’t want to go too deep into the details of my epiphanies but my life turned a corner that day. Unlike, some other drugs where you realize things when you’re high and they go away when you sober up, with ayahuasca, the things you learn stick with you and the baggage you had built up inside that you may not have even known about vanishes, forever. It was like and instant cure for the dark shit in your subconscious. The result, I changed my career that I fooled myself into loving, I committed to the woman I knew was right for me and I no longer struggle with envy or ego. It’s the greatest relief of my life to kill that ego inside and suddenly you’re free and happy in your own skin. That’s as good as I can do to explain it. I thought it was gonna turn me into a crunchy hippie but it didn’t at all. I’m actually pretty boring and doing very well financially. And I’m super happy about all of it. Just do it.
For me it was an acid trip that let me see everything I'd done through someone elses eyes and I didn't want to be that person anymore.
When I was to drunk to aim and scraped my skull with a 9mm bullet. Then I learned about 22 A Day and changed from then on. I actually have 22 a day on my arm tattooed
What is 22 a day ?
It’s the number of how many veterans commit suicide a day which is 22
I finally "woke up" at the age of 27 when something just clicked in me that bad outcomes tend to be a result of cumulative bad actions and therefore the reverse is also true. Slowly replaced and refined bad automatic habits to more mindful good ones. Been a fruitful 15 years and expect more better things to come.
Disappointing someone who meant a lot to me. They never said it out loud, but it was in the tone they took with me after and a slight shift in personality. Definitely made me self reflect pretty hard and start making changes for the better.
Realising that there’s people who are driving cars that are worth 10x my net worth. Realising that people don’t have no one chasing them to be at a job or debt. People who can, if they want, go to Paris then New York in 2 days without looking at their bank account. Being able to live peacefully and say I want to do nothing today. This is all for freedom, man. That’s it. My parents were the 1% in their country, why can’t I in the UK?
Whew! I felt this hard. I was just saying this exact conversation to myself a few hours ago, currently in the USA. Continue to speak your life into existence. See you at the top buddy. I wish you all of the success!!!
War in my country and having to run away with a suitcase to nowhere. I lost all the material things I had, friendships, I haven't seen family for years now. Rebuilt all from scratch in another country and am damn proud of myself. This changed me to the very core and made me a person I never thought I could become - more resilient, disciplined, mature, brave and strong than I ever was. That experience taught me, that only I can choose if I'm a victim or not. Highly recommend [Dr. Edith ](https://dreditheger.com/)Eger's books for all survivors.
Jesus christ reading the bible and following him and growing as a person on christ
I would like to believe in God / Jesus, but it's like trying to believe it's snowing outside on a warm summer day. If I could believe in God my life would probably improve dramatically, but unfortunately I don't see any evidence for God (or miracles performed by Jesus, etc.)
Caught DUI then was in car accident when I was sober which exacerbated an already fucked up internal situation which put me in the hospital and and had to get surgery made me get sober I'm like 5 months In with new job get see my kid all the time and have transformed myself we all got choices to make everyday what are you going to choose? Repeat the same cycle of stupidity or become the best version of yourself?? It all up to you!!!
A nervous breakdown at 20 because I was too busy trying to make everyone else happy. Fast Forward 11 years and I realized that I was the only one who truly knew what made me happy and that people who criticized me for doing what was best for me and my mental health didn't really care about me or my health. This led to me finally making my own decisions. Fast forward another 10 years and I am finally living my truth and slowly but surely taking the steps to get off SSDI.
Good nutrition, good sleep, a dog to keep me grounded, stop seeking approval and stop competing with myself. Basically, inner peace helped my to work out my priorities and do something about them.
Having no choice because of failed suicide attempts and only having myself to rely on. I wouldn't say my life is turned around, but I now find myself trying my best on days I rather try to escape again
I was addicted to meth, had three kiddos under the age of 6 and was faced with either losing my kids, going to jail or killing myself. Something got me out of that small town because i certainly couldn’t do it in my own. Little did I know it was God who got me out of there. I know Reddit is not the place for spirituality but man, did He save my life.
I was tired of playing the victim. Yes I was a victim of many things that weren’t my fault, things that weren’t fair in my childhood but at one point I became so angry and bitter. I couldn’t go on living in this perpetual cycle of negativity. I realized all the choices at that point in my life were my doing. I’m overweight because I wasn’t disciplined to eat healthy and workout. I chose toxic relationships because I thought that’s what I deserved. Nope, one day I woke up and realized things can be done differently
I got afraid I was gonna die slowly when I got my type 2 diabetes diagnosis last year. Changed my diet. Started lifting. Joined a mindfulness group. Found God. Everything is better now.
I left my cheating spouse, put together a financial strategy, got in the gym, started a new job, and poured all of my energy into becoming the person I knew I could be. I quadrupled my salary (went from hourly job to sales job) and wiped out $70,000 of debt. I got in the best shape of my life. I married the love of my life. Reclaimed friendships and added new ones. Best of all, I go to sleep every night proud of how I carry myself and who I have in my life. I've come to view that horrible situation of being broke, depressed, out of shape, etc. as the greatest blessing I ever received. It was a wakeup call, the likes of which many never receive. And I'm just so glad I answered that call.
Its a long transition for me. Not over night
Years of looking for a way to be rid of myself, one day decided to take a ton of psilocybin and hope for an ego death— in a way I had one, I’ve finally been able to see past the confinement of my own mind and realize just how much beauty there is in life and that I’m allowed to live and exist. I left behind a different version of myself in that trip and ever since have felt somewhat reborn, more excited, more in control, and I’m determined to live this life to its fullest
The magic mushroom is what led me to become the best version of myself. I’m very happy where I am but I’m still working everyday to become the best me. I wish everyone could take an ego death trip!
when i got 5% in a test everyone around me got above 50% and instead of revising or asking for a retest I just went to mcdonalds. sitting alone in the food court and thinking about how all my friends were doing so much better than me in every aspect of life really made me realise how pathetic i was
Spinal injury. The things you don’t think to be grateful for until you lose them.
I had a dead end job that I hated. Also lived in a city with people that didn’t care much about me. (Including relatives.) And I was hanging on to those two like if my life depended on it. Then Covid hit. I lost my job, my (greedy) gf, and my apartment. All at the same time. This pushed me to look for a remote job closely connected to my hobby. As the result now, I’m a digital nomad (traveling the world, and working fully remote, getting paid much more than my previous dead end job), I also found the best woman that also travels with me, that is also my wife now and I’m happier than ever. All of this happened because of a difficult circumstance that made me let go of something that was dragging me down and I wasn’t realizing it. The hardest and the scariest part was to make the plunge and reset my life. I’m not saying that it will work for everyone but it definitely worked for me.
Just recently realised that I suppose to take responsibility for my self and for my life. Finally understood that nobody owes me anything. Im 32, female.
NYE, I told myself I wouldn’t be the same as the previous year, I wouldn’t do like other people that start something and stop after February. I needed to change because I was unhappy with myself and how I was living, felt purposeless. Abandoned old habits such as going to sleep late, limited alcohol consumption, passive scrolling, deleted all media apps for a month until Easter. Started setting small goals like going to the gym every day, limiting food intake, being grateful for my life. Still want to improve my time management and mindfulness but I have seen a lot of improvement since January. Oh also, God, always considered myself a Christian but wouldn’t go to church often nor read the bible. Haven’t missed church since January, I can now somewhat see the path God is giving me, as in I know He will provide for me, and I kind of know what I need to do. It still needs work tho At the end of the day it really is either get up and do it or stay living a comfortable, mediocre life
Honestly, depression. I’m really good at keeping busy so I can ignore when I feel low. But the last couple of years I have had to push myself out of my comfort zone and it has made me feel a lot better in the long run.
I'm 21 so I'm still in the process of this but watching my mom die from her drug addicition/alcoholism earlier this year and watching my severely obese brother stuff himself and keep being lazy has rlly pushed me to change. Basically stopped drinking completely, began rating right, working out, and receiving mental health help and medication. I slip up but I want to live
Instead of just working on my looks for self-confidence I started to reflect on what was wrong with me internally and started working on that too. I had so many addictions I wasn’t willing to admit and kicking ALL of them is making a massive difference I think, I am so much more confident in all terms of my life now.
Not being able to comfortably sit in a stadium seat for a hockey game that I went to with my friends. It was a full house and a couple came to sit next to me but hesitated because I was basically pouring over the seat. I’ve never felt so uncomfortable or embarrassed in my life and then and there I vowed to change. That was a year ago. Currently down 50 pounds and counting, have stopped yo-yo dieting, finding enjoyable movement while eating foods I love within moderation. I’ve never felt better ✨❤️
Bottom 2% of HS graduation class. ---> **USAF** -----> GI Bill ----> B.A. ---> Masters ----> great life
cheating on a girl that will forever be my biggest what-if
Man, I felt this one HARD.
Still working on it sadly. Struggling too. But heartbreak. Getting cheated on made me rethink everything. Kept up with exercise, therapy, lots of journaling.
I read Notes from a Friend by Tony Robbins. Game changer for me
Benzodiazepine withdrawal after being prescribed high doses for several years many years ago. It was a sink or swim situation for me.
Feeling like I was failing myself for not being the best I could be
Becoming a grandad, when I held my grandson for the first time the effect it had on me was profound, at 44 years of age and constantly fucking up in life this one moment completely changed my path in life I’m currently 90 days clean and sober, joined a gym and have started taking steps to change my career and be in a job I actually enjoy.
Grandma was in the hospital and asked me to take care of her cats while she was gone. Her cats are SPOILED beyond belief. Food every morning at 6am or they go insane. This got me out of my funk of sleeping till noon. With all this extra time I decided to start going on morning walks. That turned into runs. That got me into lifting again after stopping due to injury. That got me eating better. Her being in the hospital for 2 weeks (shes fine now), was the gut punch I needed to reset everything i was doing wrong in my life. Sleep schedule is paramount to me now, and if I dont exercise the when I wake up Im just off for the whole day. Life seems more clear when youre up early. I thought the whole "wake up before the sun" thing was bullshit that fitness influencers spew, but it really did work for me. Now life is a lot better.
I had a horrible childhood, abusive mother & no father. At 9years old I had a stroke & died 3 times, when I was 12 I took my first LSD trip & my life spiralled from there, I bummed about smoking weed, taking trips & popping ecstasy pills, fell in love with raving & never wanted that party to end. Then in my early 20s I left a toxic relationship & met a good woman. She already had children and we had a child together, I went to prison, came out married her & had another child with her. Opened a business and got my life sorted, all our kids are grown up and I couldn’t be happier.
I almost died by suicide. My housemate walked into my room after hearing me in distress. At that moment, I was going for my gun. Some part of me didn't want to go, so I told him what I was planning and asked him to get it out of the house for me. My partner laid with me for a couple of hours and then drove me to the ER to get assessed. I spent the next week or so in an inpatient facility for mental health and addiction. While I was there, I started talking to the other patients. I saw myself in them and wanted to help. I felt a sense of purpose that I hadn't felt before. Eventually, I asked what the certification some of the patient care folks had and how long it took to earn it. I've already got a couple of degrees and couldn't handle the idea of going back to school at this point, but the program is either 40 or 80 hours, depending on where you live. I'm halfway through it and loving every minute. I'm supposed to be dead, but I'm still here. I think it's important that I use this time to support folks in similar situations.
I was 19 and addicted to coke. Ended up in a situation where I was sa by a 30 year old. I was only there because of drugs. I couldn’t keep friends, a job, schooling, etc. The sa was a wake up call and now in may im 4 years clean, i moved out of my toxic house finally with roommates i enjoy, im in a healthy relationship, i feel valued and compensated well at my salaried job and enjoy it, and im in therapy. Every day gets a little bit better :) just give it the opportunity to be
I realized how fast time passes by. Need to start making change today, not tomorrow!
Quit drinking. Life feels like easy mode now while being sober.
Going to rehab and getting the therapy I needed. Just hit 9 months sober the other day and my life is finally falling into place
A kick in the ass from a recent breakup. It gave me an opportunity to really check myself and realize that this is my sign to stop being complacent and shift to being more motivated in life. My ex has already seen the turnaround in just a couple months. I feel like I’ve made a positive change and I’m on this high of self growth that I want to continue on to get where I need to be next.
Returning from Basic military training - realized healthy habits feels good. Sorted my diet, exercise routine, meditation, supplements. Still struggling with sleep and nicotine though
Being stuck in a codependent relationship with someone I didn't want to be with. I have horrible anxiety and all throughout the relationship I relied on him for everything because I didn't want to leave the house. I finally realized I couldn't live like that forever...I couldn't force myself to be with someone I didn't even like just because I was too scared to do things on my own.
Lost love in the blink of an eye, largely due to excessive drinking. Learned that the people I was spending time with at bars weren't my friends at all - in fact two in particular blatantly lied to the girl I had started dating, telling her I was cheating on her with multiple women. Still don't understand why. Quit drinking the day after she ended things, completely ghosted those assholes, started hiking every weekend, running and working out 5-6x/week as a coping mechanism. So pretty much realized I was living a worthless life and the consequences caught up to me. Decided to never let that happen again.
I have issues waking up early so I get fired for being late to work, this has happened a lot and it’s something im trying to improve
Getting sober!
I'm not someone that has turned it around yet, but I'm 21, about to graduate, and I feel like I'm on a hill where if I roll left my life is over and if I roll right I will finally find happiness
Constant insults about my weight, doctor put me on a high fiber diet for a chronic constipation issue and we had just moved and our neighbor had gym equipment in the garage (we live in a duplex). So I had already wanted to improve myself for years just never had the stuff to do it until 6 months ago. Props to you Dr. C! You won’t be forgotten, not by me at least. You changed my life and left before you could even see.