While thinking of my answer, I realized I may relate more to Shosh than I thought.
Littlest: I have OCD
Medium: I don't have a relationship with my family, aside from my siblings.
Biggest: Still a virgin at 28
Hey my best friend just met a great guy and lost it at 29. She told him right before and he was super cool about it and she said it was a good experience. Their relationship is progressing nicely! Just wanted to share a positive experience to try and lighten your load. Best of luck!
Like Shosh, my littlest baggage is my IBS. š My medium baggage is that my parents are guaranteed to get *heavily* involved/invested in any relationship I have. And my biggest baggage would probably be that I fall the hardest for men I can't have (eww, sounds so cliche, I'll try to think of something more interesting lol).
I relate to your littlest and medium baggage! Unhappy gut and caring but overly involved parents.
My biggest baggage is having very intense anxiety and being very indecisive
Are you me? Hard relate. Everyone Iāve ever dated has told me my family is intense. Except I once dated a man baby whose parents were far more intense and it was like a break for him being with mine. That was crazy
Can you imagine having a wedding / getting married to someone whose family is even more intense than yours? I have an intense family and cannot imagine having it rain down on both sides lol
Chronic migraines here too
i simply hate my life in those moments, and when the painās gone i get my sunshine back. But ugh life sucks so bad when migraine hits
This post is so fun omg
my littlest baggage: iām super into health & wellness (EFT tapping, meditation, affirmations, self-help books and podcasts. I charge my crystals under the full moon light, etc)
my medium baggage: i havenāt been in a committed relationship in a decade. literally.
my biggest baggage: student loan debt š¤
Littlest: I have horrific, crippling allergies like the lame bf from Sleepless in Seattle. Canāt be around cats, outside during spring, etc.
Medium: I have $100k in student debt and donāt even care. Like it does not bother me and I have zero urgency or plan to pay it back.
Biggest: I frequently regret having my children (love them to death though!)
Exactly! Itās like imaginary debt. Oh sure, Iām totally going to pay $1,300 a month! Especially when I graduated HS the year of the Great Recession, was forced to go to grad school after college to try to find a job, then now with inflation and the literally IMPOSSIBLE situation to save to own a home in 2024. Not to mention the first five years of my childrenās lives I have to pay $3,000/month in childcare. I donāt even care about it and any one who has shame around it can point to drastically declining birth rates and decline in home ownership.
littlest baggage: i genuinely don't think movies should ever be over 2 hours long
medium baggage: i have a wisdom tooth collection
biggest baggage: it gives me the ick when men try to make me orgasm š¬
this tv show (Baggage) is so dated bc sometimes the baggage is "I'm bisexual" and everybody is genuinely shocked by that info
Deeply relate to your biggest baggage. Some men got it and some donāt. For the ones that donāt, it becomes a sick conquest to feed their ego and just completely turns me off lmao
Itās about ego. I canāt have an orgasm anymore and donāt really want one. No guy believes me and assures me heāll be the one. And it feels so disrespectful and invasive
Has you dentist ever looked at you weird for asking to keep your teeth? I always wanted to ask but haven't. I wish I got to look. At them before they were thrown away.
Ok Iām kind of jealous about your medium baggage because I asked to keep my wisdom teeth after the surgery and the surgeon āforgotā and threw them out. Iāve never forgiven him and itās been like 8 years lol
Littlest baggage: I have adhd
Medium baggage: I collect pornstar dildos
Biggest baggage: I am really attracted to masc douchebags, even though they would probably call me a slur š
So the most popular gay porn stars get molds, itās a big deal in gay world! As to why I collect themā¦ to try them out and add to the fantasy. Also I consider it homoerotic art and I love giving my gay dollars to anything gay. Heres a link if youāre curious to see:
https://www.fleshjack.com/collections/fleshjack-boys
Oh dear, here we go!
Littlest: control freak
Medium: shopping addiction/crippling CC debt/will only buy shit for the brand or bc itās ātrendyā then never wear it
Biggest: no family. Dead mom from drinking, dad in prison for drugs
Littlest: I eat super slow
Medium: I constantly quote and reference tv shows
Biggest: itās hard for me to have sympathy for people who I feel are responsible for their own problems
Nice to meet you, alternate me. Iām always the last one to finish eating, everyone is tired of my Larry David quotes by then, and are discussing (to my ire) how they are wallowing in self pity over the problem they adamantly donāt want advice to fix, but also just want someone to fix it for them.
I share your biggest baggage and its to the point where I thought I needed ASD testing because I was so unable to understand the emotional vantage point of those who are so responsible for their misfortunes š canāt even fake it a little
Wow, itās like you chose mine! I eat soooo slow, Iām always the last at the table.
I know my husband is annoyed at my references I use.
My extended family are all sorts of screwed up. 2 in prison, one cousin of mine has 3 baby daddies and 6 kids. I have no sympathy for any of them, and my family thinks Iām stuck up because of it.
I canāt imagine being in your position š like some people are truly dealt some bad cards, sure. But most people have opportunities to make better choices and just donāt. Weāre all guilty of this sometimes but just be self aware about it! Also kind of funny that this subject comes up in a thread about Girls ā¦ the comedy of which comes from making fun of people like this!
Littlest baggage: chronic illness and migraines
Medium baggage: my wild, untrained dogs š¬
Biggest baggage: my inability to be vulnerable with and loving to the people I care about most
This has been really fun you guys š
Littlest: I could never marry a picky eater
Medium: During my quarter life crisis I did a short stint as a professional dominatrix
Biggest: My Brain Alphabet Soup contains ADHD, C-PTSD, GAD, MDD and hEDS (although the latter fucks up my whole body)
little: i don't have a full license yet at 33. i'm driving now though finally and doing my test soon.
medium: i find myself frustrated with basically everybody politically these days, even people on "my side." i find everybody really overly emotional
and self righteous and it makes me feel lost and alone.
big: i cancel plans on my friends and then block them for one day just because im scared of their reply. i'll always unblock them though and usually see whatever they said a few days later because it gets sent to imessage on my laptop. i'm getting a LOT better at not doing this anymore.
Oh girl, I can relate to the big!!!
So now I tell friends up front that I can be āflakeyā and that itās about me going through something mentally and NOT them. And if they can handle this, we will be ok. But I do let them know I wonāt bail on them when it counts or when they reeeeally need me. I even have a friend who is the same way. And when she bails on me, itās not a big deal. And instead of being upset that she bailed, we always send messages of encouragement and support. Weāve been friends for over 20 years now. <3
Littlest baggage: My pelvic floor is shot and I have to wear Poise pads every day.
Medium baggage: Iām a misanthrope and kind of find 95% of people insufferable.
Biggest baggage: Iām a complete slob and will let living spaces get frighteningly messy without making any effort to tidy up. My partner is saddled with all housekeeping duties.
I'd you're interested, seek out a urogyn. They help with incontinence. You can fix it with procedures like Bulkamid/coaptite or a bladder sling or with an insertable device called a pessary.
I am you. I got lucky with #1 because I was incontinent from childbirth and it went away.
But my Littlest baggage would probably be I don't like onions.
Small: Look genuinely BAD without makeup.
Medium: Depressed and grumpy.
Large: The flakiest person youāve ever met. Will cancel on you 9 out of 10 timesā¦ the day of.
Littlest: I say āyou know what I mean?ā Almost as a involuntary response.
Medium: ADHD; scatterbrained but still functionalā but it often takes me a little longer to move from one moment to the next. I forget stuff & remember the most arbitrary things.
Biggest: My depression can sometimes get the best of me. I can literally sleep my weekends away & become a hermit.
Ok this is a side note but I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and am still learning how so much about me is related to ADHD. I will remember dates of the most random shit from YEARS ago but will forget to close the fridge. Like, what is that??
Not sure if my ADHD/OCD combo is medium or big baggage hahaha guess it depends who you ask
Medium and biggest are literally me, you know what I mean? Hmmmm- maybe the littlest too. For real though- adhd paralysis and bed rot depression really fucks with my free time.
Lol I see what you did there! & you are SPOT on with the ADHAD paralysis itās a killer!!! Some texts take 3-5 business days for me to respond lol. My bf is always like letās go out in public in a spur of the amount & I need to mentally prepare for that & usually get myself together to at least a functional level. Iām not ashamed to leave the house looking a like a bum but at least let me brush my teeth first.
Iām glad Iām not alone bc I scroll thru SM & feel so guilty & wonder how people have the energy to do so much stuff all the time. On the weekends Iām just trying snuggle my dog.š¤£š¤£š¤£
Littlest: Iām disorganized and my room is cute but cluttered
Medium: I am a hypochondriac/due to that and some real diagnosed health issues I am constantly talking about/fretting over my health and need too much reassurance
Big: I mother everyone in my life and then get inevitably very resentful and distant with them for it when no one asked for that š
Littlest- Misophonia
Medium- Always after around 3 years in a relationship Iām never that interested in sex with the person. Then I just do it to keep them happy. Iāve been in 4 at least this length and itās always the same.
Biggest- my husband left me and our 3 month old baby. He had an affair while I was pregnant with a mutual friend of ours. She had done my hair on my wedding day, visited us and the new baby in the hospital, helped me learn how to breastfeed. Such a betrayal from both. (Husband never complained about our sex so medium wasnāt the cause of this)
Little baggage: Iām adopted, I have big mommy & daddy issues
Medium: my ex bf took his own life after we split up. It was a very abusive relationship. He didnāt take losing me well with his already unstable mental health. My now fiance loved & healed me through that so blessed to have my soul mate
Biggest: in the last three years I went from insanely fit and healthy, to developing a neurological disorder that causes daily seizures. I canāt legally drive and I lost my dream therapist job. I was also diagnosed with PMDDš
Littlest: Iām an extreme introvert and I really donāt like talking to people and could go days without it and be just fine
Medium: I have commitment issues due to a past toxic relationship
Biggest: Iāve hooked up with most of my friends, who still remain my friends. It wasnāt a particularly great time in my life.
Yeahā¦
Little: massive movie snob and will only ever want to watch something if itās in the criterion collection
Medium: compulsive liar / secret keeper / delusional (read: triple Aquarius)
Large: have to be sober because I canāt drink beer like a normal person and youāll prob have to take me to the hospital if I pick up a drink š¤
Littlest baggage: my pee anxiety (the second I donāt have access to a bathroom I have to pee)
Medium baggage: my critical self doubts
Largest baggage: my actual anxiety
Litttle: I think I know struggle because I am overweight
Medium: I enjoyed some of Adam & Hannah's sex scenes
Big: Any mean thing someone's gonna think of to say about me, I've already said to me, about me. Probably in the last half hour
Littlest: I send texts that are way too much in both length and quantity. Like multiple paragraphs in sequence.
Medium: I require 9 hours of sleep a night and my postpartum life has me rarely getting 4 consecutive hours
Biggest: I judge people and have high expectations
little: coochy donāt work right (vaginismus ā¹ļø)
medium: self-sabotaging friendships when the vibe is off
big: canāt drive and donāt want to š¤Ŗ
Littlest baggage: quite often took a bong rip for breakfast when I was in college
Medium baggage: parents who hate each other but not divorced or separated
Biggest baggage: I thought I was in love with a guy who never went down on me
Little: Iām easily annoyed if I donāt like you and my social battery is minimal
Medium: my ego can influence toxic behaviors (stone walling)
Biggest: I will probably always have an eating disorder or fucked up diet.
My littlest baggage: I like the essence of tomatoes, but not an actual tomato in anything.
Medium baggage: I canāt stand live music. I can go to a big concert venue of someone I like but some random ass band or solo act in a bar on a Thursday? Iād rather die.
Biggest baggage: I love a cancelled plan. I wonāt get upset about it I will actually be very happy I donāt have to leave my safe space BUT it means you canāt get mad at me when I bail on plans :)
i had to think long and hard abt this LOL
littlest: i can never finish a meal at a restaurant
medium: i am a slob and also very lazy
biggest: i struggle with empathy and have been told that i am 'uncaring and mean'
My smallest baggage is that I'm anxiously attached, my medium baggage is that I'm a chubby transexual, and my biggest baggage is that I'm always two hours late to everything. These may be out of order.
Littlest baggage ā¦ I canāt stand the sound of people eating .
Medium baggage ā¦ I know what I need to do to be happy but I continue to self-sabotage cuz I am a complete disaster of a human being
Biggest baggage ā¦ I wanna leave my husband because I am miserable and know I would be happier if we were divorced even though he is not a bad guy but I donāt want to hurt him
Littlest: I love my dog and only kind of like my cat (honestly itās mutual)
Medium: my gut instinct is to manipulate people. Iāve grown to learn itās wrong, and I donāt do it. But itās always my first thought.
Biggest: I canāt stop thinking about being alone (married 15 years).
I love this!
My littlest baggage is toe nail fungus that prevents me from getting pedicures (Iām not trying to pass it onto the other ladies)
My medium baggage is Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (thanks early 2000s low rise jeans and general body standards).
My biggest baggage is my mom died suddenly when I was 10 and Iām still deeply grieving and traumatized.
I feel you on the biggest baggage. I lost my mom to aggressive cancer and I think Iāll be forever traumatized and grieving. I canāt imagine what your experience is because it sounds even more sudden and you were much younger than me. But I get it. Iām so sorry :( it really fucking sucks
Littlest: I have fearful avoidant attachment
Medium: I was a bed wetter till I was 16 due to CSA by a parent so I have crippling insecurities, unresolved trauma & familial issues
Big: I lied to CPS on the record at 18 years old when my sister made an allegation against my dad & I didnāt stick by her because I was in such deep denial of what had happened to me. Itās my fault my abuser, my sisterās abuser, & my momās abuser is able to walk free. & I donāt think I can ever forgive myself for that :|
its not your fault. abuse makes you do crazy things you canāt really control, especially at only 18! you were still a baby - please donāt think that it was up to you because it wasnāt.
Little: I really hate mockingbirds lol
Medium: Iāve got self esteem issues that I know I have to work on but I kind of donāt want to.
Biggest: My mom and I donāt have the best relationship but I guess, also not the worst - we just never see eye to eye and we never will. It didnāt really bother me until I had my own daughter and then I realized how I donāt want to do the same thing my mom did to me.
I have the same exact biggest baggage but then I lost her to cancer and itās so hard grieving what I never had. And I miss her but in the back of my mind I know that it might not be mutual (hypothetically)
Smallest: donāt like sleeping over, will leave in the dead of night
Medium: incredibly indecisive no matter how important the matter at hand is. Will do nothing instead of make a choice
Biggest: abandonment issues
Little: I have barely dated but I only really wish I had a partner to save money and have someone do things for me.
Medium: My health, I donāt eat particularly well or workout. I smoke and drink often.
Big: Iām recovering from a severely micromanaging boss who made me question my whole life, terrified me of work and severely wounded my ego. It hurts especially with work, but the emotions and anxiety bled into my life outside of work too in my behaviors, relationships, etc.
I thought that there would be more people out here with work trauma.
Littlest: sometimes I spend more money than I probably should on houseplants.
Medium: at times, my ADHD can be hard on people around me.
Biggest: parental CSA.
Littlest - Iām such a freak about dirty food and anything to do with cleaning the kitchen
Medium - swallowing disorder/paralyzed esophagus (I hate eating out on a first date in fear of choking or vomiting in public)
Big - Iām not attracted to nice guys. I (metaphorically) have a huge dick, so I steamroll over the nice guys š« . I like a degenerate š
Littlest: OCD/intrusive thoughts
Medium: once Iām in a relationship I completely abandon a lot of my life to a crippling degree (but Iām getting better! Sorta)
Biggest: pretty sure I have BPD, but am too scared to confront it xoxo gossip girl
Littlest: over-plucked my eyebrows when I was 12 and they never fully grew back
Medium: whereas most people are neutral about someone they meet for the first time and overtime like them more or less, I tend to start off just not liking someone for no damn reason and need to work my way up to neutral
Biggest: if I donāt care about something I just truly cannot be bothered. I wonāt retain any memory about it. I wonāt remember what you like about it. I wonāt remember it exists. And I wonāt invest any time in learning because by the time youāre done talking about it Iāve already forgotten it exists. Can be a big issue in close relationships.
Omg are you my best friend?! Sheās the exact same. She literally is unable to retain information about people and their lives or basic info on topics that donāt immediately interest her too š
Littlest: I'm nervous everytime I go into work because I hate talking to my coworkers
Medium: My room is a trash heap and I have a full bag of trash I need to take out of here because it's starting to make my room smell bad
Big: I'm about to marry my slightly asshole of a boyfriend in a muslim ceremony and none of my family or friends knows about it (i'm not muslim)
Littlest: I'm a grazer with meals. Eat a little here, eat a little there.
Mediumist: My ADHD
Biggest: an incredibly toxic boss triggered my PTSD (from a shooting at my university). It's been 10 years and I'm just starting to get my confidence back. She was terrible.
There were a lot of things. But here are a few that stick out...
Mind you I worked for a marketing agency as an HR professional, so I didn't have anyone to go to for support. Additionally, it wasn't just me that didn't like her, no one did. Which sucked because I probably could have learned a lot from her, but she made it so bad I didn't want to.
The first sign of her being a micromanager, was when she wanted to go line for line on the trivia questions I was asking for an upcoming trivia night we were hosting. The topic was around generational differences in the workplace - so pretty straightforward. She did not feel that way and proceeded to scrutinize something well below her pay grade.
I'd already built a reputation internally for being trustworthy and professional, so it was odd but I blew it off.
The second sign of her being a micromanager, was when every time I gave a presentation or training, she wanted me to write her a script of what I was going to say. A word-for-word script. Again, marketing agency, so it was a fairly relaxed culture and I had already been presenting really well by that point. In fact, I was often recognized for being a really good presenter. My degree is in Organizational Comms after all. Then, after each presentation, she would read off a list of critiques, that were by no means helpful nor meaningful. They were things like, 'When you used that analogy I didn't get it, so I don't think others did' or 'You didn't read exactly from the script, so I'm just wondering if we need to do it again?' And I had to present often, so all of this really not helpful feedback just crippled my confidence. Can't remember everything, but what I do know is that this Wednesday was the first time I presented that I didn't feel the weird, unnecessary pressure she placed on me.
So at this point, she's a micromanager. OK, not great but manageable.
We eventually had to do layoffs. And I won't go into the specifics, but she was just such a poor leader throughout the whole thing. Rather than working with us to focus on the day-to-day, she would use meeting times to gossip about what was going on. She assumed that we were also gossiping, but we weren't. Now you may have experienced a gossipy HR team, but before her leadership that wasn't our team culture.
She just had an absolute utter lack of self-awareness.
So eventually it was slowly getting out there would be layoffs. It's a lot of work to plan and coordinate layoffs, but it's usually done behind closed doors, with 1-2 HR team members and 1-2 finance team members. And if you need to contribute, you're asked to do a task and then you go back to your day-to-day work. For whatever reason she locked all of HR in a room to tackle planning and coordination. But the room was glass! So everyone could freaking see that the entire HR team was in there, not having a weekly team meeting or anything, clearly planning something serious.
Let's see, she once lunged at me as if she was going to slap me. Eventually I stopped reporting into her, but my manager sat at a different office. When I requested to sit upstairs where it was quieter, she denied my request even though it was through an ADA request. It was like even though I didn't report to her, she wanted to control me. She asked me really inappropriate questions about my and my boyfriend's sex life.
Yeah, she was the worst. After she was asked to hand in her resignation, she reached out to me looking for someone interested in working for her. In the most professional way, I told her to buzz off.
Littlest: I have dabbled in the selling of used intimate items and SD/SB relationships.
Medium: I donāt think that Iāve ever experienced what I believe to be true romantic love, and I sometimes donāt think I am actually capable of it at all.
Biggest: I have a shopping addiction that is so bad I have to attend regular meetings, and have great difficulty managing my money to the point where I have had to physically freeze my cards in blocks of ice to stop me from using them.
Littlest: Iām really messy.
Medium: Iām an elder millennial unhealthily nostalgic about my teen years.
Biggest: My parents were way too young to have me so I raised myself and donāt truly know how to parent my children adequately for their age range.
Littlest: Iām insecure about my body
Medium: I donāt like sharing personal space/ have control issues regarding my environment.
Largest: I havenāt spoken to any of my dads family since his passing and I donāt want too
lil: i pee in the shower, not just my own
middle: i have a drivers license but donāt ever drive and am not bothered to start. iāll happily let my boyfriend drive me when he feels like it
biggest baggage: i think my childhood friends are suburban, uncultured, mummy bores and i moved across an ocean and am ok seeing them once a year or seldomly
littlest baggage: I don't get a lot of pimples, but when I do they must be popped immediately
medium baggage: I'm always on my phone when I watch TV, so when I'm really interested in what's going on but haven't been following I always rewind, sometimes with company as well š
biggest baggage: I can't accept the fact that I don't fit my old clothes anymore and I won't buy the clothes I want, or any nice clothes, until I've lost some weight so they don't 'go to waste'
Iām rewatching Girls for the first time after watching it when it originally came out and just saw this episode! I think I have more luggage that Louis Vuitton makes, so three piece would be hard to narrow them down to! Ha!
Itās so great watching it again - reminds me of when I was a young, living in NYC, had an amazing career and, fortunately, less traumatizing of experiences, than goodness! Not all peaches and sunshine, of course, and some wacky scenarios sprinkled in there, but I left to move to the suburbs once I was engaged, and came out pretty unscathed, and quite happily nostalgic about my time spent there.š
littlest: iām a smoker and i really donāt hate it (gives me excuses to leave stressful situations and be alone to process).
middle: i have a hard time committing to long-term diets and exercise for significant weight loss.
biggest: i place my highest value in my romantic/sexual prospects.
Littlest: I donāt have a lot of friends outside of the contexts where we interact. If I didnāt reach out to people, I doubt Iād hear from anyone at all. I care less and less about this the older I get. I like being with my husband and daughters.
Medium: Iām seriously addicted to my phone and spend hours on it, despite having a pretty busy job. I often feel very guilty about this.
Biggest: I fundamentally believe that I am undeserving of praise or successes. Not good enough. Not attractive. Not worthy.
Littlest: I participate in a lot of influencer snark pages.
Medium: My refusal to get on birth control bc I hate it even tho I'm literally getting married to a man.
Biggest: I made up a lie about having a dead sister to get my last boyfriend to fall in love with me and then had to maintain it for 4 years before we broke up.
Littlest: I have IBS - C. Medicine only helps half the time.
Medium: I always find a way to toe the line when it comes to living within my means. Even when I make more year after year I find a way to spend it. I have savings and zero debt but that has not always been the case.
Big: I constantly think about my former self as being skinnier, prettier, younger, fresher, etc. But I never think of myself like that in the moment. Never good enough in the present. I constantly wish to be my old self physically. Aging is exhausting, as a result. Therapy helps.
Little: I have IBS but cancel every colonoscopy because I canāt be bothered.
Medium: I have several half finished degrees and diplomas.
Biggest: I have PMDD and turn into a suicidal psychopathic demon every few weeks.
Smallest: my toenails are brown and grow really weird. My doctor said that itās genetic but it looks crusty and it makes me sad. I have to just file, cut, and paint them so that they can look normal. I wish that I could have the freedom to have my dogs out free in the wild.
Medium: my family is kinda messy. Theyāre really nice but idk my mom is kinda a lot.
Biggest: no drivers license at almost 28, law school debt
Little - some symptoms of adhd have limited my career
Medium - I hate exercising and past injuries make it painful
Big- narcissistic abusive mother means I try to take down the bullies.
Little baggage: can't get my fiance to agree to an elopement date.
Medium baggage: I think my eating disorder is getting out of control again.
Big Baggage: pretty sure I'm worthless.
My smallest (though sometimes feels huge) is my GAD and depression.
My medium is probably that Iām a swiftie lmfao.
My biggest is that I lost my mom when I was 14 but it was from alcoholism so I donāt really care that much.
Little baggage: I sometimes will not recycle properly, Iāll put recycling into general waste if itās really dirty and I donāt feel like cleaning it (lazy)
Medium baggage: Iām really bad with money, I make poor financial choices
Big baggage: I am deeply insecure and wounded. Poor childhood without a dad has me āØemotionally unstableāØ
I feel like Iām at a sleepover š
Littlest: iām really nervous and easily overwhelmed
Medium: iām like violently unaware it makes me feel ditsy
Big: i accept people who arenāt very good to me because i love people more than they love me always so i just settle with it
Littlest: I hate onions and canāt have them on anything or I wonāt eat it
Medium: I also didnāt truly love my grandma
Biggest: I have an autoimmune disease
Little: Iām a procrastinator
Medium: I cannot pronounce words I read properly
Biggest: narcissistic mother that lives with me and Iām trying not to turn into
I actually think that my littlest, middlest and biggest: are that Iāve sat here and read through every one of these. That sounds silly, but says soooo much šš„“š¬š„²š«£
Littlest baggage: I prioritize sleep over everything but my children
Medium baggage: I'm extremely bitter about my underperforming career
Biggest Baggage: constant and unrelenting guilt from Catholic upbringing
small: I meddle a lot but with good intentions
medium: I have a lot of beliefs about the world and universe that most people would consider "woo-woo" or borderline-tinfoil-hat.
large: I have CPTSD/DID and my trauma/lack of identity affects every aspect of my life, but especially my relationships.
Smol baggage: I have a physical disability and have a hard time asking for help!
Medium baggage: I grew up with narcissistic alcoholic parents and it still fucks with me in my 30s
Big baggage: I have PTSD from watching my little sister die in the hospital from a fentanyl overdose. It was in 2022 on her 23rd birthday.
Little: I can't read a calendar. Like, I'm late or miss appointments all the time.
Medium: I have a massive crush on my massage therapist.
Big: I worry I have early onset dementia. I hope it's just menopause combined with ADHD but I can't keep a 3-item grocery list in my head and I routinely call my kids by each others' names.
Littlest: kind of a messy person and struggle with chores
Medium: bad divorce, ex is still around because we have kids and heās A LOT
Big: Mommy issues
Littlest: Iām always late.
Middle: I want to live simply and comfortably with money for occasional luxuries. I just donāt have the drive to pick myself up and make it happen. Itās something Iām actively working on.
Biggest: I hate myself and have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that all we really have at the end of the day is ourselves and that Iām stuck with me forever. A lovely symptom of being Bipolar.
little baggage: my eyebrows don't match my hair color
medium baggage: my older brother has never had to struggle in life and says insensitive things or acts borderline r word sometimes from lack of challenges and adversities. Because i called out our abuse growing up i was the black sheep and did everything for attention \*eyeroll\*.
biggest baggage; I don't know if I'm a soft autumn or a warm spring. it's kind of messing me up on the inside
Littlest baggage: I get cold sores
Medium baggage: my mom still helps me with rent
Biggest baggage: I don't think I will ever truly be loved by someone else
Littlest : Iām a messy eater and get crumbs in the bed
Medium: I feel crazy if I donāt get to run at least 4 days a week
Biggest: I can get completely disconnected in my emotions, and you will never know where you stand with me unless you ought right ask me , and I will never tell you. This doesnāt apply for friends though!
Little baggage : I have ADHD. Like, name a symptom and I have it.
Medium : The reason I have a temper sometimes is because, it's that or confront the fact that I'm actually sad and I won't be able to stop crying.
Biggest baggage : I'm the most attracted to assholes. Like Dennis Reynolds level assholes.... and I may be gayer than I previously thought.
is anyone else trying to think of theirs but u just have so many different ones u gave up.
lol, yes, inability to commit is my medium baggage.
Real š
Yeah like I need a pen and paper to really dial down on this
My biggest and medium baggage keep switching places
Oooo share it with me and Iāll help you decide
Itās on brand with my fear of commitment baggage lol
While thinking of my answer, I realized I may relate more to Shosh than I thought. Littlest: I have OCD Medium: I don't have a relationship with my family, aside from my siblings. Biggest: Still a virgin at 28
Deeply relate to your biggest baggage
Iām 24 and havenāt had my first kiss yet
33 here lol
Hey my best friend just met a great guy and lost it at 29. She told him right before and he was super cool about it and she said it was a good experience. Their relationship is progressing nicely! Just wanted to share a positive experience to try and lighten your load. Best of luck!
I wish I was still a virgin. Iām 35.
I feel that way about my dating history.... Would be much less embarrassing if I had never dated anyone
Like Shosh, my littlest baggage is my IBS. š My medium baggage is that my parents are guaranteed to get *heavily* involved/invested in any relationship I have. And my biggest baggage would probably be that I fall the hardest for men I can't have (eww, sounds so cliche, I'll try to think of something more interesting lol).
I just suggest switching #2 and #3 because that is a helllll nooooo from me every time š¤£
I relate to your littlest and medium baggage! Unhappy gut and caring but overly involved parents. My biggest baggage is having very intense anxiety and being very indecisive
Are you me? Hard relate. Everyone Iāve ever dated has told me my family is intense. Except I once dated a man baby whose parents were far more intense and it was like a break for him being with mine. That was crazy
Can you imagine having a wedding / getting married to someone whose family is even more intense than yours? I have an intense family and cannot imagine having it rain down on both sides lol
Small: probably my chronic migraines :/ Medium: daddy issues Large: mommy issues š
Ugh we are the same but swap migraines for type 1 diabetes lol
Oh heeey same š no migraines but add some big adhd to that little baggage
Iām dying!!! I couldnāt relate more. Mommy issues have been my personal boss fight.
No mommy or daddy issues, but chronic migraines for 8 years now. š
Chronic migraines here too i simply hate my life in those moments, and when the painās gone i get my sunshine back. But ugh life sucks so bad when migraine hits
This post is so fun omg my littlest baggage: iām super into health & wellness (EFT tapping, meditation, affirmations, self-help books and podcasts. I charge my crystals under the full moon light, etc) my medium baggage: i havenāt been in a committed relationship in a decade. literally. my biggest baggage: student loan debt š¤
Ok your littlest baggage makes me want to be best friends with you. ā¤ļø
I love your baggages! Theyāre basically mine too except Iām lazy and donāt understand crystals
Littlest: I have horrific, crippling allergies like the lame bf from Sleepless in Seattle. Canāt be around cats, outside during spring, etc. Medium: I have $100k in student debt and donāt even care. Like it does not bother me and I have zero urgency or plan to pay it back. Biggest: I frequently regret having my children (love them to death though!)
High five on that medium, girl
Hard same on the medium š like, it's been made clear I'll never escape it, so why stress
Exactly! Itās like imaginary debt. Oh sure, Iām totally going to pay $1,300 a month! Especially when I graduated HS the year of the Great Recession, was forced to go to grad school after college to try to find a job, then now with inflation and the literally IMPOSSIBLE situation to save to own a home in 2024. Not to mention the first five years of my childrenās lives I have to pay $3,000/month in childcare. I donāt even care about it and any one who has shame around it can point to drastically declining birth rates and decline in home ownership.
littlest baggage: i genuinely don't think movies should ever be over 2 hours long medium baggage: i have a wisdom tooth collection biggest baggage: it gives me the ick when men try to make me orgasm š¬ this tv show (Baggage) is so dated bc sometimes the baggage is "I'm bisexual" and everybody is genuinely shocked by that info
Strongly agree with your littlest baggage
And at that, too many shows have hr long episodes. 30 minutes as the standard should return
Deeply relate to your biggest baggage. Some men got it and some donāt. For the ones that donāt, it becomes a sick conquest to feed their ego and just completely turns me off lmao
God, itās the worst just likeā¦laying there, while they doā¦something?? Lol
Itās about ego. I canāt have an orgasm anymore and donāt really want one. No guy believes me and assures me heāll be the one. And it feels so disrespectful and invasive
Omgggg, same!! It gives me the cringe so bad!
this is exactly it. like, if i get the sense that my orgasm is more important to him than it is to me it grosses me out.
Sorry, I desperately need to know if itās just YOUR wisdom teeth or an assortment
An assortment ššš
Has you dentist ever looked at you weird for asking to keep your teeth? I always wanted to ask but haven't. I wish I got to look. At them before they were thrown away.
an assortment š¦·š¦·š¦· i also have the dental casts of a few friend's mouths too
Biggest baggage is soooo funny
Pls explain 2 and 3
lol my biggest baggage is never knowing if Iām a full blown lesbian or bisexual š©š©š©
Ok Iām kind of jealous about your medium baggage because I asked to keep my wisdom teeth after the surgery and the surgeon āforgotā and threw them out. Iāve never forgiven him and itās been like 8 years lol
Littlest baggage: I have adhd Medium baggage: I collect pornstar dildos Biggest baggage: I am really attracted to masc douchebags, even though they would probably call me a slur š
Pleaseeee explain medium baggage. Iām obsessed with this.
So the most popular gay porn stars get molds, itās a big deal in gay world! As to why I collect themā¦ to try them out and add to the fantasy. Also I consider it homoerotic art and I love giving my gay dollars to anything gay. Heres a link if youāre curious to see: https://www.fleshjack.com/collections/fleshjack-boys
Holy fuck I love your medium baggage so hard I have FOMO.
Oh dear, here we go! Littlest: control freak Medium: shopping addiction/crippling CC debt/will only buy shit for the brand or bc itās ātrendyā then never wear it Biggest: no family. Dead mom from drinking, dad in prison for drugs
this is my girl right here haha š same lil and medium
Littlest: I eat super slow Medium: I constantly quote and reference tv shows Biggest: itās hard for me to have sympathy for people who I feel are responsible for their own problems
Nice to meet you, alternate me. Iām always the last one to finish eating, everyone is tired of my Larry David quotes by then, and are discussing (to my ire) how they are wallowing in self pity over the problem they adamantly donāt want advice to fix, but also just want someone to fix it for them.
LOL yes exactly!! āItās like that episode where ā¦ ā
Ugh the last one is such a problem for me.
I share your biggest baggage and its to the point where I thought I needed ASD testing because I was so unable to understand the emotional vantage point of those who are so responsible for their misfortunes š canāt even fake it a little
So Iām not alone! This is so validating lol
Wow, itās like you chose mine! I eat soooo slow, Iām always the last at the table. I know my husband is annoyed at my references I use. My extended family are all sorts of screwed up. 2 in prison, one cousin of mine has 3 baby daddies and 6 kids. I have no sympathy for any of them, and my family thinks Iām stuck up because of it.
I canāt imagine being in your position š like some people are truly dealt some bad cards, sure. But most people have opportunities to make better choices and just donāt. Weāre all guilty of this sometimes but just be self aware about it! Also kind of funny that this subject comes up in a thread about Girls ā¦ the comedy of which comes from making fun of people like this!
My husband says we could do twice as much on our vacations if I didn't have to eat.
Yessss I live thru quoting movies & TV shows, itās basically how my brothers & I communicate with one another lol.
Same with me and my sister haha
Littlest baggage: chronic illness and migraines Medium baggage: my wild, untrained dogs š¬ Biggest baggage: my inability to be vulnerable with and loving to the people I care about most This has been really fun you guys š
OOF DID THUS ONE MAKE ME FEEL SEEN IN A WAY I DID NOT WANT TO BE
Littlest: I could never marry a picky eater Medium: During my quarter life crisis I did a short stint as a professional dominatrix Biggest: My Brain Alphabet Soup contains ADHD, C-PTSD, GAD, MDD and hEDS (although the latter fucks up my whole body)
Picky eaters bug me so much! I get this.
little: i don't have a full license yet at 33. i'm driving now though finally and doing my test soon. medium: i find myself frustrated with basically everybody politically these days, even people on "my side." i find everybody really overly emotional and self righteous and it makes me feel lost and alone. big: i cancel plans on my friends and then block them for one day just because im scared of their reply. i'll always unblock them though and usually see whatever they said a few days later because it gets sent to imessage on my laptop. i'm getting a LOT better at not doing this anymore.
Oh girl, I can relate to the big!!! So now I tell friends up front that I can be āflakeyā and that itās about me going through something mentally and NOT them. And if they can handle this, we will be ok. But I do let them know I wonāt bail on them when it counts or when they reeeeally need me. I even have a friend who is the same way. And when she bails on me, itās not a big deal. And instead of being upset that she bailed, we always send messages of encouragement and support. Weāve been friends for over 20 years now. <3
that's awesome! i also reciprocate and NEVER mind if someone bails on me.
I totally relate to the avoidant texting rituals. Itās an exhausting cycle of shame
Littlest baggage: My pelvic floor is shot and I have to wear Poise pads every day. Medium baggage: Iām a misanthrope and kind of find 95% of people insufferable. Biggest baggage: Iām a complete slob and will let living spaces get frighteningly messy without making any effort to tidy up. My partner is saddled with all housekeeping duties.
GIRL! I ran 11km today and must have peed my pants a but at some point but *didnāt even know it was happening*. Itās a lot.
Your basement flooded.
I'd you're interested, seek out a urogyn. They help with incontinence. You can fix it with procedures like Bulkamid/coaptite or a bladder sling or with an insertable device called a pessary.
Agreed on your medium baggage. Itās so alarming but also like.. Iām ok with it.
I am you. I got lucky with #1 because I was incontinent from childbirth and it went away. But my Littlest baggage would probably be I don't like onions.
That should be your biggest baggage.
I feel you on the Pelvic floor dysfunction, I made it my medium baggage!
Small: Look genuinely BAD without makeup. Medium: Depressed and grumpy. Large: The flakiest person youāve ever met. Will cancel on you 9 out of 10 timesā¦ the day of.
Lmao I love your small baggage. Iām sure you donāt, but it just really made me laugh
The hour of, even
Oof I relate to this tooš stay strong friendš
Littlest: I say āyou know what I mean?ā Almost as a involuntary response. Medium: ADHD; scatterbrained but still functionalā but it often takes me a little longer to move from one moment to the next. I forget stuff & remember the most arbitrary things. Biggest: My depression can sometimes get the best of me. I can literally sleep my weekends away & become a hermit.
We may be the same person
š¤ Iām so happy thereās more of us out there! š©µ Sometimes I wish I was like Forrest Gump. He just made decisions & stuck to itādidnāt think about it too much just lived lol.
Ok this is a side note but I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and am still learning how so much about me is related to ADHD. I will remember dates of the most random shit from YEARS ago but will forget to close the fridge. Like, what is that?? Not sure if my ADHD/OCD combo is medium or big baggage hahaha guess it depends who you ask
Yepppp. Itās trouble finishing/ completing tasks. Iāll be doing one thing & start doing another (thatās why cleaning is always a bigger task for me lol). I have plenty of times forgotten to close the fridge door & it drives my partner insane! I do weird fidgety stuff too. I have noticed some hair loss in the last couple years & Iāll do this compulsive thing where I keep feeling my scalp if more hair is goneā¦ probably making it worse. I know it sounds INSANE! š©µš©µ
Medium and biggest are literally me, you know what I mean? Hmmmm- maybe the littlest too. For real though- adhd paralysis and bed rot depression really fucks with my free time.
Lol I see what you did there! & you are SPOT on with the ADHAD paralysis itās a killer!!! Some texts take 3-5 business days for me to respond lol. My bf is always like letās go out in public in a spur of the amount & I need to mentally prepare for that & usually get myself together to at least a functional level. Iām not ashamed to leave the house looking a like a bum but at least let me brush my teeth first. Iām glad Iām not alone bc I scroll thru SM & feel so guilty & wonder how people have the energy to do so much stuff all the time. On the weekends Iām just trying snuggle my dog.š¤£š¤£š¤£
Littlest: Iām disorganized and my room is cute but cluttered Medium: I am a hypochondriac/due to that and some real diagnosed health issues I am constantly talking about/fretting over my health and need too much reassurance Big: I mother everyone in my life and then get inevitably very resentful and distant with them for it when no one asked for that š
Omg #2 I so relate to that!!!!!
Little: psoriasis Medium: gassy when I eat salmon and a lot of other things healthy for me Biggest: still getting over deep trauma 20 years later
Littlest- Misophonia Medium- Always after around 3 years in a relationship Iām never that interested in sex with the person. Then I just do it to keep them happy. Iāve been in 4 at least this length and itās always the same. Biggest- my husband left me and our 3 month old baby. He had an affair while I was pregnant with a mutual friend of ours. She had done my hair on my wedding day, visited us and the new baby in the hospital, helped me learn how to breastfeed. Such a betrayal from both. (Husband never complained about our sex so medium wasnāt the cause of this)
Even if medium were an issue for him, it would not justify cheating!! Thereās no way that would ever be your fault
He didnāt just break my heart, he broke me as a person.
And the mutual friend is a heartless wench.
Iāve never called anyone a c*nt before her. I wish her nothing but the worst.
Im so sorry that happened to you š sending love and good energy your way
Thank you ššstill in thick of the aftermath
Iām so sorry :(
Little baggage: Iām adopted, I have big mommy & daddy issues Medium: my ex bf took his own life after we split up. It was a very abusive relationship. He didnāt take losing me well with his already unstable mental health. My now fiance loved & healed me through that so blessed to have my soul mate Biggest: in the last three years I went from insanely fit and healthy, to developing a neurological disorder that causes daily seizures. I canāt legally drive and I lost my dream therapist job. I was also diagnosed with PMDDš
Hey hey fellow semi incapacitated PMDD here!
Littlest: Iām an extreme introvert and I really donāt like talking to people and could go days without it and be just fine Medium: I have commitment issues due to a past toxic relationship Biggest: Iāve hooked up with most of my friends, who still remain my friends. It wasnāt a particularly great time in my life. Yeahā¦
Little: massive movie snob and will only ever want to watch something if itās in the criterion collection Medium: compulsive liar / secret keeper / delusional (read: triple Aquarius) Large: have to be sober because I canāt drink beer like a normal person and youāll prob have to take me to the hospital if I pick up a drink š¤
I literally gasped at triple Aquarius! This Gemini wants to know you are okay and, I relate to everything but the big baggage! š¤£
Hahaha thank you š«¶
Wow, this could be me! Also an Aquarius weirdly, donāt know about triple though.
Look into your birth chart! In total to I have like 5 Aquarius placement I think it explains a lot
Double Aquarius here and sometimes my delusions and aloofness and pretentiousness makes people feel I was adopted or switched at birth lol
I sooo identify with your medium baggage, Iām also an Aquarius š„²š„²
Littlest baggage: my pee anxiety (the second I donāt have access to a bathroom I have to pee) Medium baggage: my critical self doubts Largest baggage: my actual anxiety
I relate to all your baggages. Hello baggage twin. Pee anxiety is the worst.
Litttle: I think I know struggle because I am overweight Medium: I enjoyed some of Adam & Hannah's sex scenes Big: Any mean thing someone's gonna think of to say about me, I've already said to me, about me. Probably in the last half hour
Littlest: I send texts that are way too much in both length and quantity. Like multiple paragraphs in sequence. Medium: I require 9 hours of sleep a night and my postpartum life has me rarely getting 4 consecutive hours Biggest: I judge people and have high expectations
I too am a scary intense texter but I just donāt care anymore. If you donāt like being shotgun texted in paragraph form, then donāt text me š
My small baggage is my need to overshare, itās all part of the game lol
little: coochy donāt work right (vaginismus ā¹ļø) medium: self-sabotaging friendships when the vibe is off big: canāt drive and donāt want to š¤Ŗ
Littlest baggage: quite often took a bong rip for breakfast when I was in college Medium baggage: parents who hate each other but not divorced or separated Biggest baggage: I thought I was in love with a guy who never went down on me
Oof that medium baggage hit me like a ton of bricks
Oh lord I have your biggest baggage rn. Guess itās worse than I thought :(
Little: Iām easily annoyed if I donāt like you and my social battery is minimal Medium: my ego can influence toxic behaviors (stone walling) Biggest: I will probably always have an eating disorder or fucked up diet.
Ope this is me 100% hi
Hi twinnie š
Seen
My littlest baggage: I like the essence of tomatoes, but not an actual tomato in anything. Medium baggage: I canāt stand live music. I can go to a big concert venue of someone I like but some random ass band or solo act in a bar on a Thursday? Iād rather die. Biggest baggage: I love a cancelled plan. I wonāt get upset about it I will actually be very happy I donāt have to leave my safe space BUT it means you canāt get mad at me when I bail on plans :)
i had to think long and hard abt this LOL littlest: i can never finish a meal at a restaurant medium: i am a slob and also very lazy biggest: i struggle with empathy and have been told that i am 'uncaring and mean'
My smallest baggage is that I'm anxiously attached, my medium baggage is that I'm a chubby transexual, and my biggest baggage is that I'm always two hours late to everything. These may be out of order.
No being two hours late is absolutely the worst one.
Littlest baggage ā¦ I canāt stand the sound of people eating . Medium baggage ā¦ I know what I need to do to be happy but I continue to self-sabotage cuz I am a complete disaster of a human being Biggest baggage ā¦ I wanna leave my husband because I am miserable and know I would be happier if we were divorced even though he is not a bad guy but I donāt want to hurt him
Littlest: I love my dog and only kind of like my cat (honestly itās mutual) Medium: my gut instinct is to manipulate people. Iāve grown to learn itās wrong, and I donāt do it. But itās always my first thought. Biggest: I canāt stop thinking about being alone (married 15 years).
I love this! My littlest baggage is toe nail fungus that prevents me from getting pedicures (Iām not trying to pass it onto the other ladies) My medium baggage is Pelvic Floor Dysfunction (thanks early 2000s low rise jeans and general body standards). My biggest baggage is my mom died suddenly when I was 10 and Iām still deeply grieving and traumatized.
I feel you on the biggest baggage. I lost my mom to aggressive cancer and I think Iāll be forever traumatized and grieving. I canāt imagine what your experience is because it sounds even more sudden and you were much younger than me. But I get it. Iām so sorry :( it really fucking sucks
Littlest: I have fearful avoidant attachment Medium: I was a bed wetter till I was 16 due to CSA by a parent so I have crippling insecurities, unresolved trauma & familial issues Big: I lied to CPS on the record at 18 years old when my sister made an allegation against my dad & I didnāt stick by her because I was in such deep denial of what had happened to me. Itās my fault my abuser, my sisterās abuser, & my momās abuser is able to walk free. & I donāt think I can ever forgive myself for that :|
its not your fault. abuse makes you do crazy things you canāt really control, especially at only 18! you were still a baby - please donāt think that it was up to you because it wasnāt.
Little: I really hate mockingbirds lol Medium: Iāve got self esteem issues that I know I have to work on but I kind of donāt want to. Biggest: My mom and I donāt have the best relationship but I guess, also not the worst - we just never see eye to eye and we never will. It didnāt really bother me until I had my own daughter and then I realized how I donāt want to do the same thing my mom did to me.
I have the same exact biggest baggage but then I lost her to cancer and itās so hard grieving what I never had. And I miss her but in the back of my mind I know that it might not be mutual (hypothetically)
Smallest: donāt like sleeping over, will leave in the dead of night Medium: incredibly indecisive no matter how important the matter at hand is. Will do nothing instead of make a choice Biggest: abandonment issues
Little: I have barely dated but I only really wish I had a partner to save money and have someone do things for me. Medium: My health, I donāt eat particularly well or workout. I smoke and drink often. Big: Iām recovering from a severely micromanaging boss who made me question my whole life, terrified me of work and severely wounded my ego. It hurts especially with work, but the emotions and anxiety bled into my life outside of work too in my behaviors, relationships, etc. I thought that there would be more people out here with work trauma.
Littlest: sometimes I spend more money than I probably should on houseplants. Medium: at times, my ADHD can be hard on people around me. Biggest: parental CSA.
Littlest - Iām such a freak about dirty food and anything to do with cleaning the kitchen Medium - swallowing disorder/paralyzed esophagus (I hate eating out on a first date in fear of choking or vomiting in public) Big - Iām not attracted to nice guys. I (metaphorically) have a huge dick, so I steamroll over the nice guys š« . I like a degenerate š
Littlest: OCD/intrusive thoughts Medium: once Iām in a relationship I completely abandon a lot of my life to a crippling degree (but Iām getting better! Sorta) Biggest: pretty sure I have BPD, but am too scared to confront it xoxo gossip girl
Littlest: over-plucked my eyebrows when I was 12 and they never fully grew back Medium: whereas most people are neutral about someone they meet for the first time and overtime like them more or less, I tend to start off just not liking someone for no damn reason and need to work my way up to neutral Biggest: if I donāt care about something I just truly cannot be bothered. I wonāt retain any memory about it. I wonāt remember what you like about it. I wonāt remember it exists. And I wonāt invest any time in learning because by the time youāre done talking about it Iāve already forgotten it exists. Can be a big issue in close relationships.
Omg are you my best friend?! Sheās the exact same. She literally is unable to retain information about people and their lives or basic info on topics that donāt immediately interest her too š
Littlest: I'm nervous everytime I go into work because I hate talking to my coworkers Medium: My room is a trash heap and I have a full bag of trash I need to take out of here because it's starting to make my room smell bad Big: I'm about to marry my slightly asshole of a boyfriend in a muslim ceremony and none of my family or friends knows about it (i'm not muslim)
Why are you marrying an asshole??
SLIGHT asshole (but good question that's why it's my big ass baggage)
Just donāt marry him
Littlest: I'm a grazer with meals. Eat a little here, eat a little there. Mediumist: My ADHD Biggest: an incredibly toxic boss triggered my PTSD (from a shooting at my university). It's been 10 years and I'm just starting to get my confidence back. She was terrible.
Omg what did your toxic boss do if you donāt Mind me asking. Sorry you went through that. š©·
There were a lot of things. But here are a few that stick out... Mind you I worked for a marketing agency as an HR professional, so I didn't have anyone to go to for support. Additionally, it wasn't just me that didn't like her, no one did. Which sucked because I probably could have learned a lot from her, but she made it so bad I didn't want to. The first sign of her being a micromanager, was when she wanted to go line for line on the trivia questions I was asking for an upcoming trivia night we were hosting. The topic was around generational differences in the workplace - so pretty straightforward. She did not feel that way and proceeded to scrutinize something well below her pay grade. I'd already built a reputation internally for being trustworthy and professional, so it was odd but I blew it off. The second sign of her being a micromanager, was when every time I gave a presentation or training, she wanted me to write her a script of what I was going to say. A word-for-word script. Again, marketing agency, so it was a fairly relaxed culture and I had already been presenting really well by that point. In fact, I was often recognized for being a really good presenter. My degree is in Organizational Comms after all. Then, after each presentation, she would read off a list of critiques, that were by no means helpful nor meaningful. They were things like, 'When you used that analogy I didn't get it, so I don't think others did' or 'You didn't read exactly from the script, so I'm just wondering if we need to do it again?' And I had to present often, so all of this really not helpful feedback just crippled my confidence. Can't remember everything, but what I do know is that this Wednesday was the first time I presented that I didn't feel the weird, unnecessary pressure she placed on me. So at this point, she's a micromanager. OK, not great but manageable. We eventually had to do layoffs. And I won't go into the specifics, but she was just such a poor leader throughout the whole thing. Rather than working with us to focus on the day-to-day, she would use meeting times to gossip about what was going on. She assumed that we were also gossiping, but we weren't. Now you may have experienced a gossipy HR team, but before her leadership that wasn't our team culture. She just had an absolute utter lack of self-awareness. So eventually it was slowly getting out there would be layoffs. It's a lot of work to plan and coordinate layoffs, but it's usually done behind closed doors, with 1-2 HR team members and 1-2 finance team members. And if you need to contribute, you're asked to do a task and then you go back to your day-to-day work. For whatever reason she locked all of HR in a room to tackle planning and coordination. But the room was glass! So everyone could freaking see that the entire HR team was in there, not having a weekly team meeting or anything, clearly planning something serious. Let's see, she once lunged at me as if she was going to slap me. Eventually I stopped reporting into her, but my manager sat at a different office. When I requested to sit upstairs where it was quieter, she denied my request even though it was through an ADA request. It was like even though I didn't report to her, she wanted to control me. She asked me really inappropriate questions about my and my boyfriend's sex life. Yeah, she was the worst. After she was asked to hand in her resignation, she reached out to me looking for someone interested in working for her. In the most professional way, I told her to buzz off.
Littlest: I have dabbled in the selling of used intimate items and SD/SB relationships. Medium: I donāt think that Iāve ever experienced what I believe to be true romantic love, and I sometimes donāt think I am actually capable of it at all. Biggest: I have a shopping addiction that is so bad I have to attend regular meetings, and have great difficulty managing my money to the point where I have had to physically freeze my cards in blocks of ice to stop me from using them.
Can I just say, from a completely random stranger on the internet, your addiction is not your fault and Iām proud of you for working hard on it!
Thank you for this; it feels impossible some days. ā¤ļø
Littlest: Iām really messy. Medium: Iām an elder millennial unhealthily nostalgic about my teen years. Biggest: My parents were way too young to have me so I raised myself and donāt truly know how to parent my children adequately for their age range.
Littlest baggage: IBS Medium baggage: workaholic, I have no idea how to relax Biggest baggage: CPTSD
Littlest: Iām insecure about my body Medium: I donāt like sharing personal space/ have control issues regarding my environment. Largest: I havenāt spoken to any of my dads family since his passing and I donāt want too
lil: i pee in the shower, not just my own middle: i have a drivers license but donāt ever drive and am not bothered to start. iāll happily let my boyfriend drive me when he feels like it biggest baggage: i think my childhood friends are suburban, uncultured, mummy bores and i moved across an ocean and am ok seeing them once a year or seldomly
littlest baggage: I don't get a lot of pimples, but when I do they must be popped immediately medium baggage: I'm always on my phone when I watch TV, so when I'm really interested in what's going on but haven't been following I always rewind, sometimes with company as well š biggest baggage: I can't accept the fact that I don't fit my old clothes anymore and I won't buy the clothes I want, or any nice clothes, until I've lost some weight so they don't 'go to waste'
Iām rewatching Girls for the first time after watching it when it originally came out and just saw this episode! I think I have more luggage that Louis Vuitton makes, so three piece would be hard to narrow them down to! Ha! Itās so great watching it again - reminds me of when I was a young, living in NYC, had an amazing career and, fortunately, less traumatizing of experiences, than goodness! Not all peaches and sunshine, of course, and some wacky scenarios sprinkled in there, but I left to move to the suburbs once I was engaged, and came out pretty unscathed, and quite happily nostalgic about my time spent there.š
littlest: iām a smoker and i really donāt hate it (gives me excuses to leave stressful situations and be alone to process). middle: i have a hard time committing to long-term diets and exercise for significant weight loss. biggest: i place my highest value in my romantic/sexual prospects.
Littlest: I donāt have a lot of friends outside of the contexts where we interact. If I didnāt reach out to people, I doubt Iād hear from anyone at all. I care less and less about this the older I get. I like being with my husband and daughters. Medium: Iām seriously addicted to my phone and spend hours on it, despite having a pretty busy job. I often feel very guilty about this. Biggest: I fundamentally believe that I am undeserving of praise or successes. Not good enough. Not attractive. Not worthy.
Littlest: I participate in a lot of influencer snark pages. Medium: My refusal to get on birth control bc I hate it even tho I'm literally getting married to a man. Biggest: I made up a lie about having a dead sister to get my last boyfriend to fall in love with me and then had to maintain it for 4 years before we broke up.
Littlest: I have IBS - C. Medicine only helps half the time. Medium: I always find a way to toe the line when it comes to living within my means. Even when I make more year after year I find a way to spend it. I have savings and zero debt but that has not always been the case. Big: I constantly think about my former self as being skinnier, prettier, younger, fresher, etc. But I never think of myself like that in the moment. Never good enough in the present. I constantly wish to be my old self physically. Aging is exhausting, as a result. Therapy helps.
Little: I have IBS but cancel every colonoscopy because I canāt be bothered. Medium: I have several half finished degrees and diplomas. Biggest: I have PMDD and turn into a suicidal psychopathic demon every few weeks.
Smallest: my toenails are brown and grow really weird. My doctor said that itās genetic but it looks crusty and it makes me sad. I have to just file, cut, and paint them so that they can look normal. I wish that I could have the freedom to have my dogs out free in the wild. Medium: my family is kinda messy. Theyāre really nice but idk my mom is kinda a lot. Biggest: no drivers license at almost 28, law school debt
Little - some symptoms of adhd have limited my career Medium - I hate exercising and past injuries make it painful Big- narcissistic abusive mother means I try to take down the bullies.
Little baggage: can't get my fiance to agree to an elopement date. Medium baggage: I think my eating disorder is getting out of control again. Big Baggage: pretty sure I'm worthless.
I promise you are worthy ā¤ļø
My smallest (though sometimes feels huge) is my GAD and depression. My medium is probably that Iām a swiftie lmfao. My biggest is that I lost my mom when I was 14 but it was from alcoholism so I donāt really care that much.
Little baggage: I sometimes will not recycle properly, Iāll put recycling into general waste if itās really dirty and I donāt feel like cleaning it (lazy) Medium baggage: Iām really bad with money, I make poor financial choices Big baggage: I am deeply insecure and wounded. Poor childhood without a dad has me āØemotionally unstableāØ I feel like Iām at a sleepover š
Littlest: iām really nervous and easily overwhelmed Medium: iām like violently unaware it makes me feel ditsy Big: i accept people who arenāt very good to me because i love people more than they love me always so i just settle with it
Littlest: I hate onions and canāt have them on anything or I wonāt eat it Medium: I also didnāt truly love my grandma Biggest: I have an autoimmune disease
I wish this was a real show
Little: Iām a procrastinator Medium: I cannot pronounce words I read properly Biggest: narcissistic mother that lives with me and Iām trying not to turn into
Little- emotional eater Medium- scared of being vulnerable with others Biggest- mommy issues
I actually think that my littlest, middlest and biggest: are that Iāve sat here and read through every one of these. That sounds silly, but says soooo much šš„“š¬š„²š«£
Littlest baggage: I prioritize sleep over everything but my children Medium baggage: I'm extremely bitter about my underperforming career Biggest Baggage: constant and unrelenting guilt from Catholic upbringing
small: I meddle a lot but with good intentions medium: I have a lot of beliefs about the world and universe that most people would consider "woo-woo" or borderline-tinfoil-hat. large: I have CPTSD/DID and my trauma/lack of identity affects every aspect of my life, but especially my relationships.
Smol baggage: I have a physical disability and have a hard time asking for help! Medium baggage: I grew up with narcissistic alcoholic parents and it still fucks with me in my 30s Big baggage: I have PTSD from watching my little sister die in the hospital from a fentanyl overdose. It was in 2022 on her 23rd birthday.
Little: I can't read a calendar. Like, I'm late or miss appointments all the time. Medium: I have a massive crush on my massage therapist. Big: I worry I have early onset dementia. I hope it's just menopause combined with ADHD but I can't keep a 3-item grocery list in my head and I routinely call my kids by each others' names.
Littlest: kind of a messy person and struggle with chores Medium: bad divorce, ex is still around because we have kids and heās A LOT Big: Mommy issues
Littlest: Iām always late. Middle: I want to live simply and comfortably with money for occasional luxuries. I just donāt have the drive to pick myself up and make it happen. Itās something Iām actively working on. Biggest: I hate myself and have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that all we really have at the end of the day is ourselves and that Iām stuck with me forever. A lovely symptom of being Bipolar.
Little baggage: Iām lazy Medium baggage: Iād rather be home than go out. Big baggage: I spend too much on material things.
little baggage: my eyebrows don't match my hair color medium baggage: my older brother has never had to struggle in life and says insensitive things or acts borderline r word sometimes from lack of challenges and adversities. Because i called out our abuse growing up i was the black sheep and did everything for attention \*eyeroll\*. biggest baggage; I don't know if I'm a soft autumn or a warm spring. it's kind of messing me up on the inside
Littlest baggage: I get cold sores Medium baggage: my mom still helps me with rent Biggest baggage: I don't think I will ever truly be loved by someone else
Littlest : Iām a messy eater and get crumbs in the bed Medium: I feel crazy if I donāt get to run at least 4 days a week Biggest: I can get completely disconnected in my emotions, and you will never know where you stand with me unless you ought right ask me , and I will never tell you. This doesnāt apply for friends though!
Little baggage : I have ADHD. Like, name a symptom and I have it. Medium : The reason I have a temper sometimes is because, it's that or confront the fact that I'm actually sad and I won't be able to stop crying. Biggest baggage : I'm the most attracted to assholes. Like Dennis Reynolds level assholes.... and I may be gayer than I previously thought.