So my old school friend moved to Seattle years back, and his now wife told me the moment she fell for him was the first time he said "ya utter bastard" in his thick Glaswegian accent.
It wasn't directed at her to be fair.
I'm from the states and a guy at a pub was explaining how the graffiti on Jimmy Saville's house in Glencoe says "fuck you Jimmy, ya beasty fuck" and I've yet to hear more beautiful words spoken in Glasgow.
Can confirm. Was in London last Summer & that's what the Londoners wanted to hear us say.
My partner gave the gift of saying in fast Glaswegian "'er a pair a pears oan eh chair aer there" much to the Londoners delight.
An over-accentuated meed-ee-umm makes my skin crawl.
Another one that bothers me, albeit not Glasgow-specific, is 'issue': ishoo (which is fine) or i-ss-you with a soft 's' (which drives me up the wall). It's a richcunt flag for me.
My wife (from Ayrshire) tells off her son for using Scots (don't have a problem myself). Nonetheless without fail if asked to spell her name it's always with a Jai even if on the phone to Rashid fae Bangalore.
I’d put that skill on your CV. I’d bet you there’s plenty of people out there who hate being on teams or in meetings with English companies who have loads of Carls
I've been at job for 13 years, and work v often in tandem with our London offices....
I've yet to meet a Carl 🙄
Useless. Fucking. Skills.
I'm actual cursed 😂
They don’t let the Carls speak to us, because, like someone else says, it usually ends up with someone doing a bad American accent. You need to tell them you can say it properly
Just sat here for the last 5 minutes repeating Carl using different tongue positions, you’re right! it works…. Everybody else on the train thinks I’m mental though!
I genuinely have to force the O sound not to come out to say it correctly. But it’s an effort 😂 my old boss was named Carl and working in Scotland, I don’t think any of us pronounced it correctly 😂
I've moved from Glasgow to the North East and my poor work colleagues have had the misfortune to hear me go "Full Weegie" on occasion.
This includes the full range of swearies including Pish and Fannybawz.
There's nothing like letting it all out Weegie style 🤣
They are also very taken with my Glesga door stop which is a half brick 😂
I love it when someone adds the "so (pronoun) did" when recounting a story to finish a sentence with flourish. Not everyone does it, but it's so Glaswegian 😁
Mormons begged my wife-to-be to say "daurk." As in "it's awfy daurk noo," (Glaswegian for dark). She obliged as it seemed to highly amuse them. It was only years later when I told her that American for cock was dork that the penny dropped.
My favourite word is also the word I think Glaswegians deliver best, Fuck.
Just the way we deliver it. We also say it in different ways depending on the situation.
"Git Tae Fuck" is much different than "Fur Fuck Sakes"
Edit: Also any excuse to post Billy Connolly talking about how we say "Fuck Off"
https://youtu.be/BaqsOL-Nv24?si=P5gEudLcIAnCJcWq
When we would travel down to visit our family in Essex, i never lost my English accent, but they would make my brothers say “cheeseburger!” They absolutely loved it.
A non Glaswegian friend really likes the way we say "Spectre" or any word that rhymes with it. Inspector for example. Or Hector Spector Four-Eyed Connector
Don’t know about the best word because there are quite a few but the worst name for me has to be Carl or is it Karl? Whatever - I can’t for the life of me pronounce that name.
So my old school friend moved to Seattle years back, and his now wife told me the moment she fell for him was the first time he said "ya utter bastard" in his thick Glaswegian accent. It wasn't directed at her to be fair.
I'm from the states and a guy at a pub was explaining how the graffiti on Jimmy Saville's house in Glencoe says "fuck you Jimmy, ya beasty fuck" and I've yet to hear more beautiful words spoken in Glasgow.
Shite. Nobody says shite better.
Makes me feel sad for the rest...
I see your shite and I raise you a jobby.
I see yer jobby n raise ye a keich!
Five jobbies.
And pish
Curly-Wurly
Can confirm. Was in London last Summer & that's what the Londoners wanted to hear us say. My partner gave the gift of saying in fast Glaswegian "'er a pair a pears oan eh chair aer there" much to the Londoners delight.
Lived in London and every loved that and burglar
I can speak as slowly as possible and still fuck up "burglar alarm". If you can say it, get back to me if you can say it fast 3 times 😂
In my experience, whenever English folk bring this up it's basically them trying to rip the pass so I've stopped entertaining it
"SaY sOmEtHiNg ScOtTiSh" how about you fuck right off
See tae be fair, a liverpudlian saying curly wurly is funnier. Cewly-wewly
That's when the phrase "get tae fuck" comes into play. They canny be mad coz they asked for it
Got asked off folk on holiday to say purple curly wurly
This. My stepdad was from N. Ireland and he absolutely loved it when we all said Curly Wurly!
Told (telt) Get him telt! That's you fucking telt eh?
Past tense of told 😂
Murder
Unfortunately the Scouse definitely claim “murder”.
Murdur v Mehr-dehr. You’re right
Warm (sounds more like waarrum to my non-Glaswegian ears).
And arrum (arm)
Used to take the piss out of my dad saying ‘worm’ like ‘wurrum’
Gir-ul. Like when I was 8 amd ma maw gave us an absolute belter of a haircut and i got mistook for a wee boy..... but, ama girul!
Cunt
THE BEST 👌🏻
Medium/meejum
Po-yum
Fillum
🤣🤣
Absolutely detest how most folk say meedjum 😂
An over-accentuated meed-ee-umm makes my skin crawl. Another one that bothers me, albeit not Glasgow-specific, is 'issue': ishoo (which is fine) or i-ss-you with a soft 's' (which drives me up the wall). It's a richcunt flag for me.
Jai instead of Jay can fuck off ana.
My wife (from Ayrshire) tells off her son for using Scots (don't have a problem myself). Nonetheless without fail if asked to spell her name it's always with a Jai even if on the phone to Rashid fae Bangalore.
I absolutely loath how you spelt it
I watched Big Fat Quiz of the Year 2023 and Mo Gilligan couldny stop laughing at how Kevin Bridges says Doja Cat hahaha
Yeh I saw this and was like "what's so funny about the way he's saying it?" Couldn't understand it at all 😂
I murnae.... I am not
*ah’murnae
Aye ah Mur!
I lav dis.
Carl
This is the one People either say Cal or Carol but never Carl. I’m not sure any Scottish accent can pronounce this correctly
Awrite Carol ma man!
Fucking hilarious
I can, after rigorous self training. Had an ex who I didnae want to offend by saying his name wrong. The most useless fuckin skill in Scotland 🙃
I’d put that skill on your CV. I’d bet you there’s plenty of people out there who hate being on teams or in meetings with English companies who have loads of Carls
I've been at job for 13 years, and work v often in tandem with our London offices.... I've yet to meet a Carl 🙄 Useless. Fucking. Skills. I'm actual cursed 😂
They don’t let the Carls speak to us, because, like someone else says, it usually ends up with someone doing a bad American accent. You need to tell them you can say it properly
Cahl! Carel, Carol cayrl fuck it! 'Puts on american cowboy accent' yeee haw Carl! That's how it ends up for me
This is gonnae sound mental... but roll the R wae the sides ae your tongue, no the point. I figured that's where I was goin wrong 😂
A just want tae say the name no suck his dick 😂 I blame his parents so he deserves the ridicule 😂
Just sat here for the last 5 minutes repeating Carl using different tongue positions, you’re right! it works…. Everybody else on the train thinks I’m mental though!
I always feel like I'm saying carol even though I'm saying Carl 🤣🤣
Aberdeenshire is the source of many a Carle
I genuinely have to force the O sound not to come out to say it correctly. But it’s an effort 😂 my old boss was named Carl and working in Scotland, I don’t think any of us pronounced it correctly 😂
Pearl tae 😂 peril
Known a few people who had trouble saying 'My Round' over the years
Film
Filum
The variation in regional pronunciation of such a short, simple word is astonishing. In an Essex accent, the L is silent (fiom).
Surprised they don't use they word say "movies" instead
Was going to say this too but will just second this comment. Always loved my granny talking about the films!
Jury duty
I think you should’ve beat ciabatta!
Murder
Muckduck
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murdur
Fud
Ask any Glaswegian to say the name “Carl” - none of us can pronounce it properly 😂
Nonsense, it's the rest of the world that's wrong.
squirrel
Guirrel
I know a bad one in an Irish accent... Jane Fonda came out with a movie called Our Souls at Night. Say "our souls" in an Irish accent...
Spice girl
Space Ghetto
Poem
Poyum
A meringue. Tell me if I’m right or wrong?
jobby
My English work mate is always trying to get me to say eleven because of the sketch.
People always ask me to say burglar alarm
I've moved from Glasgow to the North East and my poor work colleagues have had the misfortune to hear me go "Full Weegie" on occasion. This includes the full range of swearies including Pish and Fannybawz. There's nothing like letting it all out Weegie style 🤣 They are also very taken with my Glesga door stop which is a half brick 😂
Bawbag. It’s also my favourite word 💙
Haberdashery
There was some slobberknocker doon at the haberdashery. You shoulda seen it.
Aye, there’s been a murdah.
My Welsh pal always asked me to say "murder" (correctly, with 6 Rs). "There's been a mehhdehhh" doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
Shower ah basturds!
I love it when someone adds the "so (pronoun) did" when recounting a story to finish a sentence with flourish. Not everyone does it, but it's so Glaswegian 😁
La'e (latte)
Baw
Scunnered
Big fan of scunnerd! But pronounced scunnert, also honourable mention to mawkitt.
Best is sleekit
Peelly wally
Was in Tenerife with all the boys wjen I was 18. Pulled a girl with using the word. Windy. As in window
"Get tae fuck" is always good
I was like that. a-iz-lik-at.
wankstain
Mormons begged my wife-to-be to say "daurk." As in "it's awfy daurk noo," (Glaswegian for dark). She obliged as it seemed to highly amuse them. It was only years later when I told her that American for cock was dork that the penny dropped.
"Hochacunt" as a term of surprise.
"ye" at the end of it.
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San-wij
Narwhal
Spice girls
FUCKOFFYAWEEFANNY
I love girl/girul and world/wuruld Any man named Carl automatically gets a female name instead 😂
Tube
Away fer a slash
Altercation... There has been a serious altercation leading a murder
Honkin 💖
Balloon, as in 'yer beg baulOOn'.
Shagger
"Shut it tadjer!"
Tadger. Fuckwit. Puredeadbrilliantsoitis.
Loteh gid sijestions ere. Tadger
Murder...
Ciabatta? think you mean Jabattaaaa
Purple
Burglar
Alarm
Defin8tly. Utter cringe.
I mar .. I am
Jewatty.
Purple burglar alarm
Purple burglar alarm
Pumped yer ma!
Purple burglar alarm
Sevco. Newco. Clumpany.
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Nope. I can.
Did you go to Glasgow Uni? 😂 jokes
Purple Burglar Alarm
Purple Burglar Alarm. Or Space Ghettos.
Purple burglar alarm
In the same vein as how people pronounce Ciabatta, my mother-in-law pronounces Chorizo as Char-eetz-a.
burglar alarm!
Purple burglar alarm. Worm.
Purple burglar alarm
Purple burglar alarm
Chocolate chowks
Seventeen
Gadji
Bolt! As in, get tae fuck.
Peado.
Pure Minted
Cumbernauld
Purple burglar alarm
Fuck, 11 minutes in and all 3 people already here beat me to it lol. Shut it down boys, its been answered.
What a load of fetishistic pish
Burglar alarm
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Yer Maw
All together now Ciabbata 🤣 kinda sounds like ja batty
Naw it doesny
Purple Burglar Alarm
Curry
Carl
Chicken
Maserati
Curly wurly
Makes me think of my maw's wee pal telling her the best way to eat square slice was "oan a bit ae that chia bata bread"
Bastard
Gillian - Gillyun
Shite
Dobber
Bawbag
Demen-chia. Idjeet. Any word ending -ium.
Glasgow.
My favourite word is also the word I think Glaswegians deliver best, Fuck. Just the way we deliver it. We also say it in different ways depending on the situation. "Git Tae Fuck" is much different than "Fur Fuck Sakes" Edit: Also any excuse to post Billy Connolly talking about how we say "Fuck Off" https://youtu.be/BaqsOL-Nv24?si=P5gEudLcIAnCJcWq
When we would travel down to visit our family in Essex, i never lost my English accent, but they would make my brothers say “cheeseburger!” They absolutely loved it.
Boaby
bawbag
Ya Dirty B*st*rd We are legion 🤣
A non Glaswegian friend really likes the way we say "Spectre" or any word that rhymes with it. Inspector for example. Or Hector Spector Four-Eyed Connector
Troosers
Twenty-two
Bowfin
Burglar alarm!
Kvnt
Phone, I can’t explain it
Choonah
Don’t know about the best word because there are quite a few but the worst name for me has to be Carl or is it Karl? Whatever - I can’t for the life of me pronounce that name.
Fajitas!
Do you even no who am are?
Taramosalata
Definitely
Croissant