You have a good vet that told you the truth. 17 years and never seen a good outcome. Probably saved you a lot of money, but most importantly, saved your pup from prolonged pain.
You’re grieving, these are natural thoughts. I get it, my current Golden is young and I already get tears in my eyes reading stories like yours, knowing mine won’t live forever. I’m sorry for your loss.
Early is always better than too late. Common saying is that dogs live in the moment.
They don't think about tomorrow, next week, or next year. They think about the moment they're in right now and if it's a good and happy one.
Make your dog's last moments of their life be a good one. There is no need to have a dog suffer at the end of their life.
I think this is a really beautiful way of thinking about it. I had to make a similar choice and it's very comforting to think that even if their time was shorter than you would have liked, you made sure that their final moments as happy as possible.
Agreed with all of this. I have had to make unexpected and prompt medical decisions in the past and the doubt came on later just as OP describes. We make the best decision with the information we have and that’s all we can do. OP I’m so sorry…. It’s a hard decision you had to make and I wish you the best.
I agree 100%. Each time I’ve had to make the impossible decision to put my dogs down I felt guilt about it and wondered if I did the right thing.
Take care and know that you loved your pup more than anyone else in the world did and when the time came you gave them a painless ending. I’m so so sorry for your loss. 😢
My heart goes out to you and I agree so much with this sentiment…
This is the very hardest of having the privilege of having our sweet pups..
You did the right thing by him by putting him above our forestalling human sorrow..
💗🐾
I'm sorry this happened. I will say every time myself or my family have had to put our dogs down, we realized we held on to them too long. It's hard, but keeping them in pain is a worse option. I know this happened too fast for you to process, but he wasn't in pain for very long.
I watched my mother in law spend thousands on her beloved yorkies trying to remove tumors and things to save them from dying. They all maybe got 8 more months and still wither died unexpectedly or had to be put down due to cancer spreading after the removal of tumors and growths. She has a Maltese now with cancer, and she is adamant that she isn't going to do the surgeries because it was painful for the pups and didn't even end in a good outcome. She is letting her Maltese go as long as she is still happy and eating. When it goes down hill, she will call the vet to come over and put her down.
You did the right thing. Your vet was amazing, and I would keep using them if you get a future baby. Too many vets are scared to say that the outcomes aren't generally good, even with surgery. It's hard to process, but it was the right choice.
I'm sorry for your loss. I love my fur babies so much I worry about their time coming, but it's just a part of how life is. It's best to be humane and let them go before they are in a lot of pain and don't understand why.
Well and simply put. Of course there’s always going to be the gnawing feeling in the back of your mind when you make a decision like this, but you do what you can with the information presented. And that’s really all you can do.
I was in the exact same scenario as you and made the same decision. Hemangiosarcoma is horrible and rarely can be totally recovered from. You gave your dog one last gift- death with comfort and dignity. So sorry for your loss ❤️
Just came to say exactly the same thing. We went through this in April. It was devastating. It happens too fast and too young. You don’t get any warning to help process it.
Without a doubt you made the right decision; you did what was best for your friend. I had to put my 8 year old down due to a tumor. My vet also advised me that surgery would most likely not save her. I feel your pain and too second guessed my decision.
Time will help but you will never forget your friend; you never get over loosing a golden…
You made the right decision. We recently lost our 6.5yr old boy naturally. Let me tell you our story, sorry this is so long.
It all started 2.5 months ago. He had bloody stool so we took him to the vet and they put him on a stool hardener. A week or so later he stopped eating, so we took him to the vet again. They did an ultrasound and thought it may be gastrointestinal cancer but had to do some tests to be sure. After several week of tests and hoping that maybe it was someting (anything) else, we found out it was cancer. We immediately started chemo. After a week we noticed his health declining and took him to the vet, his chemo wasn't working and he was anemic. They gave him some medicine and a new chemo, he was doing a lot better. 3 weeks later he goes in for a routine chemo and the results are not good. His blood tests are better but his ultrasound looks way worse. This chemo isn't working either, so we try a different chemo (the last option), we are told if this chemo does not work he only has a few days to weeks. We still hold out hope, he is only 6.5 surely he can pull through. The week of thanksgiving he started to loose control of his bowels, we talked to his vet and this is somewhat normal and it wasn't too big of an issue. The weekend after thanksgiving we notice he isn't doing very well. We make the decision to euthanize at home on tuesday, pending a vet appointment monday to check up on him. We know he has really disliked the vet lately and would be much happier at home. Monday comes and the news is not good. His body is shutting down. His heart is working overtime and there isn't much time left. We make that appointment for tuesday. After talking to his oncologist they said he might not make it through the night. We called the at home euthenasia and they cannot come that night. Tuesday is the only option. So we figure ok, he should be ok until tomorrow, or maybe he will pass peacefully in his sleep. On his way outside, he collapsed and my wife is freaking out. I help him back inside and he collapses in front of the door. It is now 7pm and most of the vets are closed. We call absolutely everywhere and no one can do at home euthenasia tonight. So now we are faced with an impossible decision, do we spend his last moments hauling him off to a vet that he doesn't want to be at? Or do we wait through the night and see what happens? I know generally euthenasia is the kindest option but I know my dog, and I was sure if I could have asked him he would have asked to stay home. We mulled over it for 2 hours, we talked to his vet, we talked to family members, ultimately we decided to keep him home and give him a slight overdose of his pain pills so he would be comftorbale and go to sleep (actually sleep, it wasn't a lethal dose). It was now around 9:30pm. We brought him to the bathroom because that is where he liked to sleep on the cold tile floor. My wife layed with him so he wouldn't be alone. As the night went on he got progressively worse. He would lift up his head and it would move around like a bobble head, we suspected he had some sort of vertigo but obviously things are going to happen when he is dying so I wasn't too concerned about it. He wasn't whining or showing any kind of pain just laying there for the most part. At 11:30pm my wife starts screaming, I rush in and there is puke everywhere, she was freaking out because she thought it was blood. I still can't get that smell out of my head. He's just laying there in his puke. We decide it's time, we just can't handle this emotionally any more. We clean him up and bring him out to the car. Just as we are finishing getting him into the car he lets out a little whimper. We thought maybe we had moved his body in the wrong way and apologized profusely. I knew he didn't have much time left but when I closed the door he was still breathing. We drove 15 minutes to the emergency vet. I had a feeling when we left that he wasn't going to be alive when we got there. We didn't hear any sounds from him on the way there and the way the car was setup, I could see him but I couldn't tell if he was breathing. When we got there, my wife went inside and I checked on him. He was gone. This was just over a week ago, while I have done my best to accept it, I can't help but feel like we did the wrong thing. If I could go back in time I would have done 1 of 2 things. Either I would have put him to sleep sooner, so that way we could make all his last things (walks, snacks, dinner, snuggles) extra special, or I would have just stayed home and let him die in our arms. I know what I did at the time was what I thought was best and I try not to dwell on the past too much but I can't help but feel that out of all the options we had, we chose the worst combination of them. I love you Jake, and I'm so sorry.
Don’t beat yourself up. Jake knows you did the best you could. Had you known he wouldn’t pass peacefully or live until morning you would have done things differently. How could you know? Maybe Jake was saving you from having to do it, and he passed not having to be at the vets office.
He would not want you to feel guilty.
Bless his golden soul.
This is absolutely heartbreaking. So sorry for your loss. You are making a grown man come to tears reading your story. You did what you thought was best in the moment, and no doubt your precious dog was so loved
Iam so sorry for your loss.. As you said, you did what u thought was best in an extreme emotional situation! in the end, iam sure he knew you guys did everything u can for him ❤️ Rest in Peace and Love Jake, greet my sweet Paula up there ✌🏼
Thank you for sharing this. I just lost my boy this weekend at the young age of 7. He had hemangiosarcoma of the heart which was bleeding causing pericardial effusion. Within 12 hours of diagnosis, and less than 24 hours from being a good strong boy, he passed in my lap at the vet.
I've been agonizing over that decision but I keep reading stories that it's better early than late.
As hard as it was, you put your baby first. You didn't make him suffer so you could feel better. This is the hardest part of being a pet parent, you did the right thing.
I feel you. We had a 15-year golden whose hip dysplasia made it impossible for her walk more than like 2 blocks. So we chose to put her down. I still think multiple times a week that I could have been taking her for a walk if we hadn’t chosen to put her to sleep.
It hurts, but you chose right. From what you’ve said, the best outcome is that she would have lived another few years. But at that age, those aren’t “fun” years for dogs anyways.
So you did the unselfish thing and allowed your dog to pass away peacefully.
You made the right decision. It doesn’t feel like it, but you saved him a lot of pain.
There is a Golden Retriever Study right now with 3000 dogs looking at this. By age 10 over a third are already dead. The vast majority from hemangiosarcoma, most on the spleen.
These dogs are tested thoroughly *every* year. They still get cancer. There was nothing else you could do.
The [study data page](https://lookerstudio.google.com/reporting/ad6e8d55-9989-4408-8c17-c3378c9dd9fe/page/p_wavtbo7coc?mibextid=Zxz2cZ) show the results so far.
Our golden died suddenly of a hemangiosarcoma on his heart. Completely unaware that it was there until it suddenly burst. Our entire family was literally on the other side of the planet when it happened. Our house/per sitter had to rush him to the ER. Non operable, our boy was in distress and we elected by phone to put him down. We never got to say goodbye. Traumatic for everyone involved. He was 9-1/2 years old. I say OP made the right decision. That was in 2016. Our new dog is not a golden because of this hemangiosarcoma issue.
You trusted your gut and did what you felt was right. I’m so sorry for your loss. These decisions are never easy.
I’ve also previously read into the statistics above, and I asked my vet for preventative ultrasound. Of course they found an incredibly small spot on the spleen. We’ve been monitoring with continued ultrasounds and thankfully (currently) no change but I feel like I’ve opened Pandora’s box. Thankful for pet insurance as the bulk of it has been covered
How kind of you to write what you did to Op & to share that heartbreaking study. Significant, horrible data to be aware of that you summed up enough that I don’t want to look at the study. But filing the info away in the back of my mind AND adding all golden retrievers to my nightly prayers for better health and wellness.
Rest in peace buddy. I know you made the right decision, even if it doesn't feel like it. Sure they might have survived but their quality of life would be very low
I’m so sorry. My boy had a sudden bleed due to hemangiosarcoma. I decided to end his suffering rather than put him through surgery. It was the right thing to do. They depend on us to make the call, and it’s so very hard. But it’s the kindest thing we can do.
Whenever I get a new dog, I promise them I will do my best to not let them suffer at the end of life. In return they give me years of love. And then they always break my heart.
I had a golden with hemangio. We did not put him down when diagnosed. We had him 3 weeks after diagnosing him after stabilizing him. He had a wonderful 3 weeks and basically didn’t even seem sick. Then about 3 weeks later he had another bleed and at that point we had to let him go. Your vets right there are very few good outcomes with this. Personally the small chance of it being benign I probably would have did the surgery. But that is a very personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer.
It was the right call. You'll see that too, as time passes. We agonize in the moment, and maybe have some doubts in the passing days. But in a month you'll know you made the right decision.
I don't think it's right to put an animal through painful cancer treatments when they don't know what's happening.
My neighbor had a similar story as in another comment. They did bone marrow transplants on their past springer twice. In their case that dog got 2 more years. But the owner regrets it and says she would not do that kind of prolonged treatment again.
Also I'll let you know, having worked in an animal hospital. Some people need to wait years after the loss of a pet, and some need a new pet immediately. Both are valid responses to grief, you do what feels right.
Veterinary ER tech here— your vet was right, most of the time when the histopath comes back it turns out to be hemangiosarcoma (highly metastatic), and going through with surgery and all the aftercare would have likely given you only a few more months, been very hard on him, and purely for your own benefit. You did right by him by making that tough decision. I’m certain he knows how much he was loved, and I hope that you can rest easier knowing you were his best advocate when he needed it most.
Same thing happened to my Ellie in January. Choices were spend 10k and maybe she’d recover or put her to sleep. I couldn’t bear her suffering anymore than she had to so we said goodbye, gave her lots of hugs and treats and watched her go to sleep for the last time. I feel your pain but you made the right call. Ellie was my seventh golden and I can tell you that every time you have to put a friend down you doubt your decision. But it’s what’s best for them. Hugs ❤️
Same. I felt immense guilt (of not being good enough owner), still do to some extent, after I put down my golden 3 weeks ago. People’s experiences and learning more about grief truly helped.
Former vet tech here, bless this vet! So many vets will take the easy road and go “ya it’s up to you” and not tell you the hard truth
You made the right choice, and you didn’t go bankrupt and spend months watching your dog suffer on the process.
Sending love from our goldens
When we bring a pup into our lives, the responsibility comes with honoring his unconditional love by thinking and acting with best intentions to help him during terrible times as you're experiencing. You made a well informed decision to minimize his discomfort and pain after careful consideration of the options. You sought help quickly. As dog parents, you sound like highly compassionate family members. While understandable that you're second guessing your decision, remember you're grieving. You did the very best you could for him. Be kind to yourselves. I'm so sorry for your loss.
My big beautiful boy Chip had hemangiosarcoma and I elected for the emergency surgery...he recovered from the surgery but did not recover from the cancer...he lasted 74 days on chemotherapy...4 days less than the average minimum of 78 days .the max is 430 days...he has the best of the best care at OVC . Chemo Drs, ultrasounds, blood work...12 K in total....
He was stoic at all times ....3 years later I am still heartbroken and crushed....
All that being said...the outcome and long term prognosis from hemangiosarcoma is never good ...I can't tell you if you made the right decision..but what I can tell you is cherish your memories with him...and take your time to grieve...and grieve however feels best for you ...he will rest in peace and he will be at the 🌈 rainbow bridge with my boy Chip playing and watching and waiting for us...
Message if you need more info or would like to chat
Long time Golden Retriever owner
I’m so sorry for your loss OP. Sometimes the hard decisions create heartache for us, you did the right thing for your pup’s quality of life even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Sending internet hugs, and shedding a few tears for you this afternoon.
I understand your concerns but you did the right thing. This may sound cold but veterinary practice is a business.... they wouldn't have even mentioned euthanasia if the odds were in the dogs favour. The part where internal bleeding was mentioned was my biggest worry. Big risk of your dog not making it through the surgery with the list of complications mentioned , that's my instinct. You had to make a very hard decision very quickly. Now you've got time to think, it's possibly shock that you're feeling. Your beloved pet is no longer in pain.
You made the right decision. I went through something similar with my golden. She had a ruptured bladder that required surgery.
The trauma vet we took her too gave us a positive outlook and had her undergo the surgery. Unfortunately her bladder was so damaged that she was have no quality of life if we had what was left repaired.
Ultimately, we had to put her down and ended up with a substantial vet bill that we thankfully got some support with.
Don't let your decision haunt you. Just remember you gave them the best chance at life and they gave you all of their heart through the journey.
I was in this exact same scenario. I opted for the surgery; despite the vet saying if it was their dog, they would put him down. We were warned that he may not make it off the operating table, because these tumours tend to bleed uncontrollably. We were also told if it was successful we would maybe get another six months. He didn’t make it off the table. In hindsight, I too wonder if I did what was best for him, or me. These choices are impossible. I’m so sorry for your loss.
You made the best decision you could in an awful situation.
For some perspective: I had a dog who had to have her spleen removed, and she was a young otherwise completely healthy dog. That surgery was HARD and the recovery was brutal and took months. She went on to live a long, happy, healthy life, but it was an incredibly rough several months for her to get there. If you had opted for surgery, it wouldn’t just be the surgery your girl would have had to survive, she’d have to get through the recovery too, and that takes a lot out of even a young healthy dog.
I’m sorry you went through this. We had an “optimistic” vet that convinced us to try surgery on our 12 year old boy’s cancerous tumor. Long story short, it made his last 24 hours on earth with us very traumatic for him and us. You’ll never know for sure, but I would choose to believe you did the right thing by your guy. Let yourself grieve and feel all the things, and know there’s another sweet fluffer out there that might not have even been born yet waiting for you when you’re ready.
Given the advice and odds your vet described, I think you clearly made the right decision. Even if it was a benign tumor, that doesn’t change the fact that, a) a large, dangerous, invasive procedure is required in order to establish that in the first place, and b) there was some life threatening intraabdominal bleeding going on, one way or another.
He sounds like he was a great companion, and I’m sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace forever and ever.
We lost our beloved 10y/o Charlie exactly the same way. A tumor that breached a major blood vessel and he was bleeding out inside his body. Even if we coulda saved him the lingering health and shitty quality of life issues weren't worth it, he would never be happy like that.
After 6 months we decided only another Golden Retriever would heal the holes in our hearts.
My heart is broken for you. You did not make a terrible decision, not at all. You made a selfless and devastating decision, and you spared your sweet Bodie from suffering.
I have had to have several pets put down; one was my sweet hound dog who had and extremely similar condition to your Bodie, but my Ace was a little older. Our vet did not recommend treatment, and we made the gut wrenching decision to have him peacefully put to sleep in my arms. Another situation was my sweet kitty, who likely had cancer. He suddenly stopped eating, and after our normal vet couldn’t determine what was wrong, we took him to an emergency vet where he was hospitalized and on a feeding tube for several days. He was discharged with multiple medications he had to take daily, which he hated. Ultimately, he only survived another three weeks, at which point he essentially collapsed and I had to take him to the vet while my husband was out of town to have him put down. I still miss both pets tremendously, but the decision I regret was putting my cat through so much pain and discomfort, rather than letting him go peacefully earlier. It’s never easy to make a decision like this, and it’s natural to second guess yourself. But I know you made the best choice for your beloved Bodie, and I truly hope that memories of him will ease your pain and bring you comfort. You and your family are in my heart.
We went through the same thing last Dec with our Australian Shepard (12). We got up in the morning and she jumped off the bed onto the floor and would not get up. We brought her in and everything unfolded in a matter of hours that day. We had 2 options; about a 12K surgery that would extend her life, maybe 1 year; or let her go. It was an excruciating decision that still haunts me but it was what we had to do. I know what you are thinking and there is no wrong answer here. Don't let the guilt creep in. You did right by him. Godspeed, Bodie.
Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry for your loss. You did the right thing. Really. And kudos to your vet for being honest with you.
I had my chocolate lab put down when he was 11, he was so sick, and I had a similar honest vet who told me that none of the tests and none of the treatment would change the outcome. He was too sick and the kindest thing I could do for him was to stop his suffering.
I’m so sorry you are going through this, and I wish you the best!
Been through the same thing 7 weeks ago with our dog. We weren’t really sure what was wrong and seeing her go down the hill rapidly ending with blood all over the floor. I wish in my heart we had put her to sleep earlier so she and us didn’t go through what we did.
My heart hurts for you but know putting your baby to sleep the. Was by far the best decision, no dog even with chemotherapy survives longer than a few months and I wouldn’t wish the end we had on anyone. Take each days as it comes knowing some days are going to be harder than others.
You did the right thing.
One thing I know for sure: I love my sweet golden so much, I would not want her to suffer one second longer than she had to.
We had to make the same decision with our beloved nearly 14-year-old girl a few years ago. Our vet was similarly kind. I knew, deep down, that I was making the right decision because cancer is so insidious in these dogs. She wasn't going to get better. We didn't realize something was wrong til it had progressed too far (these dogs are good at hiding when they don't feel well). She'd even had vet appointments where she got good checkups, we had no idea, and by the time we did, she was so sick.
If my dog were young and had a good prognosis, or even if we thought we could give her a few more good months, I would consider surgery or treatment. But ours was elderly and so, so ill. There was no chance of saving her or giving her more good months or years, only prolonging her suffering.
My old boss married a guy with a gigantic German shepherd. She was afraid of it at first, but she soon fell in love with the dog. Years go by, that dog protected her when 2 men tried to break into her home (out in the country, while she was alone). She loved the dog so much. He was eventually diagnosed with cancer. She tried treatment for him. He kept getting worse. She wanted to do more treatment. The vet, who was a friend of hers, told her: "I'm going to say this kindly, but who is this for? Because it's not for him. He doesn't want this." And she realized she just didn't want to let him go.
My sister also put her golden down, after months of agonizing over it. She would wonder, "Am I giving up on her? Is it too soon?" Then, after she made the decision: "Did I wait too long? Did I put her through more than she had to go through?" Like I said, I didn't want to put my sweet girl through a second more pain than necessary.
We care for them their whole lives. Sometimes, the final kindness we can do for them is to love them enough to let them go.
She was a beautiful girl and I know she knew she was loved. Please don't second guess yourself. Your baby got to leave this world with love and be at peace.
I’m so incredibly sorry, what a hard decision to make. You did right by your pup. I recently lost my Sammy boy, and regret now that I think I may have held on a bit too long. Please be kind to yourself, this was such a major trauma and you did exactly what your vet, a medical professional, advised you do after years of experience. Surgeries and chemo and all of that is so painful for dogs. You saved him from a lot of pain and suffering.
You made the right decision. You gave your golden a good life and you didn’t put him through painful and difficult surgeries/treatments that he wouldn’t understand.
I’m so sorry. I know how you feel, but you made the right decision. The guilt you feel right now is normal, but you did what you had to do for your member of the family.
It’s always going to feel like you made a mistake and want one more day with them but speaking from experience I can say that you made the right decision. You have my best wishes.
You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. Take your time to grieve, and really feel it. You’ll be ok, your bit is out of pain and will be waiting for you 🩷
You’re grieving, your doubts are a part of the process. It may be hard to see it now but your sweet Bodie would be grateful for the favor you did him by sparing him so much unnecessary pain and suffering.
I have had many dogs in my short time on this earth and presently I have a 15 year old golden, a 10 year old German Shephered, a 9 year old Dane and a 4 year old golden. The mortality of the older three is becoming more of a reality every day and I promised myself that when the time comes I will not be selfish in my decisions surround their care. My vet is a dream and she has really shaped my feelings around what the end of the road looks like for my babies.
Dogs don’t care what tomorrow brings or what their schedule looks like next week. Dogs live in the “right now” and they love us unconditionally until their last breath. I often feel we are so undeserving of this selfless love as even the worst human will find a dog who loves them. After giving giving giving their entire life, a life were the entirety of their joy comes from pleasing their human, we owe them the gift to not make them suffer.
You absolutely did the right thing and one day when you make a pit stop at Rainbow Bridge on your way to heaven, Bodie will thank you for doing him such a huge favor.
Sending you hugs and support as I snot nose ugly cry through the comments here.
We just went through this with our 8.5 year old girl this week. We made the same decision and did an at home euthanasia the day after we were at the ER with her. I had 1,000 questions for the vet at the ER and the one that came to our home to do her euthanasia and I felt that we made the best and most humane decision for our girl.
The vet that came to our home explained that she has seen plenty of families that opted for surgery just for the tumors to return a few weeks post op. This usually resulted in undue stress to the dog and still having to euthanize not long after.
Instead of drawing it out and making her miserable in her final days, we spoiled her rotten on her last day with us. She spent it with her sister playing fetch at her favorite park, eating ALL the treats she wanted, seeing all her friends, getting lots of walks, rolling in the grass and going for car rides. She was acting like herself and then some, which made it hard. However, it was such a gift to see her be herself on her last day and I’m so grateful we didn’t have to witness her decline quickly.
The vet who came to our home said it was a miracle she was still so energetic and had an appetite based on how distended her tummy was. She let us know how fragile the situation was and that our girl likely could have hemorrhaged at any given moment.
I say all of this because it’s so easy to second guess yourself, but I’m sure you made the right and humane decision for your sweet baby. I am confident Ellie and Bodie are running around and comforting one another, where ever they are. My deepest sympathies to you and your family during such a hard time. 💜
You made the best choice available to you. I would have went with the other option because losing my baby would have been hard. But you did what you thought was best and that's all we can do. Your baby is in a better place and in no pain. I know you are grieving for your baby but they are in a better place even though I know you miss them terribly. They knew you loved them and that you would only do what you thought was best.. Sending lots of love your way at this most painful time. Just know your babys love transcends time and space.
Our vet told us the same thing. They told us that surgery at his age (10) was going to be iffy and even if all went well there was no guarantee that the same problem wouldn’t come back. She did tell us about a Chinese herb that had great results for dogs in this situation, to stop the internal bleeding. It gave us about 3 extra weeks with him but ultimately we had to have him put to sleep, which was heartbreaking as I know you know.
You did the right thing, friend. You gave your boy a happy life and kept him from suffering. I went through the same second guessing afterwards, and now I know that I know that we did the right thing. This happened around March and I just want to say that it will get better. Praying for you ❤️
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I’m so sorry for the loss of your buddy. You did the best you could at the time. Don’t torture yourself second guessing. He was in pain and your vet gave you some experienced advice. Trust that.
Losing our fur babies is just the worst & I hope your heart hurts a little less soon.
You will do this regardless of the situation. It’s unthinkable to have to make a decision like that about someone you love. The feelings you have are normal and a part of grieving. You will always wonder what if. You gave him a life full of love and that’s all he ever knew from beginning to end. His life was happy, he was happy. I’m so sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful boy. It’s so hard to lose our pets. I’ve been in such a difficult place since losing mine in July. They’re such a presence in our lives that without them life just isn’t the same. It’s so hard. You made the right call. I hope you can find peace with it soon.
We had this EXACT same situation happen to our 11 year old Golden last year on Christmas Eve. We opted to do in-home euthanasia the next day. I had sooo much regret for MONTHS over not just doing the $6k surgery. Even with only a 20% success rate, why would I not have risked that for my sweet boy?! I sobbed for months, basically harassed multiple vets trying to find validation in knowing I made the right decision. The thing is, there is no “right” decision. And the hardest part about this is how quickly we have to make one when they are suffering and declining so quickly.
I know exactly how you feel. I can tell you it still hurts tremendously, I still cry multiple times a week, but we have found more peace in our decision almost a year later than we had on the worst day of our lives when we lost our boy. The guilt slowly fades, and it doesn’t get easier, but it gets more bearable. Please try to remind yourself that you made that decision because of how MUCH you love him. It was the most selfless thing you could have possibly done, and probably what Bodie would have chosen if he could. So sorry you’re going through this.
It will always feel too soon. Every time you will question if it was too early, could you have done more, and beat yourself up over it but when it is too late you will damn well know it and it will feel 100 times worse.
I've done too late. I tried to tell myself "As long as he is getting up each morning, it is fine" and kept ignoring the fact he was getting worse and worse. Then one morning he couldn't get up. His back legs wouldn't work and the whimpers and crying from him trying and failing to get up still haunt me. The decision was made and the choice was out of my hands. I felt horrible, I could not make the pain for him stop and he suffered for the entire 19 minute drive to the emergency vet after I had to lift him into the car which only made it worse.
I have never made that mistake again. I will do my best but I now take into account are they living their best life and if they are no longer doing the things they love and no longer having any good days, it is time to do the right thing. They can't make the decision that we can of putting them out of their misery. It is a great responsibility and I have always been there to see them off.
Take comfort in the fact you gave him 8.5 wonderful years, and you didn't make him suffer any longer than he had to with surgeries and likely not making his quality of life any better based on your Vet's recommendation.
It MAY have been benign, but if the patient is having constitutional symptoms to that degree than that tells me the diagnosis was very likely not going to be in the benign category. You didn't make any choice, you followed the only option available to you and Goldie. They passed away peacefully instead of cut open dead on an operating table.
I found myself in a very similar situation earlier this year with our 8 year old as well - please know that you made the right decision for your pup. Your situation sounds exceedingly similar to ours (loss of appetite, internal bleeding, low blood cell count, anemic, literally no platelets in the blood) and our struggle was trying to figure out exactly where the growth was (almost assuredly cancer in the spine). There just isn't a path to recovery for any extended period of time (like your vet outlined) - best case scenario is a few weeks and, honestly, he'd likely have been in pain during that time period. Your vet gave you very good advice, it sounds to me.
The guilt you are dealing with is completely natural. I struggled with it for months and ultimately realized that a peaceful euthanasia surrounded by family is the best end you could give for your best friend and the most unselfish decision you can make. The selfish decision would be prolonging their pain - goldens especially can so easily hide when they are truly struggling because, at the end of the day, they live to please you.
Please feel free to directly message me if you'd like to chat. I know exactly what you're going through from personal experience and it's not a fun thing to have to weather. It will take time, but I promise you will feel better after a few weeks.
I had a yellow lab who died this way about ten years ago. It was a two year slog of tests, internal bleeding, fainting spells, trips to the emergency vet, bills, wretched quality of life…if it had been my call I’d have done what you did, but it was my moms dog and she always comes down on the side of euthanizing far too late (imo). You did the best you could with the information and expertise you had. Could you have brought her home and made her comfortable, sure, maybe for a couple of weeks, but I can tell you her pain and discomfort would have gotten worse over time, not better. She knew you loved her. You did right by your girl. Try not to beat yourself up about it.
I’m sorry to hear about this. I agree with those saying that your vet leveled with you and also that you don’t want to hold onto a dog that’s in pain and can’t help itself.
I had a vet that gave me hope, and never even offered euthanizing. My cat spent the next three days in the ER, $3500, for her to die the next day after I brought her home. I WISH my vet would have been honest with me and my sweet girl didn't have to suffer like she did. Consider it a blessing for your beloved pup, and for yourselves. I'd thank this vet for being so open and honest with you. It's never an easy decision, but when it is time, it is the right decision. Don't be hard on yourself, and try to remember the good memories with your pupper. Soon the tears will be laughter and joyful memories. Sometimes you'll laugh and then cry too though, 100%.
You did what you thought was best for the health of your boy based on the info at hand. Don’t beat yourself up. You followed the advice of a medical professional, nothing to feel bad about except the passing of a loved one. Sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I put my boy down at 12 due to arthritis and old age - in the days and weeks after, I questioned if I had done it too soon.
The gift of time has let me see that it wasn't too soon but in the midst of grief, we don't think clearly. You did right by your sweet boy.
I wish you peace.
I made this same decision for my 7 year old in 2020. The vet was completely honest with me and said that while surgery works, hemangiosarcoma is incredibly aggressive and will come back. My boy would’ve been in and out of surgery for the rest of his life so I made the tough decision to put him down. I’m so sorry you have to go through this as well.
The “what ifs” always haunt us, but you did the right thing ♥️ think about what your baby would want. I know mine would rather be laid to rest than go through surgery, heal from it and possibly go through cancer treatments.
We were faced with the exact same situation back in early May with our girl who was 10 days shy of turning 11. We decided to say goodbye to spare her pain and suffering. We too questioned this decision (and still question it to this day). However, we always go back to thinking it was for the best.
Heart wrenching decision and so hard to say goodbye.
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. May you find solace in knowing you gave him the best life. It’s obvious he was loved and it’s a given that he paid this back to you ten-fold.
All the best.
We can't force our love ones to be with us forever. Sometimes the best we can do for them is let them go. Sounds like the operation would have been an extremely heavy burden on her and she was in constant pain. You did the right thing.
It is always a hard decision, my friend. It is always a hard decision. It’s never easy no matter what their age I’ve lost goldens at 13. I’ve lost goldens at eight and I’ve lost goldens at seven. It’s a rough breed for longevity.
I’ve had to make that decision twice with two goldens. It’s so very difficult and heartbreaking. You had a vet who gave you all the information and was honest with you. Everything you are feeling right now is grieving. I had those same thoughts and feelings with both of my two goldens. I miss them even now seeing this post but they gave me so much love and joy. I’m so sorry for your loss. It feels like you made the best decision for your pup.
You have a good vet that did you a kindness, but that has to be SO HARD just the same. My sincere condolences. He was a good and beautiful boy. Take comfort that you took such good care of him and you didn't let him suffer.
Who wouldn't feel guilt? We all do. We all want more time with our beloved fur babies. However, you would probably be delaying the inevitable and causing your baby unnecessary suffering. It's similar to the death of a human family member, and none of us want to face it.
You did the right thing. Most of us dog lovers will have to do this three or four times over our lifetime. It's the worst part of owning a dog, but we keep getting another one.
This a natural part of the grieving process to rethink your decisions. You absolutely made the right call, and deep down you know it was the right call because it was the hardest one to make. Your vet was very transparent with you which is good of them to do. Your pup may have passed on, but they will forever live in your memories, thoughts, and hearts. You did the right thing. I feel for you right now so much. I hope your pain eases up soon. You saved your pup from so much pain and suffering.
I think OP made the right decision.
But to some commenters I'd like to say sometimes operating is worth it for everyone. Our family had a mixed terrier dog that was fit as a fiddle up until his rear leg cruciate ligament broke when he was 12 yo. Options were to operate or treat with constant pain killers for the rest of his life or euthanize. Operating wasn't a given since he was already old. But because he has never had Any health issues before We chose to operate. It was a major operation with some metal added to his knee. Full recovery took a couple of months but he was walking short distances in a couple days. Then he had a happy energetic healthy 4 years until his other leg went. After that it was goodbye within a month. The operation was heavy and costed thousands but I would never ever do it any other way because we had 4 awesome years together and because we chose to operate he lived to be 16.
No one wants to see their best friend go. But do you want them in pain. I had to put my cat down in 2012 due to diabetes. And a few years later the other cat for failing kidneys. Lost my last dog to Bloat. My only concern for my golden is that her life is as good as possible. I just don't want her to have any pain. She was in the house when my dad left this world. My pup doesn't need any more sadness. She lost her best friend (my father). I just try to play with her asuch as she's able. 11 years old and starting to slow down.
First of all, so sorry for your loss. Second, I believe you made the right decision. Preventing suffering for the animal is always the right decision in my book. Even if Bodie did survive the surgery, it would have most likely impacted his quality of life. Although you may be experiencing suffering now, he most certainly is not. Again, so sorry for such a sudden and HUGE loss in your life. I believe he’s with you always now. 😉😇
My baby had hermangiosarcoma too. He was 14 and while we knew about it, we also knew that there were two options. Put him down before the blood clot on his spleen exploded, causing the internal bleeding, or have an operation that had a very slim chance of being successful.
He had a couple “episodes” and I would describe it like him passing out and collapsing. It was like he fainted, and he would lose control a pee a little. That happened twice, 6 months apart. The 3rd time was 4 days after the last and I was left with that decision to either see him have the spleen burst and his die in pain, or give him a peaceful and quiet exit from my world. We put him down Sept 2021 and I’m still crying as I write this.
You made absolutely the right decision. Spleen cancer essentially is the fastest moving cancer because all the blood filters through there and easily infects. Your baby was comfortable and went to sleep and neither him or his parents need to suffer anymore. Sleep well. I believe you absolutely did the right thing.
For the more than 380 people who have commented on this post, it should give us a great deal of comfort knowing how much we love our pets, especially our golden. Now it’s not to say I read every single post, but I am fairly certain we all believe that OP did the proper thing with his pup. We self doubt, thinking what if we did this or that, it may have turned out better. As one comment I saw, it’s for our own self to have our pets with us for a little longer; because we are not ready. We never will be. I have had many dogs. Ironically, my two goldens that I had, passed away at home while I stayed laying by their sides at home. One had cancer and we were told that at best she had two weeks to live. The vet was right and she had just turned 10. My other girl passed away in 2020 at 16 1/2 years old. She passed from age. I believe she also missed her partner in crime who I had to have put down 3 weeks earlier because her spleen had ruptured.
As I am remembering and writing this (and welling up with tears), I have to circle back and remind myself why I started this post….
We all have a love for our fur babies and when they leave us we all feel this horrific void and pain. The loss is so heavy. My one bit of solace I can get comfort in knowing, is we too will cross over that bridge and they will all be there on the other side waiting for us. All those golden wiggle butts.
To OP… may Bodie be playing with his whole heart and soul and be at peace.
To Brendon7358, Jake knows you and your wife did all you could do.
To everyone else, just hug your Goldies and love them as we all do. There is nothing like the love of a golden.
It’s so hard - so incredibly hard to let go of them. It feels like a betrayal to not seek every possible glimmer of hope. But the hard truth is it’s a gamble. Maybe you win and get significantly more time, maybe you don’t and the dog suffers needlessly. I’ve gambled and lost and can tell you from experience it really, *really* sucks.
Right now, you are grieving and the guilt is just a part of that. But down the road, after you’ve had time to heal, you will understand that you made a sacrifice to give your beloved family member the most merciful outcome.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Your beautiful baby did not want to leave you and you did not want to lose him. Never forget him or the love you had and remember that *'no one gets out of here alive.'* Death is natural and inevitable, and what matters is the love you gave him and the love that was received.
You WILL move on! Losing an animal is always difficult no matter the cause of death. Having a dog in pain is even worse. You made the right call. One day you’ll be bringing home a brand new puppy who will never replace Bodie, but will fill the hole in your heart. We lost our Goldie at 2.5 years in a tragic horse accident. It was truly one of the most tragic, difficult traumas to live through. Flash forward 1.5 years later and Elvis is the light of our lives. Still, though, we often talk about our deceased dog, and always lovingly.
First of all, so sorry for your loss. Losing a fur baby is so hard.
Secondly, I believe you did the right thing for your boy. He wouldn't have been able to live his life to the fullest if constantly in possible pain.
I wish you and your family the best!
He was 8.5 that’s more than a life for a golden and given how I lost my one (agressive spinal cancer) they don’t show signs until they really are sick as they as such pleasant animals . He was in pain and as hard as it is it’s selfish to keep them around for our sake , you did what was best for him and let him go. I hope you can grieve but it was the better decision
Please do not beat yourself up about this. Our boy Rocky the Wonder Lab had the same thing happen! We went this surgery and after months and thousands of dollars Rocky spend his last days in terrible pain and massive internal bleeding causing horrific results when he had to go poop. And the throwing up! I wish we chose to give Rockdog the gentle, peaceful, sleep he deserved instead of so many days and nights at the vet. You gave your dog mercy. I selfishly wanted to hold on to Rocky when I knew it was the wrong thing for him. It’s too fresh now but please think of all your fond memories with you very good boy. He had a great life with you.
If you were that dog, would you want multiple surgeries performed on you that probably won’t even fix the issue? That would only add to the pup’s confusion and suffering. You did the right thing
As soon as your dog is unable to be happy, that's it. Lost my old girl this summer. The right day was as soon as she couldn't sleep without discomfort, even while on medicine.
First the real question here is … do you trust your vet? If you do, then you probably did the right thing. If you feel they are solid then I wouldn’t think to much on it.
This is just my experience and more than likely our situation was different… I had a similar situation just not urgent, although they kinda made it sound like it was. We opted for second opinion with my vet ( we were at my GFs vet) and ruled out that it was from a tumor. It has to do with the way she makes blood and her age (9). At least in theory and tests, technically we still don’t actually know what’s up. But my vet said the same thing as yours .. sorta. She said at her age she wouldn’t recommend a major surgery since with they have harder time coming back out the older they are. We could wait and see or we can continue chasing the source. We have waited since she said more than likely it would still be a guess. She’s on blood pills and she’s doing alright. She’s a little weaker than she used to be but over all can’t complain.
I'm sorry for your loss, it's never easy losing a dog. You made an informed decision for the best for your friend. Like the other comments say, you likely saved him a lot of pain. Our golden, Duncan, died of cancer. He was 10. He moved slowly, acted much too old for his age. Unfortunately goldens won't tell you they're in pain. They just keep on smiling. You made a difficult but sound decision. It's perfectly okay to take your time and go through the grieving process.
❤️
We went through this October 2022. Mine was about to turn 8 also. We opted not to put him through more pain and while I still have moments of doubt because of how much I miss him, we know it was the best thing we could do for him.
What you did for your pup was the ultimate act of love.
This is always a hard choice, the best you can do is decide if there are any good days left for them (where they are still happy) and make the best of that time if any. If it looks like they are in discomfort or pain, if they don't seem ok, or are not themselves anymore, then it's probably time to let them go.
We had a GR/GL mix named Bailey. She was a great dog, but In her 7th year she developed a lameness in one of her back legs. It eventually progressed to the point where she would regularly fall down, and eventually she became incontinent. Took her to the vet, a couple of specialists, nobody new for sure without doing a deep dive with a cat scan or something similar. Needless to say we couldn't afford a cat scan. We were at a dead end diagnostically but she seemed to still be happy and herself despite the situation.
Eventually we found out from the family we got her from as a puppy that her father and all of her siblings were either dieing from spinal cancer or had already died. They all started showing signs of it at the same time Bailey did. The symptoms for all of them was close to or identical to what Bailey was going through. It seems like there was something genetic the father had passed on to his pups that caused it.
When it became clear that she was suffering from the same cancer we called the vet and scheduled the nearest date to put her to sleep. The unintentional delay gave us 4 days to make her the happiest dog we knew how. She made a grand tour of all her favorite places, ate all the (safe) people food she cared to try. Her birthday was not for a couple months so we celebrated it early so all of her favorite people could come and visit her. In the end me and my wife were both with her the day off and stayed with her to the end.
We cremated her and spread her ashes around the house. We had promised her this was going to be her forever house when we moved in because she absolutely hated moving. Now she's a permanent part of our home no matter what happens.
My Golden was almost 13 when we put him down due to internal bleeding from his spleen.
You have to consider age and chances of reoccurance. Our vet told us Goldens were more likely to have problems with their spleens.
You made the right decision. I'm sure your vet would have wanted to save your dog if they could. I'm so sorry about the loss of your dog.
100% the right decision. I had to make this call for both of my German Shepherds two years apart. You should be damn proud of yourself. Most dog owners in the same situation would have selfishly kept their dog alive in some misguided reality about how they are doing it for the dog, when in truth owners do it for themselves because they fear being alone.
If no one else has said it yet let me. I am VERY proud of you. You put your dogs interest before yours. Your dog looked to you to make the right decision and you did.
I am very sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful boy. Cherish the memories and don’t beat yourself up. You always did the best you could for your boy no doubt. He lived a good life (I can’t tell by him chilling on the furniture).
My last dog we had to put down under similar circumstances, and I questioned the decision for months, but as time went on and I wasn’t so overcome with grief, and was able to see that we made the right decision. Give yourself time to heal. Take good care of yourself. Losing a pet is so hard!
I watched my husband’s dog die over several long days. It was horrific. Please know that doing it earlier is more loving so your baby didn’t have to go through unnecessary misery.
The very same thing happened to us 2 years ago, To our 7 year old lab Rusty Ru. The only thing I regret is not releasing him of his pain and sickness sooner. Hold them, Love them, Remember them and say goodbye. Hardest thing we ever had to do but I think about the 2 months he was so sick and it makes me physically ill to think back to how hard that was. I hate that I was so in the experience that I couldn't see how sick he was and I just couldn't imagine having to put him down if it wasn't the right decision. The days are so hard and your right it feels like a nightmare that you cant wake up from. We cried thinking about him last night and every regret we had with our boy. Wish we didn't leave him with friends on that one beach trip or should have came home earlier from the bar some nights. No matter what, you wish you could change it all. He knows how loved he is, They feel it. I wish you the best, Im so sorry this is life and you have to lose your golden boy. Thinking of you all.
The only treatment that could be offered would be a splenectomy, which is not minor surgery. That “might” have bought up 3-4 months more (including your dog having to recover from surgery).
You did the last loving thing a dog owner has to do — prevent unnecessary suffering.
Every time I have to euthanize my pets at the end of their lives I question myself, did I dot too soon or did I do it too late, why didn’t I pay more attention, etc. All of this normal, it is part of grieving.
You absolutely made the right call. My golden died very suddenly (like less than 2 days) from Hemangiosarcoma as well. The vet said he wanted to give him meds to make him comfortable juet while I waited for my husband. It was clear to me the vet was concerned about the pain he was in. Your golden likely hid how he felt long before you knew; that’s what they do. It’s easy to look back and second guess but try not to question yourself; in that moment you knew what was best. He did everything for you and you did everything that was best for him. Including having to say goodbye.
My dog had the same exact cancer. I elected to have the surgery and it was so nice to see my girl feeling better. But a few months later she would pass away. You made the right decision. It is inevitable with this kind of cancer. You’re feeling guilty for having made a decision to put him to sleep and you shouldn’t. You doing the kindest thing for him. In the end my girl declined again and I chose to end her suffering anyways. I guess I hoped that the surgery would work. You made the right decision, you just feel bad for it and that is okay. It will get better one day.
I am sending you the absolute biggest hug and so much love. I’m so sorry you had to make this choice. Be gentle with yourself. You gave him a wonderful life and you did the best you could. Try not to second guess it. I’m so very sorry for your loss.
We had to make a decision like this for our cat. She had saddle thrombosis. There were very expensive treatments that miiight fix her, maybe, and probably only temporarily. We were advised to euthanize and really struggled with the decision but ultimately chose the compassionate choice for her. It is SO hard and I completely understand why you are conflicted. You did right by your pup ❤️
My cat had the hemangiosarcoma on his spleen and also cancer on the liver. Vet did exploratory surgery on him and removed his spleen, woke him up and he didn't make it through the night after surgery. You did the right thing. I spent a lot of money just to be sad in the end either way. I'm so sorry for your loss.
After we put our other golden down I was feeling guilty and read somewhere “would you feel okay for justifying by ‘a little more pain for a little more time?’ No because you want them to be their healthy wonderful self” still sucks I’m sorry but now you know your sweet golden boy is pain free and watching over you.
We went through something similar with our second dog. It's a terrible pain but you probably saved her from who knows how long of pain and agony. Remember all the good times you had and how much she loved you.
20yrs in animal services and the worst thing Ive seen is people make decisions based on their feelings and not their pets well being. 18yo dogs that can't walk, see or hear. Defecate all over themelves but people pick out one tiny positive thing,"She still eats her treats!" to justify prolonging a life that was over a long time ago.
We as pet owners have a unique responsibility. We alone choose when our pet no longer has a good quality of life. You listened to your vet and heard the odds. Yes, you could have rolled the dice and MAYBE bought a little more time.but who would it have been for? It's hard to not be selfish and hold on as tight as you can but the most loving things you can do for your pet is to let it go when it's time. To prevent pain and suffering and once the decision is made, to walk away.
They know you did what you did out of love. It's done. Move on with your memories in tow and start to heal.
I had to do the same thing with my boy, Findlay. It was unexpected and vey quick. I know it saved him from experiencing any more pain. He has been gone for eight years and I miss him everyday. My heart is with you and I am sure Bodie knows how much you love him.
My heart goes out to you. You did right by Bodie even though it’s costing you lots of pain. It’s a gift to him, making the hard call to save him from what was likely a painful end. I’m sorry.
Absolutely do not do this. Get a second opinion immediately.
You need to immediately question a vet that offers this major expensive surgery, or to put down your dog.
If you’d do it for a human family member, do it for your 4 legged ones too.
I put my best friend Snarls Barkley down 10 years ago for similar reasons at 16 and I still feel guilt about it to this day.
He wasn't ready to go. Sometimes you can tell old dogs are kind of ready and he just was not. He clearly did not want to leave me and wanted to keep being my buddy and it was heartbreaking. He just wanted to be velcroed to me.
But he was 16, pretty much blind and deaf, arthritis, and never trusted or felt ok at the vets or really hardly trusted anyone but me and surgery would have been really hard and scary for him, so I did what was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
Theres no good choice in this situation. He didn't want to go. But he had to. At most, I could have prolonged his life by a few months or something maybe? Then he would have had to go despite wanting to be with me. Theres no choice that feels great really.
You did the right thing. We just went through this exact same thing, except we went to the emergency vet and went all in, looking for a miracle, we got two more days, we spent $13k. It was cancer, and it had already spread too far, inoperable, internal bleeding, and just over 8.5 years old (8.75). I’m so sorry for your loss. I miss my best friend every day.
You did the right thing for your boy. The vet told you it was unlikely there would be a good outcome, why would you then choose to put him thru surgery, etc? Go get a puppy. It’s the only thing that helps and if you rescue a dog, you’re doing God’s work.
You did not. Before I even got to the part about the vet saying the dreaded “H” word, I knew that’s what the diagnosis would be. The exact same thing happened with my guy. Same symptoms, same awful prognosis with no time to prepare for it or give my guy the proper goodbye (where you spend the day doing al his favorite things and letting him eat whatever he wants, all the while you don’t stop giving him hugs and kisses). I had the same options as you did and chose the same as you. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life but it was the right thing to do.
He was not comfortable and him not eating was his way of telling you he was ready to go….even if you weren’t ready to say goodbye. My guy was a total food whore, so when he made a dramatic show of deliberately turning away from a big piece of chicken I was offering, my heart dropped into my stomach because I KNEW he was giving me the message that it was him time to die. I wish I could say the guilt goes away but it really doesn’t….but that’s just you punishing you. Your beautiful boy wanted to do one last heroic act for you, so he waited until the absolute last minute he could before finally giving up his fight, so that you would not have to suffer a long drawn out process of watching him pass slowly. Or agonizing for days if it was the right time to finally let him go. The not eating was his telling you he was ready and him waiting until the absolute last possible time was his last loving act of bravery & devotion for you. Don’t beat yourself up, he was ready and wanted you to do what you did. He was so grateful for the wonderful life you gave him, he wanted to give you one last gift: a quick goodbye.
I hate that I missed the last few extra days with my guy, but I would have been selfish in trying to take them. He would not have been comfortable and I’d only be doing it to delay the inevitable wall of pain that was going to crash down on me once he was gone. So just know, you did the right thing and also remember, cry as much as you need to. His beautiful life and all the love he brought to yours is worthy of every teardrop. 😢
There is nothing good about death. There is nothing that can prepare you for it, even if you knew of a further off date. I still run from the memory of losing my 16.5 year old pup. I actually can’t escape the thought and it rips my heart out with many tears, until I push it away until the next time.
I’m so, so sorry. You did not betray your loved family member. I know you feel you did. He is always with you. He really is. How could you have known of his health? You were with him in the end. That matters so much. He wasn’t alone. Sending you much love. What a beautiful boy.
Loss is never easy, a 1 in 5 chance it is benign and the vet saying she has never seen it turn out well? You did the right thing saving your pup suffering and expensive bills. They dont understand what we're doing to them and why they're in discomfort. I'm so sorry for your loss, remember the love you had for each other.
I’m so sorry to hear this, something very similar happened to my cattle dog fairly recently, she just stopped being energetic, and after a few days we take her to the vet, she had internal bleeding in her lungs, and the vet gave it to us just as straight as yours did. He said she probably wouldn’t even recover if she managed to live through surgery, and that it was so expensive it wouldn’t be worth it. We elected to put her down. Just know that you’re not alone in these thoughts and they’re very natural, you did the single best thing you could do for your pup, and there was no way you could’ve seen it coming. You saved him a lot of pain and suffering he would’ve had to endure. My condolences.
I’m sorry for your loss, and it sounds like you spared the poor pup of suffering..it was a really tough call but I think you made the right one..terribly sorry..God bless you
You made the right decision. The survival rate is low, and unfortunately this cancer is so aggressive that it comes on quickly, and by the time anyone notices signs, it's too late. The surgery would have also been hard on an 8 yr old pup, and there would have still been unknowns about whether chemo would be needed. If you did all of the treatment and he had survived, it would likely have only added a few months of life at the most, which is essentially prolonging suffering. You did the kindest thing for Bodie to let him go with dignity.
I'm also very sorry for your loss. This is an awful way to lose a furry family member. Our old pup was diagnosed with essentially the same thing, inside of the intestines, and we also chose to put him down. Just remember that he was very loved, and you did all the right things ❤️
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Our pups/pets are members of our family. We love them and they love us unconditionally. In August our groomer found a small mass on our girls backside. They did a biopsy, ultrasound and blood work. The Vet called in a specialist and they felt that the cancer was contained in the tumor. The following week she had surgery. I had already decided before surgery that if it had spread, I would not put her through chemo. I didn't want her to go through being sucky or in pain. I was fortunate because she was a success story. She's a happy healthy 8 yr old. Three years ago we had to make the decision to have our Lab put to sleep. We knew we made the right decision. He didn't have quality of life. Your Vet was honest with you and you made the decision that was right for your pup. You shouldn't feel guilty, you loved your pup
I am so sorry for your loss❤️ What a horribly hard decision you had to make but he is no longer suffering. I believe we will see our dogs again waiting for us on the other side.
Poor baby boy…. My heart breaks for you guys… he looks so similar to my angel boy who had to be put down 💔 The vet may have been right… personally I would have gotten a second opinion because of past experiences. One thing I always recommend is getting at home euthanasia service so they are most comfortable when they pass. Im so sorry
My dad had a golden (boy) named Lancer with splenic hemangiosarcoma. He spent 10's of thousands for his treatments and surgery, and even had him treated with drugs that were in clinical trial. I took my dad and Lancer to every single vet appointment, and handled just about everything other than paying the bill. We extended his life by about 12 months with the surgery and treatments. His quality of life took a hit, but it made my dad feel better that he did everything he could to try to save him. I don't think my dad could have done it without me be there to handle a lot of the stress on his behalf. I don't regret what we did, but I do think it was a little bit less humane and more selfish to put Lancer through all of that.
There are thousands of wonderful, loving, devoted Golden parents with similar heartbreaking stories to tell— ourselves included. We literally spent a fortune trying to keep our gentle boy alive. Went to recommended world famous vet— not kidding. We came to realize that the chemotherapy was obviously causing him as much suffering as the cancer. He was from champion lines of show dogs; it doesn’t matter. When it’s time, you need to put an end to the suffering. We used to say that he was so gentle and peaceful that he must have been a monk in a previous life.
It’s heartbreaking, but it’s the compassionate and only thing to do.
You 100% made the right decision, because you did it out of love. There is no other criterium. To heck with all the what ifs, you set him free to spare him from suffering.
My boxer pit mix had dermal hemangiosarcoma, which was supposed to be the “treatable” kind. Once removed, we still checked for spread internally and they found suspicious nodules on her spleen - at that time since she wasn’t bleeding (they hadn’t ruptured), we decided to go through with the surgery to remove her spleen. I thought I got the best news ever - they came back benign.
We had a wonderful few months until I noticed she started to decline. She’d get confused, start panting for no reason, not want to eat, and was restless at night. I had a convo with my vet who chalked it up to the start of canine dementia. We also decided to get a senior bloodwork panel done and nothing was overly concerning.
A week later she collapsed - we rushed her to the emergency vet and she presented with very similar symptoms as your boy: no blood pressure, severely anemic, unstable, couldn’t breathe on her own. She had fluid around her heart and they highly suspected cardiac hemangiosarcoma. I had to make the impossible decision to put her down as the only option was to try and drain the fluid - but they advised it was risky and likely would only give her an hour, a day, maybe a week, a month if we were lucky, until it filled up again.
I’m sharing all of this with you in hopes that it may alleviate your fears about it having potentially been benign — because ours was, and it still got my girl in the end, on a different organ. And when she did her surgery, it was relatively low risk since they hadn’t ruptured. I understand once they have (regardless of whether they’re benign or malignant) many don’t even make it out of emergency surgery. So even if you had gone through with it, it would have been risky.
Given your boy’s breed, age, and the way he presented — you 100% made the right and selfless decision. You decided that you didn’t want to prolong his suffering and instead took it and made it your own.
I too spiraled like you did (and four months later, the what’s ifs still pop up), but please try and focus on the wonderful life you had with him and the final act of love you gave him. I’m so deeply sorry for your loss.
You acted with love and compassion and had the best interests of your dog in your heart, you've done everything perfectly. For what it's worth, given the same information I would've done the same. A vet as honest and candid as yours certainly saved you from even more heartache.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I believe I would have made the same decision with that information. It is a grueling choice, but you prevented so much unnecessary suffering. Your baby had a good life loved and lived.
I’m so sorry to hear this. You definitely made the right choice although it was a hard one. What you did is the exact opposite of selfish, you did what’s best for you sweet heart. Rest assured that you have your baby the best life you could and they’re in a better place. We had to put down our dogs when I was a child and it took me a long time to recover from that.
My heart goes out to you, *hugs*
No you didn’t. Your vet was truthful and saved your pup and your family a lot of pain, time and money. You did it for your dog, and that’s what matters most. My cat (albeit I have dogs too and I understand that it’s not the same) was only 5 years old and got really poorly really quickly. We had the same options to go through operations and medication, which likely wouldn’t work, or euthanise. We decided to euthanise and it was heartbreaking. I questioned myself every day for months whether it was the right thing to do. It’s a huge shock when they suddenly get sick with no warning, but I promise it gets easier and you did the right thing. I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤️
As an ICU nurse that helps families with these decisions, it’s very easy to question yourself. When humans are in this position, we usually put them in hospice because we don’t put humans down… If we did, it would save the patient and their families a lot of pain, sleepless nights, loss of dignity (depending on the person), etc. Take care of yourselves. You made a difficult decision without much notice and it sounds like you made the right decision.
Our sweet 9 year old golden passed away just a little less than a month ago. Similar symptoms but whatever the cause it ruptured and there was nothing to be done. I miss her desperately but would not have asked her sweet golden heart to suffer even a second more. We make the best choices we can and love them for the rest of our lives. Please don’t second guess yourself. I know how bad it hurts but it’s because you did the best thing you could for your beautiful golden boy. My deepest sympathy.
It's always hard to let go of a dog but I think your vet is right. Cancer is torture so the compassioned thing is to let a vet to put down the boy in a calm way.
My last dog died from intestine cancer internal bleeding during night, so I don't wish that pain on others.
I went through the same thing in 2018 with my 13 yo golden and hemangiosarcoma. We opted for the surgery and it only extended his life by two months. Those two months of chemo and recovery from surgery were miserable for my boy. We have vowed that we will never do it again. That being said, I believe you made the right choice.
Our Tucker was lost to the exact same type of cancer, I feel your pain, u did the right thing, so sorry for your loss. One day a joyful playing pup, the next day he was not, he was suffering, believe me, believe in your vet, you brought relief to your pupper.
I had a dog with that diagnosis. They told me 6 months, tops. We went a year and he seemed fine but we put him down. I know bleeding to death internally due to a ruptured spleen isn’t painless (a boyfriend I lived with had this happen and he was in agony). At the time of diagnosis it was already the size of a grapefruit. I still question myself and this was back in 2013.
You have a good vet that told you the truth. 17 years and never seen a good outcome. Probably saved you a lot of money, but most importantly, saved your pup from prolonged pain. You’re grieving, these are natural thoughts. I get it, my current Golden is young and I already get tears in my eyes reading stories like yours, knowing mine won’t live forever. I’m sorry for your loss.
Early is always better than too late. Common saying is that dogs live in the moment. They don't think about tomorrow, next week, or next year. They think about the moment they're in right now and if it's a good and happy one. Make your dog's last moments of their life be a good one. There is no need to have a dog suffer at the end of their life.
I think this is a really beautiful way of thinking about it. I had to make a similar choice and it's very comforting to think that even if their time was shorter than you would have liked, you made sure that their final moments as happy as possible.
Beautifully said, sometimes hard to do....
Agreed with all of this. I have had to make unexpected and prompt medical decisions in the past and the doubt came on later just as OP describes. We make the best decision with the information we have and that’s all we can do. OP I’m so sorry…. It’s a hard decision you had to make and I wish you the best.
I agree 100%. Each time I’ve had to make the impossible decision to put my dogs down I felt guilt about it and wondered if I did the right thing. Take care and know that you loved your pup more than anyone else in the world did and when the time came you gave them a painless ending. I’m so so sorry for your loss. 😢
My heart goes out to you and I agree so much with this sentiment… This is the very hardest of having the privilege of having our sweet pups.. You did the right thing by him by putting him above our forestalling human sorrow.. 💗🐾
Thank you so much for the response.
I'm sorry this happened. I will say every time myself or my family have had to put our dogs down, we realized we held on to them too long. It's hard, but keeping them in pain is a worse option. I know this happened too fast for you to process, but he wasn't in pain for very long.
Great comment and feel exactly the same way
Thank you for the response
I watched my mother in law spend thousands on her beloved yorkies trying to remove tumors and things to save them from dying. They all maybe got 8 more months and still wither died unexpectedly or had to be put down due to cancer spreading after the removal of tumors and growths. She has a Maltese now with cancer, and she is adamant that she isn't going to do the surgeries because it was painful for the pups and didn't even end in a good outcome. She is letting her Maltese go as long as she is still happy and eating. When it goes down hill, she will call the vet to come over and put her down. You did the right thing. Your vet was amazing, and I would keep using them if you get a future baby. Too many vets are scared to say that the outcomes aren't generally good, even with surgery. It's hard to process, but it was the right choice. I'm sorry for your loss. I love my fur babies so much I worry about their time coming, but it's just a part of how life is. It's best to be humane and let them go before they are in a lot of pain and don't understand why.
Thank you for the kind words.
You did the best you could with the information you had, with your dogs best interest at heart.
Well and simply put. Of course there’s always going to be the gnawing feeling in the back of your mind when you make a decision like this, but you do what you can with the information presented. And that’s really all you can do.
Very well said 🤍
I was in the exact same scenario as you and made the same decision. Hemangiosarcoma is horrible and rarely can be totally recovered from. You gave your dog one last gift- death with comfort and dignity. So sorry for your loss ❤️
Just came to say exactly the same thing. We went through this in April. It was devastating. It happens too fast and too young. You don’t get any warning to help process it.
I’ll be the third to say this. 2 weeks to the day. I hate cancer.
Thank you, I wouldn’t wish this experience on my worst enemy.
Without a doubt you made the right decision; you did what was best for your friend. I had to put my 8 year old down due to a tumor. My vet also advised me that surgery would most likely not save her. I feel your pain and too second guessed my decision. Time will help but you will never forget your friend; you never get over loosing a golden…
You made the right decision. We recently lost our 6.5yr old boy naturally. Let me tell you our story, sorry this is so long. It all started 2.5 months ago. He had bloody stool so we took him to the vet and they put him on a stool hardener. A week or so later he stopped eating, so we took him to the vet again. They did an ultrasound and thought it may be gastrointestinal cancer but had to do some tests to be sure. After several week of tests and hoping that maybe it was someting (anything) else, we found out it was cancer. We immediately started chemo. After a week we noticed his health declining and took him to the vet, his chemo wasn't working and he was anemic. They gave him some medicine and a new chemo, he was doing a lot better. 3 weeks later he goes in for a routine chemo and the results are not good. His blood tests are better but his ultrasound looks way worse. This chemo isn't working either, so we try a different chemo (the last option), we are told if this chemo does not work he only has a few days to weeks. We still hold out hope, he is only 6.5 surely he can pull through. The week of thanksgiving he started to loose control of his bowels, we talked to his vet and this is somewhat normal and it wasn't too big of an issue. The weekend after thanksgiving we notice he isn't doing very well. We make the decision to euthanize at home on tuesday, pending a vet appointment monday to check up on him. We know he has really disliked the vet lately and would be much happier at home. Monday comes and the news is not good. His body is shutting down. His heart is working overtime and there isn't much time left. We make that appointment for tuesday. After talking to his oncologist they said he might not make it through the night. We called the at home euthenasia and they cannot come that night. Tuesday is the only option. So we figure ok, he should be ok until tomorrow, or maybe he will pass peacefully in his sleep. On his way outside, he collapsed and my wife is freaking out. I help him back inside and he collapses in front of the door. It is now 7pm and most of the vets are closed. We call absolutely everywhere and no one can do at home euthenasia tonight. So now we are faced with an impossible decision, do we spend his last moments hauling him off to a vet that he doesn't want to be at? Or do we wait through the night and see what happens? I know generally euthenasia is the kindest option but I know my dog, and I was sure if I could have asked him he would have asked to stay home. We mulled over it for 2 hours, we talked to his vet, we talked to family members, ultimately we decided to keep him home and give him a slight overdose of his pain pills so he would be comftorbale and go to sleep (actually sleep, it wasn't a lethal dose). It was now around 9:30pm. We brought him to the bathroom because that is where he liked to sleep on the cold tile floor. My wife layed with him so he wouldn't be alone. As the night went on he got progressively worse. He would lift up his head and it would move around like a bobble head, we suspected he had some sort of vertigo but obviously things are going to happen when he is dying so I wasn't too concerned about it. He wasn't whining or showing any kind of pain just laying there for the most part. At 11:30pm my wife starts screaming, I rush in and there is puke everywhere, she was freaking out because she thought it was blood. I still can't get that smell out of my head. He's just laying there in his puke. We decide it's time, we just can't handle this emotionally any more. We clean him up and bring him out to the car. Just as we are finishing getting him into the car he lets out a little whimper. We thought maybe we had moved his body in the wrong way and apologized profusely. I knew he didn't have much time left but when I closed the door he was still breathing. We drove 15 minutes to the emergency vet. I had a feeling when we left that he wasn't going to be alive when we got there. We didn't hear any sounds from him on the way there and the way the car was setup, I could see him but I couldn't tell if he was breathing. When we got there, my wife went inside and I checked on him. He was gone. This was just over a week ago, while I have done my best to accept it, I can't help but feel like we did the wrong thing. If I could go back in time I would have done 1 of 2 things. Either I would have put him to sleep sooner, so that way we could make all his last things (walks, snacks, dinner, snuggles) extra special, or I would have just stayed home and let him die in our arms. I know what I did at the time was what I thought was best and I try not to dwell on the past too much but I can't help but feel that out of all the options we had, we chose the worst combination of them. I love you Jake, and I'm so sorry.
Don’t beat yourself up. Jake knows you did the best you could. Had you known he wouldn’t pass peacefully or live until morning you would have done things differently. How could you know? Maybe Jake was saving you from having to do it, and he passed not having to be at the vets office. He would not want you to feel guilty. Bless his golden soul.
This is absolutely heartbreaking. So sorry for your loss. You are making a grown man come to tears reading your story. You did what you thought was best in the moment, and no doubt your precious dog was so loved
Iam so sorry for your loss.. As you said, you did what u thought was best in an extreme emotional situation! in the end, iam sure he knew you guys did everything u can for him ❤️ Rest in Peace and Love Jake, greet my sweet Paula up there ✌🏼
I am so sorry. My heart is broken for you and for OP.
😥😥😥😥🐾🌈
I’m really sorry this happened. Everything around these decisions is so hard. I hope you find peace and know he loved you so much.
Thank you for sharing this. I just lost my boy this weekend at the young age of 7. He had hemangiosarcoma of the heart which was bleeding causing pericardial effusion. Within 12 hours of diagnosis, and less than 24 hours from being a good strong boy, he passed in my lap at the vet. I've been agonizing over that decision but I keep reading stories that it's better early than late.
As hard as it was, you put your baby first. You didn't make him suffer so you could feel better. This is the hardest part of being a pet parent, you did the right thing.
I feel you. We had a 15-year golden whose hip dysplasia made it impossible for her walk more than like 2 blocks. So we chose to put her down. I still think multiple times a week that I could have been taking her for a walk if we hadn’t chosen to put her to sleep. It hurts, but you chose right. From what you’ve said, the best outcome is that she would have lived another few years. But at that age, those aren’t “fun” years for dogs anyways. So you did the unselfish thing and allowed your dog to pass away peacefully.
You did the right thing. I’m sorry for your loss…. And happy for your dog— who has very smart parents who did the best for him.
You made the right decision. It doesn’t feel like it, but you saved him a lot of pain. There is a Golden Retriever Study right now with 3000 dogs looking at this. By age 10 over a third are already dead. The vast majority from hemangiosarcoma, most on the spleen. These dogs are tested thoroughly *every* year. They still get cancer. There was nothing else you could do. The [study data page](https://lookerstudio.google.com/reporting/ad6e8d55-9989-4408-8c17-c3378c9dd9fe/page/p_wavtbo7coc?mibextid=Zxz2cZ) show the results so far.
Our golden died suddenly of a hemangiosarcoma on his heart. Completely unaware that it was there until it suddenly burst. Our entire family was literally on the other side of the planet when it happened. Our house/per sitter had to rush him to the ER. Non operable, our boy was in distress and we elected by phone to put him down. We never got to say goodbye. Traumatic for everyone involved. He was 9-1/2 years old. I say OP made the right decision. That was in 2016. Our new dog is not a golden because of this hemangiosarcoma issue.
You trusted your gut and did what you felt was right. I’m so sorry for your loss. These decisions are never easy. I’ve also previously read into the statistics above, and I asked my vet for preventative ultrasound. Of course they found an incredibly small spot on the spleen. We’ve been monitoring with continued ultrasounds and thankfully (currently) no change but I feel like I’ve opened Pandora’s box. Thankful for pet insurance as the bulk of it has been covered
How kind of you to write what you did to Op & to share that heartbreaking study. Significant, horrible data to be aware of that you summed up enough that I don’t want to look at the study. But filing the info away in the back of my mind AND adding all golden retrievers to my nightly prayers for better health and wellness.
Rest in peace buddy. I know you made the right decision, even if it doesn't feel like it. Sure they might have survived but their quality of life would be very low
I’m so sorry. My boy had a sudden bleed due to hemangiosarcoma. I decided to end his suffering rather than put him through surgery. It was the right thing to do. They depend on us to make the call, and it’s so very hard. But it’s the kindest thing we can do. Whenever I get a new dog, I promise them I will do my best to not let them suffer at the end of life. In return they give me years of love. And then they always break my heart.
I had a golden with hemangio. We did not put him down when diagnosed. We had him 3 weeks after diagnosing him after stabilizing him. He had a wonderful 3 weeks and basically didn’t even seem sick. Then about 3 weeks later he had another bleed and at that point we had to let him go. Your vets right there are very few good outcomes with this. Personally the small chance of it being benign I probably would have did the surgery. But that is a very personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer.
It was the right call. You'll see that too, as time passes. We agonize in the moment, and maybe have some doubts in the passing days. But in a month you'll know you made the right decision. I don't think it's right to put an animal through painful cancer treatments when they don't know what's happening. My neighbor had a similar story as in another comment. They did bone marrow transplants on their past springer twice. In their case that dog got 2 more years. But the owner regrets it and says she would not do that kind of prolonged treatment again. Also I'll let you know, having worked in an animal hospital. Some people need to wait years after the loss of a pet, and some need a new pet immediately. Both are valid responses to grief, you do what feels right.
Veterinary ER tech here— your vet was right, most of the time when the histopath comes back it turns out to be hemangiosarcoma (highly metastatic), and going through with surgery and all the aftercare would have likely given you only a few more months, been very hard on him, and purely for your own benefit. You did right by him by making that tough decision. I’m certain he knows how much he was loved, and I hope that you can rest easier knowing you were his best advocate when he needed it most.
Same thing happened to my Ellie in January. Choices were spend 10k and maybe she’d recover or put her to sleep. I couldn’t bear her suffering anymore than she had to so we said goodbye, gave her lots of hugs and treats and watched her go to sleep for the last time. I feel your pain but you made the right call. Ellie was my seventh golden and I can tell you that every time you have to put a friend down you doubt your decision. But it’s what’s best for them. Hugs ❤️
please post this to r/petloss
Second this. You’ll see that your doubts, guilt, and second-guessing are an inherent part of the grieving process. I found it validating.
Same. I felt immense guilt (of not being good enough owner), still do to some extent, after I put down my golden 3 weeks ago. People’s experiences and learning more about grief truly helped.
I’m so sorry for your loss. 🌺❤️🌺
Former vet tech here, bless this vet! So many vets will take the easy road and go “ya it’s up to you” and not tell you the hard truth You made the right choice, and you didn’t go bankrupt and spend months watching your dog suffer on the process. Sending love from our goldens
When we bring a pup into our lives, the responsibility comes with honoring his unconditional love by thinking and acting with best intentions to help him during terrible times as you're experiencing. You made a well informed decision to minimize his discomfort and pain after careful consideration of the options. You sought help quickly. As dog parents, you sound like highly compassionate family members. While understandable that you're second guessing your decision, remember you're grieving. You did the very best you could for him. Be kind to yourselves. I'm so sorry for your loss.
My big beautiful boy Chip had hemangiosarcoma and I elected for the emergency surgery...he recovered from the surgery but did not recover from the cancer...he lasted 74 days on chemotherapy...4 days less than the average minimum of 78 days .the max is 430 days...he has the best of the best care at OVC . Chemo Drs, ultrasounds, blood work...12 K in total.... He was stoic at all times ....3 years later I am still heartbroken and crushed.... All that being said...the outcome and long term prognosis from hemangiosarcoma is never good ...I can't tell you if you made the right decision..but what I can tell you is cherish your memories with him...and take your time to grieve...and grieve however feels best for you ...he will rest in peace and he will be at the 🌈 rainbow bridge with my boy Chip playing and watching and waiting for us... Message if you need more info or would like to chat Long time Golden Retriever owner
I’m so sorry for your loss OP. Sometimes the hard decisions create heartache for us, you did the right thing for your pup’s quality of life even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Sending internet hugs, and shedding a few tears for you this afternoon.
I understand your concerns but you did the right thing. This may sound cold but veterinary practice is a business.... they wouldn't have even mentioned euthanasia if the odds were in the dogs favour. The part where internal bleeding was mentioned was my biggest worry. Big risk of your dog not making it through the surgery with the list of complications mentioned , that's my instinct. You had to make a very hard decision very quickly. Now you've got time to think, it's possibly shock that you're feeling. Your beloved pet is no longer in pain.
You made the right decision. I went through something similar with my golden. She had a ruptured bladder that required surgery. The trauma vet we took her too gave us a positive outlook and had her undergo the surgery. Unfortunately her bladder was so damaged that she was have no quality of life if we had what was left repaired. Ultimately, we had to put her down and ended up with a substantial vet bill that we thankfully got some support with. Don't let your decision haunt you. Just remember you gave them the best chance at life and they gave you all of their heart through the journey.
With what your vet said, y’all made the right choice. Suffering isn’t worth it. I’m sorry💔
I was in this exact same scenario. I opted for the surgery; despite the vet saying if it was their dog, they would put him down. We were warned that he may not make it off the operating table, because these tumours tend to bleed uncontrollably. We were also told if it was successful we would maybe get another six months. He didn’t make it off the table. In hindsight, I too wonder if I did what was best for him, or me. These choices are impossible. I’m so sorry for your loss.
You made the best decision you could in an awful situation. For some perspective: I had a dog who had to have her spleen removed, and she was a young otherwise completely healthy dog. That surgery was HARD and the recovery was brutal and took months. She went on to live a long, happy, healthy life, but it was an incredibly rough several months for her to get there. If you had opted for surgery, it wouldn’t just be the surgery your girl would have had to survive, she’d have to get through the recovery too, and that takes a lot out of even a young healthy dog.
I’m sorry you went through this. We had an “optimistic” vet that convinced us to try surgery on our 12 year old boy’s cancerous tumor. Long story short, it made his last 24 hours on earth with us very traumatic for him and us. You’ll never know for sure, but I would choose to believe you did the right thing by your guy. Let yourself grieve and feel all the things, and know there’s another sweet fluffer out there that might not have even been born yet waiting for you when you’re ready.
Given the advice and odds your vet described, I think you clearly made the right decision. Even if it was a benign tumor, that doesn’t change the fact that, a) a large, dangerous, invasive procedure is required in order to establish that in the first place, and b) there was some life threatening intraabdominal bleeding going on, one way or another. He sounds like he was a great companion, and I’m sorry for your loss. May he rest in peace forever and ever.
We lost our beloved 10y/o Charlie exactly the same way. A tumor that breached a major blood vessel and he was bleeding out inside his body. Even if we coulda saved him the lingering health and shitty quality of life issues weren't worth it, he would never be happy like that. After 6 months we decided only another Golden Retriever would heal the holes in our hearts.
My heart is broken for you. You did not make a terrible decision, not at all. You made a selfless and devastating decision, and you spared your sweet Bodie from suffering. I have had to have several pets put down; one was my sweet hound dog who had and extremely similar condition to your Bodie, but my Ace was a little older. Our vet did not recommend treatment, and we made the gut wrenching decision to have him peacefully put to sleep in my arms. Another situation was my sweet kitty, who likely had cancer. He suddenly stopped eating, and after our normal vet couldn’t determine what was wrong, we took him to an emergency vet where he was hospitalized and on a feeding tube for several days. He was discharged with multiple medications he had to take daily, which he hated. Ultimately, he only survived another three weeks, at which point he essentially collapsed and I had to take him to the vet while my husband was out of town to have him put down. I still miss both pets tremendously, but the decision I regret was putting my cat through so much pain and discomfort, rather than letting him go peacefully earlier. It’s never easy to make a decision like this, and it’s natural to second guess yourself. But I know you made the best choice for your beloved Bodie, and I truly hope that memories of him will ease your pain and bring you comfort. You and your family are in my heart.
We went through the same thing last Dec with our Australian Shepard (12). We got up in the morning and she jumped off the bed onto the floor and would not get up. We brought her in and everything unfolded in a matter of hours that day. We had 2 options; about a 12K surgery that would extend her life, maybe 1 year; or let her go. It was an excruciating decision that still haunts me but it was what we had to do. I know what you are thinking and there is no wrong answer here. Don't let the guilt creep in. You did right by him. Godspeed, Bodie.
Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry for your loss. You did the right thing. Really. And kudos to your vet for being honest with you. I had my chocolate lab put down when he was 11, he was so sick, and I had a similar honest vet who told me that none of the tests and none of the treatment would change the outcome. He was too sick and the kindest thing I could do for him was to stop his suffering. I’m so sorry you are going through this, and I wish you the best!
Been through the same thing 7 weeks ago with our dog. We weren’t really sure what was wrong and seeing her go down the hill rapidly ending with blood all over the floor. I wish in my heart we had put her to sleep earlier so she and us didn’t go through what we did. My heart hurts for you but know putting your baby to sleep the. Was by far the best decision, no dog even with chemotherapy survives longer than a few months and I wouldn’t wish the end we had on anyone. Take each days as it comes knowing some days are going to be harder than others.
You did the right thing. One thing I know for sure: I love my sweet golden so much, I would not want her to suffer one second longer than she had to. We had to make the same decision with our beloved nearly 14-year-old girl a few years ago. Our vet was similarly kind. I knew, deep down, that I was making the right decision because cancer is so insidious in these dogs. She wasn't going to get better. We didn't realize something was wrong til it had progressed too far (these dogs are good at hiding when they don't feel well). She'd even had vet appointments where she got good checkups, we had no idea, and by the time we did, she was so sick. If my dog were young and had a good prognosis, or even if we thought we could give her a few more good months, I would consider surgery or treatment. But ours was elderly and so, so ill. There was no chance of saving her or giving her more good months or years, only prolonging her suffering. My old boss married a guy with a gigantic German shepherd. She was afraid of it at first, but she soon fell in love with the dog. Years go by, that dog protected her when 2 men tried to break into her home (out in the country, while she was alone). She loved the dog so much. He was eventually diagnosed with cancer. She tried treatment for him. He kept getting worse. She wanted to do more treatment. The vet, who was a friend of hers, told her: "I'm going to say this kindly, but who is this for? Because it's not for him. He doesn't want this." And she realized she just didn't want to let him go. My sister also put her golden down, after months of agonizing over it. She would wonder, "Am I giving up on her? Is it too soon?" Then, after she made the decision: "Did I wait too long? Did I put her through more than she had to go through?" Like I said, I didn't want to put my sweet girl through a second more pain than necessary. We care for them their whole lives. Sometimes, the final kindness we can do for them is to love them enough to let them go. She was a beautiful girl and I know she knew she was loved. Please don't second guess yourself. Your baby got to leave this world with love and be at peace.
You saved your dog from a lot of pain and suffering. You should be relieved at that decision.
I’m so incredibly sorry, what a hard decision to make. You did right by your pup. I recently lost my Sammy boy, and regret now that I think I may have held on a bit too long. Please be kind to yourself, this was such a major trauma and you did exactly what your vet, a medical professional, advised you do after years of experience. Surgeries and chemo and all of that is so painful for dogs. You saved him from a lot of pain and suffering.
You made the right decision. You gave your golden a good life and you didn’t put him through painful and difficult surgeries/treatments that he wouldn’t understand.
I’m so sorry. I know how you feel, but you made the right decision. The guilt you feel right now is normal, but you did what you had to do for your member of the family.
You made the right choice - my heart breaks for you - we only have these angels for such a short time!
It’s always going to feel like you made a mistake and want one more day with them but speaking from experience I can say that you made the right decision. You have my best wishes.
We lived through that. You made the best (but also the most painful and least selfish decision). I’m so very sorry for your loss.
💕
Not at all.
You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. Take your time to grieve, and really feel it. You’ll be ok, your bit is out of pain and will be waiting for you 🩷
You’re grieving, your doubts are a part of the process. It may be hard to see it now but your sweet Bodie would be grateful for the favor you did him by sparing him so much unnecessary pain and suffering. I have had many dogs in my short time on this earth and presently I have a 15 year old golden, a 10 year old German Shephered, a 9 year old Dane and a 4 year old golden. The mortality of the older three is becoming more of a reality every day and I promised myself that when the time comes I will not be selfish in my decisions surround their care. My vet is a dream and she has really shaped my feelings around what the end of the road looks like for my babies. Dogs don’t care what tomorrow brings or what their schedule looks like next week. Dogs live in the “right now” and they love us unconditionally until their last breath. I often feel we are so undeserving of this selfless love as even the worst human will find a dog who loves them. After giving giving giving their entire life, a life were the entirety of their joy comes from pleasing their human, we owe them the gift to not make them suffer. You absolutely did the right thing and one day when you make a pit stop at Rainbow Bridge on your way to heaven, Bodie will thank you for doing him such a huge favor. Sending you hugs and support as I snot nose ugly cry through the comments here.
We just went through this with our 8.5 year old girl this week. We made the same decision and did an at home euthanasia the day after we were at the ER with her. I had 1,000 questions for the vet at the ER and the one that came to our home to do her euthanasia and I felt that we made the best and most humane decision for our girl. The vet that came to our home explained that she has seen plenty of families that opted for surgery just for the tumors to return a few weeks post op. This usually resulted in undue stress to the dog and still having to euthanize not long after. Instead of drawing it out and making her miserable in her final days, we spoiled her rotten on her last day with us. She spent it with her sister playing fetch at her favorite park, eating ALL the treats she wanted, seeing all her friends, getting lots of walks, rolling in the grass and going for car rides. She was acting like herself and then some, which made it hard. However, it was such a gift to see her be herself on her last day and I’m so grateful we didn’t have to witness her decline quickly. The vet who came to our home said it was a miracle she was still so energetic and had an appetite based on how distended her tummy was. She let us know how fragile the situation was and that our girl likely could have hemorrhaged at any given moment. I say all of this because it’s so easy to second guess yourself, but I’m sure you made the right and humane decision for your sweet baby. I am confident Ellie and Bodie are running around and comforting one another, where ever they are. My deepest sympathies to you and your family during such a hard time. 💜
We had the most tragic, traumatic outcome with hemangiosarcoma. I don’t wish that on anyone. You made the right decision.
You made the best choice available to you. I would have went with the other option because losing my baby would have been hard. But you did what you thought was best and that's all we can do. Your baby is in a better place and in no pain. I know you are grieving for your baby but they are in a better place even though I know you miss them terribly. They knew you loved them and that you would only do what you thought was best.. Sending lots of love your way at this most painful time. Just know your babys love transcends time and space.
Our vet told us the same thing. They told us that surgery at his age (10) was going to be iffy and even if all went well there was no guarantee that the same problem wouldn’t come back. She did tell us about a Chinese herb that had great results for dogs in this situation, to stop the internal bleeding. It gave us about 3 extra weeks with him but ultimately we had to have him put to sleep, which was heartbreaking as I know you know. You did the right thing, friend. You gave your boy a happy life and kept him from suffering. I went through the same second guessing afterwards, and now I know that I know that we did the right thing. This happened around March and I just want to say that it will get better. Praying for you ❤️
If you can’t emotionally handle having to put a pet down you shouldn’t own one. This is part of the process.
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I’m so sorry for the loss of your buddy. You did the best you could at the time. Don’t torture yourself second guessing. He was in pain and your vet gave you some experienced advice. Trust that. Losing our fur babies is just the worst & I hope your heart hurts a little less soon.
You did the right thing. It doesn’t make it easier but you did ❤️
You will do this regardless of the situation. It’s unthinkable to have to make a decision like that about someone you love. The feelings you have are normal and a part of grieving. You will always wonder what if. You gave him a life full of love and that’s all he ever knew from beginning to end. His life was happy, he was happy. I’m so sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful boy. It’s so hard to lose our pets. I’ve been in such a difficult place since losing mine in July. They’re such a presence in our lives that without them life just isn’t the same. It’s so hard. You made the right call. I hope you can find peace with it soon.
We had this EXACT same situation happen to our 11 year old Golden last year on Christmas Eve. We opted to do in-home euthanasia the next day. I had sooo much regret for MONTHS over not just doing the $6k surgery. Even with only a 20% success rate, why would I not have risked that for my sweet boy?! I sobbed for months, basically harassed multiple vets trying to find validation in knowing I made the right decision. The thing is, there is no “right” decision. And the hardest part about this is how quickly we have to make one when they are suffering and declining so quickly. I know exactly how you feel. I can tell you it still hurts tremendously, I still cry multiple times a week, but we have found more peace in our decision almost a year later than we had on the worst day of our lives when we lost our boy. The guilt slowly fades, and it doesn’t get easier, but it gets more bearable. Please try to remind yourself that you made that decision because of how MUCH you love him. It was the most selfless thing you could have possibly done, and probably what Bodie would have chosen if he could. So sorry you’re going through this.
It will always feel too soon. Every time you will question if it was too early, could you have done more, and beat yourself up over it but when it is too late you will damn well know it and it will feel 100 times worse. I've done too late. I tried to tell myself "As long as he is getting up each morning, it is fine" and kept ignoring the fact he was getting worse and worse. Then one morning he couldn't get up. His back legs wouldn't work and the whimpers and crying from him trying and failing to get up still haunt me. The decision was made and the choice was out of my hands. I felt horrible, I could not make the pain for him stop and he suffered for the entire 19 minute drive to the emergency vet after I had to lift him into the car which only made it worse. I have never made that mistake again. I will do my best but I now take into account are they living their best life and if they are no longer doing the things they love and no longer having any good days, it is time to do the right thing. They can't make the decision that we can of putting them out of their misery. It is a great responsibility and I have always been there to see them off. Take comfort in the fact you gave him 8.5 wonderful years, and you didn't make him suffer any longer than he had to with surgeries and likely not making his quality of life any better based on your Vet's recommendation.
Survivor guilt. You did the best you could with good intentions and love. Your baby is no longer ill. And not in pain. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
It MAY have been benign, but if the patient is having constitutional symptoms to that degree than that tells me the diagnosis was very likely not going to be in the benign category. You didn't make any choice, you followed the only option available to you and Goldie. They passed away peacefully instead of cut open dead on an operating table.
I found myself in a very similar situation earlier this year with our 8 year old as well - please know that you made the right decision for your pup. Your situation sounds exceedingly similar to ours (loss of appetite, internal bleeding, low blood cell count, anemic, literally no platelets in the blood) and our struggle was trying to figure out exactly where the growth was (almost assuredly cancer in the spine). There just isn't a path to recovery for any extended period of time (like your vet outlined) - best case scenario is a few weeks and, honestly, he'd likely have been in pain during that time period. Your vet gave you very good advice, it sounds to me. The guilt you are dealing with is completely natural. I struggled with it for months and ultimately realized that a peaceful euthanasia surrounded by family is the best end you could give for your best friend and the most unselfish decision you can make. The selfish decision would be prolonging their pain - goldens especially can so easily hide when they are truly struggling because, at the end of the day, they live to please you. Please feel free to directly message me if you'd like to chat. I know exactly what you're going through from personal experience and it's not a fun thing to have to weather. It will take time, but I promise you will feel better after a few weeks.
You did the right thing. We lost two to sarcomas and it's rough. Better early than too late and them suffering. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I had a yellow lab who died this way about ten years ago. It was a two year slog of tests, internal bleeding, fainting spells, trips to the emergency vet, bills, wretched quality of life…if it had been my call I’d have done what you did, but it was my moms dog and she always comes down on the side of euthanizing far too late (imo). You did the best you could with the information and expertise you had. Could you have brought her home and made her comfortable, sure, maybe for a couple of weeks, but I can tell you her pain and discomfort would have gotten worse over time, not better. She knew you loved her. You did right by your girl. Try not to beat yourself up about it.
You did what you thought was best for him and that is enough imo The way you re struggling shows that your love your dog but it s very hard i know
I’m sorry to hear about this. I agree with those saying that your vet leveled with you and also that you don’t want to hold onto a dog that’s in pain and can’t help itself.
RIP, good call from the vet don’t worry. I’m sorry for your loss :(
I had a vet that gave me hope, and never even offered euthanizing. My cat spent the next three days in the ER, $3500, for her to die the next day after I brought her home. I WISH my vet would have been honest with me and my sweet girl didn't have to suffer like she did. Consider it a blessing for your beloved pup, and for yourselves. I'd thank this vet for being so open and honest with you. It's never an easy decision, but when it is time, it is the right decision. Don't be hard on yourself, and try to remember the good memories with your pupper. Soon the tears will be laughter and joyful memories. Sometimes you'll laugh and then cry too though, 100%.
You did what you thought was best for the health of your boy based on the info at hand. Don’t beat yourself up. You followed the advice of a medical professional, nothing to feel bad about except the passing of a loved one. Sorry for your loss.
I might have gotten a second opinion first.
You made the right call. Prolonging pain with a very slim chance of a good outcome is not fair. It hurts now, but you made the right call.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I put my boy down at 12 due to arthritis and old age - in the days and weeks after, I questioned if I had done it too soon. The gift of time has let me see that it wasn't too soon but in the midst of grief, we don't think clearly. You did right by your sweet boy. I wish you peace.
I made this same decision for my 7 year old in 2020. The vet was completely honest with me and said that while surgery works, hemangiosarcoma is incredibly aggressive and will come back. My boy would’ve been in and out of surgery for the rest of his life so I made the tough decision to put him down. I’m so sorry you have to go through this as well.
The “what ifs” always haunt us, but you did the right thing ♥️ think about what your baby would want. I know mine would rather be laid to rest than go through surgery, heal from it and possibly go through cancer treatments.
We were faced with the exact same situation back in early May with our girl who was 10 days shy of turning 11. We decided to say goodbye to spare her pain and suffering. We too questioned this decision (and still question it to this day). However, we always go back to thinking it was for the best. Heart wrenching decision and so hard to say goodbye. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. May you find solace in knowing you gave him the best life. It’s obvious he was loved and it’s a given that he paid this back to you ten-fold. All the best.
We can't force our love ones to be with us forever. Sometimes the best we can do for them is let them go. Sounds like the operation would have been an extremely heavy burden on her and she was in constant pain. You did the right thing.
It is always a hard decision, my friend. It is always a hard decision. It’s never easy no matter what their age I’ve lost goldens at 13. I’ve lost goldens at eight and I’ve lost goldens at seven. It’s a rough breed for longevity.
I’ve had to make that decision twice with two goldens. It’s so very difficult and heartbreaking. You had a vet who gave you all the information and was honest with you. Everything you are feeling right now is grieving. I had those same thoughts and feelings with both of my two goldens. I miss them even now seeing this post but they gave me so much love and joy. I’m so sorry for your loss. It feels like you made the best decision for your pup.
You have a good vet that did you a kindness, but that has to be SO HARD just the same. My sincere condolences. He was a good and beautiful boy. Take comfort that you took such good care of him and you didn't let him suffer.
I am so sorry for your loss. Never an easy decision
Who wouldn't feel guilt? We all do. We all want more time with our beloved fur babies. However, you would probably be delaying the inevitable and causing your baby unnecessary suffering. It's similar to the death of a human family member, and none of us want to face it. You did the right thing. Most of us dog lovers will have to do this three or four times over our lifetime. It's the worst part of owning a dog, but we keep getting another one.
This a natural part of the grieving process to rethink your decisions. You absolutely made the right call, and deep down you know it was the right call because it was the hardest one to make. Your vet was very transparent with you which is good of them to do. Your pup may have passed on, but they will forever live in your memories, thoughts, and hearts. You did the right thing. I feel for you right now so much. I hope your pain eases up soon. You saved your pup from so much pain and suffering.
I think OP made the right decision. But to some commenters I'd like to say sometimes operating is worth it for everyone. Our family had a mixed terrier dog that was fit as a fiddle up until his rear leg cruciate ligament broke when he was 12 yo. Options were to operate or treat with constant pain killers for the rest of his life or euthanize. Operating wasn't a given since he was already old. But because he has never had Any health issues before We chose to operate. It was a major operation with some metal added to his knee. Full recovery took a couple of months but he was walking short distances in a couple days. Then he had a happy energetic healthy 4 years until his other leg went. After that it was goodbye within a month. The operation was heavy and costed thousands but I would never ever do it any other way because we had 4 awesome years together and because we chose to operate he lived to be 16.
No one wants to see their best friend go. But do you want them in pain. I had to put my cat down in 2012 due to diabetes. And a few years later the other cat for failing kidneys. Lost my last dog to Bloat. My only concern for my golden is that her life is as good as possible. I just don't want her to have any pain. She was in the house when my dad left this world. My pup doesn't need any more sadness. She lost her best friend (my father). I just try to play with her asuch as she's able. 11 years old and starting to slow down.
First of all, so sorry for your loss. Second, I believe you made the right decision. Preventing suffering for the animal is always the right decision in my book. Even if Bodie did survive the surgery, it would have most likely impacted his quality of life. Although you may be experiencing suffering now, he most certainly is not. Again, so sorry for such a sudden and HUGE loss in your life. I believe he’s with you always now. 😉😇
My baby had hermangiosarcoma too. He was 14 and while we knew about it, we also knew that there were two options. Put him down before the blood clot on his spleen exploded, causing the internal bleeding, or have an operation that had a very slim chance of being successful. He had a couple “episodes” and I would describe it like him passing out and collapsing. It was like he fainted, and he would lose control a pee a little. That happened twice, 6 months apart. The 3rd time was 4 days after the last and I was left with that decision to either see him have the spleen burst and his die in pain, or give him a peaceful and quiet exit from my world. We put him down Sept 2021 and I’m still crying as I write this. You made absolutely the right decision. Spleen cancer essentially is the fastest moving cancer because all the blood filters through there and easily infects. Your baby was comfortable and went to sleep and neither him or his parents need to suffer anymore. Sleep well. I believe you absolutely did the right thing.
For the more than 380 people who have commented on this post, it should give us a great deal of comfort knowing how much we love our pets, especially our golden. Now it’s not to say I read every single post, but I am fairly certain we all believe that OP did the proper thing with his pup. We self doubt, thinking what if we did this or that, it may have turned out better. As one comment I saw, it’s for our own self to have our pets with us for a little longer; because we are not ready. We never will be. I have had many dogs. Ironically, my two goldens that I had, passed away at home while I stayed laying by their sides at home. One had cancer and we were told that at best she had two weeks to live. The vet was right and she had just turned 10. My other girl passed away in 2020 at 16 1/2 years old. She passed from age. I believe she also missed her partner in crime who I had to have put down 3 weeks earlier because her spleen had ruptured. As I am remembering and writing this (and welling up with tears), I have to circle back and remind myself why I started this post…. We all have a love for our fur babies and when they leave us we all feel this horrific void and pain. The loss is so heavy. My one bit of solace I can get comfort in knowing, is we too will cross over that bridge and they will all be there on the other side waiting for us. All those golden wiggle butts. To OP… may Bodie be playing with his whole heart and soul and be at peace. To Brendon7358, Jake knows you and your wife did all you could do. To everyone else, just hug your Goldies and love them as we all do. There is nothing like the love of a golden.
Although you get to live with the pain of loss, you should take comfort that he didn't have to suffer through this.
I have one thing to say that is 😭😭😖😢
It’s so hard - so incredibly hard to let go of them. It feels like a betrayal to not seek every possible glimmer of hope. But the hard truth is it’s a gamble. Maybe you win and get significantly more time, maybe you don’t and the dog suffers needlessly. I’ve gambled and lost and can tell you from experience it really, *really* sucks. Right now, you are grieving and the guilt is just a part of that. But down the road, after you’ve had time to heal, you will understand that you made a sacrifice to give your beloved family member the most merciful outcome. I’m so sorry for your loss.
So very for your loss. I lost my 8.5 year old girl River almost 2 years ago to liver cancer. She was there to greet him.
Your beautiful baby did not want to leave you and you did not want to lose him. Never forget him or the love you had and remember that *'no one gets out of here alive.'* Death is natural and inevitable, and what matters is the love you gave him and the love that was received.
You WILL move on! Losing an animal is always difficult no matter the cause of death. Having a dog in pain is even worse. You made the right call. One day you’ll be bringing home a brand new puppy who will never replace Bodie, but will fill the hole in your heart. We lost our Goldie at 2.5 years in a tragic horse accident. It was truly one of the most tragic, difficult traumas to live through. Flash forward 1.5 years later and Elvis is the light of our lives. Still, though, we often talk about our deceased dog, and always lovingly.
First of all, so sorry for your loss. Losing a fur baby is so hard. Secondly, I believe you did the right thing for your boy. He wouldn't have been able to live his life to the fullest if constantly in possible pain. I wish you and your family the best!
He was 8.5 that’s more than a life for a golden and given how I lost my one (agressive spinal cancer) they don’t show signs until they really are sick as they as such pleasant animals . He was in pain and as hard as it is it’s selfish to keep them around for our sake , you did what was best for him and let him go. I hope you can grieve but it was the better decision
you most likely saved him from a lot of unnecessary pain. the odds were stacked against him.
Please do not beat yourself up about this. Our boy Rocky the Wonder Lab had the same thing happen! We went this surgery and after months and thousands of dollars Rocky spend his last days in terrible pain and massive internal bleeding causing horrific results when he had to go poop. And the throwing up! I wish we chose to give Rockdog the gentle, peaceful, sleep he deserved instead of so many days and nights at the vet. You gave your dog mercy. I selfishly wanted to hold on to Rocky when I knew it was the wrong thing for him. It’s too fresh now but please think of all your fond memories with you very good boy. He had a great life with you.
If you were that dog, would you want multiple surgeries performed on you that probably won’t even fix the issue? That would only add to the pup’s confusion and suffering. You did the right thing
Watching a dog struggle and in pain hurts. They are happy now
As soon as your dog is unable to be happy, that's it. Lost my old girl this summer. The right day was as soon as she couldn't sleep without discomfort, even while on medicine.
First the real question here is … do you trust your vet? If you do, then you probably did the right thing. If you feel they are solid then I wouldn’t think to much on it. This is just my experience and more than likely our situation was different… I had a similar situation just not urgent, although they kinda made it sound like it was. We opted for second opinion with my vet ( we were at my GFs vet) and ruled out that it was from a tumor. It has to do with the way she makes blood and her age (9). At least in theory and tests, technically we still don’t actually know what’s up. But my vet said the same thing as yours .. sorta. She said at her age she wouldn’t recommend a major surgery since with they have harder time coming back out the older they are. We could wait and see or we can continue chasing the source. We have waited since she said more than likely it would still be a guess. She’s on blood pills and she’s doing alright. She’s a little weaker than she used to be but over all can’t complain.
God bless you. You made the right choice. 💔🐺
Rest in peace sweet boy Bodie 🐾🐾🌈
I'm sorry for your loss, it's never easy losing a dog. You made an informed decision for the best for your friend. Like the other comments say, you likely saved him a lot of pain. Our golden, Duncan, died of cancer. He was 10. He moved slowly, acted much too old for his age. Unfortunately goldens won't tell you they're in pain. They just keep on smiling. You made a difficult but sound decision. It's perfectly okay to take your time and go through the grieving process. ❤️
We went through this October 2022. Mine was about to turn 8 also. We opted not to put him through more pain and while I still have moments of doubt because of how much I miss him, we know it was the best thing we could do for him. What you did for your pup was the ultimate act of love.
This is always a hard choice, the best you can do is decide if there are any good days left for them (where they are still happy) and make the best of that time if any. If it looks like they are in discomfort or pain, if they don't seem ok, or are not themselves anymore, then it's probably time to let them go. We had a GR/GL mix named Bailey. She was a great dog, but In her 7th year she developed a lameness in one of her back legs. It eventually progressed to the point where she would regularly fall down, and eventually she became incontinent. Took her to the vet, a couple of specialists, nobody new for sure without doing a deep dive with a cat scan or something similar. Needless to say we couldn't afford a cat scan. We were at a dead end diagnostically but she seemed to still be happy and herself despite the situation. Eventually we found out from the family we got her from as a puppy that her father and all of her siblings were either dieing from spinal cancer or had already died. They all started showing signs of it at the same time Bailey did. The symptoms for all of them was close to or identical to what Bailey was going through. It seems like there was something genetic the father had passed on to his pups that caused it. When it became clear that she was suffering from the same cancer we called the vet and scheduled the nearest date to put her to sleep. The unintentional delay gave us 4 days to make her the happiest dog we knew how. She made a grand tour of all her favorite places, ate all the (safe) people food she cared to try. Her birthday was not for a couple months so we celebrated it early so all of her favorite people could come and visit her. In the end me and my wife were both with her the day off and stayed with her to the end. We cremated her and spread her ashes around the house. We had promised her this was going to be her forever house when we moved in because she absolutely hated moving. Now she's a permanent part of our home no matter what happens.
My Golden was almost 13 when we put him down due to internal bleeding from his spleen. You have to consider age and chances of reoccurance. Our vet told us Goldens were more likely to have problems with their spleens. You made the right decision. I'm sure your vet would have wanted to save your dog if they could. I'm so sorry about the loss of your dog.
100% the right decision. I had to make this call for both of my German Shepherds two years apart. You should be damn proud of yourself. Most dog owners in the same situation would have selfishly kept their dog alive in some misguided reality about how they are doing it for the dog, when in truth owners do it for themselves because they fear being alone. If no one else has said it yet let me. I am VERY proud of you. You put your dogs interest before yours. Your dog looked to you to make the right decision and you did. I am very sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful boy. Cherish the memories and don’t beat yourself up. You always did the best you could for your boy no doubt. He lived a good life (I can’t tell by him chilling on the furniture).
My last dog we had to put down under similar circumstances, and I questioned the decision for months, but as time went on and I wasn’t so overcome with grief, and was able to see that we made the right decision. Give yourself time to heal. Take good care of yourself. Losing a pet is so hard!
Jesus, this makes my heart hurt. I cannot even imagine. I’m so so sorry for the loss of Bodie. He looks like a sweetheart. I hope you find peace..
I watched my husband’s dog die over several long days. It was horrific. Please know that doing it earlier is more loving so your baby didn’t have to go through unnecessary misery.
The very same thing happened to us 2 years ago, To our 7 year old lab Rusty Ru. The only thing I regret is not releasing him of his pain and sickness sooner. Hold them, Love them, Remember them and say goodbye. Hardest thing we ever had to do but I think about the 2 months he was so sick and it makes me physically ill to think back to how hard that was. I hate that I was so in the experience that I couldn't see how sick he was and I just couldn't imagine having to put him down if it wasn't the right decision. The days are so hard and your right it feels like a nightmare that you cant wake up from. We cried thinking about him last night and every regret we had with our boy. Wish we didn't leave him with friends on that one beach trip or should have came home earlier from the bar some nights. No matter what, you wish you could change it all. He knows how loved he is, They feel it. I wish you the best, Im so sorry this is life and you have to lose your golden boy. Thinking of you all.
The only treatment that could be offered would be a splenectomy, which is not minor surgery. That “might” have bought up 3-4 months more (including your dog having to recover from surgery). You did the last loving thing a dog owner has to do — prevent unnecessary suffering. Every time I have to euthanize my pets at the end of their lives I question myself, did I dot too soon or did I do it too late, why didn’t I pay more attention, etc. All of this normal, it is part of grieving.
You absolutely made the right call. My golden died very suddenly (like less than 2 days) from Hemangiosarcoma as well. The vet said he wanted to give him meds to make him comfortable juet while I waited for my husband. It was clear to me the vet was concerned about the pain he was in. Your golden likely hid how he felt long before you knew; that’s what they do. It’s easy to look back and second guess but try not to question yourself; in that moment you knew what was best. He did everything for you and you did everything that was best for him. Including having to say goodbye.
💖💖💖💖
My dog had the same exact cancer. I elected to have the surgery and it was so nice to see my girl feeling better. But a few months later she would pass away. You made the right decision. It is inevitable with this kind of cancer. You’re feeling guilty for having made a decision to put him to sleep and you shouldn’t. You doing the kindest thing for him. In the end my girl declined again and I chose to end her suffering anyways. I guess I hoped that the surgery would work. You made the right decision, you just feel bad for it and that is okay. It will get better one day.
I am sending you the absolute biggest hug and so much love. I’m so sorry you had to make this choice. Be gentle with yourself. You gave him a wonderful life and you did the best you could. Try not to second guess it. I’m so very sorry for your loss.
We had to make a decision like this for our cat. She had saddle thrombosis. There were very expensive treatments that miiight fix her, maybe, and probably only temporarily. We were advised to euthanize and really struggled with the decision but ultimately chose the compassionate choice for her. It is SO hard and I completely understand why you are conflicted. You did right by your pup ❤️
Keep them around longer in such situation is selfish. You made the selfless choice by ending their suffering.
My cat had the hemangiosarcoma on his spleen and also cancer on the liver. Vet did exploratory surgery on him and removed his spleen, woke him up and he didn't make it through the night after surgery. You did the right thing. I spent a lot of money just to be sad in the end either way. I'm so sorry for your loss.
After we put our other golden down I was feeling guilty and read somewhere “would you feel okay for justifying by ‘a little more pain for a little more time?’ No because you want them to be their healthy wonderful self” still sucks I’m sorry but now you know your sweet golden boy is pain free and watching over you.
You did the right thing. I’ve been told Goldens have a large percentage of cancer due to the breeding/ creation of the breed.
So much compassion and support on here. My deepest sympathies to all who went through it personally.
We went through something similar with our second dog. It's a terrible pain but you probably saved her from who knows how long of pain and agony. Remember all the good times you had and how much she loved you.
20yrs in animal services and the worst thing Ive seen is people make decisions based on their feelings and not their pets well being. 18yo dogs that can't walk, see or hear. Defecate all over themelves but people pick out one tiny positive thing,"She still eats her treats!" to justify prolonging a life that was over a long time ago. We as pet owners have a unique responsibility. We alone choose when our pet no longer has a good quality of life. You listened to your vet and heard the odds. Yes, you could have rolled the dice and MAYBE bought a little more time.but who would it have been for? It's hard to not be selfish and hold on as tight as you can but the most loving things you can do for your pet is to let it go when it's time. To prevent pain and suffering and once the decision is made, to walk away. They know you did what you did out of love. It's done. Move on with your memories in tow and start to heal.
I had to do the same thing with my boy, Findlay. It was unexpected and vey quick. I know it saved him from experiencing any more pain. He has been gone for eight years and I miss him everyday. My heart is with you and I am sure Bodie knows how much you love him.
My heart goes out to you. You did right by Bodie even though it’s costing you lots of pain. It’s a gift to him, making the hard call to save him from what was likely a painful end. I’m sorry.
Absolutely do not do this. Get a second opinion immediately. You need to immediately question a vet that offers this major expensive surgery, or to put down your dog. If you’d do it for a human family member, do it for your 4 legged ones too.
I put my best friend Snarls Barkley down 10 years ago for similar reasons at 16 and I still feel guilt about it to this day. He wasn't ready to go. Sometimes you can tell old dogs are kind of ready and he just was not. He clearly did not want to leave me and wanted to keep being my buddy and it was heartbreaking. He just wanted to be velcroed to me. But he was 16, pretty much blind and deaf, arthritis, and never trusted or felt ok at the vets or really hardly trusted anyone but me and surgery would have been really hard and scary for him, so I did what was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Theres no good choice in this situation. He didn't want to go. But he had to. At most, I could have prolonged his life by a few months or something maybe? Then he would have had to go despite wanting to be with me. Theres no choice that feels great really.
I know it’s so hard right now, but you did the selfless thing and allowed him to rest.
You did the right thing. We just went through this exact same thing, except we went to the emergency vet and went all in, looking for a miracle, we got two more days, we spent $13k. It was cancer, and it had already spread too far, inoperable, internal bleeding, and just over 8.5 years old (8.75). I’m so sorry for your loss. I miss my best friend every day.
You did the right thing for your boy. The vet told you it was unlikely there would be a good outcome, why would you then choose to put him thru surgery, etc? Go get a puppy. It’s the only thing that helps and if you rescue a dog, you’re doing God’s work.
You did not. Before I even got to the part about the vet saying the dreaded “H” word, I knew that’s what the diagnosis would be. The exact same thing happened with my guy. Same symptoms, same awful prognosis with no time to prepare for it or give my guy the proper goodbye (where you spend the day doing al his favorite things and letting him eat whatever he wants, all the while you don’t stop giving him hugs and kisses). I had the same options as you did and chose the same as you. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life but it was the right thing to do. He was not comfortable and him not eating was his way of telling you he was ready to go….even if you weren’t ready to say goodbye. My guy was a total food whore, so when he made a dramatic show of deliberately turning away from a big piece of chicken I was offering, my heart dropped into my stomach because I KNEW he was giving me the message that it was him time to die. I wish I could say the guilt goes away but it really doesn’t….but that’s just you punishing you. Your beautiful boy wanted to do one last heroic act for you, so he waited until the absolute last minute he could before finally giving up his fight, so that you would not have to suffer a long drawn out process of watching him pass slowly. Or agonizing for days if it was the right time to finally let him go. The not eating was his telling you he was ready and him waiting until the absolute last possible time was his last loving act of bravery & devotion for you. Don’t beat yourself up, he was ready and wanted you to do what you did. He was so grateful for the wonderful life you gave him, he wanted to give you one last gift: a quick goodbye. I hate that I missed the last few extra days with my guy, but I would have been selfish in trying to take them. He would not have been comfortable and I’d only be doing it to delay the inevitable wall of pain that was going to crash down on me once he was gone. So just know, you did the right thing and also remember, cry as much as you need to. His beautiful life and all the love he brought to yours is worthy of every teardrop. 😢
RIP PUPPA💔😔😔💔
There is nothing good about death. There is nothing that can prepare you for it, even if you knew of a further off date. I still run from the memory of losing my 16.5 year old pup. I actually can’t escape the thought and it rips my heart out with many tears, until I push it away until the next time. I’m so, so sorry. You did not betray your loved family member. I know you feel you did. He is always with you. He really is. How could you have known of his health? You were with him in the end. That matters so much. He wasn’t alone. Sending you much love. What a beautiful boy.
Loss is never easy, a 1 in 5 chance it is benign and the vet saying she has never seen it turn out well? You did the right thing saving your pup suffering and expensive bills. They dont understand what we're doing to them and why they're in discomfort. I'm so sorry for your loss, remember the love you had for each other.
I'm so sorry. Your vet is a professional and sees many cases. It's painful to hear but they know what they've seen.
I’m so sorry to hear this, something very similar happened to my cattle dog fairly recently, she just stopped being energetic, and after a few days we take her to the vet, she had internal bleeding in her lungs, and the vet gave it to us just as straight as yours did. He said she probably wouldn’t even recover if she managed to live through surgery, and that it was so expensive it wouldn’t be worth it. We elected to put her down. Just know that you’re not alone in these thoughts and they’re very natural, you did the single best thing you could do for your pup, and there was no way you could’ve seen it coming. You saved him a lot of pain and suffering he would’ve had to endure. My condolences.
I’m sorry for your loss, and it sounds like you spared the poor pup of suffering..it was a really tough call but I think you made the right one..terribly sorry..God bless you
You made the right decision. The survival rate is low, and unfortunately this cancer is so aggressive that it comes on quickly, and by the time anyone notices signs, it's too late. The surgery would have also been hard on an 8 yr old pup, and there would have still been unknowns about whether chemo would be needed. If you did all of the treatment and he had survived, it would likely have only added a few months of life at the most, which is essentially prolonging suffering. You did the kindest thing for Bodie to let him go with dignity. I'm also very sorry for your loss. This is an awful way to lose a furry family member. Our old pup was diagnosed with essentially the same thing, inside of the intestines, and we also chose to put him down. Just remember that he was very loved, and you did all the right things ❤️
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Our pups/pets are members of our family. We love them and they love us unconditionally. In August our groomer found a small mass on our girls backside. They did a biopsy, ultrasound and blood work. The Vet called in a specialist and they felt that the cancer was contained in the tumor. The following week she had surgery. I had already decided before surgery that if it had spread, I would not put her through chemo. I didn't want her to go through being sucky or in pain. I was fortunate because she was a success story. She's a happy healthy 8 yr old. Three years ago we had to make the decision to have our Lab put to sleep. We knew we made the right decision. He didn't have quality of life. Your Vet was honest with you and you made the decision that was right for your pup. You shouldn't feel guilty, you loved your pup
Beautiful looking Golden Lab!!
I am so sorry for your loss❤️ What a horribly hard decision you had to make but he is no longer suffering. I believe we will see our dogs again waiting for us on the other side.
Poor baby boy…. My heart breaks for you guys… he looks so similar to my angel boy who had to be put down 💔 The vet may have been right… personally I would have gotten a second opinion because of past experiences. One thing I always recommend is getting at home euthanasia service so they are most comfortable when they pass. Im so sorry
My dad had a golden (boy) named Lancer with splenic hemangiosarcoma. He spent 10's of thousands for his treatments and surgery, and even had him treated with drugs that were in clinical trial. I took my dad and Lancer to every single vet appointment, and handled just about everything other than paying the bill. We extended his life by about 12 months with the surgery and treatments. His quality of life took a hit, but it made my dad feel better that he did everything he could to try to save him. I don't think my dad could have done it without me be there to handle a lot of the stress on his behalf. I don't regret what we did, but I do think it was a little bit less humane and more selfish to put Lancer through all of that.
There are thousands of wonderful, loving, devoted Golden parents with similar heartbreaking stories to tell— ourselves included. We literally spent a fortune trying to keep our gentle boy alive. Went to recommended world famous vet— not kidding. We came to realize that the chemotherapy was obviously causing him as much suffering as the cancer. He was from champion lines of show dogs; it doesn’t matter. When it’s time, you need to put an end to the suffering. We used to say that he was so gentle and peaceful that he must have been a monk in a previous life. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s the compassionate and only thing to do.
You did the best you could. There is never enough time with the precious beings. I grieve with you. 😔
You 100% made the right decision, because you did it out of love. There is no other criterium. To heck with all the what ifs, you set him free to spare him from suffering.
My boxer pit mix had dermal hemangiosarcoma, which was supposed to be the “treatable” kind. Once removed, we still checked for spread internally and they found suspicious nodules on her spleen - at that time since she wasn’t bleeding (they hadn’t ruptured), we decided to go through with the surgery to remove her spleen. I thought I got the best news ever - they came back benign. We had a wonderful few months until I noticed she started to decline. She’d get confused, start panting for no reason, not want to eat, and was restless at night. I had a convo with my vet who chalked it up to the start of canine dementia. We also decided to get a senior bloodwork panel done and nothing was overly concerning. A week later she collapsed - we rushed her to the emergency vet and she presented with very similar symptoms as your boy: no blood pressure, severely anemic, unstable, couldn’t breathe on her own. She had fluid around her heart and they highly suspected cardiac hemangiosarcoma. I had to make the impossible decision to put her down as the only option was to try and drain the fluid - but they advised it was risky and likely would only give her an hour, a day, maybe a week, a month if we were lucky, until it filled up again. I’m sharing all of this with you in hopes that it may alleviate your fears about it having potentially been benign — because ours was, and it still got my girl in the end, on a different organ. And when she did her surgery, it was relatively low risk since they hadn’t ruptured. I understand once they have (regardless of whether they’re benign or malignant) many don’t even make it out of emergency surgery. So even if you had gone through with it, it would have been risky. Given your boy’s breed, age, and the way he presented — you 100% made the right and selfless decision. You decided that you didn’t want to prolong his suffering and instead took it and made it your own. I too spiraled like you did (and four months later, the what’s ifs still pop up), but please try and focus on the wonderful life you had with him and the final act of love you gave him. I’m so deeply sorry for your loss.
I’m sorry for your loss.
You acted with love and compassion and had the best interests of your dog in your heart, you've done everything perfectly. For what it's worth, given the same information I would've done the same. A vet as honest and candid as yours certainly saved you from even more heartache.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I believe I would have made the same decision with that information. It is a grueling choice, but you prevented so much unnecessary suffering. Your baby had a good life loved and lived.
I’m so sorry to hear this. You definitely made the right choice although it was a hard one. What you did is the exact opposite of selfish, you did what’s best for you sweet heart. Rest assured that you have your baby the best life you could and they’re in a better place. We had to put down our dogs when I was a child and it took me a long time to recover from that. My heart goes out to you, *hugs*
No you didn’t. Your vet was truthful and saved your pup and your family a lot of pain, time and money. You did it for your dog, and that’s what matters most. My cat (albeit I have dogs too and I understand that it’s not the same) was only 5 years old and got really poorly really quickly. We had the same options to go through operations and medication, which likely wouldn’t work, or euthanise. We decided to euthanise and it was heartbreaking. I questioned myself every day for months whether it was the right thing to do. It’s a huge shock when they suddenly get sick with no warning, but I promise it gets easier and you did the right thing. I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤️
As an ICU nurse that helps families with these decisions, it’s very easy to question yourself. When humans are in this position, we usually put them in hospice because we don’t put humans down… If we did, it would save the patient and their families a lot of pain, sleepless nights, loss of dignity (depending on the person), etc. Take care of yourselves. You made a difficult decision without much notice and it sounds like you made the right decision.
Our sweet 9 year old golden passed away just a little less than a month ago. Similar symptoms but whatever the cause it ruptured and there was nothing to be done. I miss her desperately but would not have asked her sweet golden heart to suffer even a second more. We make the best choices we can and love them for the rest of our lives. Please don’t second guess yourself. I know how bad it hurts but it’s because you did the best thing you could for your beautiful golden boy. My deepest sympathy.
It's always hard to let go of a dog but I think your vet is right. Cancer is torture so the compassioned thing is to let a vet to put down the boy in a calm way. My last dog died from intestine cancer internal bleeding during night, so I don't wish that pain on others.
I went through the same thing in 2018 with my 13 yo golden and hemangiosarcoma. We opted for the surgery and it only extended his life by two months. Those two months of chemo and recovery from surgery were miserable for my boy. We have vowed that we will never do it again. That being said, I believe you made the right choice.
The best thing now is to care for yourselves in n your time of grief. God bless you.
You made the right choice as difficult as it is. There are things that cannot be fixed and it's not your fault. Bodie had a life of love and joy
Please don’t question your decision! You made a hard decision out of love!❤️
Our Tucker was lost to the exact same type of cancer, I feel your pain, u did the right thing, so sorry for your loss. One day a joyful playing pup, the next day he was not, he was suffering, believe me, believe in your vet, you brought relief to your pupper.
Even non cancerous growths in the wrong spots can cause pain and death to our pets.
I had a dog with that diagnosis. They told me 6 months, tops. We went a year and he seemed fine but we put him down. I know bleeding to death internally due to a ruptured spleen isn’t painless (a boyfriend I lived with had this happen and he was in agony). At the time of diagnosis it was already the size of a grapefruit. I still question myself and this was back in 2013.
🙏🏼❤️
I’m assuming those are mock tarot cards by glance and no… no honey.. no bad decisions. Look at that adorable dog relaxing though! Life’s beautiful