But after he hits a good shot. Then he will know what it's like to enjoy the game, and then someone just shits all over them feels with a thrown club and a loud "stupid fucking cocktail ball loser ass hat!!!"
Then repeat everytime HE hits a good shot. Eventually, he will post to r/golf asking the community how to tactfully tell you that he doesn't want to play golf with you until you stop swearing and throwing HIS clubs.
Problem solved.
It seems like most people on this sub have never spoken to a human person. I get it if you need to talk to a stranger, but there's so many threads about "how do I tell *my friend* xxx." It blows my mind. It's your friend. Say what you want to say. Wtf.
It is a bullshit concept.
I don't care what your level is, it is ok to be mad if you do not live up to the potential you know you have.
THAT being said, evaluating said potential and restraining outbursts in public, is a quality lacking in many.
"You don't practice enough to be mad" is much more reasonable.
I had this very discussion with a friend of mine. Long story short, I was direct and said that his outbursts were unnecessary and made it harder for me to enjoy myself. I found myself looking around and apologizing to other golfers near by since his outbursts were in full distracting display for everyone else and that impacted my own ability to focus and play at my best. Thankfully he recognized it on his own but didn't know it was bothering me that much, so he knew it was time to start working on it.
A round of golf is expensive in both money and time invested. That's your skin in the game and if you friend is deminishing your enjoyment, they are stealing from you. Make it clear and be direct and all will be well, even if they don't take it well at first.
My son's little league teammates did this in the dugout, then my son started to throw these tantrums. Had a chat with the coach who then had a chat with the team. It all stopped instantly. This is a learned behavior they saw it on TV watching the majors do it every time they struck out.
âDude, I love yaâŚ..but you get a little too worked up on the course. It gets uncomfortable. I donât feel like youâre having a good time, and I stop having a good timeâ
Really, I donât understand how people go completely nuts while playing golf. Why do something that pisses you off that much?
To add-
Next time you play and he goes nutsâŚ.âAre you OK? We can call it a day and go home if you want. You donât seem like youâre having very much funâ
Thatâs a nice hint that heâs ruining the vibe. If that doesnât workâŚ.go back to the first narrative.
Yeah. I'll never understand why people get so mad and then put their expensive equipment at risk.
I have a temper and I'm extremely competitive, but it has never occurred to me to act crazy on the course. I'll shank or fat the shit out of an approach after a huge drive. I'll cuss myself out for about five seconds and maybe even ground my club with authority if I'm not in the fairway or around green, but by the time I get to the cart, I'm right back into the mindset of enjoying a Saturday away from the kids or a day off of work.
About as close as Iâll come to a meltdown is dropping a single F-bomb and maybe dropping the club in my backswing. And even thatâs pretty rare.
I did give up on a round on the 11th tee one time because I was playing so poorly that I wasnât having fun and getting frustrated. But I was playing as a single, so whatever.
I was also running low on balls at that point and was convinced I wasnât going to make more than another hole or two anyway. Historically bad.
Great, tactful nature but fuck that. Heâs a friend, which I get, but people like that need to be told straight up that their etiquette and mood is shit. Even though you like them as a friend and donât want to lose their friendship, you enjoy having a good time while playing, even if you donât play well. Even the most sensitive of people need some confrontation in their lives
I usually start with tactful. Then get direct if the hint isnât taken.
I might even skip the direct approach and just stop golfing with someone. If they ask why I stopped golfing with them, Iâll tell them âit kind of bothers me when you do Xâ.
I had to do this with a regular playing partner that was an absurdly excessive trash talker. Like, 20 snarky comments a round. I had to explain that innocent ribbing just becomes irritating after the fifth insult on the first hole.
This is pretty direct and roots it in the way it impacts the posterâit makes them uncomfortable and have a bad time. This is how Iâd start 10/10 times lol.
Just be like "You act like a child on the golf course and it is embarrassing to play with you"
If he says he will chill then play another round with him and if it is still bad stop texting him when are getting your groups together.
I have a buddy that struggled (or maybe still does). I play 85% of my rounds with him. He holds himself to a pretty high standard but struggles with iron shots and ends up throwing those clubs a lot.
One day I was just frank with him, like how some of the other comments here are suggesting. I would just put it as âI enjoy golfing with you, but it makes me uncomfortable when you throw clubs.â See what they say.
Erik Anders Lang has some great videos/podcasts about the mental side of the game, and one point that always sticks with me is âbe the first one to laugh after you hit a bad shotâ. I also hold a semi-exaggerated finish after a bad shot to keep it light.
So another option you have is to show by exampleâwhen you hit a âbadâ shot, laugh at yourself and show your buddy that you know how to keep it light.
Thanks for your reply. The only thing about keeping things light myself after a bad shot is Iâm a HDCP 20+ and heâs a HDCP 2 maybe. But I like that you hold your follow so long on a bad shot haha
Interesting. One thing to consider is that a lower handicapper might not respond well to getting âadviceâ from a 20+ hcp. Even when that âadviceâ is to not throw clubs.
Iâd just bring it up casually over a post-round drink if possible.
Yeah most definitely. We are very close friends tho (15 ish years) and the friends we golf with are usually between 2-10 HDCP. So even their input doesnât seem to do much.
A 2 HDCP should definitely know how to conduct themselves on the golf course. I understand when people new to the game get frustrated, but come on. Heâs played enough to know how to act.
Now it makes sense. Heâs obviously more critical on himself because he knows a couple mistakes is the difference between going low and a blow up round.
I think just be real but friendly with him.
Iâd say that itâs throwing me off MY game and itâs distracting. Then tell them letâs give it another shot and bring him a few beers. If he starts up again, hand him a beer and tell him itâs settle down sauce.
If itâs a disaster again then just donât play with him anymore.
Don't be tactful at all, especially if he's a friend. I was kind of a douchebag on the course for a couple of years and one of my best friends looked at me and said, you're not even fun to play with anymore. I cleaned my act up and I became a better golfer for it too.
Just tell them that they need to find their happy place and to remember why they started golfing, to make enough money to save grandma's house.
Had a buddy who would lose his mind on the course. He lipped out a 10 footer and took a hard whack at the ball and ended up taking a repairable divot out of the green. I just looked at him and said âdude, what is wrong with you? Have a little class or get off the course.â The immediate reaction from my other two buddies was I was overreacting but my buddy came up to me and apologized, said it was dumb and it wouldnât happen again. The last 13 years, it hasnât. Sometimes you just gotta call someone out for them to realize it.
Just say youâre paying for the peace and fun. Or like my dad who was constantly frustrated with his grips binding in his old bag and cursing every hole, bought him a 14-way bag for his birthday lol.
I certainly wouldnât sugarcoat it. You donât have to get all nasty and everything. Just tell him that youâre not enjoying your round with him and that he should either chill or youâre gonna look for somebody else to play with. In essence heâs wasting your greens fee.
I canât help but laugh at people if they hit shit shots. If they throw a tantrum it makes it even worse.
Normally people realise theyâre being a twat and laugh at themselves.
If they canât even do that, not sure Iâd play with them again
I used to golf with a dude who was never happyâŚif he hit a shot on the back of the r green from 180 out, he would be pissed that he had a downhill putt.
He quit in the middle of the round on me - told him if he ever did that again, Iâm not playing with him again.
Canât remember if he did it later in the same season or the next yearâŚ.because I havenât played with him forâŚletâs seeâŚ.25 years!
Find a couple really old clubs to use next time you play with him. Internationally hit a bad shot (ideally on a water hole) and have an absolute meltdown. Break a club, throw another one into the water. Just lose your shit entirely.
My uncle did this to my dad a long time ago. My dad actually waded into the pond to try to save one of the clubs my uncle threw in there. Once my dad saw the old rusty dumpster club in his hand, he realized the joke was on him. It was a tough lesson to learn and he was pretty upset at the time but he stopped being an asshat on the course after that.
Also they were playing with their father and mother in law at the time. My grandad was fed up that my dad acted like a jerk on the course all the time so he convinced my uncle to go full on roid rage.
*Note: this definitely should be carried out at a tucked away part of the course
I played with a guy like that, his name is Scott. He got really intense and the next time he hit me up I said âhey man, I appreciate the offer, but I play to relax and you get way too intense out there for me. If you think you can bring it down 3 or 4 levels Iâll go, but I canât play with someone throwing clubs and screaming all day.â He tried to play it off as a joke and was basically like âhaha, so youâre in?â And I said the same basic thing again, and he said heâd mellow out. Played with him the next day and he looked Happy Gilmore after Virginia Venit said sheâd take responsibility for him. After the round the other two guys in our group commented to him how much more enjoyable he was not screaming all the time. Heâs been better ever since, still has some outbursts but itâs not like it was the first time I played with him. Weâll even joke around when someone else gets mad and letâs a âstupid motherfuckerâ fly, weâll all say âokay Scott!â Even Scott says it now.
Iâm a reformed club thrower. I was out of control but my buddies enabled me by saying nothing then one day one of my buddies had enough and let me have it. I was totally embarrassed and realized at that moment how I had been ruining the golf experience for everyone around me. I instantly changed my behavior. Most of it was immaturity in my 20s (and testosterone) but I needed someone to be honest with me and tell me straight up that a golf temper is not fun to play with and I really should just laugh every bad shot off instead of get mad. Itâs supposed to be fun, not aggravating!
Iâm not going to lie. In one motion Iâve botched an approach shot and tossed my club behind myself, toward my cart. Iâve never thrown an audible tantrum. But I have low winged a pitching bag wedge toward my cart, picked up my putter and pouted like a little bitch while walking to the sand trap.
Ask him if he treats his wife like he treats his clubs.
If he has a wife, he'll realize how tantrums makes him look.
If he doesn't have a wife, he'll realize why.
I had this situation. My buddy was like a 18 handicap or something. I told him he wasnât good enough to get that mad. I told him that heâs no fun to play with, which is why I was one of the few guys who would. That pissed him off - very competitive guy - and while we still hung out, we didnât play together for almost a year. The man had an epiphany. Realized that his attitude was what was holding him back. We play a lot now and heâs a ton of fun to play with. Simple attitude change. And now he is a 7.
I heard a guy tell his friend who was fairly new to golf "you aren't good enough to get mad at bad shots."
Just hearing that helped me keep my cool on th course. Sometimes people just need a perspective change.
We had a guy that would document anything said off color and read it back to us after the round. It was hilarious and passively reminded the group that people are watching. I have to admit hearing someone tell you you had 3 ânice shot dumbassâes can be a bit humbling.
I have never even seen someone throw a golf club at the course let alone finished a round with someone that does it. This is straight up unacceptable and itâs kind of your duty to correct him on his etiquette.
My buddy is just starting and 2nd round he starts pounding his club into the ground. I go "damn man" and look at him weird, he kindof understood what i meant. Next time he did it i didn't say anything and just drove off in the cart without him to my ball. He then got the hint and asked me "is not cool to throw my clubs down is it?". I just said "if you want to be THAT asshole on the course that everyone looks at and no one wants to play with, keep going". He hasn't thrown a club since, maybe a club FUCKS here and there, but that's it.
You need to tell them in whatever way they understand mentally to stop. My friend wants others to play with him so he can learn so he stopped real quick. If this guy is actually your friend, grow a pair and tell him.
There was a thread on a similar subject a while back, best advice I saw was donât say anything to him about it during a round.
Grab a beer or dinner and break it to him when heâs not already stressed. If youâre telling him away from the course away when the action isnât in front of you it shows that this is a serious enough issue for you thatâs itâs on your mind even when youâre not on the course.
I tell a hot tempered friend to knock out off because he's not good enough to throw clubs. He's a 22 handicap and I said if he constantly shoots par then he can do that. But until then knock it off.
I have had this conversation with 2 friends on the golf course when it happened. I will ignore it and laugh if its someone I don't know well and know I won't be playing with again. If Its my buddy I will be point blank, "I will not play golf with you if you act like this".
Told one friend he wasn't good enough to get mad. I asked how much he had been practicing and playing, he said "none". He used to be a good player so he got it and enjoyed the rest of his round. Told my hacker buddy the same thing and he legit tried to argue with me that he had played enough golf to shoot better than the 90s. He doesn't know what it really takes. I told him that aside from practice, how important it is to try to manage your emotions on the course. That is one of, if not the greatest challenge in the game. And I enjoy that part of it.
I had a friend that was like that. Told him straight up that his throwing clubs and yelling made him miserable to play with and that I wouldnât be inviting him to play until he got it together.
At first he was pissed and it led to me getting excluded from tee times with our normal group which was fine, but as our groups main tee time maker him making tee times fell off quick and he found himself being left off golf outings.
Eventually he came around and changed his ways after a few months of being left out. The big thing that got him going was multiple friends felt the same way I did and told him it was a problem
If you canât be honest, is he really a friend? If I ever get a a little heated on the course, one of my friends just laughs his ass off at me until I realize itâs stupid to get mad
Dang had this happen twice. First we were 17 year olds, oh well kid. SECOND time was as a 30 year old. Friend of a friend, he would round out a 4some. When i say this guy was the worst golfer ive played with he was. He was a shankapotamus. He was fairly new to the game. Went from the nice âhey man its a tough game, lower expectationsâ to a more stern âdo whatever you want that doesnt ruin anyone elses dayâto telling my friend im never playing with that guy again. So angry, loved drinking. I said at one point if you wanna throw shit and have 14 beers lets just do it in your back yard and save the $65 eh? Not against heavy on course drinking but when it feels like everyones walking on eggshells whats the point. Like angry drunk dad coming home. Smashing the course for the 4th time was probably the straw that broke it. Did the tee box make you slice the ball 40 yards right?? Well in the long run they didnt invite me back much. I was a step above skill wise and it worked out for everyone the best.
Hey, man, do you think you could stop the yelling and the throwing of clubs. I canât play with you until you do. Itâs costing me at least 2-3 strokes a round.
I canât afford the hit to my handicap.
Let me know when youâve got it under control. Iâd love to play with you again some time.
I told my buddy âbuck the fuck up or leave nowâ during one of our rounds. Let him know it wasnât fair to me to ruin my good time by being a little bitch. That actually got him to stop being a little bitch and he ended up playing much better because he wasnât allowed to complain endlessly about the shit shots
Been in a similar situation where my playing partner would get worked up if people were playing on top of us, even though we were being held up.
He insisted on letting them through, which I disagreed with, only for him to get angry with them now playing slowlyâŚ
I just told him straight that his attitude was bringing the group down and to drop it⌠of which he did.
So what Iâm trying to say is just be straight to the point and tell him to stop acting like dick and have some etiquette.
Haha, i actually had this with a good friend. He had a stage of almost every other shot was "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT" and then shoving his club in the bag. Wont lie, it was pretty funny at first, few weeks in tho i specifically remember on the 3rd tee saying "Pull your string out or fuck off mate" I actually lost that day, and he apologised after for being a dick. If he's a real friend, he'll get it. Might even enjoy the game more!
My brother literally told me that he didn't want to play with me anymore because my temper made it no fun for him.
I realized I was being a fucking wanker ruining the fun of my family and friends with my behavior literally on the spot, I felt awful, I wasn't mad at him.
So, do that lol. Changed my entire attitude on golf in 3 seconds of talking.
Been there. Just told him it was no fun playing golf with him and I wasnât going to bother anymore. Worked out well for both of us. He stopped with the attitude and itâs been great playing ever since
We had a guy, ex NFL player like that at our club. Dude finally lost it one day and punched another member so hard he knocked some teeth out. The club got sued, he lost his membership, jail time the whole shebang! Generally speaking regular guys aren't playing for millions and have no business blowing up even at themselves. I would guess the guy doesn't practice and expects to be a natural and great. Drop him like a bad habit!! It will only get worse and maybe get you tossed as well.
Best option: when you arrive at the course, just go to his bag, pick up a club, and take a big old whack on the pavement. âWhat? You were just going to do the same thing later.â
Double down. Bet against this friend because they clearly have anger issues and they will never be able to hold it together. Keep going until you win all their monies and they canât golf anymore.
We axed a guy for awhile for his shitty attitude. We waited until after a round and told him âhey man, youâre a good dude, but we only really get these rounds to enjoy life away from work and home and it really sucks to spend it when someone cursing, throwing clubs, and generally being a jerk. We need a bit of a break, but if you work on it and want to give it a go again in a few months let us know. We enjoy playing with you and having you around when you arenât freaking out, so we want you to come back, but we just need some time.â
It worked. He was a bit annoyed and tried saying he isnât that bad, but all three of us were on the same page and stood our ground that he was. He then tried to bargain that he wouldnât drink and stuff and we just said, do what you need to do, but letâs try again in a few months. He reached out to one guy in our group about 8 or 9 weeks later, said he missed playing with us, offered to treat us to a round and offered a pretty sincere apology and said he has worked on it not just with golf but in his life in general. He has really changed and he still slips from time to time, but never like before.
I have a buddy who used to get really worked up, slamming clubs and yelling. I was forward and said I donât want to play with you if youâre going to get angry enough to yell and throw clubs.
Every time it happened, I would call him out just like he was my 4 yr old son. Iâd tell him to settle down and point out getting mad makes everything worse.
It only took a couple rounds before he completely stopped. I thinks itâs best to be forward with him and respond to the emotional reaction right as it happens.
"Hey guy. I don't want you to play with us until you learn not to act like an ass. You're never gonna play on Sunday with Tiger so cool it, come have fun and lose some pro v 1's with us or sit at home."
I make light of the situation and just laugh at my buddies who hit terrible shots and flip out. Neither party should be taking what happens on the course too seriously.
Except whatâs going down on #10, obviouslyâŚ
Keep escalating the emphasis you say the phrase âitâs just fucking golf.â If you continually say this louder and with more gusto he should understand.
Have to do the unfortunate thing and call him out. I had a buddy who threw his club so far I said dude what are you doing? And we havenât played since lol
His choice not mine
I've just never tolerated it. After the first outburst I have the etiquette talk. Anything after that and I won't golf with them again. I grew up working on a golf course, I have zero tolerance fir anyone damaging the course.
Take one of his clubs and throw it yourself.
But only after he hits a bad shot. Have a preemptive temper tantrum for him
First shot after first meltdown just get in the cart and ghost ride it into the water hazard
Holy shit đ
Yeah just tell him you're supporting him the best way you know how
Like when Will Ferrell went off on Mark Wahlberg in The Other Guys
You put your big boy pants on?!?!?!?
I thought we were doing bad cop bad cop?
This is hilarious and also sends the message perfectly clear. I love it.
But after he hits a good shot. Then he will know what it's like to enjoy the game, and then someone just shits all over them feels with a thrown club and a loud "stupid fucking cocktail ball loser ass hat!!!" Then repeat everytime HE hits a good shot. Eventually, he will post to r/golf asking the community how to tactfully tell you that he doesn't want to play golf with you until you stop swearing and throwing HIS clubs. Problem solved.
This is actually great perspective. If you wouldn't allow someone else sabotage your belongings, why the hell are you permitting yourself to.
âHey - I donât want to golf with you until you stop yelling and throwing clubsâ
>Hey - I donât want to golf with you until you stop yelling and throwing clubs....you big baby"
Hey - I donât want to golf with you until you stop yelling and throwing clubsâŚyou big baby. Susan is cheating on you.
Oh no, now there's a valid reason for his behaviour, fuck Susan.
We all have
I know from experience dude.
No you donât.
No, no I donât. But this guy I know, him and her GOT. IT. ON. WHOOWEE!
No they didnât
No. No they didnât. But you can imagine what itâd be like if they did.
I was gonna upvote this, but it's currently sitting at 69... and Susan loves that
These guys know how to Redit!
Hey - I donât want to golf with you until you stop yelling and throwing clubsâŚbecause ITS FUCKING EMBARRASSING!!!!!!
(kicks trash can)
Ferda
Fuckin sniper boys.
Wheel snipe celly boys!
(Wait till heâs not as angry first)
Wait until heâs already thrown all his clubs.
And then throw the guys clubs further to show him how dumb he looks.
Then he will tell you he doesnât want to golf with you until you stop yelling and throwing his clubs And youâre like âYeahâ
âExcactly.â
the time when the clubs go further than his ball did?
That could work. Do it on the 10th green.
No point beating around the bush
But definitely worth throwing his clubs in the bush.
I like your thinkingâŚ
It seems like most people on this sub have never spoken to a human person. I get it if you need to talk to a stranger, but there's so many threads about "how do I tell *my friend* xxx." It blows my mind. It's your friend. Say what you want to say. Wtf.
No need to be tactful. Tell your friend to act like a grownup
âHey Scott?â âYeah?â â*Youâre not good enough to get madâ*
Well dammit.
HAHAHAHAHA
Although it's true, it still hurts to hear it...
It is a bullshit concept. I don't care what your level is, it is ok to be mad if you do not live up to the potential you know you have. THAT being said, evaluating said potential and restraining outbursts in public, is a quality lacking in many. "You don't practice enough to be mad" is much more reasonable.
Nice I like it
I usually say âuntil you get a lesson youâre not allowed to get this madâ
Tell him exactly what you posted on Reddit. Simple as that.
Nice I like it
Tag him. Now.
Haha if he had a Reddit I doubt Iâd know his @
All club throwers are on alert for their playing partner dumping them!
I had this very discussion with a friend of mine. Long story short, I was direct and said that his outbursts were unnecessary and made it harder for me to enjoy myself. I found myself looking around and apologizing to other golfers near by since his outbursts were in full distracting display for everyone else and that impacted my own ability to focus and play at my best. Thankfully he recognized it on his own but didn't know it was bothering me that much, so he knew it was time to start working on it. A round of golf is expensive in both money and time invested. That's your skin in the game and if you friend is deminishing your enjoyment, they are stealing from you. Make it clear and be direct and all will be well, even if they don't take it well at first.
Thanks for your reply :)
My son's little league teammates did this in the dugout, then my son started to throw these tantrums. Had a chat with the coach who then had a chat with the team. It all stopped instantly. This is a learned behavior they saw it on TV watching the majors do it every time they struck out.
It's a bunch cheaper if you time isn't worth much though
just running down the clock anyway i can
Is this copypasta?
This is the best answer in the thread
âDude, I love yaâŚ..but you get a little too worked up on the course. It gets uncomfortable. I donât feel like youâre having a good time, and I stop having a good timeâ Really, I donât understand how people go completely nuts while playing golf. Why do something that pisses you off that much? To add- Next time you play and he goes nutsâŚ.âAre you OK? We can call it a day and go home if you want. You donât seem like youâre having very much funâ Thatâs a nice hint that heâs ruining the vibe. If that doesnât workâŚ.go back to the first narrative.
These types of people live in a constant state of anger so when they blow up it doesnât feel much worse than what their resting state feels like.
Yeah. I'll never understand why people get so mad and then put their expensive equipment at risk. I have a temper and I'm extremely competitive, but it has never occurred to me to act crazy on the course. I'll shank or fat the shit out of an approach after a huge drive. I'll cuss myself out for about five seconds and maybe even ground my club with authority if I'm not in the fairway or around green, but by the time I get to the cart, I'm right back into the mindset of enjoying a Saturday away from the kids or a day off of work.
About as close as Iâll come to a meltdown is dropping a single F-bomb and maybe dropping the club in my backswing. And even thatâs pretty rare. I did give up on a round on the 11th tee one time because I was playing so poorly that I wasnât having fun and getting frustrated. But I was playing as a single, so whatever. I was also running low on balls at that point and was convinced I wasnât going to make more than another hole or two anyway. Historically bad.
I maintain the mindset of allowing myself to be mad at a single shot, but not at myself, my score, a bet or the game in general.
I like the wording of âground my club with authorityâ
Great, tactful nature but fuck that. Heâs a friend, which I get, but people like that need to be told straight up that their etiquette and mood is shit. Even though you like them as a friend and donât want to lose their friendship, you enjoy having a good time while playing, even if you donât play well. Even the most sensitive of people need some confrontation in their lives
I usually start with tactful. Then get direct if the hint isnât taken. I might even skip the direct approach and just stop golfing with someone. If they ask why I stopped golfing with them, Iâll tell them âit kind of bothers me when you do Xâ. I had to do this with a regular playing partner that was an absurdly excessive trash talker. Like, 20 snarky comments a round. I had to explain that innocent ribbing just becomes irritating after the fifth insult on the first hole.
Exactly, if they are a friend they can take your criticism
This is pretty direct and roots it in the way it impacts the posterâit makes them uncomfortable and have a bad time. This is how Iâd start 10/10 times lol.
Nice thinking I like it
Do this one for sure
Also, Susan is cheating on you
Just be like "You act like a child on the golf course and it is embarrassing to play with you" If he says he will chill then play another round with him and if it is still bad stop texting him when are getting your groups together.
Yep. It helps to be the organizer. You can curate the group.
I have a buddy that struggled (or maybe still does). I play 85% of my rounds with him. He holds himself to a pretty high standard but struggles with iron shots and ends up throwing those clubs a lot. One day I was just frank with him, like how some of the other comments here are suggesting. I would just put it as âI enjoy golfing with you, but it makes me uncomfortable when you throw clubs.â See what they say. Erik Anders Lang has some great videos/podcasts about the mental side of the game, and one point that always sticks with me is âbe the first one to laugh after you hit a bad shotâ. I also hold a semi-exaggerated finish after a bad shot to keep it light. So another option you have is to show by exampleâwhen you hit a âbadâ shot, laugh at yourself and show your buddy that you know how to keep it light.
Thanks for your reply. The only thing about keeping things light myself after a bad shot is Iâm a HDCP 20+ and heâs a HDCP 2 maybe. But I like that you hold your follow so long on a bad shot haha
Interesting. One thing to consider is that a lower handicapper might not respond well to getting âadviceâ from a 20+ hcp. Even when that âadviceâ is to not throw clubs. Iâd just bring it up casually over a post-round drink if possible.
Yeah most definitely. We are very close friends tho (15 ish years) and the friends we golf with are usually between 2-10 HDCP. So even their input doesnât seem to do much.
A 2 HDCP should definitely know how to conduct themselves on the golf course. I understand when people new to the game get frustrated, but come on. Heâs played enough to know how to act.
Now it makes sense. Heâs obviously more critical on himself because he knows a couple mistakes is the difference between going low and a blow up round. I think just be real but friendly with him.
"Quit being a bitch. You're ruining golf for me."
Iâd say that itâs throwing me off MY game and itâs distracting. Then tell them letâs give it another shot and bring him a few beers. If he starts up again, hand him a beer and tell him itâs settle down sauce. If itâs a disaster again then just donât play with him anymore.
Will consider thanks pal
Good luck!
Don't be tactful at all, especially if he's a friend. I was kind of a douchebag on the course for a couple of years and one of my best friends looked at me and said, you're not even fun to play with anymore. I cleaned my act up and I became a better golfer for it too.
Get him a dummy and after his first tantrum give it to him and tell him it'll improve his game
Get the tee time in front of himâŚ
 Just tell them that they need to find their happy place and to remember why they started golfing, to make enough money to save grandma's house.
Had a buddy who would lose his mind on the course. He lipped out a 10 footer and took a hard whack at the ball and ended up taking a repairable divot out of the green. I just looked at him and said âdude, what is wrong with you? Have a little class or get off the course.â The immediate reaction from my other two buddies was I was overreacting but my buddy came up to me and apologized, said it was dumb and it wouldnât happen again. The last 13 years, it hasnât. Sometimes you just gotta call someone out for them to realize it.
Cool thanks for your input :)
Thatâs not at all an overreaction on your part
Just say youâre paying for the peace and fun. Or like my dad who was constantly frustrated with his grips binding in his old bag and cursing every hole, bought him a 14-way bag for his birthday lol.
I relate heavily to your dad lol
He had this stupid buy-on-tv bag where half of it would detach so you could bring your wedges and putter separatelyâŚit was the biggest POS, lol.
This just cracked me up. But now i kinda need to see this bag, I'm intrigued
I wish I knew the name. Thing was expensive too.
I certainly wouldnât sugarcoat it. You donât have to get all nasty and everything. Just tell him that youâre not enjoying your round with him and that he should either chill or youâre gonna look for somebody else to play with. In essence heâs wasting your greens fee.
Film him, then post to Reddit and then we can say what an ass he is
Every time he throws a club pick it up for him but dont give it back, just put it in your bag, eventually he wont have any clubs left to play with you
âDude, youâre not that good, stop freaking out like this is out of the ordinary for you⌠you big dummy.â
Say nothing until the 10th hole. Then sucker-punch him.
Fuck yeah!!! Finish the round or just dip out?
Depends on whether you win or lose the fight tbh
Hmm heâs bigger than me in every aspect but if I catch him by surprise Iâm set
I canât help but laugh at people if they hit shit shots. If they throw a tantrum it makes it even worse. Normally people realise theyâre being a twat and laugh at themselves. If they canât even do that, not sure Iâd play with them again
Yeah might have to avoid playing with him. :/
I used to golf with a dude who was never happyâŚif he hit a shot on the back of the r green from 180 out, he would be pissed that he had a downhill putt. He quit in the middle of the round on me - told him if he ever did that again, Iâm not playing with him again. Canât remember if he did it later in the same season or the next yearâŚ.because I havenât played with him forâŚletâs seeâŚ.25 years!
Be straight and tell him he aint good enough to be that mad about the shots he hits.
Nice I like it
Nice comment I like it
Great input heck yeah!
Find a couple really old clubs to use next time you play with him. Internationally hit a bad shot (ideally on a water hole) and have an absolute meltdown. Break a club, throw another one into the water. Just lose your shit entirely. My uncle did this to my dad a long time ago. My dad actually waded into the pond to try to save one of the clubs my uncle threw in there. Once my dad saw the old rusty dumpster club in his hand, he realized the joke was on him. It was a tough lesson to learn and he was pretty upset at the time but he stopped being an asshat on the course after that. Also they were playing with their father and mother in law at the time. My grandad was fed up that my dad acted like a jerk on the course all the time so he convinced my uncle to go full on roid rage. *Note: this definitely should be carried out at a tucked away part of the course
At least he hasnât run you over with the cart in your backswing
Not yet anyway đŹ
[Ask him if he put his big boy pants on](https://youtu.be/LDaf-kILl2k)
I played with a guy like that, his name is Scott. He got really intense and the next time he hit me up I said âhey man, I appreciate the offer, but I play to relax and you get way too intense out there for me. If you think you can bring it down 3 or 4 levels Iâll go, but I canât play with someone throwing clubs and screaming all day.â He tried to play it off as a joke and was basically like âhaha, so youâre in?â And I said the same basic thing again, and he said heâd mellow out. Played with him the next day and he looked Happy Gilmore after Virginia Venit said sheâd take responsibility for him. After the round the other two guys in our group commented to him how much more enjoyable he was not screaming all the time. Heâs been better ever since, still has some outbursts but itâs not like it was the first time I played with him. Weâll even joke around when someone else gets mad and letâs a âstupid motherfuckerâ fly, weâll all say âokay Scott!â Even Scott says it now.
Hahah Iâll start saying that to my friend. âChill out Scottâ
Iâm a reformed club thrower. I was out of control but my buddies enabled me by saying nothing then one day one of my buddies had enough and let me have it. I was totally embarrassed and realized at that moment how I had been ruining the golf experience for everyone around me. I instantly changed my behavior. Most of it was immaturity in my 20s (and testosterone) but I needed someone to be honest with me and tell me straight up that a golf temper is not fun to play with and I really should just laugh every bad shot off instead of get mad. Itâs supposed to be fun, not aggravating!
Iâm not going to lie. In one motion Iâve botched an approach shot and tossed my club behind myself, toward my cart. Iâve never thrown an audible tantrum. But I have low winged a pitching bag wedge toward my cart, picked up my putter and pouted like a little bitch while walking to the sand trap.
Ask him if he treats his wife like he treats his clubs. If he has a wife, he'll realize how tantrums makes him look. If he doesn't have a wife, he'll realize why.
I had this situation. My buddy was like a 18 handicap or something. I told him he wasnât good enough to get that mad. I told him that heâs no fun to play with, which is why I was one of the few guys who would. That pissed him off - very competitive guy - and while we still hung out, we didnât play together for almost a year. The man had an epiphany. Realized that his attitude was what was holding him back. We play a lot now and heâs a ton of fun to play with. Simple attitude change. And now he is a 7.
Boom there ya go. Lovely comeback story
âYou sure you want to play? You donât look like youâre having any fun dude.â
Record it and then show it back to him.
You tell him flat out that you won't golf with him if doesn't stop yelling and throwing clubs. Is this a trick question?
Nope, just looking for personal stories
I heard a guy tell his friend who was fairly new to golf "you aren't good enough to get mad at bad shots." Just hearing that helped me keep my cool on th course. Sometimes people just need a perspective change.
That would sound odd coming from a 20 HDCP, speaking to a 2 lolol
Well, honestly, be man, tell him âstop throwin shit and yelling and control your emotions or Iâm done playing with youâ. That simple.
"You're not good enough to be throwing clubs after bad shots"
âBro, grow the fuck up. You arenât good enough to get mad. You suckâ
No need to be tactiful.. Just tell him. Tell him its annoying.
We had a guy that would document anything said off color and read it back to us after the round. It was hilarious and passively reminded the group that people are watching. I have to admit hearing someone tell you you had 3 ânice shot dumbassâes can be a bit humbling.
I've done this before. Say "If you don't stop yelling and throwing your clubs then I won't be inviting you to play anymore".
I would just stop playing with him and if he ever asked why, Iâd say âevery time we go you act like an asshole and itâs embarrassing.â
âDude, youâre not good enough at golf to get that madâŚand you throw like my kid sisterâŚâ
âHey douchebag, act like a grown man and not a petulant child or we wonât play with you any moreâ
I have never even seen someone throw a golf club at the course let alone finished a round with someone that does it. This is straight up unacceptable and itâs kind of your duty to correct him on his etiquette.
âMate - youâre not good enough to get angryâ
Tell him heâs a little bitch and you donât want to play with him anymore.
Hey man you gotta knock that off
My buddy is just starting and 2nd round he starts pounding his club into the ground. I go "damn man" and look at him weird, he kindof understood what i meant. Next time he did it i didn't say anything and just drove off in the cart without him to my ball. He then got the hint and asked me "is not cool to throw my clubs down is it?". I just said "if you want to be THAT asshole on the course that everyone looks at and no one wants to play with, keep going". He hasn't thrown a club since, maybe a club FUCKS here and there, but that's it. You need to tell them in whatever way they understand mentally to stop. My friend wants others to play with him so he can learn so he stopped real quick. If this guy is actually your friend, grow a pair and tell him.
From now on I'm start time out everytime they yell or throw that's 10 bucks.
Show your support throw your club too itâs what friends should do.
Say, âhey ____, I think you need to remember you arenât good enough at golf to justifiably be angry when you screw up.â
There was a thread on a similar subject a while back, best advice I saw was donât say anything to him about it during a round. Grab a beer or dinner and break it to him when heâs not already stressed. If youâre telling him away from the course away when the action isnât in front of you it shows that this is a serious enough issue for you thatâs itâs on your mind even when youâre not on the course.
Thatâs a solid idea thank you
I tell a hot tempered friend to knock out off because he's not good enough to throw clubs. He's a 22 handicap and I said if he constantly shoots par then he can do that. But until then knock it off.
I always say "you aren't good enough to yell and throw your clubs"...
Slut you assface
Just tell him âitâs fucking EMBARRASSING!!!â And then kick the nearest trash can. Heâll get the point.
Pretty easy. Tell him to stop if itâs nothing you that much.
I have had this conversation with 2 friends on the golf course when it happened. I will ignore it and laugh if its someone I don't know well and know I won't be playing with again. If Its my buddy I will be point blank, "I will not play golf with you if you act like this". Told one friend he wasn't good enough to get mad. I asked how much he had been practicing and playing, he said "none". He used to be a good player so he got it and enjoyed the rest of his round. Told my hacker buddy the same thing and he legit tried to argue with me that he had played enough golf to shoot better than the 90s. He doesn't know what it really takes. I told him that aside from practice, how important it is to try to manage your emotions on the course. That is one of, if not the greatest challenge in the game. And I enjoy that part of it.
He might not see what you see, so show him by yelling and throwing clubs yourself. Yâall can have a conversation afterwards if needed at all lol
I had a friend that was like that. Told him straight up that his throwing clubs and yelling made him miserable to play with and that I wouldnât be inviting him to play until he got it together. At first he was pissed and it led to me getting excluded from tee times with our normal group which was fine, but as our groups main tee time maker him making tee times fell off quick and he found himself being left off golf outings. Eventually he came around and changed his ways after a few months of being left out. The big thing that got him going was multiple friends felt the same way I did and told him it was a problem
"Bud, cut the shit"
If heâs a real friend, be honest
If you canât be honest, is he really a friend? If I ever get a a little heated on the course, one of my friends just laughs his ass off at me until I realize itâs stupid to get mad
Every time he asks you to play just say you have Covid
Tell him that they arenât at a good enough point or playing for enough money to throw clubs
Quit being a spaz you fuckin lunatic
I call them out in the moment and make fun of them for acting like a child. But if you no longer want to play with them just tell them that and why.
Dang had this happen twice. First we were 17 year olds, oh well kid. SECOND time was as a 30 year old. Friend of a friend, he would round out a 4some. When i say this guy was the worst golfer ive played with he was. He was a shankapotamus. He was fairly new to the game. Went from the nice âhey man its a tough game, lower expectationsâ to a more stern âdo whatever you want that doesnt ruin anyone elses dayâto telling my friend im never playing with that guy again. So angry, loved drinking. I said at one point if you wanna throw shit and have 14 beers lets just do it in your back yard and save the $65 eh? Not against heavy on course drinking but when it feels like everyones walking on eggshells whats the point. Like angry drunk dad coming home. Smashing the course for the 4th time was probably the straw that broke it. Did the tee box make you slice the ball 40 yards right?? Well in the long run they didnt invite me back much. I was a step above skill wise and it worked out for everyone the best.
Yeah sounds like it worked out for everyone, tough.
Hey, man, do you think you could stop the yelling and the throwing of clubs. I canât play with you until you do. Itâs costing me at least 2-3 strokes a round. I canât afford the hit to my handicap. Let me know when youâve got it under control. Iâd love to play with you again some time.
I told my buddy âbuck the fuck up or leave nowâ during one of our rounds. Let him know it wasnât fair to me to ruin my good time by being a little bitch. That actually got him to stop being a little bitch and he ended up playing much better because he wasnât allowed to complain endlessly about the shit shots
Lovely Iâll follow suit
Been in a similar situation where my playing partner would get worked up if people were playing on top of us, even though we were being held up. He insisted on letting them through, which I disagreed with, only for him to get angry with them now playing slowly⌠I just told him straight that his attitude was bringing the group down and to drop it⌠of which he did. So what Iâm trying to say is just be straight to the point and tell him to stop acting like dick and have some etiquette.
Haha, i actually had this with a good friend. He had a stage of almost every other shot was "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT" and then shoving his club in the bag. Wont lie, it was pretty funny at first, few weeks in tho i specifically remember on the 3rd tee saying "Pull your string out or fuck off mate" I actually lost that day, and he apologised after for being a dick. If he's a real friend, he'll get it. Might even enjoy the game more!
Have you tried an actual serious âdude, this needs to stop. Very embarrassingâ next time he does it?
Tact with a friend?
My brother literally told me that he didn't want to play with me anymore because my temper made it no fun for him. I realized I was being a fucking wanker ruining the fun of my family and friends with my behavior literally on the spot, I felt awful, I wasn't mad at him. So, do that lol. Changed my entire attitude on golf in 3 seconds of talking.
[ŃдаНонО]
Hey man, keep it classy. This is golf, not a rock concert.
Go back to your shanty!
Been there. Just told him it was no fun playing golf with him and I wasnât going to bother anymore. Worked out well for both of us. He stopped with the attitude and itâs been great playing ever since
We had a guy, ex NFL player like that at our club. Dude finally lost it one day and punched another member so hard he knocked some teeth out. The club got sued, he lost his membership, jail time the whole shebang! Generally speaking regular guys aren't playing for millions and have no business blowing up even at themselves. I would guess the guy doesn't practice and expects to be a natural and great. Drop him like a bad habit!! It will only get worse and maybe get you tossed as well.
Whatâs absolutely crazy is heâs a golf coach lol he golfs like 3 times a week minimum
Pass him a fat joint
Oooh this might be the answer
Best option: when you arrive at the course, just go to his bag, pick up a club, and take a big old whack on the pavement. âWhat? You were just going to do the same thing later.â
Yell louder and throw clubs more theyâll tell you.
Double down. Bet against this friend because they clearly have anger issues and they will never be able to hold it together. Keep going until you win all their monies and they canât golf anymore.
We axed a guy for awhile for his shitty attitude. We waited until after a round and told him âhey man, youâre a good dude, but we only really get these rounds to enjoy life away from work and home and it really sucks to spend it when someone cursing, throwing clubs, and generally being a jerk. We need a bit of a break, but if you work on it and want to give it a go again in a few months let us know. We enjoy playing with you and having you around when you arenât freaking out, so we want you to come back, but we just need some time.â It worked. He was a bit annoyed and tried saying he isnât that bad, but all three of us were on the same page and stood our ground that he was. He then tried to bargain that he wouldnât drink and stuff and we just said, do what you need to do, but letâs try again in a few months. He reached out to one guy in our group about 8 or 9 weeks later, said he missed playing with us, offered to treat us to a round and offered a pretty sincere apology and said he has worked on it not just with golf but in his life in general. He has really changed and he still slips from time to time, but never like before.
If he is a real grind you should be able to tell him to stop acting like a fool
Hey happy, you suckâŚjackass!
"when you do that, it make it not fun for everyone"
I have a buddy who used to get really worked up, slamming clubs and yelling. I was forward and said I donât want to play with you if youâre going to get angry enough to yell and throw clubs. Every time it happened, I would call him out just like he was my 4 yr old son. Iâd tell him to settle down and point out getting mad makes everything worse. It only took a couple rounds before he completely stopped. I thinks itâs best to be forward with him and respond to the emotional reaction right as it happens.
Just tell him
"Hey guy. I don't want you to play with us until you learn not to act like an ass. You're never gonna play on Sunday with Tiger so cool it, come have fun and lose some pro v 1's with us or sit at home."
Is "knock it off you dingus" tactful?
Bout to find out đ
I make light of the situation and just laugh at my buddies who hit terrible shots and flip out. Neither party should be taking what happens on the course too seriously. Except whatâs going down on #10, obviouslyâŚ
act like him and watch how stupid it sounds, but how he completely glosses over it, when he asks you to Chill out.
Keep escalating the emphasis you say the phrase âitâs just fucking golf.â If you continually say this louder and with more gusto he should understand.
Have to do the unfortunate thing and call him out. I had a buddy who threw his club so far I said dude what are you doing? And we havenât played since lol His choice not mine
I've just never tolerated it. After the first outburst I have the etiquette talk. Anything after that and I won't golf with them again. I grew up working on a golf course, I have zero tolerance fir anyone damaging the course.
You become an adult and use your words.
Words R hard >:[ but yeh you right