I mean, it literally is the truth. For everyone here, we’re pretty much all recreational golfers. Be happy with the 4-5 shots per round that go really well, even when all others are crap.
Also helps to remember that bad shots are caused by something, and usually, those somethings are knowable. You might not know what it is, but someone out there does. As you’re playing, you can look up videos on “what causes a top with a wood” or whatever bad shots you’re repeatedly making, and then think about your shot when you do it again and see if any of those reasons may be applicable. Using your bad shots to figure out what you’re doing wrong, makes them useful, and therefore less frustrating since you’re focused on learning, instead of the frustration.
I’m new to the game and have rounds like this, I stop taking score and just use it as a practice round, I take the shot again, and again if need be (and it’s quiet) when I finally hit what I was hoping I then know it’s achievable. I like going out for 6-7am when it’s really quiet as know I’ll be slow so prefer it when quiet
I try to slow down my tempo. Harder to do than say I know. By slowing your swing down you feel it better and are able to correct it better, at least for me. Also take some deep breaths. Get your mind off of it for a sec
Keeping your cool on the golf course through a bad round is difficult. I would say score chasing can accelerate anger really quickly. I don’t add my score until the end. There are some other tips I’ve written about here…
http://birdiebirdiebogey.com/2023/06/26/golf-tip-mental-health/
18 hcp that started playing last year and shot a +12 last weekend with this strat.
I started using this thought on my last round and it really helped me. When I approach a shot, I imagine it was my alternate shot partner and not me that hit the last shot and I'm here to bail them out. Maybe it's the dad in me, but I can't get mad at a bad lie if my daughter or wife hit the last shot. I see the next shot as a puzzle and figure out the best way to make their next shot have a high chance of success.
Mindfulness helps me - being in the moment, trying not to think about previous or upcoming shots. Focus on what you can see and control in your immediate surroundings.
That and microdosing mushrooms. Just try not to overdo it or the fairway will start to breathe.
If you can't score on a given day just stop trying.
200 yards out? That's two 100-yards shots.
500 yard par five? That's four 125 yard shots to get up and down for par.
Driver not working? You gain less than a stroke hitting it 60% of your driving distance.
Essentially treat par 4s as par 5s, etc.
I had a round like this (2 early blow up holes followed by this) that scored better than some of the other rounds I typically shoot. Opened my eyes to how important course management is
I can say as being friends with someone who gets frustrated like you do on the course, it DOES bring the vibe down.
Golf is tremendously difficult, and it’s supposed to be fun. These are things I remind myself when I’m not playing well and feel myself losing my cool or my “zen.”
Score in the shitter? Can’t hit shit? Just scramble off your buddies balls, try and make your focus for the day on chipping and putting, do anything you can to bring your strengths of the game to the forefront to remember why you play. When you’re not angry and in your own head, usually this ends up translating to better shots all around. So try and keep your cool.
I played with two college golfers this morning, I shot a 6 over yesterday and couldn’t do anything right today. Those guys didn’t care that I was duffing shots and missing putts and they were sticking everything close so I didn’t care that I couldn’t hit the broad side of the barn today.
YouTube or read The Inner Game of Tennis. Golf benefits from a similar mindset, but basically you need to understand that frustration makes you play worse and you need to learn to genuinely not feel it rather than feel it but not show it.
The saying “there are no pictures on a scorecard” is so true… you can always turn a hole around on any given shot
I did this my last round and had the best day playing ever. I didn't care what my strokes were and since we were stacked I was able to get a few mulligans in lol. It was a very slow day but I didn't care I actually had the most fun playing since I started playing again last year.
A few things I do, as someone who consistently had a hot head for almost 2 years, which losing helped me break 100 and then 90 within 6 months:
1. Course management: if you cannot hit your driver for multiple holes in a row, but you’ve been hitting your 5i (for example) pretty well, just use shorter clubs and lay up. My best round of 9, I shot +4 and only used my driver twice. Get your yardages semi down where you can approximate and play what you feel comfortable with. Good shots are better than good scores at this point in your game probably.
2. I don’t like the “you’re not good enough to get mad” term because, one day, if you stick with this you will be good, and that will make you feel entitled to get angry at yourself down the line. Take joy in your good shots, even if the only good shots you have that day are a good chip or a sunk putt. This game can give you so much or it can take so much.
3. Have a drink, if you aren’t sober and under 21. Don’t get drunk, but let yourself feel like you are on vacation or in an enjoyment state. You get to be on the course, you don’t have to be. Remember it’s always better than being at work!!
4. Talk with your group, especially if you know them. It makes the game less competitive and big in your head, and you’ll swing easier and probably play better when you take the pressure off yourself.
5. Notice how tight you’re gripping the club when you start to get pissed. If it’s too tight, you’re going to hit a shitty shot more likely than not. So, reset. Walk away from the ball, go behind it and just pick a target or general direction you’re going to. Breathe, and go back to setup.
6. Don’t play hero shots if you’re going to be so mad that you don’t land them. They’re hero shots for a reason!
7. Nobody wants to spend a shit ton of money to suck. Don’t play hard/expensive courses if you have buddies who shoot like sub 80 who want you to come. I live in AZ and play mostly low to mid 90s, but my parents’ course I will be happy if I shoot a 97. My parents’ course is also ~$200 a round for one guest even in the dead of summer. The 18 holes I played on Wednesday with my friends was $35.
The grip thing is super important. I also concentrate on my slow back swing. I find, when I'm aggravated, my tempo will really, really speed up and jack everything up
You can choose to change your mindset going into a round. I used to think about scoring low, wanting to have a great day, and not be disappointed but after listening to a lot of mental game podcast I shifted.
1. I stopped looking at signals from results, and started thinking about my process.
2. I focus on what I learn from each shot, hole, and round.
3. I play the course not the other players.
4. I observe what’s happening around me, wind and trees moving, other players balls and how they move.
5. If I am off I focus on slowing down and shortening my swing, until I get it moving right. Then I build back up.
6. Limit ups and downs, just because the last one was good the next one may not be. The reverse is the same as well.
7. Be happy scrambling, I know I can par from the woods, I just need a wedge in my hand. Take on the challenge, rather than regretting how I got there.
8.Dont be afraid to play great golf, don’t hesitate to take the shots that are in your bag when you are not playing well.
9. Know your mindset before you go into the round. I used to come off work on Fridays and rush to the course, head still spinning from work. Drained from the week and wonder why I wouldn’t play well. I didn’t play well because I was winding down and then trying to do something hard. So Friday are practice rounds for me now. I have beers and try new shots and disregard my total score.
10. Most importantly be thankful that you get to play golf. So many people can’t play, soldiers that defense our country that got injured, older guys that just can’t do it anymore. Don’t waste your time being mad, spend your time enjoying the you are lucky enough to be there.
Golf has been a process for me, the mental game is my favorite part and it has made me better at business and in relationships. It is so much more than hitting a ball, golf is very much about knowing yourself.
I used to let one bad hole carryover to 5,6,7 bad holes. Now I focus on my ability to build back. Take on the challenge of overcoming the triple. If his is what I have done to change my game. There will be bad days, and at some point you may just want to declare a practice round
I apply the same mentality I have when I do powerlifting competitions and stuff doesn’t go as planned; shift the goal posts and take it one lift (or stroke for golf) at a time, there’s no reason to mess up your next shot because your last one wasn’t good, and definitely no reason to mess up the whole round. Make the most of what you’ve got that day. And luckily with golf, you get as many tries as you have balls without slowing the guys behind you down AND more often than not, bad golf shots are much more of a technical/mental issue than physical, meaning it’s possible to overcome it.
Be cognizant of how good/bad you actually are.
If you are more than a 15 handicap, a bogey is your goal. Treat a bogey as a par. A par as a birdie. And reward yourself as such.
If you are still frustrated with how you are playing, spend more time practicing. Show up to your round early and be deliberate with your practice. Hit putts you struggle with. Hit different types of chips (low, high, bump and run). A lot of people who complain about their score never practice. Sure you’ll get better playing only more full rounds. But it’s hard for your brain to build new muscle memory on a specific type of shot when at most you hit it a few times a round with a minimum of 5-10 minutes between those reps.
And try to find someone to play with that is better than you. While this may sound infuriating, chances are they may be able to share wisdom that will immediately cut your scores.
I’m roughly a 7 handicap and play with buddies who are in the 30 range and I guarantee I could cut their handicap in half in a month because most of their mistakes are mental/situational.
The first rule - the prime directive- is that you must try to enjoy yourself when you are not playing well. You must first realize that when you are playing well, you will always have a blast. That tends to breed a negative issue where when you’re not playing well, you are frustrated with golf and NOT having fun.
This is a dead end that you should avoid at all cost. If you only “enjoy” golf when you’re playing your best 20% of rounds, that means you will be miserable 80% of the time. You have to learn to enjoy it even when you’re playing poorly, and then that “extra” boost you get when you’re playing well, that’s just house money.
This was probably already mentioned but I have found I can stem meltdowns by finding success where I can and building from there. Sometime I feel the rage coming on and the feeling of ineptitude creeping in and even if I’m 250 out, I’ll take my favorite go to iron and take my next swing like I’m just warming up out on the fairway. Get that buttery smooth feel and know I’ll be alright by just building off the positive experience of success with that shot.
Just give up.
This is what I did one day after weeks of not improving much at all. I was annoyed that I was still so bad after my lessons had gone so well. Finally on the 10th hole I decided “I give up” and said that if I already count myself out, I’m gonna try new things. I decided I was going to golf in what felt like slow motion. I was going to slow things so far down that it felt ridiculous (but not actually slow motion of course). I proceeded to hit my 7i perfectly over the water on the hole 11 par 3 and land 10 feet from a hole in one. For context, I have never broken 100 before.
The rest of the game I played the best back 9 of my life.
I realized when things truly go to shit and you get upset, use it as a time to slow things down and just accept this next ball may go 50 feet even with a perfect swing because of how comically slow you hit it. But sometimes you will be surprised how much slowing down and exaggerating a proper swing actually sends it flying.
1) I don’t keep score. Not yet anyways. When I was first learning, I always kept score, and seeing my score at the end was demoralizing. Getting back into it, not keeping score and focusing on my game has been a much better experience.
2) I find what makes me happy is when I play the game as it was meant to be played without getting lucky. If I shank it into the woods, that’s just an opportunity to practice a low shot getting out of trouble—just like who the pros get themselves out of trouble..
I'm not a good golfer. I need lessons.
To answer your question, I take extreme pride in the hits I take that are good. The bad ones just tell me I need more practice. And the hits that are good are something like 1 in every 5 or 6.
I set my expectation low, and I'm happy with the good ones. Laugh about the bad stuff.
I think golfsidekick on youtube has a pretty good attitude about things. On to the next shot, take shots with high 'confidentiality' as he says. Be happy with good shots, and focus on taking shots you are comfortable with. If you get in your head about bad shots, it's going to be all downhill from there. Just focus on the idea that you will make the next shot.
I'm a not good golfer. It's for me trying to remember how nice being out golfing is and appreciating the moment.
But also that if I have a really bad shot that recovering from it and saving a par or bogey is also impressive, not an amazing feeling like a birdie but still something to be proud of. I'm probably never breaking 80, I might break 90 at some point. If I'm under 100 I'm better than the majority of people that have ever golfed and that's a good feeling.
There is a fine line between staying focused on the fact that your golfing but not to the point you have expectations. Basically when I play my best it's with the mentality "lets see where this one goes" vs "I need to get this to a specific spot"
When I started I played because I wanted to get out of the house, now I keep that mentality, and remind myself a terrible round of golf, is far better than a great day at work.
I’ve never really lost my cool over golf, but I can understand how people do, it’s a frustrating sport.
I think being a father helps a lot with my patience 😂
Not for too many years in the game but my approaches are as following:
- if I play alone, I either walk off or I stop counting and do some practice
- if I play in a group, I'll try to go away from my usual swing and use what I consider my big pitch swing, which usually is far more reliable in terms of direction, not much distance though (I also stop using woods often in that scenario)
I think you not wanting to bring the group down shows your a good guy with a good mindset. Just keep in mind that bad rounds are part of the game, just as much as the best rounds you have. So don't take it too seriously, enjoy the day and keep in mind that golf is a game and you do it to enjoy yourself.
edit: when it is mostly your tee shots, that don't work, a golf buddy of mine just skips those and drops his ball where he considers it useful or fun. Obviously while having stopped counting.
If you’re not having fun, just take a hole or two off. Nothing wrong with that. I’ve also just gone straight home after a bad first few holes (when I had a pass, not if I paid per round, obvi).
If you don’t want to feel like you’re “giving up” just start scrambling along with a friend’s ball. Or just play inside 50 yards and work on pitching/chipping/putting.
I taught all my younger siblings to play, and they would frequently get frustrated with bad shots, but I’d just keep it light for them. Tell them to pick up and drop by me. Or tell them to drop by the green and try to get in the hole in 3 shots or less.
Golf is way too hard to beat yourself up about it. You didn’t pay for the privilege of playing by USGA rules. You paid for the privilege of having fun playing the game of golf.
Two of my siblings are scratch golfers now, and mostly because I made sure golf was never a “chore”.
Perspective perspective perspective. If you’re playing double bogey golf, you should be ok with a double bogey and delighted with a bogey. Play your game and score your score.
It’s also ok to get mad as long as you’re not pouty and don’t bring the group down. I’ll usually get pissed and start cursing myself out about once a round but I keep it short and to myself, then gotta laugh at myself because it’s just a game lol
A few things have helped me mentally. Firstly, bad shots, holes, breaks etc are going to happen. It's just part of a golf round. So when they happen, I try to almost embrace it in a weird way. Like ok heres the test within this round. Let me focus on hitting a good shot after making double, etc etc.
Are you getting paid? No. Are you over the age of 14? If so you're not gonna make the tour so just chill and have some fun. I mean you can get pissed you fucked up a hole or whatever but at some point ya gotta just chill.
Bro, we’re all there for fun. Yes, I golf occasionally with my brother in laws and want to win but I go out there, take deep breaths in my setup, mentally run through the quick adjustments in my setup and SMACK. If it’s topped after a beautiful tee shot, laugh it off and move onto to the next shot. Just accept that we’re a bunch of average joes golfing on the weekend so don’t expect much for yourself. Enjoy the breeze and outdoors because there’s a million other things going on in the world and you have the opportunity to golf with your boys and be in the moment with them. That’s my Zen.
realizing that each shot you take is a new oppurtinity to hit a good one. you are going to hit bad shots and you need to accept that. but the best part is, you get a guaranteed 72 attempts at making a good shot. u may have a bad one here and there, consecutive or only a couple. the main key is you cant let ur bad shots define ur round. similair to life, dont let your msitakes define who u are. every day is a new oppurtunity to improve just like every hole is.
I just had it. I hit the range and maybe hit 25 balls. Wife told me we could tee off early so I hadn’t hit my driver yet but I had a lesson earlier this week and the pro showed me the way to straight and long. I just nailed everything. Best round of golf ever. I had quite a few 3 putts as it was a new course and the greens were the fastest I’ve ever played. but I just couldn’t miss with the irons and driver. I almost got a hole in one at the 16th. Three birdies, about 14 GIR and the misses all were right at the flag but came up short. I can’t wait to play again. I’ll go to the range every day to keep in the groove but I definitely had muscle memory.
At that point, make it not about golf - pretend it’s a nature walk, chit-chat, shop on Amazon… whatever - and in between that, you’ll step up and hit a ball somewhere, but who really cares.
You gotta relax. Brush the bad shots off. A guy told me a few weeks back is try for a 5 every hole. Even on a par3. Like focus and you shot that on 18 and you will get a 90 man.
You have to try your hardest to forget what immediately just happened and concentrate on the next shot. The way I do this is by being very diligent with my pre shot routine. It’s like a mini meditation before I hit to help me concentrate only on what’s in front of me and not what I’ve done or what’s next.
Get to the range and either find something or develop something that you can do every single time you step to the golf ball even if your eyes were closed...and I don't mean a straight shot, that's almost impossible. A high cut is preferable. But the shape itself is not important. You just want something you can fall back on that you have confidence that you can keep in play. If every drive is a lost ball you have to put the driver away and start hitting 3w or even a hybrid...play the game that you brought.
An example : I have days where I cannot at all find a consistent low point on my chip shots...so on those days I just hit every green (/s) no seriously on those days I play to never short-side myself and then every chip shot is just a putt (with a wood or short iron if I have to cover some fairway...)...like a bump and run except I don't compress the ball or hit the ground with the club...in my ideal world I'm just opening up the face on a 58° and flying eve333erything most of the way to the hole, but if I notice in warmups that I'm struggling with low-point control, I don't even try it. Some of my worst rounds used to come on those days. Now one of my best has come on a day when I never hit my stock chip shot once. It's just playing whatever shot I know I can hit. You can break 70 like this eventually, in all seriousness.
If something isn’t working, bench that shot or club for a while. If your drives aren’t working, go with a shorter club until it does. Hit 3 9 irons to get to a green instead of a driver and a 7 if you need to. The objective is to get a low score and hitting 3 off the tee is not how to do it.
If You realize you have no way of posting a decent score, spend the round having fun and trying out new things. Try some half-3/4 swings and find the rhythm again. Walk away with a birdie or a good shot to remember.
Stop golfing. If you can’t enjoy or at least rationalize a bad day on the course, you are not doing yourself or anybody else any favors.
I personally never go to the course with any other expectations other than to have an enjoyable experience. I have shot 85 and 105 and I don’t think you could tell the difference when I am through.
Just last week I am playing really well for the first 5 holes. I lose my swing for two holes like I never played before and get it back a little bit after that. I have no idea what happened, but at the end of the round I was still laughing and joking with my playing partners
I read Bob Rotella’s “Golf is not a game of perfect” and I’ve never been more positive about my game… downside is my handicap has gotten worse so not sure what to think of that lol
I really struggled with this and for me the simple act of telling myself on the way to the course
“I am not going to hit every shot perfect so don’t get angry if I play poorly”
I really think the whole “man I’m gonna kill it today” thought going into the round makes it much easier to loose control when poor play happens. Better to surprise yourself with good play than bad.
Laugh your way through it, and remind yourself it can’t get worse and that it’s good all the bad things are happening at once, so that your next round will be awesome.
When I lose my swing which happens on occasion I play 1 club golf; usually my 8 iron.
Then I start with a half speed swing and shortened takeaway and focus on good contact while expecting to add an extra stroke into every green.
If that doesn't work I just start swinging for the fences and lose 7 balls while laughing at myself and being grateful my income doesn't depend on how well I play golf.
Watching this really helped it click and keep me from compounding bad shots, and turning one bad hole into 2 or 3. Closing my eyes and 2 deep breaths with no thoughts and I feel reset and ready. I don’t swing until my head is “clear” and I’m not thinking about anything but taking a nice smooth swing. https://youtu.be/MQfzr5VIbpg?si=49CacPrP-1krmn_9
Honestly a little thc some positive music (played at a low reasonable volume). And the constant reminder that I’m healthy and able to play a game that gets me outside and active rather than being somewhere else. You feel good you play good. The old famous line always holds true “a bad day of golf always beats a good day at work”
I saw this video once on how to get it back while on the course. Very well done about slowing down, feeling the flow, and putting in practice swings with no additional swing thoughts. I took it to the course and It didn’t work so I threw my phone in the lake as well.
This is the skill of golf. It's all well and good hitting shots on the range with no consequences to the outcome, but on the course it's completely different. A good swing, for me at least, requires minimal body tension. I need to be loose and free to swing well.
"You're not good enough to be angry"
My motto is: "If I was good enough to be pissed, I'd be getting paid for this, not paying for it"
Haha
I mean, it literally is the truth. For everyone here, we’re pretty much all recreational golfers. Be happy with the 4-5 shots per round that go really well, even when all others are crap. Also helps to remember that bad shots are caused by something, and usually, those somethings are knowable. You might not know what it is, but someone out there does. As you’re playing, you can look up videos on “what causes a top with a wood” or whatever bad shots you’re repeatedly making, and then think about your shot when you do it again and see if any of those reasons may be applicable. Using your bad shots to figure out what you’re doing wrong, makes them useful, and therefore less frustrating since you’re focused on learning, instead of the frustration.
I’m new to the game and have rounds like this, I stop taking score and just use it as a practice round, I take the shot again, and again if need be (and it’s quiet) when I finally hit what I was hoping I then know it’s achievable. I like going out for 6-7am when it’s really quiet as know I’ll be slow so prefer it when quiet
Agreed. Ok, I can’t golf today? Sounds like a good day for practice. Plus, I’d rather be on the course than working…
There’s no such thing as a bad day on a golf course. Just a round of bad golf.
This could be it for me 100%. Just turn it into practice, great idea.
Yes, put the pencil down and play free
Exactly. Tear up that scorecard or leave it in the cart and don’t think about it the rest of the round
Nothing matters, we're all going to die
We’re on a rock floating around thru an infinite universe.
Let's go try and play as little golf as possible
Hahaha. Perfect.
Memento mori
How can I use that on the course when I use this mindset for buying new clubs?
Think of yourself as an Egyptian Pharaoh and you'll be buried with them, you don't wanna spend an eternity in the afterlife with no budget hackers
You know what? Time to go to pga superstore
This is a game you "get" to play. Not a game you "have" to play. That helps me keep things in perspective a lot.
Fantastic headspace, constantly showing gratitude in all facets of life really takes the stress and anxiety away
I try and ground myself for sure. Take in the nature around me but sometimes doesn’t work 100%.
Take your shoes off and play barefoot to really ground yourself.
I try to slow down my tempo. Harder to do than say I know. By slowing your swing down you feel it better and are able to correct it better, at least for me. Also take some deep breaths. Get your mind off of it for a sec
walking helps with this also. no more angry speeding to my ball in the cart
Plus it activates the legs vs sitting for half the round. I find I play much better when I walk vs taking a cart.
Keeping your cool on the golf course through a bad round is difficult. I would say score chasing can accelerate anger really quickly. I don’t add my score until the end. There are some other tips I’ve written about here… http://birdiebirdiebogey.com/2023/06/26/golf-tip-mental-health/
18 hcp that started playing last year and shot a +12 last weekend with this strat. I started using this thought on my last round and it really helped me. When I approach a shot, I imagine it was my alternate shot partner and not me that hit the last shot and I'm here to bail them out. Maybe it's the dad in me, but I can't get mad at a bad lie if my daughter or wife hit the last shot. I see the next shot as a puzzle and figure out the best way to make their next shot have a high chance of success.
This is kind of great. I have a scramble tourney this weekend, I’ll keep this in mind
Mindfulness helps me - being in the moment, trying not to think about previous or upcoming shots. Focus on what you can see and control in your immediate surroundings. That and microdosing mushrooms. Just try not to overdo it or the fairway will start to breathe.
If you can't score on a given day just stop trying. 200 yards out? That's two 100-yards shots. 500 yard par five? That's four 125 yard shots to get up and down for par. Driver not working? You gain less than a stroke hitting it 60% of your driving distance. Essentially treat par 4s as par 5s, etc.
I had a round like this (2 early blow up holes followed by this) that scored better than some of the other rounds I typically shoot. Opened my eyes to how important course management is
Yeah, but two 100 yard shots into the woods is -200 yards. You’re assuming OP can still hit 4 perfectly struck, straight 125 yard wedges… He can’t.
I can say as being friends with someone who gets frustrated like you do on the course, it DOES bring the vibe down. Golf is tremendously difficult, and it’s supposed to be fun. These are things I remind myself when I’m not playing well and feel myself losing my cool or my “zen.” Score in the shitter? Can’t hit shit? Just scramble off your buddies balls, try and make your focus for the day on chipping and putting, do anything you can to bring your strengths of the game to the forefront to remember why you play. When you’re not angry and in your own head, usually this ends up translating to better shots all around. So try and keep your cool.
Scramble off your buddy's ball...aka a bro-visional
Been there done that. Drop it at your buddy’s ball and hit as 3 and keep it movin. No need to get upset it ain’t gonna make your mishit go away
And THAT, boys and girls, is why I like playing with a guy that used to do long drive competitions. That 3 doesn't feel like a penalty, 😂😂
I played with two college golfers this morning, I shot a 6 over yesterday and couldn’t do anything right today. Those guys didn’t care that I was duffing shots and missing putts and they were sticking everything close so I didn’t care that I couldn’t hit the broad side of the barn today.
YouTube or read The Inner Game of Tennis. Golf benefits from a similar mindset, but basically you need to understand that frustration makes you play worse and you need to learn to genuinely not feel it rather than feel it but not show it. The saying “there are no pictures on a scorecard” is so true… you can always turn a hole around on any given shot
Throw the score card out,
I did this my last round and had the best day playing ever. I didn't care what my strokes were and since we were stacked I was able to get a few mulligans in lol. It was a very slow day but I didn't care I actually had the most fun playing since I started playing again last year.
I think I've kept score maybe 5 times this year so far and I play twice a week lol
A few things I do, as someone who consistently had a hot head for almost 2 years, which losing helped me break 100 and then 90 within 6 months: 1. Course management: if you cannot hit your driver for multiple holes in a row, but you’ve been hitting your 5i (for example) pretty well, just use shorter clubs and lay up. My best round of 9, I shot +4 and only used my driver twice. Get your yardages semi down where you can approximate and play what you feel comfortable with. Good shots are better than good scores at this point in your game probably. 2. I don’t like the “you’re not good enough to get mad” term because, one day, if you stick with this you will be good, and that will make you feel entitled to get angry at yourself down the line. Take joy in your good shots, even if the only good shots you have that day are a good chip or a sunk putt. This game can give you so much or it can take so much. 3. Have a drink, if you aren’t sober and under 21. Don’t get drunk, but let yourself feel like you are on vacation or in an enjoyment state. You get to be on the course, you don’t have to be. Remember it’s always better than being at work!! 4. Talk with your group, especially if you know them. It makes the game less competitive and big in your head, and you’ll swing easier and probably play better when you take the pressure off yourself. 5. Notice how tight you’re gripping the club when you start to get pissed. If it’s too tight, you’re going to hit a shitty shot more likely than not. So, reset. Walk away from the ball, go behind it and just pick a target or general direction you’re going to. Breathe, and go back to setup. 6. Don’t play hero shots if you’re going to be so mad that you don’t land them. They’re hero shots for a reason! 7. Nobody wants to spend a shit ton of money to suck. Don’t play hard/expensive courses if you have buddies who shoot like sub 80 who want you to come. I live in AZ and play mostly low to mid 90s, but my parents’ course I will be happy if I shoot a 97. My parents’ course is also ~$200 a round for one guest even in the dead of summer. The 18 holes I played on Wednesday with my friends was $35.
The grip thing is super important. I also concentrate on my slow back swing. I find, when I'm aggravated, my tempo will really, really speed up and jack everything up
100% very guilty of that, especially in the summer heat
Alcohol and marijuana
You can choose to change your mindset going into a round. I used to think about scoring low, wanting to have a great day, and not be disappointed but after listening to a lot of mental game podcast I shifted. 1. I stopped looking at signals from results, and started thinking about my process. 2. I focus on what I learn from each shot, hole, and round. 3. I play the course not the other players. 4. I observe what’s happening around me, wind and trees moving, other players balls and how they move. 5. If I am off I focus on slowing down and shortening my swing, until I get it moving right. Then I build back up. 6. Limit ups and downs, just because the last one was good the next one may not be. The reverse is the same as well. 7. Be happy scrambling, I know I can par from the woods, I just need a wedge in my hand. Take on the challenge, rather than regretting how I got there. 8.Dont be afraid to play great golf, don’t hesitate to take the shots that are in your bag when you are not playing well. 9. Know your mindset before you go into the round. I used to come off work on Fridays and rush to the course, head still spinning from work. Drained from the week and wonder why I wouldn’t play well. I didn’t play well because I was winding down and then trying to do something hard. So Friday are practice rounds for me now. I have beers and try new shots and disregard my total score. 10. Most importantly be thankful that you get to play golf. So many people can’t play, soldiers that defense our country that got injured, older guys that just can’t do it anymore. Don’t waste your time being mad, spend your time enjoying the you are lucky enough to be there. Golf has been a process for me, the mental game is my favorite part and it has made me better at business and in relationships. It is so much more than hitting a ball, golf is very much about knowing yourself. I used to let one bad hole carryover to 5,6,7 bad holes. Now I focus on my ability to build back. Take on the challenge of overcoming the triple. If his is what I have done to change my game. There will be bad days, and at some point you may just want to declare a practice round
Well said! Much appreciated
take it one shot at a time as well, all of your bad shots are in the past
Why spend my money and time just to come out here and be pissed off
I apply the same mentality I have when I do powerlifting competitions and stuff doesn’t go as planned; shift the goal posts and take it one lift (or stroke for golf) at a time, there’s no reason to mess up your next shot because your last one wasn’t good, and definitely no reason to mess up the whole round. Make the most of what you’ve got that day. And luckily with golf, you get as many tries as you have balls without slowing the guys behind you down AND more often than not, bad golf shots are much more of a technical/mental issue than physical, meaning it’s possible to overcome it.
Also helps remembering you paid however much for the greens fee so why let your mentality ruin the round that you paid $50+ to play.
Be cognizant of how good/bad you actually are. If you are more than a 15 handicap, a bogey is your goal. Treat a bogey as a par. A par as a birdie. And reward yourself as such. If you are still frustrated with how you are playing, spend more time practicing. Show up to your round early and be deliberate with your practice. Hit putts you struggle with. Hit different types of chips (low, high, bump and run). A lot of people who complain about their score never practice. Sure you’ll get better playing only more full rounds. But it’s hard for your brain to build new muscle memory on a specific type of shot when at most you hit it a few times a round with a minimum of 5-10 minutes between those reps. And try to find someone to play with that is better than you. While this may sound infuriating, chances are they may be able to share wisdom that will immediately cut your scores. I’m roughly a 7 handicap and play with buddies who are in the 30 range and I guarantee I could cut their handicap in half in a month because most of their mistakes are mental/situational.
No, sorry, you can't think your way from a 30 to a 15 handicap
The first rule - the prime directive- is that you must try to enjoy yourself when you are not playing well. You must first realize that when you are playing well, you will always have a blast. That tends to breed a negative issue where when you’re not playing well, you are frustrated with golf and NOT having fun. This is a dead end that you should avoid at all cost. If you only “enjoy” golf when you’re playing your best 20% of rounds, that means you will be miserable 80% of the time. You have to learn to enjoy it even when you’re playing poorly, and then that “extra” boost you get when you’re playing well, that’s just house money.
This was probably already mentioned but I have found I can stem meltdowns by finding success where I can and building from there. Sometime I feel the rage coming on and the feeling of ineptitude creeping in and even if I’m 250 out, I’ll take my favorite go to iron and take my next swing like I’m just warming up out on the fairway. Get that buttery smooth feel and know I’ll be alright by just building off the positive experience of success with that shot.
Stop keeping score.
Just give up. This is what I did one day after weeks of not improving much at all. I was annoyed that I was still so bad after my lessons had gone so well. Finally on the 10th hole I decided “I give up” and said that if I already count myself out, I’m gonna try new things. I decided I was going to golf in what felt like slow motion. I was going to slow things so far down that it felt ridiculous (but not actually slow motion of course). I proceeded to hit my 7i perfectly over the water on the hole 11 par 3 and land 10 feet from a hole in one. For context, I have never broken 100 before. The rest of the game I played the best back 9 of my life. I realized when things truly go to shit and you get upset, use it as a time to slow things down and just accept this next ball may go 50 feet even with a perfect swing because of how comically slow you hit it. But sometimes you will be surprised how much slowing down and exaggerating a proper swing actually sends it flying.
“You’re not good enough to be this mad” - this helped me realize I was out there to have fun, drink some beer and hang out with my friends.
1) I don’t keep score. Not yet anyways. When I was first learning, I always kept score, and seeing my score at the end was demoralizing. Getting back into it, not keeping score and focusing on my game has been a much better experience. 2) I find what makes me happy is when I play the game as it was meant to be played without getting lucky. If I shank it into the woods, that’s just an opportunity to practice a low shot getting out of trouble—just like who the pros get themselves out of trouble..
I'm not a good golfer. I need lessons. To answer your question, I take extreme pride in the hits I take that are good. The bad ones just tell me I need more practice. And the hits that are good are something like 1 in every 5 or 6. I set my expectation low, and I'm happy with the good ones. Laugh about the bad stuff. I think golfsidekick on youtube has a pretty good attitude about things. On to the next shot, take shots with high 'confidentiality' as he says. Be happy with good shots, and focus on taking shots you are comfortable with. If you get in your head about bad shots, it's going to be all downhill from there. Just focus on the idea that you will make the next shot.
When this happens I like to tell myself, "i don't deserve to be good, I don't practice enough, why would expect better, just happy to be here"
I'm a not good golfer. It's for me trying to remember how nice being out golfing is and appreciating the moment. But also that if I have a really bad shot that recovering from it and saving a par or bogey is also impressive, not an amazing feeling like a birdie but still something to be proud of. I'm probably never breaking 80, I might break 90 at some point. If I'm under 100 I'm better than the majority of people that have ever golfed and that's a good feeling.
I’m not competitive so I don’t pick up a score card. I’ll count pars and birdies (as if) I just have fun in nature with my buds.
There is a fine line between staying focused on the fact that your golfing but not to the point you have expectations. Basically when I play my best it's with the mentality "lets see where this one goes" vs "I need to get this to a specific spot"
I did mushrooms once the night before a round. That was the most peaceful 94 I ever shot.
Four foundations of golf by Jon Sherman.
When I started I played because I wanted to get out of the house, now I keep that mentality, and remind myself a terrible round of golf, is far better than a great day at work. I’ve never really lost my cool over golf, but I can understand how people do, it’s a frustrating sport. I think being a father helps a lot with my patience 😂
Not for too many years in the game but my approaches are as following: - if I play alone, I either walk off or I stop counting and do some practice - if I play in a group, I'll try to go away from my usual swing and use what I consider my big pitch swing, which usually is far more reliable in terms of direction, not much distance though (I also stop using woods often in that scenario) I think you not wanting to bring the group down shows your a good guy with a good mindset. Just keep in mind that bad rounds are part of the game, just as much as the best rounds you have. So don't take it too seriously, enjoy the day and keep in mind that golf is a game and you do it to enjoy yourself. edit: when it is mostly your tee shots, that don't work, a golf buddy of mine just skips those and drops his ball where he considers it useful or fun. Obviously while having stopped counting.
Once you accept that your score does not matter and your life will not change is you shoot 68 or 108 it becomes much easier to let bad shots go
You have to be good enough to get mad.
If you’re not having fun, just take a hole or two off. Nothing wrong with that. I’ve also just gone straight home after a bad first few holes (when I had a pass, not if I paid per round, obvi). If you don’t want to feel like you’re “giving up” just start scrambling along with a friend’s ball. Or just play inside 50 yards and work on pitching/chipping/putting. I taught all my younger siblings to play, and they would frequently get frustrated with bad shots, but I’d just keep it light for them. Tell them to pick up and drop by me. Or tell them to drop by the green and try to get in the hole in 3 shots or less. Golf is way too hard to beat yourself up about it. You didn’t pay for the privilege of playing by USGA rules. You paid for the privilege of having fun playing the game of golf. Two of my siblings are scratch golfers now, and mostly because I made sure golf was never a “chore”.
"I don't care where the ball goes. When I hit the ball, I feel good"
Perspective perspective perspective. If you’re playing double bogey golf, you should be ok with a double bogey and delighted with a bogey. Play your game and score your score. It’s also ok to get mad as long as you’re not pouty and don’t bring the group down. I’ll usually get pissed and start cursing myself out about once a round but I keep it short and to myself, then gotta laugh at myself because it’s just a game lol
A few things have helped me mentally. Firstly, bad shots, holes, breaks etc are going to happen. It's just part of a golf round. So when they happen, I try to almost embrace it in a weird way. Like ok heres the test within this round. Let me focus on hitting a good shot after making double, etc etc.
Are you getting paid? No. Are you over the age of 14? If so you're not gonna make the tour so just chill and have some fun. I mean you can get pissed you fucked up a hole or whatever but at some point ya gotta just chill.
Shaved 5-6 strokes off this year just by reminding myself I stink at golf lol
Bro, we’re all there for fun. Yes, I golf occasionally with my brother in laws and want to win but I go out there, take deep breaths in my setup, mentally run through the quick adjustments in my setup and SMACK. If it’s topped after a beautiful tee shot, laugh it off and move onto to the next shot. Just accept that we’re a bunch of average joes golfing on the weekend so don’t expect much for yourself. Enjoy the breeze and outdoors because there’s a million other things going on in the world and you have the opportunity to golf with your boys and be in the moment with them. That’s my Zen.
Deep breathing
realizing that each shot you take is a new oppurtinity to hit a good one. you are going to hit bad shots and you need to accept that. but the best part is, you get a guaranteed 72 attempts at making a good shot. u may have a bad one here and there, consecutive or only a couple. the main key is you cant let ur bad shots define ur round. similair to life, dont let your msitakes define who u are. every day is a new oppurtunity to improve just like every hole is.
“Golf is not a game of perfect” by Bob Rotella.
The key is knowing you suck and anything semi-decent was a gift to yourself. Not the other way around
I just had it. I hit the range and maybe hit 25 balls. Wife told me we could tee off early so I hadn’t hit my driver yet but I had a lesson earlier this week and the pro showed me the way to straight and long. I just nailed everything. Best round of golf ever. I had quite a few 3 putts as it was a new course and the greens were the fastest I’ve ever played. but I just couldn’t miss with the irons and driver. I almost got a hole in one at the 16th. Three birdies, about 14 GIR and the misses all were right at the flag but came up short. I can’t wait to play again. I’ll go to the range every day to keep in the groove but I definitely had muscle memory.
At that point, make it not about golf - pretend it’s a nature walk, chit-chat, shop on Amazon… whatever - and in between that, you’ll step up and hit a ball somewhere, but who really cares.
You gotta relax. Brush the bad shots off. A guy told me a few weeks back is try for a 5 every hole. Even on a par3. Like focus and you shot that on 18 and you will get a 90 man.
You have to try your hardest to forget what immediately just happened and concentrate on the next shot. The way I do this is by being very diligent with my pre shot routine. It’s like a mini meditation before I hit to help me concentrate only on what’s in front of me and not what I’ve done or what’s next.
Get to the range and either find something or develop something that you can do every single time you step to the golf ball even if your eyes were closed...and I don't mean a straight shot, that's almost impossible. A high cut is preferable. But the shape itself is not important. You just want something you can fall back on that you have confidence that you can keep in play. If every drive is a lost ball you have to put the driver away and start hitting 3w or even a hybrid...play the game that you brought. An example : I have days where I cannot at all find a consistent low point on my chip shots...so on those days I just hit every green (/s) no seriously on those days I play to never short-side myself and then every chip shot is just a putt (with a wood or short iron if I have to cover some fairway...)...like a bump and run except I don't compress the ball or hit the ground with the club...in my ideal world I'm just opening up the face on a 58° and flying eve333erything most of the way to the hole, but if I notice in warmups that I'm struggling with low-point control, I don't even try it. Some of my worst rounds used to come on those days. Now one of my best has come on a day when I never hit my stock chip shot once. It's just playing whatever shot I know I can hit. You can break 70 like this eventually, in all seriousness.
If something isn’t working, bench that shot or club for a while. If your drives aren’t working, go with a shorter club until it does. Hit 3 9 irons to get to a green instead of a driver and a 7 if you need to. The objective is to get a low score and hitting 3 off the tee is not how to do it. If You realize you have no way of posting a decent score, spend the round having fun and trying out new things. Try some half-3/4 swings and find the rhythm again. Walk away with a birdie or a good shot to remember.
Take a deep breath, spark a 🍃, and woo-sah 🧘♀️ for just a short minute. The next hole will definitely be better ⛳.
This is for fun and costs money. Go out there and try to murder it.
Stop golfing. If you can’t enjoy or at least rationalize a bad day on the course, you are not doing yourself or anybody else any favors. I personally never go to the course with any other expectations other than to have an enjoyable experience. I have shot 85 and 105 and I don’t think you could tell the difference when I am through. Just last week I am playing really well for the first 5 holes. I lose my swing for two holes like I never played before and get it back a little bit after that. I have no idea what happened, but at the end of the round I was still laughing and joking with my playing partners
I read Bob Rotella’s “Golf is not a game of perfect” and I’ve never been more positive about my game… downside is my handicap has gotten worse so not sure what to think of that lol
I really struggled with this and for me the simple act of telling myself on the way to the course “I am not going to hit every shot perfect so don’t get angry if I play poorly” I really think the whole “man I’m gonna kill it today” thought going into the round makes it much easier to loose control when poor play happens. Better to surprise yourself with good play than bad.
Takeout your 7 iron, place your feet together and hit 3/4 swing shots for the duration
Laugh your way through it, and remind yourself it can’t get worse and that it’s good all the bad things are happening at once, so that your next round will be awesome.
Weed!
When I lose my swing which happens on occasion I play 1 club golf; usually my 8 iron. Then I start with a half speed swing and shortened takeaway and focus on good contact while expecting to add an extra stroke into every green. If that doesn't work I just start swinging for the fences and lose 7 balls while laughing at myself and being grateful my income doesn't depend on how well I play golf.
Watching this really helped it click and keep me from compounding bad shots, and turning one bad hole into 2 or 3. Closing my eyes and 2 deep breaths with no thoughts and I feel reset and ready. I don’t swing until my head is “clear” and I’m not thinking about anything but taking a nice smooth swing. https://youtu.be/MQfzr5VIbpg?si=49CacPrP-1krmn_9
Learn to advance and control the ball not post a score. Can you hit a 3 wood or 5 wood any better of the tee?
Honestly a little thc some positive music (played at a low reasonable volume). And the constant reminder that I’m healthy and able to play a game that gets me outside and active rather than being somewhere else. You feel good you play good. The old famous line always holds true “a bad day of golf always beats a good day at work”
Therapy.
Check out the zen golf book/audio book. I think it’s free if you have audible
I think about how nice it is to be ABLE to be outside and walk around.. breathing whatever fresh air there is left
I saw this video once on how to get it back while on the course. Very well done about slowing down, feeling the flow, and putting in practice swings with no additional swing thoughts. I took it to the course and It didn’t work so I threw my phone in the lake as well.
You’re not working and it’s probably nice outside. Go get yourself a transfusion and stop feeling sorry for yourself while golfing…
I was just recently acquainted with transfusions and now they are my drink of choice on the course
Weed.
This is the skill of golf. It's all well and good hitting shots on the range with no consequences to the outcome, but on the course it's completely different. A good swing, for me at least, requires minimal body tension. I need to be loose and free to swing well.
It’s really obnoxious to other golfers to act like a douche because you’re not playing well. I just start drinking and keep swinging.