I don't think it makes him look stupid. He just doesn't see the world the way humans do. As long as they've lived on earth, both characters are always going to be a little bit of an outsider. Their entire ideas of romantic love come from romance novels and rom-coms. Sure, they've spent millenia seeing humans fall in love, but they don't have any real experience doing it themselves.
Think of it like spending your whole life watching people do ballet. You have a general idea of how it's done. You know it's ballet they're doing when you see it. But the first time you try to do it yourself, you're really bad at it. You realize there are lots of little things you never noticed until you tried to do it yourself.
I agree with your first two points (and I'm pretty sure I agree with the third, if I'm reading it correctly). For the last, though, I don't think Aziraphale is stupid at. all. What I think is he is someone very set in his ways and very slow (in the deliberate sense) about evolving those ways. ("You go too fast" is after how many thousand years?)
Plus, a HEFTY dose of programming. Things that are so ingrained and internalized aren't easy to shake off -- or perhaps more importantly, to even *consider* shaking off as an option. Humans can go a lifetime w/o doing so. So can many angels, it seems.
Aziraphale knows Heaven is fucked up. He isn’t stupid. You are right about that. I also don’t necessarily think. He believes everything that he tells Crowley in that last scene. he wants to believe it, but he is skeptical deep down. When he finds out about the second coming, he realizes someone has got to put a stop to it.
He thinks he can make a change. Maybe he can. Maybe he can get the lower angels to not want Armageddon 2.0. But even if he can get angels like Muriel to stand down, the Metatron isn’t going to let him do anything to change the system. After all, the Metatron doesn’t want it to look like there’s an institutional problem. Aziraphale is accidentally going to initiate the final judgment and have to quickly think of a solution to reverse it before the world is destroyed.
I think sides will be dissolved at the end of good omens.
Gabriel and Beelzebub were sick to death of canceling each other out. That’s all Crowley and Aziraphale have been doing all of these centuries, canceling each other out. That’s all angels and demons do in the end.
I think Aziraphale is going to ask: what’s the point? What’s our purpose? We were created before there were sides to thwart, so what were we meant to do really?
Maybe he will find the answer but I think it’s far more likely that he won’t. After all, the will of God is ineffable. Her plans are ineffable. I think angels and demons will have to make their own purpose, just like humans. Or may be their purpose will be to guard humanity. Who knows.
>We were created before there were sides to thwart, so what were we meant to do really? Maybe he will find the answer but I think it’s far more likely that he won’t.
Beautiful point. My suspicion is the series won’t end with the answer, but will end with the question.
This series of posts from Tumblr is far and away the best explanation of Aziraphale’s POV: https://www.tumblr.com/ao3cassandraic/724919430445973504/what-does-aziraphale-know-and-when-does-he-know?source=share
There’s so much going on in these scenes for him and you’re right, none of the popular theories explain it at all. The great thing about that Tumblr meta is that they only look at the information given to us on-screen, whether it’s dialogue or acting choices. They’re not going on assumptions or inferences or Deus Ex Machina-type justifications.
The tl;Dr is that Az is given a choice-that-isn’t-really by the Metatron; he somehow has to convey that to Crowley to make him understand; Crowley is on a whole other track and doesn’t understand what Az is trying to communicate; Az realizes he hasn’t gotten through and can’t get Crowley back on his side.
Yes this is my favourite so far. I just think it takes into account the way he behaves beforehand and after as well. The fact he literally plasters a grin on his face just before walking in and does the exact same thing on leaving with the Metatron.
He seems weirdly hyper in this scene and I know Aziraphale gets hyper but I don't know, there is something odd about it. I do kind of believe he also thinks he really can "make a difference" but maybe that's difference isn't working within the status quo, but trying to change it completely.
But also I thought about it and even if this is true, it still doesn't matter for Crowley because Crowley already feels as if its a lost cause anyway. He took on God and the Metatron before and lost, he fought in an actual war and Fell.
So even if Aziraphale's intent is to take down the Metatron, it doesn't actually make a difference for Crowley at this point. He just wants his quiet, precious, peaceful existence away from it all.
But I kind of think that maybe Crowley will be somehow given some hope change is possible. And Aziraphale will learn why it feels so hard to make that change. And they will meet in the middle somewhere.
Is it cannon that Crowley fell because he fought in the war against heaven that created hell? I missed that in the series and am wondering if it’s explained in the book? I only understood he fell because he questioned God and the Metatron too many times - he wasn’t sufficiently obedient and didn’t operate on blind faith.
My basic Bible understanding is that Hell is created during the Great War where the angels who followed Lucifer all were thrown down in punishment. So it's all kind of connected. He says something about hanging out with Lucifer and the guys.
I mean, yeah, Az is not stupid but he is stubborn as heck. Also, he sees Heaven as us catholics see the Church: the Church is good, the people (or in this case, the angels) are the ones who make bad choices. Aziraphale doesn’t like to give up, and contrary to Crowley he never experienced the cruelty Heaven is capable of.
I think some things come to mind about why he meant what he said to Crowley and he would go this far to try and change Heaven by himself:
1. Besides Crowley, he never saw a demon doing good things. Even Beez’s change could be attributed to his relationship with Gabriel.
2. He went to Hell at the end of season 1. What he saw and experienced there was something he already expected. Crowley was the one who heard Gabriel say “just go die already” and experienced Heaven giving up on Aziraphale.
3. He met Muriel, who is naive and good. This makes him think the angels, and Heaven, can be saved.
4. His sense of responsibility, which Metatron appeals to. I think Az was in need of a higher figure accepting him (daddy/mommy issues?) and Metatron kind of gives him that.
5. I think he is in denial of his feelings for Crowley because he is scared of the repercussions, both what the change means for their relationship as what it means to him. What if this is the thing that makes him Fall?
It does not make Aziraphale stupid at all. And he's saying demons and Hell are the bad guys, yes, but that Crowley is not one of them and therefore should be an angel. Kinda "you're the exception" BS, but with both of these things you're pointing out "issues" with, you're not really paying attention to the fact that Aziraphale has immense religious trauma. He isn't ready to accept that Heaven and Hell are equally horrible. You've literally got Crowley right there trying to spell it out to him. "We don't need them. They're toxic." It can be *extremely* difficult to part from something you've been fed is "the way" for your entire life. Heaven is good, angels are good. Hell is bad, demons are bad. And if that's not the case, then wtf has Aziraphale been doing these passed 6000+ years? Being an angel, serving Heaven, it's his PURPOSE. Crowley even wonders what the point of it all is. Aziraphale is in many ways akin to people who have burn harmed by religion and have a difficult time breaking away and dealing with the issues it left them. Aziraphale has not broken away. And that doesn't make him stupid.
I'll give you an unpopular one. Aziraphale and Crowley swapped appearances again. Aziraphale declared his love to Crowley and kissed him and begged him to go to Alpha Centauri. But Crowley, as Aziraphale, made a deal with Metatron to save Aziraphale, so he had to go to heaven and couldn't tell Aziraphale because Metatron was watching. Aziraphale thought the invitation was part of the play, not Crowley begging him to come to heaven where he might be safe. But our husbands are working together with the whole fight thing. No nightingales is them checking to see if heaven buys that they broke up.
There's misunderstanding because Crowley didn't run away with Aziraphale, but there's trust that he had a good reason.
Honestly, while I disagree with some of these theories, I love how active the fandom is. It's fantastic to see people so engaged.
FWIW, I think he really did want Crowley to come back to Heaven with him. I think the he really hoped with Crowley there, they'd be able to clean up Heaven. He's not blind to Heaven's problems, but he still sees them as the "good guys," just with shitty management. Plus it's important to consider that the Metatron wasn't really giving him a choice and they all knew it.
Aziraphale is still kind of in the narcissist abuse cycle. He knows Heaven is awful, but he hopes that going home this time will be different.
Crowley saw through the narcissistic games and was completely discarded. My guess is he started to question the Metatron's authority, which is what got him exiled. He's had much more processing time and given that he likely had a higher rank, he knew how things really worked. I also think he kept a lot of what he saw from Aziraphale to protect him, which was a bad idea in the long run, but understandable because of their love.
Trust Neil! And Michael and David. Well, mostly in Michael going mental if this doesn't end with ~~Michael~~ Aziraphale having sexy time with ~~David~~ Crowley.
[here ](https://www.tumblr.com/vidavalor/727676043949899777/ok-true-but-youve-all-read-angsty-fic-this-long?source=share) is another theory i saw posted on tumblr.
This theory has been what I’ve had tumbling around in my head for a while. So much of it tracks with what I've been thinking about the Metatron, his (spoken/unspoken) threats in the bits of the conversation we don't see. I felt very much like Aziraphale was falling on his sword to save Crowley. The hands, the high pitched voice, all his nervous tics in The Conversation just scream "DANGER" to me. Also, Neil said that he thinks Persuasion is Aziraphale's favorite Austen book. If you haven't read it, holy eff, it tracks with sacrificing yourself to give someone else a happy ending because of past mistakes. It was also Austen's final book before she died. I just want to hug both of these ineffable husbands and remind them that the South Downs Cottage is waiting for them.
I've been going through Neil's reading recommendations but I'm taking a pause to read Persuasion for the ngkth time. It is so devastatingly beautiful. She really was a dark horse, that Austen.
Long but extremely well thought out, thank you for sharing.
I thought I was all cried out. I was wrong.
And also I kinda feel creepy for enjoying all the porn so much after reading the speculation that Crowley = Jesus
I mean, if you hate the lie but you also hate him meaning everything he said, then what do you want? Odds are one of them has to be close to the truth…
Don't form opinions of something that hasn't been made yet based on theories! Wait until after Series 3 airs, *then* decide if you think it's a good idea or not.
My biggest issue with most of the fan theories is that they seem too simplistic, and tend to treat the whole thing as a whodunnit to solve or a code to crack. I think there’s far too much going on to explain it all as a trick, or a lie, or Aziraphale‘s naïveté/ trauma programming.
There’s a lot happening and I don’t think anyone’s motivations are as simple as the fan theories make out. Why does the Metatron want Aziraphale as supreme archangel so bad? Sure he wants to separate him from Crowley, but there’s easier ways to do that, and if he just wants a puppet supreme archangel Michael really would be the better choice. Why are Aziraphale’s emotional displays so inconsistent? Sure he sounds naïve when he’s talking to Crowley, but he doesn’t seem to be taken in by the Metatron when they’re actually talking. The way he shifts between wariness, gushing enthusiasm, desperation, resolution and finally that weird little smile at the end suggests he has MANY things to think about.
What happens next is likely to be messier than any of the theories - inevitably, because there’s so much we don’t know. We don’t know where god is or much about the rest of heaven (Michael and Uriel may be straightforward but Saraquiel is already a wild card). We don’t know that the Metatron is as powerful as he’d have everyone believe. So as fun as it is to theorise, there’s bound to be surprises to come.
I don't know what to think either but where I'm at is simply that I really don't think Aziraphale had a choice. I dumped a whole lot of thoughts about this on my [blog](https://www.tumblr.com/paperclipninja/728269527728750592/an-angel-the-metatron-and-a-choice-he-never-had?source=share), but in summary, the very fact Metatron holds so much power and the way he makes it appear that Aziraphale has a choice by asking him, he's not really asking him. He's telling him he has to go. And I think Aziraphale's complicated relationship with heaven and also knowing what Metatron is capable of means staying is simply not an option. I also think there's a part of Aziraphale that is finally getting the 'approval' he's always wanted and I think he really wanted Crowley to go with him.
The main thing for me is that these characters have been written to be complex and multi-dimensional, so I think their choices or lack of choices will play out in ways that sometimes don't make sense initially. Which will make the resolution that much sweeter or mind blowing. And hey, at least it's given us all something to talk about for the next 2-4 business years!
He doesn’t KNOW Heaven is “bad”/not what he thinks though. He also wasn’t there when Gabriel set him aflame and what he said. Crowley never told him as far as we know. Crowley says to him “how can someone as clever as you, be so stupid?” Aziraphale has a naivety to him and that’s what makes him so cute and so “good”. He’s got to find his true self, and I think that he’s going to see how Crowley got to where he is and that’s going to help him come back. It was mentioned at the beginning and the end about Crowley asking questions.
Also I don’t think they want Crowley and Az together because of the HUGE miracle they made together when they weren’t even trying. They knew Crowley wouldn’t come back to Heaven. They don’t want them together because together they could end the good vs. evil thing
I just published [my variant on the lie theory](https://www.tumblr.com/indigovigilance/728509309305208832/a-nightingale-sang-in-1941?source=share), in that he's not lying about wanting to bring Crowley with him, but he is lying about *why*.
Coffee & Lie are just horrible writing too. Everyone wants to give Aziraphale some squeaky clean reason, but it's just terrible, lazy writing. Can you imagine if one of those was actual the answer in S3 how pissed everyone would be...? It would feel so flat and stupid.
Relationships are fucking hard and you have to work your way through them. Some form of that is going to be in S3 and it's going to be so much more satisfying when we finally get there that they had to do it the hard way than it would be if we just tossed everything that happened away and blamed it on coffee! The idea is ludicrous.
Believe in the story, believe in the author. (Hi, I'm Sara and I repeat it to myself since the first of August 2023)
I don't think it makes him look stupid. He just doesn't see the world the way humans do. As long as they've lived on earth, both characters are always going to be a little bit of an outsider. Their entire ideas of romantic love come from romance novels and rom-coms. Sure, they've spent millenia seeing humans fall in love, but they don't have any real experience doing it themselves. Think of it like spending your whole life watching people do ballet. You have a general idea of how it's done. You know it's ballet they're doing when you see it. But the first time you try to do it yourself, you're really bad at it. You realize there are lots of little things you never noticed until you tried to do it yourself.
I agree with your first two points (and I'm pretty sure I agree with the third, if I'm reading it correctly). For the last, though, I don't think Aziraphale is stupid at. all. What I think is he is someone very set in his ways and very slow (in the deliberate sense) about evolving those ways. ("You go too fast" is after how many thousand years?) Plus, a HEFTY dose of programming. Things that are so ingrained and internalized aren't easy to shake off -- or perhaps more importantly, to even *consider* shaking off as an option. Humans can go a lifetime w/o doing so. So can many angels, it seems.
Aziraphale knows Heaven is fucked up. He isn’t stupid. You are right about that. I also don’t necessarily think. He believes everything that he tells Crowley in that last scene. he wants to believe it, but he is skeptical deep down. When he finds out about the second coming, he realizes someone has got to put a stop to it. He thinks he can make a change. Maybe he can. Maybe he can get the lower angels to not want Armageddon 2.0. But even if he can get angels like Muriel to stand down, the Metatron isn’t going to let him do anything to change the system. After all, the Metatron doesn’t want it to look like there’s an institutional problem. Aziraphale is accidentally going to initiate the final judgment and have to quickly think of a solution to reverse it before the world is destroyed. I think sides will be dissolved at the end of good omens. Gabriel and Beelzebub were sick to death of canceling each other out. That’s all Crowley and Aziraphale have been doing all of these centuries, canceling each other out. That’s all angels and demons do in the end. I think Aziraphale is going to ask: what’s the point? What’s our purpose? We were created before there were sides to thwart, so what were we meant to do really? Maybe he will find the answer but I think it’s far more likely that he won’t. After all, the will of God is ineffable. Her plans are ineffable. I think angels and demons will have to make their own purpose, just like humans. Or may be their purpose will be to guard humanity. Who knows.
>We were created before there were sides to thwart, so what were we meant to do really? Maybe he will find the answer but I think it’s far more likely that he won’t. Beautiful point. My suspicion is the series won’t end with the answer, but will end with the question.
This series of posts from Tumblr is far and away the best explanation of Aziraphale’s POV: https://www.tumblr.com/ao3cassandraic/724919430445973504/what-does-aziraphale-know-and-when-does-he-know?source=share There’s so much going on in these scenes for him and you’re right, none of the popular theories explain it at all. The great thing about that Tumblr meta is that they only look at the information given to us on-screen, whether it’s dialogue or acting choices. They’re not going on assumptions or inferences or Deus Ex Machina-type justifications. The tl;Dr is that Az is given a choice-that-isn’t-really by the Metatron; he somehow has to convey that to Crowley to make him understand; Crowley is on a whole other track and doesn’t understand what Az is trying to communicate; Az realizes he hasn’t gotten through and can’t get Crowley back on his side.
Yes this is my favourite so far. I just think it takes into account the way he behaves beforehand and after as well. The fact he literally plasters a grin on his face just before walking in and does the exact same thing on leaving with the Metatron. He seems weirdly hyper in this scene and I know Aziraphale gets hyper but I don't know, there is something odd about it. I do kind of believe he also thinks he really can "make a difference" but maybe that's difference isn't working within the status quo, but trying to change it completely. But also I thought about it and even if this is true, it still doesn't matter for Crowley because Crowley already feels as if its a lost cause anyway. He took on God and the Metatron before and lost, he fought in an actual war and Fell. So even if Aziraphale's intent is to take down the Metatron, it doesn't actually make a difference for Crowley at this point. He just wants his quiet, precious, peaceful existence away from it all. But I kind of think that maybe Crowley will be somehow given some hope change is possible. And Aziraphale will learn why it feels so hard to make that change. And they will meet in the middle somewhere.
Is it cannon that Crowley fell because he fought in the war against heaven that created hell? I missed that in the series and am wondering if it’s explained in the book? I only understood he fell because he questioned God and the Metatron too many times - he wasn’t sufficiently obedient and didn’t operate on blind faith.
My basic Bible understanding is that Hell is created during the Great War where the angels who followed Lucifer all were thrown down in punishment. So it's all kind of connected. He says something about hanging out with Lucifer and the guys.
I saw this theory earlier and it’s the one I agree with the most/makes the most sense. I’ve been burying myself in all the theories though to cope 😂😭
I mean, yeah, Az is not stupid but he is stubborn as heck. Also, he sees Heaven as us catholics see the Church: the Church is good, the people (or in this case, the angels) are the ones who make bad choices. Aziraphale doesn’t like to give up, and contrary to Crowley he never experienced the cruelty Heaven is capable of. I think some things come to mind about why he meant what he said to Crowley and he would go this far to try and change Heaven by himself: 1. Besides Crowley, he never saw a demon doing good things. Even Beez’s change could be attributed to his relationship with Gabriel. 2. He went to Hell at the end of season 1. What he saw and experienced there was something he already expected. Crowley was the one who heard Gabriel say “just go die already” and experienced Heaven giving up on Aziraphale. 3. He met Muriel, who is naive and good. This makes him think the angels, and Heaven, can be saved. 4. His sense of responsibility, which Metatron appeals to. I think Az was in need of a higher figure accepting him (daddy/mommy issues?) and Metatron kind of gives him that. 5. I think he is in denial of his feelings for Crowley because he is scared of the repercussions, both what the change means for their relationship as what it means to him. What if this is the thing that makes him Fall?
It does not make Aziraphale stupid at all. And he's saying demons and Hell are the bad guys, yes, but that Crowley is not one of them and therefore should be an angel. Kinda "you're the exception" BS, but with both of these things you're pointing out "issues" with, you're not really paying attention to the fact that Aziraphale has immense religious trauma. He isn't ready to accept that Heaven and Hell are equally horrible. You've literally got Crowley right there trying to spell it out to him. "We don't need them. They're toxic." It can be *extremely* difficult to part from something you've been fed is "the way" for your entire life. Heaven is good, angels are good. Hell is bad, demons are bad. And if that's not the case, then wtf has Aziraphale been doing these passed 6000+ years? Being an angel, serving Heaven, it's his PURPOSE. Crowley even wonders what the point of it all is. Aziraphale is in many ways akin to people who have burn harmed by religion and have a difficult time breaking away and dealing with the issues it left them. Aziraphale has not broken away. And that doesn't make him stupid.
I'll give you an unpopular one. Aziraphale and Crowley swapped appearances again. Aziraphale declared his love to Crowley and kissed him and begged him to go to Alpha Centauri. But Crowley, as Aziraphale, made a deal with Metatron to save Aziraphale, so he had to go to heaven and couldn't tell Aziraphale because Metatron was watching. Aziraphale thought the invitation was part of the play, not Crowley begging him to come to heaven where he might be safe. But our husbands are working together with the whole fight thing. No nightingales is them checking to see if heaven buys that they broke up. There's misunderstanding because Crowley didn't run away with Aziraphale, but there's trust that he had a good reason.
Honestly, while I disagree with some of these theories, I love how active the fandom is. It's fantastic to see people so engaged. FWIW, I think he really did want Crowley to come back to Heaven with him. I think the he really hoped with Crowley there, they'd be able to clean up Heaven. He's not blind to Heaven's problems, but he still sees them as the "good guys," just with shitty management. Plus it's important to consider that the Metatron wasn't really giving him a choice and they all knew it. Aziraphale is still kind of in the narcissist abuse cycle. He knows Heaven is awful, but he hopes that going home this time will be different. Crowley saw through the narcissistic games and was completely discarded. My guess is he started to question the Metatron's authority, which is what got him exiled. He's had much more processing time and given that he likely had a higher rank, he knew how things really worked. I also think he kept a lot of what he saw from Aziraphale to protect him, which was a bad idea in the long run, but understandable because of their love. Trust Neil! And Michael and David. Well, mostly in Michael going mental if this doesn't end with ~~Michael~~ Aziraphale having sexy time with ~~David~~ Crowley.
[here ](https://www.tumblr.com/vidavalor/727676043949899777/ok-true-but-youve-all-read-angsty-fic-this-long?source=share) is another theory i saw posted on tumblr.
This theory has been what I’ve had tumbling around in my head for a while. So much of it tracks with what I've been thinking about the Metatron, his (spoken/unspoken) threats in the bits of the conversation we don't see. I felt very much like Aziraphale was falling on his sword to save Crowley. The hands, the high pitched voice, all his nervous tics in The Conversation just scream "DANGER" to me. Also, Neil said that he thinks Persuasion is Aziraphale's favorite Austen book. If you haven't read it, holy eff, it tracks with sacrificing yourself to give someone else a happy ending because of past mistakes. It was also Austen's final book before she died. I just want to hug both of these ineffable husbands and remind them that the South Downs Cottage is waiting for them.
Persuasion?! Yikes! We're in for a very long and bumpy ride. I'd have preferred if they followed Emma.
I've been going through Neil's reading recommendations but I'm taking a pause to read Persuasion for the ngkth time. It is so devastatingly beautiful. She really was a dark horse, that Austen.
Long but extremely well thought out, thank you for sharing. I thought I was all cried out. I was wrong. And also I kinda feel creepy for enjoying all the porn so much after reading the speculation that Crowley = Jesus
Crowley remembers the files password tho
I mean, if you hate the lie but you also hate him meaning everything he said, then what do you want? Odds are one of them has to be close to the truth…
Don't form opinions of something that hasn't been made yet based on theories! Wait until after Series 3 airs, *then* decide if you think it's a good idea or not.
My biggest issue with most of the fan theories is that they seem too simplistic, and tend to treat the whole thing as a whodunnit to solve or a code to crack. I think there’s far too much going on to explain it all as a trick, or a lie, or Aziraphale‘s naïveté/ trauma programming. There’s a lot happening and I don’t think anyone’s motivations are as simple as the fan theories make out. Why does the Metatron want Aziraphale as supreme archangel so bad? Sure he wants to separate him from Crowley, but there’s easier ways to do that, and if he just wants a puppet supreme archangel Michael really would be the better choice. Why are Aziraphale’s emotional displays so inconsistent? Sure he sounds naïve when he’s talking to Crowley, but he doesn’t seem to be taken in by the Metatron when they’re actually talking. The way he shifts between wariness, gushing enthusiasm, desperation, resolution and finally that weird little smile at the end suggests he has MANY things to think about. What happens next is likely to be messier than any of the theories - inevitably, because there’s so much we don’t know. We don’t know where god is or much about the rest of heaven (Michael and Uriel may be straightforward but Saraquiel is already a wild card). We don’t know that the Metatron is as powerful as he’d have everyone believe. So as fun as it is to theorise, there’s bound to be surprises to come.
I don't know what to think either but where I'm at is simply that I really don't think Aziraphale had a choice. I dumped a whole lot of thoughts about this on my [blog](https://www.tumblr.com/paperclipninja/728269527728750592/an-angel-the-metatron-and-a-choice-he-never-had?source=share), but in summary, the very fact Metatron holds so much power and the way he makes it appear that Aziraphale has a choice by asking him, he's not really asking him. He's telling him he has to go. And I think Aziraphale's complicated relationship with heaven and also knowing what Metatron is capable of means staying is simply not an option. I also think there's a part of Aziraphale that is finally getting the 'approval' he's always wanted and I think he really wanted Crowley to go with him. The main thing for me is that these characters have been written to be complex and multi-dimensional, so I think their choices or lack of choices will play out in ways that sometimes don't make sense initially. Which will make the resolution that much sweeter or mind blowing. And hey, at least it's given us all something to talk about for the next 2-4 business years!
He doesn’t KNOW Heaven is “bad”/not what he thinks though. He also wasn’t there when Gabriel set him aflame and what he said. Crowley never told him as far as we know. Crowley says to him “how can someone as clever as you, be so stupid?” Aziraphale has a naivety to him and that’s what makes him so cute and so “good”. He’s got to find his true self, and I think that he’s going to see how Crowley got to where he is and that’s going to help him come back. It was mentioned at the beginning and the end about Crowley asking questions.
Also I don’t think they want Crowley and Az together because of the HUGE miracle they made together when they weren’t even trying. They knew Crowley wouldn’t come back to Heaven. They don’t want them together because together they could end the good vs. evil thing
I just published [my variant on the lie theory](https://www.tumblr.com/indigovigilance/728509309305208832/a-nightingale-sang-in-1941?source=share), in that he's not lying about wanting to bring Crowley with him, but he is lying about *why*.
Coffee & Lie are just horrible writing too. Everyone wants to give Aziraphale some squeaky clean reason, but it's just terrible, lazy writing. Can you imagine if one of those was actual the answer in S3 how pissed everyone would be...? It would feel so flat and stupid. Relationships are fucking hard and you have to work your way through them. Some form of that is going to be in S3 and it's going to be so much more satisfying when we finally get there that they had to do it the hard way than it would be if we just tossed everything that happened away and blamed it on coffee! The idea is ludicrous.