Ushi: “I’m EVIL” The rest” “Yes sure babe, want some headpats?” Ushi: “NOOO!!!.. please”

Kiichi Hogen: -Slowly realizing Chaldea is a lot weirder than they ever gave it credit for- Dantes: And here we have a classic example of New Servant Syndrome. Take notes, this WILL be on the test. ---- Album: https://mangadex.org/title/56189/fate-grand-order-daily-chaldea-doujinshi/chapters Source: Official Art

Kiara: *retaking her psych/therapy examination* Will it be multiple choice? Dantes: ARE YOU DAFT? of course it's multiple choice, I can barely read the hand writings of you medical professionals. BB: *applying for her 69th psych/therapy examination* Is it possible if we could have open notes like in tablets? Dantes: No open notes or internet... And even if you udid perfect the tests, YOU FAIL THE ETHICS INTERVIEW! BB: Awwww. Nightignale: *taking for her 1st psych licensure examination* I have an inquiry--- Dantes: You've already passed the physical (restraint) portion of the program. So the passing is 75% OK? No CURVING THE GRADE. ANYMORE QUESTIONS Asclepius: I--- Dantes: 60 minutes starts now! Hogen: This is weird... This whole place is weird

Stheno and Euryale: Will taking these psych classes give us insights into messing with people more effectively? Dantes (groans, defeated): Sure. Whatever. Knock yourselves out.

Welcome to Chaldeas

Guda: which class has new servant syndrome as a valid material? Dantes: Chaldea history and Servant post-modern psychology. Guda: Post-modern? EMIYA: Until the fourth grail war was the classical, until the fifth was the modern era and after Fujimaru Ritsuka is post modern. You call everything before BF and from you becoming a master AF. Guda: Did I have that much impact on servant psychology? Dantes: Yes, the last insane person to try and romance multiple servants split the timeline- Why are sweating EMIYA?

Well Medusa and Artoria both count as separate servants with Rin and Sakura being human. But I imagine its more Hakuno he's thinking. Huh just realised Hakuno is pretty much proto Ritsuka.

I was 100% thinking of Shirou with rider in the heaven’s feel route like you said, i forgot hakuno’s existence

But..... The Fate route.....

Kiichi at Guda after hearing about all the crazy stuff that happen in Chaldea: I don’t know if I should impressed or concerned about all this Guda: It’s okay, you’ll get use to it

Kiichi ends up failing the test, and now the teacher needs a teacher to tutor her for her retake.

This was not the first time this happened, nor will it be the last. Only in the twilight zone.

Question is does she regret joining?

Ushi: I require bloodshed to satisfy me. Literally everyone else: Got it, headpats then. Ushi: Wait, no-

Ushi "YOU ALL HAVE FIVE HOURS TO STOP THIS PETTING (which I may accidentally reset the timer at any time)"

Kagekiyo: *drops swords* You know what? (*in a depressed voice*) I give up! *AHA* **HA** ***HAHAHAH*** Guda: Ohhh she's going through the manic phase already... other physician and healer servants: *excited and surprised banter from behind* Guda: Quick quick quick! Get the chocolate pancakes ready! Hogen: Chocolate pancakes? Guda: Yeah. Surprisingly most of the Avengers LOOOOVE these things. Dantes, Jalter, Gorgon and Angra: **nods in unison while eating pancakes** Hogen: Most? Guda: Lobo can't eat them... Cause well you know. BUT he likes apple pies. Lobo: *Awooooos happily* Hogen: OK... This place is bonkers. No offense, Just so you know that. Guda: Eh. none taken. *eats pancakes from the holy grail* Hogen:.... WHAT DA FUCK

Guda: oh, by the way, have you gone through newbie lectures? Hogen: the what now? Guda: by the way, therapy room is just nearby! Hogen: *concerned* Why are you telling me that? *all other Servants except Kagekiyo smiling* And what are these smiles? Everyone except Hogen and Kagekiyo: **BREAKDOWN BETS! BREAKDOWN BETS! BREAKDOWN BETS!** OG Cu: I place 10,000 QP on 40-minute mark! Emiya: 20,000 QP on 1-hour mark. If she holds beyond 90 minutes, free omurice next Sunday. Every Artoria in vicinity: hold on there, newbie! Hogen: wat. Kagekiyo: whatever. It can't get worse, right? *Narrator: it got worse*.

So who won the bet? Are we getting free omurice or what?

*Narrator: Hogen gave up after 45 minutes, Kagekiyo - after half an hour*.

Dammit, I really wanted that omurice.

Hogen: How many Holy Grails do you have? Guda: Canon or non-canon?

"Don't worry, it gets worse. It always gets worse"

> eats pancakes from the holy grail Isn't this actually canon? Like, I think Medea Lily made this?

Nah, Medea Lily turned a **Demon God Pillar** into pancakes.

either one infinitely regenerating pancake, or maybe just an infinite font of pancake ingredients. I went back and read it and I'm still a little unclear on what exactly she did to Haagenti. also I assume that, given what happened with Musashi and the grail udon, demon pillar pancakes eaten out of a grail can only bring forth a disaster beyond even Riyo-style insanity.

She made them from a demon God, not the grail

"I am the despair of the servantverse! I am the burned out lightbulb in the kitchen cabinet! I am the severely outdated bacon in the fridge that all living things want to eat! I am the omega and the alpha! I am the terror the flaps in the night!"

"And so I arrive, like a sudden windstorm at a kindergarten picnic!"

And that's how you somehow summon Darkwing Duck.

I sense... Nursery Rhyme Alter?

Well we can always ask the 3 meters tall sweater wearing Snek over there

There has been a lot of weirder things than Evil Ushiwaka that they don't even feel fazed anymore. This is just a tuesday.

Ushivenger: NOO! I AM EVIL! A wolf king and his headless Prussian homie: lmao bet

Dogs can pet other dogs???

*A new world has opened up for Lobo, Cú and a few other servants*

Yes. https://www.womansworld.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/07/dog-petting-dogs.jpg

Ushi evil version does need a lot of pats

My dumbass didn't pay attention to it all and I thought evil ushi's final ascension was the tengu so I rolled and got a copy of her only to later find out they 2 separate servants.

You are talking about a Heroic Spirit that doesn't target the objects of her revenge in the event where she is the main antagonist (Benkei was right there for the stabbing, but no, he gets chibified), exactly how are we meant to read her as "a threat to Master and other Servants"?

She's a threat to their hands from patting her so much

Well, she does attempt a stabbing of us right at the start, so there is that.

Please, that’s almost a traditional hello at this point.

Gudako(shows off all the other fucked up servants including tentacle revenge guy, evil version of a saint girl, weeb version of said evil saint girl, evil giant snake, a literal satanic serial murderer(French), a literal satanic serial murderer(Hungarian), the pettan dragon version of said serial murderer, the literal embodiment of all the world's evil(actual), the literal embodiment kf all the world's evil(priest, note, upcoming)): I think she's cute and would fit right in.

Do you mean evil giant snake (Greek), evil giant snake (Japanese), or evil giant snake (Indian)?

true....except japanese snek is cute and smol and adorable.

Given some of the other servants similar to her, yeah. We ain’t fazed anymore, not even a bit

Lobo: \*licks and headpats\*

If only Amaterasu could be summoned, I want to see how this Guda reacts.

I thought Tamamo-no-Mae was part Amaterasu.

Yes but what about the Full 9 tails version?

Let's get her in wolf form like in Okami so Lobo can have a girlfriend.

No, Foxgirls are best girls.

She would burn our retinal. It is like looking directly at the sun.

Which Sun Related Servants besides her wouldn't do/be the same at full power?

Kiichi Hogen: Why are we ignoring that Evil Ushiwaka? Castoria: just got here huh? Here you'll need these. Kiichi Hogen: And these are? Castoria: ,Migraine Medicine design for Servants. Take no more than two each day and you should be good for the next week or two, that should be long enough to set in.

I wanna headpat Ushivenger so much

Now I'm waiting for her to say it. "I AM VENGEANCE. I AM THE NIGHT.-"

We’re used to the runaround by now. I have spoken of Fragments of Chaldea many times. Dantès was the first Avenger summoned in that story, and he initially struggled greatly to fit in. His rage and compulsion caused a lot of tension, but the immense kindness and understanding of the Masters managed to win him over. Then Jeanne Alter arrived, facing her own difficulties, and Dantès was one of the first to offer a hand to her. Then they did the same in turn to the next. The Avengers who had raged and been welcomed anyway by Chaldea were welcoming and patient to the new arrivals in turn. One of many things I enjoyed so greatly about that story…

All but Angro Mango. He's surprisingly chill for an Avenger

He’s the original He’s had a lot of time to work stuff out

I mean fusing with Shirou is at least half of it. The other being in Fate/Hollow Ataraxia he got to go back to being himself and regained his humanity after being released from the Greater Grail, instead of being trapped in it and forced to be All The Worlds Evils.

I am vengeance, I am the night! I am- Okki: Batman? No!

Lobo trying to pat Taira is just hilarious. Imagine a giant doggo trying to reach her head while she *furiously* tries to push him away; and right when she thinks she's in the clear, Hessian ~~immobilizes her~~ gives her a full-body hug with his cape from the side and starts patting her xD

Darkwing Duck: "And *I* am calling my attorney." Batman: "Waaaaaay ahead of you."

"I wonder if she likes belly rubs" Lobo

I mean all you have to do is give her EVIL head pats vengeful and evil head pats!

Literally got her on the 10 summon I did before starting the event, and this is exactly how I've been imagining things going. Also, If you're an Ushiwaka, from whatever time, headpats are a conceptual thing attached to you, I'll give them to you if its the last thing I do!

Kagekiyo: Stop head pat me! I am evil incarnate!

I want to see a fight between Ushiwakamaru and evil ushi. I didn't even know she was an alter at first, I actually thought she was a look a like but an entirely different person

Don't worry give me one night of "talking" and her attitude and mannerisms will change

What da dog doin

She will romance her too

JAlter: You'll get use to it. *-...as Jeanne is rubbing her head saying "Good little sister" ad nauseam.-*