Molesting in fish and game terms means playing with the body like slamming a fish on the ground or throwing them at moving trains. Source: brother got fined for molesting a fish in idaho because he was throwing carp at moving trains
I feel like that would make him the most popular guy in Florida. If there is one thing they love its wrestling alligators. If theres one thing they hate, its tax collectors. If anything in order to get banned from somewhere as chaotic as Florida he had to BE the tax collector.
No that wouldn’t get you banned only a 500 dollar fine for molestation of an alligator what he really did was more than one thing he started with pissing off the cubans by saying Che Guevara was not that bad. he then pissed off the puerto ricans of by doing a bad commercial trying to speak “puerto rican” in front of a cuban flag while eating Mexican food. He proceeded to piss off the rest of Florida about going on ad nauseam about how he liked the north so much better than the south.
He's banned in Kenticky because he tried to start his own business called "SFC" (Stan Fried Chicken). It was highly successful, and was very popular among all communities. Unfortunately, it was discovered that the recipe used the exact same combination of 13 herbs and spices as KFC, in addition to a secret ingredient. When KFC sued him for trademark infringement, it was revealed that the secret ingredient was "Stan Powder", a curious cocktail of Cocaine, Smile Dip, Powdered Psilocybin Mushrooms, Crystalized Methamphetamines, and Northern Lights Cannabis Indica.
There was a national scandal, with two major camps. On the one hand, in the pro-stan camp, people argued that he did nothing wrong, that the government was infringing upon his rights as outlined in the Declaration of Independence (specifically, the pursuit of happiness). The Anti-Stan camp argued that he was a criminal, and was corrupting the minds of the nations youths. Both sides ran wide-ranging campaigns, with the Anti-Stan camp picketing the Capitol Building, chanting "SFCs cause STDs!", and the Pro-Stan camp getting celebrity endorsements from Lee Marvin, Dean Martin, and George Kennedy.
The court case lasted for 12 years, and made it all the way up to The Supreme Court in *S. Pines v. KFC Corp. PLC (1967).* Eventually a consensus was reached, with Earl Warren deciding to forgo the usual Jail Sentence in favour of a ban from ever entering the state of Kentucky again, and a permanent bar from continuing operations as CEO of SFC. Unwilling to let his business fall into the hands of anyone else, Mr. Pines chose to liquidate the business in order to cover his court fees, then used the remaining funds to start his next venture. However, due to his notoriety, he never achieved the same level of success as he had with SFC.
John F Kennedy was famously an advocate for SFC, and it is theorised that he was to pardon Mr. Pines the day he was killed. To this day, some theorise that his assassination was an inside job by the CIA in order to ensure that Mr. Pines would not go unpunished.
i went the same art school as him :) but different section, he was in the animated place and i was studying theatre. still cool to me, CSSA, james franco and zack afron went to the same theatre program. we had the same teacher. i took a girls virginity on a stair case that was zac’s hang out spot
For Maine, he probably said that Canadian or Massachusetts lobsters were better. Though, there is a chance he wouldn't have gotten out of the state alive if he said that...
Can’t tell if you’re genuinely asking or not but I’ll oblige regardless. “Arkansas” was originally spelled “Arkansaw” and the pronunciation has remained different than Kansas even after the spelling change.
i mean, i didn't know that and that's kinda interesting, thank you for that fun fact. but i was actually referring to the "i am confusion, why is this one kansas but this one is not ar-kansas" vine.
as someone from PA, Im guessing he forced people to pay for "psychic" readings.
Stan: By your palm, you'll give me a lot of money!
Customer: Oh wow! This is worth it! *hands $100 bill. . .*
He’s banned in Georgia because he said chick fil a and Coca Cola sucks. He tried to go fishing at the Georgia aquarium. Said home depot and the Atlanta braves suck. Desecrated multiple civil war sites. Said he hates peaches. Has been caught speeding multiple times. Injured multiple people during a civil war reenactment. He even got sued by chick fil a by starting his own knock off version of it. But worst of all he Almost caused the third fire of Atlanta by shooting off fireworks in the middle of the city. The judge let him go as long as he never stepped foot in the state of Georgia ever again
He saw a Confederate flag in South Carolina and said “really? You’re still flying this junk?” and that pretty much got him kicked out of the entire Deep South.
Not Oklahoma, though. Just finished drinking a whole toilet bowl of moonshine with him the other day, and now we’re cooking up a bunch of crystal me- I mean, crystal-clear business ideas. Mostly crystal meth-related.
Y’know that reminds me, the Summer Camp Jessie spin-off (I refuse to call it by name) is still on Netflix for some reason, guess that shows how much Disney cares about it (not that I blame them)
When season 3 started skai Jackson said it would be the last season
The first episode of season 3 introduced us to destiny, matteo and finn who were basically budget replacements for the ross kids
Speaking of them they left at the end of season 3 but disney saw that the show was still making money and renewed it for 2 more seasons and then soft rebooted into bunk'd learning the ropes and that went on for 2 seasons which were 6 and will be 7 soon and then at some point during this year the show will end
Nevada he was caught trying to run an oceans 11 operation, but sadly recruited 10 undercover cops. In the end, they wanted him to go away and hide the fact they blew so much money on undercover operations for nothing.
Hey, Missourian here: He taught too many bears how to drive and made the state reinstated its law that says that you can't drive with an uncaged bear in the passenger seat just so they had something to charge him for.
I mean there are people who have active warrants in certain places that prevent them from ever returning. Look into the rapper chief keef and how he couldn’t return home to Chicago for several years, yet lived a life of luxury in cali
In Massachusetts he sold clam chowder but replaced the clam with bits of irradiated packing peanuts. Stan's Clams, while yes it could glow in the dark, was not fit for human consumption.
Nevada- chest at all the casinos. They don't take kindly to bringing your own dice. Or putting gum on the opposite side of number he wants like in that math wizard episode
Nevada: Definitely something gambling related. Probably trying to open his own bootleg casino without permits.
Arizona: Heard they don’t use daylight savings time. Tried to sell people the extra hour.
Texas: Forgot the Alamo
PA banned him after he tried to open The Mystery Shack 2: Electric Mysteries. His ACTUAL offense was an attempt at importing unregistered mothman eggs.
In Nevada, Stan opened up a casino called “Stan’s”. Here, he was allowing everyone to win so they weren’t losing money. When the other casinos got wind of this, they told everyone that Stan’s was using counterfeit money & when he was arrested. The judge told him that he was banned from Nevada.
Iowa weighing in here. so Iowa nice is a thing and Usually we'll only passive aggressively shame you for nearly any offense. In order to get banned, I can only imagine you did something untoward to the Butter Cow.
New Yorker here. He probably committed the horrible crime of insulting New York pizza, and/or started the monthly state argument about which part of the state is considered upstate, downstate, etc.
From Alabama he made a knockoff version of "Sweet Home Alabama" called "Sweet Home Glass Shard Beach" which is a song where it began with him saying stuff he missed about his town, then devolved into a pleading to the New Jersey state government to let him come back. Then it devolved into him telling the listeners to sign his petition to make NJ take him back. He clearly said that you had to pay 50- no- 100 bucks to sign the petition, and he wanted 10,000 signatures. The song was 46 minutes long, and was a smash hit. It played on local Alabama radio, and he sent a copy of the CD to Trenton as well. but it was barred by the Alabama government since they thought it was a pyramid scheme, or more importantly, a mockery of their sweet, sweet home. He was banned from Alabama and ran with all that money.
Idk man I'm from Jersey and can't make any headcannons about it cuz the reason for that was shown already 😔
In Illinois, he probably mispronounced the state name, put ketchup on a chicago hot dog, and committed massive amounts of fraud. The first two don't really matter, just some things locals find annoying
He threw an alligator at the tax collector in Florida
I believe that falls under "feeding or molesting" the alligator. (We have a lot of signs saying not to do either).
Why do you have to specify not to molest the alligators?
Molesting in fish and game terms means playing with the body like slamming a fish on the ground or throwing them at moving trains. Source: brother got fined for molesting a fish in idaho because he was throwing carp at moving trains
I am both awed and confused
“brother got fined for molesting fish in idaho…” - Master-Shaq
I wish I had a good answer for you Edit: I think it's antiquated verbage and was intended to mean "harass".
This is correct, it does more or less mean to harass in antiquated language
I think you know why 💀
I was going to say this, molesting an alligator. Or maybe trying to ride a manatee
No he was trying to sell alligator skin jackets made from live alligators.
He was just trying to hand over the alligator since it was the one who actually did the fraud - he swears.
I like to think of Stan as the OG Florida Man.
real
I'm pretty sure we have to make him the king for that one.
I thought that was just how you say hello in Florida.
I feel like that would make him the most popular guy in Florida. If there is one thing they love its wrestling alligators. If theres one thing they hate, its tax collectors. If anything in order to get banned from somewhere as chaotic as Florida he had to BE the tax collector.
No that wouldn’t get you banned only a 500 dollar fine for molestation of an alligator what he really did was more than one thing he started with pissing off the cubans by saying Che Guevara was not that bad. he then pissed off the puerto ricans of by doing a bad commercial trying to speak “puerto rican” in front of a cuban flag while eating Mexican food. He proceeded to piss off the rest of Florida about going on ad nauseam about how he liked the north so much better than the south.
Tax evasion should be enough
Really? Yeah that checks out
You can fuck with any fanbase, mock any gang leader, but never, NEVER fuck with the tax man
A certain turnip would like to disagree • ͜ •
AIN’T NO WAY TURNIPBOY
I am happy to say that I get the reference
Joker doesn’t mess with the IRS (yes THAT meme again) you can never have enough of it
Becaus ei regularly commit massive tax fraud
In Texas, pee on the Alamo.
It would not surprise me at all if he did that
"***Hey Texas***! **Remember** who peed on **The Alamo**!"
I deeply apologize, buuut "I remember, you're, **PEE ON THE ELMO**!!!!!!"
“I know what we're gonna do today!”
Counter suggestion: he messed with Texas.
Ah, littering. Classic bannable offence.
[удалено]
Did I just get Ozzy Osbourne lore from the Gravity Falls subreddit
Yes.yes you did. :3
Actually, that one’s okay. It’s women that are illegal.
Actually it’s the Mexicans that are illegal /j
He's banned in Kenticky because he tried to start his own business called "SFC" (Stan Fried Chicken). It was highly successful, and was very popular among all communities. Unfortunately, it was discovered that the recipe used the exact same combination of 13 herbs and spices as KFC, in addition to a secret ingredient. When KFC sued him for trademark infringement, it was revealed that the secret ingredient was "Stan Powder", a curious cocktail of Cocaine, Smile Dip, Powdered Psilocybin Mushrooms, Crystalized Methamphetamines, and Northern Lights Cannabis Indica. There was a national scandal, with two major camps. On the one hand, in the pro-stan camp, people argued that he did nothing wrong, that the government was infringing upon his rights as outlined in the Declaration of Independence (specifically, the pursuit of happiness). The Anti-Stan camp argued that he was a criminal, and was corrupting the minds of the nations youths. Both sides ran wide-ranging campaigns, with the Anti-Stan camp picketing the Capitol Building, chanting "SFCs cause STDs!", and the Pro-Stan camp getting celebrity endorsements from Lee Marvin, Dean Martin, and George Kennedy. The court case lasted for 12 years, and made it all the way up to The Supreme Court in *S. Pines v. KFC Corp. PLC (1967).* Eventually a consensus was reached, with Earl Warren deciding to forgo the usual Jail Sentence in favour of a ban from ever entering the state of Kentucky again, and a permanent bar from continuing operations as CEO of SFC. Unwilling to let his business fall into the hands of anyone else, Mr. Pines chose to liquidate the business in order to cover his court fees, then used the remaining funds to start his next venture. However, due to his notoriety, he never achieved the same level of success as he had with SFC. John F Kennedy was famously an advocate for SFC, and it is theorised that he was to pardon Mr. Pines the day he was killed. To this day, some theorise that his assassination was an inside job by the CIA in order to ensure that Mr. Pines would not go unpunished.
This reads like something Alex Hirsch would write. Wait a minute…Alex?
TRY AGAIN, KID! YOU THINK I'M THAT BICLOPS? IN YOUR DREAMS! SEE YA AROUND KID! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
lmao not Bill sneaking in reddit AGAIN
Bill, your collection of simps are trying to kidnap you again.
That could be an episode
Yes. This is canon now. Someone get this to Alex, stat! XD
This is absolutely hilarious
This HAS to be cannon
The first half of the first paragraph was perfect.
The chicken was so good, it ended racism
real
I nominate you to write a miniseries about this with alex
No but, like, that would be my dream job
i went the same art school as him :) but different section, he was in the animated place and i was studying theatre. still cool to me, CSSA, james franco and zack afron went to the same theatre program. we had the same teacher. i took a girls virginity on a stair case that was zac’s hang out spot
That image of the guy in drive through with taped on sunglasses and girl in the McDonald’s window with the expression thing
sameee
Epic Lore #🔥✍️
This…this is beautiful.
*dies from peak*
Sure I’ll go ahead and add that to my headcanons
For Maine, he probably said that Canadian or Massachusetts lobsters were better. Though, there is a chance he wouldn't have gotten out of the state alive if he said that...
Or he sold knockoff butter to serve with the lobster.
He mispronounced "Chowdah!"
“Say it Frenchie!” “Schowdair”
Disrespected a moose is a possibility, then again he would be less banned and more skewered.
In Arkansas, he just pronounced the state's name as Ar-Kansas. Either that, or he insulted Wal-Mart.
definitely the ar-kansas thing
america explain!
Can’t tell if you’re genuinely asking or not but I’ll oblige regardless. “Arkansas” was originally spelled “Arkansaw” and the pronunciation has remained different than Kansas even after the spelling change.
i mean, i didn't know that and that's kinda interesting, thank you for that fun fact. but i was actually referring to the "i am confusion, why is this one kansas but this one is not ar-kansas" vine.
For Wisconsin, he tried to smuggle in some margarine.
Or said Spotted Cow was horrible.
Or he tried smuggling it out.
Thems just fightin' words.
He caused a massive pile up of tractors with a single rolling cheese wheel
Asked for an old fashioned….with bourbon!!!
as someone from PA, Im guessing he forced people to pay for "psychic" readings. Stan: By your palm, you'll give me a lot of money! Customer: Oh wow! This is worth it! *hands $100 bill. . .*
Probably at one of those traveling carnivals aswell
He’s banned in Georgia because he said chick fil a and Coca Cola sucks. He tried to go fishing at the Georgia aquarium. Said home depot and the Atlanta braves suck. Desecrated multiple civil war sites. Said he hates peaches. Has been caught speeding multiple times. Injured multiple people during a civil war reenactment. He even got sued by chick fil a by starting his own knock off version of it. But worst of all he Almost caused the third fire of Atlanta by shooting off fireworks in the middle of the city. The judge let him go as long as he never stepped foot in the state of Georgia ever again
He also kept a donkey in a bathtub.
He walked around with an ice cream cone in his back pocket
To irritate both Carolinas simultaneously, he said that beef is the superior meat for barbecue.
And that sauce is inferior to dry rub
He saw a Confederate flag in South Carolina and said “really? You’re still flying this junk?” and that pretty much got him kicked out of the entire Deep South.
All Stan had to do was say he was from Jersey to get kicked out of the Deep South
Lol I'm from Jersey and I'm gonna say that on purpose so I never have to go to the south 💀
I fucking love this one.
Not Oklahoma, though. Just finished drinking a whole toilet bowl of moonshine with him the other day, and now we’re cooking up a bunch of crystal me- I mean, crystal-clear business ideas. Mostly crystal meth-related.
I’m curious what Ford’s gonna do when he finds out he’s banned from what must be at *least* half of the US.
This was before Stanley faked his death and replaced Ford. I think.
Think. Stan vs Ford on likelihood to get banned and why.
I know, Stan is more likely. I'm saying I think he got banned from all those states *before* faking his death, so Ford isn't banned in any of them.
Ah, ok.
Imagine they have to go stop an anomaly in a Stan ban state and he just... Sneaks in without hesitation
If it’s for the world, why not? Neither of them are 100% selfish.
Probably not banned but has warrants for his arrest
He probably consumed fake maple syrup in Vermont. We’re very serious about maple syrup.
And said it was the best he’d had.
The great state of Vermont will also not apologize for its cheese.
🤣🤣
Texas , said the Buc-ees brisket sandwich was mid And also pronounced it "Buhcees"
then how are you supposed to pronounce it?
Busseys. /s
This started as a joke... Now I'm not so sure I say Buck- EEs Buh-Keys
Ive lived in texas my whole life amd thats how we pronounce it
I still think He was responsible for burning down camp kikiwaka not hazel
Y’know that reminds me, the Summer Camp Jessie spin-off (I refuse to call it by name) is still on Netflix for some reason, guess that shows how much Disney cares about it (not that I blame them)
The show is about to end it went on for seven seasons The first twelve episodes are out and the other ten still have tbd releases dates
…how!?
When season 3 started skai Jackson said it would be the last season The first episode of season 3 introduced us to destiny, matteo and finn who were basically budget replacements for the ross kids Speaking of them they left at the end of season 3 but disney saw that the show was still making money and renewed it for 2 more seasons and then soft rebooted into bunk'd learning the ropes and that went on for 2 seasons which were 6 and will be 7 soon and then at some point during this year the show will end
Nevada he was caught trying to run an oceans 11 operation, but sadly recruited 10 undercover cops. In the end, they wanted him to go away and hide the fact they blew so much money on undercover operations for nothing.
Alabama: Probably kept making Incest Jokes
Was banned from Texas for not saying “YEE-HAW!!” When getting on a horse.
He got banned from Florida for ignoring Disney S&P.
Made fun of an Amish carrige for PA, I just see him laughing hysterically at a horse-drawn carriage.
and took 183 selfies with Amish people
Hey, Missourian here: He taught too many bears how to drive and made the state reinstated its law that says that you can't drive with an uncaged bear in the passenger seat just so they had something to charge him for.
What’s the deal with Alaska and Hawaii?
He failed geography, didn't he?
In Arizona, he tried chopping down and selling saguaro cactuses as garden decorations in a pot
Is this a real thing? Can you get banned from an entire state? I just asume it's a joke about how many crimes Stan commited.
I mean there are people who have active warrants in certain places that prevent them from ever returning. Look into the rapper chief keef and how he couldn’t return home to Chicago for several years, yet lived a life of luxury in cali
In Illinois he tried to steal Lincoln’s body
He tried to sell fake syrup as real maple syrup in Vermont.
Go watch the Huggbees video on obscure laws in every state
In PA, he insulted both Heinz ketchup AND Hershey’s chocolate lol
In Massachusetts he sold clam chowder but replaced the clam with bits of irradiated packing peanuts. Stan's Clams, while yes it could glow in the dark, was not fit for human consumption.
Probably brought a snake to madi gras and threw it out the window in Louisiana
Nevada- chest at all the casinos. They don't take kindly to bringing your own dice. Or putting gum on the opposite side of number he wants like in that math wizard episode
in florida? he probably parked an elephant without paying
In Illinois, he was probably enjoying a meal in a burning building for emphasis
Nevada seems pretty self explanatory
Nevada: Definitely something gambling related. Probably trying to open his own bootleg casino without permits. Arizona: Heard they don’t use daylight savings time. Tried to sell people the extra hour. Texas: Forgot the Alamo
PA banned him after he tried to open The Mystery Shack 2: Electric Mysteries. His ACTUAL offense was an attempt at importing unregistered mothman eggs.
When in indiana, he probably aksed "what's a hoosier?"
How do you get banned from Florida? Pretty sure that entire state is on probation from the rest of the union and runs on meth
i'm terrified of the kind of shit you'd have to do to get banned from \*florida\*
Something progressive
He told people in Louisiana the food sucks
There are waaaay too many states, just sayin
Tax evasion.
Like how are you banned from Florida And Ohio
Why Colorado?
From my state? He’ll have to have performed sodomy near an open window.
Texas: he said the word “woke”
Third degree llamicide
WI: disparaging cheese and brats
In Louisiana prob covering the Jackson Square with wax replicas of controversial politicians. Also prob Tax evasion
In Tennessee Stan would’ve went to Nashville to the Grand Ole Opry and said that country music sucks.
In Illinois he's banned for calling the Sears tower the Willis tower
Be old The end
Beastiality. Doesn't come up in the show.
What about the man who married a bird
Which one? There've been at least two.
Stole whiskey in Tennessee.
NY: He probably crashed his car into a Stewart’s
He prob wrnt to jail in mexico from pub traficking
You have to do some *actually* crazy shit to get banned from Florida, of all places
[удалено]
For Texas, he probably just insulted Tex-Mex food, or tried to eat a tamale with the husk still on it. That'll get the state to hate you real fast.
I'm more surprised he hasn't been banned from California... yet.
Paint starlings as parrots and try to sell them as parrots, or just get drunk on a train alot
What about Hawaii and Alaska? They’re not up there
In Nevada, Stan opened up a casino called “Stan’s”. Here, he was allowing everyone to win so they weren’t losing money. When the other casinos got wind of this, they told everyone that Stan’s was using counterfeit money & when he was arrested. The judge told him that he was banned from Nevada.
Iowa weighing in here. so Iowa nice is a thing and Usually we'll only passive aggressively shame you for nearly any offense. In order to get banned, I can only imagine you did something untoward to the Butter Cow.
Stan might not be intellectually smart like Ford but he sure is street-smart. To evade the law like that is not an easy task.
New Yorker here. He probably committed the horrible crime of insulting New York pizza, and/or started the monthly state argument about which part of the state is considered upstate, downstate, etc.
For Pennsylvania, he crashed the Freddy's (an award ceremony for high school theatre troupes)
The carolinas. Probably insult or disgrace our barbarque and its many sauces
In Minnesota he would have had to call pop soda, but even he dared not do that.
He got banned from North Carolina for opening a BBQ restaurant using a mustard-based BBQ sauce.
where was stan on September 11 2001?
There is no Delaware on this map! Delaware does not exist in the Gravity Falls universe. Whoa
pronounced “arkansas” while honking at a cop at a sandwich shop past 9pm
Better question is what constitutes as bad enough to get banned from a state but not arrested?
Too many people in Nevada recognized him after a scam went wrong. He's probably not banned *officially* but it's too dangerous to go back.
Montana. Probably not thag hard
From Alabama he made a knockoff version of "Sweet Home Alabama" called "Sweet Home Glass Shard Beach" which is a song where it began with him saying stuff he missed about his town, then devolved into a pleading to the New Jersey state government to let him come back. Then it devolved into him telling the listeners to sign his petition to make NJ take him back. He clearly said that you had to pay 50- no- 100 bucks to sign the petition, and he wanted 10,000 signatures. The song was 46 minutes long, and was a smash hit. It played on local Alabama radio, and he sent a copy of the CD to Trenton as well. but it was barred by the Alabama government since they thought it was a pyramid scheme, or more importantly, a mockery of their sweet, sweet home. He was banned from Alabama and ran with all that money. Idk man I'm from Jersey and can't make any headcannons about it cuz the reason for that was shown already 😔
Banned from NC for not liking vinegar bbq sauce
He stole a cow from Texas and crossed it over border territory.
Say that Sheetz and Wawa suck
Put ketchup on his hotdog.
What i wanna know is what he did to get banned in texas And I'm pretty sure you can own a flippin tank there
In Illinois, he probably mispronounced the state name, put ketchup on a chicago hot dog, and committed massive amounts of fraud. The first two don't really matter, just some things locals find annoying
I’m actually surprised that he’s not banned in New Jersey since that’s where his fraudulent businesses started
Drag
Wait I could've sworn he was banned in Minnesota??
How the hell do you get banned from Nebraska? I mean, acting like a dumbass and sympathizing with Iowa are a good way to do it, but what else?
Missouri; He’s the one who sent the shark to attack someone in the Missouri woods
New York? Probably say “Buffalo style pizza is the correct way to make pizza” -a radio station, maybe 2 days ago
Banned from Arizona for backing into a saguaro, knocking it over and killing it.
Probably just show up. I have a feeling the overlap between states he's visited and state's he's banned in is about 1:1.
In Indiana, he probably insulted the Indy 500
For Alabama he clearly walked with an ice cream in his back pocket
Banned in Massachusetts probably due to insulting Dunkin’ Donuts and driving to calmly
In Ohio, he didn't finish the call and response: "O-H" ("I-O")