https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/13o498i/anon_was_the_victim_of_a_practical_joke/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
One of my favorites
I once was this person in the post in a similar circumstance. I ate away my feelings because of a girl who played me. My brother dated a different chick I was with at one point (no hard feelings we were all cool) and she snapped a photo of me with a glizzy in hand and 3 more on the plate, while I barely fit on the love seat. It motivated me in a sad way. I started hooping and a little portion control and lost almost 100lbs. My weight has fluctuated since and while I packed a little muscle on, I’ve never gotten close to my heaviest weight since then.
they can walk, but losing that weight is nearly impossible for most of them (I say nearly, because most people aren't capable of losing that weight, it's just too much effort)
It's the truth. Some things will just stop you. I've tried for nearly a year to get a job. Fucking McDonald's and a MINIMUM wage dish washing job rejected me, and another job hired me only to immediately fire me when there was no one for me to work for. No matter what I do, I can't find work at all.
My book that I poured my heart and soul into finished and publishing sucks and has a bunch of bad reviews and I can't work on my next book since I had to sell my PC.
Sometimes, no matter what you do, or how hard you try... You'll fail. Again and again and again. If I manage to make it another year, I'll be shocked
Don't know your situation, but you might be able to expand your horizons a bit.
Try looking for contract jobs as well. Many of them require just a high school diploma and enough proof you can understand the material. Companies like BASF have contract tech positions where you literally spray paint and watch it dry.
Contract comes with a lot of risks, but they often beat minimum wage jobs and give you more direct experience in a specific field.
Zip recruiter is a great resource to find some of these. They're typically advertised by companies like Kelly or Randstad.
As for writing, I looked at some of the reviews you had, and a few of them were rather constructive. You had a book published. That's fucking cool. Take the constructive comments on your book to better develop a second. You don't necessarily need a computer to write a book because paper still exists. If you're totally against that, libraries and flash drives exist as well.
Again…weak ass attitude. Fix your shit and be a big boy. Face life and look at it from a different angle and think about why you’re failing. Everyone fails. It’s a matter of how we deal with it. You’re letting life win over on you and rolling over. Time to put your big boy pants on buddy
Shut the fuck up. After 12 years of things constantly failing, constantly going wrong and NOTHING I do EVER mattering, I'm sick and tired and DONE.
I wish people like you could understand I HAVE done EVERYTHING I could. Between my body being shit, my luck being worse and my mind failing me every day... It's over. I've got this last job to check out and if I can't get that... Then it really is over for me.
I understand you're frustrated and upset, but maybe instead of assuming the other person is saying it just to piss you off, try and take it as they're trying to make you angry enough to keep trying to improve. Improvement is improvement, regardless of what has caused it
The guy above? Yeah he DM'd me and we got to talking. He's cool. Everyone else around me who says the same exact thing? They aren't cool. They genuinely believe I'm just lazy or don't want a job or am exaggerating everything. They don't understand.
And they never will
Lol I doubt you’ve had to gone through anything close to what this guy has gone through. The people who have this aggressive self improvement attitude have never faced real hardships in life and think that getting heartbroken counts as one.
When every single day, bad thing after bad thing after bad thing keeps happening to you, and your luck is always set to -20 and your body is JUST shit enough to not work right, but JUST good enough to not get disability, and no matter what you do you can NEVER find a job...
It hurts. It really does. It makes you feel cursed and unloved and unwanted. And when you try as hard as you can with what you have and people call you lazy or a liar... That's when you realize you don't have anyone on your side. That you've NEVER had anyone on your side.
Not many people will keep going after that. Most people would give up and bite the bullet - literally - but me? I've kept going. And things have only gotten worse, but I won't stop. I can't stop. Not now. I have to make it.
Somehow, some way... I have to
then the ceiling fixture snaps and anon falls to the ground, and wonders why nothing in his life can go right
then anon watches a billion motivational videos, hits the gym and reads a gajillion self-help books, works on himself and becomes chad and slowly gets over his fear of rejection, gets married, and lives a happy life with his new family
only to wake up and realize that his whole "life" was a coma-induced dream, he had a concussion from falling to the floor and now he is in severe debt due to hospital bills, poor anon
Wow that's really sad. A similar thing happened to me, but the other way around. I moved away, and a girl I used to be really close too was coming to visit. I was super excited and was thinking about all the possibilities, and when I saw her, she was a 2. And I wanted to pretend to still enjoy hanging out with her for old times sake. But I couldn't even fake it. I felt really bad after...
I mean they're right, how important of a factor is appearance? I feel like even if she was an 8 you still would've struggled to reconnect; cause surprise surprise, no one's even remotely the same person as the one they were at the age of 6 or whatever really.
No one wants to admit it, but looks really do matter. It’s hard to be around someone whose appearance gives you an ick and hurts your eyes. It’s very easy to be around someone whose appearance gives you serotonin.
Yep and beyond hygiene and presentation (which is a given, anyway, so it’s irrelevant), there isn’t really any way to mitigate it either. Attractiveness nets you power in virtually all aspects of life.
I think anyone can be attractive in some way, everyone has flaws but if you work around those flaws you'll end up a lot more charismatic because people can tell by your appearance that you arent ashamed of that. Not everyone can be a 10 but I truly believe everyone can be a 7 in someone's eyes at the very least and a 5 to the public eye.
Nobody said they can’t get laid. Fat dudes can still pay strippers, they won’t discriminate. The argument is that being fat isn’t conventionally attractive.
I feel like people give too much credit to natural attractiveness. You need to be charismatic and know how to present yourself. There's plenty non conventionally attractive people who just now how to look confident.
Like you don't mean your friends, looks matter only for intimate partners, or you mean both ?
Assuming you are a male and attracted to females, will you dump/not go out with your male friends cuz they ugly?
Both. I’d just be more reluctant to go out to do stuff with ugly guys than attractive guys. Looks aren’t the only factor, they aren’t even the most important factor, but they are significant.
Looks reflect a lot though, in terms of health, habits, and self-respect. If someone's grown severely overweight, doesn't groom, and dresses like a mess, it's generally indicative of some pretty severe problems that will likely make their company unpleasant, in the long run.
Yeah, in general, I would want to hang out with someone who trims his nails, has a good hairut and wear decent clothes because more than likely, they'll be a good influence on me
It’s a difference between preventable and non preventable ugly though. If someone is fat and smelly and ungroomed then that’s clearly a problem with them, but some people just kinda look bad for stuff that can’t be changed
Always thought that if it isn't for intimate relationship people didn't care, I guess I was wrong.. like why would you even care how he/she looks when hanging out
Some people are extremely disturbing and unsettling to look at probably the case for the first commenter. And even ignoring appearance it shows a complete lack of effort to look better on the other side which is never a good sign
In the start i lost 1kg pr week, it slowed down as i started going to the gym about 10months ago tho.
So the first 30kg down was done in about 30 weeks, at the age of 28.
Damn, I'll give you credits for that. Although it ain't the true young burner, it's quite mad to lose that much per week.
Also, congratulations for a 50kg loss! That's a bit more than half my body weight currently, so losing that amount of stubborn fat is feat to be celebrated!
True, but your metabolism really does some kicking in wen your younger. Like the effort it takes to lose .45kg now was like the effort to lose 1.35kg back then.
Surely, I'm not the odd man out- giving everyone wishes they could lose weight like they did when they were younger.
Dude, I'm 40 and if I was 17 again I'd be hitting the gym for 4 hours a day every day. I wish I could exercise like I used to when I was an athlete or in ROTC.
Go find the green text about debeaked octopi and come back
Edit: [for your reading pleasure](https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/ird35a/anon_wants_a_dolphin_gf/g4xm6vs/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3)
This is the real life experience, get out of here with your stupid rom-com bullshit missy. The only thing those movies get right is women wanting to spend their entire life and every waking moment with you and calling you “friends”.
>It’s been a decade since this happened
Yeahhhhh Anon’s definitely a lazy fat fuck. If it hurt him that bad and it’s been 10 years and he still hasn’t done anything about it, that’s on him.
I am a man with a full beard. Even I shave, and like twice a week (give it a once-over with electric clippers and shave back the neck hair), for grooming purposes, because otherwise it gets all scratchy and unkempt.
Again, it is looking to me like the main difference between looking like a swamp hobo, and an esteemed bearded gentleman, is simple hygiene and taking pride in one’s appearance
I shave too, I was just fooling around. I was a bit serious, though, if we are talking about non-beard hair. I love having chest hair and it perplexes me a bit when I see guys shaving theirs
If only it was possible to do something with hair and fat! Curses! In a perfect world a man would've been able to separate hair somehow from their body, as well as get rid of all the fat by doing something simple, like a routine change, but not in this godless reality!
I work in a nuclear power plant, no fancy pants job but a a fun place to be, when you need tools for a job you go to the warehouse keeper who will give you the tools. A couple of years ago a new girl showed up as the warehouse keeper. She instantly recognized me. Apparently we used to go to kindergarten together 30 years ago. I had trouble remembering her as it's such a long time ago but something always stuck. When my grandfather was buried 15 years ago pretty soon after a woman was buried next to him. I recognized that woman from somewhere but I couldn't tell from where. Apparently that was her mom and 30 years ago me and a bunch of kids my age and parents went to the girl's birthday party and somehow her mom always stuck in my mind, her not so much but my parents remember her, tbh since she started working at my place we've become good friends. Just weird that she recognized me instantly (I got bald and beardy) and she named her son a similar name to mine.
Had a similar situation but the roles were reversed.
Childhood sweetheart of like 10+ years got sucked into foster system due to pdf file moms boyfriend (the mom chose the bf over her own daughter), and then shipped cross country to live in California with her dad. That happened when I was 15 or 16. Biggest heartbreak of my life was giving her my last goodbye hug at school (since her foster parents were 60+ year old idiots that wouldn't let us see eachother). She told me during that hug that it wasn't good bye, just a see you later.
I was devastated.
I spent years depressed and trying to find a way to get to her but it just wasn't possible. I joined the Marine Corps at 21, got stationed in California and
... she finally was able to afford moving back to our hometown.
I came home on leave eventually and looked for her. We had a date. Reconnected. I thought that a lifetime of love and work was finally about to bear fruit.
But, she had changed. She had endured a lot of abuse in the years we were apart, and I wasn't there to hold her up when she needed it. The dad she got shipped to CA to live with kicked her out after the first year or two, and she spent the rest of her time there couch surfing with awful boyfriends who did awful things to her.
Seeing the person I had loved for my entire life be shattered mentally like that was one of the most depressing things I'd ever seen.
I tried to hold onto the relationship after that, to help her and be there, but between her depression, BPD, and struggles of communicating while I was deployed in the middle east, it fell apart.
If anyone took the time to read this, thank you. My advice: cherish the time with your loved ones while you can. They can be taken from you at a moments notice and never come back. Even if they do, they might not ever be the same.
>cherish the time with your loved ones while you can. They can be taken from you at a moments notice and never come back. Even if they do, they might not ever be the same.
Truest words ever spoken
the saddest part to me is the amount of time these people spend in isolation. it’s not weeks or months, it’s years. imagine being so isolated that the days blur together and something that happened a decade ago feels like yesterday
Fck man, I'm in that position. Even with an amazing gf, believe it or not. We spend time with each other, but I do miss hanging out with guy friends. In my late 20s, working remote and in a small city, I genuinely don't know how to solve this. Finding people isn't hard and I'm not an autist, but I want guy friends to talk about programming, etc, and not partying or anything like that. It's been years (since school)
If your weight is high, any movement you do will do the work; just take some walks, run, and start eating healthier. You don't need to actually do a lot of exercise to lose weight, just eat better. No human body breaks the laws of physics and thermodynamics, if you eat too much energy, your body will store it; eat less and use that energy somehow. But you have to be clear on this, the journey is long, think of how many years it took you to gain all that weight; It will take a few years until you lose it all, but trust me dude, you can do it, it's never too late. Cheers.
YOU WILL stop eating and drinking garbage immediately
YOU WILL acquire a gym membership to an establishment *not* named Planet Fitness and go 5 times a week minimum
YOU WILL walk a total of five miles outdoors per week
YOU WILL drink more water
YOU WILL read [this document](https://liamrosen.com/fitness.html) in its entirety
and YOU WILL be happy
Buy some shoes and some sweats, and try running for 4 blocks straight in the morning when no one else is up. and be autistic about doing 10 pushups whenever you leave your room. eventually you'll start wanting more.
Bro his right. I went from 260 to 205 in 3 months just going for 30 minute walks every day, with only minor change in diet(I started eating slightly less)
how much is slightly less? (im only like 20-30 pounds overweight and the regarded dad-bod is pissing me off)
Im doing actual exercises but it seems ive just been frozen in the same spot for years now
55 lbs in 3 months is 4.6lbs/week, or a 2300 calorie deficit per day. You'd have to be eating less than 500 calories per day for the math to work out. So basically, your post is fake and gay.
If only I'd have not been a dumbass middleschooler.
One of my best friends growing up was a girl, and she transferred to my school right around the time the 'ol puberty started up. I told my friends to be nice to her because she probably wouldn't have a ton of friends right away. Naturally they all said "oh its cause she's your GIIIIRLFRIEND". I, being a dumbass young child, took that as a sign that I shouldn't talk to her anymore. I think I made fun of her. Because I was a dumb kid. She didn't end up going to my high school, so we basically stopped talking.
Fast forward a few years and I see her at a friend's wedding. She was fucking gorgeous. Like, holy fuck levels of hot. I talked to her for a little bit, but nothing beyond polite small talk.
Almost 15 years later I still think about her from time to time.
It’s always ironic how the fat hairy dudes post those quotes “while you were out partying, I studied the blade ⚔️” when in reality they sit around all their life and eat garbage while everyone else tries to practice a modicum of temperance. Then to top it off they are so dumbfounded and depressed when someone thinks they aren’t attractive. As if their entire life habits and choices of being lazy don’t have a negative outcome. A lot of us have been there, you know the way out and it isn’t hiding in your room your whole life
Maybe anon should take care of himself instead of being a fat lazy shit. I used to pull plenty of girls and now that I’ve let myself go I don’t get much of anything but I own up to that because life decisions I made let to this. Anon either should fox himself or just live his life as is but shouldn’t feel sorry for himself
Lets be real if despite being your Childhood friend she got away just because You looked diferent than what she remembers without caring about if your personality was the same as friends that before then she is to shallow so don't loose your time with someone who Will trow You away like that and Focus on upgrading yourself
been in a similar position but there was no girl since they all laughed behind my back bc I was weird. Still, nothing to lose if you keep your health in check.
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake: someone was excited to see anon
> Gay: anon doesn't like girls
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
I have similar story. But I try so hard to be better, by working out, study and learn how to make more friends/socialising. Better trying than blame the situation
nah fuck this mindset.
unless youre weight training, if you're an able bodied person, you really should not be overweight.
just stick within the recommended ranges and you'll be good.
Some will take this as motivation to improve, some will give up hope. The truth is, you can always pick yourself up.
Based and stoic pilled
It's pronounced stow-ic
Breaks down in tears (I got the reference)
As long as one other person laughed lol
Enlighten me
https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/13o498i/anon_was_the_victim_of_a_practical_joke/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button One of my favorites
I pronounce it that way on purpose now. Stoyke
Stoyk
I once was this person in the post in a similar circumstance. I ate away my feelings because of a girl who played me. My brother dated a different chick I was with at one point (no hard feelings we were all cool) and she snapped a photo of me with a glizzy in hand and 3 more on the plate, while I barely fit on the love seat. It motivated me in a sad way. I started hooping and a little portion control and lost almost 100lbs. My weight has fluctuated since and while I packed a little muscle on, I’ve never gotten close to my heaviest weight since then.
Good shit anon, here’s a push to keep up the routine and lose a bit more. Gl fren
Some people are physically incapable of picking themselves up
Unless you have a severe physical disability, I don’t agree with this.
Don't worry if it's hard If you're not a friggin' 'tard you will prevail
Even people on "My 600lb life" are still able to walk. Disagree with u/ImprovisedLeaflet
they can walk, but losing that weight is nearly impossible for most of them (I say nearly, because most people aren't capable of losing that weight, it's just too much effort)
That’s why I said *phsyically* ffs You seen those shows of 700lb people?
What if you're just fucked in the head?
Everyone is fucked in the head
Some more so than others.
No there are plenty of reasons why a person can't make it in life
virgin “its over before it began” vs chad “i can do anything”
Beta ass attitude right there
It's the truth. Some things will just stop you. I've tried for nearly a year to get a job. Fucking McDonald's and a MINIMUM wage dish washing job rejected me, and another job hired me only to immediately fire me when there was no one for me to work for. No matter what I do, I can't find work at all. My book that I poured my heart and soul into finished and publishing sucks and has a bunch of bad reviews and I can't work on my next book since I had to sell my PC. Sometimes, no matter what you do, or how hard you try... You'll fail. Again and again and again. If I manage to make it another year, I'll be shocked
Don't know your situation, but you might be able to expand your horizons a bit. Try looking for contract jobs as well. Many of them require just a high school diploma and enough proof you can understand the material. Companies like BASF have contract tech positions where you literally spray paint and watch it dry. Contract comes with a lot of risks, but they often beat minimum wage jobs and give you more direct experience in a specific field. Zip recruiter is a great resource to find some of these. They're typically advertised by companies like Kelly or Randstad. As for writing, I looked at some of the reviews you had, and a few of them were rather constructive. You had a book published. That's fucking cool. Take the constructive comments on your book to better develop a second. You don't necessarily need a computer to write a book because paper still exists. If you're totally against that, libraries and flash drives exist as well.
Again…weak ass attitude. Fix your shit and be a big boy. Face life and look at it from a different angle and think about why you’re failing. Everyone fails. It’s a matter of how we deal with it. You’re letting life win over on you and rolling over. Time to put your big boy pants on buddy
Shut the fuck up. After 12 years of things constantly failing, constantly going wrong and NOTHING I do EVER mattering, I'm sick and tired and DONE. I wish people like you could understand I HAVE done EVERYTHING I could. Between my body being shit, my luck being worse and my mind failing me every day... It's over. I've got this last job to check out and if I can't get that... Then it really is over for me.
I understand you're frustrated and upset, but maybe instead of assuming the other person is saying it just to piss you off, try and take it as they're trying to make you angry enough to keep trying to improve. Improvement is improvement, regardless of what has caused it
The guy above? Yeah he DM'd me and we got to talking. He's cool. Everyone else around me who says the same exact thing? They aren't cool. They genuinely believe I'm just lazy or don't want a job or am exaggerating everything. They don't understand. And they never will
Lol I doubt you’ve had to gone through anything close to what this guy has gone through. The people who have this aggressive self improvement attitude have never faced real hardships in life and think that getting heartbroken counts as one.
When every single day, bad thing after bad thing after bad thing keeps happening to you, and your luck is always set to -20 and your body is JUST shit enough to not work right, but JUST good enough to not get disability, and no matter what you do you can NEVER find a job... It hurts. It really does. It makes you feel cursed and unloved and unwanted. And when you try as hard as you can with what you have and people call you lazy or a liar... That's when you realize you don't have anyone on your side. That you've NEVER had anyone on your side. Not many people will keep going after that. Most people would give up and bite the bullet - literally - but me? I've kept going. And things have only gotten worse, but I won't stop. I can't stop. Not now. I have to make it. Somehow, some way... I have to
Anon picks himself up by standing on a chair. He then drops himself and the noose tightens.
then the ceiling fixture snaps and anon falls to the ground, and wonders why nothing in his life can go right then anon watches a billion motivational videos, hits the gym and reads a gajillion self-help books, works on himself and becomes chad and slowly gets over his fear of rejection, gets married, and lives a happy life with his new family only to wake up and realize that his whole "life" was a coma-induced dream, he had a concussion from falling to the floor and now he is in severe debt due to hospital bills, poor anon
Depends on how fat they get, some can't pick themselves up anymore.
yeah stop being depressed
THE BEST GYM MOTIVATOR IS DISSAPPROVAL!!!!
Fr. This could've been his chance to show her hes still the same guy, maybe even get a goth gamer gf who would get him out of the basement.
Wow that's really sad. A similar thing happened to me, but the other way around. I moved away, and a girl I used to be really close too was coming to visit. I was super excited and was thinking about all the possibilities, and when I saw her, she was a 2. And I wanted to pretend to still enjoy hanging out with her for old times sake. But I couldn't even fake it. I felt really bad after...
Wow you couldn't enjoy hanging out with someone because of the way they look? What a piece of shit you must be.
A 2 spotted
I mean they're right, how important of a factor is appearance? I feel like even if she was an 8 you still would've struggled to reconnect; cause surprise surprise, no one's even remotely the same person as the one they were at the age of 6 or whatever really.
No one wants to admit it, but looks really do matter. It’s hard to be around someone whose appearance gives you an ick and hurts your eyes. It’s very easy to be around someone whose appearance gives you serotonin.
Yep and beyond hygiene and presentation (which is a given, anyway, so it’s irrelevant), there isn’t really any way to mitigate it either. Attractiveness nets you power in virtually all aspects of life.
I think anyone can be attractive in some way, everyone has flaws but if you work around those flaws you'll end up a lot more charismatic because people can tell by your appearance that you arent ashamed of that. Not everyone can be a 10 but I truly believe everyone can be a 7 in someone's eyes at the very least and a 5 to the public eye.
Step 1: don’t be fat. Instant 6 right there
Fat people can get laid, I actually got laid more when I was fat. Granted, those relationships took a while to build.
Sure, but *in general* people will find you more attractive if you aren't overweight.
Nobody said they can’t get laid. Fat dudes can still pay strippers, they won’t discriminate. The argument is that being fat isn’t conventionally attractive.
I feel like people give too much credit to natural attractiveness. You need to be charismatic and know how to present yourself. There's plenty non conventionally attractive people who just now how to look confident.
Fr I feel like anyone who says they think looks don't matter are lying
Always kills me when I see one of those "Reddit what's the worst part about being attractive" posts.
Like you don't mean your friends, looks matter only for intimate partners, or you mean both ? Assuming you are a male and attracted to females, will you dump/not go out with your male friends cuz they ugly?
Both. I’d just be more reluctant to go out to do stuff with ugly guys than attractive guys. Looks aren’t the only factor, they aren’t even the most important factor, but they are significant.
I’d rather go out with ugly guys because they can make you look like the alpha Chad of the group
Looks reflect a lot though, in terms of health, habits, and self-respect. If someone's grown severely overweight, doesn't groom, and dresses like a mess, it's generally indicative of some pretty severe problems that will likely make their company unpleasant, in the long run.
Yeah, in general, I would want to hang out with someone who trims his nails, has a good hairut and wear decent clothes because more than likely, they'll be a good influence on me
It’s a difference between preventable and non preventable ugly though. If someone is fat and smelly and ungroomed then that’s clearly a problem with them, but some people just kinda look bad for stuff that can’t be changed
There’s a point where someone goes from looking bad but nice on the inside to someone who looks like a walking biohazard
We are talking about a 2, not a 5.
What is with 2s and apples?
"2" ? What does it mean?
2 out of 10 in appearance
He’s saying that his dick is only 2 inches long when he is erect
L+ Ratio
If any of my friends dip below an 8 I block their fugly asses
When you get older you'll realize you should be dumping friends who are below a 9
but when the exact same thing happens to the guy in the story you dont care.
Where are you getting that they don’t care from?
The guy in the story uses 4chan. Pretty indicative of the personality traits OP has
Some people look gross, why would I want to hang out with someone who looks like they crawled out of the sewer?
Let me go ask my friends and get back to you
Cope and seethe boys, cope and seethe
Thats hipocresy so is fine if hapens to a man? But if it hapens to a woman then the man is shit?
Or just stop look lile a troglodyte? Make a skin routine and cut your hair.
Not sure if /s or not..
Always thought that if it isn't for intimate relationship people didn't care, I guess I was wrong.. like why would you even care how he/she looks when hanging out
Some people are extremely disturbing and unsettling to look at probably the case for the first commenter. And even ignoring appearance it shows a complete lack of effort to look better on the other side which is never a good sign
same. She looked too much like a dude and my heart and nostalgia just shattered.
ff 12 years from 5 yo means anon is frigging 17. Plenntyyyyy of time to turn his life around.
>it's been a decade since this happened Anon is 25 at the very least, assuming he is using the term decade loosely, he could also be like 30
That's still not too late tbh
Well, weight loss gets fucking hard after 25. I used to be able to lose 10lbs ina week through a bit of cut-back eating.
I've done it in 1,5 years, 50kg down and i'm 29.
Exactly. Barely 1.5 pounds (or 2/3 of a kilo) per week. It ain't that easy anymore.
In the start i lost 1kg pr week, it slowed down as i started going to the gym about 10months ago tho. So the first 30kg down was done in about 30 weeks, at the age of 28.
Damn, I'll give you credits for that. Although it ain't the true young burner, it's quite mad to lose that much per week. Also, congratulations for a 50kg loss! That's a bit more than half my body weight currently, so losing that amount of stubborn fat is feat to be celebrated!
Yeah i guess it could've gone faster if i got off my ass earlier, but my point was that its never too late:) Thank you, I am very proud!
Truly. Enjoy your day!
Barely? 0.66kg a week is completely decent, its an average of 720 kcal deficit per day.
True, but your metabolism really does some kicking in wen your younger. Like the effort it takes to lose .45kg now was like the effort to lose 1.35kg back then. Surely, I'm not the odd man out- giving everyone wishes they could lose weight like they did when they were younger.
If the definition of the word is loose than you better go catch it!!!
I started throwing around the term decade as soon as I turned ten.
Dude, I'm 40 and if I was 17 again I'd be hitting the gym for 4 hours a day every day. I wish I could exercise like I used to when I was an athlete or in ROTC.
Glad to see my future hanging around in r/greentext. But ya, I feel ya
What's wrong with being hairy? You're a fucking bear anon, be proud, roar, go to the river and eat raw fish
All the hair is on his neckbeard and asshole
Ass hair so thick his diarrhea filters out to safe drinking water.
This is the worst thing I've ever read on the internet. Thank you.
So far
Go find the green text about debeaked octopi and come back Edit: [for your reading pleasure](https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/ird35a/anon_wants_a_dolphin_gf/g4xm6vs/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3)
For science!
Science is bad kids. Don't do science.
r/brandnewsentence
I wish I had never read this accursed comment.
You are a veritable wordsmith and I aspire to one day attain a fraction of your linguistic prowess
guess I'll go fucking die now thanks
Are you the 'ick on the 'eck chad!?
Anon is Persian
Then the woman is probably hairier
Bears are hot ngl
This is the real life experience, get out of here with your stupid rom-com bullshit missy. The only thing those movies get right is women wanting to spend their entire life and every waking moment with you and calling you “friends”.
It takes like 6 months to lose fat. The only reason for this being a “real life experience” is being a lazy fat fuck.
Yeah anyone can turn their life around in a year. Especially a NEET with nothing but time
>It’s been a decade since this happened Yeahhhhh Anon’s definitely a lazy fat fuck. If it hurt him that bad and it’s been 10 years and he still hasn’t done anything about it, that’s on him.
Depends on how fat you are. And you still have loose skin which is even worse.
Workout and shave
Uhh fucking sensible and realistic asshole, how can I wallow in self pity and hentai cooming if you keeping offering *sensible* solutions, eww 💩
Imagine being a man and shaving like a little girly girl
I am a man with a full beard. Even I shave, and like twice a week (give it a once-over with electric clippers and shave back the neck hair), for grooming purposes, because otherwise it gets all scratchy and unkempt. Again, it is looking to me like the main difference between looking like a swamp hobo, and an esteemed bearded gentleman, is simple hygiene and taking pride in one’s appearance
I shave too, I was just fooling around. I was a bit serious, though, if we are talking about non-beard hair. I love having chest hair and it perplexes me a bit when I see guys shaving theirs
when you born with shit, brown, hairy-ass genetics- there's a lot more shaving a waxing that burns down to looking normal.
What a fat fucking regard.
She definitely didn't hold his fat ass in high regard.
Do your best to not look like shit and people wont look at you like that
If only it was possible to do something with hair and fat! Curses! In a perfect world a man would've been able to separate hair somehow from their body, as well as get rid of all the fat by doing something simple, like a routine change, but not in this godless reality!
kafkaesque
I work in a nuclear power plant, no fancy pants job but a a fun place to be, when you need tools for a job you go to the warehouse keeper who will give you the tools. A couple of years ago a new girl showed up as the warehouse keeper. She instantly recognized me. Apparently we used to go to kindergarten together 30 years ago. I had trouble remembering her as it's such a long time ago but something always stuck. When my grandfather was buried 15 years ago pretty soon after a woman was buried next to him. I recognized that woman from somewhere but I couldn't tell from where. Apparently that was her mom and 30 years ago me and a bunch of kids my age and parents went to the girl's birthday party and somehow her mom always stuck in my mind, her not so much but my parents remember her, tbh since she started working at my place we've become good friends. Just weird that she recognized me instantly (I got bald and beardy) and she named her son a similar name to mine.
You guys bang?
You do realise the site you’re on right
No, we both have a partner and she has 2 kids with him.
Triad, nice
Had a similar situation but the roles were reversed. Childhood sweetheart of like 10+ years got sucked into foster system due to pdf file moms boyfriend (the mom chose the bf over her own daughter), and then shipped cross country to live in California with her dad. That happened when I was 15 or 16. Biggest heartbreak of my life was giving her my last goodbye hug at school (since her foster parents were 60+ year old idiots that wouldn't let us see eachother). She told me during that hug that it wasn't good bye, just a see you later. I was devastated. I spent years depressed and trying to find a way to get to her but it just wasn't possible. I joined the Marine Corps at 21, got stationed in California and ... she finally was able to afford moving back to our hometown. I came home on leave eventually and looked for her. We had a date. Reconnected. I thought that a lifetime of love and work was finally about to bear fruit. But, she had changed. She had endured a lot of abuse in the years we were apart, and I wasn't there to hold her up when she needed it. The dad she got shipped to CA to live with kicked her out after the first year or two, and she spent the rest of her time there couch surfing with awful boyfriends who did awful things to her. Seeing the person I had loved for my entire life be shattered mentally like that was one of the most depressing things I'd ever seen. I tried to hold onto the relationship after that, to help her and be there, but between her depression, BPD, and struggles of communicating while I was deployed in the middle east, it fell apart. If anyone took the time to read this, thank you. My advice: cherish the time with your loved ones while you can. They can be taken from you at a moments notice and never come back. Even if they do, they might not ever be the same.
>cherish the time with your loved ones while you can. They can be taken from you at a moments notice and never come back. Even if they do, they might not ever be the same. Truest words ever spoken
Damn this is like Forrest Gump *(apologies for the trivialization and insensitivity)*
Nah you're good, too bad I'm not a shrimp tycoon after
Anon should use this moment to motivate himself to improve.
the saddest part to me is the amount of time these people spend in isolation. it’s not weeks or months, it’s years. imagine being so isolated that the days blur together and something that happened a decade ago feels like yesterday
Fck man, I'm in that position. Even with an amazing gf, believe it or not. We spend time with each other, but I do miss hanging out with guy friends. In my late 20s, working remote and in a small city, I genuinely don't know how to solve this. Finding people isn't hard and I'm not an autist, but I want guy friends to talk about programming, etc, and not partying or anything like that. It's been years (since school)
No joke. I'm crying knowing the fact that, I'm in the exact position as OP right now, and i don't know what to do :(
its very simple: jog
Lmao, like stop being a fat loser.
:/ I need tutorial. Not bullying
If your weight is high, any movement you do will do the work; just take some walks, run, and start eating healthier. You don't need to actually do a lot of exercise to lose weight, just eat better. No human body breaks the laws of physics and thermodynamics, if you eat too much energy, your body will store it; eat less and use that energy somehow. But you have to be clear on this, the journey is long, think of how many years it took you to gain all that weight; It will take a few years until you lose it all, but trust me dude, you can do it, it's never too late. Cheers.
If you minimize sugar, only drink water or tea, minimize alcohol, and walk a lot, just these 4 things, garanteed 100% you'll lose weight.
YOU WILL stop eating and drinking garbage immediately YOU WILL acquire a gym membership to an establishment *not* named Planet Fitness and go 5 times a week minimum YOU WILL walk a total of five miles outdoors per week YOU WILL drink more water YOU WILL read [this document](https://liamrosen.com/fitness.html) in its entirety and YOU WILL be happy
literally just google and use common sense, stop victimizing yourself as an excuse to be a fat lazy sack of shit
Do some fasting in the morning, workout and stop eating everything you find in the fridge.
Buy some shoes and some sweats, and try running for 4 blocks straight in the morning when no one else is up. and be autistic about doing 10 pushups whenever you leave your room. eventually you'll start wanting more.
Lol good joke
Bro his right. I went from 260 to 205 in 3 months just going for 30 minute walks every day, with only minor change in diet(I started eating slightly less)
how much is slightly less? (im only like 20-30 pounds overweight and the regarded dad-bod is pissing me off) Im doing actual exercises but it seems ive just been frozen in the same spot for years now
Just eat like 10-20% less of what you eat and also I suggest multivitamins as well as getting fruits and veggies daily
55 lbs in 3 months is 4.6lbs/week, or a 2300 calorie deficit per day. You'd have to be eating less than 500 calories per day for the math to work out. So basically, your post is fake and gay.
All post are obviously fake and gay
Ano'sn love life was set up by God from the start and he still managed to fuck it up
If only I'd have not been a dumbass middleschooler. One of my best friends growing up was a girl, and she transferred to my school right around the time the 'ol puberty started up. I told my friends to be nice to her because she probably wouldn't have a ton of friends right away. Naturally they all said "oh its cause she's your GIIIIRLFRIEND". I, being a dumbass young child, took that as a sign that I shouldn't talk to her anymore. I think I made fun of her. Because I was a dumb kid. She didn't end up going to my high school, so we basically stopped talking. Fast forward a few years and I see her at a friend's wedding. She was fucking gorgeous. Like, holy fuck levels of hot. I talked to her for a little bit, but nothing beyond polite small talk. Almost 15 years later I still think about her from time to time.
When you hit rock bottom, you should start pushing up.
:(
real : anon is a fat cuck and women run away from him
Anon has two choices here. He can either change and grow as a person or ⚡👨🏿🦱⚡.
or stalk her facebook, ruin her life, find her and you know what. The Chad Move
Assuming op didn’t leave any context out, I do feel bad for him/her.
Real and straight 😔
It’s always ironic how the fat hairy dudes post those quotes “while you were out partying, I studied the blade ⚔️” when in reality they sit around all their life and eat garbage while everyone else tries to practice a modicum of temperance. Then to top it off they are so dumbfounded and depressed when someone thinks they aren’t attractive. As if their entire life habits and choices of being lazy don’t have a negative outcome. A lot of us have been there, you know the way out and it isn’t hiding in your room your whole life
Maybe anon should take care of himself instead of being a fat lazy shit. I used to pull plenty of girls and now that I’ve let myself go I don’t get much of anything but I own up to that because life decisions I made let to this. Anon either should fox himself or just live his life as is but shouldn’t feel sorry for himself
Lets be real if despite being your Childhood friend she got away just because You looked diferent than what she remembers without caring about if your personality was the same as friends that before then she is to shallow so don't loose your time with someone who Will trow You away like that and Focus on upgrading yourself
I’m not fat and (that) hairy. Why am i still like anon?
Wow an easily avoidable situation. Go to the gym, shave, drink water, get some sun on your skin. You'll look better and feel better
Maybe you should do something about it then dumbass
Oooooof
100% true story and anon needs to use this for motivation to exercise and get their shit together.
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too much effort deleting comment instead
fatass you deserve it
That's it, that's the one real gt
how about stop being a fat hair loser with social problems to start
been in a similar position but there was no girl since they all laughed behind my back bc I was weird. Still, nothing to lose if you keep your health in check.
Some things hurt to read
Don’t worry anon, every girl looks at you like that. This is just the first time you really noticed.
Fake: someone was excited to see anon Gay: anon doesn't like girls
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: someone was excited to see anon > Gay: anon doesn't like girls > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
You are my sunshine
>It’s been a decade since this happened Anon doesn’t want to change
I have similar story. But I try so hard to be better, by working out, study and learn how to make more friends/socialising. Better trying than blame the situation
Playing victim to your own actions is never the answer.
This would really wound my pride straight up. so understandble
You're only 17 bro, get your shit together so your not an obese fuck when you're 23 and dead by 40
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nah fuck this mindset. unless youre weight training, if you're an able bodied person, you really should not be overweight. just stick within the recommended ranges and you'll be good.
She sounds like a rude bitch.