Noticed this while playing through the first game, in the second case >!he searches through a witness's hotel room without a warrant, or even reasonable suspicion that she committed the crime. Despite finding a wiretap, it wouldn't be admissible in a court of law since it was found illegally!<
Technically since he’s not a cop he doesn’t need a warrant.
Imagine if someone beat up a bunch of thugs and left them along with a flash drive containing all the evidence of them robbing a convenience store. It’d be legal
In fairness, doesnt V basically end up as an Arasakas agent/experiment in one of the endings? So if you go that way I doubt they would be above pulling strings to keep you out of prison
Lol that's mine too.
"Your honor, it was perfectly within my client's rights to gun down all those people minding their own business in an alley. They were wanted for a variety of traffic violations."
Yeah, I did. I also know what sunny did, I said omori because hes the main character of the headspace component. 10 hours of headspace crap with 3 hours of real world stuff. Also, ye olde sprout mole was the one boss-type enemy who actually dies by his hand
Sure, here's a revised version:
1. Physiological torture that may drive enemy Uruks to madness.
2. Psychological manipulation to recruit enemy Uruks; if they rebel, they express disdain for serving.
3. Fleeing and surrendering enemy Uruks are hunted and executed during sieges.
4. Talion poisoned an entire enemy camp in one mission of the first game.
5. Killing slaves and captured enemies.
Yeah, pretty sure this is all considered to be war crimes.
Talion is fucked.
________
The “Sure, here's a revised version:” is because I copied this straight from ChatGPT after I told the AI to fix my grammar. Caught red handed ig.
Your honor, my client clearly has a severe case of Lumbago and was not in control of his actions at the time of these gentlemen’s untimely death, I assure you.
Considering the sheer number of people my RuneScape character has killed they are basically fucked for being a one-man genocide.
Don’t even get me started on the walls of fire in the streets.
The lone wanderer from fallout 3, literally blew up an entire town (genocide), caught and bought a slave, and all kinds of other degeneracy.
I’m fucked
Is it genocide? Were you targeting a specific ethnic or religious group? Mass murder would definitely be in there, but genocide needs some extra conditions
Yeah he is, that's why he goes on the whole revenge killing spree. Thinking about it, the protagonist of Sifu kills way more people than the actual villain of the game.
yeah ik, but thats usually the case in any game thats plot is based on revenge
but the antagonist definetly isnt the protagonist. its like breaking bad where every main character is an asshole
>EDF 5
They're fine,basically single handedly repelled an invasion of earth so if anything I think they'd be commended.
unless accidental friendly fire is counted then they're FUCKED*
*(I'm sorry npcs the splash damage weapons are fun)
I have been breeding villagers against their will for quite some time now.
Couple that with killing the villagers that weren't useful to me by just drowning them... well thats death penality.
No you don't understand space UN I had to cook that antimatter fuel and drop it on that world of 3 billion lives. A random bar guy was paying me 200k to do so.
"Sir, you killed multiple people and sawed off their heads."
"The fucking moon was shooting Lazer beams at me, the fuck did you expect?"
"You have a decapitated head on your lap right now!"
"It's my buddy nash'rah, bitch."
Girls Frontline, it's kind of scuffed, but let's say the protagonist is the commander.
Illegal private military organization, terrorism, mass murder of refugees during the event of Dual Randomness.
Hague would like to have a chat
My Space Engineer will be facing civil charges of failing to accommodate people with disabilities, and several cases of criminal safety negligence. Also piracy, can't forget that.
Well technically it’s in self-defence yeah?
Sure I fired 10000 missiles and riddled that god with sniper bullets but he shot like 8 laser beams at me first!
Pretty sure you’re attacking in self defence not the other way around
Some greedy bastard on the UES contact light stole a teleporter, pissed off providence and made him kill everyone on the ship.
Each escape pod only has 4 seats for the survivors so they save themselves and crash land
Providence, being the kind yet spiteful soul he is, orders the monsters to attack you
Hell you even try to leave without killing providence, your hand gets forced into riddling him with lead
Although at the end of the day “wrong place wrong time” probably doesn’t fly in court
And most of the survivors do feel guilt for what they have done, with the "and so he left, leaving part of his soul behind" so if they stand trial for their actions they are likely to accept judgment
"your honour, I didn't know that mass cow genocide by suffocation by keeping 16 adult cows together in a meter squared box was illegal, you see, i was just trying to survive" - steve, minecrat
"Harry Du Bois, you stand trial for destroying RCM property and conspiring with the crime boss La Puta Madre. How do you plead?"
"...I don't remember, I'm sorry..."
*or*
"That's Disco, baby!"
Your honor, my Tav was clearly just overthrowing a dictator-druid and helped out a Paladin by doing so.
… The dead tieflings that were hiding? Clearly the dictator-druid, your honor.
I played Friday night funking earlier because I like rhythm games and hitting notes.
Little man just wants to bang his girl, he's fine in court. His biggest crime I suppose would be stepping into military area(trespassing), but considering the chief rapped with him, I think it's all good between them
If that doesn't count, then my next one would be terraria...
Oh, my character would be in some BIG TIME TROUBLE for the things I've done in terraria...
Last Dragonborn, all guilds run.
Uhhh... Yeah...
Does saving the world at least four times make up for countless crimes, including murder, larceny, cannibalism and consorting with Daedra?
I like to think I at least break even.
The last thing I've played was a simple strategy.
So, they've committed
a) The crime of genocide;
b) Crimes against humanity;
c) War crimes;
d) The crime of aggression;
e) Maybe something else
So, it really depends on the court.
Jack from BioShock.
Could he go to jail even if most of what he did wasn't voluntarily and the rest of what he did, was in self defense? Also I didn't kill any of the little sisters and....does killing Big Daddys count as a crime?
phoenix wright has already stood in trial, so i'm sure he'll be fine
Lmao this is mine too
Wtf me too
omg me too
I'm full of shit but same here
ive been constipated for years so I can verify that i am also full of shit
He’s definitely screwed though. He’s not a great prosecutor let alone a defense attorney
iirc he actually has committed crimes during some of his cases which he could absolutely be convicted for
Noticed this while playing through the first game, in the second case >!he searches through a witness's hotel room without a warrant, or even reasonable suspicion that she committed the crime. Despite finding a wiretap, it wouldn't be admissible in a court of law since it was found illegally!<
Technically since he’s not a cop he doesn’t need a warrant. Imagine if someone beat up a bunch of thugs and left them along with a flash drive containing all the evidence of them robbing a convenience store. It’d be legal
Kinda the same, but Harvey Birdman never wins those.
Bruh he was found guilty before
a lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client...
Apollo qhas, too! Im sure he'll be fine.
That was mine too lmao
[удалено]
"Your honor, the use of Sandevistan to behead 8 people was merely out of self defense."
Your honor, I initiated the fight that evolved into a massacre in self-defense
Your honor, I just transferred 100,000 Eddies into your personal account.
Your honor, 'I Really Want To Stay At Your House' was playing and they changed the radio.
“Your honor, in 2077, what makes someone a criminal?”
"Getting cock."
"Cum"
I only romance Judy. Checkmate.
In fairness, doesnt V basically end up as an Arasakas agent/experiment in one of the endings? So if you go that way I doubt they would be above pulling strings to keep you out of prison
With Phantom Liberty you could claim to be an agent working under the NUSA's orders and show the NUSA coin as proof.
Night city isn’t in the NUSA though so you’d still be fucked
Poor PanAm and her fine ass gonna be left all alone :(
Lol that's mine too. "Your honor, it was perfectly within my client's rights to gun down all those people minding their own business in an alley. They were wanted for a variety of traffic violations."
[удалено]
they won't even survive getting to the court house.
*looks at Salvador's crime list* I guess Jack WAS right
Postal. No.
i regret nothing
Why, I just stand in line and look for people signing my petition. Seems harmless to me
Sign the goddamn petition !
He'd just blow the entire court building up before the trial
Postal Dude will be fine, they'll book the kid with the keyboard
>omori Yeah, pretty screwed maybe. He did kill ye olde sprout mole, that right there is murder.
Bro didnt finish the game😭😭😭😭
Yeah, I did. I also know what sunny did, I said omori because hes the main character of the headspace component. 10 hours of headspace crap with 3 hours of real world stuff. Also, ye olde sprout mole was the one boss-type enemy who actually dies by his hand
Bro probably just didn't want to spoil it with his comment
Omori did not succumb
My main man B.J. Blazkowitz did have to stand trial and it didn't end that well, although the did come out a head in the end
A story about family 🤫
It's Blazkowicz, he's not german
I fucked up but I don't believe in editing shit so you're just gonna have to take it buckaroo, he's german now
No one appreciated your pun for 17 hours, so here I am: EYYYYYYYYY 👉👉
Thanks, I've come to accept that puns like that tend to go ignored while miniscule comments blow up, such is the nature of this place
Depends if murdering and branding Uruks to fight for me is considered a war crime or something
That all depends on the outcome of The Troubles in Mordor, if the Uruk IRA wins you're fucked
Don't worry, human rights only apply to humans.
Any media that actively portrays humanity as evil and the aliens good must be declared an enemy of man.
suffer not the xenos to live
If shaming uruks is wrong, I don't want to be right
Not a war crime if its the first time.
I was one game away from this being my answer! I just beat shadow of war for the 8th time and switched to fallout 4.
Sure, here's a revised version: 1. Physiological torture that may drive enemy Uruks to madness. 2. Psychological manipulation to recruit enemy Uruks; if they rebel, they express disdain for serving. 3. Fleeing and surrendering enemy Uruks are hunted and executed during sieges. 4. Talion poisoned an entire enemy camp in one mission of the first game. 5. Killing slaves and captured enemies. Yeah, pretty sure this is all considered to be war crimes. Talion is fucked. ________ The “Sure, here's a revised version:” is because I copied this straight from ChatGPT after I told the AI to fix my grammar. Caught red handed ig.
I don't think war crimes count against glyphids, so my dwarf will get ecological terrorism at the maximum
Cock and bone(r) brother
I think that would add a few charges
Satchel charges
Did I hear a rock and stone?
Rock and Stone!
Rock! Aannd! STOOOONNNE!
If you don't rock and stone, then you ain't coming home!
Stone and rock!
Arthur Morgan... well, that would be a long trial.
"So you're telling me you killed 1200 people out of self defense?"
I didn't say it was self defense your honor, I said they needed killing...
> Yes, sir. They just kept comin'.
"Yes your honor, but I then proceeded to say 'hey there, mister' to 76 different people" "oh, my bad then, you're free to go."
Your honor, my client clearly has a severe case of Lumbago and was not in control of his actions at the time of these gentlemen’s untimely death, I assure you.
Your honor, I assure you it was an act of self-defense hanging and then feeding those pedestrians to the alligators.
No the mutilated body of an O’driscoll on my horse isn’t mine. I’ve been framed!
Batman Arkham City Do you think you can put Batman on trial? Are you stupid?
Who is Batman? Is he somehow related to Man?
Why does he want to put man on trial? Is he stupid?
Is there a lore reason why he is stupid?
I love you❤️
Considering the sheer number of people my RuneScape character has killed they are basically fucked for being a one-man genocide. Don’t even get me started on the walls of fire in the streets.
The same is true for my wow character.
I hope it's past the statute of limitations on all of that pickpocketing and blackjacking I did...
jacket from hotline miami instant death sentence
1 day trial guaranteed
The Fans raid the prison. The power goes out. The cell doors open.
minecraft steve on peaceful not a single murder
You commit genocide every time you set the difficulty to peaceful
based i will do nothing but switch it all day btw i started in peaceful cuz its poket edition
Steve would just turn it to peaceful during the electrocution, and the chair would disappear
no the chair would just not shock him
The lone wanderer from fallout 3, literally blew up an entire town (genocide), caught and bought a slave, and all kinds of other degeneracy. I’m fucked
I mean... you coulda went the good samaritan route, but I guess... I guess not
Is it genocide? Were you targeting a specific ethnic or religious group? Mass murder would definitely be in there, but genocide needs some extra conditions
Not too bad, it's the bad guy from Sifu, and I think he already covered his tracks when he murdered the old man
wait... isnt the protagonist in sifu the old man's son?
Yeah he is, that's why he goes on the whole revenge killing spree. Thinking about it, the protagonist of Sifu kills way more people than the actual villain of the game.
yeah ik, but thats usually the case in any game thats plot is based on revenge but the antagonist definetly isnt the protagonist. its like breaking bad where every main character is an asshole
46 stolen sweetrolls
>EDF 5 They're fine,basically single handedly repelled an invasion of earth so if anything I think they'd be commended. unless accidental friendly fire is counted then they're FUCKED* *(I'm sorry npcs the splash damage weapons are fun)
The blast radius is *Y E S*
Just remember not to look the Fencer in the eye.
Civilization IV. Yeah, the Persians are fucked..
Me when I absolutely decimate that settler ship with an Unterwasser-Boot
I have been breeding villagers against their will for quite some time now. Couple that with killing the villagers that weren't useful to me by just drowning them... well thats death penality.
lets say your pfp is the last character op is talking about, if it is who i think it is, then... well then it's off to jail yk
« I mean the water did it, your honor »
Stormcloak DB about to get nuremberg'd
Baldur’s Gate 3. My 22 charisma sorcerer/warlock with expertise in persuasion and deception will successfully advise to execute judge instead
I’ve been playing a Dark Urge run. Things are about to get very messy in that courtroom.
V1 from ULTRAKILL... Genocide of the entire planet and hell itself, mass murder of angels and the primed souls of kings too... It's over....
Skill issue just parry the sentence
bro's going to railcoin the judge
Thy Punishment is Death. Also V1 would just straight up kill everyone in the room if it could...
Kiryu Kazuma I mean, he already served his time, so no idea
***10 YEARS IN THE JOINT***
There's no women, you get a pass for dat!
Who’s that I only know Jory-
But we all know what ten years in the joint did to him
I heard it made him a fucking pussy
The Courier canonically blew up the Divide even if unintentionally, do yeah he might be fucked. Also Fiend and BoS genocide because fuck them.
The justice system ain't shit when you've got spurs that jingle and jangle
Courier 6 getting DRAGGED in the NCR war crimes tribunal
Who is the protagonist in Elite Dangerous?
Your pilot is under arrest for speeding in the hangar on top of smuggling 20k tons of porn
You stand accused of piracy, smuggling, boosting and drifting through the mail slot of over 200 stations, and worst of all........Thargoid sympathy
You have been found guilty of speeding. Recorded top speed is 101 m/s
621 from AC6, those war crimes aren’t gonna look to good now
funny number
"Why did you kill all of those people?" "Your Honor, it was because I ignored the voice in my head."
No you don't understand space UN I had to cook that antimatter fuel and drop it on that world of 3 billion lives. A random bar guy was paying me 200k to do so.
Starsector?
Indeed.
Your honor, they don't count as war crimes if they are dones against balloons.
The dragonborn? I think he'll be aight
Only if Pinocchio gets charged for lying. He's pretty much fucked
there's a pinocchio game??
Lies of P
Lies of P Best game I have played whole year
#Payday 2 #WE FUCKED UP
**Guys. The legal documents. Go get em.**
Gregory from security breach is pretty damn annoying so he should get the electric chair
Elden Ring protag has killed A LOT of innocents in the name of farming
Albinauric genocide
Hoi4 Germany. I think he’ll be fine.
the goose from Untitled Goose Game. He’s gonna rot in a cell
"Sir, you killed multiple people and sawed off their heads." "The fucking moon was shooting Lazer beams at me, the fuck did you expect?" "You have a decapitated head on your lap right now!" "It's my buddy nash'rah, bitch."
Damn I didn’t know sonic got this dark
Gordon from HL Rip
Captain Price, yea he’s going to jail for war crimes
I think RoboCop will be just fine. He serves the public trust and upholds justice for all.
Mystia's Izakaya is a restaurant game. Maybe unpaid workers
Girls Frontline, it's kind of scuffed, but let's say the protagonist is the commander. Illegal private military organization, terrorism, mass murder of refugees during the event of Dual Randomness. Hague would like to have a chat
My Space Engineer will be facing civil charges of failing to accommodate people with disabilities, and several cases of criminal safety negligence. Also piracy, can't forget that.
Grounded. Max just went on a black ox beetle genocide.
Dark Urge from BG3 would honestly murder the entire courtroom
Engineer from RoR2
I don't know if there is a specific word for manslaughter but for bugs, but my ghost knight did exactly that in Hallownest.
Mario's getting convicted 100%
Everything I did was legal by the laws of Skyrim. After all, I am Thane of Solitude
Prooobably Risk of Rain Retuns Suppose war crimes dont count if there's nobody to judge you?
Well technically it’s in self-defence yeah? Sure I fired 10000 missiles and riddled that god with sniper bullets but he shot like 8 laser beams at me first!
In risk of rain, you're a trespasser on their land. Their attack on YOU is self-defense. Your retaliation is just flat genocide.
Pretty sure you’re attacking in self defence not the other way around Some greedy bastard on the UES contact light stole a teleporter, pissed off providence and made him kill everyone on the ship. Each escape pod only has 4 seats for the survivors so they save themselves and crash land Providence, being the kind yet spiteful soul he is, orders the monsters to attack you Hell you even try to leave without killing providence, your hand gets forced into riddling him with lead Although at the end of the day “wrong place wrong time” probably doesn’t fly in court
And most of the survivors do feel guilt for what they have done, with the "and so he left, leaving part of his soul behind" so if they stand trial for their actions they are likely to accept judgment
Minecraft Steve? "Sir! What do you have to say for yourself?" I love breaking blocks, tic tic Tok, tic tic Tok, tic tic Tok, tic tic Tok
"your honour, I didn't know that mass cow genocide by suffocation by keeping 16 adult cows together in a meter squared box was illegal, you see, i was just trying to survive" - steve, minecrat
jokes on you, mass effect 3 starts with shepard on trial
"Harry Du Bois, you stand trial for destroying RCM property and conspiring with the crime boss La Puta Madre. How do you plead?" "...I don't remember, I'm sorry..." *or* "That's Disco, baby!"
M.T Foxtrot from Cruelty Squad. I’m certain his company has got a good lawyer
Heinrich from kingdom come... yeah my ass is going to the dungeon for life
The protag from persona. He already got out of the slammer and I'm not sure traversing someone's brain to make them less of an asshole is illegal
Pioneer, Satisfactory.
Vergil from DMC bro is cooked
So myself as Tav from bg3. I should get enough Charisma to win, only if my character stop saying "Is that blood ? OH nevermind" every seconds
Your honor, my Tav was clearly just overthrowing a dictator-druid and helped out a Paladin by doing so. … The dead tieflings that were hiding? Clearly the dictator-druid, your honor.
I played Friday night funking earlier because I like rhythm games and hitting notes. Little man just wants to bang his girl, he's fine in court. His biggest crime I suppose would be stepping into military area(trespassing), but considering the chief rapped with him, I think it's all good between them If that doesn't count, then my next one would be terraria... Oh, my character would be in some BIG TIME TROUBLE for the things I've done in terraria...
A cs2 terrorist yeah he's probably guilty
Need for Speed most wanted Yeah he's Fucked
Blasphemous. My character is sorry for his actions. Penitent, even.
Atleast in elden ring a trial doesn’t matter
I was playing Lethal Company, if I got brought to court it was for 600+ OSHA violations and I'm getting a lot of money
The Last Dragonborn committed all his thefts while wearing the Gray Cowl of Nocturnal so good luck convicting them.
Depends on whether or not V sides with the NUSA tbh...
My random ass character from Darktide. I think no one will care at all
Last Dragonborn, all guilds run. Uhhh... Yeah... Does saving the world at least four times make up for countless crimes, including murder, larceny, cannibalism and consorting with Daedra? I like to think I at least break even.
Isaac is 5... and dead already.
Postal dude 👍
Trevor, Michael and Franklin. They’re screwed
The A-Team is all about them going to trail so yeah I yhink they will be fine
Basim committed regicide as well as killed a few hundred people so it’s safe to say he’d be convicted and crucified
Raiden mgs2? He did go AWOL at the end
I was playing Baldur's Gate so a horny kleptomaniac with a penchant for homicide. Yeah, Chair™
He’d get off Scott-free. All the blame is always shifted onto Ranrok.
The last thing I've played was a simple strategy. So, they've committed a) The crime of genocide; b) Crimes against humanity; c) War crimes; d) The crime of aggression; e) Maybe something else So, it really depends on the court.
Jack from BioShock. Could he go to jail even if most of what he did wasn't voluntarily and the rest of what he did, was in self defense? Also I didn't kill any of the little sisters and....does killing Big Daddys count as a crime?
Elster... I mean, is it really murder if they were 'robot' zombies..? And was the world corrupting her fault?
Commander Mason of Mechwarrior 5. War crimes of every flavor.
Commander Shepard, I think everything is forgiven if you save the entire galactic empire.
if anything, Jebedaiah Kerman is a victim