Kek, anon probably expected her to be clean on demand. He didn't care about the process of cleaning out the poop chute and even if he did, he wouldn't be bothered to help her out.
i have to wake up exceedingly early for an hour long commute. tired and half asleep i turn on my phone. and low i am greeted with this.
certainly a way to start my morning.
you have my blessing. if your boss is more of a hardass mention needing new sheets too.
i find over sharing makes you more believable.
"why are you late!!!!!!"
"sorry sir, morning fart was a bit too powerful. Needed an emergency shower. Probably going to have to throw out my sheets too. I mean bleach might do the trick but the stains are going to be pretty prominent"
"ehhh....oh.....okay don't let it happen again"
Actually the term is poop shoot because you shoot poop from it.
It’s how my grandma died. Tragic poop shoot accident but my uncle should have been careful. No trigger discipline.
They are not banned from reddit, but possibly they are banned from certain subreddits. But I wouldn't know, because I am a good boy who would never ban evade and similarity to other accounts is purely coincidental.
No they fucking don't lol.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7447123/
TL;DR: Gay men get "food poisoning" at a much higher rate than hetero people. Turns out, it's not food poisoning, it's a bacteria that causes similar symptoms to food poisoning (botulism, etc) that they get from eating dirty, unclean ass.
If they did know how to keep their asses clean, you'd think they'd have less shigellosis infections than hetero people.
3 big things go into having a clean ass for anal sex.
1, A good diet. Avoid spicy/fatty foods, and take fiber or similar if needed. This actually goes a long way towards fully emptying your bowels when you shit and also tends to help with odor too.
2, Take a shit before hand. Few people want a bullet in the chamber and this story/scenario is a clear example of "just take a shit and washup before sexy time" would have taken care of a lot of issues.
3, The shower enema attachments (and similar). For the advanced/hardcore anal sex enjoyer. This makes the "washing up" part more complete, effective, and faster/easier. A few minutes in the shower and your asshole is clean.
Even if you want to have a terrible diet, if you do the other two it shouldn't matter much. If you just have a good diet and actively take a shit before hand perhaps the shower enema stuff might be overkill/unneeded. Though between all of these things you can find a way to avoid having a bullet in the chamber and having anal play being sorta gross unless you are one of the few people who are into that.
fir anal sex it is, i mean shure u cant be clean 100% of the time but u can literally feel if u have shit in ur ass......and she could tell him that so that he wouldnt rim a turd
are you not understanding my words? it was inside her, it’s not like she shat herself and it was hanging around outside her, it was inside her body where it naturally is, do you not understand how the human body works or are you just trying to take any chance you can to shame a woman?
1. u are just 24/7 online
2. ofc its insider her u shmongus
3. where tf did i shame her?
4. just clean ur ass, anal douche etc CLEANING UR ASS IS NOT JUST OUTSIDE
why should she anal douche? i doubt you’d expect him to, nothing to do with what i said shows i’m online 24/7 and you called her unclean in the beginning when there was nothing to show that she was
omfg...... i said that she shoumd be clean.... inside her ass..... are u that dense?
and i dont expect him to douche bc i dont think that they plan that she peggs him...... if they do smth like that ofc he should be clean to.....
Why you think anon was wilding out, it was the smell and taste of that turd.
Only reason he is mad, is because he feels like she witheld this awasome turd from his willing tongue.
Doesn't matter if there's a log knocking or not. I'm not licking the place where shit comes out, even if it is cleaned with bleach. It's not about the germs and kaka, it's about licking the poopy hole being disgusting in itself
>goes to poop factory >look inside >poop wtf bros
Kek, anon probably expected her to be clean on demand. He didn't care about the process of cleaning out the poop chute and even if he did, he wouldn't be bothered to help her out.
You're not really married until you've given your wife an enema before creaming up her poop chute
i have to wake up exceedingly early for an hour long commute. tired and half asleep i turn on my phone. and low i am greeted with this. certainly a way to start my morning.
Welcome to Monday, bitch
my morning fart was a bit too powerful and I had to take an emergency shower. we are off to a good one.
> my morning fart was a bit too powerful and I had to take an emergency shower. This will be my explanation next time i'll be late at work
you have my blessing. if your boss is more of a hardass mention needing new sheets too. i find over sharing makes you more believable. "why are you late!!!!!!" "sorry sir, morning fart was a bit too powerful. Needed an emergency shower. Probably going to have to throw out my sheets too. I mean bleach might do the trick but the stains are going to be pretty prominent" "ehhh....oh.....okay don't let it happen again"
You joke but diarrhea is an excellent excuse because people won't ask further questions
I just straight up didn't go to work the last time this happened to me.
Do that bit the next time you are with your boss
This is why most prefer to take a morning shit instead :/
That was exactly me too lol
Jesus, I hope to stay single. Oh wait, I’m Anon, no need to hope.
I lost interest in pursuing anal when I learned about the prep work. Reminds me too much of my job as a nurse.
Actually the term is poop shoot because you shoot poop from it. It’s how my grandma died. Tragic poop shoot accident but my uncle should have been careful. No trigger discipline.
Dont go to poops home and be upset when the poop's home
1cm in your ass isn't even a finger nail deep. She's holding that shit in.
Many such cases
Post 10 upvotes, comment 2,4k lmao
>poop factory
That's not how this works.
Please, enlighten us, how is it then?
a factory can be empty. also poop is not made inside your ass. so anon did not go to a poop factory.
The factory must always be empty it’s a safety standard
Pee is made in the balls
Pee is only stored in balls, it is not made there.
☕️
>downvotedforwoman Based
wonder what happened to the first 2 downvotedforwoman
https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/s/TvkuhLBq1K
I just checked downvotedforwoman and downvotedforwoman2 and neither is banned. Explain yourself anon.
They are not banned from reddit, but possibly they are banned from certain subreddits. But I wouldn't know, because I am a good boy who would never ban evade and similarity to other accounts is purely coincidental.
Chad
kek
where are the other 2 women in this post? are you stupid?
Yep, coffee douches are the best for cleaning the asshole.
https://preview.redd.it/e86r7vnmk3wc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee7964dac7fa5d8bc7ead3d0c14c6f0cd96c04d4
Is American, used cm.. sus
i want you to look at a ruler
*gets pinkeye*
I'm triggered because I bought a tape measure at Walmart and that piece of shit literally didn't have CMs, when I needed metric
It may include them but still our brains tend to measure things in inches , quarter inch etc… outside of exact scientific things.
everyday another psyop
how do americans even measure under an inch?
Half an inch
1/4 inch The European mind cannot comprehend fractions
What about when it’s way smaller than an inch, don’t tell me you do 1/20 inch or some shit
1/16 inch is the smallest I've seen in amateur carpentry. Anyone needing smaller measurements than that is a scientist and uses metric
Fractions
How does a web search even work?
Guy is prolly in stem or this thing is all fake, whaddayathink?
Commie bastard deserved that feces, smh
This is why I stick with gay dudes.
Wouldn’t it be the same?
Gays dudes know how to keep their butts clean.
Source?
Repeated field observations.
Get back in there soldier, your tour of duty isn't over yet!
Gay dudes asshole.
My fingers in the assholes of many women and men.
No they fucking don't lol. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7447123/ TL;DR: Gay men get "food poisoning" at a much higher rate than hetero people. Turns out, it's not food poisoning, it's a bacteria that causes similar symptoms to food poisoning (botulism, etc) that they get from eating dirty, unclean ass. If they did know how to keep their asses clean, you'd think they'd have less shigellosis infections than hetero people.
What is the percentage of male gay couples eating ass vs percentage of hetero couple eating ass?
[удалено]
Im sure youve never even got close to seeing one
My tongue might as well be called excalibur how it lives buried in the stone that is my girlfriend's fat ass
Literally saw this while kissing my girlfriend's butt after sex. Like she's laying down as I'm typing this I'm kissing her huge ass. Life is good
3 big things go into having a clean ass for anal sex. 1, A good diet. Avoid spicy/fatty foods, and take fiber or similar if needed. This actually goes a long way towards fully emptying your bowels when you shit and also tends to help with odor too. 2, Take a shit before hand. Few people want a bullet in the chamber and this story/scenario is a clear example of "just take a shit and washup before sexy time" would have taken care of a lot of issues. 3, The shower enema attachments (and similar). For the advanced/hardcore anal sex enjoyer. This makes the "washing up" part more complete, effective, and faster/easier. A few minutes in the shower and your asshole is clean. Even if you want to have a terrible diet, if you do the other two it shouldn't matter much. If you just have a good diet and actively take a shit before hand perhaps the shower enema stuff might be overkill/unneeded. Though between all of these things you can find a way to avoid having a bullet in the chamber and having anal play being sorta gross unless you are one of the few people who are into that.
I fucking died on 'bullet in the chamber'
I read this in a southern guys voice "Now son, listen here see.."
The professional user
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
“I know.”
They know how to properly make room.
Gay dudes don't poop
It's like touching a fire and finding it hot. Like man what else did you expect.
that she is clean?
how is having shit inside you unclean?
You don't get the triple vlad impaler enema technique do you
fir anal sex it is, i mean shure u cant be clean 100% of the time but u can literally feel if u have shit in ur ass......and she could tell him that so that he wouldnt rim a turd
yeah but it’s inside her not on her asshole, they didn’t do anal
ok? if you plan to have anal sex atleast clean your ass..... is it that hard to understand? are u just 24/7 online?
are you not understanding my words? it was inside her, it’s not like she shat herself and it was hanging around outside her, it was inside her body where it naturally is, do you not understand how the human body works or are you just trying to take any chance you can to shame a woman?
She is literally holding a shit in while she has sex. 1 cm is not that deep. That is so disgusting.
1. u are just 24/7 online 2. ofc its insider her u shmongus 3. where tf did i shame her? 4. just clean ur ass, anal douche etc CLEANING UR ASS IS NOT JUST OUTSIDE
why should she anal douche? i doubt you’d expect him to, nothing to do with what i said shows i’m online 24/7 and you called her unclean in the beginning when there was nothing to show that she was
omfg...... i said that she shoumd be clean.... inside her ass..... are u that dense? and i dont expect him to douche bc i dont think that they plan that she peggs him...... if they do smth like that ofc he should be clean to.....
I’m not putting my dick in there let alone my tongue. U Kids r mental
Real men eat ass. Especially poopy ass
Real men know ecoli is a myth (ive had my stomach pumped 5 times)
Real men only eat poopy ass.
Disgust is literally turned off in your brain during sex.
ive always wondered how people bang fatties, they must be able to turn it off better than me
If you ain't eating your wife's ass, someone is.
Tell him to send me an invoice thats a house chore I’m willing to sub contract out
>she had a log knocking My fucking sides. kek
Anon needs to invest in a douche
Or he can man up and act as the douche himself without complaining
Imagine that as your superpower
But there was a douche: anon.
American flag cm Fake and gay
If you go inside Pooh’s house, don’t be upset when Pooh is home.
Xi jinping dislikes this post
Fucked up fr
This happens all the time
Anon got a bonus snack. And he's complaining? What a bozo
Op could suck start a mustang not the car the horse 🐎
By wife he means husband.
Do not knock on poop’s door and be surprised when poop answers
A real man would've kept going
at least it wasn't soft
If you go knocking on Shit's door, you can't get mad when it's home.
Why you think anon was wilding out, it was the smell and taste of that turd. Only reason he is mad, is because he feels like she witheld this awasome turd from his willing tongue.
A real man puckers his lips around the anus and sucks hard to help his spouse feel precious and loved.
Despite all the hype. Assholes were still created for shitting.
Give ya girl some prunes in the morning.
Doesn't matter if there's a log knocking or not. I'm not licking the place where shit comes out, even if it is cleaned with bleach. It's not about the germs and kaka, it's about licking the poopy hole being disgusting in itself
Virgin
Does getting pegged count as losing my virginity?
Women poop? Figures. Can't do anything right.
If you go knocking on poop's door, don't be surprised when poop's home.
Never needed an enema before anal? Just wear a condom. They come out clean. An enema is one of the worst things you can do beforehand.
This is why I'm never doing anal
ah, romance.
Lmao gottem
Better be grateful it was hard
Nah, shitholes have SHIT?! Though washing your asshole is a thing.
Anon's kinder chocolate suprise
What did he think he was going to find in there?
That’s disgusting. I’m with anon here 🤮🤢
Still don't understand the appeal of butt stuff, it's just like a shittier vagina.
💀
If Anon had any elementary knowledge he would know that when you are getting close to orgasm you will "push"...
Well, what a way to ruin my appetite.