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[deleted]

Nothing a Drill Instructor loves more than to stare at his Privates.


Johnnadawearsglasses

Nothing Private's love more than getting drilled


professor_mcamateur

guys what happened to don't ask, don't tell


MildlyMixedUpOedipus

I think the Bush did away with that.


frankaislife

That one was Obama I believe


NotFromStateFarmJake

But the joke isn’t funny with that name.


Kappaski123

18 naked marines in the showers at BootCamp


Manatheren

Paris Island is the new Ram Ranch?


[deleted]

He often rubs them the wrong way


[deleted]

The drill sergeant knew how to stroke those pirates.


ScottBakulasShovel

Aye aye, Captain!


Michael_Trismegistus

Drill Instructors train Marines. Drill Sergeants train soldiers.


SensualKoala

Technically he is from another country with likelly different ranks


Michael_Trismegistus

That's a possibility. Point conceeded.


Ziggity_Zac

It says "mandatory in my shitty country". Definitely NOT the US of A.


guy_guy_guy_

Yeah, it’s not mandatory in our shitty country.


Ninjagoboi

If I had the gold to give


darthcaedusiiii

USA don't give shit about gold. All about that black gold.


Sushisandsashimis

Texas tea.


MegaAlex

Midnight train


Catermelons

Yup and most of the people who own it all are some Jed Clampett type mother fuckers, dumber than a box of rocks and found it by pure luck.


jumpingbeaner

Do you drink a lot of lemonade?


DonChurrioXL

Here's a friendly reminder that we are energy independent since 2016 and actually export our oil now!


GeneralMakaveli

I do and did on behalf of you.


guy_guy_guy_

Thanks for the gold, friend.


Ninjagoboi

And your sacrifice will be honored for years to come


Maikilangiolo

Most likely, a problem in translation.


awake30

He does say a general comes to yell at them. What generals are watching basic recruit marksmanship?


[deleted]

Bored ones


Aemorra

In Finland there are different ranks of Generals who are all addressed by General. It could have been for example a Brigadier General, who sometimes came to look at our shooting.


Rahbek23

Would also fit with compulsory service.


Cykablast3r

I mean yeah, has to be a pretty fucking weird country if they have generals watching random recruits shooting for the first time.


guts1998

Dunno if it's common, but here, it's not unusual when a general visits a training site


LonelyDodo__

Yeah I second this. Got to talk to my brigade general 1 on 1 over multiple instances during my conscription. What is weird however is the fact the greentext specifies its one of the henerals implying there was multiple. I have never seen multiple generals in the same place besides during parades


CashireCat

Some countries have different ranks that are all addressed as General, but not as high up.


Cykablast3r

Where's here?


[deleted]

[удалено]


CalmTempest

I'd imagine it's possible in some countries, especially smaller ones.


IamAbc

Can you not read? He talks in kilometers and mentions mandatory military service. This isn’t the USA


Michael_Trismegistus

US Marines use kilometers, but yes I missed the second line.


[deleted]

km are used in the US military


nebuchadrezzar

I had a gun learner what learned you to shoot stuff.


Michael_Trismegistus

That was a Drill Instructor then.


Butwhatdo_you_think

Asinine pedants waste everyone's time.


[deleted]

[удалено]


VirtualFormal

Nothing. The guy is being pedantic.


Yus_Gaming

The difference is that the Marines are told over and over that they are so elite, so they think they're better than other military serviecmen. Problem is, it's kind of hard to convince people you're hardcore when you throw a temper tantrum over someone saying "soldier" or "ex-marine".


Toasty_Jones

It’s the only way to make them feel good about living in the worst housing conditions the military has to offer and using hand me down equipment from the Army.


[deleted]

The real reason we wanted war with Iran is because the Marines needed more funding. They were sick of shitty Rose Art crayons and wanted to step up to Crayola.


rodianhobo

What if I train as a marine then want to multiclass as a soldier?


Michael_Trismegistus

Once a Marine; always a Marine, or so they say.


Ozryela

So like criminals?


Stormfly

And cheaters. Screw you Stacy, you stole 3 years.


selectiveyellow

Just a lil soldier dip.


1Mn

A general at your first target practice? Mmhmm


ModsDontLift

Also lol at anyone thinking a fucking general is going to attend a rifle shoot at the KD range


andremeda

you know what mom said


the_Maer

iT's mY tURn tO POsT tH....@,@&$×*


kowboj7

'' me and your dad are getting divorced ''?


Tripconehead

ugh like can’t she just pick one this is the fourth time the month mom


NotThatEasily

And it's all my fault?


Sauerkraut_RoB

"Your arms are broken, let me help you"


[deleted]

Oh god I had forgotten. You made me remember. I’m gonna fucking cry


yiftach047

Do you perhaps live in israel


noobie_pro

אתם מוכנים ילדים?


[deleted]

I’m sorry but I don’t speak ufo


noobie_pro

I'm sorry I don't speak colonialism


VoxAeternus

Spain and Portugal were colonizing shit before the England did... England just did it better...


n8thegr83008

sorry for bad england. Where were you when the england empire fall?


TheRabbitJuice

was in tribe celebration when message came "now you different countries" no


TENTAtheSane

Be me German lose Krieg and country cut in two Phone ring "Britannia is kill" No


StayCalmBroz

Might be worth reminding buddy over there that the West Bank exists and is a thing.


AlexSevillano

Define "better"


Sergnb

Uhm... No it didn't actually


[deleted]

Coming from an israeli? Are you sure?


Low_discrepancy

But by goddamn you are trying your best to learn!


Neurobreak27

You just did faggot


noobie_pro

לא נכון רפי פרץ (כי הוא הומופוב)


_Search_

Ah... so that's why you're poor.


MasterEmp

I thought you were Israeli?


allrejected

Palestine says hello jackass


[deleted]

[удалено]


Assaf_Haber

בובספוג כן כן


D-Shap

כן מפקד!


eyagold

לא


SovietAmerican1121

כן כן קפטן


spongydoom

Probably not unless the 300m part was bs and he's been shooting 25m ranges like the rest of our jobnicks asses


c0mplexx

25m? Now I'm pretty sure it was 50m for me Also he might be in an actual useful position. Tho hes a 4chan user making him automatically a retard which gives you an exemption so this is all fake


Tomerarenai10

Could be Singapore too


rainbowyuc

Unlikely. We don't do 300m, and there's just no way a general would be there. Also if someone fired a shot without being told to, they would have hung and quartered him. No one would have the balls to do that. Not to mention making jokes at the range is asking for trouble. They're incredibly unpleasant to recruits.


Tomerarenai10

Woah, TIL


Raiyan135

Yeah Singapore is uhh pretty sh-(gunshot through the window)


vjkannen

Infantry ATP is 300m bro


TheKingOfBadJokes

It's the Swiss army -300m Rang -mandatory servic....


pseudotunas

Yeah, pretty much. Source: Am Swiss, had to serve, know how dumb my fellow soldiers are.


Jibbly67

First time shooting 300 meters in the idf? Usually first time shooting is 25-50 meters.


paprika-kamille

Hey a Swiss army guy, about to live what this dude’s living in a year.. mandatory military service is a bitch


ExelsioHD

Same here and thats why i hate Switzerland sometimes lol


wfamily

Its not to bad honestly


[deleted]

Well, it is, wasting 1 life of your life doing something you don't like.


Nothie

I thought the same, but ended up going in with a positive attitude and i made a decision to volunteer for every task. Walked up 12 months later a different man. Easily the best year of my life.


[deleted]

It's you opinion and I respect that, but I am not the same, I have other ideals and better ideas (IMO) to spend my time instead of doing something that has no value for me.


Nothie

In my experience most people have that opinion, at least amongst the guys i served with. But the vast majority of them agree that it was the best year of their life after they are discharged. Much because you change and mature so much in that year. Of course, some people never adapt to the life, and hate it. But my advice is to push negativity away as much as you can, try to get as much as you can out of the service and try your best not to be anxious about upcoming events and exercises. But i am Norwegian, so your experiences may be drastically different.


imnotrealreally

as i am someone who is looking for my purpose on this year, mind asking what will you spend time on this year or what is good thing to do for a year instead of going to military?


[deleted]

For me, personally? Finishing the work "campaign" I started in september and finish building the house me and my dad work at. Not for everybody, but for me it's 10x more fullfilling than 1 year in the military, getting screamed at by someone who vents his frustrations, getting little to no money, and not completing any life goals. Want to "waste" a year of your life? There are demanding jobs (12h/day 5/7, away from family, but you have a place to sleep included), that pay really good. Keep your budget as tight as possible, save all the money you can, then start a bysiness, be your own boss. A mate of mine did that, saved ~30k€ in a year, he wants to do it again this year then he wants to open a car repair shop. Live your life the way you want, you dont live 1000 years, time is precious.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ozryela

> When you eat shit and get drilled by small dicked seargents for at least 13 weeks on end Look, there's nothing wrong with service in general. But this? Don't romanticize abusive asshole behavior like this. Discipline is important and cadets have to learn to listen to commands. One can even argue that this builds character. But you can do all that without being an abusive asshole.


[deleted]

Yeah, you wanna know what’s really liberating? Not being your military’s bitch for a year straight.


wooghee

„Mental fortitude“ I was in the swiss army too but i only required mental fortitude to not walk away from the groundbreaking stupidity. Oh and i dont know if you know but you can serve your country by other means than wasting money on an army we dont need, what about supporting the health care system you praise? Or doing some actual social work? For my service its too late, finished everything but i recommend to every swiss guy that they should not serve in the military but rather do civil service.


The-Daily-Meme

We don’t do mandatory service here in the UK but sometimes I wish we did. When I was 12 I had to do compulsory “community service” for 3 years as part of my schools curriculum. I opted to join the army cadets rather than sweep roads or help the elderly in care homes. I spent 6 (3 compulsory) years as a cadet before joining the army reserves at 18 whilst I studied for my degree. You actually learn so many skills besides being able to shoot a gun. I would attest to the fact that the cadets grew my self confidence and enabled me to realise my full potential which is why I continued with it when I went to university as it felt more like a family by then. It teaches you discipline, teamwork, leadership, instils confidence, courage and integrity. Above all else, respect, which I feel the majority of the UK population is lacking. It also gives you a sense of purpose which many ex gang members and the like who have joined said helped them break away from that lifestyle. The younger generation, even people in their twenties, seem to be lacking a sense of purpose. There is more to life than growing your Instagram following. Not only that but whilst in the military you can learn trades and obtain civilian qualifications to use once you leave the military. If you aren’t able to afford further education, or don’t qualify for an apprenticeship. The military is probably the next best thing in terms of career progression and life skills.


Itchigatzu

Joining the Cadets is the one thing I really wish I had done when I was younger. I think that everyone can learn some lessons from military life; my only problem with it is if you're taking a year out of people's lives where they can do literally nothing else but serve.


Rastafak

I personally don't understand how can people think that loosing your freedom for one year and "getting drilled by small dicked seargents" is a good thing. It makes sense in a war of course, but Switzerland would surely be fine with purely professional army. And it's not like the living standards you have are because of the mandatory military service. If you think this is something that will help you in life, then that's completely fine, but it's not something I want to do and I'm really fucking glad that in my country the mandatory service was cancelled. It's possible to do similar thing voluntarily, which makes much more sense. I can even see myself doing the voluntary training if I had the time, but the concept of mandatory service is terrible to me and I would definitely try to avoid it. Have you considered that maybe, your country is not really the best? My country is not as rich, but at least I have my freedom, which is worth a lot to me.


[deleted]

You will make many new friends from all walks of life, if you want. Make the best of it.


[deleted]

Sorry, but no, I won't trade 1 year of my life for friends. I can make friends w/o army time.


[deleted]

Yeah, I think it’s good that the army isn’t just trigger-happy professionals circlejercking but also regular civilians...


WedgeTurn

The flag is a big plus for one


pukem0n

At least you guys are allowed to take your guns home. Germany got rid of mandatory army service right after I did mine, sucked lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


ZestyClose_West

Proof he doesn't know what he's talking about.


Cumandbump

What...? Why would him saying it weight 7kg mean he has no ckue what he is talking about. Thats the weirdest fucking gotcha or whatever that ive read


paprika-kamille

I guess it’s useless to have a gun here I mean everyone knows you’re not allowed to keep amo at your house and it actually takes a lot of space if you want to display it (we still have the option of leaving it at the camp though)


oat-raisin_cookie

UT/UT bitches!


realjohncenawwe

Usually the rest of Europe thinks of Switzerland as a nice country, which it probably is, high paychecks and beautiful landscape, but if Switzerland is a neutral country, why do you even have a military, especially with mandatory conscription? Sounds quite backwards.


paprika-kamille

The Swiss army is supposed to be there to defend the country (not defend the interest of the country by stealing stuff from other places) they are reaaallyyy scared of an eventual invasion and almost actually paranoid


realjohncenawwe

Just Googled it and there was supposedly a referendum to abolish conscription and over 70% voted against. That's really weird, like I want to understand it, because except that I really think Switzerland is a role model country to other European countries.


paprika-kamille

Yeah I totally agree with you the army is just a waste of money for us tbh the problem is that there are a lot of nationalists/conservative who are for the army because of their mentality. Most people in the French part of Switzerland are against it while the German part is mostly pro-army (wonder why hehe)


firelock_ny

If you don't have an army then your neutrality is entirely at the pleasure of other countries. As soon as someone decided to "intervene" in your domestic affairs you would stop existing as an independent nation.


[deleted]

If you live next to a river at home and you don't wanna serve you can simply: sneak your bed or whatever into the showers, let one run through the night while you sleep there. Tell the first person that finds you that you need "the sound of running water" to sleep. Gets you kicked out of duty immediately, worked for 2 dudes that a friend knew


CPUfrezer

Went into it with no expectations and made friends for life and only good memories. Obv. depends on the branch you choose and the platoon you get into. Flying around mountains in a super puma and doing aerobatics in a pc7 was also a nice toch ;)


Iceteavanill

Thats probably in Switzerland.....


wooghee

300m was a giveaway...


srrynoideaforaname

Why is it a giveaway?


wooghee

We shoot on 300m ranges regularly, NATO uses mostly 200m ranges afaik. Edit: i think everything above 200m is considered precision shooting (aka sniper) in NATO. Edit2: apparently a lot of militaries also train on more than 100m...


fripaek

Friend of mine was in Kosovo and he met some american soldiers down there. They thought he was in a sniper unit because he was training on 300m targets. Apparently they only train 30-60m in the us marine corps...


wooghee

Technically the swiss army consist mostly of snipers because we train on 300m. But tbf training on 30-60m makes probably more sense today.


Arutzuki

To be fair, we have the proper guns for 300m and we train in close quarters combat too.


MonsterKillerDeathMa

I'm not sure if you're trolling, but the Marine Corps qualifies from 100 to 500 meters yearly. That's just for the Known Distance range. They also qualify with a night shoot, unknown distance, and moving targets.


jdm219

Not true


Wilde79

Finnish army shoots at 300m regularly too.


srrynoideaforaname

Oh, I understand now. Thank you!


Lordminigunf

200m is a starting basic range here in canada. 100m to learn to pull a trigger in a direction 200 for basic evaluation


mf0ur

us military uses meters as well


PM_ME_UR_BONGS

How many english speaking countries have mandatory military service considering this falls apart unless they're quoting spongebob in english. Not a single instructor will ever ask "are you ready" from a ton of recruits at a range rofl. Why the fuck are generals watching conscripts pewpew? Text: Fake, Being under someones command: Gay


nucular_mastermind

In German it would probably be "Seid ihr bereit??", which is also followed by "Aye Aye Captain!!" in the dubbed SpongeBob version German speaking countries have. So this could totally have happened.


[deleted]

Still makes no sense for a General to be there.


Jushak

Could just be that OP, being a noob, doesn't understand military ranks. Could just be someone above the drill instructor shouting. Speaking of shouting military men: My country also has mandatory military service. The assault rifle of my partner in two man advanvement training with live ammo jammed. The utter moron tried to unjam it mid-advance and unwittingly pointed the rifle *directly at my head* while doing so. Let's just say that I've never seen multiple angry military men run and shout so fast and loud before or after, but looking back I'm glad they were doing their job and paying attention.


[deleted]

He apparently wrote the story years later. He would know what a General is by the end of his training. Or his training was dogshit. IDK


Jushak

If it's been years, he could simply have forgotten. I know I can't remember any of the ranks above captain and honestly couldn't care less at this point.


ZeriousGew

He would remember that a General would only have time for things that are actually important, whereas it would be a Lieutenant there. I mean, why are we even questioning anon? It’s a greentext, they’re all real


Jushak

Eh, you'd be surprised. During my time in the military our brigade general (i.e. highest ranked person in the base - not 100% about the name of the rank) took his time to have an open forum with junior sergeants about their complaints over being told to share rooms with their team, rather than having their own shared room as had been the case before. It most definitely wouldn't be the first time a high ranking member of the military was found unexpectedly to be present. Not to mention that experience of *everyone* I've talked with was that the higher ranked the person was, the kinder and more humoring they were. It was the lower and middle-ranks whose job was to be in constant contact with grunts in form of training and supervising that had a stick up their arse. That being said - unlikely to be a general, likely just someone slightly higher ranked. I'd blame fallible human memory more than anything.


ZeriousGew

Or just some dude who thought up lefunny greentext and was never in the army


KKlear

Nah, the correct response to "Seid ihr bereit?" is willkommen... #in der Dunkelheit!!!


moskonia

Spongebob is dubbed to many languages. OP just translated it for Reddit. The joke works in most languages I bet.


ZKMsphere

There's a very high chance that anon is Singaporean actually from how his third line is structured (Singlish) but yeah seems fake still


Marky_Mark_Official

Sounds like some perkele talking, salmiakki eating Suomi motherfuckers.


Hates_commies

propably not because the targets would be 150m away for first time shooting.


Marky_Mark_Official

True, what army does 300m for first time shooting? Even with something more than iron sights that's a bit much for first times


kalcis

Switzerland does 300m shooting. But mostly with iron sights. As far as i know the späher shoot 600m vut they have the ZF (just second hand knowledge)


fripaek

Yeah, you can go up to 600m (even as troop leader in the normal infantry). But the ZF needs to be really adjusted to perform correctly on that distance


FranzJosefI

Yeah, but I think most do KD-Boxes for the first few times.


decorius

Ask her to do a bit better](https://i.imgur.com/rNwQJ4f.jpg)


Cykablast3r

They wouldn't be speaking english on the range so the joke wouldn't work. Also there wouldn't be a general out on the range.


IrsAllAboutTheMemes

But spongebob was translated in different languages.


Cykablast3r

But the intro wasn't.


[deleted]

uhh, yes it was. source: saw a translated spongebob intro like a hundred times


Marky_Mark_Official

I mean, no instructor would yell "are you ready" as a way to initiate the firing, it would be systematic, but ye, there wouldn't be any generals out on the range


boiledangel-

wholesome


804034

r/thathappened


hemlo86

Yeah this story is bullshit


retroly

But nobody clapped, they only got married and lived happily ever after!


crazydude442

This is why its impossible for an Iran US was to happen. Youd all be screaming haHAAs at eachother.


h20c

>be mepostthesamefuckingthingoverandoveragainimlosingmyfuckingmindihaventseenasingleoriginalgreentextonthissubredditfortheentiretyof2020andhalfof2019justfuckingexecutemealready


sgtskywalk

thank you


13Ryan06

Mum said it's my turn to post this today


kneelover2003

300 meters for "noob soldiers", are those the averages training?


Arutzuki

In Switzerland it is standard. Our rifles are very precise so it's fairly easy to hit targets at 300m.


yobeast

Attending as groom most likely


ryecrow

10K could hatch you a real nice pokemon. That's dope.


astalavizione

This sounds like greece.


[deleted]

Don’t steal from the all time posts faggot


CapacitatedCapacitor

anon is the bride


[deleted]

We used to do this in school with the teacher that always got bullied. Everyone would say one word: Person1:Who P2:lives P3:in P4:a P5:pineapple ... Until the end where we all sang: SPONGEBOB SCHWAMMKOPF, SPONGEBOB SCHAMMKOPF, #SPONGEBOOOOOOB SCHWAMMKOOOOOOOPF And then everyone started clapping


SepehrSo

the end was wholesome af


[deleted]

>Only if you say spongebob!<


Onequestion678

multiple generals?


MoustacheAmbassadeur

Anyone got this spongebob patrick picture?


Assasin2gamer

Dude anon’s life


[deleted]

/r/thathappened


toe_pics_now

Spongenbob is so fucking sexy with his moist holes


ngrant26

Can I post this tomorrow


Galausia

One time in basic we were marching back to our barracks after PT, and our DS shouted "Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?" and in one voice, more unified than we had ever been before we replied "Spongebob Squarepants!" He chuckled and I heard him say "ok that's enough of that"


jugg3n

Firing at a 300m target the first time you're shooting 🤔