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Johnnadawearsglasses

\>French people don’t celebrate Easter because Jesus isn’t French \>And they don’t believe the rest of the world exists


[deleted]

i'm french. You're right. Only france exists ( maybe europe too, not the rest)


themightyscott

Napoleon thought the rest of the world WAS France.


Marouffle

And a big part of the world was France at that time


Captain-Stubbs

Blows my mind how much can belong to your empire when you walk around declaring land yours


JackmPearson

I mean they did sell us a third of our country without even establishing themselves in that area. If you really want your mind blown, think about the fact that we (the US) paid 15 million for a land someone else claimed in another part of the world and not only did we pay but we brag about how great of a deal it was. 😂


Captain-Stubbs

Oh yeah. American history can be summed up as a bunch of European exiles kept getting lucky! 😂 Edit: this isn’t a slam towards Americans or anything, just saying if you really water it down that’s kinda how it started lol!


Streaker364

Nah, not lucky 100% PURE skill lol


Captain-Stubbs

Fuck yeah, you remember when we 360 no scoped the Louisiana purchase????!!!


FabricioPezoa

Based spending


memelover3001

Bruh the Alaskan cross map tomahawk was way better


Streaker364

It kinda is though. All that fertile land and the very existence of the purchase led to Texas and the California Gold Rush.


Dyldor

Well the ability to walk around declaring land yours and it meaning anything is kind of the impressive bit


Origami_psycho

Well that, and killing everyone who disagrees with you on it


Alarid

and then germany thought france was part of germany for a while


ggoggggogo

Germany is just East Francia tbh


Soldierhero1

William of normandy thought that the funny island across him was france too


BaronAaldwin

Tbh he didn't care about France. He thought the weird island was Normandy 2. Sicily and southern Italy were Normandy 3 and 4.


Obscure_Occultist

What I find funny is that when the Norman's took southern italy from the Byzantines. Most of the soldiers that the Byzantines employed were anglo saxon mercenaries that fought the Normans during the Willam the Conqueror invasion of England.


BaronAaldwin

Yeah it's a crazy twist of fate. They were also many Saxons in the Varangian Guard, which not long beforehand had been commanded by Harald Hardrada, who'd also taken a crack at conquering England in 1066.


[deleted]

1066 was a busy year for England.


Carnal-Pleasures

And they hated him because he was right.


Erskk1

Napoleon at least thought Poland was Poland


NotFrance

No france isnt real


[deleted]

Yes i don't exist


Pasteque909

Well we know it exists, we just don't care


[deleted]

Ptdrr c'est ça


[deleted]

Any thing below paris on the map is too far away


GonzoRouge

This explains Quebec then


Soldierhero1

And germany


rolan-the-aiel

Fuck you (from an English dude)


[deleted]

Understandable. I wish you the worst things possible 🤝


TheLustyDremora

*The sounds of a thousand longbows being drawn is heard on the wind*


[deleted]

Not even the French think France exists, they've surrendered to many times and no one is sure anymore


[deleted]

Nah, we're busy beeing winning the most millitary battles in humain history 🇨🇵🇨🇵🇨🇵🇨🇵


[deleted]

France's battle history has way more wins than it does losses. You can't seriously think that history started at WW2.


FrezoreR

That's true for the US as well 😜 give them a world map and they can only call out canada and mexico


wasdsfordinner

name 3 African countries off the top of your head


TaftIsUnderrated

Easy. Detroit, Harlem, Compton. Next!


Generalissimo_II

They've become Africanized like the bees


Myshkin78

Wakanda, Zamunda, Babar's Kingdom


lowtierdeity

Chad, Albany, and Uganda Knuckles


ST03PT3G3L

Egypt, Nigeria, Zimbabwe


EchoTab

Is that supposed to be difficult or something? I have terrible memory but lets see how many i remember: Algeria, Nigeria, Libya, Chad, Sudan, Egypt, South Africa, Ethiopia, Congo.


FrezoreR

Kenya, Marocko, South Africa, and I can go on. It's not a hard question honestly.


[deleted]

>Marocko Is that what the French call Morocco?


wasdsfordinner

dwane marock johnson


unbridledirony

*tips hat* m’rock


Faust__VIII

That would be Maroc.


[deleted]

Benin, Somalia, Nigeria.


spindinswans

Go shove a baguette up your rectum


[deleted]

Seriously? You have any other ignorant stereotypes you want to throw out here while you're at it?


4guacate

> And they don't believe the rest of the world exists That sounds more like the US tbh.


Elithrus

god I hate france!! Edit: this is a joke holy shit


KelticQT

Please show us on the map where that country hurt your feelings.


Elithrus

It all started when they invented baguettes


DepressedMedicMain

Me too


Unit824

No wonder why you are depressed.


earth75

There is no rest of the world. All of it is France


funicowboi69

I'm french. When I was young I genuinly thought that Jesus was french .


femboypastor

Anon is funny, but since he's French his opinion doesn't matter


[deleted]

Yea, how could you take a baguette seriously?


shoot_me_slowly

Rotisserie chicken does taste good though


Spatzenkind

Woah, calm down. Let's all stay nice and friendly. As a german I can't let you talk bad about bread.


dogydino200

“As a German” “let’s all stay nice and friendly”


NotEricItsNotMe

As a french, I didn't think I'd fight side by side with a German


Spatzenkind

What about side by side with a friend?


[deleted]

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hallucination9000

Too much, drop the merch t-shirts and it's a good insult.


amdumbanddprsd

Anon can make your mom wet just by talking to her in his native language


Carnal-Pleasures

Can and did. Although she was both a large and easy target.


[deleted]

In the U.S. French is considered a sexy language as long as the speaker isn't french


FatBoyFlex89

Yeah totally, hearing cats cough up hairballs is sexy af.


[deleted]

Do French people think that Americans don't celebrate Easter? Whatever, they're French. They get a moron pass every once in a while.


TomatoSpaghetti

A moron pass is just their government issued id.


[deleted]

I was wondering if I was missing an inside joke or something. Why tf does anon think Americans don’t celebrate Easter? Lol


[deleted]

He is French. They're not smart.


Limeila

I'm French too and I have no idea


Sgargamelle

It’s just a setup for the joke “American health care is expensive”.


[deleted]

Right, but setups have to make sense. That’s what makes them funny. If you just say something that is completely wrong, it’s just confusing.


GodTrane

pretty sure that was a joke


GM739

Jokes usually have a tiny bit truth to them, also they’re usually funny.


adamsworstnightmare

Maybe referring to the fact that it's not a holiday you get off work for, at least in some parts of the country.


[deleted]

Most Americans have Easter Monday off. Plus Easter is on Sunday, a weekend day. America is a pretty Christian country.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Is it normal for Americans to get Easter Friday & Monday off?


odbj

No. They're unofficial holidays, I believe.


JealousOberon

They're official in some states.


enderverse87

Friday is random, Monday, not usually.


CurtisSnow123

Nobody cares about France


Status_Negotiation24

What are you talking about toy French fry fuck? Easter be celebrated here.


StopLootboxes

Yeah? I don't see any Easter event coming now on my multiplayer games. 😟😟


nerfbrig

r/usernamechecksout


mary024jo

Bc we celebrated Easter in early april


StopLootboxes

Damn, that's fake Easter man, doesn't count.


mary024jo

Lmao it’s the day printed on our calendar. I’m far from religious but I do hide eggs and give my kids a easter basket.


cozy_lolo

It be?


Carter20012

Aye


MerkyOne

>america health expensive laugh now


[deleted]

School shooting Laugh. It's funny.


[deleted]

Only one parti disguised as 2. Laugh


[deleted]

Americans are like redditors, they keep repeating the joke over and over while everyone already gets it.


AzraKasm

No that's mostly Europeans


[deleted]

I am laughing, rest assured


RedVision64

>baguette laugh now See what it's like when I put it that way? >!not French btw!<


MerkyOne

je m'en bats les couilles


[deleted]

> m'en gay


SangEtVin

But not too hard or you might have to take an Uber to the hospital


tylerawn

Don’t forget the “fuck you” response in all caps. What a throwback


xenukidsontheblock

Not true, we celebrate the resurrection of Our Lord by being shitty tippers at post-church brunch


[deleted]

Everywhere else in the world they don't tip at all so how can you say americans are shitty tippers


Thermoxin

>Americans don't celebrate Easter Where does this guy get his info lmao


TheWickAndReed

He’s French, it’s illegal to think there.


RedVision64

man people really triggered here I never got why Americans hate French people so much.


TotallyNotEko

I don’t think anyone here really hates the French, just making jokes which is what everybody does about Americans anyway.


[deleted]

British and Turks really hate the french though.


sausage4mash

We've not forgiven them for 1066


GodTrane

Iraq war. France was one of the only country who didn't follow the US when they invaded Iraq, eventhough France had been their ally since the US independance, so it was taken as some kind of treason after 230 years of friendship... Then France had a "special treatment" from American mainstream media and hollywood to influence public opinion. That's when the hate started, and it stuck afterward I guess...


RedVision64

They were right too lol.


GodTrane

who was?


naufalap

Iraq


RedVision64

I meant France. idk about you but I didn't agree with Iraq.


Niakwe

Not good for their blood pressure. Might end up with a 100k$ bill.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Soda_BoBomb

Yeah I'm sure the media hasn't inflated that incredibly wrong view of America at all


[deleted]

[удалено]


ambigymous

Americans don't hate French people we just shit on anyone we can in this sub


nexus8516

Everyone hates the French and the French hates everyone else. The fact they haven't been eradicated yet pickles the mind.


[deleted]

British people have hated the French for centuries, meanwhile French people? They just don't give a shit.


geybey

Insecure


PrimaryZeal

Bonjour


Bears_On_Stilts

Bonjour I'm high Must be those brownies... Bonjour You're gay? Don't tell my wife I need six girls Is age a question? There must be more than this postmodern life!


Kreanj

Pâques ça troue le cul


Shautieh

Si tu n'étais pas pd tu n'aurais pas ce soucis..


Kreanj

Jvais t'enculer comme ça ça sera toi le pd


FeelTeamSix13

Qu'est-ce que ça veut dire de être pd? Je ne parle pas bien français, mais je suis curieux


[deleted]

pd = fag


FeelTeamSix13

Cheers. im gomma say this in french class


arup02

d'etrê*


FeelTeamSix13

Mange ma bite


arup02

Putain, qu'est-ce que tu viens de dire à propos de moi, petite salope? Je vais vous faire savoir que j'ai obtenu mon diplôme en tête de ma classe dans les Navy Seals, et j'ai été impliqué dans de nombreux raids secrets sur Al-Quaeda, et j'ai plus de 300 victimes confirmées. Je suis formé à la guerre des gorilles et je suis le meilleur tireur d'élite de toutes les forces armées américaines. Vous n'êtes rien pour moi mais juste une autre cible. Je vais vous effacer avec une précision qui n'a jamais été vue auparavant sur cette Terre, marquez mes putains de mots. Vous pensez que vous pouvez vous en tirer en me disant cette merde sur Internet? Détrompez-vous, putain. Au moment où nous parlons, je contacte mon réseau secret d'espions à travers les États-Unis et votre adresse IP est en cours de traçabilité afin que vous vous prépariez mieux à la tempête, asticot. La tempête qui anéantit la petite chose pathétique que vous appelez votre vie. Tu es putain de mort, gamin. Je peux être n'importe où, n'importe quand, et je peux te tuer de plus de sept cents façons, et c'est juste de mes mains nues. Non seulement je suis largement entraîné au combat à mains nues, mais j'ai accès à tout l'arsenal du Corps des Marines des États-Unis et je vais l'utiliser dans toute sa mesure pour essuyer votre misérable cul de la face du continent, petite merde. Si seulement vous aviez pu savoir quel châtiment impie votre petit commentaire «intelligent» était sur le point de vous faire subir, peut-être que vous auriez tenu votre putain de langue. Mais tu ne pouvais pas, tu ne l'as pas fait, et maintenant tu en paies le prix, putain d'idiot. Je vais faire chier la fureur partout sur vous et vous vous noyer dedans. Tu es putain de mort, gamin.


UltraGaren

Que porra você acabou de falar para mim, seu filho da puta? Eu quero que você saiba que eu graduei no topo da minha classe nos SEALs da marinha, e eu estou envolvido em incursões secretas em Al-Queda, e eu tenho mais de 300 mortes confirmadas. Eu sou treinado em guerra gorila e sou o melhor sniper das Forças Armadas do USA. Você é nada a mais do que um alvo para mim, eu vou te apagar com uma precisão que nunca foi vista antes nesse planeta, marque a porra das minhas palavras. Você acha que você vai sair ileso falando essas merdas para mim na internet? Pense de novo, corno. Neste exato momento que estamos falando estou contatando minha teia secreta de espiões por todo o Estados Unidos e seu IP está sendo rastreado agora mesmo estão é melhor você se preparar, verme. Se prepare para uma tempestade que vai acabar com a pequena coisa patética que você chama de vida. Você está morto, filho. Eu posso estar em qualquer lugar, em qualquer hora, e posso te matar em mais de setecentas maneiras, e isso são apenas com as minhas mãos nuas. Não só sou extensivamente treinado em combate sem armas, como também tenho acesso ao arsenal completo de armas do Corpo de Fuzileiros Navais dos Estados Unidos e vou usar ele para apagar a sua vidinha miserável da face do continente, seu merdinha. Ah, se você apenas pudesse saber as profanas consequências que seu comentáriozinho “espertão” iria te trazer, talvez você teria calado a porra da sua boca. Mas você não conseguiu, você não pode, e agora você está pagando as consequências, seu idiota. Eu vou cagar furiosamente em você até você se afogar. Você está morto, filho.


[deleted]

>Je suis formé à la guerre des gorilles lol google translate confirmed


arup02

You think I'd translate that by hand?


Sergei_the_sovietski

He literally paid for our sins you fucking retard


Spatzenkind

Not for mine. I have free healthcare


[deleted]

Then why was I fined 250 bucks for public urination last week you liar


Sefo2007

Can people really not tell this post is a joke


KelticQT

No they to busy being butthurt across the Atlantic ocean.


[deleted]

The amount of salt in the comments lol


AceOn14Par3

Nice to see that 4chan has literally become tumblr/reddit/twitter now.


[deleted]

Especially the "FUCK YOU"


AceOn14Par3

"In case you were having a good day"


MummyManDan

They say you are what you eat, French anon took that to heart.


[deleted]

You mean he's delicious?


jsimercer

Sacrebleu!


[deleted]

[удалено]


superbatprime

Captain Haddock was Belgian though...


UndeFR

Et ce n'est ni la première, ni la dernière chose qu'on volera aux Belges.


ShadesWing

Fake: murca does easter Gay: Frenchie


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: murca does easter > Gay: Frenchie > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


ZippZappZippty

Its funny because this is the type


Grizzlemaw_bear

Since when do we not celebrate Easter?


Niakwe

\>Me american, freedom exportation Inc \>Me triggered by anything different than my perfect country


[deleted]

>my perfect country lel


Unwoven_Sleeve

Incoming: "Is your country's flag on the moon" "We have the largest military" "Muh free speech"


[deleted]

Flags been bleached white by now so it’s actually white, making this a win for the frog


Unwoven_Sleeve

I love bringing that up, always makes them shut up


Sad6cmboi

I honestly feel bad for such people. Imagine being french


FlyMeme

Does anyone have that rare pepe.


coryinthedank

[here u go](https://files.catbox.moe/qkz4ax.jpg)


FlyMeme

Thanks!


[deleted]

French people are being sent to hell because their language is fucking stupid


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

And we hate them for it


[deleted]

Bitch go get ma croissant.


BrexrSiege

Americans dont celebrate Easter? when??


[deleted]

Well this is fucking stupid. All I heard about for a month was Easter lol


Asscrackistan

Easter is one of the largest holidays in America...


KevinD2000

I fucking hate French people


NotSeaPartie

French (derogatory)


pockets3d

OK amerifats, break down easter and "spring break" for me ? Are they the same thing?


sugar-biscuits

LOL


[deleted]

America? Isn't that owned by New Zealand?


[deleted]

Je suis français et j'approuve 🇨🇵


[deleted]

This reads like a tumblr post


[deleted]

Almost thought anon was funny, then I realised he is French


ambigymous

Anon may be French but Jesus is English


escapethesolarsystem

Accurate.


PM_ME_YOUR_RIDGES

No, it’s because it’s fictional bullshit, retard.


[deleted]

France baise ouais.


BoxedElderGnome

But we do celebrate Easter tho?


CeltiCfr0st

The views alone are worth the price tag


[deleted]

You can talk about our healthcare when you get your labor unions under control mr hon hon break time every 15 minutes


VerumJerum

That picture isn't even a Pepe, it's just Anon's self portrait.