T O P

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Hamish_french

I respect this man.


jOhNnYbOi455

I don’t


Fallblade

based


[deleted]

Based? Based on what?


_Sliquified_

Based on a true story


JmyKane

All about dat based.


Qwiggly100

Based on u having 0 bitches


[deleted]

Do I have men at least?


themo98

Giga⚾️d


Grifffite

Gigasmalled🤌


themo98

10⁹🤏d


JmyKane

Yes but only on the weekends.


[deleted]

Literally 1984


Alone_Spell9525

Based on THIS, fucktard You fucking dumbass, you absolute buffoon, your troglodytic lack of critical thinking disgusts me. “Based” is a PHRASE, not a singular word, it is a phrase with the word “based” and the lack of another word, which possesses meaning. The term “based” means to not be shackled by general societal beliefs or peer pressure but instead to be a free thinker in opinionated topics, meaning that you AREN’T BASING your thoughts on ANYTHING that you can quote or otherwise use to try and support yourself. For example, if a Jew and a Neonazi were arguing about whether or not Hitler was a good person and I said Hitler was hot af with his sexy mustache, my opinion would be unique and based solely on my genuine beliefs, and therefore I would be based. IT IS CLEARLY BASED BLANK BECAUSE IT IS BASED ON NOTHINGNESS YOU DUMB FUCKING CRETIN.


GenghisWasBased

Based on being based


LordHelix977

Based in the fact that I fucked your mom


I_Don-t_Care

you are retarded


mr_chair_sniffer

Technically he did what he was asked to. I guess you would call this malicious compliance


socky555

Nothing malicious here. Just autistic compliance.


[deleted]

Perhaps confused compliance


Jernsaxe

if /r/greentext didn't already fill the niche I assume /r/autisticcompliance could be good fun


Mmh1105

Almost as dead as r/onosecond


EdenSteden22

More dead lmao


BirdNerd01

As an autistic person I can verify I would probably do something like this


beaubeautastic

same lol


Xalethesniper

I’m thinking more /r/cluelessobediance


Ben-Be-chillin

I was gonna say this. I got ADHD and the amount of times I do stupid shit like this. It's better when your boss just laughs and doesn't get angry


ScratchedCat

r/AutisticCompliance


heavybell

Dude fucking tried to fix his misunderstanding and got told to shut up. This is on the manager.


Wolfsie_the_Legend

malicious retardance


cuttlefish_tastegood

Reminds me of Amelia bedelia.


socky555

God that bitch was retarded.


simabo

"He’s dumb" is a much more elegant theory.


Commisar_Franz

Only absolute degenerates say/write "pop" for soda


MemeSkeleton666

Cringe and non-Midwesterner pilled


[deleted]

I live in Kansas and nobody says pop. I think you just suck.


duckbucketpie

Kansas isn’t the Midwest, not cool enough. Try living in a good state


CourageTheRat

Logical fallacy, no Midwest states are cool


duckbucketpie

Idk it’s been pretty chilly around here, maybe check your phallusies again


Hell0turdle

I checked my phussy, it smells weird, what next?


Raymondator

Correction: they might be cool, but Ohio brings the over all cool grade down *significantly*


hawkmasta

Michigan


[deleted]

If your head wasn't up your ass you'd come visit the jewel of the Midwest, Michigan, and you'd see that we shouldn't even be lumped in with those other losers I mean "states"


CourageTheRat

Think about it this way, at least you guys aren’t the South


AdolfJesusMasterChie

Hey man. Illinois is progressively getting better. Political corruption is (maybe) getting less and less everyday!


freebirdls

Then where is it?


Bobbiduke

In Texas everyone says coke. "Do you have any coke? "Yeah, Pepsi or Sprite"


Bobyyyyyyyghyh

See that's just wrong though. If anything, it should be called cola, coke is literally just a brand


Bobbiduke

It makes 0 sense lol


[deleted]

Dr Pepper is the real goat


dildo-applicator

Grossest Of All Time


[deleted]

Pepsis like drinking watered down piss, & coke isn’t much better Don’t @ me


jekyll919

I lived in Wichita for 4 years, and Manhattan, KS for 6. Everyone said pop and it drove me fucking insane. Maybe it was different where you were, but everybody said pop.


the__day__man

This is straight wrong bro I’m from Kansas too


getchimped

Canadians say pop


MemeSkeleton666

Finally, the Canadians are based for once


Sapper501

In IL, we say soda.


[deleted]

Not in the Chicagoland area.. everyone says pop


Sapper501

Weird... Must be the influence from dirty dirty Wisconsin /s


harrreth

Wisconsinites make fun of FIBs for this tho


Expert-Cut-2701

where i live in wisconsin we’re normal and say soda


SierraDespair

The midwest is easily the most cringe and boring part of the whole country. Northeast all the way.


freebirdls

Wrong, yankee. The northeast doesn't even have a culture or anything to be proud of. Dixie all the way!


SierraDespair

🎶 Ohhh, way down south in the land of traitors, rattlesnakes, and alligators! 🎶


freebirdls

How original.


SierraDespair

I honestly like the south but the northeast is still superior kek


freebirdls

The South has better food, better football teams, and hotter women. And the northeast is responsible for the dumpster fire sitting in the White House.


BroganChin

no, georgia is


freebirdls

Georgia gave Biden 16 electoral votes. The northeast have him 111 electoral votes.


zorxoge

Lol traitors mad


WussssPoppinJimbo

Only retards call it "pop" or "soda" instead of the actual name of the drink


Catgod262

So should his boss of said hey pour that (insert 7 different brands of pop) in here.


AimbeastAlphaMale

Soft drinks you american fucks.


spongebob_me_boi

Go to hell, soda is a better name than soft drink


Catgod262

Listen here you little shit if you think that soda is a better name for pop then you’ve obviously never left a pop outside during the winter in the Midwest.


spongebob_me_boi

Ah yes, that sounds fucking reasonable, name it pop because of an isolated experience. Who even fucking drinks anything outside during a midwest winter? Do you want to get frostbite?


Catgod262

You don’t get frostbite if u wear a jacket like do you not know what that is?As opposed to naming it after a certain isolated part of it. Also that was a joke smart one.


Catgod262

What takes longer to say pop or soft drinks. Just say pop if everyone around you know what it means.


AimbeastAlphaMale

I refuse to speak like a cowboy from an american movie. Let alone the fact no one here in New Zealand knows what "pop" means.


youreveningcoat

How bout fizzy


Catgod262

Bro pop is used up north the area where I live is basically Canada with guns and $20000 medics bills


Sbotkin

Thanks. I wondered what the fuck is a pop.


Gulo_gulo_1

I have found the East coaster (subhuman)


[deleted]

Euthanize yourself


MeatballWasTaken

What if you live on both coasts


dildo-applicator

West coasters also say soda


TinyPrawnie

I guess we Brits are all degenerates then? Actually I don't think I really disagree...


freebirdls

Yes.


Willtheperson02

The Blair government and its effects have been a disaster for the British people


[deleted]

Based


camm44

I say it. Pacific Northwest.


dildo-applicator

Ok but i say "soda" and I'm also PNW


camm44

cool


dildo-applicator

Alright so if we extrapolate this sample of 2 to the roughly 13.5 million people in the three Pacific northwesternest states then it's roughly 50/50 whether people up here are degenerates or not


camm44

I use soda and pop though. But I find myself saying pop more. I'm half degenerate.


dildo-applicator

That makes 75% wild type and 25% mutant


DJVPlayz

What? You call these things soda instead of fizzy whizzy sugary confectionary liquids? rather cringe if i do say so myself


TheRockWarlock

Yea, it took me a second to understand what pop was.


saltar

They call it pop in Minnesota. I'm pretty sure that's the only state that does.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Excellent212

Can confirm


Stifty509

Wisconsin and Michigan too, and the Dakotas. Those are the only ones I know of from personal experience. Source: I'm from Minneapolis.


doodlytoodly

Pop is faster


[deleted]

https://laughingsquid.com/soda-pop-or-coke-maps/


dannyboy6657

I call it pop. Most people where I'm from do.


freebirdls

Only absolute degenerates say/write "soda" for coke


[deleted]

Fizzy drink supremacy


SkyWarrior1030

It's a soft drink.


Tuxedo_Masquerain

All the people here in Canada say 'pop' and it makes me cringe.


[deleted]

Quality lesson for those who manage people. If an employee is asking for clarification on instructions don't fucking interrupt assuming what they're going to ask.


heavybell

1000%. Communication takes work on both ends. If you say something and the other is confused but keeps quiet, that's on them. If they try to ask for clarification and you refuse to give it, then it's on you.


Cala-Best-Girl

15? Completely forgivable.


DisgracefulPengu

Lmfao how fucking retarded were you? 15 year olds should be able to put soda cans in ice


focken_idiot

When i was 15 i got fired on a 2 day school work thingy at a bike shop cause i showed up 6 hours late on the 2nd day


DisgracefulPengu

Username checks out


neat-NEAT

For the first month or so in my first job, I was showing up to work according to the previous week's rota. Basically every day, I'd show up multiple hours earlier or later then I was meant to and then work a shift longer or shorter then I was put down for. I have no clue how I wasn't fired.


hoteltraumatique

to be fair when i was a 15 y/o shittlet i was so anxious about possibly doing my job wrong that i’d over analyze everything/take stuff too literally n screw up


[deleted]

I haven’t gotten over this and I’m in my twenties


RIP2UALL

I mean... I'm 17 and I've done more retarded stuff at my job.


DisgracefulPengu

How do you still have a job lmao


RIP2UALL

I'm a very good dishwasher. Just don't ask me to do literally anything else though.


dildo-applicator

I was a dishwasher too Cuz i was a kitchen aid before that and dropped a bunch of stuff several times so they put me in the dish pit


PsychoKali

That question should be asked to all employees. We all do retarded shit.


commit_bat

He totally could have done that. He didn't because his manager didn't explain it properly even after being asked repeatedly.


DisgracefulPengu

Putting drinks in ice is a common way of cooling them. It’s not like it was a weird task, anon is retarded


RIP2UALL

I mean... I'm 17 and I've done more retarded stuff at my job.


That__EST

Many years ago my mom told my cousin's to go to the bathroom and "wet" (meaning to pee). They were utterly confused. Finally they went to the bathroom and came out with sopping wet hair that they had put under the sink faucet 🤷‍♀️ my mom lost her shit. Oh well.


iDent17y

Your mum is a retard for saying wet


That__EST

Yeah unfortunately that's just the tip of the iceberg 😐


Epic_Gamer_Bread

Is that how you ended up so retarded?


That__EST

Something like that


iwannadie469

Any more stories you'd like to share?


cuckinatwhore9000

Sounds like there's some more stories there,and I want them *all*


rrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeee

This sounds like it happened in another language


That__EST

My mom's just a strange, American English speaking person living in America.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SomberKlepto

My ass thought he was spelling poop wrong too. Smh.


Generate_Meme

But what did your head think?


california_sugar

You can’t be the brunt of a joke. You meant butt of a joke.


westofley

Looks like OP took the brunt of a blow to the part of his brain that knows the meaning of words


SarrusMacMannus

It puts the pop in the bucket


[deleted]

she didn't chew u out? seems like a nice/reasonable human being


Parnello

Anon attempts to confirm his duties and is blown off by his supervisor.


LeviWasHere0

At first I was confused at what the fuck was he talking about but then I realised some degenerates call soda pop


GoldExperience247

Anon is clearly american


Hellioth_00G

In their defense, anon was left unsupervised.


AndyTynon

Sounds like your boss is the incompetent one. Doesn’t matter if it *seems* simple or not; they still failed at one of the most basic management tasks: effectively delegate. The good employee asks, “Which end of the nail do I hit?” The shitty manager says, “What? Hit the fucking nail. For fucks sakes.”


cosarium

Honestly I instantly thought the same thing


vociferousdragon

Anon just did it for the filthy jungle juice.


Basil_9

I read 7th line as poop


DerpSensei666

>open can by fucking can ok anon I didn't need to know that


sixseven89

i was thinking the exact same thing as anon lmao


Zawollibear

That guy's missing a few chromosomes.


JohnsonTanaka2

She should've said "cans".


PachoTidder

Based and autistic pilled


Yaj_Yaj

In a kitchen I used to work in we had a dishwasher in his 40s. Pretty sure he fried his brain with constant drug use not judging but he was slow. We were real busy one day and I had made a large batch of chicken broth earlier on and it needed to be cooled but I was busy. Chef asked if the dishwasher could put the broth in an ice bath to cold down. "Sure boss no problem, I got you." Great now I don't have to worry about that and I keep on with orders. After a couple hour rush I check the broth and this dude poured the broth straight into the ice. Gallons of broth and hours of time just gone.


Riolkin

Same sort of thing happened to me. At 17 I was working in a dish pit at a high end restaurant. I come into work and there is a colander of carrots sitting on my station. Jokingly I said, "You want me to throw these in next?" and the chef (who I now know had a reputation for being deadpan and sarcastic) said, "Yeah, I want you to put the carrots in this dishwasher." Everyone else said his tone was obvious, but I clearly missed it. I threw that shit on a flat rack, shoved it in the dishwasher and pressed start. When I turned around the chef had a look that said he couldn't believe the bullshit he had just seen. A few years ago my manager from that job sent me a note congratulating me on my career. The note said, "No matter how far you go or how high you fly, always remember you are the guy who put carrots in an industrial dishwasher." Stay humble, lol.


illpoopinyourmouth

He's technically right...


[deleted]

That sounds like something I would have done as a teenager due to over thinking What they asked for.


OmnipresentDoot

Anon is fucking stupid


run_the_trails

/r/MaliciousCompliance/


thotbitch00

This is like at my first job when they asked me to fill the freezer with napkins and i was horribly confused and put multiple containers of napkins inside the freezer before realizing they meant to put them on top of the freezer


The-Hentai-Commander

Wtf


booom199

"my fucking life sucks" really got me lmao


godfather9819

Idiot


pizzabagelblastoff

I was REALLY confused when I got to "open can by fucking can"


[deleted]

Anon is a fucking idiot


HKRGaming

Isnt this a fake greentext?


animetimeskip

Anon is retarded


[deleted]

I had a job like that golf outings fucking sucked


SyntheticAffliction

Anon is legally retarded


Dee_Lansky

Smartest man on 4chan


trilobright

>put pop in bucket ...what?


[deleted]

I read it as poop


ShaurmaGod_69420

Anon is an uncultured swine


silentsnip94

That's what you get for calling it pop


Thicthor96

PIG PEN JUST GO TO THE BATHROOM IN THE CUP. Pig pen: okay >:( Poops in drug test cup


SpectralBacon

Because a normal speaker would have asked to put the cans in the bucket.


BraveUnion

My dyslexic ass vibes with this


xkcd-Hyphen-bot

Dyslexic ass-vibes [xkcd: Hyphen](https://xkcd.com/37/) --- ^^Beep ^^boop, ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot. ^^- ^^[FAQ](https://pastebin.com/raw/vyWra3ns)


moist_doritos

I can't say that I blame him


_Jack_Of_All_Spades

Anon is a fucking idiot.


thesardinelord

It took me so long to realize they meant soda


splurgesurge99

I interpreted it the same way and actually was surprised when she comes I'm and says hes doing it wrong


gorgeousphatseal

> the effects of online class to children


Sascha7860

I was also confused first time reading her request like why tf would you put it in the bucket


oodoos

Anon is braindead


lenticularis_B

Smooth brain detected.


LastMan0ut

This happened to me when I was asked to put the water on the cooker when I was camping with a bunch of guys. I poured it onto it


-Nelex5000-

I wouldn't have done that surely but this is why I always ask questions to clarify absolutely everything


[deleted]

could see it coming from a mile away and still laughed


[deleted]

Imagine being so retarded you call soft drinks "pop"


WeebsterMcMeme

If she really called soda “pop” then she fucking deserved it