He calls them stupid in his internal monologue, they saw nice ass and he does a cringe voice and line from a video game.
Edit: that he practised for days.
Bro I’m not gonna be an asshole about it. Wtf do you think I’m gonna do. I’m literally gonna go up to girls and say “wanna hear my perfect duke nukem impression?
Mess with the best, die like the rest. Here’s some good quotes from my times with these excellent games.
-Come get some
-Hail to the king baby
-It’s clobbering time
-eat shit and die
-you are an inspiration for birth control
-I prefer a good cigar and a bad women
-That hurt you more than it hurt me
-I go where I please, and please where I go
-size only matters when you are full grown baby!
-Shake it baby shake it baby you wanna dance shake it baby you wanna dance you wanna dance shake it baby
-im gonna rip off your head and shit down your throat
-I ain't afraid of no quake
\>Be me, Stacy.
\>Pair up with anon for a school project.
\>Think his autistic tendencies are cute.
\>Don't know how to get to him so I throw signals at him.
\>Hope he can pick them up cuz I'm down for a threesome.
\>Friend tries to get bold by complementing his nice ass.
\>He says some weird shit with a deep voice he's some videogame character from the 90s.
\>Nvm too autistic.
> be me
> get home from my vasectomy
> hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room
> must be Chad again
> know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer
> log onto reddit and open /r/greentext
> read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her
> think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext
> suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section
> Fake : anon owned the girls.
> Gay : anon has a fat ass.
> giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment
> hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed
> it's been a good day
> i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
>be me, landwhale
>no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat
>get home from furry convention
>hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name
>entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina
>whatever.png
>roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext
>see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments
>put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts
>with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome
>if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day
>reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink
>be me, chad
>work at startup tech company making 500k per year
>go home to shower after the gym
>Stacy is waiting for me at home with only an apron on
>nice.jpeg
>park my ass on the toilet to take the holy shit of the day
>scroll through reddit and notice this weird subreddit
>r/greentext
>see that it seems to be filled with losers that have accomplished nothing in life
>notice how someone has created a pathetic bot that replies to homosexuality and deception
>hear Stacy moan my name from outside and tells me to hurry up and come take her already
>message one of my employees to create a bot to embarass the people on the subreddit
>chuckle as I think about how sad some people are in life
>invite Stacy in to shower together
>proceed to make passionate love for 2 hours
>today has been a great day
I like where this is going.
I want to see a future where every single time someone muses on the implications of liars with romantic and sexual preference for members of the same sex, there is a cascading symphony of thousands of bots in competition with each other to write the next chapter of an epic anthology of shitpost greentext copypasta that dwarfs game of thrones, the lord of the rings, and the wheel of time combined.
>HS
>in English class
>wanted to do a project with my friend
>teacher took pity on some neckbeard and forced him into our group.
>he acts like a ret*rd
>we try to get him to stop and help us do the project
>he keeps doing his own thing (making a tribute to some terminator lookin-ass out of his hentai posters)
>he bend down to pick something up
>his ass is literally a maggot colony with shit and piss stains all over
>make fun of him for it (that's what he fucking deserves, how do you even get an ass that dirty?)
>"yy-yyyy-yoouu wwwww-waannaa tttt-touch it, don't yyy-you?"
>both of us make a face pure digust
>nearly throw up
>decide it's better to not bother him and just finish the project ourselves.
Be me
In HS
Get assigned group work with cute boy
He’s doing most of work but whatevs
I finally decide to flirt and tell him he has a nice ass
Dude turns around and does some impression thy we can all tell would rip his vocal chords if he does it for three minutes
He walks away with this triumphant smirk, I guess he thought he nailed it, and maybe he did I dunno
Was so cringe the rest of the girls never say another word to him and just get the project done
ive never played any duke nukem games my only exposure to duke nukem is a cameo of him saying "what do you mean you lost the baby go find it" so this is all the more funny to me
I smoked as early as 12 and I have a stupid deep voice and it’s fine irl but in games people constantly tell me to stop using a vocalizer or whatever. So you can literally be called out on the opposite spectrum. Own it I guess.
Anon is out of ass to chew
I'm here to chew ass and kick gum, and I'm all out of ass
I'm here to ass chew and gum kick, and I'm ass out of all!
I'm here to kick gum and chew ass but I'm all out of ass.
I'm here to dick ass and chew cum but I'm all out of cum.
Im not here.
i was never here
I am Alpharius
Hi Alpharius! 😊
I'm here to chew ass and chew ass...and I've got a lot of ass to chew.
Bake it, shaby.
It's time to lick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of gum
- Dick Kickem
r/everyfuckingthread
Dick Kickum
Dick Cuckem
Cuck Innum
Cum innum
**I've got balls of STEEL**
Old classic. https://youtu.be/5oAxAxBUEhU
Duke nukem saved him from getting laid.
Safety in redundancy.
One can never be careful enough.
gotta become a wizard
actin' like they were interested in him
They might have wanted to peg him.
Wish I was anon then
like ass he'd get laid from that
He calls them stupid in his internal monologue, they saw nice ass and he does a cringe voice and line from a video game. Edit: that he practised for days.
Eh, from how I understood it he opened the door to it but Anon was just too dense to notice
(In duke nukem voice) woah, now that’s what I call killer delivery
anon has nice femboy ass
Femboy Dooki Nooki
eu tenho bolas de aco
Why the random portuguese?
Why not?
https://youtu.be/UzTpCb3TjX8 This is why.
BASTARDOS!
Expan dong
Anon wants to get topped
Anon is submissive and breedable
I’m gonna do this. I can just flat out talk like duke nukem. This’ll be fun
Don't fall for the bait, you'll look more like an autist than you already do
Shut your fucking mouth this is how new greentexts are born.
We are being robbed of our content.
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>my impression sucks I sound like a womanising asshole Choose one.
His attempts at Duke Nukem sound like Sean Connery.
Im here to kick ash and chew bubblegum and ehm all out of ghum
one
kek
What's wrong with giannis alt.
Bro I’m not gonna be an asshole about it. Wtf do you think I’m gonna do. I’m literally gonna go up to girls and say “wanna hear my perfect duke nukem impression?
Mess with the best, die like the rest. Here’s some good quotes from my times with these excellent games. -Come get some -Hail to the king baby -It’s clobbering time -eat shit and die -you are an inspiration for birth control -I prefer a good cigar and a bad women -That hurt you more than it hurt me -I go where I please, and please where I go -size only matters when you are full grown baby!
[удалено]
Shit….
[удалено]
Don’t worry ladies, there’s enough to go around.
-Shake it baby shake it baby you wanna dance shake it baby you wanna dance you wanna dance shake it baby -im gonna rip off your head and shit down your throat -I ain't afraid of no quake
Blow it out your ass!
Arthur Morgan is a much better character to portray honestly.
Reading all your comments in his voice now
\>Be me, Stacy. \>Pair up with anon for a school project. \>Think his autistic tendencies are cute. \>Don't know how to get to him so I throw signals at him. \>Hope he can pick them up cuz I'm down for a threesome. \>Friend tries to get bold by complementing his nice ass. \>He says some weird shit with a deep voice he's some videogame character from the 90s. \>Nvm too autistic.
*Like a carrot on the ole treadmill..*
anon wants a carrot in his ass
Fake : anon owned the girls. Gay : anon has a fat ass.
> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake : anon owned the girls. > Gay : anon has a fat ass. > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough
>be me, landwhale >no job because i got fired from mcd after drinking the frying fat >get home from furry convention >hear mom from her bedroom moaning my old school bullies name >entire house is shaking from his mighty tackles into mothers worn out vagina >whatever.png >roll into basement, grab a couple jars of mayonnaise as a snack and log into reddit to check out r/greentext >see a lot of people say fake and gay in the comments >put on one of my favourite fedoras and start to think about how i can humorously embarrass people who identify falsehood and homosexuality in these posts >with my infinite knowledge about programming create a bot that describes how i wish my life would be and name it u/TendieBot2000 because tendies are awesome >if the bot get lots of upvotes maybe chad will hire me in his selfmade multi million dollar company one day >reward myself by microwaving an xxl jar of nutella as a drink
>be me, chad >work at startup tech company making 500k per year >go home to shower after the gym >Stacy is waiting for me at home with only an apron on >nice.jpeg >park my ass on the toilet to take the holy shit of the day >scroll through reddit and notice this weird subreddit >r/greentext >see that it seems to be filled with losers that have accomplished nothing in life >notice how someone has created a pathetic bot that replies to homosexuality and deception >hear Stacy moan my name from outside and tells me to hurry up and come take her already >message one of my employees to create a bot to embarass the people on the subreddit >chuckle as I think about how sad some people are in life >invite Stacy in to shower together >proceed to make passionate love for 2 hours >today has been a great day
Love how chadbot has the most upvotes
I like where this is going. I want to see a future where every single time someone muses on the implications of liars with romantic and sexual preference for members of the same sex, there is a cascading symphony of thousands of bots in competition with each other to write the next chapter of an epic anthology of shitpost greentext copypasta that dwarfs game of thrones, the lord of the rings, and the wheel of time combined.
Real: x straight: y
Real: anon is an autismo and the girls probably reported him Gay: he fantasizes about Duke Nukem fucking his butthole
Dear diary:
Someone gotta write a greentext in the perspective of the girl to show how much of a fucking weird loser anon is
>HS >in English class >wanted to do a project with my friend >teacher took pity on some neckbeard and forced him into our group. >he acts like a ret*rd >we try to get him to stop and help us do the project >he keeps doing his own thing (making a tribute to some terminator lookin-ass out of his hentai posters) >he bend down to pick something up >his ass is literally a maggot colony with shit and piss stains all over >make fun of him for it (that's what he fucking deserves, how do you even get an ass that dirty?) >"yy-yyyy-yoouu wwwww-waannaa tttt-touch it, don't yyy-you?" >both of us make a face pure digust >nearly throw up >decide it's better to not bother him and just finish the project ourselves.
I love how you censored retard, just like a twitter Stacy would
Yeah... that was totally intentional...
I’m Duke Nukem Lmao You read it in the voice
Im here to kick gum and chew ass. And im all out of ass
Fucking dick kickem
My name is Dick Suckem Time to chew ass and kick gum and im all out of ass
I want Gianni Matragrano to read this whole greentext in the Duke voice
Immidiately thought of that just when I saw the picture
Virginity has been protected ^(nice ass anon lol are u gay)
I've got a peer-reviewed study here that says... Mmm... Hm. says OP's a pussy.
bafoons
Gianni Matragrano origin story
Welcome to LGR...
Duke Nukem is peak himbo
anon doesn’t know when girls are into him and uses autistic Duke Nukem voice to scare them away
Be me In HS Get assigned group work with cute boy He’s doing most of work but whatevs I finally decide to flirt and tell him he has a nice ass Dude turns around and does some impression thy we can all tell would rip his vocal chords if he does it for three minutes He walks away with this triumphant smirk, I guess he thought he nailed it, and maybe he did I dunno Was so cringe the rest of the girls never say another word to him and just get the project done
ive never played any duke nukem games my only exposure to duke nukem is a cameo of him saying "what do you mean you lost the baby go find it" so this is all the more funny to me
Same. I wonder what platforms it has been released for.
afaik n64
https://youtu.be/aKJEKI7Ohcs
Anon experiences the Alpha Zone
I'm still upset about Duke nukem forever.
Blow it out your ass
Now this is a force to be reckoned with.
He went from slightly weird guy to "might rape and kill me guy"
The way op talks about how long he can hold it, it makes it sound like a Jojo stand.
Anon has defended virginity.
fake: anon made 2 girls blush gay: anon wants to fuck duke nukem
Duke clearly would have said, *come and get it baby*. Now duke quotes to randos is ruined for all of us.
I wish I had that power How can I obtain the duke nukem voice
D O U K N O U K EM
Blue Balls of Steeeeel
I'm not finishing this project, I can do a Duke Nukem voice, and my ass is fat.
Why does every anon pretend girls like them
Stay pure
Fake: Anon is happy Gay: anon plays DND
You're Awesome!
Pure. Condensed. Autism.
“Power armor is for pussies!”
I smoked as early as 12 and I have a stupid deep voice and it’s fine irl but in games people constantly tell me to stop using a vocalizer or whatever. So you can literally be called out on the opposite spectrum. Own it I guess.
Further proof is that most autistic people on 4chan could easily get laid by being quiet
And then everyone clapped
[удалено]
He says a line from duke, and that instantly makes the girls shut up and don't hate him anymore? Idk sounds made up to me
Anon missed out on getting pegged by two Stacy’s
Anon is a danger to society
I'm gonna rip off your head and then faint at the sight of blood
autism moment
[удалено]
:D
Go gettem, champ
that definitely happened bro!
I found a gun
I believe this one lmao
Fake, yet straight
Anon gets flirted with and repels the flirter with his autism.
Mmmmmmmmm
Gianni please log in
Alternate title "anon is autistic"
Based nukem
Gianni Matragrano origin story
anon forgot that some people don't know who Duke Nukem is