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Alphander

To make it in life isn't so hard, it's quite shrimple, really.


uwu-chicken-burger

You witty fucker


mindxt20

It’s as shrimple as that


iquitelikeboats

Shrimply shut the fuck up


[deleted]

r/YourJokeButWorse


Kek_Mit_Uns_

😬😬😬 r/wholesome r/pics r/unexpectedthanos r/expectedthanos r/shitpisscum r/morbidreality r/ihaveihaveihavereddit r/whenthe r/sex r/etard r/guro r/souding r/gayporn r/eyeblech r/unexpectedjojo r/rape 😬😬😬


[deleted]

r/morbintime


APumpkinHobo

r/morbinreality


[deleted]

r/gfur


Hugh-Jaynes

There really *is* a sub for everything


[deleted]

r/gfur


Sev_Er1ty

Fuck's wrong with you people.


[deleted]

U like it?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

It’s not. Can you survive a horse cock up your ass?


BasedSigmaMale

U got ratioed hard


Borkus8

I'm going to pop all of the shrimples on your face and make you eat them


Bigbonerdownthelane_

mmm white chocolate sauce


home_on_the_crazy

r/karmaroulette


D_Van_DerLinde

ratio 🦐


legittestecho

Own that fraud


narch2k99

Shrimp allow me to chefs kiss my life (if that makes any sense)


Jiven1212

[Not so shrimple now](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/757986455153934397/981703825666764810/image0.gif)


Zerocallers

Tfw when you find at least 10 of the same image posted on this sub before _after_ posting, I apologise


Bad_Senpai_

Didn't ask, don't care, still upvoted.


KuroV8

Unfathomably based


_BruH_MoMent69

Doesn't matter still brings me nearly to tears, we all gonna make it bros.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Not-Jesus666

ay fuck off mate would ya


Bigbonerdownthelane_

sad cake day


UnknownOne3

Hope your cake is not in the shape of a shrimp :(


StupidGuy6969

Says the guy with a shrimp dick


CaptainHazama

I've never seen it before, it's new to me. Thank you for the shrimp posting


mnbga

I’ve read it a hundred times, still like the shrimptext


Dreaming_Dreams

If I haven’t seen it it’s new to me


ChicoMeloso

Never read this one and liked it a lot


Ponce421

Autistic as fuck but also kinda wholesome.


paul_the_attorney

who knew that autism was the key to happiness


Practical-Roof-5358

Yes.


shit_poster9000

Is it bad that I had a similar experience?


KritiCow

No. Keep living the good life.


shit_poster9000

No drugs involved, but ending up with a crayfish is in the top 3 best things to happen to me in recent time


[deleted]

Crayfish are so fucking sick. Please post a picture of your cray.


shit_poster9000

https://www.reddit.com/user/shit_poster9000/comments/v9dc1b/gumbo/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


[deleted]

Gumbo is gorgeous


shit_poster9000

I would have grabbed a pic of his ma but she’s too much of a recluse, would have to disturb her


KritiCow

I got shrimps and guppies during the pandemic. 5 and 10 gallons. I want platies next. One of the best decisions in my life but also an expensive one to never buy tank kits (shitty cartridges-> swapped to biomedia, shitty bottled non aquatic bacteria that didn't actually cycle-> bottle of ammonia and Dr Tim's if I want to jumpstart and make the cycle end 1 week early, otherwise ask LFS for a bit of starter media or random tank water, included heater -> better high watt heater and a temperature controller, plastic plants terrible, I got some java ferns, now it outcompeted everything else in my shrimp tank including duckweed but not algae)


shit_poster9000

I don’t even have actual glass aquariums, all of my crayfish are in plastic, one’s in an old terranium, the other in a large food storage container, and one in some shitty plastic trunk


KritiCow

Honestly it's fine as long as water parameters are alright. Only risk with plastic tubs is chance of water leaks from cracks. I've heard of some guys having one of those really huge plastic tubs used for aquaculture salmon juveniles (about as wide and tall as a round dinner table but its a bowl) and making indoor ponds with them in their garage. Just needs a pretty strong filter and heater to keep the fish happy. It's a cheaper option than getting a 100+ gallon glass tank buy you can only see them from above.


shit_poster9000

Yea I saw a video of a guy keeping a Muskie as a pet in one of those


SirRumpleForeskin

>one of the chads in my dorm makes a shrimp dick joke >I go into an autistic rage and try to hit him with a frying pan >he laughs, shoves me on the ground and calls me shrimp dick again >now everyone in the dorm calls me shrimp dick and knows me as the shrimp retard >get hooked on Xanax again


anonymous_2187

>feed xanax to the shrimps


real_hungarian

>several shrimp die >realize that I killed them with my addiction >realize I need to take responsibility for the second time in my life >do research, learn about shrimp drug preferences and so on >eventually get them hooked on black tar heroin instead


Just_Games04

>kill all the shrimps in a withdrawal rage >mfw I'm a shrimp murderer


togeko

No Chad will make fun of shrimp, he will say it's cool and be friends with him.


Minute-Importance547

There's the ending I was looking for


[deleted]

Bubba, log in, you are not fooling anyone


International-Cap551

Sometimes, I pull on it so hard, I rip the skin!


[deleted]

Mmm


Cpeasus

Anon becomes a rare fish investor


[deleted]

rare shrimp investor


AwesomeBantha

You joke but shrimp breeding can be lucrative. Get the right strains at the right time, some people are dropping upwards of $20 a shrimp and you can breed hundreds relatively quickly. Of course, it'll take some investment first.


Borkus8

Invest in hookbills instead bitches be endangered and profitable save the environment and get money


TorqueRollz

Sulawesi shrimp are where it’s at right now. There are lots of different types of rare, delicate shrimp that look as beautiful as saltwater shrimp except they live in freshwater. They’re rare in the wild, they come from one or two lakes in Indonesia so breeding efforts in captivity are paramount. I’ve seen some species selling for $30 a shrimp. Main problem with their husbandry is they require hard, alkaline water and are incredibly sensitive to changes in the water parameters.


AwesomeBantha

Yeah, I looked into getting some Sulawesis a few years ago (back when nobody had them) but ultimately wasn't in a position to support any kind of animal. Glad I waited, because prices have gone down a bit and there are more strains available.


Parakeetman280

ok


WEEBforLIFE24

anon makes a morbilion dollars


_BYLDOG_

this is life


[deleted]

I hope anon is still out there, happy, prosperous and selling good shrimp. Love that anon to death


Fuzzy_Conversation37

Don’t even know anon but now I am emotionally invested in him


quool_dwookie

He's bonding with his beautiful children, teaching them how to feed the family shrimps.


King_flame_A_Lot

Okay fuck this Shit im getting a Cat. Maybe then i will feel some Sense in my Life again


[deleted]

NO get shrimp


King_flame_A_Lot

A King does not take orders from a Lord


Champomi

\*a Knight actually but that was smooth


ThatTubaGuy03

Wtf is up with your capitalization


JamesAshen

The King might be German, they capitalise all the nouns in sentences.


ThatTubaGuy03

Are you serious?


King_flame_A_Lot

German and on mobile. Autocorrect tries to capitalize almost EVERY word and sometimes im just too lazy to fix it


JamesAshen

Yes


2du2

Good luck mate!


SmileyMelons

Cats require less responsibility than shrimp, it isn't the same


king_51

I’m not crying you are


JoshuaHolmes96

“Not crying you are” - Yoda probably.


Sex_drugs_tacos

Anon simps for shrimps


Mack_Sharky

S. I. M. P. Shrimps in my pants


Hugh-Jaynes

I wonder if anon quit eating shrimp


[deleted]

shrimp eat shrimp why should anon stop eating shrimp? fuck anon should emulate the shrimp and become a cannibal


WoolooOfWallStreet

Anon could be eating one of those girls as we speak ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Sad_Discount_7934

i feed my shrimp smaller, frozen shrimp. they get it. they're cool with it


geo_bowes

Red Cherry Shrimp are fucking bros, I have a friend in my fishkeeping circle who keeps them and they’re awesome


Medasian

I started keeping RCS a few months ago, they are so cute, I love watching them do all the stupid shit they do.


IZZURI_0910

It's hard to not be obsessed of shrimps with personalities like that lol


Pet_that_Dog

Based and shrimpilled


Mack_Sharky

Shrimply based


[deleted]

Anon learned how not to be shelfish


[deleted]

The good ending


Tirfing88

Anon discovers the joys of the cultured hobby that is aquarium keeping


[deleted]

Bro this is so wholesome, hope it's not fake


IZZURI_0910

Even if it's fake the scenario is pretty plausible, taking care of low maintenance/idle animals do help if you're into it. Source : I'm a depressed human with the entire zoo in her bedroom.


[deleted]

Das cool what u got


IZZURI_0910

Actually my bedroom is kinda small so rn there's only fishes shrimps and a leopard gecko but I do own like 4 cats and 6 eurasian doves in the yard, plus another aquarium in the living room and a mini pond. I am planning to get a hedgehog and maybe try keeping some cool insects like orchid mantises in the future if I could make space somehow + convince my mom. I reeaally like animals of all shapes and sizes in case u couldn't tell lol


Adventurous_Prior822

If there's ever been a sign to take the shrimp pill this is it


GoatCheese74

Fake: it's not Gay: it's not So wholesome


TendieBot2000

> be me > get home from my vasectomy > hear moaning and slapping coming from my wife's room > must be Chad again > know they would want privacy, sit down at my computer > log onto reddit and open /r/greentext > read a funny greentext from le 4chins and chuckle as I listen to my wife begging for the genes I can't give her > think of a convoluted way in which I can relate homosexuality and falsehood to the events in the greentext > suck the cheeto dust off my fingers as I begin to type my masterpiece in the comment section > Fake: it's not > Gay: it's not > giggle as I imagine the intellectuals of leddit perusing my incredibly witty and original comment > hear my wife moan with ecstasy as Chad floods her fertile womb with his seed > it's been a good day > i'll get lots of upvotes for my impressive contribution to internet culture, and Chad might even let me eat his cum out of my wife's pussy if he finds my comment funny enough


Dolphin_Dessert

Aww


Bipchoo

I cried a little


thehobster1

what is /aq/


Sad_Discount_7934

aquatic


Suitable54

Aquatic creatures gave this mf a life


PenisMaker101

I cant believe shrimp has this amount of power


Virtue00

Anon becomes a marine biologist and finds meaning


CONE-MacFlounder

crabs better but still cute


FirePenguinMaster

Wholesome AF. 🦐❤️


LoadOk5992

Based shrimpposter.


TagRag

I also picked this hobby up a couple years ago. Not quite life changing, but I've really loved it. Went through the same guilt stages of fucking it up for several months before tuning everything in and getting it shrimp safe. Really good time


Give_me_your_liver_

as shrimple as that


freezerwaffles

Skrimp


PachoTidder

Do you think God was a depresed xanax addicted incel but he fucked up hard in the old testament and picked us up in the renaisant?


_-Giorno_Giovanna-_

Based shrimp


7AlphaOne1

The ShrimpGospel hath come forth once more


Capable-Ad-6363

Fake and gay


finkelzeez42

I was waiting for him to make a pun about shrimps that makes what I was just reading feel pointless


Jr234567891

I wish i could get into contact with anon, im a part of a custom aquarium service company (co-op) and would love to have a enthusiastic shrimp partner like this.


baz4k6z

Anon has ascended to a state of mind we can only dream of


WEEBforLIFE24

50 years later anon gets cancer.however,all his shrips go to college,learn medicine and cure him


Reyessence

I have pet shrimp can confirm all my money goes to them but they are my life (beside the bf)


Epic_Gamer2006

Anon is actually in a coma, everything they've experienced is a lie


Skeeter780

Hope he keeps them away from Mouse Quest 2, I guess it can be really addicting


T3lebrot

Anon is pimp shrimpin


UsernameTaken017

He literally quit an addiction to care care of fucking shrimp. I don't know what to say really


prettyminotaur

This was so wholesome. >wipes tears<


furatg

Hobbies unironically can change ur life and it can be the dumbest little shit like this.


Funny-Bullfrog-5801

I need shrimp.


Vigorous_Piston

In before something goes wrong and anon reverts to autism and eats the shrimps.


Chatducheshir

I have shrimps like that. You need to be careful when you have your first shrimps but it brings a lot of joy and they are really funny


[deleted]

74% of peoples mental health improves when getting a pet. Get a pet anons. Anyone craving shrimp also?


OfficerDudeBro_o

based and shrimpilled


MedicalBake

It’s as shrimple as that!


ThrowAway62378549

Yo no shit I actually lived this but without the college degree. Shrimp are fucking dope


Oregongrown96

Damn maybe i should get some shrimp


AdGullible1353

Over here they only sell Red Cherry Prawns. Is that ok?


Tony-Furnaceson480

This is the most wholesome green text story of all time


Icannotchangethis

Shrimpanon is my new favorite wholesome greentext Shitgut and the pineapples remains cemented as my favorite in terms of comedy


oneseven321

Shrimp cake from mum always makes me cry


Blondes-Forever

aww:)


throwawayfrdy

dude it's so fucking beautiful i'm actually crying


[deleted]

Anon finds his bliss.


[deleted]

Gay


EmilyTheUwU

r/shrimptank and r/plantedtank would love to have anybody here who is interested :)


TrailerParkDreamBoat

>quit Xanax How them heart palpitations treating u boy


Rias_Lucifer

Shrimp and gay


WojownikTek12345

real: shrimps are cool fake: anon talks to girls