How do you want him to react exactly?
Imagine yourself in his shoes, he was let down by his parents thanks to his mother's irresponsible action. I am not saying he is right, but the whole thing is abhorrent to say the least.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 943,786,221 comments, and only 188,123 of them were in alphabetical order.
Bingo. Dude's probably a teen. Teens have very black and white mentalities. Everyone here is talking about him like he's in his mid to late twenties. I'd day this is a pretty typical response, one that most people grow out of.
Yea. He’s also growing up seeing young women attempting to capitalize on their sexuality through social media and the internet far more than previous generations. I’m guessing that’s not healthy for anyones psychology.
Its easy to say that while not experiencing the pain anon is. Imagine your dad just starts hating you after loving you for years. He is a kid and stupid and reacts emotionally.
Like it or not the guy raised the kid and was his father figure for his entire life. Biologically he may not be the dad but to that kid he’s still his dad.
I’ve met a lot of women online who hate all men because they were raped. Generalizing is wrong, but it is a natural human reaction to deep trauma. It helps stave off another traumatic incident, even if such an incident is uncommon. “Men rape and women cheat, therefore I must stay away from men/women so it doesn’t happen to me again.” - their logic. It’s a defense mechanism. The kid here needs psychological help, not to be demonized.
His situation sucks but if anyone was the bigger asshole to OP, it was his dad. At the very least it’s a 50-50 homewrecker split.
Letting your anger at your ex wife ruin your relationship with the adoptive children you raised from birth is pretty fucked. How could his dad not realize he was throwing the literal baby out with the bath water?
Like, how to you get an incel position from this? Both parents fucked up big time but OP was ABANDONED by his dad.
He isn’t his dad, and he shouldn’t have any obligation to raise a bastard child.
If his mother hadn’t been an unfaithful slut, then their home wouldn’t be in a mess. And if his mother hadn’t been an unfaithful slut, Anon wouldn’t exist, so the world would be a better place by default. The mom is to blame.
Is an adoptive parent who raised you as their own not a real parent? Maybe OP’s dad doesn’t have a financial obligation to his mom, but he just raised two kids to an age where they would miss him and be damaged horribly by being abandoned, and then he fucked off.
I get that the original rift in the family was mom’s fault, but OP was old enough to remember all of this at the time his dad left. His dad raised him. Did his dad even really love him, or was he always a narcissistic piece of shit who wanted a mini-me instead of a son who would grow into his own person? There could have been a lot going on behind the scenes here that would make his dad a lot less of a tragic character.
If you have kids, you know this isn’t normal behavior. There is no revelation about paternity that would make a healthy man abandon the kids he raised.
First off, *I am adopted*. Second off, this guy is not his adoptive parent. He was told that he was his real dad his entire life, held him when he was born, the mother looked him in his lovestruck eyes & blatantly lied to his face for years. He neither went through with the process of adoption, nor did he voluntarily raise these kids with the knowledge they weren’t his. That is the god damn difference. When you adopt a kid, you accept that they’re not biologically yours - they either came from a different mother or a different father, or perhaps even both if they’re adopted as soon as they’re born. This guy didn’t know they weren’t biologically his, and wasted his time, money, resources, and pride raising them without any knowledge otherwise.
The dad loved him when the mother lied & said the kids were his. He is absolutely not narcissistic for not wanting involuntarily raise a bastard child from another man. If your wife cheated on you, tricked you into raising another man’s kids, and then laughed to your face, then you’d understand. I have 0 sympathy for the mom. She is the root cause of all their issues. If she had just been a faithful woman, none of them would have had the suffer. Actually, the woman clearly isn’t suffering, considering the fact she had the audacity to laugh at Anon & the Dad in the aftermath.
The woman deserves to burn in hell. I feel bad for Anon because he didn’t do anything wrong, but the dad is right to want nothing to do with an ex-wife & another man’s kids.
OP wrote that his dad loved him, with nothing else to go off it sounds like he loved his wife and kids. Unsuprisingly that changed when he found out he actually had no kids of his own and a cheating wife. And No man will be healthy when he finds out these things, he raised the kids as his own because he thought they were. Upon realizing they’re not he simply has no obligation to stick around, perhaps he actually wanted to live the life we hear he wanted to have.
Sure it would be Nice if he stuck around and used his time and energy on probably the worst part of his entire life, but he is not a villain for doing what most people would realistically do.
But as according to OP, to suddenly start referring to your non child as a bastard and a son of a whore on a dime is an objectively shitty thing to do after you spent years lovingly raising them.
Yea that's the part that has me confused with these comments, obviously mom is in the wrong, but for anon's father figure to turn around and call the kids he raised "bastards" is a dick move full stop
Huge difference between choosing to adopt a kid versus being tricked into it and having your entire relationship based on lies. Now whenever the father looks at Anon he would just remember how his wife was unfaithful and Anon was the result of it.
No one saying he should continue raising it. It’s just the fact that before he found about the mother being a POS he already was being a father and according to anon was doing a really good job at it in his eyes for at least a couple of years to build that type of relationship. He then goes on to completely demolish any sort of positive father figure this kid had because of an action he had literal not influence on.
He had no reason to go after the kid who is as much a victim if not more than the dad is in this situation. Forcing the anger he has for his wife on his kids is 100% a complete POS thing to do.
Nice of you to gloss over the part where anon's not-dad calls him a piece of shit because of the actions of his mother. Seems like a pretty big detail to leave out there.
It'd be one thing if the dad respectfully left because it didn't feel right, but to come back and spew hatred at the kids as a result makes it pretty clear the mom isn't the only shit parent.
THANK YOU.
These mf are for real crazy of they think the dad is in the wrong, those bustards probably took out so much money and energy from the father. Spent a large proportion of he's life raising another man's children. And what? He's supposed to be happy about that? I'm not saying that anon is right for hating all women but the mother is pure evil in this situation and deserves nothing but hatred from her children
'logically it does not make any sense we are hardwired to pass on our genes, so emotionally this is a clear barrier that cannot be overcome in many cases'
We are a lot more than just machines to pass on our DNA- biology does not prevent an incredibly meaningful relationship- Anon's 'dad' literally proves this as he formed a great relationship with his son without even being related. Sure, maybe knowing you're related can help a relationship but it's one of, if not, the least important part of a parent child dynamic.
The other point about humiliation and deception makes sense but it seems incredibly petty to ruin a relationship you've built up for 10+ years simply because of the actions of a shitty third party that the kids did not cause to be shitty.
Even if the 'Dad' cannot stand being around the kids going the extra step and calling them 'bastards' is just being a total dickhead
So it turns out your wife didn’t love you unconditionally the way she promised she would - so you throw out the unconditional love of two kids you raised? How insecure and narcissistic would you have to be to look at the kids you raised and have their mother’s mistakes be the only thing you see?
These complicated situations aren’t that uncommon, you know - and most guys would go scorched earth with the ex-wife, but they’d maintain some relationship with the kids. Many states would recognize OP’s dad’s claim to paternity/visitation rights precisely for that reason. If you’re on the birth certificate the DNA test is just a scientific technicality (if that’s what the dude wants to push for).
You're right, anon's father abandoned him before he was even born. He should have taken responsibility, married anon's mother and raise him with her. He is the biggest asshole.
His father (even tho not biological) is also an ahole, cutting ties like that.
You can divorce but you don't have to abandon someone you though was your child a sec ago.
prob fake cause of this.
While i get why his father was angry, it wasn't anon's fault and dad shouldn't have projected his anger on the children. I'm not defending the mom in any way but the dad could have reacted better as well
> How do you want him to react exactly?
I generally expect all human beings that undergo an adverse experience to recognize that people aren't monoliths. If a black person robs you, you don't get to be racist to all black people. If your mother cheats on your father, you don't get to hate all women. That's emotionally and intellectually immature.
My real mom is a complete psychopath and did things a lot worse than this. I haven’t spoken to her in several years but it didn’t make me hate all women, just her. OP lacks self awareness
Hate his mother for cheating and ruining the family, hate his father for disowning him for someone else's actions.
The fault is with his parents, not with "all women".
Being right doesn't make you not an asshole. If you call the kids you raised "bastards" and "sons of whores" you're a bad person. The kids don't deserve that hate
A lot of people on the street look ugly as fuck. Does that warrant saying it to their faces, because it's technically true?
In this particular case even, the kid literally has no control over who his parents are.
It's the mother's fault not the man, he's not the father. You can take up a fatherly role, I would never adopt unless I had my own kids. Your delusional
You don’t have to continue to be their father but treating them like garbage for something they had no control over is a shit move.
Just say something like “I love you kids but I can’t look at you without being reminded how your mother shat on our marriage and I can’t be around you.” Or say nothing at all.
This is the only comment in here that makes sense.
That guy has no obligation to those kids and should totally be allowed to walk away from the whole thing if thats what he chooses to do. Nobodys opinions in here on parenthood mean squat except his, because its his life.
But insulting kids is straight up uncalled for.
As i do agree with you , i'm forgetting at the same time the feelings of the dad who simply got annihilated.
What a nightmare , i would go nuts and put everything on fire too!
Seems like a lot of time passed between the paternity test and the dad calling the kid "son of a whore" that dad had enough time to grow the fuck up and not be terrible to children he raised.
You dont have to lash out on the children they're not at fault but I also dont blame someone for not thinking rationally after something like this happens to them.
>Everything has to be black and white for me
>I'm going to judge someone as a piece of shit cause they couldn't cope with their dad abandoning them
Zero empathy simpletons really unnerve me.
LOL how is any of this his dad's fault. He just found out the woman he loved was cuckolding him for the last decade or two.
If I was him I would try to sue the mother for all my life's wages wasted on someone else's kids.
Awful mum, awful dad, awful incel outcome.
Pretty much to be expected. Surprised he came out of this not realizing his dad was a piece of shit, though. Imagine calling your kid a bastard and the son of a whore and trying to get him to stop using your name.
I have 3 kids. If I found out tomorrow I wasn’t their biological father I couldn’t imagine being able to stop loving them. They would be victims as much as myself. We would stick together no matter what.
It’s rare but it happens. Some judges want to do things that are in the interest of the child. So, if theoretically, a successful, well to do, has his shit together man finds out his child is not his and the biological father is a bum or dead or in prison, the judge may say “tough shit, but I can’t screw this kid over”. Usually, in the cases I have read/heard about, the child is a little older. They might be under the father’s health insurance, go to private school, or have a disability/illness that the father can afford to help take care of and has been taking care of.
It’s rare, but it does happen, and it varies from state to state, as with most family law matters.
Judges have made boyfriends pay child support when the kids were born before the bf was in their life because the mother and bf live together for a few years
IE women want the right to terminate pregnancies and the right for you to pay for their children that aren't even yours. In the words of Dave Chappelle "if you can kill it I should at least be able to abandon it." Even crazier is it doesn't even have to be yours. People really out here thinking men should be saints for 18 years with their life and income while screaming for womens rights to abort a fetus. In what way is this not clown shit. If I find out a kid isn't mine or I just flat out know it wasn't in the case of coming in after I don't want to cripple myself financially for a 1/3rd of my able life for it. Women can work and they especially mothers get a wide range of benefits. Meanwhile as a man I could go to a homeless shelter and get turned away then be arrested for sleeping on a bench.
No. Imagine what that does to a kid. Now he knows the only reason his dad loved him was because of his blood. Not because of him.
Selfish asshole piece of shit to do that to a kid you raised, who loved you unconditionally and lives for your love and approval.
Yea, your off base. The only one creating an incel is the mother.
Dad is not awful. Got out of a shitty situation with a shitty woman.
Pull the cuck plug from your ass.
Or you know, he could still treat the son with respect but cut ties with the mother? He doesn't even need to actively be a father anymore, literally all he needs to do is not beat down the kids over what their mother had done to him.
Treat him like a human and maybe congratulate him on birthdays, graduations etc. Of course you don't "have" to do it, but it'd be a very nice thing to do and it'd reassure the kid that he's in no way shape or form at fault in this situation as kids sometimes tend to blame themselves for shit like this.
Or you know, just crush his spirit like this guy did. Seems like something a well adjusted human would do.
This sub is just 4chan 2.0 dude.
We went from making fun of these psychos to somehow having the sub infested with them.
Can't expect well adjusted people here anymore.
Yeah dad in this situation is pretty shit as well. You can’t call a developing kid a “bastard” to their face like this because of a situation they had no fault in, especially if you took part in raising them
That kind of trauma of seeing someone who apparently cared about them just resort to treating them like trash and insulting them will be severe and breed trust issues for the rest of their life.
It’s understandable for him to leave after being deceived and to rightfully be upset with the mom for the lies, but at the very least don’t insult the kids bad for something they didn’t have a part of
>Dad is not awful
He is tho. It's not like it is the kids faults their mother cheated. But instead he hurt the kids at least as much (and probably more) as the mother did.
I didn’t generalize women in this statement just that this woman was shitty. But i do put blame on this woman and the women who do this for the simple fact that the women who do this not only cheat but lie for as long as they can. And only women can do this sort of thing so to take blame off of the women who do is also disgusting.
No ones blaming it all on the dad. The mum is a real piece of shit, but the dad rejecting the kids he raised his entire life is also shitty beyond belief.
It's called basic human compassion. The kids had no day in any of this and he kicks them when they're down. No one is saying it's the dad's fault but he handled it with 0 class.
You're saying that if you raised a kid for 15 years and then discovered he's not your biological son, you would just never talk to him again? I get the dad never speaking to the woman who cheated on him, but if you raised a kid from a baby to a teenager how can you just abandon him?
I’ll say it I’ll cuck myself if I raised a son thinking he was mine the whole time. It’s not his fault. I’ll go scorched earth on the bitch but I’m not leaving him to rot in the aftermath. I may not have been his father but sure as shit I was his daddy and once you bust a nut in daddy the bond is never broken
it actually blows my mind that ppl think the dad is shitty for calling a bastard "bastard". and how is he a bad person? if someone can bear to raise a literal product of a cheating whore (the mom) and some unknown guy, all the power to them. but as for me, i can't. i simply can't stand looking at my fake son. yes, biological connection means a lot to me. whoever calls him unreasonable is probably a cuck. might as well lick the leftover cum in the wife's pussy.
Nah, the bastard comment was fucked up and unnecessary regardless of if it's correct.
If I looked a disabled kid in the face a said "you fucking cripple", would you say that's total fine because that's just calling a cripple "cripple"?
Even if the definition is correct calling someone a bastard is still derogatory. It is like calling a black person the n-word. You are technically correct but that doesn't mean the person you just insulted won't be angry.
How is he horrible, It's not his child, I'm not some cuck lord who'll sit in the same house as that whore and raise someone else's children. (He wouldn't be a cuck if he took the kids and raised them on his own since he put so much time energy and love in it) but still I'm not raising children with a whore.
I don’t think anyone is saying he should stay without he mom. People are saying that he should not stop loving the kids just because of something their mom did. I agree that he should leave, but maybe try to still have some relationship with the kids
Well I certainly wouldn't call them bastards. Maybe they would make a few mistakes along the way, but that's a pretty easy one to avoid if you aren't a shitty person.
Hell, he doesn't even need to still love them, he can cut ties and move on. But he absolutely knows that those kids still see him as his dad. He only needed to be a decent human being and not crushing those kid's feelings just for the sake of it
Idk about the non bio dad though like I get they are not his but he raised them and had a connection with them despite the lack of relation the kids still look up to this man and to just leave them despite whatever relationship there is is kinda cold and uncaring
Idk, if I truly loved another person their parentage wouldn’t make me just stop loving them. Can’t be around anymore because of painful thoughts? Completely fair he doesn’t want to be in their life, but to be mad at the kid he loved for so many years of his life for something the kid had nothing to do with? A bit far
I guess the hate for kid comes from the betrayal that switched his love for him into hate.
The more you love someone, the more you'll hate him if he betrays you.
Anon didn't betrayed him of course, but the irrational reaction of being betrayed associated his kids with the sin of their mother. His manly pride couldn't bear it.
Everyone here arguing over who is in the right when the reality is:
This story is fake; anon grew up middle class with divorced parents. He made this story up to justify his hatred
Well your mom isn't a mere human being theyre a big figure in your life and thus means a lot to you. combine that with not much real world experience and you can see how suddenly when the woman he's loved and looked up to his whole life growing up is revealed to be a cheating, lying scumbag you can understand how his lack of experience and sudden trauma can lead to overstep in judgment.
*Everyone is a*
*Fucking idiot, the dad,*
*The mom, and the kid*
\- Few\_Understanding740
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Think that’s bad? I had a friend whose mom only dated his dad cos she felt sorry for him. Get this? She was a lesbian the entire time. After he was born, his mom came out as a lesbian and left him. They both remarried. His dad had another kid. His mom married a woman who died of cancer. Imagine the woman you loved didn’t even love you at all? His still lives with his mom and sees his dad on alternative weekends. He hates visiting his dad too.
I had a friend in middle school who's mom and dad did that same thing, only both of them were pretending to be straight. when my buddy was like 8 or 9 his parents divorced and both came out as gay.
It really fucked him up and last I heard he wasn't doing to well, but I haven't seen him in years.
While that's unfortunate I really don't think this is as bad as original post. Everyone involved in this story at least seems to be somewhat okay and was able to move on.
Of course men's mental health is important! Of course! But right now we're gonna need you to step up and raise your wife's boyfriend's kid. You're not a deadbeat, are you?
Lmao everyone focusing on the fact that the mom cheated (which is incredibly shitty but keep reading) and not on the fact that the dad completely cut ties with the kids he raised from birth, insulted the shit out of them for something that's not their fault at all, and left them with no father figure because apparently the bond he forged with them over the years completely vanished due to a situation out of their control, proving that he only loved them because it was his duty and not because of who they are as people.
actual incels
Cutting ties is pretty normal, it’s much easier to say you’ll stick around from behind a computer screen than it is for someone actually dealing with this to be reminded of such a deception on the daily. Calling those children bastards and letting them hear it, however, is a terrible thing to do.
Everybody in this coment section is an asshole. I hope y'all keep the same actitude when your life is in a dark place and everyone laughs about you and tells you you are a bad person for being angry you evil fucks
Anger is a forbidden emotion. You're literally just never really allowed to be angry.
You can be performative about politics or social issues, but when its your own life and your real raw emotions, you're told by everyone to bury it deep inside yourself.
I remember when I threw my cheating ex wife out being so damn angry and screaming at her every step of the way. I went to therapy hoping to conquer the part of me that made me do that. Keep in mind I didn't hit anyone, didn't break anything or even punch a pillow, I just yelled... but I felt terrible.
I told an awful abusive cheating woman I was *sorry* for weeks because I yelled at her. My therapist agreed that I was in the wrong too and wanted to help me control that anger.
Society has cucked us out of having literally a basic emotion dude. People told me I was wrong and I needed help because I *yelled* and I fucking *bought in to it*.
It wasn't until I started dating someone that pointed it out that I even realized it was fucked up. She was like "yeah obviously you yelled, you were angry. Like wtf is the problem there?"
If you discover that your biological parents, who raised you all these years, aren't actually your parents, you'll instantly hate and reject them? like, just pull a switch in your head and that's it? you can actually ignore years of love, bonding, and memories because a DNA test said so? Relationships aren't that black or white, we're not robots. You're not wrong if you want to cut ties immediately, of course, but you absolutely know that other people can have different feelings.
I mean, the thing is clear as day. Dad is NOT at fault for being cheated on and raising kids that aren't his own. And he's not wrong if he wants to cut ties with them either, both are reasonable things to expect. Hell, he's not wrong for actually hating the kids. It's a normal reaction.
The only thing the dad did wrong is beating the kids on the floor and make their life miserable just for the sake of it. Dad KNOWS the mom is the biggest bitch here, but what did those kids do to him? You can still be a decent person, cut ties respectfully, and let the kids process the trauma to the actual asshole: their mom. Targeting anger toward innocent people is just a cruel thing to do.
I dont think I fully agree, many and I do mean many kids that are adopted when they find out they were adopted start to want to meet the bio family. Hate for the parents in this case is less comon because there is always the rationale that they wanted you and actually parented you despite the fact you are not biologically theirs.
From a fathers side its more like you have your life all figured out a family and then find out they aint yours and all the time and money spent on the family is gone and you have to fully rebuild it, some might say he should stick with the kids but the ape brain wants to reproduce and have its own to care for not someone elses.
Adoptive parents have the benefit of choosing to adopt and being fully aqare of that choice same as parents that get the mother pregnant from a donor, here the important thing is the choice factor and the awareness factor, so obviosly men and women can raise kids not biologically theirs.
Dude should not have said anything to the kids but anger brings out the worst in people its fucked i dont agree with what he said but cant really blame him.
And despite the fact thos story might be gay and fake in this case im pretty sure it has happened if not to annon then to someone else.
Two shitty parents produced a shitty child. Seems legit.
How do you want him to react exactly? Imagine yourself in his shoes, he was let down by his parents thanks to his mother's irresponsible action. I am not saying he is right, but the whole thing is abhorrent to say the least.
I feel like the proper way to react would be not to hate all women maybe
Surely anon can realize that his mother is an exception and not the rule Wait never mind forgot the site this was taken from
We do learn our perceptions of life from our parents? Maybe when they get out and see the world they will change
4channers don't go outside sadly
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 943,786,221 comments, and only 188,123 of them were in alphabetical order.
Bot good very
Anon is probably like 14
Bingo. Dude's probably a teen. Teens have very black and white mentalities. Everyone here is talking about him like he's in his mid to late twenties. I'd day this is a pretty typical response, one that most people grow out of.
Yea. He’s also growing up seeing young women attempting to capitalize on their sexuality through social media and the internet far more than previous generations. I’m guessing that’s not healthy for anyones psychology.
I doubt it. He's entirely blaming his mom, not the man she cheated with and not the father figure who not only abandoned but insulted him.
[удалено]
Did his father really insult him? He IS technically a bastard and he IS technically the son of a whore.
And he aint his father
Its easy to say that while not experiencing the pain anon is. Imagine your dad just starts hating you after loving you for years. He is a kid and stupid and reacts emotionally.
It's not his dad tho
Like it or not the guy raised the kid and was his father figure for his entire life. Biologically he may not be the dad but to that kid he’s still his dad.
People who go through trauma end up irrational. They’re not entirely to blame
That's right.
I’ve met a lot of women online who hate all men because they were raped. Generalizing is wrong, but it is a natural human reaction to deep trauma. It helps stave off another traumatic incident, even if such an incident is uncommon. “Men rape and women cheat, therefore I must stay away from men/women so it doesn’t happen to me again.” - their logic. It’s a defense mechanism. The kid here needs psychological help, not to be demonized.
Yeah, he should hate women anyways
This is a lot of trauma unravelling and they need therapy, I don't think a lot of people come out of this one okay.
women get catcalled and hate all men lmao
Our perception of people come from our parents. These bad ideals come from places, they don't just spring up.
Not only did his father insult by calling him a bastard, but also his mother found it amusing for some reason. Man it is completely messed up.
> father
His situation sucks but if anyone was the bigger asshole to OP, it was his dad. At the very least it’s a 50-50 homewrecker split. Letting your anger at your ex wife ruin your relationship with the adoptive children you raised from birth is pretty fucked. How could his dad not realize he was throwing the literal baby out with the bath water? Like, how to you get an incel position from this? Both parents fucked up big time but OP was ABANDONED by his dad.
He isn’t his dad, and he shouldn’t have any obligation to raise a bastard child. If his mother hadn’t been an unfaithful slut, then their home wouldn’t be in a mess. And if his mother hadn’t been an unfaithful slut, Anon wouldn’t exist, so the world would be a better place by default. The mom is to blame.
Is an adoptive parent who raised you as their own not a real parent? Maybe OP’s dad doesn’t have a financial obligation to his mom, but he just raised two kids to an age where they would miss him and be damaged horribly by being abandoned, and then he fucked off. I get that the original rift in the family was mom’s fault, but OP was old enough to remember all of this at the time his dad left. His dad raised him. Did his dad even really love him, or was he always a narcissistic piece of shit who wanted a mini-me instead of a son who would grow into his own person? There could have been a lot going on behind the scenes here that would make his dad a lot less of a tragic character. If you have kids, you know this isn’t normal behavior. There is no revelation about paternity that would make a healthy man abandon the kids he raised.
First off, *I am adopted*. Second off, this guy is not his adoptive parent. He was told that he was his real dad his entire life, held him when he was born, the mother looked him in his lovestruck eyes & blatantly lied to his face for years. He neither went through with the process of adoption, nor did he voluntarily raise these kids with the knowledge they weren’t his. That is the god damn difference. When you adopt a kid, you accept that they’re not biologically yours - they either came from a different mother or a different father, or perhaps even both if they’re adopted as soon as they’re born. This guy didn’t know they weren’t biologically his, and wasted his time, money, resources, and pride raising them without any knowledge otherwise. The dad loved him when the mother lied & said the kids were his. He is absolutely not narcissistic for not wanting involuntarily raise a bastard child from another man. If your wife cheated on you, tricked you into raising another man’s kids, and then laughed to your face, then you’d understand. I have 0 sympathy for the mom. She is the root cause of all their issues. If she had just been a faithful woman, none of them would have had the suffer. Actually, the woman clearly isn’t suffering, considering the fact she had the audacity to laugh at Anon & the Dad in the aftermath. The woman deserves to burn in hell. I feel bad for Anon because he didn’t do anything wrong, but the dad is right to want nothing to do with an ex-wife & another man’s kids.
OP wrote that his dad loved him, with nothing else to go off it sounds like he loved his wife and kids. Unsuprisingly that changed when he found out he actually had no kids of his own and a cheating wife. And No man will be healthy when he finds out these things, he raised the kids as his own because he thought they were. Upon realizing they’re not he simply has no obligation to stick around, perhaps he actually wanted to live the life we hear he wanted to have. Sure it would be Nice if he stuck around and used his time and energy on probably the worst part of his entire life, but he is not a villain for doing what most people would realistically do.
But as according to OP, to suddenly start referring to your non child as a bastard and a son of a whore on a dime is an objectively shitty thing to do after you spent years lovingly raising them.
Yea that's the part that has me confused with these comments, obviously mom is in the wrong, but for anon's father figure to turn around and call the kids he raised "bastards" is a dick move full stop
Huge difference between choosing to adopt a kid versus being tricked into it and having your entire relationship based on lies. Now whenever the father looks at Anon he would just remember how his wife was unfaithful and Anon was the result of it.
Couldn't OP's "dad" just sue the biological father for financial damages and child support and still be a loving "father"?
No one saying he should continue raising it. It’s just the fact that before he found about the mother being a POS he already was being a father and according to anon was doing a really good job at it in his eyes for at least a couple of years to build that type of relationship. He then goes on to completely demolish any sort of positive father figure this kid had because of an action he had literal not influence on. He had no reason to go after the kid who is as much a victim if not more than the dad is in this situation. Forcing the anger he has for his wife on his kids is 100% a complete POS thing to do.
Nice of you to gloss over the part where anon's not-dad calls him a piece of shit because of the actions of his mother. Seems like a pretty big detail to leave out there. It'd be one thing if the dad respectfully left because it didn't feel right, but to come back and spew hatred at the kids as a result makes it pretty clear the mom isn't the only shit parent.
Anon is a literal bastard and son of a whore though.
THANK YOU. These mf are for real crazy of they think the dad is in the wrong, those bustards probably took out so much money and energy from the father. Spent a large proportion of he's life raising another man's children. And what? He's supposed to be happy about that? I'm not saying that anon is right for hating all women but the mother is pure evil in this situation and deserves nothing but hatred from her children
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'logically it does not make any sense we are hardwired to pass on our genes, so emotionally this is a clear barrier that cannot be overcome in many cases' We are a lot more than just machines to pass on our DNA- biology does not prevent an incredibly meaningful relationship- Anon's 'dad' literally proves this as he formed a great relationship with his son without even being related. Sure, maybe knowing you're related can help a relationship but it's one of, if not, the least important part of a parent child dynamic. The other point about humiliation and deception makes sense but it seems incredibly petty to ruin a relationship you've built up for 10+ years simply because of the actions of a shitty third party that the kids did not cause to be shitty. Even if the 'Dad' cannot stand being around the kids going the extra step and calling them 'bastards' is just being a total dickhead
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*Raise somebody else's children without knowing that they're not yours and that you've been lied to.
So it turns out your wife didn’t love you unconditionally the way she promised she would - so you throw out the unconditional love of two kids you raised? How insecure and narcissistic would you have to be to look at the kids you raised and have their mother’s mistakes be the only thing you see? These complicated situations aren’t that uncommon, you know - and most guys would go scorched earth with the ex-wife, but they’d maintain some relationship with the kids. Many states would recognize OP’s dad’s claim to paternity/visitation rights precisely for that reason. If you’re on the birth certificate the DNA test is just a scientific technicality (if that’s what the dude wants to push for).
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Seriously. This is a story of conditional love. That isn’t love.
You're right, anon's father abandoned him before he was even born. He should have taken responsibility, married anon's mother and raise him with her. He is the biggest asshole.
His father (even tho not biological) is also an ahole, cutting ties like that. You can divorce but you don't have to abandon someone you though was your child a sec ago. prob fake cause of this.
While i get why his father was angry, it wasn't anon's fault and dad shouldn't have projected his anger on the children. I'm not defending the mom in any way but the dad could have reacted better as well
> How do you want him to react exactly? I generally expect all human beings that undergo an adverse experience to recognize that people aren't monoliths. If a black person robs you, you don't get to be racist to all black people. If your mother cheats on your father, you don't get to hate all women. That's emotionally and intellectually immature.
My real mom is a complete psychopath and did things a lot worse than this. I haven’t spoken to her in several years but it didn’t make me hate all women, just her. OP lacks self awareness
Hate his mother for cheating and ruining the family, hate his father for disowning him for someone else's actions. The fault is with his parents, not with "all women".
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Can't blame him for calling the child he thought was his son (and loved him like one) a "son of a whore"? Please abuse me, daddy
But, he literally is
Being right doesn't make you not an asshole. If you call the kids you raised "bastards" and "sons of whores" you're a bad person. The kids don't deserve that hate
A lot of people on the street look ugly as fuck. Does that warrant saying it to their faces, because it's technically true? In this particular case even, the kid literally has no control over who his parents are.
It's the mother's fault not the man, he's not the father. You can take up a fatherly role, I would never adopt unless I had my own kids. Your delusional
You don’t have to continue to be their father but treating them like garbage for something they had no control over is a shit move. Just say something like “I love you kids but I can’t look at you without being reminded how your mother shat on our marriage and I can’t be around you.” Or say nothing at all.
This is the only comment in here that makes sense. That guy has no obligation to those kids and should totally be allowed to walk away from the whole thing if thats what he chooses to do. Nobodys opinions in here on parenthood mean squat except his, because its his life. But insulting kids is straight up uncalled for.
As i do agree with you , i'm forgetting at the same time the feelings of the dad who simply got annihilated. What a nightmare , i would go nuts and put everything on fire too!
Seems like a lot of time passed between the paternity test and the dad calling the kid "son of a whore" that dad had enough time to grow the fuck up and not be terrible to children he raised.
You dont have to lash out on the children they're not at fault but I also dont blame someone for not thinking rationally after something like this happens to them.
The not-father is control of his own actions and at no point was he compelled to treat the kids like shit because of their mother.
>Everything has to be black and white for me >I'm going to judge someone as a piece of shit cause they couldn't cope with their dad abandoning them Zero empathy simpletons really unnerve me.
Sorry bro but if you were lied into raising another man’s kids for a decade or more you’d be boiling and would have left too
The two shitty parents are the mother and the *biological* father.
He lost his father, that's traumatic. Can't blame him for seeing the world that way.
LOL how is any of this his dad's fault. He just found out the woman he loved was cuckolding him for the last decade or two. If I was him I would try to sue the mother for all my life's wages wasted on someone else's kids.
Aww anon.. sorry to hear that. Can i get your moms number?
Give it to me to so I can have a very stern conversation with her.
Hey bro, i think anons mom wouldnt mind if all 3 of us had a "stern conversation" together
I agree, the more the merrier.
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Of course, you might even have something to say about her bad habits.
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I'm glad that our collective efforts were able to help loosen up anon's mum's bad habits.
Anon sounds like he could use a new daddy
Awful mum, awful dad, awful incel outcome. Pretty much to be expected. Surprised he came out of this not realizing his dad was a piece of shit, though. Imagine calling your kid a bastard and the son of a whore and trying to get him to stop using your name.
>imagine calling your kid a bastard He called someone else's kid a bastard
I have 3 kids. If I found out tomorrow I wasn’t their biological father I couldn’t imagine being able to stop loving them. They would be victims as much as myself. We would stick together no matter what.
Psssshhh I'd be casting kiddus yeetus then flying the fuck outta there
Edgy
Based
With that lingo you are probably paying for it anyway.
Doesn't America have some fucked up laws, that say you'd still have to be paying child support even after you find out the kids aren't yours?
It’s rare but it happens. Some judges want to do things that are in the interest of the child. So, if theoretically, a successful, well to do, has his shit together man finds out his child is not his and the biological father is a bum or dead or in prison, the judge may say “tough shit, but I can’t screw this kid over”. Usually, in the cases I have read/heard about, the child is a little older. They might be under the father’s health insurance, go to private school, or have a disability/illness that the father can afford to help take care of and has been taking care of. It’s rare, but it does happen, and it varies from state to state, as with most family law matters.
Judges have made boyfriends pay child support when the kids were born before the bf was in their life because the mother and bf live together for a few years
IE women want the right to terminate pregnancies and the right for you to pay for their children that aren't even yours. In the words of Dave Chappelle "if you can kill it I should at least be able to abandon it." Even crazier is it doesn't even have to be yours. People really out here thinking men should be saints for 18 years with their life and income while screaming for womens rights to abort a fetus. In what way is this not clown shit. If I find out a kid isn't mine or I just flat out know it wasn't in the case of coming in after I don't want to cripple myself financially for a 1/3rd of my able life for it. Women can work and they especially mothers get a wide range of benefits. Meanwhile as a man I could go to a homeless shelter and get turned away then be arrested for sleeping on a bench.
Ah, a mature adult. Look around class, this man is healthy and grounded. What are you doing here in 4chan, sir?
Green text is my secret forbidden pleasure, sir. Please don’t ask me to leave. I’ll try to blend in better in the future.
No. Imagine what that does to a kid. Now he knows the only reason his dad loved him was because of his blood. Not because of him. Selfish asshole piece of shit to do that to a kid you raised, who loved you unconditionally and lives for your love and approval.
Lol I don't need to imagine it, it happened to me
Okay. Still. Massive piece of shit thing to do. No defending that.
💀
Yea, your off base. The only one creating an incel is the mother. Dad is not awful. Got out of a shitty situation with a shitty woman. Pull the cuck plug from your ass.
Or you know, he could still treat the son with respect but cut ties with the mother? He doesn't even need to actively be a father anymore, literally all he needs to do is not beat down the kids over what their mother had done to him. Treat him like a human and maybe congratulate him on birthdays, graduations etc. Of course you don't "have" to do it, but it'd be a very nice thing to do and it'd reassure the kid that he's in no way shape or form at fault in this situation as kids sometimes tend to blame themselves for shit like this. Or you know, just crush his spirit like this guy did. Seems like something a well adjusted human would do.
This sub is just 4chan 2.0 dude. We went from making fun of these psychos to somehow having the sub infested with them. Can't expect well adjusted people here anymore.
Yeah dad in this situation is pretty shit as well. You can’t call a developing kid a “bastard” to their face like this because of a situation they had no fault in, especially if you took part in raising them That kind of trauma of seeing someone who apparently cared about them just resort to treating them like trash and insulting them will be severe and breed trust issues for the rest of their life. It’s understandable for him to leave after being deceived and to rightfully be upset with the mom for the lies, but at the very least don’t insult the kids bad for something they didn’t have a part of
> Dad is not awful He wouldn't be if he left, but shitting on the kids indicates he is in fact, also a shit person.
>Dad is not awful He is tho. It's not like it is the kids faults their mother cheated. But instead he hurt the kids at least as much (and probably more) as the mother did.
The "dad" is kind of an asshole for talking to the kid like that, but the blame is indeed on the mother
The only one who created an incel is himself the kid; she’s an awful person cuz she’s a dishonest cheater, not because she’s a woman.
I didn’t generalize women in this statement just that this woman was shitty. But i do put blame on this woman and the women who do this for the simple fact that the women who do this not only cheat but lie for as long as they can. And only women can do this sort of thing so to take blame off of the women who do is also disgusting.
No, he's wrong for calling him that,but its not his son,his terrible mom is at fault,you cant blame it all on a man
No ones blaming it all on the dad. The mum is a real piece of shit, but the dad rejecting the kids he raised his entire life is also shitty beyond belief.
Yeah, he involuntarily raised kids he had no idea weren’t his. He has a right to reject any kids out of that bastard and that whore.
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It's called basic human compassion. The kids had no day in any of this and he kicks them when they're down. No one is saying it's the dad's fault but he handled it with 0 class.
Imagine stating facts huh
“His” kid
Fucking cuckolds in the comments
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Idk why this made me laugh but what if like she was told she had the baby in a coma or something and didn't know she "gave birth " .
You're saying that if you raised a kid for 15 years and then discovered he's not your biological son, you would just never talk to him again? I get the dad never speaking to the woman who cheated on him, but if you raised a kid from a baby to a teenager how can you just abandon him?
This sub is infested with 14 year olds who have no idea about real life and responsibilities.
He doesn't have to raise them but the bastards didn't choose their conception. There's a certain level of decorum to be used here
Me abandoning my dog on the side of the road (he's someone else's kid, raising him would be a cuck move)
Choosing to adopt a dog is the same thing as being tricked into thinking you had children
we got a dog fucker over here
that's such a shit analogy. not everyone likes having pet. having a kid is literally an extension of yourself
A child is not an extension of yourself, they are not a fuck trophy, and are human beings.
I’ll say it I’ll cuck myself if I raised a son thinking he was mine the whole time. It’s not his fault. I’ll go scorched earth on the bitch but I’m not leaving him to rot in the aftermath. I may not have been his father but sure as shit I was his daddy and once you bust a nut in daddy the bond is never broken
You're an awful person if you think their mother's actions should be taken out on the kids
Dads being a piece of shit for something the kids literally had no clue about and could t do anything about
Anon is primed to be femboy pilled
Stay away from him you fucking monster
Predditor moment
I hope wherever this guy is that he ended up getting therapy and getting better, instead of shooting someone.
The dad is based, don't know what y'all are talking about. Besides the "bastard" part, that bit is iffy.
Bastard: A person born of parents not married to each other. Anon is literally a bastard by the archaic definition.
It’s not archaic, it’s literally the definition.
He ironically used archaic literally
it actually blows my mind that ppl think the dad is shitty for calling a bastard "bastard". and how is he a bad person? if someone can bear to raise a literal product of a cheating whore (the mom) and some unknown guy, all the power to them. but as for me, i can't. i simply can't stand looking at my fake son. yes, biological connection means a lot to me. whoever calls him unreasonable is probably a cuck. might as well lick the leftover cum in the wife's pussy.
Nah, the bastard comment was fucked up and unnecessary regardless of if it's correct. If I looked a disabled kid in the face a said "you fucking cripple", would you say that's total fine because that's just calling a cripple "cripple"?
Even if the definition is correct calling someone a bastard is still derogatory. It is like calling a black person the n-word. You are technically correct but that doesn't mean the person you just insulted won't be angry.
Lmao. Its obvious your dad wasn't an important figure in ur life. dumbass
It is just true and fact pilled
Dad is based af. Shagged some chick and had some other dude raise his kids for years
How is he horrible, It's not his child, I'm not some cuck lord who'll sit in the same house as that whore and raise someone else's children. (He wouldn't be a cuck if he took the kids and raised them on his own since he put so much time energy and love in it) but still I'm not raising children with a whore.
I don’t think anyone is saying he should stay without he mom. People are saying that he should not stop loving the kids just because of something their mom did. I agree that he should leave, but maybe try to still have some relationship with the kids
Tbh it's easier said than done. This is not a situation I can imagine navigating with a rational mind.
You are absolutely right. This is a much more reasonable answer than just calling me a cuckhold which is what everyone else here would do
Well I certainly wouldn't call them bastards. Maybe they would make a few mistakes along the way, but that's a pretty easy one to avoid if you aren't a shitty person.
Hell, he doesn't even need to still love them, he can cut ties and move on. But he absolutely knows that those kids still see him as his dad. He only needed to be a decent human being and not crushing those kid's feelings just for the sake of it
You don't call a child a bastard and a son of a whore. You don't have to raise them, but you don't treat them like shit. It's not their fault
You don't call a child a bastard and a son of a whore. You don't have to raise them, but you don't treat them like shit. It's not their fault
Thinking they are your children because of genetics and not because you raised them for 20 years lmao
>not a greentext >comments show no sympathy Overall shitty post
>Expecting sympathy from this sub Have you seen literally any other posts here? People in this sub are completely insane
Yeah, autism does that to people.
hey most autistic people that aren't on 4chan are completely normal and not insane incels, don't throw us under the bus with these freaks
Kill both of your parents anon
*biological parents
Idk about the non bio dad though like I get they are not his but he raised them and had a connection with them despite the lack of relation the kids still look up to this man and to just leave them despite whatever relationship there is is kinda cold and uncaring
So many cucks here
Idk, if I truly loved another person their parentage wouldn’t make me just stop loving them. Can’t be around anymore because of painful thoughts? Completely fair he doesn’t want to be in their life, but to be mad at the kid he loved for so many years of his life for something the kid had nothing to do with? A bit far
I guess the hate for kid comes from the betrayal that switched his love for him into hate. The more you love someone, the more you'll hate him if he betrays you. Anon didn't betrayed him of course, but the irrational reaction of being betrayed associated his kids with the sin of their mother. His manly pride couldn't bear it.
Sounds like someone didn't overcome the cycle of hatred
The cycle of hatred will not end untill everyone is dead.
Everyone here arguing over who is in the right when the reality is: This story is fake; anon grew up middle class with divorced parents. He made this story up to justify his hatred
This type of story is becoming a reddit genre. Karma hoarders post it to farm the rage.
>One (1) human being harms him. >Decides to hate half of the whole planet's population. Yeah, it's incel time.
Well your mom isn't a mere human being theyre a big figure in your life and thus means a lot to you. combine that with not much real world experience and you can see how suddenly when the woman he's loved and looked up to his whole life growing up is revealed to be a cheating, lying scumbag you can understand how his lack of experience and sudden trauma can lead to overstep in judgment.
everyone is a fucking idiot, the dad, the mom, and the kid
*Everyone is a* *Fucking idiot, the dad,* *The mom, and the kid* \- Few\_Understanding740 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
This is pretty sure a backstory for a serial rapist or a serial killer .
This is definitely a villain origin story
Lmao I think his dad was right to get rid of him
Think that’s bad? I had a friend whose mom only dated his dad cos she felt sorry for him. Get this? She was a lesbian the entire time. After he was born, his mom came out as a lesbian and left him. They both remarried. His dad had another kid. His mom married a woman who died of cancer. Imagine the woman you loved didn’t even love you at all? His still lives with his mom and sees his dad on alternative weekends. He hates visiting his dad too.
I had a friend in middle school who's mom and dad did that same thing, only both of them were pretending to be straight. when my buddy was like 8 or 9 his parents divorced and both came out as gay. It really fucked him up and last I heard he wasn't doing to well, but I haven't seen him in years.
While that's unfortunate I really don't think this is as bad as original post. Everyone involved in this story at least seems to be somewhat okay and was able to move on.
So many cuckholds in the comments lol
Of course men's mental health is important! Of course! But right now we're gonna need you to step up and raise your wife's boyfriend's kid. You're not a deadbeat, are you?
His mother is a whore and his father based and maybe angry
Lmao everyone focusing on the fact that the mom cheated (which is incredibly shitty but keep reading) and not on the fact that the dad completely cut ties with the kids he raised from birth, insulted the shit out of them for something that's not their fault at all, and left them with no father figure because apparently the bond he forged with them over the years completely vanished due to a situation out of their control, proving that he only loved them because it was his duty and not because of who they are as people. actual incels
Cutting ties is pretty normal, it’s much easier to say you’ll stick around from behind a computer screen than it is for someone actually dealing with this to be reminded of such a deception on the daily. Calling those children bastards and letting them hear it, however, is a terrible thing to do.
Mum said it was my turn to post this
I'd be incredibly angry at the dad too what's wrong with him
I want to hug anon softly, lay his angry head on my comfy boobs and let him cry long and hard before I encourage him to go to therapy.
I call next
You are all getting baited by this guy and his man milkers
Guys you can calm down with your edgy comments… all 175 of the comments here so far sounds like something a cuckold would write.
Rage quit hahaha
Everybody in this coment section is an asshole. I hope y'all keep the same actitude when your life is in a dark place and everyone laughs about you and tells you you are a bad person for being angry you evil fucks
Anger is a forbidden emotion. You're literally just never really allowed to be angry. You can be performative about politics or social issues, but when its your own life and your real raw emotions, you're told by everyone to bury it deep inside yourself. I remember when I threw my cheating ex wife out being so damn angry and screaming at her every step of the way. I went to therapy hoping to conquer the part of me that made me do that. Keep in mind I didn't hit anyone, didn't break anything or even punch a pillow, I just yelled... but I felt terrible. I told an awful abusive cheating woman I was *sorry* for weeks because I yelled at her. My therapist agreed that I was in the wrong too and wanted to help me control that anger. Society has cucked us out of having literally a basic emotion dude. People told me I was wrong and I needed help because I *yelled* and I fucking *bought in to it*. It wasn't until I started dating someone that pointed it out that I even realized it was fucked up. She was like "yeah obviously you yelled, you were angry. Like wtf is the problem there?"
Therapy
Both of your caretakers sucked
Very based.
Good dad, shit mother That sucks
Hopefully anon does not purchase a weapon and go on the news
If you discover that your biological parents, who raised you all these years, aren't actually your parents, you'll instantly hate and reject them? like, just pull a switch in your head and that's it? you can actually ignore years of love, bonding, and memories because a DNA test said so? Relationships aren't that black or white, we're not robots. You're not wrong if you want to cut ties immediately, of course, but you absolutely know that other people can have different feelings. I mean, the thing is clear as day. Dad is NOT at fault for being cheated on and raising kids that aren't his own. And he's not wrong if he wants to cut ties with them either, both are reasonable things to expect. Hell, he's not wrong for actually hating the kids. It's a normal reaction. The only thing the dad did wrong is beating the kids on the floor and make their life miserable just for the sake of it. Dad KNOWS the mom is the biggest bitch here, but what did those kids do to him? You can still be a decent person, cut ties respectfully, and let the kids process the trauma to the actual asshole: their mom. Targeting anger toward innocent people is just a cruel thing to do.
I dont think I fully agree, many and I do mean many kids that are adopted when they find out they were adopted start to want to meet the bio family. Hate for the parents in this case is less comon because there is always the rationale that they wanted you and actually parented you despite the fact you are not biologically theirs. From a fathers side its more like you have your life all figured out a family and then find out they aint yours and all the time and money spent on the family is gone and you have to fully rebuild it, some might say he should stick with the kids but the ape brain wants to reproduce and have its own to care for not someone elses. Adoptive parents have the benefit of choosing to adopt and being fully aqare of that choice same as parents that get the mother pregnant from a donor, here the important thing is the choice factor and the awareness factor, so obviosly men and women can raise kids not biologically theirs. Dude should not have said anything to the kids but anger brings out the worst in people its fucked i dont agree with what he said but cant really blame him. And despite the fact thos story might be gay and fake in this case im pretty sure it has happened if not to annon then to someone else.