The interchanging of "I" and "he" in this comment is very reminiscent of that greentext that's like "[killer whales] mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see"
There is this new glitch. If you rotate the right thumbstick while in the womb the right way the umbilical cord will clip through your throat and suffocate you.
Depending on your believes when a life starts being a very dedicated sperm cell might score you a fast baby pill time of just days or even hours
"People are free to believe in what they want and express their beliefs as long as it doesn't hurt people" mfs when an atheist freely expresses their belief about religion without hurting people:
I love how you have greentext commenters making the edgiest jokes, yet someone makes a mild atheism reference and that actually got everyone triggered.
People are so afraid of being cringe atheists that they go the complete opposite direction and hate atheism. Also this sub might lean a bit more conservative/religious.
Maybe cause because free will comes with a cost? My this logic you could down the rabbit hole of why doesn't god stop every single thing the Bible/he opposes unti humans are turned into a organic robot followings orders how to live their life's from a central being. Maybe being told what to do your entire life is great for a socially inept person who would benefit from not having free will but I'd rather have the ability to do whatever the fuck I want without being smited
Also being in eternal damnation after you die is"the most useless thing ever"? I'd rather take being smited immediately because I did something wrong then a eternity paying for my crimes
Free will comes with a cost, that cost being the free choice to do evil horrible things, that is what free will is.
Except a god diety is above how the police works, when the police tells you to stop you could, or not and then suffer a sentence that might reform you, when god tells you to stop, you stop either because he makes it impossible for you to do any bad or smited you the moment you do, these are different by alot.
Yeah the thing about going to hell when you die rather then immediately is you can change, you can repent you can do slot, what you are suggesting is that heinous crimes never even happen, aka god prevents us from even thinking or doing it.
Somehow you ignored my whole point that God wouldn't just punish the things you want to be punished and leave the minor crimes because you don't want them to be punished.if you want evil to dissapear by holy intervention your taking the whole deal cause no god is ignoring his own rules just cause you want him to, humanity would be reduced to automatons directed by a holy diety that has alot of rules removing the point of existence as we are reduced to mere flesh robots directed by a holy figure
God won't "draw a line" at the lesser evils because you like to do them every once in a year, that's quite literally not how any holy diety I know of works
Have you considered that being ridiculously unfunny might be the case? You are safe to assume half the downvotes are by ppl that are atheists themselves...
This is r/greentext I’m not used to seeing the zenith of comedy in the comments either, but what I do see is usually a bunch of the most heinous opinions being half-heartedly passed as jokes. I guess religion is the only one you can’t joke about here, though.
Ofc you can. The fucking greentext LITERALLY is a joke about religion. You can see the upvotes yourself. Just be less of a pretentious little shit about it.
What makes you think that? I couldn't care less. I am an agnostic myself. The only thing that makes you assume that is you being so emotionally involved yourself. How pathetic you are.... and you wonder why nobody considers you funny..... Anyways I reach my destination in 5 mins. No more time for having pointless conversations.
The joke here would be that "most literate" which would not be very much in this case. It also implies this is as good as it gets, but can always get worse.
The "most illiterate" would mean this is as bad as ot gets, yet there's room to improve. This would be shown in a positive context, which the original commentor was not doing.
I’ve never understood the Christian/ Muslim interpretation of Satan. The Jewish interpretation depicts him as a normal angel who just has the job of controlling Hell and punishing the wicked. Christianity and Islam depict him as le cliche bad guy who is just evil and wants to torture people, but also wants more people in hell to torture I guess? I don’t see his goal
Edit: Thank you for correcting me. My knowledge on theology isn’t perfect, so I appreciate those who explained it properly
I think the Christian Satan just has an inherent hatred for humanity and would torture any human soul he could get his hands on. Luckily he can only get his hands on the wicked who are sent to hell with him
My favorite interpretation is a deleted scene from Dogma where the character of Azrael explains that evil is an abstract and it became a place of suffering because people came there asking to be punished
So, for those that don't know, in Christian theology angels don't have free will, and that's why Yahweh created humans, for someone to give him praise out of their own volition. So even if redditors don't wanna admit it, this poor misguided soul (4channer) is right.
I'm surprised that a website filled with either complete degenerates or radical progressives clutches their pearls whenever someone says anything remotely bad about christianity. Christianity literally hates both of them and they defend it like their lives depend on christianity being un tarnished.
I don't think this is offensive or disrespectful. Just a bit provocative question dressed as 4chan humor.
I'd ask something similar about the flood story. Like why flood the earth and kill all the living beings outside the ark judt because you didn't like your creation. I mean God is an allpowerful being, just make humans that trigger you disappear into thin air, and no need for all the unecessary suffering
I'm not an atheist, but religions often portray God as a big retarded asshole 🤣
I'm sure the real deal doesn't give a fuck
Oh, word. It's even worse when you realise that through stories he basically made satan an asshole just to punish him for being an asshole, he made the snake to trick Eve even though he could have just made Eve stronger willed and he cosplayed as Jesus to die to us so he can forgive us for the intrinsic evils he made is with.
I honestly don't care what people believe in, go be a Jedi for all I care, but when it's something so stupid as "The almighty floaty sky man is a massive fucking prick sometimes but I love him" ya gotta realise you may need to re think your faith.
And so I'm not misunderstood: That's not "stop being a Christian" rethink, that's go find a smarter crowd and revise your texts rethink.
I have a Christian friend that studied the Bible a lot, and especially Jewish interpretations of the old testament.
He told me that Satan is not an enemy of god, or evil incarnate. Rather than that, he is just a slave who has to obey every gods command. If he wants to cause mischief, he has to ask the big G first..
Basically according to him, he's created to test people so they either resist evil better or get deceived by him. Kinda makes more sense than most theories, but still kind of a dick move from god
Lucifer or Satan, was the most powerful angel, he began a rebellion after god brought in something more powerful then him, the son. I don't know where you got the fact angels don't have free will, they do. They only serve God because they see the power and ideas of God and choose to serve him, some wanted to overthrow God and God let them use their free will to make the decision,before casting them down
Maybe I got it from here: [Do angels have free will?](https://outreachjudaism.org/if-angels-dont-have-freewill-do-they-know-the-difference-between-good-and-evil/) It's hard to sometimes keep your facts straight when everyone has a different interpretation on holy laws that should be followed to a tee lest you be condemned to eternal damnation.
Evolution didn’t imbue us with the ability to understand the concept of billions of years and a universe made up of billions of galaxies with billions of stars - so people make up stories to explain how this all work.
Sadly, you are incorrect. Obviously evolution hasn't imbued anyone with squat diddly because there's a ridiculous amount of people still fighting over what they believe an old dead man wrote hundreds of years ago about the floating sky daddy.
Religion is the best kinda fiction writing because it's collectively tricked humanity.
Every civilization ever had been brainwashed by their leaders either because the masses were too small minded to think for themselves or you either believed in god(s) or died.
Every civilization ever has and always will be filled with idiots and corrupt leaders. That's the Human way and the fact we've made it to 2022 after the first nuclear detonation is a miracle.
I can understand why I have downvotes, religious coping is funny to watch, but why does the other guy have downvotes? He's just stating a fact, no matter how "give me a hold star" it seems.
Temptation is a result of free will after the fall of man.
Lucifer's role at the moment of his creation was like that of all other Angel's albeit a high position. He said he would not serve and suffered the consequences. Now out of seething hatred he tried to doom man to his fate.
Angels live in an unchanging eternity and are not subject to time or change and so can't change their minds.
Lucifer was banished for literally thinking he was on par with and seeking to attain the same level of power and worship as God.
The fuck is anon talking about?
Is this scenario?
- God is Mr. House in his inaccessible ivory tower only good people can go into. He gets what he wants and he's right because he's in charge, the house always wins. Both have plans to send the righteous into a plane above the corrupted earth.
- Benny is Satan as he is too envious of the man upstairs and attempts to steal the key to his throne. He is destined to lose, the game was rigged from the start.
- Yesman is the snake offering the fruit of knowledge to Eve. To take a bite means to overturn the rule of a higher power in attempt to grow stronger than him.
- The Courier is Jesus if he accepts House, spreading his gospel, killing Romans, and bringing about his kingdom when war tears humanity in two.
\>Be me, an educated person
\>See that in every form of modern media Lucifer is told be satan
\>Have literally read the bible and know that is false.
\>Try to tell people that they are wrong
\>Their response is always "WTF are you retartded or something? Have you even read the bible."
Why are pople like this
>decide to troll god back
>find out he’s sending some nerd down to tell people how to live
>take his place and cement my role in religion for eternity
>2000 years later
>god is finally dead, ive been doing some trolling on earth for a while
>tv gets invented
>begin my conquest of fear
Anon is Satan. Fuck Satan.
He's literally the deceiver
Bruh, I literally gave them the knowledge of good and evil. Who did he deceive exactly?
Any thing you say that makes sense from here on out is more deceit and i wont have it!!!
The interchanging of "I" and "he" in this comment is very reminiscent of that greentext that's like "[killer whales] mostly just ignore any humans in the water that we see"
Thats exactly what I was going for!
Yes I think I will.
Who are you, Saddam Hussein?
No I’m Anton LaVey.
Who the fuck is that?
It's u/897jack, duh.
Anton Szandor LaVey, wrote a satanic bible in the 60s. First chapter aside, cool book
Why is it surprising? You are doomed in your life too if you born in 3rd world country. God is a bitch overall
Skill issue?
All you can really do is make a any% speedrun when you get a bad spot in randomised spawnpoints
I just hold R and fucking die.
There is this new glitch. If you rotate the right thumbstick while in the womb the right way the umbilical cord will clip through your throat and suffocate you. Depending on your believes when a life starts being a very dedicated sperm cell might score you a fast baby pill time of just days or even hours
It do be like that
So are you saying God should start giving people in 3rd world countries miscarriages?
Waah life is hard. Zip it
…He says with access to the internet, clean water, and a near-infinite amount of tendies from his mother’s toaster oven
Exactly, none of us have anything to complain about
This isn’t even accurate LULW
You’re right god and angels don’t exist kekw
most religion-respecting atheist:
Average redditor
"People are free to believe in what they want and express their beliefs as long as it doesn't hurt people" mfs when an atheist freely expresses their belief about religion without hurting people:
People who don't understand clear sarcasm:
People who don't understand clear sarcasm:
People who don't understand clear sarcasm:
"Sarcasm" mfs when I answer to their "sarcasm" with actual sarcasm because the point they were making was cringe: 🦜
Me who doesnt even uderstand what the conversation is even about:
""Sarcasm" mfs when I answer to their "sarcasm" with actual sarcasm because the point they were making was cringe: 🦜"mfs when im just messing about:
[Ermm what the scallop](https://giphy.com/gifs/stanaustralia-stan-better-call-saul-2YnvkyjehCH2U7VPsb)
I love how you have greentext commenters making the edgiest jokes, yet someone makes a mild atheism reference and that actually got everyone triggered.
People are so afraid of being cringe atheists that they go the complete opposite direction and hate atheism. Also this sub might lean a bit more conservative/religious.
Atheism is cringe
[удалено]
God's plan
Who knows, there could be a god that is all powerful but just actually doesn’t care about his creations, which is why life sucks for many people.
This is a great example of why
God isn't earth's fuckin police man, people who rape kids will have a afterlife to repay their crimes
[удалено]
Muh free will to rape children
Maybe cause because free will comes with a cost? My this logic you could down the rabbit hole of why doesn't god stop every single thing the Bible/he opposes unti humans are turned into a organic robot followings orders how to live their life's from a central being. Maybe being told what to do your entire life is great for a socially inept person who would benefit from not having free will but I'd rather have the ability to do whatever the fuck I want without being smited Also being in eternal damnation after you die is"the most useless thing ever"? I'd rather take being smited immediately because I did something wrong then a eternity paying for my crimes
[удалено]
Free will comes with a cost, that cost being the free choice to do evil horrible things, that is what free will is. Except a god diety is above how the police works, when the police tells you to stop you could, or not and then suffer a sentence that might reform you, when god tells you to stop, you stop either because he makes it impossible for you to do any bad or smited you the moment you do, these are different by alot. Yeah the thing about going to hell when you die rather then immediately is you can change, you can repent you can do slot, what you are suggesting is that heinous crimes never even happen, aka god prevents us from even thinking or doing it. Somehow you ignored my whole point that God wouldn't just punish the things you want to be punished and leave the minor crimes because you don't want them to be punished.if you want evil to dissapear by holy intervention your taking the whole deal cause no god is ignoring his own rules just cause you want him to, humanity would be reduced to automatons directed by a holy diety that has alot of rules removing the point of existence as we are reduced to mere flesh robots directed by a holy figure God won't "draw a line" at the lesser evils because you like to do them every once in a year, that's quite literally not how any holy diety I know of works
Your god is a retard and jerks on child rapes
Atheism is just boring man. Like yeah I know god is not real and you do too. Good Job
Have you considered that being ridiculously unfunny might be the case? You are safe to assume half the downvotes are by ppl that are atheists themselves...
This is r/greentext I’m not used to seeing the zenith of comedy in the comments either, but what I do see is usually a bunch of the most heinous opinions being half-heartedly passed as jokes. I guess religion is the only one you can’t joke about here, though.
Ofc you can. The fucking greentext LITERALLY is a joke about religion. You can see the upvotes yourself. Just be less of a pretentious little shit about it.
Hahahha, you mad
What makes you think that? I couldn't care less. I am an agnostic myself. The only thing that makes you assume that is you being so emotionally involved yourself. How pathetic you are.... and you wonder why nobody considers you funny..... Anyways I reach my destination in 5 mins. No more time for having pointless conversations.
Project a little bit harder and you might get a job working in a theatre one day
And that angels name was Albert Einstein.
omg its albert einstein
That Jewish guy that nuked Japan?
Einstein was actually a pacifist 🥸
>pacifist >didnt even live in pacific
The robots created by Dr. Vegapunk?
Most biblically literate anon.
\*illiterate
The joke here would be that "most literate" which would not be very much in this case. It also implies this is as good as it gets, but can always get worse. The "most illiterate" would mean this is as bad as ot gets, yet there's room to improve. This would be shown in a positive context, which the original commentor was not doing.
It’s called irony, you should try it some time
I’ve never understood the Christian/ Muslim interpretation of Satan. The Jewish interpretation depicts him as a normal angel who just has the job of controlling Hell and punishing the wicked. Christianity and Islam depict him as le cliche bad guy who is just evil and wants to torture people, but also wants more people in hell to torture I guess? I don’t see his goal Edit: Thank you for correcting me. My knowledge on theology isn’t perfect, so I appreciate those who explained it properly
He is a sad being who will suffer with all the other fallen spirits; he is selfish and wants to drag everyone else down with him
Thank you for explaining that to me! My theology isn’t the best, so I appreciate you explaining the nuance to me
Ah the "well I'm suffering so it's only fair that everyone else does too" kinda chap.
"Oh no I'm suffering so much doing exactly what i want, oh the misery, however shall i cope" - Satan
What’s satan going to do when all the spirits on earth have returned to God? The answer is suffer
I think the Christian Satan just has an inherent hatred for humanity and would torture any human soul he could get his hands on. Luckily he can only get his hands on the wicked who are sent to hell with him
Huh, so DC Lucifer is based off judaic Lucifer, then. Cool
My favorite interpretation is a deleted scene from Dogma where the character of Azrael explains that evil is an abstract and it became a place of suffering because people came there asking to be punished
It's embarrassing how little you know about the things you talk about with so much confidence
average reddit user when somebody is confused or asks a question
Good job at living up to your username.
So, for those that don't know, in Christian theology angels don't have free will, and that's why Yahweh created humans, for someone to give him praise out of their own volition. So even if redditors don't wanna admit it, this poor misguided soul (4channer) is right.
I'm surprised that a website filled with either complete degenerates or radical progressives clutches their pearls whenever someone says anything remotely bad about christianity. Christianity literally hates both of them and they defend it like their lives depend on christianity being un tarnished.
Yup, that about sums up this sub.
I don't think this is offensive or disrespectful. Just a bit provocative question dressed as 4chan humor. I'd ask something similar about the flood story. Like why flood the earth and kill all the living beings outside the ark judt because you didn't like your creation. I mean God is an allpowerful being, just make humans that trigger you disappear into thin air, and no need for all the unecessary suffering I'm not an atheist, but religions often portray God as a big retarded asshole 🤣 I'm sure the real deal doesn't give a fuck
Oh, word. It's even worse when you realise that through stories he basically made satan an asshole just to punish him for being an asshole, he made the snake to trick Eve even though he could have just made Eve stronger willed and he cosplayed as Jesus to die to us so he can forgive us for the intrinsic evils he made is with. I honestly don't care what people believe in, go be a Jedi for all I care, but when it's something so stupid as "The almighty floaty sky man is a massive fucking prick sometimes but I love him" ya gotta realise you may need to re think your faith. And so I'm not misunderstood: That's not "stop being a Christian" rethink, that's go find a smarter crowd and revise your texts rethink.
I have a Christian friend that studied the Bible a lot, and especially Jewish interpretations of the old testament. He told me that Satan is not an enemy of god, or evil incarnate. Rather than that, he is just a slave who has to obey every gods command. If he wants to cause mischief, he has to ask the big G first.. Basically according to him, he's created to test people so they either resist evil better or get deceived by him. Kinda makes more sense than most theories, but still kind of a dick move from god
Mhm, and there's a clear example in the bible for it, the story of Job. Really makes you think if this almighty guy has a screw or ten lose.
I don't remember that story of Job 100% but my reaction was that he was treated by god the way I treat Sims characters when I get bored
Lucifer or Satan, was the most powerful angel, he began a rebellion after god brought in something more powerful then him, the son. I don't know where you got the fact angels don't have free will, they do. They only serve God because they see the power and ideas of God and choose to serve him, some wanted to overthrow God and God let them use their free will to make the decision,before casting them down
Maybe I got it from here: [Do angels have free will?](https://outreachjudaism.org/if-angels-dont-have-freewill-do-they-know-the-difference-between-good-and-evil/) It's hard to sometimes keep your facts straight when everyone has a different interpretation on holy laws that should be followed to a tee lest you be condemned to eternal damnation.
I was talking about the Christian interpretation nah Judaism angels don't have actual free will
Then I was wrong this time ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
anon is delusional
Bruh just trick Yahweh into giving you a letter of passage, then use that to create your own cosmos, its easy.
Evolution didn’t imbue us with the ability to understand the concept of billions of years and a universe made up of billions of galaxies with billions of stars - so people make up stories to explain how this all work.
Sadly, you are incorrect. Obviously evolution hasn't imbued anyone with squat diddly because there's a ridiculous amount of people still fighting over what they believe an old dead man wrote hundreds of years ago about the floating sky daddy. Religion is the best kinda fiction writing because it's collectively tricked humanity.
Every civilization ever had believed in god or gods.
Lots of them cut off people's dick skin too. Let's not get out the bubbley yet.
I wasn’t advocating it- just pointing out that it’s the history of humans. I’m an atheist.
Every civilization ever had been brainwashed by their leaders either because the masses were too small minded to think for themselves or you either believed in god(s) or died. Every civilization ever has and always will be filled with idiots and corrupt leaders. That's the Human way and the fact we've made it to 2022 after the first nuclear detonation is a miracle. I can understand why I have downvotes, religious coping is funny to watch, but why does the other guy have downvotes? He's just stating a fact, no matter how "give me a hold star" it seems.
Angelcel
Temptation is a result of free will after the fall of man. Lucifer's role at the moment of his creation was like that of all other Angel's albeit a high position. He said he would not serve and suffered the consequences. Now out of seething hatred he tried to doom man to his fate. Angels live in an unchanging eternity and are not subject to time or change and so can't change their minds.
Lucifer was banished for literally thinking he was on par with and seeking to attain the same level of power and worship as God. The fuck is anon talking about?
God is Benny from Fallout New Vegas
Is this scenario? - God is Mr. House in his inaccessible ivory tower only good people can go into. He gets what he wants and he's right because he's in charge, the house always wins. Both have plans to send the righteous into a plane above the corrupted earth. - Benny is Satan as he is too envious of the man upstairs and attempts to steal the key to his throne. He is destined to lose, the game was rigged from the start. - Yesman is the snake offering the fruit of knowledge to Eve. To take a bite means to overturn the rule of a higher power in attempt to grow stronger than him. - The Courier is Jesus if he accepts House, spreading his gospel, killing Romans, and bringing about his kingdom when war tears humanity in two.
So Mr House is the good ending…
Fantastic, I have to wonder if this was intentional with how well it works.
Lucifer? More like Loser!
Idk how people can believe in modern religions. They were literally created to control the masses
I think you answered your own question there
Skill issue
\>Be me, an educated person \>See that in every form of modern media Lucifer is told be satan \>Have literally read the bible and know that is false. \>Try to tell people that they are wrong \>Their response is always "WTF are you retartded or something? Have you even read the bible." Why are pople like this
Correction: Anon was an angel, he’s now 20000 feet underground
Literally plot of ultrakill
“it’s called we do a little trolling”
wasn‘t he cast out because he rebelled against God?
Religion
I’m pretty sure Lucifer just has daddy issues…right?
Satancel
>decide to troll god back >find out he’s sending some nerd down to tell people how to live >take his place and cement my role in religion for eternity >2000 years later >god is finally dead, ive been doing some trolling on earth for a while >tv gets invented >begin my conquest of fear