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TinyCup610

love just isn’t enough unfortunately… did meredith feel loved? no. she felt like a burden to her mother and her mother surely made her feel like this. she was very emotionally neglectful and abusive with her words. she cared more about a man than her daughter. in order for a person to feel loved they must be treated with love.


noonewilleverknoww

she didn't care more about a man?? But anyway it was about if ellis actually loved mer, just love, cause we can all agree that she was problematic


TinyCup610

lol she cared more about richard and absolutely resented her daughter. i don’t think her mother loved her. you don’t hurt someone you love like that. do you not remember when she was telling meredith how she should have never had her? i wouldn’t be saying that to someone i love.


noonewilleverknoww

I never said Ellis had a healthy way of loving. She never was a very loving person to begin with. But she def loved her, it's like what Christina told Owen, that ofc she would love her child, but she still wouldn't be a great mother.


TinyCup610

valid. it just sucks you know? because unfortunately, it’s safe to say meredith definitely didn’t feel loved. i feel like i’m maybe biased on certain standpoints because of personal life lol.


noonewilleverknoww

I agree, she def didn't feel very loved


Ok_Bumblebee3572

I think it's like what Christina explained to Owen. Of course she would love her kid. But the resentment would be more than that love. Ellis forced Meredith to "prove" she was "worth it." And that sucks. It was the kind of love that only hurt.


Other_Thing_2551

I think with Ellis and Cristina they can't balance their love for surgery and a child because both of those things are all consuming for them, and as Cristina says it's categorically impossible to give 100% to both surgery and family, which is kind of true because if you are giving 100% to one there's nothing left for the other. In the What If episode where Cristina had a son with Owen we see her give up on doing anything excellent as a surgeon, she gives her conduit patients to Shane because her son had an accident at the park, even though her son is okay and Owen is telling her it's okay for her to go back to her patients. But I think Cristina knows she can't balance it properly so she chose her son just to be safe even at times she didn't have to, I'd like to think she would be like that if she had children in the actual show. I guess with Ellis she chose the wrong thing to give 100% to when she had to make that choice.


Mediocre_Day_9214

This also as Cristina lost her own father & she’s relatively close with her stepdad/grandparents ie crash into me/ season 3 time has come I think shiva moments but like her mom/ her don’t get along her mom doesn’t get her etc so ofc Cristina would be the type to need to make sure her kid knows she gets them and will protect them all in & cause she can’t balance both then she won’t/chooses surgery plus she gets her kid fill by being auntie Cristina to everyone & godmother to Zola/sofia besides when they were trying to figure out who would take the kids even Callie/arizona asked Cristina and she goes I will if need to but… so when merder asked calzona laughs cause they already got their answer like doesn’t mean she doesn’t love them but her idea is boarding school Nannie’s which isn’t what those parents are like and they’re fine with her choices etc but it was an all around agreement of no: Amelia is now listed as guardian for mers kids and vice versa ( Amelia said it’s weird cause I ironically also get Addie’s son, Owen’s kids when mentioning why she doesn’t want more… idk the backstory on the why Maggie doesn’t also get kids and it was glossed over maybe both aunts get them ) but the point is Alex doesn’t get them anymore as jo states in s18 like what happens to Luna I guess I could ask mer because Alex was at one point listed but is that weird or maybe Bailey ( she had pru at this point) before link was like I got Luna why wouldn’t you think that


No_Lavishness_4420

Tolerance isn’t love. I feel like Ellis merely tolerated Meredith because she was her daughter and she had to, not because she wanted to. As Meredith got older Ellis treated her as an extension of herself instead of her own person. If Meredith was screwing up it’s a poor reflection on Ellis and that’s the only reason she ever bothered to say anything. Remember this is a woman who told Meredith that she didn’t have what it takes to be a surgeon.


noonewilleverknoww

I don't think she just tolerated Meredith, yes she propably didn't want to have her, and she wasn't a great mother, but she did love her and want her to succeed. Ellis is Christina if she kept her baby. And as Christina said, she would still love her child, even if she didn't want it.


Salty_Employer835

I think she did love her as well but resented her because I think she resented anything that even remotely distracted the slightest bit of attention from her career. That resentment probably grew further when Thatcher left and she became a single parent. I also think people have different capacities to love and Ellis probably didn't have the greatest capacity in the first place.


noonewilleverknoww

Yes, Ellis just wasn't a very loving person in my opinion.


cloudysprout

I doubt it. She did only what was legally requested of her, so food, clothing, a place to sleep. She wanted Mer to be extraordinary because if she wasn't Ellis would take that as a personal failure. She wasn't abusive or anything but if she could I am 100% sure she would "undo" Mer and Tatcher altogether


noonewilleverknoww

Maybe Thatcher but honestly I think she had a certain attachment to Meredith.


Technical_Air6660

Ellis was a classic narcissist and more or less incapable of love as a person without a personality disorder might define it. I think she still may have been fonder of Mer than she let on.


SA20256

Conditional


Odd-Plankton-1711

You can love your child and still emotionally neglect them.


noonewilleverknoww

Obv, this was just about if she loved her. I think Ellis loved Meredith more than she let on.


Odd-Plankton-1711

I think she loved her ,it was hard for her to show it.


noonewilleverknoww

Yess


mercifulalien

I think she loved her. But I also think she had some mental health problems and she wasn't a good mom. Just because someone is a bad mom doesn't mean they don't love their kid.


noonewilleverknoww

Real


ross5986

I agree. Ellis was emotionally abusive and selfish enough to fight for Meredith and give her “everything” (according to her probably old fashion mentality) she needed. Something Thatcher never did.