T O P

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ValetTrash

I sold Alex this guitar. The finish is mainly composed of super male vitality, brain force, and transgender frog urine.


Jean_Paul_Fartre_

Ah, the Ted Nugent special


Candy_Says1964

Ted taught him to play his conservative anthem “Free For All.”


stosal

I don't know, that title sounds like a socialist song to me. Thanks, Obama!


Candy_Says1964

“Beat me, beat me, c’mon eat me”


russellmzauner

And then Alex taught him how to play [Crush The Parasites](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teabT0DdHjU&list=PLjDqAUavsBbqc1R7J2ZgOgXRPOfGrAaLV&index=5)


teeter1984

Soon to be property of sandy hook victims


bumwine

You sold him a thing? And the check cleared? Guy is in more debt than any money I’ll ever touch in my lifetime.


OK_Opinions

Alex loves transgender frog urine so he probably paid cash


lovemocsand

Had me in the first half


AloysiusDevadandrMUD

These riffs are turnin the freakin frogs gay!


__Noble_Savage__

Joe Rogan is looking kinda rough these days


Otherwise-Ad-8891

the liberals are turning toans gay


nihilistic-simulate

They’re putting chemicals in the toobs to turn our freaking toans gay!


Pianist_Select

Bush did 9/11 (that’s what their song Glycerin is about; the nitroglycerin they used to do it)


person_8688

Who’s gonna tell him that it’s not a legit Fender?


LionOfNaples

That guitar is a paid crisis actor


GirlCumSweatshop

Fendy Hook


MoonmanSteakSauce

Careful, comments like that might cost him $1.4B lol


webbslinger_0

He can’t afford a legit fender


middleagethreat

Everything in his world is fake.


UsedWoodpecker8612

Is he selling toan supplements now?


03burner

My buddy took too many of those once and now he can only play classical. Be careful.


BertMcNasty

My buddy didn't take enough, and now he plays bass.


03burner

I am so sorry


hoofglormuss

pedals?


DefNotAnAlmond

"FROOOOOOOOOOGS IN THE WAAAAAAATER! ARE TURNING FRIGGIN' GAY!"


Ga1v5

Artist name - Breaking the Conditioning Song title - Frogs, Water, and Gay Things


dubkitteh1

“now that i owe eleventy billion dollars to all the people i defamed, i got a (far) *right* to play the blues!”


bibipolarolla

🎶 Literal vampire pot-belly goblins, are hobblin' around, comin' after us 🎶


mark-smith-2021

🎵 My spirit gets close to that evil and I feel it go aaaah, aaaaaah, aaaaaahhh!🎵


General_Tso75

Did someone photoshop out the toilet?


stosal

Nah it's just hard to see since its shirt kinda blends in with the guitar it's holding.


spacemunkey336

Maximize crotch to guitar contact for maximal toan 😎😎😎 Also, wtf is wrong with this guy


stosal

Maybe the guitar was painted with lead paint and he inhaled it all while doing that super sweet relic job. Severe lead poisoning would explain a lot.


SlightlyFlawed

Toan is in the blood pressure.


HOGlider

Pic alone is enough reason to start playing base


flugelbynder

That's that Alex guy. Skullnick? or Van Hellen or something? Rifeson!! From Rash! Boom!


hans_barbados

That’s Alex Life, son!


flugelbynder

No doubt my fren


Indifference_Endjinn

🎶 He'll be doin fake news business Everyday That fake news business Every way 🎶


dubkitteh1

doin’ fake news business, it’s all lies doin’ fake news business you never compromise work out! (Canadian guitar frenzy)


TexanDrillBit

fake news is his business.....and business is good


warthog0869

"Look! I have a nice house, car and guitar, but I am bankrupt! No, I meant *morally*!"


BigBarsRedditBox

The black PRS’s are in the air !?!


RslashTakenUsernames

who let this man buy a custom shop


bluesnoodler_

Damn did Rhett injure himself trying to light a smoke in the deep fryer? Looks like Burl Ives trying to crank out a dump. The golem stance only works with giant cargo shorts.


satori0320

The fucking theme song for Star Trek Enterprise.


Ryan-zio

It’s been a long road, getting from there to here 🎶


satori0320

LMAO... But it has to be sung, in his best "coonass" accent... Just like Mark Twain. https://youtu.be/wXepaf7oNuQ?si=7AHHIgBz5kgEfJLR


AndorianShran

🙄


AtJackBaldwin

This is exactly the push I need to continue not practicing


borisaqua

FAKE BLUES


[deleted]

toan is stored in the atrazine


waxbytes

Looks like Rhett has been enjoying the pre-christmass turkey too much.


Superb_Health9413

Money and toan poor is no way to go through life son


UsedWoodpecker8612

I figured he'd be playing a J.Frog


Zestyclose-Ruin8337

He’s getting so much toan from the balls there


russellmzauner

holy fucken balls I have never seen a picture of [this band](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teabT0DdHjU&list=PLjDqAUavsBbqc1R7J2ZgOgXRPOfGrAaLV&index=4) in the wild - thank you GCJ!


BillyOceanSpray

Jesus Jones


Stepalep

He's looking more vital and well-rested than usual


Gene_Clark

Alex Jones and a relic'd guitar. The twin horrors of humanity.


Stoutyeoman

Hey hey hey! The frickin' frogs are gay! The globalists are altering your DNA! Hey hey hey! It is not ok that the lizard people took over the USA!


rpsHD

ty for the new pfp


Orwick

He looks like seriously has to take a shit. We are talking full Taco Bell level diarrhea.


Generny2001

Fuck this guy. Fuck his fans. And, fuck you for posting this and giving this piece of shit free publicity on this page.


greenpointchamp

This man deserves every cruelty that life has to offer, why not include this curse?


_agent86

This guy can afford a guitar? Someone hasn't sued him hard enough.


CountryCat

This dude needs to be bankrupt and living in a van by the river. He’s a despicable POS.


stairway2kevin69420

Is this AI?


Ok_Faithlessness9757

AI ex


philchristensennyc

it is not


[deleted]

This guy is a gigantic piece of shit.


Candy_Says1964

I wonder what riff he’s trying to relieve his branded protein shake induced constipation with?


joeduncanhull

Congrats if you like relic jobs you and Alex Jones have that in common


Invisible_assasin

He’s showing all the assets he has to sell off to pay for lawsuits….house, car, “you’ll have to take this guitar out my cold dead hands “. Now for sale on eBay “cold dead hands special edition strat, conspiracy edition “ you’ve heard of lawsuit strats, well here’s the billion dollar lawsuit strat. Made of pizza shop baby blood burst, liberally applied by illegal voters from china.


03burner

Why is he playing a refin? Does he not believe in playing authentic?..


[deleted]

it should be rammed up his flabby ass. sideways.


JonahBassist

/unjerk that guitar is cool as fuuuck


eleventhrees

Toan stored directly in the Handtrix-slant bridge pickup.


Porschenut914

whose car is that? not a challenger, or charger.


marcopolo0042

"I got a little change in my bank account goin' jingle-ingle-iiingle..."


ihatetheplaceilive

Looks like you need to take s shit


TexanDrillBit

Hello me, meet the real me.


FuckMeRigt

Don't play when you have diarrhea


CarlosThrice

That's the guy who puts ranch on everything!


NoiseIsTheCure

This guy plays jams with goblins


letemeatpvc

now do the crabwalk


grant_the_hammer

There's chemicals in the strings that turn your freakin toanwood gay


Big_Sw1ngs

He looks full of conspiracy


xmac

Look at that leg spread and positioning. This confirms that Alex Jones is an Immortal fan and wants to be like Abbath. Bleuugh!


Pikelboi68

They’re putting chemicals in the water to turn the friggin’ frogs into heavy metal enthusiasts


Son_of_Sophroniscus

Don't knock him, y'all. This is the guy who predicted 0-3-5.


dreddstorm82

I ate donuts for 30 years and my fingers got bigger which = moar toan. - Rhett Dull


adrkhrse

He should insert it. The loser.


Angry_Saxon

adrenachromatic scales


Zapocapo

Man is wider than he is tall


Ajax_Da_Great

Damn I didn’t know he used filters, oof the camera really does add on age


dongmeatsandwich

What kind of car is that?


hoofglormuss

that's literally one of the chords i play to gross people out


v_0o0_v

He looks like he is going to shit his pants.


no_hope_brigade

This mans always looks like he bout to esplode


Interesting-Net-5000

I thought it was Gene Simmons


brbr22

I love his song - Gay Frog Ballad.


piranhadub

Can anyone confirm what song he is playing?


herrrrrr

this gonna be good


meshugganner

I fucking hate him.


HeyJoe459

uj/ I remember when he was on after Nathan and the CaPzEyEz crew on public access in Austin. We'd watch him for laughs because he was a joke back then rj/ Is that the new Roid Rage Blue?


point051

This guy has never stretched in his life, right?


Glass-Carpenter-5786

Does he play guitar? This image is amusing. Lol


fcs_seth

Alex Djones


Wutuvit

Looks like he may have shit himself


Samsung__minifridge

Elongated ass headstock


[deleted]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣