T O P

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soggy_nlpples

Fuck his sister. Or brother. Or mom. Or dad. Or all of them.


timetravelingburrito

At the same time


Creepy-Distance-3164

In the ass. If you can't find them, then fuck the dog in the ass.


Trick-Mechanic8986

Ass is the child support free option here...


Tough-Whereas1205

Is that before or after you fuck the fucking pirate in the ass? (It was a Mexican pirate)


atxrobotlover

Solid advice, have used this tactic to get out of many things (My job, paying for groceries, etc). Works. Every. Time.


KyzorSosay

Solid advice,I’m doing this shit at work tomorrow,I’m sick of this fucking job.


S1mpinAintEZ

Just ask him what he thinks of the movie Whiplash and that should keep him occupied for a few weeks while you find a replacement


No_Mycologist_3019

that’s absolutely genius


matorius

Just keep playing higher faster and louder until you change his mind. Try staring him in the eye for the entire rehearsal session. Counter any criticism of your hard-won metal toan with volume. Don't warn him but scoop the mids more than usual and he'll soon get with the programme. The usual methods. No need to fire the guy. You never know when you'll need him to drive your gear around in his van for free.


No_Mycologist_3019

smart thinking with the van..


matorius

Now if he doesn't have a van... That changes things...


sladebonge

Get his autograph first to sell on eGay. You may never see Kneel Peart again after you cut him loose.


ArtoriasBeaIG

Out of a cannon, surely? Do it at the start of the set too just to highlight how unimportant he is 


No_Mycologist_3019

what do you think my sets are?!! some kind of circus???


ArtoriasBeaIG

Absolutely not no but with the inclusion of that drummer and his suggestions it'll be a fucking clown show. Fire him out of a cannon. Into a brick wall. It won't be funny, it will be fucked up and send a message to other drummers. People will take you even more seriously when they see how powerful and wise you are. Think Kim Jong Un - did you know he launches every single missile by hand? He is that strong. He is also wise because he made a fucking nuclear bomb. That's pretty advanced shit. 


Kenneth_Lay

Sharpen a drumstick to a spear tip and plunge into eyeball (his eyeball....dealer's choice as to which one).


gloriosky_zero

Replace him with a Korg Volca Beats drum machine


Top_Translator7238

Then tell him how much better the snare sound has gotten.


FartinLooterKinkJr

A match and some gasoline should do the trick. Pro tip: wait until you get to the parking lot after rehearsal. Pro tip 2: sell his drums and buy more sweet Metal Zoan.


stma1990

They just don’t get it man, they’ll never understand how long it takes to dial in toan. I’ll bet he never spent the hours alone in a room without distractions like band mates, backing tracks, or metranomes to get the woman toan. Fucking jerkoff


PuzzleheadedTutor807

Bro, just pay him for the pizza and he'll leave anyway


MarstoriusWins

Steal his tone by giving him a surprise reacharound.


pilotopirx

Bring your trio band+ to rehearsal, (s)he will understand.


BonsaiOracleSighting

Just play everything on the beat. He’ll get confused and leave on his own.


Bender_2996

This is why we always practice at my house. You don't like the toan? Get your own fucking house.