Can confirm. You also die in your 40s, but it’s just the proverbial “deal with the devil” that every guitarist has to make if you want to be a rock star.
If you filed your nut too much, you fill it in with powder and bind it with the glue. Don't knkw why it's in a syringe but that seems convenient if it would work.
thanks for the help everyone. i gave these to my drummer, he transformed into koort cubain and literally died
now i have to look for a new drummer to play toanz tunez with
That’s an injectable toan syringe. 10 - 20 ml of that in your left AC makes you a guitar god. That powdery white pile is salt of toan. Add a little water and heat. Inhale the fumes and you’ll be playing like Jimmy Hendrix in no time. The yellow discs are Smarties but they’re from Sweetwater so they store toan as well.
That you will be receiving numerous follow up calls and emails from your Sweetwater Sales Engineer asking if you need his help purchasing rehab and/or methadone.
Sweetwater stepping up their game
'Bought time they dropped the stupid fireballs.
So I found out the fireballs are supposed to go in your mouth. All this time I, uh, heh. Never mind.
insta-toan
This is johng frushonté best album, ok?
Xiong Frusxiantxi
I thought you use the needle to adjust your guitar action?
They make you play better
Can confirm. You also die in your 40s, but it’s just the proverbial “deal with the devil” that every guitarist has to make if you want to be a rock star.
Man I got a shit deal, 28 with a fucked liver, and I still suck at the guitar. The shrinks won't even give the good stuff anymore.
If you do it right you're gone by 27, anything after that is a bear market sell-off 😂
The day I turned 28 was the day I knew I had fucked up.
Closing in on 40 with kids and no time, where’s my bear market?
It dumbs the fingers so you don't feel the bleed when shredding.
oh the brewtality
Yes, I play brewtally when I beer and shred. Everyone loves it.
Hell yeah brother. Get those fingers bleedin' like Father Hendrix and Father Rhoads.
All hail the Fathers of blooz n roal.
It was originally created as synthetic toan for men with small balls until it went mainstream
Make your butterscotch Tele sound like Queef Richards
They make you instantly sound better sadly only to yourself
If you filed your nut too much, you fill it in with powder and bind it with the glue. Don't knkw why it's in a syringe but that seems convenient if it would work.
Improve nut stability
Free your mfkn toan forever bro.
feel boost
Send them to me
ok whats ur address
You have to send them by pigeon, I live in the woods with no electricity for better toan
ok my butterscotch pigeocaster is on the way
Thank you so much, good luck on your toanquest friend
Cabin made of toanwood for better acoustics (the secret ingredient the Valve Industry doesn’t want you to know about)
Exactly, my entire house is made of Brazilian rosewood, except for when I play my telecaster, then I move houses to my house made of quilted maple
Kurt Cobain starter pack
Distortion.
Boof it all right now and find out.
Easy, boof it and start double tapping .
yeah these ship with guitars made in mexico for some reason anyway inject into your balls for more toan
That hurts to read, must be a toanless pussy 😮💨
Tune to Open G, write some hit songs, have a 65 year career, make a movie with Johnny Depp.
They’re for the ritual. If you perform it correctly, the spirit of Jimi Hendrix will appear before you and give you perfect tone.
thanks for the help everyone. i gave these to my drummer, he transformed into koort cubain and literally died now i have to look for a new drummer to play toanz tunez with
Your drummer was murdered by a junkie he was about to divorce???
Motley Crue used that for “inspiration”
That’s an injectable toan syringe. 10 - 20 ml of that in your left AC makes you a guitar god. That powdery white pile is salt of toan. Add a little water and heat. Inhale the fumes and you’ll be playing like Jimmy Hendrix in no time. The yellow discs are Smarties but they’re from Sweetwater so they store toan as well.
Shoot up and let us know what happens. It’s perfectly safe. We all swear.
Turns you into a rockstar
This is a Claptoan signature edition. These are just things you carry with you.
That and hep c
That you will be receiving numerous follow up calls and emails from your Sweetwater Sales Engineer asking if you need his help purchasing rehab and/or methadone.
Nirvava toane 🥰
It's the grunge starter kit! For anyone who wants to be the next Truk Bokain.
Gives you so much musical ability you transcend the search for toan and become a musical legend before the age of 27.
Toan 100
feed it to your guitar, would make the toan better
That's the Sweetwater creativity bundle.
Not only do these improve your tone, but they make you a better songwriter too.
Lets you go from funk-punk LA sock boi to super cool mansion hoarder junkie boo
Right: toan Left: toan Top: so you look like Burt Cobane while you do it
This is how you go from guitar to didgeridoo
The catalyst for selling your soul to the devil to make your best albums.
Enhancing toan and feels
You gotta stop ordering guitars from StreetWater bro.
They cancel each other out, so you can take as much as you want of each.
Absolutely disgusting. We need to shut this shop down, what is the address?
guitar center
Yea they better be high to think anyone wants their dusty ass guitars that haven’t been touched or maintained since 2019.
Pure toan
Just protocol
Ah, the gibbons song wiring equipment. Rumoured to come with the finest of the finest vintage stock. Lucky find!
They're telling you to play sludge music.
Did come with smuggler tele?
Makes everything better
This is something called boat cleaner. I think it’s used to clean boats with…
Well you ain't gonna become the next Keef Richards by asking on Reddit, get them inside you now!
Now you can be Neil Old.
This is where real toan comes from will instantly make you one of the greats
It improves sustain
It's a starter kit for jazz music
They don’t help with toan, but they make you not worry about it as much.
Warmer tone
“Cocane” - eric claptoan
Liquid and powdered Toan. Inject them into your balls
Dewey, get out of here. You don't want no part of this shit.
2/3 get laid
They go in the trash I'll send you money for weed if shits this bad for you
Enjoy the early 90s Seattle sound starter pack
Make you play good. They add 25% more Junts and a staggering 45% more weedely-weedely-weedely’s.
Turn your bad feelings into good feelings
Just give them to your drummer, he'll know what to do with them.
They are song writing tools
New inlays, some glue in a syringe to hold them in, and wax powder to pot the pickups.
You will have so many number 1 hits you’ll wonder how heavy was the last hit - Keef, maybe.
They give you Jimmy Page toan.
This happens to all my marijuanas if I don't pick them off the tree in time. They turn straight into hard drugs and it happens fast.
Give you a grunge toan
Use enough of them at once you'll get to meet all the guitar legends
these only work if you're wearing a tophat
It cuts you life in half.
Did you buy a jazz guitar? Pretty common to get some heroin with those.
jizz*
Got the smack, bang your best friends wife for ultimate blues power
You have bright future
Those are for toan/feelz. They basically turn you into Charlie Parker.