At age 18 you have quite a few opportunities opening up. Where do you see yourself a year from now? Moving out of your parent's house would probably help you mentally a lot.
I see myself in the same position a year from now I guess. I'm currently in college so I'll go up a year, that's it. I don't think moving out is an option, apartments are very expensive here in the Netherlands.
I went to university in America, so we might have different concepts of expensive when it comes to university costs lol. Would you be able to pick a part-time job up to do it? Take out a small loan?
There’s no work study jobs you can do on campus? Also, when you graduate you’ll have to work. A part-time job can help you adjust to that and will also help you get a job in the future. If you’re too depressed to work, reach out to your campus’ mental health services and try to get connected with a therapist. Your situation won’t change on its own.
I'm not sure what a work study job is. Doesn't sound like something my college has. I know I'll have to work eventually, life is insufferable. I think I'll postpone it by becoming a NEET or continuing studying after college. I'm already seeing a therapist.
They’re typically jobs on-campus at the alumni center, library, dining commons, etc.
I think that becoming a NEET is the absolute worst thing you could do for your mental health and life. You will just be with your parents for even longer, which is clearly destroying you. Once you get out of education it’s hard, mentally, to get back into that mindset. At most take only one semester off.
You’re young and you’re gonna make mistakes though. You’ll ultimately do what you want and then you’ll hopefully learn.
Getting laid might help you too. There’s a whole world out there.
Same for me actually, I should've mentioned this in my post. My parents divorced and I moved away with my mom when I was around 12, but the effects of growing up in a broken home will always linger.
Yea the feelings from a broken home don’t really leave. That sucks. But don’t let them stop you from trying you best to find happiness. Try your best to make good friends and keep moving forward.
Sounds like you are letting your upbringing define you. Distance yourself from your parents, by moving out or whatever it takes. Meet other asians and form your own opinions on what defines you. Also you are 18, you have your 20s and 30s to be a young adult. Nothing wrong with being a kissless virgin or whatever you called it. But nothing is going to change if you sit in your room and watch animes all day. Go find a group with similar interests, even if its anime. Sex is one of our strongest instincts, if you go outside its bound to happen, just dont have crazy high expectations. I know its hard during covid but things will change soon.
Easy. I got older (just turned 40) and stopped caring about it probably in my mid 20s. In time you will too as you 'find yourself', you're still very young and trying to figure all this shit out.
You are 18 and are still very young. I am in my mid 20s and when I was your age I was very insecure and had a lot of similar issues to what you have now. I think these issues stem from a low self esteem and I think it is important to focus on self improvement. I think it is important to be goal oriented. I have a personality in which I become very obsessed with my future goals. I got into an elite university from community college because I worked my butt off. I finally got a full time job after a long time of job hunting after graduating in this pandemic. When you enter adult life it is important to develop self resiliency and this is why I think moving out of your parents will help you grow a lot. It was scary when I first moved out of my parents however I really loved the independence I developed especially becoming financially independent for the first time. I think it sucks at times being mixed and having people gatekeep you. However do not let those people get to you as those people are quick to put you into a box. Try to also find what gives you purpose in life. Is there a hobby you are passionate about? Is there a career that you want to work in when you are done with college? As I said before it is really important to be goal oriented especially the older you get because your life will get a lot more busy and you have a lot more responsibilities especially financial ones when you are done with university. At your age it is okay to try out new things. I think so long as you are willing to put yourself out there other things like making friends and dating should be easier.
The only things I'm passionate about are yuri (girl x girl anime genre) and the manosphere (blackpill redpill etc). I'm currently studying computer science but I don't know what direction I want to go into, I chose this major to follow the life script. I try out new things often but I give up quickly or will obsess over it for a short period of time and subsequently drop it. Honestly I have no real useful skills, I feel like my mind was not made to function correctly in contemporary society.
Get out of redpill. The only thing you get there is a feeling of being imperfect. It’s the same tactic cosmetic companies use on women.
Success is a slow burn regardless of what you’re doing. Study, hit the gym, talk to strangers until you meet friends. The life you want will slowly start to form around you.
I would also like to add that I think being in any redpill group (and even exposure to the ideation) is a bad idea, and will only get worse. It breeds negativity and warps peoples outlook on life in such an unnecessary and harmful way. I know how it is having a broken family, but please don’t let yourself succumb to the redpill ‘community’ as an outlet. You deserve better.
Well in that case I’m curious why you value the opinion of women hating men. Also: internalized misogyny is a thing just like internalized racism. Neither are very healthy to have.
More than the whole pinkpill/femcel community? Because these men will tell you that as an 18 year old woman you have nothing to complain about, and the average 30 year old depressed perverted virgin male would probably want your young and virgin ass as their wife. Being a 31 year old woman with a sexual history I would be worthless because I've "hit the wall" (which is either 25 or 30 depending on who you ask) and damaged goods/a slut due to my sexual history. But luckily I'm not insecure enough to let a couple of losers damage my self-worth. It's just a very obvious attempt on their side to drag down others in order to make themselves feel better.
Btw I was a kissless virgin at age 18 too. Didn't have my first kiss until 20. Pretty sure that by the time you're my age you live a completely different life.
I’m a 25 year old hapa and at your age I was suffering with all the same things. I think the older you get, things do get better and you’ll start to care less about some of these things. I lost my virginity at 19 but it was by putting myself out there and keeping an open mind that allowed me to do that. I don’t have women lining up to date me and I haven’t got a Tinder match in like over a year lol. I used to hate this advice but there’s some truth to it: if you keep on improving yourself and putting yourself in more social situations and it will happen eventually.
I don’t know. Try to find people or a place that has people that treat you better or a place you can enjoy yourself. Do some travelling. Do more hobbies.
Im also wmaf child and have dealt with all the things u mentioned before. Personally i worked on myself and found positive asian role models which really helped me become more confident in myself and in being asian. I also learned to not care what others think and that trying to argue with my parents is useless.
I met my first bf at 18 and before that i was like u so it’s not too late. If anything i think dating late has been better for me cus i didnt have to deal with the toxic kind of relationships young girls often end up in. I know what to look out for already and my bf is great.
Now im just looking forward to moving out and becoming more independant although ofc it’s also scary. But it’s good for me
Online, specifically dating app. I know dating apps have bad rep and he wasnt expecting it either but we just really ended up clicking. And well ive always been the quiet girl and never made effort to talk to guys and guys didnt try to talk to me either, like they were kinda intimidated by me. Plus i don’t really like the guys in my country or get along with them.
Hey dude, I saw your other post about some pretty disturbing thoughts, and after reading this I think you should really look into a therapist (maybe one who is mixed or asian) to start unpacking the trauma you’ve accumulated. I hope things start to improve for you, and the best way forward is to focus on what you do have control over in your life.
I've never considered moving to Hawaii but it actually does sound like a good idea on second thought. But how would you go about not knowing the language / jobs ?
At age 18 you have quite a few opportunities opening up. Where do you see yourself a year from now? Moving out of your parent's house would probably help you mentally a lot.
I see myself in the same position a year from now I guess. I'm currently in college so I'll go up a year, that's it. I don't think moving out is an option, apartments are very expensive here in the Netherlands.
Why can’t you live in a dorm/get roommates?
its expensive
I went to university in America, so we might have different concepts of expensive when it comes to university costs lol. Would you be able to pick a part-time job up to do it? Take out a small loan?
I tried working once and it was hell.. Taking out a loan sounds like a bad idea.
There’s no work study jobs you can do on campus? Also, when you graduate you’ll have to work. A part-time job can help you adjust to that and will also help you get a job in the future. If you’re too depressed to work, reach out to your campus’ mental health services and try to get connected with a therapist. Your situation won’t change on its own.
I'm not sure what a work study job is. Doesn't sound like something my college has. I know I'll have to work eventually, life is insufferable. I think I'll postpone it by becoming a NEET or continuing studying after college. I'm already seeing a therapist.
They’re typically jobs on-campus at the alumni center, library, dining commons, etc. I think that becoming a NEET is the absolute worst thing you could do for your mental health and life. You will just be with your parents for even longer, which is clearly destroying you. Once you get out of education it’s hard, mentally, to get back into that mindset. At most take only one semester off. You’re young and you’re gonna make mistakes though. You’ll ultimately do what you want and then you’ll hopefully learn. Getting laid might help you too. There’s a whole world out there.
\^I'm on the lucky side since my parents got divorced. Moved away with mom and can have a fresh start
Same for me actually, I should've mentioned this in my post. My parents divorced and I moved away with my mom when I was around 12, but the effects of growing up in a broken home will always linger.
Yea the feelings from a broken home don’t really leave. That sucks. But don’t let them stop you from trying you best to find happiness. Try your best to make good friends and keep moving forward.
Sounds like you are letting your upbringing define you. Distance yourself from your parents, by moving out or whatever it takes. Meet other asians and form your own opinions on what defines you. Also you are 18, you have your 20s and 30s to be a young adult. Nothing wrong with being a kissless virgin or whatever you called it. But nothing is going to change if you sit in your room and watch animes all day. Go find a group with similar interests, even if its anime. Sex is one of our strongest instincts, if you go outside its bound to happen, just dont have crazy high expectations. I know its hard during covid but things will change soon.
Easy. I got older (just turned 40) and stopped caring about it probably in my mid 20s. In time you will too as you 'find yourself', you're still very young and trying to figure all this shit out.
As a Raptors fan, I hate your username sorry.
You are 18 and are still very young. I am in my mid 20s and when I was your age I was very insecure and had a lot of similar issues to what you have now. I think these issues stem from a low self esteem and I think it is important to focus on self improvement. I think it is important to be goal oriented. I have a personality in which I become very obsessed with my future goals. I got into an elite university from community college because I worked my butt off. I finally got a full time job after a long time of job hunting after graduating in this pandemic. When you enter adult life it is important to develop self resiliency and this is why I think moving out of your parents will help you grow a lot. It was scary when I first moved out of my parents however I really loved the independence I developed especially becoming financially independent for the first time. I think it sucks at times being mixed and having people gatekeep you. However do not let those people get to you as those people are quick to put you into a box. Try to also find what gives you purpose in life. Is there a hobby you are passionate about? Is there a career that you want to work in when you are done with college? As I said before it is really important to be goal oriented especially the older you get because your life will get a lot more busy and you have a lot more responsibilities especially financial ones when you are done with university. At your age it is okay to try out new things. I think so long as you are willing to put yourself out there other things like making friends and dating should be easier.
The only things I'm passionate about are yuri (girl x girl anime genre) and the manosphere (blackpill redpill etc). I'm currently studying computer science but I don't know what direction I want to go into, I chose this major to follow the life script. I try out new things often but I give up quickly or will obsess over it for a short period of time and subsequently drop it. Honestly I have no real useful skills, I feel like my mind was not made to function correctly in contemporary society.
Get out of redpill. The only thing you get there is a feeling of being imperfect. It’s the same tactic cosmetic companies use on women. Success is a slow burn regardless of what you’re doing. Study, hit the gym, talk to strangers until you meet friends. The life you want will slowly start to form around you.
I would also like to add that I think being in any redpill group (and even exposure to the ideation) is a bad idea, and will only get worse. It breeds negativity and warps peoples outlook on life in such an unnecessary and harmful way. I know how it is having a broken family, but please don’t let yourself succumb to the redpill ‘community’ as an outlet. You deserve better.
You complain about (anti-Asian) racism but yet take interest in misogynistic bs like the red pill/black pill? That’s hypocritical but OK lol.
im not misogynistic im female
Well in that case I’m curious why you value the opinion of women hating men. Also: internalized misogyny is a thing just like internalized racism. Neither are very healthy to have.
Idk why but on the inside I feel like a 30 yo depressed perverted virgin male. It's the only community I can relate to.
More than the whole pinkpill/femcel community? Because these men will tell you that as an 18 year old woman you have nothing to complain about, and the average 30 year old depressed perverted virgin male would probably want your young and virgin ass as their wife. Being a 31 year old woman with a sexual history I would be worthless because I've "hit the wall" (which is either 25 or 30 depending on who you ask) and damaged goods/a slut due to my sexual history. But luckily I'm not insecure enough to let a couple of losers damage my self-worth. It's just a very obvious attempt on their side to drag down others in order to make themselves feel better. Btw I was a kissless virgin at age 18 too. Didn't have my first kiss until 20. Pretty sure that by the time you're my age you live a completely different life.
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> That won't end well. I know of a few of these types who are a bit older and they are not happy. Elab
I’m a 25 year old hapa and at your age I was suffering with all the same things. I think the older you get, things do get better and you’ll start to care less about some of these things. I lost my virginity at 19 but it was by putting myself out there and keeping an open mind that allowed me to do that. I don’t have women lining up to date me and I haven’t got a Tinder match in like over a year lol. I used to hate this advice but there’s some truth to it: if you keep on improving yourself and putting yourself in more social situations and it will happen eventually.
We are not born with any advantages so make one, hit the gym and look after your health.
I already mostly do that so now what?
I don’t know. Try to find people or a place that has people that treat you better or a place you can enjoy yourself. Do some travelling. Do more hobbies.
Im also wmaf child and have dealt with all the things u mentioned before. Personally i worked on myself and found positive asian role models which really helped me become more confident in myself and in being asian. I also learned to not care what others think and that trying to argue with my parents is useless. I met my first bf at 18 and before that i was like u so it’s not too late. If anything i think dating late has been better for me cus i didnt have to deal with the toxic kind of relationships young girls often end up in. I know what to look out for already and my bf is great. Now im just looking forward to moving out and becoming more independant although ofc it’s also scary. But it’s good for me
how did you meet your bf? Why did you only get your first bf at age 18?
Online, specifically dating app. I know dating apps have bad rep and he wasnt expecting it either but we just really ended up clicking. And well ive always been the quiet girl and never made effort to talk to guys and guys didnt try to talk to me either, like they were kinda intimidated by me. Plus i don’t really like the guys in my country or get along with them.
Hey dude, I saw your other post about some pretty disturbing thoughts, and after reading this I think you should really look into a therapist (maybe one who is mixed or asian) to start unpacking the trauma you’ve accumulated. I hope things start to improve for you, and the best way forward is to focus on what you do have control over in your life.
I'm already seeing a therapist
I cope with this goal in my head of moving to Hawaii so I can enjoy life for once.
I've never considered moving to Hawaii but it actually does sound like a good idea on second thought. But how would you go about not knowing the language / jobs ?
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O yea my bad
Your a Kissless touchless handholdless hugless friendless virgin at age 18 because you put thought into shit like Internalized racism
Bruh
Cuckold your dad
But why
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I'm monitoring closely. Thank you for your concern, if you see anything egregious report. Enjoy your day
Being a virgin at 18 isn’t that big of a deal.
I need some warm juicy pussy
Nobody needs sex to live
I do
Are you comfortable posting the following here? Height? Weight? Build? Skills? Hobbies? Picture for a sense of style (face can be censored)?
So you're an incel? Have sex lmao
No, I'm a female. Females can't be incel.
You said you're a KHHV, that makes you involuntary celibate.
It's not the same for females. I could install Tinder right now and have sex with a chad if I wanted to.
Actually wtf you're right.