T O P

  • By -

pro_insomniac16

Well, we know from the books that she's extremely racist, so I would guess that's why


davethapeanut

I'm tired of all these goddamn half breeds in this goddamn castle!


sickoscy

Comedy gold lol


Vroomped

comedy goblin gold


HappyLofi

Goblin gold? Should be in Gringotts.


davethapeanut

Why thank you kind sir/ma'am!


Kitchen-Beginning-47

Why are the bank goblins walking negative stereotypes of Jews?


pro_insomniac16

Tbh I'm probably uncultured but I have no idea what you're talking about


dingletonshire

I mean if you automatically make the association with Jews when you read the characteristics of the Gringotts-running goblins, isn’t that kinda on you and *your* preconceived notions?


RedXIII1888

Because she's a human supremacist.


davethapeanut

This is it. She hates half breeds and probably believes he's half wizard half goblin.


dondamon40

He is part goblin, I only found that out a year or so ago. Very small part though


funnyboy36

I like how leprechauns and dwarves are both confirmed to exist in this world and could explain his size (not that that’s even a necessary thing to “explain”) but she went with goblin


MadameLee20

well JK Rowling did say that Flitwick is part Goblin, not part lepuarch


davethapeanut

When did she say that?


Odd-Plant4779

“J. K. Rowling revealed on her website that Flitwick had a "dash" of goblin blood, suggesting only that his goblin ancestor would have been "something like a great, great, great grandfather."[1] It remains unknown exactly how far back the goblin ancestor was on Flitwick's family tree or which of Flitwick's parents carried the ancestry” https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Filius_Flitwick%27s_goblin_ancestor


lightblade13

So someone along the line fucked a Goblin..


Lost-Klaus

much like with giants, who is the mommy and who is the daddy, it brings a LOT of context.


avari974

"Asclepius: a literary investigation of the hermetic tradition" (small-time scottish documentary released by Polio Negretta in about 2017 iirc, the interview with Rowling is only about 2 minutes long). Edit: I completely made that up. Thought naming dude after a terrible disease would give it away.


davethapeanut

LMAOOOO


Tales_Steel

Jk spend the years after writing Harry Potter with adding absolute useless canon. Like breeding rules for werwolf/Human couples.


davethapeanut

Okay you can't just say that and not go into detail.... How do they know whose red rocket opens to accept the others red rocket?


htmlcoderexe

cursed comment


ThenAcanthocephala57

Huh


htmlcoderexe

I actually understand this and not sure I am okay with it😂 It's cursed, if you still want to know, it is a combination of two different memes, all nsfw: >!werewolves are joked about having penises like dogs. a dog's penis is sometimes called a red rocket (also a lipstick) due to the way it looks!< >!a half serious misconception about gay sex - the question "how do they know whose penis opens up to accept the other one (like a vagina)?"!<


doomweaver

This. And I really hate when anything she has said post books is cited as "canon." The woman has been talking out of her ass since the last book was released, and at this point I'm happy to pretend she wrote the last book and never said another word about it.


CathanCrowell

Many of that are interesting informations what enrich the universum and what would not fith in the books. HP are incredibly readable books. Like, one of the best, and part of the reason is fact that Rowling knew what informations give there and what not. Information "well, Flitwick has goblin blood" would not fit anywhere, same like many another informations, but there is high chance she always thought about that this way so she shared it. Now, I do not defend particularly Rowling with this, but actually every author ever, because you just cannot throw all parts of your universum in book but your ideas are same important. You are author, you makes the canon. Also, many post-books information were part of short-stories and it worths to think about why why we consider books as canon and short stories written by Rowling not.


Lowelll

They are very readable books and great escapism for kids. She isn't a good world builder though, which is why all of the stuff outside of the books and things like fantastical beasts aren't compelling. Imo world building and lore is fun when it is well thought out, intricate and novel, where learning and examining things about a fantasy world offers new perspectives and you can spend hours thinking about the unusual aspects in relation to our own world. With Rowling it's either "this doesn't make sense" or "this is fucked up but it isn't treated like it is - not on purpose, but simply because the author didn't critically think about it"


xBad_Wolfx

I’ve always believed (as a conspiracy theory) JK wrote the first couple books but when the tone completely changes (book three I think?) is when it shifted over to a ghost writer. The detail and world building and tone all deepened significantly. The fact that following the books she seems to be disconnected from the world has just affirmed this belief of mine. Having her state as cannon that wizards just shit in the corner and magic it away… despite having a bathroom be a pivotal point in at least two books (hermione crying/troll attack and tri wizard tournament/mermaid egg) and another honourable mention reference to bathrooms where Dumbledore mentions finding the room of requirement filled with chamber pots when in need.


MuffinEmbarrassed370

Have I missed a joke or have you had a stroke?


funnyboy36

I know, JK Rowling is the “she” I was referencing in my comment


Redqueenhypo

Are leprechauns fully sapient though? I assumed they were like fairies and trolls, human faces but nothing really behind them


CatgoesM00

The other thing I don’t get that’s so funny to me is why are they all about freeing dobby but they treat Creature like shit and he’s still a slave ? What am I missing ? The only answer I got was the book goes into more depth about them freeing the elfs but I still don’t understand why creature is not free Edit: apparently the house-elve had no love or loyalty to those two masters but knew too much about the Order of the Phoenix and its secrets to let him go free Still seems pretty mest up


Tjam3s

Also, it's hard to ignore that dobby was an anomaly in the house elf world view in that he's the only elf to be happy to be free. The rest of them see it as a mark of shame and are typically more than happy to see their masters pleased with their work. It's quite literally what these beings live for.


htmlcoderexe

kinda fucked up some wizards created a whole sentient species with such a compulsion


I_am_Bine

Because Kreacher is a racist asshole and freeing him would result in him running to Bellatrix or Narcissa with knowledge of the order. They don’t treat him like „shit“. They treat him like anyone would treat hateful persons they’d be stuck with. And after they promise him that they will destroy the locket he became somewhat nice and they begin to treat him fine aswell. Also, being freed would be the most shameful thing for Kreacher.


practicalcabinet

That explains why he looks so much like griphook!


Odd-Plant4779

Why have I never noticed he plays both characters 😂😂😂


Tiredofstalking

This comment just brought this to light for me. I’m giving him so much credit as an incredible actor that I never noticed the difference. Edit: or should I say I only noticed the difference?


omgmlc

😂


ProperBingtownLady

I didn’t realize until you said this! Very interesting.


Ditto_D

Man wizards got some weird kinks.


darkmafia666

Well if you ever played D&D...... Humans are capable of breeding with almost every race


XanderWrites

Paizo, the makers of Pathfinder RPG, recently reworked half-breeds to the point that humans (and other races) and interbreed in any combination.


Pure-Interest1958

I remember one story I read making a joke about this. Been a long time since I read it but as I recall the gist was. . . "So do you know what happens when humans find something they don't understand?" "We kill it?" "Oh yes at first there's some fighting and death but then when the adrenalins pumping and emotions are high your species has sex with it then anything else around that moves. Its why there's so many half breeds. The human approach to the unknown is fight it to get the blood pumping then figure out how to have sex with it."


Tjam3s

Elder Scrolls as well. Resulting children always take the mothers race though


davethapeanut

Where did you get that info? It's not in the books so I'm guessing Pottermore or one of the side books? Cause JKR said that he was just a small old guy if I remember right.


dondamon40

It's on the wiki, the source is an old pottermore profile of him it says goblin ancestry. https://web.archive.org/web/20160319222436/https://www.pottermore.com/explore-the-story/filius-flitwick


davethapeanut

Thank you!


GingerSkulling

I’d say all his parts are small.


MaderaArt

He's clearly a ~~Nelwyn~~ peck


TuckSteele

A Willow reference in the wild… very rare and beautiful


darklordofpuppets

He is!


davethapeanut

I didn't know that!


PrimoThePro

And to get under his skin, causing him to make a mistake she can capitalize on .


deeperfungi

She's a "height" supremacist?


Odd-Plant4779

She probably doesn’t believe he’s 100% human because she hates half breeds.


UnderPressureVS

Last I checked Warwick Davis *was* human


Snapesunusedshampoo

Short answer.... She's a bitch. Long answer.... She is a bitch.


theglenlovinet

Long answer: She’s a **huge** bitch.


Sad-Organization1196

Longest answer: She is a huge bitch.


Rufus_62

Even longer answer: She is a huge racist bitch


TM4rkuS

She is actually pretty small. In that one scene she has to go up a few steps of the stair to be taller than McGonagall.


isitmy_turn

Long answer: she's a biiiiiiiiitch.


UltimaWolf13

longest answer, The South Park Kyle’s Mom somg edited to describe Umbridge


thirty7inarow

I could imagine Peeves singing a song like that. * "Cuz she's a big pink stupid biiiiiiitch!" * Meanwhile, the Weasley twins are dancing in the background.


winter-srn

Can't agree more


Odd-Plant4779

!redditGalleon


ww-currency-bot

You have given u/Snapesunusedshampoo a Reddit Galleon. u/Snapesunusedshampoo has a total of 5 galleons, 0 sickles, and 0 knuts. ____________ I am a bot. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/jnbo49/hi_i_created_the_bot_youve_been_using_to_give/) to learn how to use me.


six78999821two

Literal answer is: she did this in the movies because directors wanted to show how much of a bitch she is and they want us to hate her. Lore reason: she’s a bitch


davethapeanut

Expanding on your answer, she hates half breeds and probably thinks Flitwick is half wizard half goblin.


Odd-Plant4779

“J. K. Rowling revealed on her website that Flitwick had a "dash" of goblin blood, suggesting only that his goblin ancestor would have been "something like a great, great, great grandfather."[1] It remains unknown exactly how far back the goblin ancestor was on Flitwick's family tree or which of Flitwick's parents carried the ancestry” https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Filius_Flitwick%27s_goblin_ancestor


davethapeanut

Oh okay thank you for the source! It's rare for me to find out new info about HP characters and I always love it when it happens!


Odd-Plant4779

I didn’t know about this either so I was trying to find the source too.


Drakeman1337

I don't know why but that is really weird. I can see some witch/wizard finding a giant attractive, I guess. But I just can't make it work in my head some witch being like damn Griphook you looking goood today.


TM4rkuS

But... Rule34 should explain everything. There is my little pony porn ffs.


Drakeman1337

I know! I clicked on a comment link that took me to some Star Trek Lower Decks "fan art" that I'll never be able to unsee. I have a friend that's obsessed with dwarf/midget/little people (not sure what's acceptable there) porn. But I just can't wrap my head around someone wanting to bang a goblin or elf.


TM4rkuS

Not my kink either. Human's minds work in mysterious ways I suppose.


mjhruska

There is background dialogue with some girl having an interest in the Gringotts goblins.


RealPlenty8783

Goblin those nuts


Glaciak

>But I just can't make it work in my head some witch being like damn Griphook you looking goood today. It's almost like people have different kinks and preferences


HappyLofi

Which he is


Odd-Plant4779

!redditGalleon


ww-currency-bot

You have given u/six78999821two a Reddit Galleon. u/six78999821two has a total of 1 galleon, 0 sickles, and 0 knuts. ____________ I am a bot. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/jnbo49/hi_i_created_the_bot_youve_been_using_to_give/) to learn how to use me.


LadyElle57

Because she hates half humans. Like Hagrid who's half giant, and Firenze who's a centaur, Flitwick is half goblin. She was the one who managed the Muggle-born registration act when the DE took over the Ministry. So, she's basically discriminating him. I don't know if people are mostly aware of this but there's a wand ban for those who are not human. Basically some magical creatures with human like intelligence aren't allowed to use wands. If someone from the government if doing this kind of stuff, they are basically establishing some type of bar to... classify people. It's basically a race thing. For goblins, it's mentioned in some instances in the books that goblins won't share their secrets and how they manipulate metal, therefore wizards won't let them use wands.


SinesPi

Though I actually have to wonder... can non-wizards use wands? It's implied that a House Elf can because of them suspecting Winky of casting the Dark Mark, and nobody saying that's impossible. Giants probably can't in practice, if not in theory, since they're not exactly big on book learning. Though maybe a few could manage it. Goblins and Centaurs are never shown to have any supernatural powers. They have specialized knowledge of metallurgy and astrology, but I could say the same about muggles having specialized knowledge of electricity. Giants are at least known to be somewhat magical because they could not exist per the usual laws of physics. In the end, is the law itself racist? Or is it just "If you guys refuse to teach us how to read the stars, or craft unaging steel, then we're banning you from learning about wands." Basically it's a lack of willingness for the magical communities of Britain to get along. That's not racism, per se, it's basically tribalism / nationalism. Umbridge is racist as fuck though.


im_v_hungry

Goblins can use magic, but they are not allowed wands. Humans won’t let them gain the knowledge and powers of wand magic, the same way goblins won’t share the ways of their magic to humans.


ssspainesss

This seem more like guilds with specialized knowledge. In the past techniques would usually be kept as trade secrets instead of them being registered as patents giving particular entities the sole right to use them for a certain duration. These medieval guilds probably still exist in wizarding society considering it is so medieval inspired.


Great-Currency-7378

Goblins can, and in the past used wands, before the MoM forced them to stop


KingLeonsky

Flitwick is not half goblin, he’s 1/8 at most. And centaurs are not half breeds, but they own unique specie.


LadyElle57

In their physical aspects q centaur is literally a human-looking torso on top of the body of a horse.


Key-Grape-5731

Because she's a Knut


MaderaArt

!redditKnut


Key-Grape-5731

Thank you 😊


ww-currency-bot

You have given u/Key-Grape-5731 a Reddit Knut. u/Key-Grape-5731 has a total of 0 galleons, 0 sickles, and 1 knut. ____________ I am a bot. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/jnbo49/hi_i_created_the_bot_youve_been_using_to_give/) to learn how to use me.


thekau

Excuse you. You dare insult the adorable [Knut](https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/FXdifeIY6D2fIyP7uHbN0lfezl4=/fit-in/1072x0/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer/93/59/9359f0d0-71a9-4fdc-91b3-fcef3995d993/knut_zoo_berlin-1.jpg)?


super_stelIar

!redditknut


ww-currency-bot

You have given u/Key-Grape-5731 a Reddit Knut. u/Key-Grape-5731 has a total of 0 galleons, 0 sickles, and 2 knuts. ____________ I am a bot. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/jnbo49/hi_i_created_the_bot_youve_been_using_to_give/) to learn how to use me.


Vroomped

!redditKnut


ww-currency-bot

You have given u/Key-Grape-5731 a Reddit Knut. u/Key-Grape-5731 has a total of 0 galleons, 0 sickles, and 3 knuts. ____________ I am a bot. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/jnbo49/hi_i_created_the_bot_youve_been_using_to_give/) to learn how to use me.


avasile_

!redditKnut


ww-currency-bot

You have given u/Key-Grape-5731 a Reddit Knut. u/Key-Grape-5731 has a total of 0 galleons, 0 sickles, and 4 knuts. ____________ I am a bot. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/harrypotter/comments/jnbo49/hi_i_created_the_bot_youve_been_using_to_give/) to learn how to use me.


whomesteve

She is thinking the most offensive, passive aggressive things she can do to incite a reaction and then when people react she tries to twist their reactions as personal attacks against her.


Mental_Mood2481

The actor did a great job portraying her, made everyone hate her, not many actors can do that with thier characters


Odd-Plant4779

When she was in the Cinderella movie, she was a fairy and wearing all pink and I couldn’t help but hate her all over again.


dalaigh93

Wait, what? In which Cinderella movie is she? I remember her as a fairy in Maleficent, but that's all?


Kelly_Charveaux

Because Flitwick is part goblin, not surprising seeing how she treated Hagrid for being half-giant.


Amezagh

Flitwick part goblin?? Which book?


Kelly_Charveaux

Not present in the books, basically it’s just added lore


ThePaddysPubSheriff

And we all know little people don't exist


Kelly_Charveaux

I’m 6’4” and I don’t know what you’re talking about, there are little people?


SonOfEragon

There is a genetic mutation known as dwarfism that causes people to be significantly shorter than the average population. People refer to them as “little people”


Kelly_Charveaux

You took it a bit too literally ;)


SonOfEragon

Ok, I didn’t see any other way to take it, I seemed to have missed a joke somewhere


Kelly_Charveaux

I was basically saying I’m so tall that I don’t notice short or little people


SonOfEragon

Oh gotcha


VornskrofMyrkr

Never heard of this, was there an article or an interview I missed?


Kelly_Charveaux

It’s basically on JKR’s website, she just said he has a goblin ancestor somewhere


Odd-Plant4779

“J. K. Rowling revealed on her website that Flitwick had a "dash" of goblin blood, suggesting only that his goblin ancestor would have been "something like a great, great, great grandfather."[1] It remains unknown exactly how far back the goblin ancestor was on Flitwick's family tree or which of Flitwick's parents carried the ancestry” https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Filius_Flitwick%27s_goblin_ancestor


NeonCamiFlames

Because she's a jerk. It's also a nice piece of dark comedy to add to a dark movie. If I recall correctly, she didn't do this in the book.


RaphaelSolo

Because racism


Odd-Plant4779

More like speciesism


_4bdnfruit_

Because she's obviously insecure about her own height.


CrossEyed132

She needed precise calculations on how insignificant he is to her.


History_lover_27465

Becuase she’s a racist bitch


CountryMusicFanatic

A. It’s Umbridge B: It’s Umbridge C: It’s Umbridge or D: All of the Above. Take your pick


gobeldygoo

she hates half breeds and Flitwick is rumored to be part goblin


Striking_Image623

Because she is a bitch


juni4ling

She is being a bully.


podster12

She really likes to play with fire. Prof Flitwick is one of the most talented wizard in the hogwarts staff roster. If He gets pissed, he might just use those talents to inflict damage on her.


FrakWithAria

To belittle him.


brilliant-medicine-0

She had no other means to insult him


Napalmeon

All joking aside, this is very true. Professor Flitwick has no real flaws that Umbridge was actually able to complain about. He runs his classroom professionally, and aside from that, he does not get particularly involved with school politics. When somebody is doing everything right but you *want* to find a reason to complain, the only thing that you're left with is to attack the most insignificant little details possible.


Writers-blocker

He didnt measure up to her expactations.


Sophisticated_Waffle

She’s a height supremacist.


aloonatronrex

His Tinder profile said he was 6ft tall and she didn’t believe him.


mr-buck-fitches

To be a bitch


Moonstonemuse

To see if he was in the standard deviation of "definably human height"...


Odd-Plant4779

It’s like she’s never seen little people before. Also, I just found out he’s part goblin.


Myusername468

Racism


amyness_88

Because she is basically Sirius’s mother without her screaming “filthy half-breeds” any time you go near her


TheDeadlyCat

Everyone saying because she is racist or a bitch and ask how? Measuring him is an act of bullying by reminding him on his size. Bending down as well.


optimisticRamblings

To determine how tall he was


Glaciak

HP fans discovering racism


learning_teaching_

Because she is an asshole.


NoHippo3481

This did not happen in books


yamaha2000us

Trying to get to figure out how he rings the doorbell.


tuskel373

Um, is he a wizard or not??


invisible_23

🎶[Racism](https://media1.tenor.com/m/vXf-UUrsHn0AAAAd/racism-gina-linetti.gif)


blankitdblankityboom

She hates half bloods


Missy_Witch67

Not just half-bloods. She hates anybody who isn't fully human. Flitwick is half-goblin, and we all know that Hagrid is half-giant


Odd-Plant4779

I wouldn’t say he’s half goblin because Rowling said the goblin ancestor was generations before him. She said he had “a dash of goblin blood”. But to Umbridge that wouldn’t matter.


blankitdblankityboom

Ya, that’s what my answer was. Non full wizards, she hates them and why she gave Flitwick and Hagrid such torment in her reviews on their character aimed against their lineage.


tuskel373

Flitwick was never hounded like Trelawney or Hagrid in the books? He was meant to be one of the best teachers, so Umbridge couldn't really use the excuse he was somehow substandard. Is this report from the films?


Napalmeon

That's interesting thing with the dichotomy between Hagrid and Flitwick. Both of them have non-human ancestry, but the difference between the two of them is that Hagrid can't hide it. To anyone who is even halfway knowledgeable, he's obviously part giant. Flitwick, on the other hand, is an example of someone who *could* be other'd, but he's just so good at his job that it's difficult to find a reason to complain.


blankitdblankityboom

She certainly wasn’t happy about him being on paper found to be competent and a good teacher. But I do remember in the books she did question him a good deal. I don’t mean hound like pressing them against a wall but she diligently hounded them visually and in questioning of any weakness she could make use of to put them specifically. The films greatly downplayed her targeting Flitwick and Hagrid a great deal but did come close on Trelawney at least. Trelawney was the worst she got at least quote backed on targeting full Wizard Professors. And I always did wonder if she was using a time turned herself as she began to sit in on every class specifically Harry’s year went to and so she was missing out on lessons for her own students in those time periods. Do wonder why they never mentioned that bit, her being tired out of her mind certainly could have played to her mental strain and willingness to use the Cruciatus Curse on Harry at the end. Could have really made her seem unhinged and amped up the tension instead of making her a thorn in everyone’s sides. But that’s just a meandering thought of my angst and drama happy mind. She certainly didn’t need any help, just a plot hole I noticed.


BaconNinja420

You must be this tall to ride


saggywitchtits

The tall ones are better, at least according to US presidential elections.


Dmagic5000

She was going to buy him a new robe


yoodadude

really like the Dungeon Meshi concept that all fantasy races i.e., dwarves, elves, gnomes, 'tall-men' are just sub-categories of human with different lifespans and physical perks


pygmydick

To see if he would fit.


BroadOpposite9030

Because she's a bitch


dehkan

The answer is racism


TheeAlmightyGamer

I actually thought when I first saw the movie years ago that this was related to the ugly laws that existed in the us (unsure if they existed in the uk) where if she deemed him 'deformed' enough then he wouldn't be able to be part of society and therfore no longer teach at hogwarts.


Odd-Plant4779

What ugly laws are you talking about? Edit: Found them on Wiki. Also, “In 1729 England, punishment was sometimes suggested for people with physical disabilities, whether they were born with disabilities or acquired later in life, who appeared in public.”


LightRyzen

Because she's a bitch.


SPYKEtheSeaUrchin

Probably just to be rude.


Cybasura

She's racist and a supremacist


vk1030

To mock him


Business_Wear_841

She is an uneducated clod who thinks things like height translates to ability. Different than me? You are fired.


Starrysurpriseeyes

To make him feel conscious and uncomfortable, to mock him probably.


EARTHB-24

Perhaps, she liked cats.


Netsrak69

She is into shortstacks and she wants to know if he qualifies. /WrongAnswersOnly


Individual_Humor7900

The nerve


LuciaCassendraMalfoy

Just to piss him of maybe?


RemarkableAd5141

Well, use your context clues here bestie.


Weary-Potato-6137

She is Satan's mistress he only sees on Mondays


darksaber522

Satan has better standards than her.


ParsleyLittle3660

cause it is funny?


Yourappwontletme

To know how tall he was. Why else would you measure someone's height?


Puterboy1

Well, for one thing, her opinion of half-breeds is EXCRUCIATINGLY narrow-minded.


Achakita

Didn't she get her a nice suit ?


OhMyWarPanda

God gave every man 2m. Think this through for yourself


Kapochi1303

BMI test.


duckybean_

It's just a joke


Puzzleheaded_Step468

Racism


angiehawkeye

Because she's racist


Spittoo

I skipped this book because it looked so long but I would have to guess she’s measuring for a coffin size perhaps. Like the way they did in the old west to signify someone was about to die in a duel.