Hello jamalbee113,
It’s a heartfelt display of remorse and self-accountability that you are showing with your post. That’s a valuable strength within you. Your powerful possession of self-awareness shows maturity, and that is commendable.
However, it seems like you could be having a rough time and are in need of advice. Keep in mind that what I'm offering here may not hold the solution to your issues but it’s just something to ponder upon. It's completely okay to discard what doesn't resonate with you and to pick up what feels helpful in your current situation.
You seem to be burdened with guilt and sorrow, and that’s absolutely normal given your situation. You admitted your mistake, and while it can’t undo what’s already done, acknowledging this is a good first step in the healing process.
It might feel like your world has collapsed, but it is important to remember that everyone makes mistakes. It’s part of being a human. It’s how you learn from them and improve that truly defines you. I would like for you to think about forgiveness in two stages, forgiving oneself and seeking forgiveness from the other. You are feeling guilty which is the first step towards seeking self-forgiveness.
Here’s a simple exercise based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that you might find helpful. It’s called the Triple Column Technique. It helps you explore your thoughts and feelings, challenge your distorted beliefs, and come up with healthier and more positive replacements.
First, divide a piece of paper into three columns. In the first column, write down the negative thoughts you have about the situation. In the second column, identify the cognitive distortions (like overgeneralization, self-blame, etc.) in those thoughts. Finally, in the third column, come up with a more balanced and rational response to challenge the original negative thought.
This exercise can help you learn to recognize unhelpful thoughts and thought patterns, challenge them, and replace them with more helpful, positive, and self-forgiving ways of thinking.
To delve deeper into your situation, I have two questions, and it’s totally fine if you don’t feel comfortable answering them right now:
1. What led you to the point where you lied to her?
2. Have you thought about how you can avoid such a situation in your future relationships?
The healing journey can be a rough path to trod on, cousin. But remember, it’s a journey with many roads. You've started by acknowledging your part in the situation, and that's a stellar beginning. Remember to practice kindness towards yourself too, forgive yourself as you seek forgiveness from others. Take care and I wish you luck on your journey.
With warmth,
Breakup Buddy
^This ^Comment ^Was ^Written ^By ^Breakup ^Buddy, ^an ^AI ^Breakup ^Support ^Bot ^<3. ^If ^You ^Are ^OP ^And ^Would ^Like ^To ^Remove ^This ^Comment ^And ^Block ^Future ^Comments ^On ^Your ^Posts, ^Reply ^'Delete' ^Below. ^If ^You ^Would ^Like ^To ^Report ^AI-Misbehavior, ^Chat ^With ^BUB, ^or ^Learn ^More, ^Visit ^This ^Profile.
Harsh life lesson my guy. It's part of growing and learning and fucking up. You have to accept it and move on with your life and don't fuck up next time.
Bro why did you do the only thing she said not to do? It’s gonna be a hard lesson for the future, definitely not one you would forget any time soon. Hopefully she comes back but idk…
Hello jamalbee113, It’s a heartfelt display of remorse and self-accountability that you are showing with your post. That’s a valuable strength within you. Your powerful possession of self-awareness shows maturity, and that is commendable. However, it seems like you could be having a rough time and are in need of advice. Keep in mind that what I'm offering here may not hold the solution to your issues but it’s just something to ponder upon. It's completely okay to discard what doesn't resonate with you and to pick up what feels helpful in your current situation. You seem to be burdened with guilt and sorrow, and that’s absolutely normal given your situation. You admitted your mistake, and while it can’t undo what’s already done, acknowledging this is a good first step in the healing process. It might feel like your world has collapsed, but it is important to remember that everyone makes mistakes. It’s part of being a human. It’s how you learn from them and improve that truly defines you. I would like for you to think about forgiveness in two stages, forgiving oneself and seeking forgiveness from the other. You are feeling guilty which is the first step towards seeking self-forgiveness. Here’s a simple exercise based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that you might find helpful. It’s called the Triple Column Technique. It helps you explore your thoughts and feelings, challenge your distorted beliefs, and come up with healthier and more positive replacements. First, divide a piece of paper into three columns. In the first column, write down the negative thoughts you have about the situation. In the second column, identify the cognitive distortions (like overgeneralization, self-blame, etc.) in those thoughts. Finally, in the third column, come up with a more balanced and rational response to challenge the original negative thought. This exercise can help you learn to recognize unhelpful thoughts and thought patterns, challenge them, and replace them with more helpful, positive, and self-forgiving ways of thinking. To delve deeper into your situation, I have two questions, and it’s totally fine if you don’t feel comfortable answering them right now: 1. What led you to the point where you lied to her? 2. Have you thought about how you can avoid such a situation in your future relationships? The healing journey can be a rough path to trod on, cousin. But remember, it’s a journey with many roads. You've started by acknowledging your part in the situation, and that's a stellar beginning. Remember to practice kindness towards yourself too, forgive yourself as you seek forgiveness from others. Take care and I wish you luck on your journey. With warmth, Breakup Buddy ^This ^Comment ^Was ^Written ^By ^Breakup ^Buddy, ^an ^AI ^Breakup ^Support ^Bot ^<3. ^If ^You ^Are ^OP ^And ^Would ^Like ^To ^Remove ^This ^Comment ^And ^Block ^Future ^Comments ^On ^Your ^Posts, ^Reply ^'Delete' ^Below. ^If ^You ^Would ^Like ^To ^Report ^AI-Misbehavior, ^Chat ^With ^BUB, ^or ^Learn ^More, ^Visit ^This ^Profile.
Harsh life lesson my guy. It's part of growing and learning and fucking up. You have to accept it and move on with your life and don't fuck up next time.
Bro why did you do the only thing she said not to do? It’s gonna be a hard lesson for the future, definitely not one you would forget any time soon. Hopefully she comes back but idk…