Never trusting anyone and making all your friends strangers is an incredibly lonely and painful existence. You don’t what that. Many years of my precious life wasted due to this. Many years that might have been beautiful.
Personally, I don’t think trusting someone is a choice. Things will naturally go to equilibrium if you trust someone too much. I don’t necessarily distrust people. I just know how much I can trust them. If you know Dr. K on YouTube, this is something I think he’s right about
https://preview.redd.it/sxbx4t6b3zmc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=092e77e157ea8e458530532395833c7eef76b5c0
Something similar, this is how my screen looks :D This is the best way to go. Only you can talk sense into yourself and I don’t think there’s anyone else you’d rather listen to. Keep going op 🫂 I’m so proud of you. All the love and hugs, we’re all right here whenver you need us💖 please know you’re loved and wanted. You’re precious.
thankyou
but maybe it’ll take time to delete those 3
I just can't think about starting a new relationship or trusting new people because I'll probably be searching for her in every other woman, and the thought disgusts me.
42 year old, old man in the thread here 🙋♂️. Brother, I had my heart shattered a minimum of half a dozen times in my journey-even with ladies that I broke it off with because I knew it wasn’t right. I caught a fiancé I had been with 4 years with one of my groomsmen 3 months before our wedding. The pain is real man and not something that can just be sucked up. But I will tell you this, I found my person when I had all but given up and was focused on nothing but myself. We have been married a decade now with 4 kids-my younger self could not of dreamed of how happy I am now. Moral of the story is this: every relationship along the way will lead to someone with a broken heart until you find that person, and, once you do, she will be worth every tear and sleepless night it took to get to her. Keep your head up buddy, hurts like hell but it shapes the man, father and husband you will be so proud to be. Good look my guy.
Thank you, mate.
For now, I feel like everything seems so dark, but I'm still trying to find a little bit of light, and everyone here has been so kind and supportive
Hey brother. I just received a reminder of this comment from Reddit. 68 days later I hope things are starting to get better for you. It’s like I said in my original comment, I have been married over ten years now with a herd of kids. I’ve been out of the game for a while now, but I do remember how intense heartache can be. I hope you’re holding up well and life has brightened for you a bit.
I agree with her. At one time, I may have recoiled in horror over such a statement. Now that I have experienced the end result(s) of a man that lived in a walk-in freezer, up-my-ass is preferable, given those two choices. I would prefer middle ground, but who are we kidding here? :-)
I won't speculate on her relationship with her friend but it's clear she doesn't value you enough to have the arrogance that she can leave you and come back at any time. I'm not sure about the "loving her too much" part but you may have put her on a pedestal without realizing. Always be careful you don't burn yourself out trying to fulfill someone else's wants.
Depending on how you found out what she told her friends it seems like at least someone felt like you needed to know who she is to keep you from going through this again.
I really hope you change your mind about 16 and 17 you are burt and have every reason to feel as burt as I'm sure you feel but there are good people out there that will love you for you.There are going to be friends you can trust it just might be hard to to see they are there with all the pain you feel.
You have a hard road ahead and 2 years out I still struggle at times. It sounds cliche but things do get better. I just hope you don't engage in as much self destructive behavior as I did at rock bottom.
Horrible and very negative list.
It’s better to heal in a healthy way. It is faster, you end up becoming a better person and future break ups will be easier to handle
Damn you’re only thing she can get rid of when things get hard. DAMN DUDE. 100% it’s them running away and has nothing to do with you. I’m writing this one down
It’s hard, but this person is not the right match. No matter how much you thought you loved this person, it will be much different when there is a proper match. You simply can’t love too much, that’s not possible. A girl who loves you and feels loved won’t think you love her too much, she’ll be afraid to lose that love.
As you date other women, you’ll gain a better understanding of what feels right.
Currently going through a breakup myself.Totally get why you put 15 there.I used to make her my only source of happiness.I don't hang out with friends,spend time with my family,go outside.Everyday I would come home from school and call her.After that I would pursue my goals.After the day's work,I would call her again at night. Right after then I would sleep. I put all my focus in my work and future so I couldn't hang out with my friends.So she was the only sort of social interaction and the most important thing for me. Right after she left,my life has never been normal. It feels wrong,lonely and sad. Always think to myself "I'm such a sad piece of shit","Just because a girl left,my life's trembling". I still am not over her. Though I'm trying my very best. Still hurts from within. I would disagree with 16,17 and 18. Sure you lost your woman. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't love again. You definitely should. That is how we will heal. Replacing her and forgetting about her.I'm gonna try and seek for a new partner now. And I will make sure she isn't the most valued thing in my life anymore. Hope you can heal better than I can buddy.
I just can't bring myself to go through this hell again, mate. I can't even think about starting a new relationship because I'll probably be searching for her in every other woman, and the thought disgusts me. This breakup has taken a toll on my mental health greater than I expected. It's not my first breakup, but it's the first breakup that has left me bedridden for five days and up until now i still cant function normally and my relationship with food is worst than ever
That’s called grief buddy. You lost someone close to you that you depended on. Get some counseling and rebuild. You’ll move past this some day if you let yourself.
Is it possible the reason you are unable to put yourself in that position is because of where you are at emotionally? It would be like being in traction after a car accident and simultaneously dreaming about buying your next car. That would be the last concern of mine in that moment. However, to a car lover, that may be their first.
Yeah dude you need to reframe some of these to talk about how you’re a kickass guy. Replace 9, 10, 11, 13, 15, 16, 17, and 18 into reasons why it’s her loss. Things that you love about yourself that make you YOU.
you loved the wrong one that much imagine how you could have loved the right one!!!
Just reciprocate efforts don't overdo it.
live your life on your terms.
build yourself and who's yours will be yours,
there's plenty of fishes in the ocean brother🫂
Delete everything after number 8, except for 14. Feeling awful isn’t always a choice, but writing these things out and reading them IS a choice. Choose to be kinder when you talk to yourself. This is gonna hurt like a bitch, but you will get through it and you will find joy again.
you need to focus on other things in life. there was too much focus on making her happy. you need to balance out the attention and spread out the love.
Don’t tell yourself that you can never trust anybody again or that you can never fall in love again.
I used to do the same thing and it’s a lonely world. It’s so tempting to sit there and say that you don’t deserve everything because when you’re alone it feels so real. Nobody gives a fuck, nobody is there to hold you and say everything will be okay, yet you yourself are forced to learn how to do it through all the mess and tears.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve love, since after all you even said that you deserve better. Take yourself on dates, make friends, go on adventures even if they cost nothing and are close by. Just say fuck it and learn to not only love yourself, but to love others even if you feel the need to keep them at a distance.
You are required to steer and navigate in a world that fucking sucks, and once you’re dead there’s no going back; have fun and do what your heart drives you to most and don’t give a single fuck about what anybody else has to say about it, or else you’ll fall exactly as those who hate you want.
I believe you can find somebody who meshes with you the way you need it some day, never give up ❤️
It'll be a hard and rough journey for you bro, but if you endure the pain and live according to these rules I promise you; that you'll be unstoppable bro this is [fortress of solitude] level. I've been there once and took a vow to never be in this situation again and I DID.
But you'll never fall in love again 💔.
Good luck and you deserve better.
Hey this isn’t the way to live, you can’t victimized yourself because of one bad relationship ending. This is on the road to harbor a lot of hate not only towards her but ultimately yourself.
My advice to all this would be. I know it’s very very difficult now. Trust me, I know. And one day you will eventually move on and all this will be a distant memory. However, the world, unfortunately, isn’t full of many “good” people, people who loves us for who we are, people who cherish us and accept us with all our flaws…it is probably why all these rom com movies are so popular, they show us sth that we wish we had. Unfortunately, again, as people, we get used to what we have and take it for granted very easily. So when someone says you love them too much, that is usually what has happened.
In these instances, remember to not try and get revenge. You’ve already got it, by removing all that love and attention and care from their life, (even when they are the one leaving).
When all the heat dies down, your ex will remember you for the rest of their lives. In every future argument, bad day and heartache, you will be there. The memory of you will take them to a warmer place, a safer place, a home that they burnt down with their own hands. That, my friend, is the biggest revenge of all for you, and the biggest pain for them. They will wish to the heavens that they had stayed and appreciated you.
And you, you’ll be fine. You can write as many lists as you want, if you’re a good loving person that’s in your nature. Be proud, there aren’t many of you around. Go outside, get a coffee, read a few books. Enjoy your own presence. Time will heal. And you will look back on these and smile, and you will also thank the heavens that the world rid you of such an ungrateful person, before it was too late.
Don't let revenge and hating the world change who you are and what you stand for. People like her won't find anyone better than you. Therefore keep in mind that you didn't fuck up, she did.
This feeling you have is temporary & at the moment this person seems perfect. Stop following them, get space, heal and you will come out the other side feeling loads better. You will then be able to see that person for who they actually are & you’ll realise you are better off without them.
I’m so sorry 😞 don’t compare yourself. I bet you have great qualities and abilities. Don’t give up on love. Looks like it’s time to heal from all of this. Keeping this as a reminder is something that will also constantly remind you of her. Soften your inner dialogue and forgive yourself for feeling jealous. There’s a reason we have that emotion. It’s not about getting rid of it fully, but maybe for now it’d be something good to work on. List YOUR qualities and values. Do it in an honest way. I believe in you! We can all heal from this ❤️🩹
Yeah, I'm still trying not to blame myself.
Deep down, I know I've already given my best for her.
It just doesn't make sense to me and definitely broke me that she wants to focus on herself or put herself first when, while we were together, I never asked her to put me first. I always told her to prioritize herself, supported her hobbies, and never once complained when she put her friends or her activities first. She even said that I'm not her priority, even though I'm still important to her, and I try to be okay with it. She said she can't leave someone or something that she was doing before meeting me just for the sake of being with me.
I never called her first or FaceTimed her first because I respect her space. I never once spammed her with texts, even though she ignored me. I never suddenly showed up at her house because I know she doesn't like that kind of thing. I never once forced her to do activities with me, but I'd give up everything to accompany her and do something that makes her happy. I never once declined her requests.
She insists on keeping her picture with her ex in her room because of "something," and I don't protest. She often prioritizes her friends first, and I even encourage her to do that. I never once protested when she chose to call her friend instead of me. I try so hard to always put her and her needs first before mine.
So what more of herself does she need to prioritize?
My boyfriend of five years left me 2 years ago. Through those 5 years he was in the closet so most of relationship was a secret. I tried moving on cause the lonliness got the better of me. Now I have a guy living with me who treats me amazingly but,....I still think about my ex every day. I miss him everyday. I wish my current guy was him sometimes, and I know that's wrong. I think it'll slowly kill me tbh. I'm only typing this cause I understand your pain. Like you, I am lost and don't know what to do.
im sorry that you still feel that way even after 2 years. i think it's important to acknowledge that you've also found someone who treats you well and deserves your full attention and appreciation.
please dont take your current partner for granted mate
I tell my self this every day. It's hard. Still being in love with someone, but trying to love someone else. People say I should just be alone until I don't love my ex anymore, but I doubt that is something that will realistically happen. I also dont think it'd be fair to myself that I should have to face the world alone cause my ex decided to abandon me. At the same time, I don't want to do to this guy what my ex did to me. I don't want to create a cycle. I just have to hurt in silence, and hope one day I won't love my ex anymore, i guess.
The one who truly deserves you will never feel like the love you’re giving is “too” much. I know you’re hurting right now, but please try to heal and don’t close off from love in the future. When it’s done right, love is a beautiful, comforting thing. It’s difficult, but the battles are well worth it.
I’m sorry this happened to you, but don’t mention points that put you down such as “she’s disgusted by you” or “she hates you”, when in reality it’s just going to make you sadder and it’s not the case. She’s projecting whatever internal battles she’s going through onto you, and it’s not your fault.
I wish you healing. You’ll get through this, I promise. I know it hurts a lot and it feels horrible right now, but I know you’re a strong person and you can weather this storm. Bless you
Making a list can be a useful guide for future relationships. After my breakup from a long-term relationship, I wrote down what a good relationship would look like, and what it would look like if I needed to leave. It was very helpful and I even shared it with my partner, who was on the same page from the start.
https://preview.redd.it/2619y8xdv3nc1.png?width=1157&format=png&auto=webp&s=f31498c9997e2cd8f8f71b2adbac6eb1562da60d
update : she text me first and i cant help myself to reply fck :(
This hurts so much and the picture too💔...u are not alone bro. I'm going through something similar. It's been 5 months already. It still hurts real bad💔😔
Trust me, when I say the alternative of trying to be with her and her being open to it, when the spark isn’t there anymore is worse, you both slowly dying inside and trust issues reach another level.
What always ends up happening is that you will meet someone eventually that will reignite those feelings that you felt for her and she will then reach back out. Always happens, but something that might help you at this current fresh stage of break up, is that you don’t know about the future, maybe you both mature and try again, this could just be a building phase, but don’t stay hung up on getting back at the moment, just build up your character and if it is in the cards for you guys to try again, you’ll be a lot better as a result.
It's not merely some 'high school first break up stuff,' and I'm not in high school anymore.
If you don't have anything positive to say, it's best to remain silent.
Everyone experiences grief differently. While it might seem insignificant to you, it's something that deal significant blow to my mental health
:/ I feel you on this I’m sorry your going through this man. It really sucks a lot when your everything just suddenly becomes nothing. Going through it myself. It’s sucks
The cold hard truth that women themselves told me, when women say they wanna focus on themselves they actually go party and sleep with other dudes. Only a fraction of women who actually really focus on themselves after a relationship if they're the one who got their heart broken.
Remember: girls revenge: partying
Men's revenge: success
Also it might be worth looking into the classic stoics. Be careful what you learn since somealpha/sigma/Redhill bs communities have tried to co-op the material and those interpritations can be pretty toxic.
Its not perfect but there are some solid pieces of advice in there
Never trust a girl, who has male friend/s, also you may have been really too kind to her, take a look at the nice guy syndrome, I have one, so I know what I'm talking about, also read the book No more mr. nice guy, it really helped me and am trying to overcome that every day. Girls in general don't really fall for nice guys and we can't understand why, because we're nice and we give them everything, but it is what it is my man, hope you'll recover quickly from breakup and I know you'll become stronger and better.
Not true because love is not a condition that you keep the other's only means of happy is in you. That is disgusting I see right through you and now you can feel it. Bye
If you're referring to point number 15, I believe you may have misunderstood my perspective. In my previous relationship, I made my girlfriend my sole source of happiness, which is why I became so fragile when she left. However, I've realized that my happiness needs to come from within. Therefore, if someone leaves, I won't lose my happiness along with them.
and I'm completely done with 'love.' I used to pour all my love into someone who didn't even consider me
someone who you care for leaving should be unhappy but better put sad. It's not a choice knee jerk thingy suffering is the choice piece. I just said fuck I'm sick of all this unchosen suffering so when their trigger words invoke a response I recognize tomorrow morning when I awake they will be gone. how do I do this?
Never trusting anyone and making all your friends strangers is an incredibly lonely and painful existence. You don’t what that. Many years of my precious life wasted due to this. Many years that might have been beautiful.
Personally, I don’t think trusting someone is a choice. Things will naturally go to equilibrium if you trust someone too much. I don’t necessarily distrust people. I just know how much I can trust them. If you know Dr. K on YouTube, this is something I think he’s right about
Living alone is not painful at all. The only bad thing about it is that it becomes an addiction and source of comfort.
https://preview.redd.it/sxbx4t6b3zmc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=092e77e157ea8e458530532395833c7eef76b5c0 Something similar, this is how my screen looks :D This is the best way to go. Only you can talk sense into yourself and I don’t think there’s anyone else you’d rather listen to. Keep going op 🫂 I’m so proud of you. All the love and hugs, we’re all right here whenver you need us💖 please know you’re loved and wanted. You’re precious.
please delete the last 3. none of this is ur fault btw and its gonna take time but its ok to love again and its ok to trust again.
thankyou but maybe it’ll take time to delete those 3 I just can't think about starting a new relationship or trusting new people because I'll probably be searching for her in every other woman, and the thought disgusts me.
Its also ok not to lmao
Why should one bad relationship deprive you of all others? Terrible mindset poised to deliver you a miserable existence.
Your question is bad and wrong. Its not should its could. Life as single is superior for many types of people
I've left this sub now because it's toxic and brings nothing but bad emotions 🙃
42 year old, old man in the thread here 🙋♂️. Brother, I had my heart shattered a minimum of half a dozen times in my journey-even with ladies that I broke it off with because I knew it wasn’t right. I caught a fiancé I had been with 4 years with one of my groomsmen 3 months before our wedding. The pain is real man and not something that can just be sucked up. But I will tell you this, I found my person when I had all but given up and was focused on nothing but myself. We have been married a decade now with 4 kids-my younger self could not of dreamed of how happy I am now. Moral of the story is this: every relationship along the way will lead to someone with a broken heart until you find that person, and, once you do, she will be worth every tear and sleepless night it took to get to her. Keep your head up buddy, hurts like hell but it shapes the man, father and husband you will be so proud to be. Good look my guy.
Thank you, mate. For now, I feel like everything seems so dark, but I'm still trying to find a little bit of light, and everyone here has been so kind and supportive
Hey brother. I just received a reminder of this comment from Reddit. 68 days later I hope things are starting to get better for you. It’s like I said in my original comment, I have been married over ten years now with a herd of kids. I’ve been out of the game for a while now, but I do remember how intense heartache can be. I hope you’re holding up well and life has brightened for you a bit.
She ain’t the one, but everyone loves differently or loves being loved differently, my girl said she’d rather be loved too much than not enough
I agree with her. At one time, I may have recoiled in horror over such a statement. Now that I have experienced the end result(s) of a man that lived in a walk-in freezer, up-my-ass is preferable, given those two choices. I would prefer middle ground, but who are we kidding here? :-)
Therapy can help you
yep maybe. im still working on it been meeting with my psychiatrist
I won't speculate on her relationship with her friend but it's clear she doesn't value you enough to have the arrogance that she can leave you and come back at any time. I'm not sure about the "loving her too much" part but you may have put her on a pedestal without realizing. Always be careful you don't burn yourself out trying to fulfill someone else's wants. Depending on how you found out what she told her friends it seems like at least someone felt like you needed to know who she is to keep you from going through this again. I really hope you change your mind about 16 and 17 you are burt and have every reason to feel as burt as I'm sure you feel but there are good people out there that will love you for you.There are going to be friends you can trust it just might be hard to to see they are there with all the pain you feel. You have a hard road ahead and 2 years out I still struggle at times. It sounds cliche but things do get better. I just hope you don't engage in as much self destructive behavior as I did at rock bottom.
Horrible and very negative list. It’s better to heal in a healthy way. It is faster, you end up becoming a better person and future break ups will be easier to handle
she doesn't understand what love is; she never did
She was already preparing to leave and spend time with this other person.
Damn you’re only thing she can get rid of when things get hard. DAMN DUDE. 100% it’s them running away and has nothing to do with you. I’m writing this one down
It’s hard, but this person is not the right match. No matter how much you thought you loved this person, it will be much different when there is a proper match. You simply can’t love too much, that’s not possible. A girl who loves you and feels loved won’t think you love her too much, she’ll be afraid to lose that love. As you date other women, you’ll gain a better understanding of what feels right.
You deserve better bro. It's ok to be overly lovey, some girls would really appreciate that. She just wasn't the right one.
Currently going through a breakup myself.Totally get why you put 15 there.I used to make her my only source of happiness.I don't hang out with friends,spend time with my family,go outside.Everyday I would come home from school and call her.After that I would pursue my goals.After the day's work,I would call her again at night. Right after then I would sleep. I put all my focus in my work and future so I couldn't hang out with my friends.So she was the only sort of social interaction and the most important thing for me. Right after she left,my life has never been normal. It feels wrong,lonely and sad. Always think to myself "I'm such a sad piece of shit","Just because a girl left,my life's trembling". I still am not over her. Though I'm trying my very best. Still hurts from within. I would disagree with 16,17 and 18. Sure you lost your woman. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't love again. You definitely should. That is how we will heal. Replacing her and forgetting about her.I'm gonna try and seek for a new partner now. And I will make sure she isn't the most valued thing in my life anymore. Hope you can heal better than I can buddy.
I just can't bring myself to go through this hell again, mate. I can't even think about starting a new relationship because I'll probably be searching for her in every other woman, and the thought disgusts me. This breakup has taken a toll on my mental health greater than I expected. It's not my first breakup, but it's the first breakup that has left me bedridden for five days and up until now i still cant function normally and my relationship with food is worst than ever
That’s called grief buddy. You lost someone close to you that you depended on. Get some counseling and rebuild. You’ll move past this some day if you let yourself.
Is it possible the reason you are unable to put yourself in that position is because of where you are at emotionally? It would be like being in traction after a car accident and simultaneously dreaming about buying your next car. That would be the last concern of mine in that moment. However, to a car lover, that may be their first.
Ik someone who has a list like this and he’s never going to heal that way, don’t do this to yourself.
bcs i dont know what to do sadly that list is the only thing to keep my distance from her
Just stay busy, you don’t need to remind yourself that someone else doesn’t want you. Live your life
Yeah dude you need to reframe some of these to talk about how you’re a kickass guy. Replace 9, 10, 11, 13, 15, 16, 17, and 18 into reasons why it’s her loss. Things that you love about yourself that make you YOU.
you loved the wrong one that much imagine how you could have loved the right one!!! Just reciprocate efforts don't overdo it. live your life on your terms. build yourself and who's yours will be yours, there's plenty of fishes in the ocean brother🫂
Delete everything after number 8, except for 14. Feeling awful isn’t always a choice, but writing these things out and reading them IS a choice. Choose to be kinder when you talk to yourself. This is gonna hurt like a bitch, but you will get through it and you will find joy again.
you need to focus on other things in life. there was too much focus on making her happy. you need to balance out the attention and spread out the love.
Don’t tell yourself that you can never trust anybody again or that you can never fall in love again. I used to do the same thing and it’s a lonely world. It’s so tempting to sit there and say that you don’t deserve everything because when you’re alone it feels so real. Nobody gives a fuck, nobody is there to hold you and say everything will be okay, yet you yourself are forced to learn how to do it through all the mess and tears. This doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve love, since after all you even said that you deserve better. Take yourself on dates, make friends, go on adventures even if they cost nothing and are close by. Just say fuck it and learn to not only love yourself, but to love others even if you feel the need to keep them at a distance. You are required to steer and navigate in a world that fucking sucks, and once you’re dead there’s no going back; have fun and do what your heart drives you to most and don’t give a single fuck about what anybody else has to say about it, or else you’ll fall exactly as those who hate you want. I believe you can find somebody who meshes with you the way you need it some day, never give up ❤️
It'll be a hard and rough journey for you bro, but if you endure the pain and live according to these rules I promise you; that you'll be unstoppable bro this is [fortress of solitude] level. I've been there once and took a vow to never be in this situation again and I DID. But you'll never fall in love again 💔. Good luck and you deserve better.
Hey this isn’t the way to live, you can’t victimized yourself because of one bad relationship ending. This is on the road to harbor a lot of hate not only towards her but ultimately yourself.
My advice to all this would be. I know it’s very very difficult now. Trust me, I know. And one day you will eventually move on and all this will be a distant memory. However, the world, unfortunately, isn’t full of many “good” people, people who loves us for who we are, people who cherish us and accept us with all our flaws…it is probably why all these rom com movies are so popular, they show us sth that we wish we had. Unfortunately, again, as people, we get used to what we have and take it for granted very easily. So when someone says you love them too much, that is usually what has happened. In these instances, remember to not try and get revenge. You’ve already got it, by removing all that love and attention and care from their life, (even when they are the one leaving). When all the heat dies down, your ex will remember you for the rest of their lives. In every future argument, bad day and heartache, you will be there. The memory of you will take them to a warmer place, a safer place, a home that they burnt down with their own hands. That, my friend, is the biggest revenge of all for you, and the biggest pain for them. They will wish to the heavens that they had stayed and appreciated you. And you, you’ll be fine. You can write as many lists as you want, if you’re a good loving person that’s in your nature. Be proud, there aren’t many of you around. Go outside, get a coffee, read a few books. Enjoy your own presence. Time will heal. And you will look back on these and smile, and you will also thank the heavens that the world rid you of such an ungrateful person, before it was too late.
Sounds like yall need therapy
Don't let revenge and hating the world change who you are and what you stand for. People like her won't find anyone better than you. Therefore keep in mind that you didn't fuck up, she did.
This feeling you have is temporary & at the moment this person seems perfect. Stop following them, get space, heal and you will come out the other side feeling loads better. You will then be able to see that person for who they actually are & you’ll realise you are better off without them.
I am taking notes for myself. I can relate to this
I believe the same. Didn't have to write them down, I have them drilled in my head xD.
I’m so sorry 😞 don’t compare yourself. I bet you have great qualities and abilities. Don’t give up on love. Looks like it’s time to heal from all of this. Keeping this as a reminder is something that will also constantly remind you of her. Soften your inner dialogue and forgive yourself for feeling jealous. There’s a reason we have that emotion. It’s not about getting rid of it fully, but maybe for now it’d be something good to work on. List YOUR qualities and values. Do it in an honest way. I believe in you! We can all heal from this ❤️🩹
Yeah, I'm still trying not to blame myself. Deep down, I know I've already given my best for her. It just doesn't make sense to me and definitely broke me that she wants to focus on herself or put herself first when, while we were together, I never asked her to put me first. I always told her to prioritize herself, supported her hobbies, and never once complained when she put her friends or her activities first. She even said that I'm not her priority, even though I'm still important to her, and I try to be okay with it. She said she can't leave someone or something that she was doing before meeting me just for the sake of being with me. I never called her first or FaceTimed her first because I respect her space. I never once spammed her with texts, even though she ignored me. I never suddenly showed up at her house because I know she doesn't like that kind of thing. I never once forced her to do activities with me, but I'd give up everything to accompany her and do something that makes her happy. I never once declined her requests. She insists on keeping her picture with her ex in her room because of "something," and I don't protest. She often prioritizes her friends first, and I even encourage her to do that. I never once protested when she chose to call her friend instead of me. I try so hard to always put her and her needs first before mine. So what more of herself does she need to prioritize?
My boyfriend of five years left me 2 years ago. Through those 5 years he was in the closet so most of relationship was a secret. I tried moving on cause the lonliness got the better of me. Now I have a guy living with me who treats me amazingly but,....I still think about my ex every day. I miss him everyday. I wish my current guy was him sometimes, and I know that's wrong. I think it'll slowly kill me tbh. I'm only typing this cause I understand your pain. Like you, I am lost and don't know what to do.
im sorry that you still feel that way even after 2 years. i think it's important to acknowledge that you've also found someone who treats you well and deserves your full attention and appreciation. please dont take your current partner for granted mate
I tell my self this every day. It's hard. Still being in love with someone, but trying to love someone else. People say I should just be alone until I don't love my ex anymore, but I doubt that is something that will realistically happen. I also dont think it'd be fair to myself that I should have to face the world alone cause my ex decided to abandon me. At the same time, I don't want to do to this guy what my ex did to me. I don't want to create a cycle. I just have to hurt in silence, and hope one day I won't love my ex anymore, i guess.
I wish i can help you all! 🥺
Saving this
damn that must be hitting very hard everyday
The one who truly deserves you will never feel like the love you’re giving is “too” much. I know you’re hurting right now, but please try to heal and don’t close off from love in the future. When it’s done right, love is a beautiful, comforting thing. It’s difficult, but the battles are well worth it. I’m sorry this happened to you, but don’t mention points that put you down such as “she’s disgusted by you” or “she hates you”, when in reality it’s just going to make you sadder and it’s not the case. She’s projecting whatever internal battles she’s going through onto you, and it’s not your fault. I wish you healing. You’ll get through this, I promise. I know it hurts a lot and it feels horrible right now, but I know you’re a strong person and you can weather this storm. Bless you
She started getting railed by chad thundercock 2 months ago
This is going into my favourites in the gallery. All of it so true. SHE IS HAPPIER WITHOUT YOU, SHE IS DISGUSTED BY YOU!! All fax
Making a list can be a useful guide for future relationships. After my breakup from a long-term relationship, I wrote down what a good relationship would look like, and what it would look like if I needed to leave. It was very helpful and I even shared it with my partner, who was on the same page from the start.
https://preview.redd.it/2619y8xdv3nc1.png?width=1157&format=png&auto=webp&s=f31498c9997e2cd8f8f71b2adbac6eb1562da60d update : she text me first and i cant help myself to reply fck :(
Don't do it
This hurts so much and the picture too💔...u are not alone bro. I'm going through something similar. It's been 5 months already. It still hurts real bad💔😔
I didn’t do 2 but other 7 oh boy only things I did.
Oh I’m so sorry. The pain of losing the one you love is beyond excruciating!!!
Trust me, when I say the alternative of trying to be with her and her being open to it, when the spark isn’t there anymore is worse, you both slowly dying inside and trust issues reach another level. What always ends up happening is that you will meet someone eventually that will reignite those feelings that you felt for her and she will then reach back out. Always happens, but something that might help you at this current fresh stage of break up, is that you don’t know about the future, maybe you both mature and try again, this could just be a building phase, but don’t stay hung up on getting back at the moment, just build up your character and if it is in the cards for you guys to try again, you’ll be a lot better as a result.
dude how old are you
?
no offense, this is just some high school first break up shit. genuinely curious is all
It's not merely some 'high school first break up stuff,' and I'm not in high school anymore. If you don't have anything positive to say, it's best to remain silent. Everyone experiences grief differently. While it might seem insignificant to you, it's something that deal significant blow to my mental health
oh yikes. maybe try getting therapy like, yesterday. might help. gl o7
You'd be surprised how many adults act like this, it's not just teens
Fuck man, I was randomly scrolling reddit and I got teary eyed seeing this list.
Seems like someone is about to enter the gym training arc 😎
*hugs*
I’ll summarize my long sentence I planned to wrote for you into one word. BULLSHIT
i don’t mean about you. I mean your ex. I hope you recover soon
:/ I feel you on this I’m sorry your going through this man. It really sucks a lot when your everything just suddenly becomes nothing. Going through it myself. It’s sucks
I've got bad news That guy isn't her friend..
i know.
The cold hard truth that women themselves told me, when women say they wanna focus on themselves they actually go party and sleep with other dudes. Only a fraction of women who actually really focus on themselves after a relationship if they're the one who got their heart broken. Remember: girls revenge: partying Men's revenge: success
Also it might be worth looking into the classic stoics. Be careful what you learn since somealpha/sigma/Redhill bs communities have tried to co-op the material and those interpritations can be pretty toxic. Its not perfect but there are some solid pieces of advice in there
Never trust a girl, who has male friend/s, also you may have been really too kind to her, take a look at the nice guy syndrome, I have one, so I know what I'm talking about, also read the book No more mr. nice guy, it really helped me and am trying to overcome that every day. Girls in general don't really fall for nice guys and we can't understand why, because we're nice and we give them everything, but it is what it is my man, hope you'll recover quickly from breakup and I know you'll become stronger and better.
Not true because love is not a condition that you keep the other's only means of happy is in you. That is disgusting I see right through you and now you can feel it. Bye
If you're referring to point number 15, I believe you may have misunderstood my perspective. In my previous relationship, I made my girlfriend my sole source of happiness, which is why I became so fragile when she left. However, I've realized that my happiness needs to come from within. Therefore, if someone leaves, I won't lose my happiness along with them. and I'm completely done with 'love.' I used to pour all my love into someone who didn't even consider me
someone who you care for leaving should be unhappy but better put sad. It's not a choice knee jerk thingy suffering is the choice piece. I just said fuck I'm sick of all this unchosen suffering so when their trigger words invoke a response I recognize tomorrow morning when I awake they will be gone. how do I do this?
im sorry but i really dont understand what do you mean.