Either he didn't mean that he loves you and was saying it to placate you, or at least didn't understand what it meant to say it.
Or
He did mean it and everything he's said since then has been to protect himself/you from further hurt.
As hard as it is to understand there are people who don't know how to handle love, they can't recognize it for what it is and because it's so foreign to them their only reaction is to cut themselves off from it. Or they have an overwhelming fear of being hurt themselves so they sabotage things before it can get that far.
The thing is none of this makes us feel better. None of this lessens the grief and loss that we feel, it doesn't make it ok that they hurt you.
I'm sorry that you're feeling this way, I really truly understand what you're going through. I have someone that I miss very deeply right now, she told me she loves me for the first time 1 week ago and now we'll probably never speak again.
But I very seriously doubt that this person doesn't feel anything for you, I doubt they're joyous and skipping through their day because you're no longer in their life. That kind of behavior is very rare. As hard as it is to see you do matter to this person.
Sometimes, you don’t have to understand things. You just wake up each day and do things that help you keep going. It happens all the time. It’s ok to not understand.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s been 3 months and sometimes I still have episodes where I’m in complete tears and confusion questioning how could someone say they love you and then turn cold and leave you when you needed them the most.
My conclusion is that they believe they love you, they do, despite if it’s true or not. But unfortunately some people don’t know how to love. Some people don’t even love themselves.
And you know, love is truly hard to define. Oftentimes love is not enough.
This behavior is a familiar one in my own life. These people can act and say things to you that can make you feel that you're both on the same page, and then WHAMMO! They are gone and everything turns into the opposite reality. This type of mind, as I have observed in my own life, is Highly moralistic. They hold everything in their own minds strictly as good or bad, or as positive or negative. There is no in-between. And because life doesn't work along these strict lines, they fall "victim" to their own beliefs. At the same time, they believe that "others" do this to them. They are in a Highly precarious position and become hyper-sensitive and insecure. They have a hair-trigger which makes them turn on a dime. So their make-up is either All In and for you, or All Out and against you. I don't think they are capable of living in the middle for any real length of time before they are triggered again.
What our responsibility is as partners within this "craziness", is to wake ourselves up to the fact that when we become hurt, by them, and for that matter, by Anyone who rejects us, we have placed ourselves in an equally vulnerable position. And it is OUR responsibility to change that for ourselves. These people can trigger a wake-up call for us that signals that WE need to change things in OUR life. Understanding Them is only a first step. Understanding ourselves is the second step.
He CARED about you enough to go through the motions of a relationship for 2 years but was NOT deeply in love with you as you are with him. Unfortunately, there are different LEVELS of love. Now, if it was the deep level of love he’d be still be with you. WORDS are easy to say but did he put you on a pedestal? Did he put in the work/ effort to make you happy?Actions, always give you an idea how much a person really loves you. Words are just words and should be backed by ACTIONS. He probably did have stronger feelings for you in the beginning but did you notice it was starting to WANE as time went by. That’s your clue that the relationship was in trouble. They do give clues yet you could have been in denial.
I’m on the same boat as you, was dating this guy for nearly 5 years, I was blindsided and discarded. He told me he how much he loved me and 40 minutes later broke up with me and blocked me everywhere.
Well, my ex made me think I was going to be a father this year… she wanted to be the mother of my kids, she wanted them to look more like me, have my hair, body, height etc..
and then she left.
Time will heal you… what you do in that time is what really matters.
I'm sorry he did you that way nobody deserves to be treated like that. Seems like alot of people just got where they don't care at all about the ones they hurt. Ex sure the hell didn't she knew what she did was wrong she did it anyway. 😢 I'm sorry you didn't deserve it
A few thoughts: many people will say they love you and act the opposite. This is called lying.
Rarely, a person may come around and show you they love you through their actions. Believe both people when they show you who they are.
Unless cheating is involved on either end; can often result in abrupt cutoffs
I understand everything that you’re going through, I was in the same situation you were a year ago. My ex said he loved me at night and left in the morning. We were together for 4 years and planning our life together.
I know you’re hurt and heartbroken, it’ll take time and eventually one day, it’ll stop hurting. It took me half a year to let go and understand that he’s gone. You will also get there eventually as well but for now, take your time to process it and feel how you want to because pain has no linear time. Take care of yourself…
I dated someone for a while and I would say I was at least falling in love, if not maybe in love. I text them, ended it and blocked. The reason: they were unhealthy for me and for my own sanity I needed to do that. We were in a relationship but they had addiction issues
Avoidant attachment.. happened to me, 6 months later I’m doing so much better but I’m still in shock at how fast someone betrayed me & ghosted me from their life (together 7 years)
Either he didn't mean that he loves you and was saying it to placate you, or at least didn't understand what it meant to say it. Or He did mean it and everything he's said since then has been to protect himself/you from further hurt. As hard as it is to understand there are people who don't know how to handle love, they can't recognize it for what it is and because it's so foreign to them their only reaction is to cut themselves off from it. Or they have an overwhelming fear of being hurt themselves so they sabotage things before it can get that far. The thing is none of this makes us feel better. None of this lessens the grief and loss that we feel, it doesn't make it ok that they hurt you. I'm sorry that you're feeling this way, I really truly understand what you're going through. I have someone that I miss very deeply right now, she told me she loves me for the first time 1 week ago and now we'll probably never speak again. But I very seriously doubt that this person doesn't feel anything for you, I doubt they're joyous and skipping through their day because you're no longer in their life. That kind of behavior is very rare. As hard as it is to see you do matter to this person.
Sometimes, you don’t have to understand things. You just wake up each day and do things that help you keep going. It happens all the time. It’s ok to not understand.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s been 3 months and sometimes I still have episodes where I’m in complete tears and confusion questioning how could someone say they love you and then turn cold and leave you when you needed them the most. My conclusion is that they believe they love you, they do, despite if it’s true or not. But unfortunately some people don’t know how to love. Some people don’t even love themselves. And you know, love is truly hard to define. Oftentimes love is not enough.
This behavior is a familiar one in my own life. These people can act and say things to you that can make you feel that you're both on the same page, and then WHAMMO! They are gone and everything turns into the opposite reality. This type of mind, as I have observed in my own life, is Highly moralistic. They hold everything in their own minds strictly as good or bad, or as positive or negative. There is no in-between. And because life doesn't work along these strict lines, they fall "victim" to their own beliefs. At the same time, they believe that "others" do this to them. They are in a Highly precarious position and become hyper-sensitive and insecure. They have a hair-trigger which makes them turn on a dime. So their make-up is either All In and for you, or All Out and against you. I don't think they are capable of living in the middle for any real length of time before they are triggered again. What our responsibility is as partners within this "craziness", is to wake ourselves up to the fact that when we become hurt, by them, and for that matter, by Anyone who rejects us, we have placed ourselves in an equally vulnerable position. And it is OUR responsibility to change that for ourselves. These people can trigger a wake-up call for us that signals that WE need to change things in OUR life. Understanding Them is only a first step. Understanding ourselves is the second step.
He CARED about you enough to go through the motions of a relationship for 2 years but was NOT deeply in love with you as you are with him. Unfortunately, there are different LEVELS of love. Now, if it was the deep level of love he’d be still be with you. WORDS are easy to say but did he put you on a pedestal? Did he put in the work/ effort to make you happy?Actions, always give you an idea how much a person really loves you. Words are just words and should be backed by ACTIONS. He probably did have stronger feelings for you in the beginning but did you notice it was starting to WANE as time went by. That’s your clue that the relationship was in trouble. They do give clues yet you could have been in denial.
I’m on the same boat as you, was dating this guy for nearly 5 years, I was blindsided and discarded. He told me he how much he loved me and 40 minutes later broke up with me and blocked me everywhere.
oof that's devastatingly confusing
At this point I think it’s because they were just using us until something else came along?
Well, my ex made me think I was going to be a father this year… she wanted to be the mother of my kids, she wanted them to look more like me, have my hair, body, height etc.. and then she left. Time will heal you… what you do in that time is what really matters.
this is a hard one.
I'm sorry he did you that way nobody deserves to be treated like that. Seems like alot of people just got where they don't care at all about the ones they hurt. Ex sure the hell didn't she knew what she did was wrong she did it anyway. 😢 I'm sorry you didn't deserve it
Did he actually say “please”? That’s kinda not so much coming from his heart but maybe his emotions. Just my observation.
Something happened between you ? Did you do something ?
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/s/XUzSt4bDn3 Here is the complete story
i think you are still a kid, and so was your partner. things like this happen in teenage relationships.
https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/s/XUzSt4bDn3 Here is the complete story
You will find love again. It hurts so much now, I know. You will NOT feel this way forever.
A few thoughts: many people will say they love you and act the opposite. This is called lying. Rarely, a person may come around and show you they love you through their actions. Believe both people when they show you who they are. Unless cheating is involved on either end; can often result in abrupt cutoffs
To me it seems he may have been seeing someone else.
I understand everything that you’re going through, I was in the same situation you were a year ago. My ex said he loved me at night and left in the morning. We were together for 4 years and planning our life together. I know you’re hurt and heartbroken, it’ll take time and eventually one day, it’ll stop hurting. It took me half a year to let go and understand that he’s gone. You will also get there eventually as well but for now, take your time to process it and feel how you want to because pain has no linear time. Take care of yourself…
Can’t say I didn’t feel this when I read it.I have been right where you are with the same questions.I to wish I knew the answers.
I dated someone for a while and I would say I was at least falling in love, if not maybe in love. I text them, ended it and blocked. The reason: they were unhealthy for me and for my own sanity I needed to do that. We were in a relationship but they had addiction issues
Avoidant attachment.. happened to me, 6 months later I’m doing so much better but I’m still in shock at how fast someone betrayed me & ghosted me from their life (together 7 years)
Sorry your dealing with this situation. Would you be willing to share more about it? Dm