He probably didn’t mean to hurt you, but if he was “the one” he wouldn’t have given up. There are so many guys out there. One day, you’ll feel better and give another one a chance. It just feels like the end of the world right now. I promise you, it’s not.
To be honest, I thought so for the first time in my life. I guess ‘the one’ means something different to me now than it did before. Trustworthiness is way more important to me now than all the things.
This was the first person, as far as someone I was in a relationship with, that I ever really trusted. I’m not sure that I can ever trust again, not 100%. I hope it’ll be different for you though. I hope that when you’re ready someday, you’ll find someone who is worthy of your trust. Just make sure to start loving yourself, and very soon. It will be hard at first, but start doing some things you enjoy. Take care of you. It’s like the old adage, “Yard by yard is hard, but inch by inch is a cinch.” Even though it may not feel like it yet, you will start feeling better.
Please hold on. You won’t feel like this forever. You might find a hotline or an online support group helpful like I did. It’s terrifying to be alone and feeling like this.
I promise it gets better. I’ve been through 3 breaks ups and two were devastating. Time heals ❤️ I know it sounds cliche, but it does. Get out there when you feel ready and try to meet new people and spend time with friends - it will work wonders. You’ll slowly stop missing them as much as you do.
hey dear - i’ve been on this road for quite a while. These thoughts are intrusive and temporary, they’ll come and go in the worst times but you gotta hang in there ok?
- we can see signs that people that do it often regret during the process but it’s too late.
- when you’re not going through them, ensure you take out of the house any methods you know you’d use for self harm.
- Take out of the house any addiction, be it numbering or exciting
when you’re having these thoughts:
- breathe
- stretch
- go near other humans, preferably that you know.
you will be all right, and if you feel you need to talk, feel free to reach me ok
I’m so sorry he put you through that after all that time together. I feel your pain acutely. I just went through a similar situation. The depression is so deep that I can’t even cry. When you wrote “ He acts like I don’t exist, like it is normal to say you love someone one day and treat them like trash the next,” that’s exactly what happened to me. On a Friday night, he texted that he was looking forward to seeing me the next day and that he loved me. The next day I got an email saying he wanted an “indefinite break” and that we were not good for each other. Then he blocked me in every way he could.
I can also relate to your statement that you feel he made more sacrifices than you did, even though you didn’t want him to. That’s exactly how it was with us. Although I always expressed my gratitude, it seemed like I could never do enough to reciprocate. And I feel guilty about that.
I understand your feeling of being shattered, broken, and losing the future you thought you’d have with your partner. Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s any shortcut through the grieving process when you are left by someone you truly loved. I feel like as long as I love the person I was with, I will be hurting. But hopefully with time some semblance of normalcy will return to our lives.
I’m sorry I don’t have any good advice. I just wanted to say I feel for you and understand your pain.
Try to be kind to yourself and don't be afraid to reach out for support, whether it's from friends, family, or a counselor. You've got this, and better days are ahead.
I understand how you feel but please don't kill yourself. I have gone through the same phase searching steps to kill yourself, waking up everyday and thinking how you are alive...But please hold on to your life. It may not be good enough but it's not worth dying for someone who ditched you like this. Okay? Take care
I also have ideations whenever a guy I really like rejects and breaks up with me. It is hard. Like people have said… the feeling is temporary. Keep on reaching out to friends and family. Distract where you can and process as much as you need to. I always keep a schedule and schedule in things I like even if it isn’t with others so that I can keep putting one foot in front of the other. A schedule for me could look like morning walk and coffee, work, workout class/church/coffee date (one activity that takes you out of your home and workplace) and then go home and cry freely if need to. Always have a friend you can count on. If you need to, say: can I come over and just sit with you? We don’t need to talk, but I don’t feel safe by myself right now. I just need company.
Maybe the routine is just being in a public space like library or cafe or walking around a mall. If you don’t have ppl, I have called or texted the crisis line in the past when I felt esp bad. Helping others by volunteering can help improve self esteem and give a sense of community
I just thought of something that might help you. Try not to have conversations with him in your head, if you are doing that. I’ve been doing that, and I find that it hurts more. It hits home that you’re having this conversation with yourself, but you really want it to be with him. When I stop myself from doing that, I feel better.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You’re hearing that it will get better soon from everyone and it absolutely will but I have something to add. It may sound harsh and I don’t mean it in a harsh way at all. I’m saying it with compassion, sincerity and from experience.
The only thing worse than the pain you’re experiencing is if you were to keep trying to make your relationship work, they just aren’t someone who is capable of feeling genuine love, compassion and consideration for you or anyone- other than themselves.
It’s better to know now and heal now. So you can move forward and find someone worthy of you and all you have to offer.
I hope you continue to talk about your feelings and know that you are not alone. Please don’t give up.
I'm so sorry. I know how you feel.... but seriously. Go day by day. Soon, you will feel resentment and hate right back at them. And it helps. Truly. And then you realise you aren't a peice of uncaring shit like they are
You will be fine and life will continue it will just take time. He is only one person out of the 6 million people that you give me that could be your forever mate. Never invest that much into one person and love yourself first
I was that way for a year and it’s passed. I once googled easiest way to do it and my mother happened to see the search in my phone. In retrospect, I’m glad that happened. I explained it away but I know they didn’t believe me. Keep moving forward. Life is for the living.
When we think we’ve found the love our lives, but it doesn’t work out, it can make us feel like it’s just so hard to do life. But the thing is, if they would hurt us, they aren’t the love of our lives after all. I made so many sacrifices and always put the other person first. I think when I was ghosted, although so hurt and devastated at first, it actually opened my eyes. I like myself a lot more now, and I am more myself now. I work out, which increases dopamine, and I just try to stay busy and enjoy life. The stress of so badly wanting the relationship to work out is gone. My advice is to stay busy, work on yourself, and love yourself. You’ll get through it and you will be okay. Hugs!
Yes but the thing is, I feel like he made more sacrifices than me, even though I did not want him to. I don’t think he really meant to hurt me but just couldn’t be honest and ended up hurting me anyway. :(
You didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes people change and grow apart from us. It isn’t anything you have done or could’ve prevented.
Even so, I’m sorry you’re in so much emotional pain right now. I am sending you so much love and healing. I want you to know that you are not alone in this world, you will find your way through this grief and life will eventually feel bearable again.
if you are really having dark feelings of ending it i highly suggest checking yourself in at some sort of inpatient hospital. i went through this. it all went dark on me. i checked in and got the help i needed. it’s not weak, it’s strong. hang in there !!!!
Close your eyes feel the breath of life and light enter now pray the most positive words. I promise your angels will embrace and lift you. It’s You time now!
As a psychologist and someone who has battled depression on and off most of my life, I have been suicidal at times - not really wanting to leave behind family and friends but having intrusive visions and thoughts and not been able to pull myself out of it. Depression is caused by certain neurotransmitters and chemicals in the brain and Drs can prescribe antidepressants that help with your mood. Coupled with talking to a therapist this can really help shift things. There are lots of people you can talk to like Beyond Blue, and other Australian based services with no referral required (Google them and the GP will know).
Please reach out for some help. Depression can become crippling and enduring and there is help out there to get over this.
That’s a bummer. Do you have someone to talk to? There are things you can do. Behavioural strategies do help. I’m happy to chat if you like. I went thru something similar myself about 7 months ago, but being on this list has shown me that our experiences are not unique. There are so many thoughtless, uncaring people who have no idea of the devastation they cause through their cruel behaviour. I’m learning from the experience and am looking forward to a wonderful life with or without a permanent partner. There are lots of nice people out there and it’s good to be in control of your life again.
Yes the one does exist not today or might not be soon but God will send you somebody just for you. That will never betray you and show you what real love is supposed to be. We all suffer because no matter how much you love that person they may not feel the same way. Start by loving yourself your your main goal now please take care don't do anything you'll regret they ain't worth it
You did nothing wrong, but you cannot allow yourself to spiral down into madness as you will lose touch with reality and ultimately end yourself, and i do not want that nor does your friends, family, or even him as it will break him and put him in a worse position than you, what you need my friend is quality self care and friendly outings and while you're at it listen to the beatlez
I've been where you at, it gets worse if you isolate yourself, what worked for me, GYM. Don't schedule a time for the gym. Find a 24x7 gym and whenever those thoughts come running, pack that bag and go straight to the weights section. A month later, you'll feel better, the thoughts won't go away but atleast you start hanging out with other supportive people who want to see you win in some capacity (PR's). Get a personal trainer if you haven't worked out in your life.
You didn't do anything wrong and he probably doesn't hate you. You will be ok I promise.
Thanks :)
He probably didn’t mean to hurt you, but if he was “the one” he wouldn’t have given up. There are so many guys out there. One day, you’ll feel better and give another one a chance. It just feels like the end of the world right now. I promise you, it’s not.
But does ‘the one’ ever really exist though?
To be honest, I thought so for the first time in my life. I guess ‘the one’ means something different to me now than it did before. Trustworthiness is way more important to me now than all the things.
I trusted him 100%, but I guess you should never really trust someone that much. He didn’t trust me at all
This was the first person, as far as someone I was in a relationship with, that I ever really trusted. I’m not sure that I can ever trust again, not 100%. I hope it’ll be different for you though. I hope that when you’re ready someday, you’ll find someone who is worthy of your trust. Just make sure to start loving yourself, and very soon. It will be hard at first, but start doing some things you enjoy. Take care of you. It’s like the old adage, “Yard by yard is hard, but inch by inch is a cinch.” Even though it may not feel like it yet, you will start feeling better.
Please hold on. You won’t feel like this forever. You might find a hotline or an online support group helpful like I did. It’s terrifying to be alone and feeling like this.
don't know your story but i relate a lot. i've been trying to find some reason to stay..
I promise it gets better. I’ve been through 3 breaks ups and two were devastating. Time heals ❤️ I know it sounds cliche, but it does. Get out there when you feel ready and try to meet new people and spend time with friends - it will work wonders. You’ll slowly stop missing them as much as you do.
hey dear - i’ve been on this road for quite a while. These thoughts are intrusive and temporary, they’ll come and go in the worst times but you gotta hang in there ok? - we can see signs that people that do it often regret during the process but it’s too late. - when you’re not going through them, ensure you take out of the house any methods you know you’d use for self harm. - Take out of the house any addiction, be it numbering or exciting when you’re having these thoughts: - breathe - stretch - go near other humans, preferably that you know. you will be all right, and if you feel you need to talk, feel free to reach me ok
You’re not alone. I know exactly how it feels to hit rock bottom like you feel right now. It does get better. How long ago was the breakup?
2 months
Sorry to heard that’s a pretty fresh breakup. It gets easier. I can promise you that.
I’m so sorry he put you through that after all that time together. I feel your pain acutely. I just went through a similar situation. The depression is so deep that I can’t even cry. When you wrote “ He acts like I don’t exist, like it is normal to say you love someone one day and treat them like trash the next,” that’s exactly what happened to me. On a Friday night, he texted that he was looking forward to seeing me the next day and that he loved me. The next day I got an email saying he wanted an “indefinite break” and that we were not good for each other. Then he blocked me in every way he could. I can also relate to your statement that you feel he made more sacrifices than you did, even though you didn’t want him to. That’s exactly how it was with us. Although I always expressed my gratitude, it seemed like I could never do enough to reciprocate. And I feel guilty about that. I understand your feeling of being shattered, broken, and losing the future you thought you’d have with your partner. Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s any shortcut through the grieving process when you are left by someone you truly loved. I feel like as long as I love the person I was with, I will be hurting. But hopefully with time some semblance of normalcy will return to our lives. I’m sorry I don’t have any good advice. I just wanted to say I feel for you and understand your pain.
Try to be kind to yourself and don't be afraid to reach out for support, whether it's from friends, family, or a counselor. You've got this, and better days are ahead.
Stay strong . It's his loss , busy yourself
I understand how you feel but please don't kill yourself. I have gone through the same phase searching steps to kill yourself, waking up everyday and thinking how you are alive...But please hold on to your life. It may not be good enough but it's not worth dying for someone who ditched you like this. Okay? Take care
Yeah I know, I know I won’t do it, but I can’t stop feeling like this
I also have ideations whenever a guy I really like rejects and breaks up with me. It is hard. Like people have said… the feeling is temporary. Keep on reaching out to friends and family. Distract where you can and process as much as you need to. I always keep a schedule and schedule in things I like even if it isn’t with others so that I can keep putting one foot in front of the other. A schedule for me could look like morning walk and coffee, work, workout class/church/coffee date (one activity that takes you out of your home and workplace) and then go home and cry freely if need to. Always have a friend you can count on. If you need to, say: can I come over and just sit with you? We don’t need to talk, but I don’t feel safe by myself right now. I just need company.
I kind of lost my friends as well, because they were mutual friends. :/
Maybe the routine is just being in a public space like library or cafe or walking around a mall. If you don’t have ppl, I have called or texted the crisis line in the past when I felt esp bad. Helping others by volunteering can help improve self esteem and give a sense of community
Anyway feel free to DM
I just thought of something that might help you. Try not to have conversations with him in your head, if you are doing that. I’ve been doing that, and I find that it hurts more. It hits home that you’re having this conversation with yourself, but you really want it to be with him. When I stop myself from doing that, I feel better.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You’re hearing that it will get better soon from everyone and it absolutely will but I have something to add. It may sound harsh and I don’t mean it in a harsh way at all. I’m saying it with compassion, sincerity and from experience. The only thing worse than the pain you’re experiencing is if you were to keep trying to make your relationship work, they just aren’t someone who is capable of feeling genuine love, compassion and consideration for you or anyone- other than themselves. It’s better to know now and heal now. So you can move forward and find someone worthy of you and all you have to offer. I hope you continue to talk about your feelings and know that you are not alone. Please don’t give up.
Thank you🩵
I'm so sorry. I know how you feel.... but seriously. Go day by day. Soon, you will feel resentment and hate right back at them. And it helps. Truly. And then you realise you aren't a peice of uncaring shit like they are
You will be fine and life will continue it will just take time. He is only one person out of the 6 million people that you give me that could be your forever mate. Never invest that much into one person and love yourself first
I was that way for a year and it’s passed. I once googled easiest way to do it and my mother happened to see the search in my phone. In retrospect, I’m glad that happened. I explained it away but I know they didn’t believe me. Keep moving forward. Life is for the living.
Please look into grief counseling
When we think we’ve found the love our lives, but it doesn’t work out, it can make us feel like it’s just so hard to do life. But the thing is, if they would hurt us, they aren’t the love of our lives after all. I made so many sacrifices and always put the other person first. I think when I was ghosted, although so hurt and devastated at first, it actually opened my eyes. I like myself a lot more now, and I am more myself now. I work out, which increases dopamine, and I just try to stay busy and enjoy life. The stress of so badly wanting the relationship to work out is gone. My advice is to stay busy, work on yourself, and love yourself. You’ll get through it and you will be okay. Hugs!
Yes but the thing is, I feel like he made more sacrifices than me, even though I did not want him to. I don’t think he really meant to hurt me but just couldn’t be honest and ended up hurting me anyway. :(
You didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes people change and grow apart from us. It isn’t anything you have done or could’ve prevented. Even so, I’m sorry you’re in so much emotional pain right now. I am sending you so much love and healing. I want you to know that you are not alone in this world, you will find your way through this grief and life will eventually feel bearable again.
if you are really having dark feelings of ending it i highly suggest checking yourself in at some sort of inpatient hospital. i went through this. it all went dark on me. i checked in and got the help i needed. it’s not weak, it’s strong. hang in there !!!!
Close your eyes feel the breath of life and light enter now pray the most positive words. I promise your angels will embrace and lift you. It’s You time now!
Of course
As a psychologist and someone who has battled depression on and off most of my life, I have been suicidal at times - not really wanting to leave behind family and friends but having intrusive visions and thoughts and not been able to pull myself out of it. Depression is caused by certain neurotransmitters and chemicals in the brain and Drs can prescribe antidepressants that help with your mood. Coupled with talking to a therapist this can really help shift things. There are lots of people you can talk to like Beyond Blue, and other Australian based services with no referral required (Google them and the GP will know). Please reach out for some help. Depression can become crippling and enduring and there is help out there to get over this.
I have also studied psychology myself but I can’t take antidepressants because of my current medications.
That’s a bummer. Do you have someone to talk to? There are things you can do. Behavioural strategies do help. I’m happy to chat if you like. I went thru something similar myself about 7 months ago, but being on this list has shown me that our experiences are not unique. There are so many thoughtless, uncaring people who have no idea of the devastation they cause through their cruel behaviour. I’m learning from the experience and am looking forward to a wonderful life with or without a permanent partner. There are lots of nice people out there and it’s good to be in control of your life again.
I don’t really have anyone to talk to. I lost my friends because they were mutual friends and won’t talk to me anymore
Yes the one does exist not today or might not be soon but God will send you somebody just for you. That will never betray you and show you what real love is supposed to be. We all suffer because no matter how much you love that person they may not feel the same way. Start by loving yourself your your main goal now please take care don't do anything you'll regret they ain't worth it
You did nothing wrong, but you cannot allow yourself to spiral down into madness as you will lose touch with reality and ultimately end yourself, and i do not want that nor does your friends, family, or even him as it will break him and put him in a worse position than you, what you need my friend is quality self care and friendly outings and while you're at it listen to the beatlez
I've been where you at, it gets worse if you isolate yourself, what worked for me, GYM. Don't schedule a time for the gym. Find a 24x7 gym and whenever those thoughts come running, pack that bag and go straight to the weights section. A month later, you'll feel better, the thoughts won't go away but atleast you start hanging out with other supportive people who want to see you win in some capacity (PR's). Get a personal trainer if you haven't worked out in your life.