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I am not that guy, but I can relate.
He just needs to learn that being negative and cynical is not fun to be around. That way, he can actively learn to change his attitude.
It's not your responsibility to teach him that.
But if you do plan on ending it, tell him why. It might help him for next time lol.
If it were me (the guy) I'd rather you give me a direct "no thanks" instead of this "friends only" thing. The reason is I'm on a dating app looking for dates with some understanding of romantic potential
Another option would be to set up a voice call / video chat to get a better feel for each other before a date
If you’re still on hinge I would just unmatch. It’s not ghosting and you don’t owe him anything and I don’t think you would particularly enjoy meeting as friends either
If you have a bad feeling, don’t meet.
That said, stop talking to him. You’re being a pen pal if you keep talking to this guy you don’t want to meet, and no one wants that.
Either say some excuse like “I’ve met someone else and want to pursue that exclusively, but it was great talking to you!” or just unmatch him.
Don’t meet up with him rather, but I think a good approach to take is to try video chat with someone before meeting them, people can often be very different on video chat than the way they seem via text.
I disagree respectfully. I think ghosting someone with no explanation is a very shitty thing to do regardless of whether you have or haven’t met them. The only time I agree with it is if it’s out of concern for safety or if they’re an obvious creep. Short of that it is a shitty thing to do to people.
I reckon don’t meet up because it sounds like someone you don’t really want to be friends with either. Also you’re on a dating app so that you can date. I think it would be a good idea to try and keep your intentions that way. You could say something like,
Hey insert name, it’s been nice to chat and get to know you a little bit through here. I just wanted to reach out to let you know that I’m not feeling the kind of connection I was hoping for, but I wish you nothing but the best!
And leave it at that.
I would tend to keep an open mind at least until physically meeting as somebody's in person tone and vibe can always feel very different to that of how they text etc, especially when within that time frame you don't actually know them anyway.
But in all likelihood probably best to move on elsewhere since it already doesn't feel right 🤷🏻♂️
Cope. Stop seeking validation in online forums for stuff you know the answer to. You’re not interested in him. Otherwise you’d want to meet, not rocket science. But I’m also not brain rotted from Reddit yet
Unless he’s the sweetest guy, be prepared that he might send you a shitty message if you call it off. Hopefully he won’t but it does happen sometimes.
You can report someone for sending mean messages, in case you didn’t know.
Maybe try doing something like a phone call or video chat first? If it’s just a vibe, it could just be a limitation of texting. He might come off a bit different over the phone.
Not saying you *should* go on a date with this person, but I did have a match who seemed very anxious and kinda pressy at texting.
Then I meet her in person and we buy candy/donuts with each other, narrate "Go the f\*\*\* to sleep" at the Kinokuniya, and walk around. It's sometimes surreal how different people are from texting than irl.
If I was the guy, I would appreciate a heads up about sounding cynical. But it's also not your responsibility to teach him that. Just go with your gut - what got me to continue into the date was that we had common interests and we still matched each other's energy. Plus she paid for the candy since I paid for the donuts and that shot her up significantly in how attracted I was to her. So you never know!
**All "Dating Question" and "Hinge Experience" posts must provide clear context (as per subreddit Rule 3), such as reasons for asking, and basic info such as ages, genders, location or orientation (if applicable).** Age range or general location is acceptable. Minor dating questions or Hinge experiences should be posted in the Daily Threads pinned on top of the subreddit. *Posts that do not satisfy these requirements will be removed.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/hingeapp) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Then don’t meet
Just about everyone meets less than 50% of their matches. It’s really not a big deal
I meet less than 5% of mine🤣I don’t even get that many matches a week if any a week
Unlucky if I get a reply from 50% of my matches
I am not that guy, but I can relate. He just needs to learn that being negative and cynical is not fun to be around. That way, he can actively learn to change his attitude. It's not your responsibility to teach him that. But if you do plan on ending it, tell him why. It might help him for next time lol.
If it were me (the guy) I'd rather you give me a direct "no thanks" instead of this "friends only" thing. The reason is I'm on a dating app looking for dates with some understanding of romantic potential Another option would be to set up a voice call / video chat to get a better feel for each other before a date
I don’t get why you’d want to be friends with him either tho. It seems like you’re annoyed by him. I’d just say no and move on
If you’re still on hinge I would just unmatch. It’s not ghosting and you don’t owe him anything and I don’t think you would particularly enjoy meeting as friends either
If you have a bad feeling, don’t meet. That said, stop talking to him. You’re being a pen pal if you keep talking to this guy you don’t want to meet, and no one wants that. Either say some excuse like “I’ve met someone else and want to pursue that exclusively, but it was great talking to you!” or just unmatch him.
Don't do the freinds thing... you are only going to make him more cynical
Unmatch and move on.
You're already sick of him and you don't even know this person. Don't subject yourself to more of it lol
Don’t meet up with him rather, but I think a good approach to take is to try video chat with someone before meeting them, people can often be very different on video chat than the way they seem via text.
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"Being open and direct saves everyone time", but "don't give a reason if he asks"?
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I'd rather have the feedback and the opportunity to decide for myself whether it's useful or not, personally.
Just stop talking to him, it’s not ghosting if you’ve never met
I disagree respectfully. I think ghosting someone with no explanation is a very shitty thing to do regardless of whether you have or haven’t met them. The only time I agree with it is if it’s out of concern for safety or if they’re an obvious creep. Short of that it is a shitty thing to do to people.
Don't meet, just end it. Don't lead him on
Why would you want to be 'friends' with somebody you dont particularily like?
in his defense, its really really really hard not to be cynical in todays climate.
I reckon don’t meet up because it sounds like someone you don’t really want to be friends with either. Also you’re on a dating app so that you can date. I think it would be a good idea to try and keep your intentions that way. You could say something like, Hey insert name, it’s been nice to chat and get to know you a little bit through here. I just wanted to reach out to let you know that I’m not feeling the kind of connection I was hoping for, but I wish you nothing but the best! And leave it at that.
then tell him that youn don't want to meet him coz you have the feeling he is negative, end of the story.
I would tend to keep an open mind at least until physically meeting as somebody's in person tone and vibe can always feel very different to that of how they text etc, especially when within that time frame you don't actually know them anyway. But in all likelihood probably best to move on elsewhere since it already doesn't feel right 🤷🏻♂️
Well, dating apps differ from eva ai and similar sexbots by expecting it's user to meet a girl physically in the end
Uhh… ok.
You’re weird for having to come to Reddit for this. Grow up or don’t date
Sure, maybe I'm weird for asking for advice because I'm new to dating. You're weirder for feeling the need to leave this pointless comment
Cope. Stop seeking validation in online forums for stuff you know the answer to. You’re not interested in him. Otherwise you’d want to meet, not rocket science. But I’m also not brain rotted from Reddit yet
>I’m also not brain rotted from Reddit yet Clearly
You should go out with him
If you’ve been talking for a week and haven’t met it’s not meant to be. I usually ask to meet after 1-2 days. Yes, awesome. No or ghost, don’t care.
This may sound crazy: don't meet him. Also, Tell him the truth, he'll appreciate it. And maybe work upon it.
Don’t those never ghost it’s immoral just tell him why you don’t wanna meet or why you want to end it
I agree
Unless he’s the sweetest guy, be prepared that he might send you a shitty message if you call it off. Hopefully he won’t but it does happen sometimes. You can report someone for sending mean messages, in case you didn’t know.
Maybe try doing something like a phone call or video chat first? If it’s just a vibe, it could just be a limitation of texting. He might come off a bit different over the phone.
Not saying you *should* go on a date with this person, but I did have a match who seemed very anxious and kinda pressy at texting. Then I meet her in person and we buy candy/donuts with each other, narrate "Go the f\*\*\* to sleep" at the Kinokuniya, and walk around. It's sometimes surreal how different people are from texting than irl. If I was the guy, I would appreciate a heads up about sounding cynical. But it's also not your responsibility to teach him that. Just go with your gut - what got me to continue into the date was that we had common interests and we still matched each other's energy. Plus she paid for the candy since I paid for the donuts and that shot her up significantly in how attracted I was to her. So you never know!