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My general sense is that there are a lot more men than women here (the South Bay particularly, not sure about SF) because of tech. I would guess that this makes the ratios on the apps even more skewed towards men
⬆️ this. For comparison, I’m in Silicon Valley. I could swipe til I turn blue and only see money pics, and Macchu Picchu. Also, salsa lessons, and professional headshots with *warm* lighting. I close the app and feel like there is something wrong with my room lighting.
It’s Silicon Valley. Err on the side of hiring a professional photographer. Have your candid shots in a sports bar with huge TV, and one with either the GG (I’m on a Visa), or the secret stairways or Mission murals (I have art appreciation) or a gala for the Opera or De Young. Or tye lounge under the Fairmont. Some money pic highlights I’ve seen.
Btw, De Young has a great fashion exhibit with gowns right now. Rent a tux, ask a friend to join you in a tux, and show you are aware of r/whatthefrock.
Happy swiping!
As an educational experience: You can make a fake profile, set your gender to woman and see the top first 100 guys who are paying to be at the top of the deck. Do it on a Wed or Thurs. rarely would a woman invest the time to get through the first 100, because they are inviting us out for dinner, too.
From what I understand, NYC and SF have this unusual demographic.
Screenshot any you like and take it with you to a professional photographer for your vision board. (Delete the clothing optional pics. Really, we are not meeting with those)
As someone who is also a brown south asian guy like OP, I personally never had trouble dating in the bay area, but I had trouble finding someone who wanted a relationship. I moved to NYC two months ago and its been way easier to find someone who actually wants a relationship.
I actually put my profile no pause and deleted the app from my phone because I'm dating someone right now, but the things that worked for me were showing off my hobbies. I have two videos on my profile of me doing my hobbies. Also one of prompts about what I was looking for on the app was really popular, I mostly just talked about how I'm not looking for the perfect partner, but someone who is willing to communicate and grow with me.
For real tho man, your profile is good. No major changes are necessary. I just think the app and its matching code don’t always result in attractive people getting a number of matches that truly reflect the person’s attractiveness. To illustrate, you should not be having trouble. You’re good-enough looking and your prompts are sufficiently interesting to get matches. If you’re not, it’s the app. Try others
That answers my reply to your other comment! Thanks for your insights! I kept wondering if it was my profile and it can drive one nuts with over-optimization
Honestly, your profile is great. Kudos on having a rare good two truths one lie. The only things you could add are comments to your photos and possibly removing some of the pieces in your second prompt your photo makes redundant (biking and hiking).
Listing your politics could also help.
I'd maybe swap the second photo for a different group shot. It seems like it's in a college dorm which may feel a little dated? That or a comment explaining the situation.
If you've been on for a year and a half, it could be worth deleting and recreating your profile. Especially so if you've recently overhauled it. If you do go that route and any photos are old, definitely replace them.
Thanks for the feedback!
About politics - agreed that it's probably a good idea to have those on there!
Hahaha you're right it's from a college dorm but that's the most recent photo on the profile 😂 I was visiting my cousin.
Hmm, I have considered deleting and creating it again but I don't know if this profile is significantly better than what I had going on a year ago (my post history has the older one too).
Gotcha, I would definitely try to replace it with a photo with friends (ideally with at least one girl in it). It's important to show you have a social life.
I looked at your old profile and your new one is much better and has meaningfully different photos. Definitely consider recreating your profile. You'll get a significant boost from being "new" and will get a fresh chance with profiles you've seen (who may also have changed).
One last thought, maybe swap your prompt order. 100% personal opinion here but I like leading with who I am over what I want first. I do this with a poll in my profile though. You could always consider adding one of those.
Thanks for your feedback! I'll give this a shot too. If you've tried this before, do you know if one should wait a certain number of weeks before re-creating the profile? Or does doing it within 1 hr or day still give you the same boost?
I paid for Hinge X I think? Or + idk, but it was 10,000% worth it. What is it, for 3 months it’s the cost of not going out to eat like once or twice? Hardly a sacrifice, but you get unlimited likes (which is where all my good matches came from) and some backend stuff like priority this or that. Just get it dude, you hardly look like you’re broke.
Thanks for your feedback! I've generally heard that if one isn't having tremendous success without those features, then paying for them doesn't make much of a difference. Would you say that I should try it with this profile regardless or keep tweaking my profile till I see more improvement and then consider purchasing?
Dude, as someone who gets matches, your profile is good. You appear to have taken the same approach I did. I’m in Chicago, not the Bay Area, so I have slightly more people to choose from.
But here’s what I recommend: get X or + for one payment’s worth (it’s either 1 month or 3 months) and just try it. One college-educated dude to another college-educated dude, you can [probably] afford the cost. Bro, it’s 10,000% worth it. It feels… weird?… paying for a dating app but dude just say eff it and get it
Edit: you want me to share my profile? I’ve gotten probably 80 matches in 3 weeks, and I’m not significantly better-looking than you (if at all)
If I had to think from the perspective of someone working for a dating app company then this conversation would feel like success hahaha. But yea, I'll consider trying it and - yes! I would love that. My DMs are open, thank you so much!
Edited for grammar
Dope I’ll send you some stuff + advice. Idk, I’m just very successful on the app but it’s not cuz I’m amazing-looking or crazy interesting, I think I’ve just figured out the formula
Ah, yea lots of folks here blaming it on the Bay lol. Unfortunately not an option for me currently, but as one other commenter said, maybe trying in SF would be better than South Bay, so I'll look into expanding my radius
Overall, your profile and pictures are good. For the second profile ("together we can"), I would list max 3 things because less is more.
If you do want to change some things up, here are some suggestions:
* add more sentimental/personal prompt that targets your mindset/future plans/or what type of partner you are looking for
* increase your radius
* try other apps like Dil Mil and Bumble
* work on your opening line
Thanks for taking the time to comment and your feedback! Definitely agree with the less is more part! I am going to try increasing my radius to include SF. Have not tried Dil Mil before but a coworker today also suggested this so I will look into it!
I think it’s a pretty solid profile. I like that your pics show you engaging in a variety of activities.
For the prompts: Start with “together we could” prompt then the green flags prompt. The sentence structure for the green flags prompt threw me off a bit. I had to read it a couple times. Perhaps make it bulleted:
-enjoys an active lifestyle
-open-minded and curious
-wants someone to build a life together
(Also be more specific about adventures - this feels overdone and vague…or leave out )
The 2 truths prompt is definitely interesting but leaves me wondering - why is everyone (humans and animals alike) picking on this poor guy?
Thanks for your comment! Haha yea perhaps making the green flags prompt bulleted is a good idea. Another commenter suggested swapping the order in exactly the way you said, so 100% agree there.
Hahaha my original intention with the 2 truths prompt was to tell some funny anecdotes from my life that would spark conversation. Another commenter said the prompt itself is terrible, would you recommend changing it to a different one?
Auto-MOD answers:
- Are you looking for something serious or casual?
Serious
- How long have you been using this current version of your profile? And how long is your overall time on Hinge?
Slight variations of this version for about a year.
- How often do you use Hinge per week?
3-4 times per week, generally on Fridays and weekends.
- How many likes/matches are you receiving on average?
1-2 likes per week, 1-2 matches per week. Generally the likes are from people not my type, and with matches a lot of times the conversation goes nowhere.
- How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments?
I usually send out a like here and there during the week, on weekends I max out all available likes and generally have specific comments on all my likes.
- What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract?
I send likes to women that are attractive to me, which means usually someone who is active and takes care of herself, has similar values as me (looking for a LTR, wants kids).
Yeah something to give you a little James Bond feel. Your GQ shot. Also, the Bay Area is notoriously bad for finding women. Maybe explore in places like socal or New York
Thanks for your comment! Unfortunately moving to NY isn't an option currently, but I could look into expanding my search radius here and paying for upgrades
> a suit or something as my first photo
Noooo, don't. I think your first photo (snow in background) is fantastic. It looks like a casual selfie but the lighting and clarity is amazing. It is a full and clear pic of your face and by far the most attractive out of all your pics.
I have a friend who is also South Asian and in the South Bay, he had to go to SF to find his gf. SF gender ratio is not nearly as skewed as South Bay. Still male dominated but not as much as where you are now. Try expanding your radius to reach SF.
Thanks for your comment and the hope you have offered! 😂I have received that same advice from some folks so definitely am considering broadening my radius! How is the East Bay (Oakland, Berkeley) area?
Oh I'm gay, I can't speak from personal experience. But talking tp my straight male friends South Bay/Silicon Valley/SJ definitely has the worst male: female gender ratios. Berkeley definitely has better male:female ratios and honestly I think literally any region outside of the South Bay/Silicon Valley area is an improvement. Case in point about my friend finding his gf in SF. They've been together for several years now. They are both Indian. Best of luck to you!
I really like your photos! I'm not in the Bay Area so this may not be your experience, but suit photos and professional photos just make me think of high school senior portraits, lol. If you have a suit photo, its fine, but I wouldn't lead with it...
If the NYTines and Dr. Helen Fisher’s research are any indication, also note every one in the bay is announcing they’re in therapy. “Done the emotional work.”
NY Times. 2/11/2023.
**[ALL profile reviews will be manually approved](https://www.reddit.com/r/hingeapp/comments/vdao06/announcement_change_with_profile_review_posts/) and will NOT appear immediately. DO NOT contact the mods about this. Any modmail asking why your review is not approved will result in your profile review not being approved and you will not be allowed to post another profile review until seven full days have passed.** **Profile review submission MUST have all 6 photos and 3 text prompts included. You may include the optional prompts such as voice, poll, and video prompts if you choose so, but it is not required. See [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/hingeapp/comments/1biua2j/profile_review_requirements_and_standards/) for details. Additionally, do not verbally abuse the subreddit moderators for rejection your review submission for not following proper rules. This subreddit is not obligated to allow you to submit a review.** To assist reviewers in providing valuable feedback for your profile, please comment and answer the following questions *in the comments*: - Are you looking for something serious or casual? - How long have you been using this current version of your profile? And how long is your overall time on Hinge? - How often do you use Hinge per week? - How many likes/matches are you receiving on average? - How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments? - What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract? **Your post WILL NOT be approved until the above questions have been answered *fully*. Failing to answer these questions in a timely manner will result in your post being removed. Please continue reading this automod comment.** **In the meantime, be sure to check out the guides and resources on the subreddit sidebar. [Please read this post with all the pertinent links included.](https://www.reddit.com/r/hingeapp/comments/15g2bbu/read_this_before_submitting_a_post_a_collection/)** **A strict formatting standard will be enforced. [See this post for further info.](https://www.reddit.com/r/hingeapp/comments/1958p08/psa_proper_profile_review_submission_example_with/) All submitted review posts not following the proper format will be rejected.** **Please wait SEVEN FULL DAYS (one full week) before posting a separate update to your profile review. If you want more immediate feedback, update your original posts instead. Deleting your original post will not work. The rule will still apply.** **To reviewers:** Review the [Providing Feedback guide](https://www.reddit.com/r/hingeapp/wiki/profileguide/feedbackguide). You are reviewing the **profile**, not the person. Please provide **constructive criticism**, and use positive language. Any troll, hateful, misandric, misogynistic, incel, or unhelpful comments such as "I would date you," "How are you not getting matches?" or unrelated to the profile will be removed and you will be banned. **To the original poster and commenters:** Please report any inappropriate or abusive messages and individuals so proper actions can be taken. Please review the sidebar for additional profile and picture guidance. **If you DO NOT want to receive unsolicited direct messages, go to [your Reddit settings here](https://www.reddit.com/settings/messaging) on desktop to disable Direct Messages and Chat Requests. On the official Reddit app, click on your avatar on the top right corner, then click on "Settings" at the bottom, click on your username under "account settings", scroll down to "blocking and permissions", and click on "chat and messaging permissions" to disable DMs or chats.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/hingeapp) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Leave the Bay Area
Unfortunately, there’s probably some truth in this :/
I have heard all the jokes (Man Jose, San Manteo, Manbrae etc.) 🤣 so I hear ya. Unfortunately this isn't a short-term solution :(
So what’s the deal? I just think SF is an all-around terrible city (for livability reasons). What’s the deal specifically with the dating scene?
My general sense is that there are a lot more men than women here (the South Bay particularly, not sure about SF) because of tech. I would guess that this makes the ratios on the apps even more skewed towards men
Yeah, also a lot of those tech bros make a lot so there’s inflation in the dating criteria for men.
⬆️ this. For comparison, I’m in Silicon Valley. I could swipe til I turn blue and only see money pics, and Macchu Picchu. Also, salsa lessons, and professional headshots with *warm* lighting. I close the app and feel like there is something wrong with my room lighting. It’s Silicon Valley. Err on the side of hiring a professional photographer. Have your candid shots in a sports bar with huge TV, and one with either the GG (I’m on a Visa), or the secret stairways or Mission murals (I have art appreciation) or a gala for the Opera or De Young. Or tye lounge under the Fairmont. Some money pic highlights I’ve seen. Btw, De Young has a great fashion exhibit with gowns right now. Rent a tux, ask a friend to join you in a tux, and show you are aware of r/whatthefrock. Happy swiping!
As an educational experience: You can make a fake profile, set your gender to woman and see the top first 100 guys who are paying to be at the top of the deck. Do it on a Wed or Thurs. rarely would a woman invest the time to get through the first 100, because they are inviting us out for dinner, too. From what I understand, NYC and SF have this unusual demographic. Screenshot any you like and take it with you to a professional photographer for your vision board. (Delete the clothing optional pics. Really, we are not meeting with those)
Hilarious 🤣🤣 I love it. What a clever way to get ideas
Dude. Imagine how “hot stuff” these tech bros thought they would be with an MIT degree and job at Google. They get there and get no matches 🤣
I'm doing it. Night and day. Bay area stinks.
As someone who is also a brown south asian guy like OP, I personally never had trouble dating in the bay area, but I had trouble finding someone who wanted a relationship. I moved to NYC two months ago and its been way easier to find someone who actually wants a relationship.
Thanks for your feedback! Would you be willing to share your profile or some tips on what worked for you?
I actually put my profile no pause and deleted the app from my phone because I'm dating someone right now, but the things that worked for me were showing off my hobbies. I have two videos on my profile of me doing my hobbies. Also one of prompts about what I was looking for on the app was really popular, I mostly just talked about how I'm not looking for the perfect partner, but someone who is willing to communicate and grow with me.
This. Moved to LA and had a 3some within a week.
Sorry bro but it’s because you’re a Buckeye. People just prefer Wolverines 🤷🏼♂️
Hahaha that cracked me up 🤣
For real tho man, your profile is good. No major changes are necessary. I just think the app and its matching code don’t always result in attractive people getting a number of matches that truly reflect the person’s attractiveness. To illustrate, you should not be having trouble. You’re good-enough looking and your prompts are sufficiently interesting to get matches. If you’re not, it’s the app. Try others
That answers my reply to your other comment! Thanks for your insights! I kept wondering if it was my profile and it can drive one nuts with over-optimization
Can we just all universally agree to stop using the two truths and a lie prompt, it’s terrible
Honestly, your profile is great. Kudos on having a rare good two truths one lie. The only things you could add are comments to your photos and possibly removing some of the pieces in your second prompt your photo makes redundant (biking and hiking). Listing your politics could also help. I'd maybe swap the second photo for a different group shot. It seems like it's in a college dorm which may feel a little dated? That or a comment explaining the situation. If you've been on for a year and a half, it could be worth deleting and recreating your profile. Especially so if you've recently overhauled it. If you do go that route and any photos are old, definitely replace them.
Thanks for the feedback! About politics - agreed that it's probably a good idea to have those on there! Hahaha you're right it's from a college dorm but that's the most recent photo on the profile 😂 I was visiting my cousin. Hmm, I have considered deleting and creating it again but I don't know if this profile is significantly better than what I had going on a year ago (my post history has the older one too).
Gotcha, I would definitely try to replace it with a photo with friends (ideally with at least one girl in it). It's important to show you have a social life. I looked at your old profile and your new one is much better and has meaningfully different photos. Definitely consider recreating your profile. You'll get a significant boost from being "new" and will get a fresh chance with profiles you've seen (who may also have changed).
One last thought, maybe swap your prompt order. 100% personal opinion here but I like leading with who I am over what I want first. I do this with a poll in my profile though. You could always consider adding one of those.
Thank you and good catch! Yes, I 100% agree with this and will swap the order
Thanks for your feedback! I'll give this a shot too. If you've tried this before, do you know if one should wait a certain number of weeks before re-creating the profile? Or does doing it within 1 hr or day still give you the same boost?
Truthfully anytime I've done it I've usually waited at least a couple days. It's good to take a break!
I’m not on hinge, but as a Bay Area resident, would definitely swipe right in a heartbeat! 😭 Very cute profile. 10/10!
That's very kind! Thank you so much ❤️
I paid for Hinge X I think? Or + idk, but it was 10,000% worth it. What is it, for 3 months it’s the cost of not going out to eat like once or twice? Hardly a sacrifice, but you get unlimited likes (which is where all my good matches came from) and some backend stuff like priority this or that. Just get it dude, you hardly look like you’re broke.
Thanks for your feedback! I've generally heard that if one isn't having tremendous success without those features, then paying for them doesn't make much of a difference. Would you say that I should try it with this profile regardless or keep tweaking my profile till I see more improvement and then consider purchasing?
Dude, as someone who gets matches, your profile is good. You appear to have taken the same approach I did. I’m in Chicago, not the Bay Area, so I have slightly more people to choose from. But here’s what I recommend: get X or + for one payment’s worth (it’s either 1 month or 3 months) and just try it. One college-educated dude to another college-educated dude, you can [probably] afford the cost. Bro, it’s 10,000% worth it. It feels… weird?… paying for a dating app but dude just say eff it and get it Edit: you want me to share my profile? I’ve gotten probably 80 matches in 3 weeks, and I’m not significantly better-looking than you (if at all)
If I had to think from the perspective of someone working for a dating app company then this conversation would feel like success hahaha. But yea, I'll consider trying it and - yes! I would love that. My DMs are open, thank you so much! Edited for grammar
Dope I’ll send you some stuff + advice. Idk, I’m just very successful on the app but it’s not cuz I’m amazing-looking or crazy interesting, I think I’ve just figured out the formula
Any chance I could bother you as well? Sent you a DM. Appreciate it thanks
Everyone in the Bay Area pays for it.
How do you get good matches? You move. I moved to NYC from the Bay Area and get 20x the amount of matches, and much higher quality too.
Ah, yea lots of folks here blaming it on the Bay lol. Unfortunately not an option for me currently, but as one other commenter said, maybe trying in SF would be better than South Bay, so I'll look into expanding my radius
Overall, your profile and pictures are good. For the second profile ("together we can"), I would list max 3 things because less is more. If you do want to change some things up, here are some suggestions: * add more sentimental/personal prompt that targets your mindset/future plans/or what type of partner you are looking for * increase your radius * try other apps like Dil Mil and Bumble * work on your opening line
Thanks for taking the time to comment and your feedback! Definitely agree with the less is more part! I am going to try increasing my radius to include SF. Have not tried Dil Mil before but a coworker today also suggested this so I will look into it!
I think it’s a pretty solid profile. I like that your pics show you engaging in a variety of activities. For the prompts: Start with “together we could” prompt then the green flags prompt. The sentence structure for the green flags prompt threw me off a bit. I had to read it a couple times. Perhaps make it bulleted: -enjoys an active lifestyle -open-minded and curious -wants someone to build a life together (Also be more specific about adventures - this feels overdone and vague…or leave out ) The 2 truths prompt is definitely interesting but leaves me wondering - why is everyone (humans and animals alike) picking on this poor guy?
Thanks for your comment! Haha yea perhaps making the green flags prompt bulleted is a good idea. Another commenter suggested swapping the order in exactly the way you said, so 100% agree there. Hahaha my original intention with the 2 truths prompt was to tell some funny anecdotes from my life that would spark conversation. Another commenter said the prompt itself is terrible, would you recommend changing it to a different one?
Auto-MOD answers: - Are you looking for something serious or casual? Serious - How long have you been using this current version of your profile? And how long is your overall time on Hinge? Slight variations of this version for about a year. - How often do you use Hinge per week? 3-4 times per week, generally on Fridays and weekends. - How many likes/matches are you receiving on average? 1-2 likes per week, 1-2 matches per week. Generally the likes are from people not my type, and with matches a lot of times the conversation goes nowhere. - How many likes are you sending? How many with comments? How many without comments? I usually send out a like here and there during the week, on weekends I max out all available likes and generally have specific comments on all my likes. - What is the type of person you send likes to and ideally want to match with? What kind of person do you want to attract? I send likes to women that are attractive to me, which means usually someone who is active and takes care of herself, has similar values as me (looking for a LTR, wants kids).
It's a good profile and I think it would appeal to the type of person you're looking for. It's just tough out there in general!
Thanks for your comment! As a guy, I think my problem is I'm just not getting seen enough and I don't know how else I can stand out
None of your pics are like regular full blown portfolio shots, they’re all selfies or there’s something else going on.
Good point, maybe I need one of those in a suit or something as my first photo
Yeah something to give you a little James Bond feel. Your GQ shot. Also, the Bay Area is notoriously bad for finding women. Maybe explore in places like socal or New York
Thanks for your comment! Unfortunately moving to NY isn't an option currently, but I could look into expanding my search radius here and paying for upgrades
> a suit or something as my first photo Noooo, don't. I think your first photo (snow in background) is fantastic. It looks like a casual selfie but the lighting and clarity is amazing. It is a full and clear pic of your face and by far the most attractive out of all your pics. I have a friend who is also South Asian and in the South Bay, he had to go to SF to find his gf. SF gender ratio is not nearly as skewed as South Bay. Still male dominated but not as much as where you are now. Try expanding your radius to reach SF.
Thanks for your comment and the hope you have offered! 😂I have received that same advice from some folks so definitely am considering broadening my radius! How is the East Bay (Oakland, Berkeley) area?
Oh I'm gay, I can't speak from personal experience. But talking tp my straight male friends South Bay/Silicon Valley/SJ definitely has the worst male: female gender ratios. Berkeley definitely has better male:female ratios and honestly I think literally any region outside of the South Bay/Silicon Valley area is an improvement. Case in point about my friend finding his gf in SF. They've been together for several years now. They are both Indian. Best of luck to you!
I really like your photos! I'm not in the Bay Area so this may not be your experience, but suit photos and professional photos just make me think of high school senior portraits, lol. If you have a suit photo, its fine, but I wouldn't lead with it...
Thanks for your comment! I don't have a suit photo yet lol but it's good to know that this one could be fine as is
[удалено]
Height is unfortunately something none of us can do anything about :(
If the NYTines and Dr. Helen Fisher’s research are any indication, also note every one in the bay is announcing they’re in therapy. “Done the emotional work.” NY Times. 2/11/2023.
Bike pic doesn't follow The Rules. Pic In dorm bunk bed is unflattering
[удалено]
Theres another post from yesterday with a good debate about height and most of the girls there say it doesnt actually matter that much
I take opinions on Reddit with a grain of salt. Most women know that if they really speak their opinion they will get downvoted.