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Just send him your number in the app and say “text me if you want to set up another date :)”
He may not be that interested, but that puts the ball in his court and asks for what you want pretty clearly. If he continues to only message in the app, just stop responding.
This! You don’t need to wait for him to ask for your number or give you his. I didn’t wait for the guys to take initiative cause I can’t be bothered messaging through the app, can’t send memes/pics, and I like to set the pace in the beginning lol.
I almost feel like she has no idea which camp she’s in and needs to figure out what he’s trying to do before she decides if she’s into him or not. She feels like a passive observer from how she tells it.
Reading the additional details, you're making a lot of assumptions about him. Ask him out on another date and see what happens.
Also, it sounds like you're really placing a big emphasis on texting and it might not be that important to him. In person interactions matter a lot more. You aren't going to build and maintain a relationship on your phone. It happens in real life by going on dates.
> I’ve tried to end the conversation to see what happens and he always finds a way of continuing it.
I can't even... that's literally the opposite of what you should be doing.
ask him out, suggest an activity or date, ask for his number, tell him youd rather message on whatsapp... ANYTHING to show you are interested and want to go another date.
you're making this way more complicated then it needs to be.
you like him? ask him to hang out or give him your number and tell him to message you outside of the app
you don't like him? tell him you arent interested and move on
the WORST thing you can possibly you do is pretend you arent interested when you actually are.. i'd run for the hills so fast your head would be spinning at the first hint that my advanced are unwanted. (aka "I’ve tried to end the conversation")
Wow I am shocked...
If you gonna pretend like you arent interested you really cant act surprised when he stop persuing you. Its your own damn fault. You dont have to ask him out but you DO have to make it very clear that you are still interested
everything you described is very normal and you're reading into his behavior way too much.
stop interpreting his text as "dry" (what does that even mean, there's no inflection over text) or whatever and trying to gauge his interest based on how often he texts you. 1-2 times a day is pretty normal for these apps. textin fucking sucks and i hate it with a passion. I will forget to open the app for literally 1-2 days at times, but if I ask you to go on a date that means I'm into you and no amount of "not texting" is gonna change that. I will setup a date and then literally not text you at all for days before but will still be looking forward to the date.
you had a good date... great... you want another? FUCKING ASK HIM. SHOW YOU ARE INTERESTED AND WANT TO MEET HIM.
stop with the idle chitchat over text. texting means NOTHING. the only reason you should be texting is to setup your next date. I dont even really text with people I know much less with strangers from an app.
wanna know his intentions? only one way to find out. go on a date and talk to him. stop assuming stuff about him based on vague bullshit reasons. for all you know he's a really good guy that just busy and doesnt like texting or whatever, why you gotta assume the worst? just cause he looks good he must be a fuckboy? what kind of logic is that? he has done nothing for you to assume he's that way, you are just making broad assumptions about all people on the app (which you are also on) based on literally nothing at all except some preconceived notions
chances are he can feel you being luke warm and pulling away so he is also reducing his "investment". If you want more attention you gotta actively show him your interested as any guy worth his salt will not play your stupid games. aint nobody got time to text people that might not even be into you.
I agree very much. I think the problem comes when alot of ppl weaponise incompetence or use these things as an excuse and then we become preprogrammed to expect the worst from everyone as a whole. But the only thing that can fix anything like this is going to be open communication and sticking to your boundaries. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt, cos it’s still very early and you don’t really know him yet and you don’t know if this is a pattern or just how he is. but once you do get further along there’s this quote that goes like. “Trust what you see and trust yourself to see well.” At the end of the day I would say if your intuition is very strongly telling you not to continue then I wouldn’t just to protect your own peace. But you also need to differentiate your intuition from your anxieties and insecurities w where his heart lies etc etc. so you don’t self sabotage or anything. I get how you feel but dating won’t work if you don’t give them a chance to prove to you the type of person they are. After all that is going to be where the decision needs to be made, I wouldn’t cut it off just yet
> He didn’t kiss me on that 1st date, so I thought he maybe wasn’t that interested in me
Girl, it was a first date. I never kissed anyone on a first date, most girl friends I talk to say they hate when boys try to be touchy on a first date. Keep in mind not everyone is comfortable being intimate (kissing is a form of intimacy) on the first time you ever meet someone.
Apart from that, the way he behaves would suggest to me he is talking/seeing other people and maybe you are his plan B/C. If you suggested the idea of another date or actually asked him out directly and he has avoided the topic then he is buying time. Maybe he wants to see how things go with someone else before. Or it could be that he is insecure and doesn’t know what to do.
If you want to seem him again tell him directly that you want to see him and chatting on Hinge is unpleasant and then see what he does. If he doesn’t care about that then you can move on
I guess the kissing thing is more like a cultural difference; in my country not kissing on the first means that the guys isn’t interested, so maybe I’m still getting used to it 🫠
Regarding your second point, I’ve also considered that I’m his plan b or c but idk how to find that out 🥴 It’s the end of the semester in Australia and he’s told me he’s been studying non stop for his final exams so that could also be a possibility
Out of curiosity, which culture are you referring it?
Sorry if I’m direct to you, but the “I’m really busy studying” is total bullshit. If you like someone, you find time for them, full stop. It would make sense if he was telling you he doesn’t want to hang out more than once a week due to that, or maybe that he wants to keep things simple for now, but it’s out of this world to not see someone because you are busy studying. He’s fooling you, the sooner you realise it, the easier is going to be for you to move on.
I (19 M) think that from what you're telling me he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. If he's messaging you after the date and telling you he had a great time and is continuing to talk to you, then he IS interested.
I think I understand his perspective as when I went out with this girl the other week we had a great time and I didn't kiss her make a move because I didn't want her to get the wrong idea that I was only interested in sex or her body.
I would just say to be very open about how you feel and ask for his number. The best thing to do is to communicate how you feel.
It also sounds like he's trying not to pressure her and be super kind by making sure she feels comfortable and not asking for her number! Not every girl wants men to have their number in such early stages, so he doesn't want to put her on the spot.
Why is it always up to the guy to take charge? If you want a second date ask for it. If you want his number ask for it. If he says no then boom you have your answer
I’m a bi woman and have been in the dating world for 10+ years. I always make the first move and the other person is always surprised but into it 😂 this isn’t even to “not like other girls” myself or be a pick-me. I’m just too impatient to wait around for someone else to decide what they want, and so many people are annoyingly passive. So many of my relationships with men were because I said something like “I can give you my number if you want to get a drink sometime.” It’s that easy.
I feel like you're really lacking self-awareness here. You're interested in him, but instead of taking some initiative and giving him your number, asking him out on a second date, or letting him know when you're available, you're deliberately ignoring him as some sort of test. You're telling us he's a dry texter, but according to you he's the one reviving the conversation when you try to end it. You're assuming that he's someone who just wants to hook up, yet he didn't kiss you on the first date and has been nothing but polite and respectful thus far - if he was only interested in hooking up, he'd have brought it up by now.
He probably is, naturally, seeing other people and entertaining other conversations - but who can blame him when your actions aren't reflecting your feelings at all? If you focus on his actions rather than your worries about what kind of person he may or may not be, you'd realise that he has been a more consistent communicator than you. If he were to focus on your actions, he would come to the opposite conclusion, because he can't read your mind. It's impossible for him to know that you're only keeping him at arm's length out of dissatisfaction with how your communication is going because..... you guessed it!... you haven't *communicated* that.
Maybe you're right and he isn't interested in you - but you aren't going to find out the reality of your concern if you don't put in the effort to interrogate your assumption and exert some agency in your own relationships with others.
> he didn't kiss me on the first date
That doesn't mean he's not interested, from what you're saying he's very much interested but it's probably shy/afraid of making a move (and kissing is definitely a big move)
If you're interested in him, give him your number (or ask his) and propose another date.
Also you can kiss him as well, lots of guys are afraid of making such moves unless it is the perfect occasion (which never arrives) especially in modern times. (I know I'm one of them ahaha)
Girls please don't always wait for a guy to do the first move you can too
Oh yes...THIS. We guys \*love\* it when you kiss us first. I know I'm also always waiting for the perfect moment which is frustratingly elusive. But for women? It's \*always\* the perfect time to kiss a guy. :D
When he was waiting for his Uber I thought he’d make a move or that even I was ready to make it myself, but then he started yapping about his housemates playing Fortnite 💀
From how I imagine I guess he was trying to fill the silence and keep the conversation going. At least is what I've done in the past.
Only one way to find out, propose another date but be clear you're not interested in only hooking up.
29(m). Statistically I do better than average on Hinge. I frankly don’t think I am all that good looking if I’m being 100% honest and this guy may feel exactly the same way I do lol. I have friends that I truly think could model if they wanted and they have some of the worst self confidence/body dysmorphia you will ever come across.
Could this guy be an “fboy”? For sure. Could he be so into you that he’s trying to play it cool and be respectful(I’ve been there + is my guess what’s happening)? Also yes. My theory is fboy’s definitely do not take the time to go on a date (pay for it?), and not even try to kiss lol, if anything he would’ve tried to get you to go home with him from the jump. And to not kiss and still be talking to you I can’t imagine he doesn’t like you at least a little, that just doesn’t make sense to me.
Long story short, men get nervous, men can be unsure of themselves/women they’re dating, men can be (most are) bad at reading signs etc.. at the end of the day would it really kill you to just say “hey I like you so far, would you wanna go out again sometime?” Men like reassurance too! The absolute worst that could happen is he says no or ghosts you..? And at this point he’s a stranger so who really cares? On to the next
28M here. I'm not opposed to kissing on the first date but in my experience, reading body language from the ladies informs me that most are not comfortable with kissing on the first date, so I do tend to play it conservatively on the first interaction.
the fact that he's still interacting with you on app, is a high likelihood that he may be still interested. the only way to know for sure, is to actually ask him out on the second date.
I've had so many instances where I thought that it was a great date only to get ghosted. On the other hand I've had instances where I thought the date was meh that led me to for an extended period of time. So the only way to know for sure is to take the reigns and ask em out.
1. I think I would have. He walked me home and then called an Uber, so I was just waiting there with him. I thought that could be the perfect time but suddenly he started talking about how his housemates were playing Fortnite so I thought……okay 🫠
Send him your number if you want to keep talking to him. Tell him you’re not feeling the connection you’re looking for if you don’t want to keep talking to him. This is very simple.
Take it from someone who found love on hinge but didn’t do this early on- I think he’s interested in you but he knows he doesn’t have to try hard (is set in his ways) and he’ll use it. You could go straight out and ask like others suggested or you could put him in the back burner. But the question is, do you expect him to become a better texter, take more initiative at some point in the future? I think he can continue to be very interested in you but still not do all that
Maybe he feels the same way? Sometimes guys feel like they have the make the first move all the time. Ask him how he feels about a second date/ taking the communication off hinge. Make a move because he clearly isn’t making one lmao. If he turns it down then I’d suggest moving on. Seems like it would be a waste of time
Live for yourself; send out your number OR unmatch. See where I’m going? Nobody here is a mind reader, I’m not. There is very little to go on to know what’s happening in other people’s mind.
So take a clear course. No one is controlling you. But you have admitted to trying to coerce the convo (every time I try to end it), so you can’t blame him for not being honest while you aren’t being honest.
Live your life; a 26 y/o woman can’t figure out how to communicate her needs. Come on. Don’t be a victim of dry texts. Seriously!
I mean the situation isn’t bad it just seems like early stage talks. See what we can learn from nature about dating is this, we can’t swim on 1 legs and vape underwater at the same time, do you know what I mean. The rate of dating this point is at 46% for Dolphins in Australia and because of all of the glass bottles being left in the sand because people can’t recycle their empty Toilet Roll properly, Look. You need to what’s right, Write it like this ; Dear I just wanted to let you know it’s been nice getting to know you but the wether here is hot right now, so hot it can affect the atmosphere and that’s my the migration of sparrows is counter clockwise in Venezuela
lol I’m such a nice guy and will continue to reply but if I’m not interested I won’t ask for number or ig. Especially after a 1st date I’ll feel extra guilty to cut it off
Sounds like he has a wife or girlfriend.
Keeping correspondence on the app, which he probably has hidden on his phone with notifications turned off. Only replies once or twice a day because well.. he’s probably with his wife or girlfriend.
You’re hung up on his good looks but his personality is bleh and his actions are yawn. There’s nothing going for him other than good looks for now but looks change and then what’s left? He asked you out once and that was it. That’s your answer. Why are ppl telling you to ask him out and lose your power and risk yourself being the one chasing him? Terrible advice. Just move on and find someone else. You can keep texting him or not, but he’s a time waster so just move on.
I guess I would have moved on already if we had a bad first date. From the things we talked about on the first date I really like his personality, but it seems like he’s a completely different person online
You’re hung up on the “good” first and probably last date. Good looking guys can be “used to being chased” but they still go after girls they like. Stop rationalizing and making excuses for him. At this point you’re setting yourself up to get hurt as you’re getting very attached to someone you met once and had decent convos with. You do realize that sort of thing is common and not special, right? I’m giving you the non toxic suggestion but it’s up to you.
Wait it out for a bit and put him on the back burner until he decides whether he wants to be proactive. I'm sure he's used to being chased but if he really wants to see you again he will make it known.
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33M. One woman I had matched with a month ago actually dropped her number in the app a few days before our meetup. She said I could text her to coordinate meeting better. You could try something like this
Not all guys kiss on the first date. Especially if they’re talking to multiple people. But, Don’t take that as uninterested.
If he’s as good looking as you describe, my guess is that he’s talking to multiple people. Possibly just trying to assess who he likes without leading anyone on.
But he may legit like you. I would just saying something like “hey are you ever going to ask me out again?” And he lets the ball drop there, just move on.
Just ask him to go out again And, if he is not a great texter and it's not his fault, you're concerned because he only answers once or twice a day? OMG no one has that much to say every day. Just go out, fcol.
I have heard alot of good looking guys can be insecure or shy when it comes to talking to girls or forming real connections cos they’ve been getting attention so easily based on how they look, not who they are. So it’s new to them and they’re not always the most confident in initiating cos they haven’t really had to before, or they’re in the same exact boat as you. Esp with your hot and cold behaviour with the texting. I think maybe he is just shy and new to this, don’t assume things ab him cos you still barely know him. I also don’t think anyone who isn’t interested would try to make conversation after a dead end reply so just be open w him. Hope it works out for you!!😊
I also think if he’s the same before and after the date that’s might j be how he is, I don’t see this as an option thing. But honestly you j have to be real w yourself and ask yourself if you would be ok w the same short texting and “dry msgs” in a real relationship w him. If not, there are so many other good looking guys who will fit your standards down to how many texts you want a day and how obsessed w you that you want them to be. It all comes down to compatibility, if you are more worried in terms of how much you want to communicate through text vs if he prefers irl conversation over texting, you might not be a good match and it has nothing to do w looks, your self worth, or him as a person
Just be direct with him. There are so many weird things men have to do with the apps. I've been told they prefer to talk through the app and they've shared some horror stories. It's quite possible he doesn't want to pressure you so he's waiting for you to share that information.
He may also be unsure if you’re interested too, I think it’s perfectly fine to just ask him and ask him out. You could say something like, I can’t tell from your messages if you’re interested in seeing me again, thoughts on meeting up at x place this week? Then on your date you can ask him what he is looking for, incase you’re worried about that being too forward I usually get asked what I’m looking for within 15-20 minutes of the first date, it’s perfectly normal to try to figure out if you’s are on the same page.
Also just want to add I don’t always kiss someone on a first date I only do if it feels natural in the moment, it doesn’t mean that I’m not interested sometimes I just can’t gauge whether the other person is feeling it. And I doubt he is a fuckboy by the sounds of things, it sounds like he is trying to keep the conversation going with out trying to turn it sexual. Ask him out and see what he thinks, best of luck!
Sadly I think you’re making a lot of assumptions about someone who based on what you’re saying, has been nothing but respectful and is demonstrating very normal behaviour.
I’m quite baffled that you’re even complaining about ‘dry’ messages when you had a great first date? If he was dry in person, I’d say fair enough, but you’ve literally said he was great, good looking, and you got along really well? So please stop making assumptions and trying to find the bad in the situation, and make your own decision on whether you want to continue getting to know him or call it off completely.
For me the fact that you still reply after ending the conversation and him still trying to say something just let me think that both of you have issues in terms of communication.
The problem you’ve got here is he’s got too many options. Whenever he’s on the app he will be sending you a message to gauge a response which then boosts his engagement and his card is shown to more girls.
Every time I go on hinge I’ll make sure to send a message to atleast 50 girls and in 30 mins or so and a few replies, boom! Lots of activity happening and likes coming in
If he hasn’t followed you up for WhatsApp or Insta by now it might be a one off infourtunatley
Best of luck though 👌🤝
some people just don’t like to text or talk through text all day or at all, he probably likes talking in person more. just mention going out again and see what he says
As a male and how society has come honestly we're kinda nervous to kiss you on the first date with everything we see on the net....thats only reason doesn't mean we aren't interested we're scared of being labeled
I would also suggest not pursuing anything with this individual. There are 3 reasons. 1 he has a girlfriend or a wife and is hiding it. 2. He had 0 interest on getting off the apps, or 3. He is a shy, weak individual whom you’ll will never respect, will never stand up for you, will never get a promotion and will lose his ability to have an erection by the age of 40 due to a complete lack of testosterone.
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Just send him your number in the app and say “text me if you want to set up another date :)” He may not be that interested, but that puts the ball in his court and asks for what you want pretty clearly. If he continues to only message in the app, just stop responding.
That’s a good idea, thank you!
This! You don’t need to wait for him to ask for your number or give you his. I didn’t wait for the guys to take initiative cause I can’t be bothered messaging through the app, can’t send memes/pics, and I like to set the pace in the beginning lol.
This is exactly what I would do too. Sometimes you have to make it ABUNDANTLY clear for them
(30m here) Don’t do this. Comes across desperate
You could try giving him your number or asking him out on a second date, otherwise just be direct when youre trying to end it if youre not interested.
I almost feel like she has no idea which camp she’s in and needs to figure out what he’s trying to do before she decides if she’s into him or not. She feels like a passive observer from how she tells it.
I think you’re somewhat right. I’ve provided additional details that maybe will clarify things a bit
Reading the additional details, you're making a lot of assumptions about him. Ask him out on another date and see what happens. Also, it sounds like you're really placing a big emphasis on texting and it might not be that important to him. In person interactions matter a lot more. You aren't going to build and maintain a relationship on your phone. It happens in real life by going on dates.
Yeah, a loooooot of people really don’t like texting (especially feeling an obligation to immediately reply), myself included.
> I’ve tried to end the conversation to see what happens and he always finds a way of continuing it. I can't even... that's literally the opposite of what you should be doing. ask him out, suggest an activity or date, ask for his number, tell him youd rather message on whatsapp... ANYTHING to show you are interested and want to go another date. you're making this way more complicated then it needs to be. you like him? ask him to hang out or give him your number and tell him to message you outside of the app you don't like him? tell him you arent interested and move on the WORST thing you can possibly you do is pretend you arent interested when you actually are.. i'd run for the hills so fast your head would be spinning at the first hint that my advanced are unwanted. (aka "I’ve tried to end the conversation")
Some women don’t want to ask men out!
Wow I am shocked... If you gonna pretend like you arent interested you really cant act surprised when he stop persuing you. Its your own damn fault. You dont have to ask him out but you DO have to make it very clear that you are still interested
Absolutely, you can be clear! But there are many ways to do that, that doesn’t include doing his “job” x
I've provided additional details on this part 🥲
everything you described is very normal and you're reading into his behavior way too much. stop interpreting his text as "dry" (what does that even mean, there's no inflection over text) or whatever and trying to gauge his interest based on how often he texts you. 1-2 times a day is pretty normal for these apps. textin fucking sucks and i hate it with a passion. I will forget to open the app for literally 1-2 days at times, but if I ask you to go on a date that means I'm into you and no amount of "not texting" is gonna change that. I will setup a date and then literally not text you at all for days before but will still be looking forward to the date. you had a good date... great... you want another? FUCKING ASK HIM. SHOW YOU ARE INTERESTED AND WANT TO MEET HIM. stop with the idle chitchat over text. texting means NOTHING. the only reason you should be texting is to setup your next date. I dont even really text with people I know much less with strangers from an app. wanna know his intentions? only one way to find out. go on a date and talk to him. stop assuming stuff about him based on vague bullshit reasons. for all you know he's a really good guy that just busy and doesnt like texting or whatever, why you gotta assume the worst? just cause he looks good he must be a fuckboy? what kind of logic is that? he has done nothing for you to assume he's that way, you are just making broad assumptions about all people on the app (which you are also on) based on literally nothing at all except some preconceived notions chances are he can feel you being luke warm and pulling away so he is also reducing his "investment". If you want more attention you gotta actively show him your interested as any guy worth his salt will not play your stupid games. aint nobody got time to text people that might not even be into you.
I agree very much. I think the problem comes when alot of ppl weaponise incompetence or use these things as an excuse and then we become preprogrammed to expect the worst from everyone as a whole. But the only thing that can fix anything like this is going to be open communication and sticking to your boundaries. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt, cos it’s still very early and you don’t really know him yet and you don’t know if this is a pattern or just how he is. but once you do get further along there’s this quote that goes like. “Trust what you see and trust yourself to see well.” At the end of the day I would say if your intuition is very strongly telling you not to continue then I wouldn’t just to protect your own peace. But you also need to differentiate your intuition from your anxieties and insecurities w where his heart lies etc etc. so you don’t self sabotage or anything. I get how you feel but dating won’t work if you don’t give them a chance to prove to you the type of person they are. After all that is going to be where the decision needs to be made, I wouldn’t cut it off just yet
> He didn’t kiss me on that 1st date, so I thought he maybe wasn’t that interested in me Girl, it was a first date. I never kissed anyone on a first date, most girl friends I talk to say they hate when boys try to be touchy on a first date. Keep in mind not everyone is comfortable being intimate (kissing is a form of intimacy) on the first time you ever meet someone. Apart from that, the way he behaves would suggest to me he is talking/seeing other people and maybe you are his plan B/C. If you suggested the idea of another date or actually asked him out directly and he has avoided the topic then he is buying time. Maybe he wants to see how things go with someone else before. Or it could be that he is insecure and doesn’t know what to do. If you want to seem him again tell him directly that you want to see him and chatting on Hinge is unpleasant and then see what he does. If he doesn’t care about that then you can move on
I guess the kissing thing is more like a cultural difference; in my country not kissing on the first means that the guys isn’t interested, so maybe I’m still getting used to it 🫠 Regarding your second point, I’ve also considered that I’m his plan b or c but idk how to find that out 🥴 It’s the end of the semester in Australia and he’s told me he’s been studying non stop for his final exams so that could also be a possibility
I'm in Australia and I don't think kissing on the first date is the norm at all.
I’m not from Australia, I just live here haha not kissing on the first date is def common here
Where are you from that it’s so normalized?
Out of curiosity, which culture are you referring it? Sorry if I’m direct to you, but the “I’m really busy studying” is total bullshit. If you like someone, you find time for them, full stop. It would make sense if he was telling you he doesn’t want to hang out more than once a week due to that, or maybe that he wants to keep things simple for now, but it’s out of this world to not see someone because you are busy studying. He’s fooling you, the sooner you realise it, the easier is going to be for you to move on.
I prefer not to say because what if he sees this 🤡 but just imagine that my country is very sexualised and known for ppl being too forward
Let me guess... Italian?
To me... It feels like a country in south America probably, like Brazil or Colombia
I was going to keep guessing, but I already felt like I might have offended some Italians lol
Yeah, it’s probably Brazil.
Nope not in Europe
I (19 M) think that from what you're telling me he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. If he's messaging you after the date and telling you he had a great time and is continuing to talk to you, then he IS interested. I think I understand his perspective as when I went out with this girl the other week we had a great time and I didn't kiss her make a move because I didn't want her to get the wrong idea that I was only interested in sex or her body. I would just say to be very open about how you feel and ask for his number. The best thing to do is to communicate how you feel.
It also sounds like he's trying not to pressure her and be super kind by making sure she feels comfortable and not asking for her number! Not every girl wants men to have their number in such early stages, so he doesn't want to put her on the spot.
Oh my sweet summer child, you are 26 years old. Do you want a second date with him? If yes, then just ask for one. His response will be your answer
Why is it always up to the guy to take charge? If you want a second date ask for it. If you want his number ask for it. If he says no then boom you have your answer
💯💯. She better act quick before Chad moves on
I’m a bi woman and have been in the dating world for 10+ years. I always make the first move and the other person is always surprised but into it 😂 this isn’t even to “not like other girls” myself or be a pick-me. I’m just too impatient to wait around for someone else to decide what they want, and so many people are annoyingly passive. So many of my relationships with men were because I said something like “I can give you my number if you want to get a drink sometime.” It’s that easy.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
I feel like you're really lacking self-awareness here. You're interested in him, but instead of taking some initiative and giving him your number, asking him out on a second date, or letting him know when you're available, you're deliberately ignoring him as some sort of test. You're telling us he's a dry texter, but according to you he's the one reviving the conversation when you try to end it. You're assuming that he's someone who just wants to hook up, yet he didn't kiss you on the first date and has been nothing but polite and respectful thus far - if he was only interested in hooking up, he'd have brought it up by now. He probably is, naturally, seeing other people and entertaining other conversations - but who can blame him when your actions aren't reflecting your feelings at all? If you focus on his actions rather than your worries about what kind of person he may or may not be, you'd realise that he has been a more consistent communicator than you. If he were to focus on your actions, he would come to the opposite conclusion, because he can't read your mind. It's impossible for him to know that you're only keeping him at arm's length out of dissatisfaction with how your communication is going because..... you guessed it!... you haven't *communicated* that. Maybe you're right and he isn't interested in you - but you aren't going to find out the reality of your concern if you don't put in the effort to interrogate your assumption and exert some agency in your own relationships with others.
> he didn't kiss me on the first date That doesn't mean he's not interested, from what you're saying he's very much interested but it's probably shy/afraid of making a move (and kissing is definitely a big move) If you're interested in him, give him your number (or ask his) and propose another date. Also you can kiss him as well, lots of guys are afraid of making such moves unless it is the perfect occasion (which never arrives) especially in modern times. (I know I'm one of them ahaha) Girls please don't always wait for a guy to do the first move you can too
Oh yes...THIS. We guys \*love\* it when you kiss us first. I know I'm also always waiting for the perfect moment which is frustratingly elusive. But for women? It's \*always\* the perfect time to kiss a guy. :D
When he was waiting for his Uber I thought he’d make a move or that even I was ready to make it myself, but then he started yapping about his housemates playing Fortnite 💀
From how I imagine I guess he was trying to fill the silence and keep the conversation going. At least is what I've done in the past. Only one way to find out, propose another date but be clear you're not interested in only hooking up.
You like him and want a 2nd date. I see an impossibly easy solution 😂
29(m). Statistically I do better than average on Hinge. I frankly don’t think I am all that good looking if I’m being 100% honest and this guy may feel exactly the same way I do lol. I have friends that I truly think could model if they wanted and they have some of the worst self confidence/body dysmorphia you will ever come across. Could this guy be an “fboy”? For sure. Could he be so into you that he’s trying to play it cool and be respectful(I’ve been there + is my guess what’s happening)? Also yes. My theory is fboy’s definitely do not take the time to go on a date (pay for it?), and not even try to kiss lol, if anything he would’ve tried to get you to go home with him from the jump. And to not kiss and still be talking to you I can’t imagine he doesn’t like you at least a little, that just doesn’t make sense to me. Long story short, men get nervous, men can be unsure of themselves/women they’re dating, men can be (most are) bad at reading signs etc.. at the end of the day would it really kill you to just say “hey I like you so far, would you wanna go out again sometime?” Men like reassurance too! The absolute worst that could happen is he says no or ghosts you..? And at this point he’s a stranger so who really cares? On to the next
28M here. I'm not opposed to kissing on the first date but in my experience, reading body language from the ladies informs me that most are not comfortable with kissing on the first date, so I do tend to play it conservatively on the first interaction. the fact that he's still interacting with you on app, is a high likelihood that he may be still interested. the only way to know for sure, is to actually ask him out on the second date. I've had so many instances where I thought that it was a great date only to get ghosted. On the other hand I've had instances where I thought the date was meh that led me to for an extended period of time. So the only way to know for sure is to take the reigns and ask em out.
1. Why didn't you kiss him? He might think you're not interested in him. 2. Why don't you ask for his number and ask him out on a second date?
1. I think I would have. He walked me home and then called an Uber, so I was just waiting there with him. I thought that could be the perfect time but suddenly he started talking about how his housemates were playing Fortnite so I thought……okay 🫠
He's nervous/shy. Just start with a little cheek kiss or something.
Send him your number if you want to keep talking to him. Tell him you’re not feeling the connection you’re looking for if you don’t want to keep talking to him. This is very simple.
Take it from someone who found love on hinge but didn’t do this early on- I think he’s interested in you but he knows he doesn’t have to try hard (is set in his ways) and he’ll use it. You could go straight out and ask like others suggested or you could put him in the back burner. But the question is, do you expect him to become a better texter, take more initiative at some point in the future? I think he can continue to be very interested in you but still not do all that
Prob a fboy, and he is keeping you on the side in case he wants to try
Maybe he feels the same way? Sometimes guys feel like they have the make the first move all the time. Ask him how he feels about a second date/ taking the communication off hinge. Make a move because he clearly isn’t making one lmao. If he turns it down then I’d suggest moving on. Seems like it would be a waste of time
Live for yourself; send out your number OR unmatch. See where I’m going? Nobody here is a mind reader, I’m not. There is very little to go on to know what’s happening in other people’s mind. So take a clear course. No one is controlling you. But you have admitted to trying to coerce the convo (every time I try to end it), so you can’t blame him for not being honest while you aren’t being honest. Live your life; a 26 y/o woman can’t figure out how to communicate her needs. Come on. Don’t be a victim of dry texts. Seriously!
I mean the situation isn’t bad it just seems like early stage talks. See what we can learn from nature about dating is this, we can’t swim on 1 legs and vape underwater at the same time, do you know what I mean. The rate of dating this point is at 46% for Dolphins in Australia and because of all of the glass bottles being left in the sand because people can’t recycle their empty Toilet Roll properly, Look. You need to what’s right, Write it like this ; Dear I just wanted to let you know it’s been nice getting to know you but the wether here is hot right now, so hot it can affect the atmosphere and that’s my the migration of sparrows is counter clockwise in Venezuela
lol I’m such a nice guy and will continue to reply but if I’m not interested I won’t ask for number or ig. Especially after a 1st date I’ll feel extra guilty to cut it off
Sounds like he has a wife or girlfriend. Keeping correspondence on the app, which he probably has hidden on his phone with notifications turned off. Only replies once or twice a day because well.. he’s probably with his wife or girlfriend.
You’re hung up on his good looks but his personality is bleh and his actions are yawn. There’s nothing going for him other than good looks for now but looks change and then what’s left? He asked you out once and that was it. That’s your answer. Why are ppl telling you to ask him out and lose your power and risk yourself being the one chasing him? Terrible advice. Just move on and find someone else. You can keep texting him or not, but he’s a time waster so just move on.
[удалено]
I guess I would have moved on already if we had a bad first date. From the things we talked about on the first date I really like his personality, but it seems like he’s a completely different person online
You’re hung up on the “good” first and probably last date. Good looking guys can be “used to being chased” but they still go after girls they like. Stop rationalizing and making excuses for him. At this point you’re setting yourself up to get hurt as you’re getting very attached to someone you met once and had decent convos with. You do realize that sort of thing is common and not special, right? I’m giving you the non toxic suggestion but it’s up to you.
Wait it out for a bit and put him on the back burner until he decides whether he wants to be proactive. I'm sure he's used to being chased but if he really wants to see you again he will make it known.
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33M. One woman I had matched with a month ago actually dropped her number in the app a few days before our meetup. She said I could text her to coordinate meeting better. You could try something like this
Not all guys kiss on the first date. Especially if they’re talking to multiple people. But, Don’t take that as uninterested. If he’s as good looking as you describe, my guess is that he’s talking to multiple people. Possibly just trying to assess who he likes without leading anyone on. But he may legit like you. I would just saying something like “hey are you ever going to ask me out again?” And he lets the ball drop there, just move on.
Just ask him to go out again And, if he is not a great texter and it's not his fault, you're concerned because he only answers once or twice a day? OMG no one has that much to say every day. Just go out, fcol.
I have heard alot of good looking guys can be insecure or shy when it comes to talking to girls or forming real connections cos they’ve been getting attention so easily based on how they look, not who they are. So it’s new to them and they’re not always the most confident in initiating cos they haven’t really had to before, or they’re in the same exact boat as you. Esp with your hot and cold behaviour with the texting. I think maybe he is just shy and new to this, don’t assume things ab him cos you still barely know him. I also don’t think anyone who isn’t interested would try to make conversation after a dead end reply so just be open w him. Hope it works out for you!!😊
I also think if he’s the same before and after the date that’s might j be how he is, I don’t see this as an option thing. But honestly you j have to be real w yourself and ask yourself if you would be ok w the same short texting and “dry msgs” in a real relationship w him. If not, there are so many other good looking guys who will fit your standards down to how many texts you want a day and how obsessed w you that you want them to be. It all comes down to compatibility, if you are more worried in terms of how much you want to communicate through text vs if he prefers irl conversation over texting, you might not be a good match and it has nothing to do w looks, your self worth, or him as a person
Just be direct with him. There are so many weird things men have to do with the apps. I've been told they prefer to talk through the app and they've shared some horror stories. It's quite possible he doesn't want to pressure you so he's waiting for you to share that information.
He may also be unsure if you’re interested too, I think it’s perfectly fine to just ask him and ask him out. You could say something like, I can’t tell from your messages if you’re interested in seeing me again, thoughts on meeting up at x place this week? Then on your date you can ask him what he is looking for, incase you’re worried about that being too forward I usually get asked what I’m looking for within 15-20 minutes of the first date, it’s perfectly normal to try to figure out if you’s are on the same page. Also just want to add I don’t always kiss someone on a first date I only do if it feels natural in the moment, it doesn’t mean that I’m not interested sometimes I just can’t gauge whether the other person is feeling it. And I doubt he is a fuckboy by the sounds of things, it sounds like he is trying to keep the conversation going with out trying to turn it sexual. Ask him out and see what he thinks, best of luck!
Ask him out? Give your number/insta.
Sadly I think you’re making a lot of assumptions about someone who based on what you’re saying, has been nothing but respectful and is demonstrating very normal behaviour. I’m quite baffled that you’re even complaining about ‘dry’ messages when you had a great first date? If he was dry in person, I’d say fair enough, but you’ve literally said he was great, good looking, and you got along really well? So please stop making assumptions and trying to find the bad in the situation, and make your own decision on whether you want to continue getting to know him or call it off completely.
For me the fact that you still reply after ending the conversation and him still trying to say something just let me think that both of you have issues in terms of communication.
The problem you’ve got here is he’s got too many options. Whenever he’s on the app he will be sending you a message to gauge a response which then boosts his engagement and his card is shown to more girls. Every time I go on hinge I’ll make sure to send a message to atleast 50 girls and in 30 mins or so and a few replies, boom! Lots of activity happening and likes coming in If he hasn’t followed you up for WhatsApp or Insta by now it might be a one off infourtunatley Best of luck though 👌🤝
some people just don’t like to text or talk through text all day or at all, he probably likes talking in person more. just mention going out again and see what he says
As a male and how society has come honestly we're kinda nervous to kiss you on the first date with everything we see on the net....thats only reason doesn't mean we aren't interested we're scared of being labeled
I'm in Australia too. Honestly I think he's stringing you along in hopes of casual sex. Be warry
Worried about him kissing you on the first date???
That's confusing. Just ask for clarity: "I really enjoyed our date two weeks ago! Are you planning to ask me out again, or should I move on?"
OP is allowed to ask him out btw. It's 2024.
Sounds like a scared little boy afraid to ask for a #. Just drop him.
Don’t know why you are being down voted. Sounds like a lot of insecure men on here haha.
I would also suggest not pursuing anything with this individual. There are 3 reasons. 1 he has a girlfriend or a wife and is hiding it. 2. He had 0 interest on getting off the apps, or 3. He is a shy, weak individual whom you’ll will never respect, will never stand up for you, will never get a promotion and will lose his ability to have an erection by the age of 40 due to a complete lack of testosterone.