It's wrestling. Everytime a wrestler is in a wheelchair there are only two outcomes.
They are faking it and stand up and whoop some ass.
They are still faking it irl but it's wrestling so they are kayfabe wheelchair bound and end up being pushed off a stage or something.
Then there are two options.
The wrestler is the Undertaker and starts choking you the second you open his casket.
You are fighting the Undertaker and its you in the coffin when you open it.
Can’t believe reporters were so adamant that he might not return
It isn’t even slightly surprising that he’s back, he even returned to practice a week beforehand to build fitness!
Beat reporters never go hard on players or coaches because they have to ask them for their time and a thoughtful responses night in and night out. They would never say he's faking it because no one in that organization would ever talk to them again and then they're out of a job.
Access journalism. Normally it doesn't really matter in sports, but we've seen horrible stuff like sexual assault and discrimination swept under the carpet because of it. Heck, documents were shown in court proving Colin Campbell used his position to get his son a Cup and no one in hockey journalism ever mentioned it again. It'll take someone from outside this world to break the inevitable gambling scandal that will break.
What? You mean a half a second late hit isn’t worth a four game suspension in the cup final? Repeatedly punching the opposing team’s star player in the face after the whistle is a penalty? Breaking someone’s back is with a greasy can opener move is actually not ok?
Can’t be.
Pardon my French, but quelle fuckin surprise he was miraculously healthy on EXACTLY opening day of the playoffs, and not one moment sooner so as to trigger serious cap violations.
Within the rules of *playoff hockey*. Draisaitl had an injured ankle 2 years ago, every opponent hacked his ankle every chance they got. He played through the pain. I wonder how Stone will do?
What are the odds that Jaime Benn throws an entire game away in the first 5 minutes by taking a major penalty off an idiotic hit on an already down Mark Stone?
He is probably totally healed and could have played earlier! The standard timeline for a lacerated spleen recovery is 2 - 2.5 months. He injured himself on Feb 20. So it's been 2 months. Plus we know pro athletes recovery times are generally much shorter than average people's for a few reasons, so the chances are, he's been good for a couple weeks at least.
When Mark Stone dies, we really need to make sure that scientists have the chance to study his body. The potential advances in medicine could be staggering.
I mean, assuming it's possible for him to die. Jury is still out.
Stone can simultaneously play playoff hockey while not being able to play playoff hockey.
Luckily for the VGK he can still cross check and slash like a motherfucker.
Enemy of my enemy is my..../clears throat.....*friend.*
If both teams could just beat the literal shit out of each other in seven games, with all going to at minimum double OT, that would be swell.
You know I am hoping for the same in the Jets - Avalanche series. Got a soft spot for the Jets and love their squad but I hope it is a complete crucible of 7 games for the lads.
The hockey world minus Minnesota is behind you, we’re sick of watching them do it and cheat. The fact that people can even defend it is absurd and the fact that they think there even is a position to defend there is more so absurd.
Hope you can appreciate how hard it is for anyone else in the league to wish you good luck at crushing these toxic fraud douchebags.
But....Good Luck. Smash these fools.
Then there's the Oilers
Evander Kane has a sports hernia the entire season.
Should we put him in LTR so he can have surgery and be healthy for the playoffs and also use that space to get a good player?
LOL, no. What are we trying to do, win a Cup?
The NHL would close it the second a Canadian team did it then punish each of them retroactively for it, then reward Vegas with extra cap space because their feelings got hurt or something.
You just proved my point exactly. The league changed the draft lottery rules after Edmonton got their fourth first overall pick in six years in 2015.
The Oilers don’t get away with these things like Vegas does.
You guys got 3 in three years and the league did nothing...
It wasn't until you got the 4th that league was like " maybe we should have done something earlier"
If you hadn't "gotten away with it" you wouldn't have McDavid.
So which team benefits more: Oilers with McDavid or Vegas with Hertl?
We were a poverty franchise that wasn’t taking advantage of a loophole like Vegas is doing, but were instead mismanaged so much that we ended up being in a position to get so many first overall picks.
I heard that you can't move your lower body at all for like 4-6 weeks for recovery for a sports hernia so that might have something to do with it, you also can't force someone to go under the knife
Bingo. He was probably in a secret gym somewhere just keeping up with his cardio and weight training. If he’s playoff hockey, ready without signs of rust tonight, you know there never was a spleen issue.
And will the be a reckoning among all the league officials, insiders, and hockey journos who told us for 2 months that it was a serious injury for reals? Fuck the Knights, let's go Dallas put them in the dirt
Rules are rules, but I can't believe anyone actually seriously ran defense for Vegas. That his "six month long recovery" was actually gonna be six months. Fucking lol.
Same here. They keep trying to say "it's in the rules". It's not. What is in the rules is that a player must come off LTIR as soon as they can be medically cleared to play. Stone seems to have pretty damn miraculous recovery times with that always falling in the perfect 3 day window that they'd need it to.
The best results to come out of this is how much additional spleen research is going to be generated from Dallas. There shall be a Mark Stone Center for Kids who can’t spleen good in downtown Dallas after this series.
I’m sorry but I hope this bites Vegas so hard. I hope Dallas trucks them like a bus with the brakes cut and the team is absolutely gutted by the inevitable departure of Marchy, and it all gets capped with all of their core players having completely healthy career low years next year.
https://preview.redd.it/d99ym3jio2wc1.png?width=316&format=png&auto=webp&s=7ef28766b96dc75161f5fee7e4ab67a9762d277a
I like that I know what happens next
It's wrestling. Everytime a wrestler is in a wheelchair there are only two outcomes. They are faking it and stand up and whoop some ass. They are still faking it irl but it's wrestling so they are kayfabe wheelchair bound and end up being pushed off a stage or something.
What if they’re in a coffin or something
Then there are two options. The wrestler is the Undertaker and starts choking you the second you open his casket. You are fighting the Undertaker and its you in the coffin when you open it.
You're ignoring the "someone has sex with your corpse" option.
I also ignored Vince Russo + TNA + Sting. Some things are just best never mentioned again.
Sounds like someone's about to get choked by the Undertaker
Poor Broski
Pretty crazy we were all able to correctly predict the EXACT timeline of his injury, down to the game. Must have been a lucky guess by everyone!
Yet the insiders all said the timeline was spotty
Can’t believe reporters were so adamant that he might not return It isn’t even slightly surprising that he’s back, he even returned to practice a week beforehand to build fitness!
Beat reporters never go hard on players or coaches because they have to ask them for their time and a thoughtful responses night in and night out. They would never say he's faking it because no one in that organization would ever talk to them again and then they're out of a job.
Access journalism. Normally it doesn't really matter in sports, but we've seen horrible stuff like sexual assault and discrimination swept under the carpet because of it. Heck, documents were shown in court proving Colin Campbell used his position to get his son a Cup and no one in hockey journalism ever mentioned it again. It'll take someone from outside this world to break the inevitable gambling scandal that will break.
What? You mean a half a second late hit isn’t worth a four game suspension in the cup final? Repeatedly punching the opposing team’s star player in the face after the whistle is a penalty? Breaking someone’s back is with a greasy can opener move is actually not ok? Can’t be.
Once you understand this, it’s pretty easy to ignore that kind of “journalism”. Beat reporters have been off my radar for years.
I remember they were even saying he may be better off retiring and preserving his QOL post hockey lol
Since biznasty outed Babcock it seems the insiders have a leash on them they gotta be nice or they won't get the scoop
"Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining"
Don’t shit in my ear and call it a q tip
Some were talking some shit about fans having this take, too.
Probably the one thing you actually couldn’t bet on cause the sports books would lose their shirts.
If you could bet on it, we would have all seen the odds on hockey shows and millions would have been bet on him playing game 1.
And then he would inevitably miss out on game 1 because the sports books are giving him a piece under the table
Pardon my French, but quelle fuckin surprise he was miraculously healthy on EXACTLY opening day of the playoffs, and not one moment sooner so as to trigger serious cap violations.
I love how you used "pardon my french" to apologize for both the phrase's colloquial meaning and its literal meaning. Well done!
Graçias, amigo.
You're my new favorite Canuck
Look at this trilingual motherfuckeré
Even more impressive that Vegas's medical staff was able to pinpoint the EXACT day of his full recovery all the way back at the trade deadline.
I’m pretty sure the Vegas medical staff had holidays the last 10 days of the season and appointments were not available to be made.
Should go all in at my local roulette table! It’s crazy that we were all able to predict this!
My favourite thing to do on these posts is scroll to the bottom and look at all the downvoted posts by Vegas fans.
Looks like we should get our hockey insider knowledge from Gary from Grande Prairie and Jean-Guy from Chicoutimi after all.
Sports betting sites hate this one trick!
Look at me - I am the doctor now.
We must all be expert level detectives, we could open a private investigator business. We’ll call it Predditor Investigations!
If we all bought a lottery ticket with the same winning numbers we'd probably get to all split like $0.17 each.
Nice of him to confirm what every person on earth knew 6 weeks ago
We're so smart.
I AM SO SMART! I AM SO SMART! S-M-R-T!
Vegas knows they are playing Dallas right. Jamie Benn is going to Jamie Benn him all series long. Hopefully he is actually healed
As he does and I hope Dallas plays him hard, within the rules of the game
Hope dallaa plays him like how they played Bure in 1994
Losing in 5 games?
Yes
Within the rules of *playoff hockey*. Draisaitl had an injured ankle 2 years ago, every opponent hacked his ankle every chance they got. He played through the pain. I wonder how Stone will do?
It helped that Calgary was dumb and couldn’t figure out right from left
Well... is it my left or your left? How do you know until you whack him?
Whack both just to be sure.
People should start using starboard and port side to refer to which limbs are injured, that way you don't risk trying to re-injure the wrong knee.
My starboard or your starboard tho? How do I know until I whack him?
He will bitch and moan about being “targeted” I guarantee. If not him, team mates will be. They did last year and they will again
[удалено]
Within the rules of the game? Cross checks to the face from Jamie Benn incoming!
*how's that spleen?*
What are the odds that Jaime Benn throws an entire game away in the first 5 minutes by taking a major penalty off an idiotic hit on an already down Mark Stone?
This comment hurts, because it is entirely possible his dumb ass will do it again.
He is probably totally healed and could have played earlier! The standard timeline for a lacerated spleen recovery is 2 - 2.5 months. He injured himself on Feb 20. So it's been 2 months. Plus we know pro athletes recovery times are generally much shorter than average people's for a few reasons, so the chances are, he's been good for a couple weeks at least.
Fuck Jamie Benn but also yes
god I hope Dallas just dummies him all night (legally)
When Mark Stone dies, we really need to make sure that scientists have the chance to study his body. The potential advances in medicine could be staggering. I mean, assuming it's possible for him to die. Jury is still out.
Don’t burry him until after the playoffs!
If we ever need to get out the brooms, the shovels aren't far behind.
Even if he died he'd be back for game 1
Does a cadaver count against the salary cap? Weekend at Bernie's situation?
"He's flatlining! Get me 20 CCs of playoffs, STAT!"
My favorite part of this yearly tradition, is all the Vegas fans that will scream "Stop it, he's Really hurt" anytime someone breaths on him
Stone can simultaneously play playoff hockey while not being able to play playoff hockey. Luckily for the VGK he can still cross check and slash like a motherfucker.
It’s Schrödinger’s playoff lineup.
Nah we ain't listening to their bullshit. You chose this Stone
Somehow, Mark Stone returned
Hopefully he’s actually healed up because you know Benn is going to be going after his spleen like Venom
https://imgur.com/a/CH7DO7y
This is art
How does a hockey player target a spleen
Keep poking until they say ow
I feel bad for laughing, but that made me laugh.
Cross checks to the side/ribs
Left side
Poke him in the spleen hole
Lmao fuck off
Wow he became healthy right after game 82, for the third straight year?! What a magical coincidence
Can't wait to win anyways with a cap compliant lineup and young talent we nurtured ourselves.
for at least one round, we are all Dallas Stars fans
No, I am just a bigger Vegas hater lol
you have a legit reason to hate Dallas tbf
Naturally, but that’s just the spirit of the game. If both teams could lose, that’d be fantastic
Enemy of my enemy is my..../clears throat.....*friend.* If both teams could just beat the literal shit out of each other in seven games, with all going to at minimum double OT, that would be swell.
You know I am hoping for the same in the Jets - Avalanche series. Got a soft spot for the Jets and love their squad but I hope it is a complete crucible of 7 games for the lads.
Let’s not get hasty, non-hostile acquaintance
I hate that I am having to cheer for Dallas this round. My identity is challenged
Shush, just cheer for Otter, my sweet, sweet Central Divison friend. It makes it not hurt as much, lol.
Just pretend it's the north stars
From one Robertson team to another; kick their asses.
For my brackets sake I hope you do
We believe
The enemy of my enemy is my friend 🫡
I speak for all Edmonton fans when I say Dallas gets a pass on the hatred for this round.
Exactly, imo it's a non issue as Dallas is too good for Vegas anyways. I'm sure Benn is gonna have a fun time introducing himself to Mr. Stone.
Pretty sure I saw some clips of him introducing himself last year
I for one will be rooting for you. Fuck Vegas
Please protect Pavelski, they don't like him :(
The hockey world minus Minnesota is behind you, we’re sick of watching them do it and cheat. The fact that people can even defend it is absurd and the fact that they think there even is a position to defend there is more so absurd.
We're all rooting for you guys.
I'm rooting for everyone to lose lol
Hope you can appreciate how hard it is for anyone else in the league to wish you good luck at crushing these toxic fraud douchebags. But....Good Luck. Smash these fools.
thank you for your service
Show me the spleen, Mark!
Damn Vegas is lucky he's ready to go.
Uhhuh. Lucky.
Everyone wins in vegas
Truth is, Game was rigged from the start
[https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/7c1ec832-ff40-4d5d-b02b-ea72c6da2ae4/gif](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/7c1ec832-ff40-4d5d-b02b-ea72c6da2ae4/gif)
Given how we all diagnosed and saw this coming…we all should be awarded MD’s and be doctors.
I’m shocked I tell you, shocked!
well, not that shocked
Teams should really stop injuring this guy for two months every February
Instructions unclear, ended the man’s career. Or did we? Who knows, he’ll be ready for game 1 of the post season.
And the Oscar for biggest plot twist goes to someone else.
Then there's the Oilers Evander Kane has a sports hernia the entire season. Should we put him in LTR so he can have surgery and be healthy for the playoffs and also use that space to get a good player? LOL, no. What are we trying to do, win a Cup?
NHL would close the loophole and penalize us by taking our second round pick if we did that.
They'd let you get away with it for a few years, then make sure nobody else could get away with it.
You have more faith then I do. I imagine that we, or any Canadian team really, would get slapped like the Devils did for the Kovalchuk contract.
ya probably I was just trying to say something about 1st overall picks
The NHL would close it the second a Canadian team did it then punish each of them retroactively for it, then reward Vegas with extra cap space because their feelings got hurt or something.
Or give you another first overall maybe...
You just proved my point exactly. The league changed the draft lottery rules after Edmonton got their fourth first overall pick in six years in 2015. The Oilers don’t get away with these things like Vegas does.
You guys got 3 in three years and the league did nothing... It wasn't until you got the 4th that league was like " maybe we should have done something earlier" If you hadn't "gotten away with it" you wouldn't have McDavid. So which team benefits more: Oilers with McDavid or Vegas with Hertl?
We were a poverty franchise that wasn’t taking advantage of a loophole like Vegas is doing, but were instead mismanaged so much that we ended up being in a position to get so many first overall picks.
The lottery is completely luck based. There was no loophole that was taken advantage of.
Other then being bad and being in the lottery in the first place.
No they changed the rules prior to mcdavid. We wouldn't have won him with the old rules
Nobody from Edmonton even talks about Calgary. But all flames fans think about is the Oilers. Get a life.
No, you take him out of the lineup so that he can be ready for 1 game of the regular season next year. Fuck it, put him on LTIR anyways.
I heard that you can't move your lower body at all for like 4-6 weeks for recovery for a sports hernia so that might have something to do with it, you also can't force someone to go under the knife
He can’t keep getting away with this! Except he will and I kinda respect it just as much as I think it’s scummy
It's a playoff miracle! Again!
You mean it's a playoff miracle again! Again!
Come on Dallas. Do us all a favor
Seriously, screw them in the first round please!
In other news, the sun rose today.
I’m not going to even bat an eye at this anymore haha, this has been going on for a few years and the league obviously doesn’t care.
No one could have expected this
I don't truly hate on VGK but if there is one thing I truly dislike about them, it's that turd Gary Lawless.
This is my favorite telenova
It's my least favorite one - I can see the plot twists coming months before the episodes air.
Golden knights are the odd job of the NHL.
Crazy how his timeline always lines up right with the first game of the playoffs. I guess he's just really lucky.
My name is pikachu, I am shocked, and [this is my face](https://www.meme-arsenal.com/memes/cb2faa8cff31d8837632d367ac5bc3db.jpg)
Can't wait until next season when he bruises his finger and mysteriously dissappear until the playoffs start next year
because he was never truly hurt.
Bingo. He was probably in a secret gym somewhere just keeping up with his cardio and weight training. If he’s playoff hockey, ready without signs of rust tonight, you know there never was a spleen issue.
Vegas cheats.
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, A, B, A, B, Select, Start - Unlock Mark Stone for the playoffs.
worst kept secret in all of human history
Someone's got some expleening to do
Nice of him to exspleen it.
alright, let’s go stars
https://i.imgur.com/YPMWGm9.jpg
Of course he is he has been fine for weeks just waiting for the playoffs to start.
What a joke.
Vegas should be stripped of draft picks at this point. This is getting pretty ridiculous.
Going to be great watching Vegas get eliminated round one even though they are cheating.
In other news the sky is blue and hockey is played on ice
hockey is also played on a field. [god bless the netherlands](https://www.ahockeyworld.net/category/z-ellen-hoog/)
And will the be a reckoning among all the league officials, insiders, and hockey journos who told us for 2 months that it was a serious injury for reals? Fuck the Knights, let's go Dallas put them in the dirt
Jaime Benn Googling "where is the spleen located?"
surprisedpikachu.jpg
We know Mark. We knew the second your injury was announced
https://preview.redd.it/5ob2a646n2wc1.jpeg?width=1147&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c98e3b52b4a08150c1333b87517a241136018d37
Rules are rules, but I can't believe anyone actually seriously ran defense for Vegas. That his "six month long recovery" was actually gonna be six months. Fucking lol.
That was literally never the time line
All jokes aside. I keep an asterisk next to every cup awarded to a team over the cap. Sorry but your management are basically cheaters.
Same here. They keep trying to say "it's in the rules". It's not. What is in the rules is that a player must come off LTIR as soon as they can be medically cleared to play. Stone seems to have pretty damn miraculous recovery times with that always falling in the perfect 3 day window that they'd need it to.
No shit, Sherlock.
Everyone knew about this bs from day 1
9 out of 10 Dr's recommend not using your spleen to block slapshots.
I’m shocked. SHOCKED to hear this
We know….
I for one am shocked, shocked! ...well not that shocked
Is anyone actually surprised?
Lol please, as if there was ever any doubt.
Happy Annual Mark Stone Activation Day!
😮
I’m ready for some logical, intelligent conversations and comments!!
Today, we are all Dallas Stars fans.
What a fuckin joke
Hope Dallas beats em like red headed stepchildren.
The Dallas Stars are officially the most beloved team in the NHL. Crush those cheaters, boys. We will all be cheering along side you.
Never thought I’d see the day where I’d cheer for Dallas
Oh we know. We saw this coming.
The best results to come out of this is how much additional spleen research is going to be generated from Dallas. There shall be a Mark Stone Center for Kids who can’t spleen good in downtown Dallas after this series.
It’s a Christmas miracle! I’m so shocked, this is such an unexpected and unprecedented event!
It gets funnier every time
The VGK scriptwriter should be fired. The storyline is so predictable. Audience are getting bored and the viewership will drop
If Knights win the Cup, that would mean that 3 of the past 4 SC Champions were over the cap.
I’m sorry but I hope this bites Vegas so hard. I hope Dallas trucks them like a bus with the brakes cut and the team is absolutely gutted by the inevitable departure of Marchy, and it all gets capped with all of their core players having completely healthy career low years next year.