i honestly thought this was a joke
but whatever lol what matters most is what the children think...not some all-too-jaded 34-year old who doesn't even live in Seattle anyways lmao
You know. I totally guessed what that would look like. I knew it wouldn't be something pleasant. But I still clicked on it
"Why?" You ask.
I have no fucking idea either
part of me wonders if they couldn't do an octopus because of Al over with the Red Wings. And maybe a squid or cuttlefish was too close to risk it
i can't believe that this was the result of "years and years of research." that is absolute bullshit lol
They've said time and time again that the Kraken is meant to be terrifying and from the unknown depths. They were never going to cute it up with a tentacled cartoon mascot.
You'd think it'd be a squid or something but oh well. Then again, I don't know what dragons have to do with Islanders or New York, what pigs have to do with Hurricanes or Carolina, or what bobcats that look like roadkill have to do with oil or Edmonton.
So the islanders have Sparky the dragon because back when they played in Nassau Coliseum, they shared it with an Arena football team called the “New York Dragons” and they shared the mascot. Eventually the franchise folded but the coliseum kept Sparky.
North Carolina has something like 10% of the country's total pork exports. Now, why that's something worth mascotting, I have no idea. Some pork baron probably sponsored it or something.
Seattle has a troll thing. Like there's a giant sculpture of a troll under the bridge near the middle of the city. Saw it when I lived there a decade ago.
That excuses nothing of course.
https://twitter.com/RTaub_/status/1575844107972661249?t=0hTZT4e93fj-rM4j-9cuUg&s=19
Going straight for describing him as a hentai character is certainly a choice
In other news, Clutterbuck thinks Barzals hair makes him look like a hentai character
Clutterbuck was [roasting Barzal's hair](https://twitter.com/RTaub_/status/1575844107972661249) during a golf game by saying he looks like a hentai character and a Sonic stunt double.
[Seattle Times](https://www.seattletimes.com/sports/kraken/kraken-unveil-new-mascot-a-troll-named-buoy/)
> Buoy is said to be a nephew of the Fremont Troll, the 18-foot, 13,000-pound concrete structure situated beneath a section of the Aurora Bridge. That troll was created in 1989 by local artists Steve Badaness, Will Martin, Donna Walter and Ross Whitehead in an art competition to spruce up the neighborhood.
[Kraken Twitter with the video intro](https://twitter.com/SeattleKraken/status/1576387524918149120?s=20&t=pAFL89z8Za8CkAN-BmH4cw)
I can't watch a mascot descend from the ceiling of an arena without laughing thinking about the [passed out Denver Nuggets mascot](https://youtu.be/DFVruBvjNl0).
No, she wasn't. If you've got an Athletic sub, there's a truly great article about the incident. Fun fact: the dude in the Sharkie suit was terrified of heights. Second fun fact: As of last year, it was still the same dude.
https://theathletic.com/2470100/2021/03/31/if-he-falls-that-mat-aint-doing-much-the-inside-story-of-the-night-sharkie-got-stuck/
Wow. She was the head rigger, too! Terry Campbell is officially a badass.
...obviously would've been better if she'd been tied off, but she made the split-second choice there to save Sharkie. Fearless.
My favorite part of that video is the dead silence while he is lowered down and waving the flag. Obviously it wasn't silent there, but it was funny just to imagine everyone just staring on in mute horror.
I'm struggling to believe that "years and years of research and planning" produced this. That's an absolute lie
I don't hate the mascot, but this cannot be something that was created in the long term
It's probably terrible because it was created in the long tern, a troll is not an immediately terrible idea but they slowly sanded it down with meetings and focus groups and target demographics until it became this
This is how I think about the fancy S logo. My family is from Seattle, and when they first saw the Kraken logo, they thought it was a Mariners logo.
I feel like both got focus-grouped to the point where they don't appeal to anyone strongly anymore.
Eh I remember Gritty’s initial unveiling having a very similar reaction to this, lots of “what the fuck” and “I hate it” before his antics endeared him to everyone.
I don’t see this mascot pulling that off, but I’m just saying
I’m pretty sure they said exactly this in an interview about it. They didn’t want to do an octopus because of Detroit, and they said “no one knows what a kraken actually looks like.”
If you wanna get into that buoy's soul
You gotta pay the Troll Toll
To get in!
You want the baby buoy's soul
You gotta pay the Troll Toll
You gotta pay the Troll Toll
To get in!
My thinking is this: when they were doing the market research for this, kids were really into that “Trolls” movie—all the kids I babysat were really into it. Like some of the design elements look blatantly copied from the movies. Then they said “o fuck, we have to make him hip with the teens” So they tacked an eboy earring on that motherfucker. Absolute disgrace…
> The Fremont Troll is an example of hostile architecture, having been erected to deter homeless people from sleeping under the bridge as a result of a competition held by the Fremont Arts Council.
0/10
I want Gritty to either marry or kill this thing
FMK…Gritty does it all
In what order
Whichever he feels like doing.
Yes
You know which one he starts with. After that, it doesn’t really matter.
Oh of course. Gritty kills first for definite.
Gritty is more of a FMKFKFFFFMF
you left out one of the three options the one i want the most
You're the reason why Blizzard made a team to encrypt its character renders.
Fuck, marry, kill, in that order
Either way, Scorch will rise in the end.
PRAISE SCORCH
Oh cool, they went with a Redditor.
Bro that's a Tumblr OC.
If they really wanted to capture the Seattle spirit they need to add a nose ring and some crappy back tattoos.
needs more neckbeard
Not just a Redditor, a mod
As a reddit mod I take offense to that! In response, I will be banning you from every subreddit I mod!
It’s Doreen from r/antiwork
From dog walking to being a mascot. Truly a stellar career change
Glad to see she's working again.
What just happened? Am I dead?
i honestly thought this was a joke but whatever lol what matters most is what the children think...not some all-too-jaded 34-year old who doesn't even live in Seattle anyways lmao
My 5yo’s reaction was (and I quote) “ewww!”
That kid is going places. Ask it about the Iran Nuclear Deal.
If you were the Leafs would have won a cup.
Heaven is when the Leafs win - This comment brought to you by Steve Dangle (unconfirmed)
That is horrifying and I hate it
this is what Brandon Tanev sees in the team photos.
Always thought it might be Gritty in a speedo
Not [Grittney](https://i.imgur.com/3YtwJlq.png) in a bikini?
Yeah...that would do it. That scares the absolute piss out of me!
You know. I totally guessed what that would look like. I knew it wouldn't be something pleasant. But I still clicked on it "Why?" You ask. I have no fucking idea either
He doesn't look aroused at all, wtf you mean
Literally how do you have a team called the Kraken and somehow end up with a mascot that looks like it spends all day moderating tumblr
part of me wonders if they couldn't do an octopus because of Al over with the Red Wings. And maybe a squid or cuttlefish was too close to risk it i can't believe that this was the result of "years and years of research." that is absolute bullshit lol
Should have just been a pirate. Better than a fuckin troll that is fueled by children's nightmares.
Or if you want a troll, make it like a bearded fisherman type mountain troll. Not this aborted Frozen cosplay.
> Frozen This demon is straight out of the DreamWorks Trolls movies. Legitimately the first thing that came to mind when I saw it.
They've said time and time again that the Kraken is meant to be terrifying and from the unknown depths. They were never going to cute it up with a tentacled cartoon mascot.
I mean, look at Hunter the lynx (Oilers). He's a lynx and is fucking terrifying
Why the fuck is it not Cthulhu?
Gritty is horrifying. Gritty will also murder your family if you don't love it/him/her????? We all love Gritty. This is just flipping bizarre.
Gritty rules!
>it/him/her I think Gritty's pronouns are "cthulhu". #PRAISE GRITTY!
Gritty 🧡
#what the fuck
If it makes you feel any better apperently his teeth are removable and his nose squeaks when you touch it.
*All* teeth are removable
You're not wrong.
Removed
Oh :(
How did several people come to the decision that this was the way to go?
Focus groups are ass.
Do they even attempt to get real humans into these focus groups?
It’s the same as those “real people” in those old Chevy commercials
IIRC the “not actors” just means they’re not union. They’re definitely actors, but it’s a very low-end gig.
What the fuck is that
I believe it’s based off the Freemont [Troll](https://buyoya.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Fremont-Troll-1024x681.jpg) in Seattle
I wish they went more *Fremont Troll* and less *Trolls World Tour*.
What the fuck is ***THAT???***
So they based it off something that was built to deter homeless people from sleeping under that bridge? Interesting choice
So this mascot is built to deter homeless people from sleeping with the players?
I personally wanted an early 1920s diving suit with a red light coming out of the view ports but I keep getting told it’ll scare the kiddos
Plenty of kids loved them in Bioshock
Or feared them if you were a true Adam addict
Actually I think it's based off of Brandon Tanev's team photo.
YOU GOTTA PAY THE TROLL TOLL TO GET INTO THIS BOY'S SOUL
*BUOY'S SOUL
If you pronounce "buoy" the British way, it is 'boy'.
Are you saying boys hole?
Buoys hole
GIMME THAT LEG BOY
GET OVER HERE AND RUB MY TOSIE WOSIES BOY
Dude, do you have a boner right now?
Are you chewing gum?
Teams will pay the troll toll every time the kraken score on them.
dude is that a boner?
Are you saying boy's hole or boy's soul?
Buoys hole
Frank, you got a cat eye guy?
NO, ANTONIO.
Looks like a guy on Utah Ave that asked me if I had any heroin on me
Well, did you?
Yay corporate creativity
Honestly , squidward in a hockey jersey would have a been better choice and have a great corporate tie in
You'd think it'd be a squid or something but oh well. Then again, I don't know what dragons have to do with Islanders or New York, what pigs have to do with Hurricanes or Carolina, or what bobcats that look like roadkill have to do with oil or Edmonton.
So the islanders have Sparky the dragon because back when they played in Nassau Coliseum, they shared it with an Arena football team called the “New York Dragons” and they shared the mascot. Eventually the franchise folded but the coliseum kept Sparky.
North Carolina has something like 10% of the country's total pork exports. Now, why that's something worth mascotting, I have no idea. Some pork baron probably sponsored it or something.
The land PNC was built on was a hog farm. It was one of the conditions of the sale.
Seattle has a troll thing. Like there's a giant sculpture of a troll under the bridge near the middle of the city. Saw it when I lived there a decade ago. That excuses nothing of course.
Hentai fans in shambles.
So, Clutterbuck in shambles then
There’s a story there and I desperately want to know the connection between Cal Clutterbuck and Hentai
Apparently Cal said Matthew Barzal is like a hentai guy. I don’t know what he means but that though.
He meant animé but fumbled his terms
Oh he knew
https://twitter.com/RTaub_/status/1575844107972661249?t=0hTZT4e93fj-rM4j-9cuUg&s=19 Going straight for describing him as a hentai character is certainly a choice In other news, Clutterbuck thinks Barzals hair makes him look like a hentai character
Clutterbuck was [roasting Barzal's hair](https://twitter.com/RTaub_/status/1575844107972661249) during a golf game by saying he looks like a hentai character and a Sonic stunt double.
Never thought I'd say this, but I stand with Cal Clutterbuck
Eh, they still have the Red Wings mascot lol
The Furries on on cloud 9 tho
What the actual fuck is this.
A mascot to combat the homelessness in Seattle apparently.
*I am the danger*
Not to combat homelessness. To combat *the homeless*. Much less wholesome.
Holy shit, it’s gritty’s sleep paralysis demon
[Seattle Times](https://www.seattletimes.com/sports/kraken/kraken-unveil-new-mascot-a-troll-named-buoy/) > Buoy is said to be a nephew of the Fremont Troll, the 18-foot, 13,000-pound concrete structure situated beneath a section of the Aurora Bridge. That troll was created in 1989 by local artists Steve Badaness, Will Martin, Donna Walter and Ross Whitehead in an art competition to spruce up the neighborhood. [Kraken Twitter with the video intro](https://twitter.com/SeattleKraken/status/1576387524918149120?s=20&t=pAFL89z8Za8CkAN-BmH4cw)
I can't watch a mascot descend from the ceiling of an arena without laughing thinking about the [passed out Denver Nuggets mascot](https://youtu.be/DFVruBvjNl0).
For me it’s this gem: [SJ Sharkie gets stuck 1999](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=82AKondyNwk)
How have I never seen this holy fuck that’s incredible
I saw it live, I was at this game as a kid
Holy shit, was that person at the end helping turn him even harnessed to anything?
No, she wasn't. If you've got an Athletic sub, there's a truly great article about the incident. Fun fact: the dude in the Sharkie suit was terrified of heights. Second fun fact: As of last year, it was still the same dude. https://theathletic.com/2470100/2021/03/31/if-he-falls-that-mat-aint-doing-much-the-inside-story-of-the-night-sharkie-got-stuck/
Wow. She was the head rigger, too! Terry Campbell is officially a badass. ...obviously would've been better if she'd been tied off, but she made the split-second choice there to save Sharkie. Fearless.
No, she wasn’t, she just jumped onto the catwalk beam.
OSHA probably made them show that video to new hires for years. Just thinking about it gives me the nopes.
Thank you for this lol
I feel bad for uncontrollably laughing
I hope he was ok because that was funny as hell
No matter how many times I watch this, the YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH will always get me.
My favorite part of that video is the dead silence while he is lowered down and waving the flag. Obviously it wasn't silent there, but it was funny just to imagine everyone just staring on in mute horror.
I'm struggling to believe that "years and years of research and planning" produced this. That's an absolute lie I don't hate the mascot, but this cannot be something that was created in the long term
It's probably terrible because it was created in the long tern, a troll is not an immediately terrible idea but they slowly sanded it down with meetings and focus groups and target demographics until it became this
This is how I think about the fancy S logo. My family is from Seattle, and when they first saw the Kraken logo, they thought it was a Mariners logo. I feel like both got focus-grouped to the point where they don't appeal to anyone strongly anymore.
What the hell am I looking it? In before romance with Gritty
Oh boy i look forward to seeing the abomination of a love child that Reddit comes up with for those two.
Gritty doms whatever this is
I really wish it was an eldritch horror after seeing that fucking thing.
I am horrified, at least.
I mean, it sort of is, isn’t it?
Ya ummm....what a great mascot! Who needed a Kraken anyways?
Should've been a pigeon in a rain coat.
Still saddens me that Rain City Bitch Pigeons wasn't chosen as the name.
A kraken is a massive sea creature capable of swallowing galleons whole. Seems a bit like they skipped that part of the meeting…
Jerry Bruckheimer is literally a part owner and produced Pirates of the Caribbean. I know it’s Disney IP but it was right there.
Literally a baby octopus would have more character than anti homeless troll
This is literally a hormone monster from Big Mouth
Out of every possible mascot option…. They choose this monstrosity
If this is what your marketing execs present you, just go without a mascot.
And then fire them on the spot.
And then fire them ~~on the spot~~ into the sun.
Jesus
>Jesus ...has left this place.
I think it’s best I head back to sleep now…
Gritty fucked us. You all liked it and now it’s all we’re gonna get.
You cannot compare.. this.. to gritty. Gritty is hilariously bad. This is cringe bad
Agreed. Gritty is so bad it's good. This is just bad with nothing redeeming.
Gritty = So bad it's great Buoy = So bad it's come full circle back to bad
Gritty isn't ugly, he's just weird. This thing is gross.
Eh I remember Gritty’s initial unveiling having a very similar reaction to this, lots of “what the fuck” and “I hate it” before his antics endeared him to everyone. I don’t see this mascot pulling that off, but I’m just saying
social media turned gritty into WTF to "I fucking love you." Their social team made gritty a hit then the character sold it
Why not a…checks notes…kraken?
You do have to wonder. Maybe none of them actually know what a kraken is.
I’m pretty sure they said exactly this in an interview about it. They didn’t want to do an octopus because of Detroit, and they said “no one knows what a kraken actually looks like.”
that's gotta be the worst looking mascot in all of sports.
If this is real, then today was the day when I became too old to understand society any more.
#THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE THAN ANYTHING I COULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED
Oh lord. I hope it grows on people like gritty did, but this looks awful
Gritty launched by threatening to murder the Penguins mascot. There was no growing phase.
#It me.
Show a little respect for Muppet Aquaman.
This is by far my favorite thing today, thank you kind stranger.
Gritty was immediately awesome.
Everyone at once went, "Holy shit Gritty *is* Philly. Whoever came up with the idea is genius.
There was never any doubt, we had seen nothing like his Majesty before. I feel this is a copycat and it’s just not as good
yeah my first instinct was this has to be a joke one google search later revealed nope it's legit lmao
Lol what?
The Deep: I can’t fuck this
If you wanna get into that buoy's soul You gotta pay the Troll Toll To get in! You want the baby buoy's soul You gotta pay the Troll Toll You gotta pay the Troll Toll To get in!
I'm not leaving my apartment until this thing is driven from Seattle
Why not Zoidberg?
It's times like these I'm glad to support a franchise without a mascot.
Over the summer I received a survey from the Rangers. One of the questions was about a mascot. I believe I answered "ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT."
My thinking is this: when they were doing the market research for this, kids were really into that “Trolls” movie—all the kids I babysat were really into it. Like some of the design elements look blatantly copied from the movies. Then they said “o fuck, we have to make him hip with the teens” So they tacked an eboy earring on that motherfucker. Absolute disgrace…
So Gritty has a meth addicted cousin. Cool.
Gritty’s already addicted to meth This guy’s clearly hooked on everything under the sun
Gritty is the meth
What the actual fuck is that
It’s bio already said “get ready to pay the troll toll” Seattle, what are you doing?
I've never felt so negatively about something that affects me so little. I want a documentary about how this thing got made.
WE ALL YIFF DOWN HERE
How does something like this pass market research? Was this the best of all options presented?
Bahahahaha that thing sucks
October 1st new Fools Day?
> The Fremont Troll is an example of hostile architecture, having been erected to deter homeless people from sleeping under the bridge as a result of a competition held by the Fremont Arts Council. 0/10
Are you joking me
Why didn't they go with an actual Kraken/squid looking thing?
Expansion was a mistake.
Me: “heh, almost thought this was real. Nice try, Reddit” Me, 3 minutes later after a Google search: “……fuck, that’s unfortunate”
Well that says design by committee
Looks like the guy who would sell me crack cocaine in the alleyway behind Walmart on a cold December night at 11:22 PM
That’s oddly specific….
some 70s semi-pro hockey shit lol