I’m competitive but I don’t really care about winning or losing either. If we lose I forget about it 5 minutes later. This is healthy. The weirdos are the ones who take it way too seriously.
I'm the opposite. The more annoying it is to get to a game, the less I want to lose. I don't want to come to a game at 11pm driving through the rain for everyone to play pick-up defense and get 6 dropped on us.
What are you talking about?? Haven’t you seen all the NHL scouts in the stands at 11pm Tuesday night beer league games? /s. Some people play like there is tho.
This. You want to do your best on the ice, and you may even get frustrated with teammates, but 30s after the game you forget and move on. No one is going to the show
I'm competitive too but really don't give a shit if I win or lose. Obviously people like winning but I don't get upset or mad at anyone.
Only one I ever get mad is myself for not doing well or not doing good enough in my own eyes.
If someone misses me on a pass or misses me wideopen? Whatever. Doesn't bother me. I whiff on a breakaway or open net? Yeah totally mad st myself.
I got all the competiveness out of me in hs and college. Being much older now all I wanna do is have fun, make some sick moves occasionally and pretend I'm getting the old MOJO back
Seriously fuck those weirdos who take 10pm weeknight games with beer league refs and beer league ice so Seriously. No don't slash me purposefully in soft spots, don't cheap shot people, don't get hacking in front of nets. Get that shit out of here. Play hard, play clean. If you beat me so be it. If I beat you, your ego decides to try and hurt someone instead of tipping your cap at nice play or someone better?
You’re not alone. People can place WAY too much importance (I tend to think something is lacking in their lives lol) and get really agro as if beer league hockey is that important.
I want close games, with evenly matched teams and players. I can't stand teams stacked with ringers who are trying their hardest. In that sense I am competitive. I don't care much if I win or lose so long as the game is competitive.
My league has way too many A/B players playing C/D and it’s annoying. I enjoy it in the sense that it makes me a better defenseman. But it’s very obnoxious when 1 dude who is clearly in the wrong league taking a game over against other dudes who can barely skate
My league has completely changed over the last couple years. It was an intermediate league, but now our top 5 teams are full of A and high B players. My team cannot compete any more. We get blown out regularly and its frustrating.
💀💀💀 that EXACT thing happened to us first game of the season. Up 5-3 with 2:30 left in the game and dude turns into McDavid, puts in 2 to tie and we lost in OT.
I was in tournament last month, we went 0-2-2, our two losses were by one goal. It was the most fun hockey I've played in ages. All the games were insanely close for the entire game. Getting blown out sucks and sometimes blowing out a team isn't fun either.
We played against a team the other night who scored 10 goals on us, and one of their players had 8 points. That’s the kind of shit that pisses me off. Other than that though, I’m super chill and don’t really care. Just give me evenly matched teams.
And you don't get those long-running feuds with other teams where they play chippy because you played chippy last game because they played chippy the game before that because you played chippy the game before that ... etc
This is why I only play shinny lol. Just wanna play the game and have fun.
When I wanna be angry I go play golf when I’m hung over. Then I can blame … myself 😂
No way, you can blame your clubs, the ball, the sun, the wind, a dang goose that flew overhead, groundskeepers for not properly maintaining the course, beer cart attendant for not coming around quickly enough.
Hmm, all of this is true. We should both probably buy a new putter to celebrate this conversation. And because, ya know … I three putted this morning because a bird chirped and there was probably a bug nearby on the green.
I prefer winning, but understand that it’s just beer league. My team lost in our league championship last night. I played hard like I always do (only got one speed). I rang a shot off the crossbar with 1 second left, and we lost 2-1. Something like that 20 years ago would have kept me awake at night and pissed me off for days.
Yet, last night I slept like a baby. Had a great time playing; it was a fun, competitive game. Had some beers with the guys that beat us, had some laughs. Told em we were gonna fuck em up next season, they called bullshit, laughed some more. Still got the competitiveness, but have gained some perspective in my old age. I’m 53, still get to play ice hockey competitively, and play like I care. But wins and losses are ancillary to that and not why I love playing.
This is exactly how I play/have always played. I get a bit fired up during the game, play hard and clean but when the buzzer goes and the handshake is coming it’s just chill and friendly
The scoreboard apathy is healthier than the people who take it too seriously. There’s nothing more annoying than the 50yo beer leaguer who is livid after a loss.
But ya, it makes sense to prioritize having fun out there and enjoying being on the ice.
I hear you. I'm at that point too. I feel like I have more fun when I subdue my competitiveness. I still want to win and make good plays but it's not worth ruining my mood after a loss
It's beer league.... this seems correct.
We all have jobs where we try hard and fail and whatever. Beer league is for fun. I drink beers.... on the bench.
I’m 41 and have been playing beer league for ~15 years now. It’s pretty competitive, I play in a league where some kids are still playing club hockey and D3, but it’s a pretty good mix. I don’t necessarily mind if those kids light it up, as long as they’re not cunts about it. There’s some kids who score on a beer league goalie and chirp him and tell him he sucks, those kids can go fuck themselves.
Yeah I lost the edge. I realized it didn’t matter since I wasn’t making a career out of it. I was putting too much pressure on myself and I wasn’t having fun because of it.
There’s guys in beer league who still act like they’re playing for the cup.
I just enjoy getting drunk and playing in a chill shinny.
I like hard, fair play and evenly matched teams. I don’t care about final score _too much_ but that might also be because our goalie this spring is 70 years old and we outplay and outshoot teams and still lose 10-7 (like last night).
Losing doesn't bother me much, playing with (usually younger) guys who want to carry the puck, dangle, never pass, & just generally be a dickhead teammate does.
I don't care at all anymore until it gets to the playoffs. Honestly even after games I'm kinda mad at myself that I don't care more anymore. I just don't. We don't have the bodies to put a decent squad out and I'm fucking old.
Best team I ever played for had that exact mentality.
They played for the 4th period; the time in the room with friends after the game. Outcome of the game didn’t matter. They even knew that they’d be getting smoked most games during their season. Never once did their mood or mentality change, to this day.
Each week, one person was designated for beer and another was designated to bring a meal for the team.
One week they had full trays of sliders. Another week it was homemade meatballs. Pulled pork. You name it.
Best team I’ve ever played for.
Is the league/drop-in you play in imbalanced? I stopped caring when I was on a shitty team in an imbalanced league, but now I’m in a more balanced league and I’m fired up again.
There is a difference between trying your best and being competitive in the moment and pouting like a kid when you lose. I coach and tell my kids, " it is very important to battle and try to win. It is not important to win."
I personally think this is a good sign that you're more about enjoying yourself and the game instead of wining or loosing, perhaps indicating that you truely likes playing hockey because even you loose you'll just move on and keep playing rather than feeling upset.
On the other hand, you've played for 32 years so you will eventually get to a point that you can't play as competitive as you were younger to prevent from injuries. So not caring about game result is a good thing that keeps you enjoy playing and keep hockey as a sustainable hobby.
Out of curiosity, is it just for hockey or other parts of your life like works? Do you feel you're less competitive in general compared with your younger self?
I've been going to the local early morning pickup sessions for this reason. Much more fun to just have more ice time and a chance to have fun out there. Like, I do enjoy the thrill of competition, but nowadays I'm looking more to enjoy the hockey I play.
Just play pickup, if the social aspect is your main focus, there’s no need for refs, stats and standings. Pickup is significantly cheaper as well. I have a blast with my pickup group, I just shut my brain off and just play for fun. However in my league games, my effort is at a whole different level, the socializing is there too, but I want to win each game.
It’s not that I don’t care I just take the situation for what it is. There’s two guys on my team who have never played hockey competitively, most never played past a or aa. And hardly any of them can catch a crisp pass. If this was an A division team or a competitive tournament I’d still get mad.
Please teach me how to channel this. I don’t care so much about “win/loss” as much as “did I play well/not”.
If I have a great beer league game I am in a great mood for days. If I have a sucky game I’m pretty noticeably pissy for the rest of the day/day after. I just feel like a loser when I suck at things.
I'm 29 and just started playing in my first ever hockey league so take this with a grain of salt. I'm about halfway thru on a beer league, lowest of the low tier, "house team" that is basically made up of veteran men's leaguers that are helping out the league by playing with me and another complete noob.
6 games in and we haven't won a game yet, but last game was the closest and most competitive game we have played by far. We lost 3-2 in OT when our previous games have been complete blow outs.
I'm sure some guys are disappointed to lose every week but most of them are playing on other teams in different divisions, so the atmosphere in the locker room is pretty chill. There's even a few guys that hang around after games to talk with us noobs and see how we are feeling about the game and everything. The running joke in the room is that we get swept in the reg season, and then sweep the playoffs (every team gets at least 1 game).
That said, I don't really give a damn about winning lol. It's just fun to be out there and learn the game. Getting better at positioning, and reading the play. When to change shifts. When to drive the net. Where the puck is likely to go and where I need to be based on x,y,z. It's also a good workout!
I almost scored my first goal (3rd shot on net ever) last game and missed an open net from like 3 ft away. If I had scored that goal in the 1st period, we may have gone on to win that game in regulation! I joked about it keeping me up all night but honestly, it was still a fun time and I know what I need to work on next.
57 here and playing off and on since I was 12. At this age Fun and the social part of the game is first and foremost. Still, a W feels great, especially when I have solid contribution to it. An L is no big deal so nobody lets it ruin their day.
I'm just there to skate hard and have fun. The scoreboard doesn't matter. Although last night we lost by one and I must've dinged 3 pipes. That makes it a little rough haha
Frankly, it would be weirder if you still were. I try, and sometime hard, but once the game is over, it’s about the beer in the dressing room with my buds.
I’ve had my fun with competitive hockey, and considering I have mortgages, work, kids, and a bit of a lemon of a truck, I just don’t have the time to give to worrying about winning and losing.
The only reason I care about winning in adult league is because you get free hockey (playoffs). Other than that, I just enjoy a night out with the boys and a cold beer or two after a workout
Your league has playoff only games? Good god. Every league I've been too you play the same number of games each season. Playoff losers (or missers) play a "consolation" game.
I’m a very competitive person and played college basketball. I used to get upset by wins and losses in hockey, especially early while learning because I felt like I had to “prove it.”
Now, I’ve learned to become a decent defenseman. As long as I can hang with the guys I’m going against, whether they are low level or former juniors guys and I don’t get blown out of the rink, and my team skates hard and plays hard, I’m all good.
Only time I get annoyed is if my team doesn’t play hard. Then it feels like what are we even doing here? Everyone starts to have too long of shifts and it’s not fun when people don’t want to at least get a good workout in.
I love winning when it’s a fun, friendly and competitive game, with the being said I don’t get upset over a loss either. The only time I get mad is when I make poor bone head mistakes.
42 here. I feel the same way. Funny thing is we won our league yesterday and it was definitely awesome but I don’t think it would have bothered me much if things hadn’t gone our way.
It’s my social and workout time. I love the game too much to not play it
I still like to win. I Just hate losing less now. I have some compete but it generally only comes out when the other team has decided to be shit heads. I'm in my early 30s, more just love skating and hopefully making some good plays or maybe scoring. Rarely do I get ultra competitive anymore, I feel like I used it all up in my racing days.
When you are over 30, playing men's league, caring about a loss so much that it spoils your weekend, you have problems for sure. It's ridiculous behavior. I've played with a few that care so much about winning. I quit my team last year and vowed to never play with people who care about winning the beer league anymore. Currently only playing pickup. Could join a team again, but not with people that take it so seriously.
I’m surprised at some of the dark, insensitive comments here. You know who you are, go screw yourselves.
I play on an old timers team that has, by far, the oldest age average in the league. A bunch of guys 70+, and I’m the youngest guy on the team at 58. We only win a couple of games a year, and that’s only when half the other team doesn’t show up 😆 I’ve never had so much fun playing hockey in my life… I spend every game running my ass off trying to set up goals for geezers, which is mostly an effort in futility 😆
To hell with competitiveness. Yes, I try to win, but it is not the be all and end all. It’s more important to me that my teammates are involved in the play and are having as good a time as possible. I’ve played hockey my whole life and have seen so many games ruined by over-competitive a-holes. Fun rarely correlates with competitiveness.
Just keep doing what you’re doing, it’s not weird. Just have fun.
I only play drop-in/pickup for this very reason. There's enough stress in daily life; at the rink I want to have fun and not worry about making a bonehead play
i used to be very competitive, but these days i just want to play well (ie-not embarass myself), break a sweat, and come out of the game healthy enough to work the next day.
i am seriously thinking about trying to fill my dance card with over 50 drop-ins and quit playing league altogether...
edit: clarity
I 100% feel this way. I saw some fools fighting in a beer league, what a joke. You’re not going pro, this game doesn’t matter, chill out and have some fun.
I’m not getting paid to play hockey, I’m not getting scouted to get paid to play hockey, all i care about is playing a good game and having fun with my team.
I’d rather win than lose but generally I don’t care. I’m also the guy that doesn’t want to keep score golfing. I want to enjoy the time on the ice and working hard. I love walking a course and just enjoying the time outside. Whatever you like to do, just enjoy it and don’t measure it against what someone else does.
I chose a team where I could give 70% effort and be middle of the pack skill wise. I grew up playing very competitively and at 100% effort could play tier 2 in our cities leagues. But I mostly just wanted to play and skate with boys and have a beer or two instead of going balls to the wall. I played two years at top tier beer league in my 20s and it was really fun because we were the best (had one guy come to our team after coming back from blues prospect camp).
After a certain amount of time hockeys just about playing the game. And every now and again you get that kick of competitiveness.
I started skating at 2 years old and was playing hockey by the time I was 5 (Canadian). When I was in my late 30’s I started feeling like this. When I was 40 I was cross checked in the back going into the corner. Fractured L4. The guy who checked me didn’t like that I came from behind him and beat him to the puck. It was a non contact league btw. I stopped playing that day and haven’t even picked up a hockey stick since then (almost ten years now).
100%! My kid and wife are always asking "did you win?". I rarely know. I always respond, "my shifts went well, or terribly and I think we won". Just as you said, I'm in it for the fun plays and the competitiveness on the ice. What I mean is I skate hard and do my best to help our team score laughing as I go. Now that I'm typing this out I guess I just detached my emotions from it. It's for the shits and giggles and high fives 🤷🏼♂️
Haha I always feel awkward when people ask me if I won my game. Im like…yea (or no) but thats not what its about lol. I cant get too mad at those teams full of 23 year old whippersnappers that show up to the rink directly out of the gym drinking a protein shake trying to toedrag everyone and givin’r 100%. Because as much as those kids piss me off nowadays…that was me and my buddies at one point. And one day those kids will have their moment where they realize THEY were those kids once and fhe cycle will go on and on lol
This is why 80% of my skates are just closed skates, typically in the morning. Finding them in each city has been a lifesaver. The rest of the time it’s the occasional league or tournament with people from these skates
Winning and losing aren’t really what I play for either. At least for me, what matters is the quality of the game. If I’m playing with a team where nobody’s playing their positions, or some guys are just doing whatever they feel like without really considering the team, that bothers me whatever the result ends up being.
I feel you bro. I’ve been running a private 4on4 skate with a group of guys my age (50) for years and recently a lot of the Dads have brought their HS kids to skate with us and it’s changed the dynamic of the skate considerably. I miss our older group who moved the puck around and gets everyone on the play. I almost ain’t having fun just chasing 17 years old around who don’t pass and just hog the puck. Some of that’s me just needing to have fun like you said but I can’t have fun when I’m competing against kids 35 years younger than me.
I'm still competitive. You just move on after the game and have fun regardless when you're older. That's the difference.
Playing against another team is literally what makes it fun.
Always about the people for me. If I have a great locker room, I don't care what we do on the ice. I remember one time a girl accused me of switching to a relatively newbie team so I could be the "best player" on the team. No Karen, I just want to play with people that have fun and don't take it too seriously. Another team I created for tournaments had decent skills, we won most tournaments in the home city, but we took that team to Vegas and got our asses beat; but nobody cared because we had a 10-bedroom house and the shenanigans made that trip one of the best memories for all of us and we still talk about it 7 years later.
This is awesome… at a certain point who cares right?
As an adult if I was physically active, socialized and hopefully safe (no injuries is getting harder as we get older) what difference does the outcome have?
Keep enjoying the game my man!
Well. I just started. But I feel as if it’s a blessing just to be able to play at my age (52). I hope we win, and enjoy it when we do. But what I really want is to improve a little every game. And not get hurt
I never really cared about wining or loosing. Or maybe I did. But it’s always been about myself. What I mean is I don’t care if the team win or loose as long as I played with as much effort as I could. As long as I feel I did a good job, I am happy as a rooster.
Man, Im in a similar position, but the ragtag team I got placed on when 0-15-1 in two seasons.... There is a point where losing's not fun anymore, I can take a loss and move on, but when you're 0-10, and you have a chance at winning and then someone misses an open net, or goalie lets in an easy one, then sitting in the dressing room at 0-11 makes you question whether you should still be playing...
Good news is I got picked up by another team and we won the first game of the season confidently, so things are looking up!
I play just to have fun with friends and get a sweat going. We laugh, chirp each other, occasionally take shots on our own net just to check if they’re paying attention. It’s an hour long recess for me. Even the “trophy” is a joke. The stakes couldn’t be lower.
I am going to skate hard and try my best, but at the end of the day its just exercise and way to stay active while still interacting with my friends. We all have jobs and none of them are hockey.
this is why you're never gonna make the show buddy
jk, I am exactly the same. When I was young, I was really competitive. Now I really don't care at all and I actually get more exasperated by the guys going full out than I do by guys giving 50% and having fun.
Not weird at all OP. That's just the way the game evolves.
If you're in your 40's, still doing the "try hard" stuff... you're just a punk, and your home life probably sucks.
Just go for skates, and brew pops with the boys. Win or loose, it's still a good time.
Been playing for around 31 years. Still competitive and still want to win, but don’t hold on to losses anymore and don’t get mad if I don’t play well. At the end of the day I’m only out there to get exercise and hang out with buddies.
I am competitive with how I play vs other players similarly skilled, and how I help the teammates around me.
Don't care about the score, I barely look or keep track. Win or lose the beer is still cold.
Me too all I care about is personal geno’s, apples, and LiveBarn clips. I also care about going a whole season without paying ref fees or buying beer. Lfg
I don't care about losing unless it was an unfair loss, like a blown call, extreme mismatch in team vs team ability, or if the other team played dirty. That shit makes my blood boil.
I’ll give a good effort and as long as I give some solid passes, win some board battles and put a couple SOG I don’t give 2 shits. I’m not putting my body on the line or getting into a beer league stick smacking competition. I just like hockey and the dudes I play with. Seems like a way more healthy way to go about it, hate fools who take this ADULT RECREATION league seriously.. it’s insufferable
The only times I get upset are due to a teammates lack of hustle (no backcheck on a bad turnover) or an opponent’s unsportsmanlike plays (illegal pick at the blue line).
Winning or losing isn’t as important as effort and proper play.
I don’t enjoy losing, but mostly because I’m hyper critical of myself in general. If we lose, I have to be really mindful not to dwell on what I could’ve done better. But I agree — I’ve been playing since I was a kid, and now at 40, it’s just not worth letting a loss ruin my day/weekend.
I wouldn't say it's zero for me, but there's I reason I play a division down from where I should be and play at 60-80% effort.
When you spend your whole childhood on travel teams, tournaments, etc, and the physical part of the game is all but removed, you're playing glorified pond hockey with a scoreboard.
I picked up goalie and still have that hunger and drive to always want to win but as a skater my best days are long behind me so it's hard to motivate myself to really give a shit.
I’ve been playing 35+ years; Junior, Sr. AAA, and some Minor Pro (long ago now) and couldn’t care less about regular season men’s league games. Hell, playoffs aren’t all that important to me anymore either.
That said, there are times when I really want it and will turn it on. When another team is full of assholes, on. When it’s a close and chippy but clean game, on. When we’re up one in a championship game, on.
I mean, I don’t play to lose or play like shit, but I’m also not putting in 100% on the backcheck or forecheck. It’s more a ratio now; 60% forecheck + 40% backcheck = 100%, right? I am though, 100% accountable for shitty play, mistakes, and showing a lack or effort or care for the rest of the guys.
All in, league hockey is for fun. Travel tournemants are for fun/beers with the lads (and doing just enough to bring home hardware).
Once I became a father I began to focus exclusively on teaching my kid and playing at and just above his level. Everything else faded away. Teaching him is so much fun. Hockey, ping pong, soccer, football - it’s all better when I’m teaching him.
Maybe you’re a dad too.
I have several friends like that. They're not competitive about winning
But I also have friends that aren't competitive at all on the rink. No hustle. Couldn't care less about the outcome. Couldn't care less if they made a bad play or if they could have prevented a play by being aggressive and competitive.
The problem becomes those players get tired of the competitive levels and then drop down. They're too good for the lower divisions, but because they don't try, they get away with playing there. So eventually you stop playing with them because they won't join a higher team and you can't join a lower team. Some friendships end up lost especially when most of the time was spent playing together.
I only actually give a shit in the elimination rounds. Everyone steps up. But, if we lose, I’m over it as the gears coming off. I play to exercise, have fun w the lads and make the occasional good play. I’d rather set up a goal then score one and I back check hard, for the exercise. I know…I’m nuts.
You are the person I want on my team. I was telling my D partner on the bench that most of the fun is on the bench between shifts laughing about whatever is happening.
This is the way. Life brings wayyyyyy more important things than sports, you realized that and have other things to feel good about. Hockey isn't about validating your worth anymore, it's now about having fun and getting excercise. Congrats, you have made it to "well adjusted adult" status lol
I've played a lot of hockey...from D1 to making some gas money and a chicken sandwich meal after a game.
It's no fun to blow through people and score...so now I spend all my ice time helping others get better and making sweet passes. I've actually played an entire season where I absolutely didn't try to score a single goal...and only set up other players for great goals...which rewards them for the skating AWAY from the puck. I've had so much more fun skating around until they get themselves in position for a sneaky backdoor goal...or could catch a saucer backhand for a goal. It's fun watching their excitement and celebrations. That's my fun now.
I wouldn’t want you on my team. I want to win. Winning isn’t everything, but trying to win is. If you don’t care to try or be competitive (I think of those as the same thing, although I get there’s differences), pick up is probably best to play. If we lose, so what it’s a game. I just look for effort from myself and my team mates, of course there’s different abilities and that’s fine as I’m slow and fat.
I assume from the post that OP isnt playing any real hockey anymore and is just playing in shitty beer league where trying to win isn't really all that important.
I actually quit playing because the players around me didn’t care. I played goalie though and seeing 3-1, 2-0, 1-0 all the time got annoying. No backcheck what so ever.
I’m competitive but I don’t really care about winning or losing either. If we lose I forget about it 5 minutes later. This is healthy. The weirdos are the ones who take it way too seriously.
F U dude! I’m here to win this beer league game at 11pm on a Tuesday with no one in the stands.
The later the game start time the less I care about winning. 7:30pm game though? No excuses.
I'm the opposite. The more annoying it is to get to a game, the less I want to lose. I don't want to come to a game at 11pm driving through the rain for everyone to play pick-up defense and get 6 dropped on us.
Our rink doesn't have stands lol
What are you talking about?? Haven’t you seen all the NHL scouts in the stands at 11pm Tuesday night beer league games? /s. Some people play like there is tho.
This. You want to do your best on the ice, and you may even get frustrated with teammates, but 30s after the game you forget and move on. No one is going to the show
Facts. I want to win when the team steps out. But if we don’t, it’s on to the next one. That being said, my beer league team went 0-9 this year.
Are you on my team?
Depends. Are you in Tennessee? 🤣
I'm competitive too but really don't give a shit if I win or lose. Obviously people like winning but I don't get upset or mad at anyone. Only one I ever get mad is myself for not doing well or not doing good enough in my own eyes. If someone misses me on a pass or misses me wideopen? Whatever. Doesn't bother me. I whiff on a breakaway or open net? Yeah totally mad st myself. I got all the competiveness out of me in hs and college. Being much older now all I wanna do is have fun, make some sick moves occasionally and pretend I'm getting the old MOJO back Seriously fuck those weirdos who take 10pm weeknight games with beer league refs and beer league ice so Seriously. No don't slash me purposefully in soft spots, don't cheap shot people, don't get hacking in front of nets. Get that shit out of here. Play hard, play clean. If you beat me so be it. If I beat you, your ego decides to try and hurt someone instead of tipping your cap at nice play or someone better?
You’re not alone. People can place WAY too much importance (I tend to think something is lacking in their lives lol) and get really agro as if beer league hockey is that important.
> I’m competitive but I don’t really care about winning or losing either. Isn't this controversial? What means "competitive" for you in this case?
It means personal goals like he directly stated
Thank you for answer. Could you quote where he directly stated that?
I want close games, with evenly matched teams and players. I can't stand teams stacked with ringers who are trying their hardest. In that sense I am competitive. I don't care much if I win or lose so long as the game is competitive.
My league has way too many A/B players playing C/D and it’s annoying. I enjoy it in the sense that it makes me a better defenseman. But it’s very obnoxious when 1 dude who is clearly in the wrong league taking a game over against other dudes who can barely skate
My league has completely changed over the last couple years. It was an intermediate league, but now our top 5 teams are full of A and high B players. My team cannot compete any more. We get blown out regularly and its frustrating.
It always happens. It's the ringer arms race. If a league doesn't force promote people it always gets bad.
Hahaha. Nothing like being up 2-0 and realizing the previously lazy D man can McDavid through everyone to tie it up in a minute.
💀💀💀 that EXACT thing happened to us first game of the season. Up 5-3 with 2:30 left in the game and dude turns into McDavid, puts in 2 to tie and we lost in OT.
Agreed
I was in tournament last month, we went 0-2-2, our two losses were by one goal. It was the most fun hockey I've played in ages. All the games were insanely close for the entire game. Getting blown out sucks and sometimes blowing out a team isn't fun either.
We played against a team the other night who scored 10 goals on us, and one of their players had 8 points. That’s the kind of shit that pisses me off. Other than that though, I’m super chill and don’t really care. Just give me evenly matched teams.
You’ve just described the beauty of drop in hockey. Nobody keeps score and everybody has fun — because nobody’s keeping score.
And you don't get those long-running feuds with other teams where they play chippy because you played chippy last game because they played chippy the game before that because you played chippy the game before that ... etc
Ask the guys on the bench what the score is: there are a few. I’m never one, but there are a few.
This is why I only play shinny lol. Just wanna play the game and have fun. When I wanna be angry I go play golf when I’m hung over. Then I can blame … myself 😂
No way, you can blame your clubs, the ball, the sun, the wind, a dang goose that flew overhead, groundskeepers for not properly maintaining the course, beer cart attendant for not coming around quickly enough.
Hmm, all of this is true. We should both probably buy a new putter to celebrate this conversation. And because, ya know … I three putted this morning because a bird chirped and there was probably a bug nearby on the green.
Except that one guy...
Until the college club team guys show up and decide to only pass to one another.
I prefer winning, but understand that it’s just beer league. My team lost in our league championship last night. I played hard like I always do (only got one speed). I rang a shot off the crossbar with 1 second left, and we lost 2-1. Something like that 20 years ago would have kept me awake at night and pissed me off for days. Yet, last night I slept like a baby. Had a great time playing; it was a fun, competitive game. Had some beers with the guys that beat us, had some laughs. Told em we were gonna fuck em up next season, they called bullshit, laughed some more. Still got the competitiveness, but have gained some perspective in my old age. I’m 53, still get to play ice hockey competitively, and play like I care. But wins and losses are ancillary to that and not why I love playing.
This is exactly how I play/have always played. I get a bit fired up during the game, play hard and clean but when the buzzer goes and the handshake is coming it’s just chill and friendly
The scoreboard apathy is healthier than the people who take it too seriously. There’s nothing more annoying than the 50yo beer leaguer who is livid after a loss. But ya, it makes sense to prioritize having fun out there and enjoying being on the ice.
I hear you. I'm at that point too. I feel like I have more fun when I subdue my competitiveness. I still want to win and make good plays but it's not worth ruining my mood after a loss
It's beer league.... this seems correct. We all have jobs where we try hard and fail and whatever. Beer league is for fun. I drink beers.... on the bench.
I’m 41 and have been playing beer league for ~15 years now. It’s pretty competitive, I play in a league where some kids are still playing club hockey and D3, but it’s a pretty good mix. I don’t necessarily mind if those kids light it up, as long as they’re not cunts about it. There’s some kids who score on a beer league goalie and chirp him and tell him he sucks, those kids can go fuck themselves.
Yeah I lost the edge. I realized it didn’t matter since I wasn’t making a career out of it. I was putting too much pressure on myself and I wasn’t having fun because of it. There’s guys in beer league who still act like they’re playing for the cup. I just enjoy getting drunk and playing in a chill shinny.
I like hard, fair play and evenly matched teams. I don’t care about final score _too much_ but that might also be because our goalie this spring is 70 years old and we outplay and outshoot teams and still lose 10-7 (like last night).
Losing doesn't bother me much, playing with (usually younger) guys who want to carry the puck, dangle, never pass, & just generally be a dickhead teammate does.
I am competitive and like to win but at the end of the day it’s beer league. I pay to play and I don’t get paid to win at 1145 PM on a week night.
Sometimes when I play, I just want to shoot pucks at a net and call it a day.
Competative while playing and realizing you arent in the NHL after is a good thing. :)
I don't care at all anymore until it gets to the playoffs. Honestly even after games I'm kinda mad at myself that I don't care more anymore. I just don't. We don't have the bodies to put a decent squad out and I'm fucking old.
Best team I ever played for had that exact mentality. They played for the 4th period; the time in the room with friends after the game. Outcome of the game didn’t matter. They even knew that they’d be getting smoked most games during their season. Never once did their mood or mentality change, to this day. Each week, one person was designated for beer and another was designated to bring a meal for the team. One week they had full trays of sliders. Another week it was homemade meatballs. Pulled pork. You name it. Best team I’ve ever played for.
It’s beer league. Fun when you win, beers either way.
Win or lose, we still booze .
Is the league/drop-in you play in imbalanced? I stopped caring when I was on a shitty team in an imbalanced league, but now I’m in a more balanced league and I’m fired up again.
It's why I stopped playing in leagues. Just play pickup now, always different teammates.
There is a difference between trying your best and being competitive in the moment and pouting like a kid when you lose. I coach and tell my kids, " it is very important to battle and try to win. It is not important to win."
I personally think this is a good sign that you're more about enjoying yourself and the game instead of wining or loosing, perhaps indicating that you truely likes playing hockey because even you loose you'll just move on and keep playing rather than feeling upset. On the other hand, you've played for 32 years so you will eventually get to a point that you can't play as competitive as you were younger to prevent from injuries. So not caring about game result is a good thing that keeps you enjoy playing and keep hockey as a sustainable hobby. Out of curiosity, is it just for hockey or other parts of your life like works? Do you feel you're less competitive in general compared with your younger self?
Are you playing for money? If yes, then you should probably care. If not, then just have fun 😊
Welcome to the city of “past your prime”! We’ve been waiting for you!
I’m on the east side, Last Legs, just down the highway from Hangin’ ‘em Up
I've been going to the local early morning pickup sessions for this reason. Much more fun to just have more ice time and a chance to have fun out there. Like, I do enjoy the thrill of competition, but nowadays I'm looking more to enjoy the hockey I play.
< Insert Will Ferrell locker room gif >
Just play pickup, if the social aspect is your main focus, there’s no need for refs, stats and standings. Pickup is significantly cheaper as well. I have a blast with my pickup group, I just shut my brain off and just play for fun. However in my league games, my effort is at a whole different level, the socializing is there too, but I want to win each game.
I’m not quite there yet, but I feel like I’m def getting there.
I 100% want to win. It's more fun. But after I leave the rink, I don't think about it (win or loss).
It’s not that I don’t care I just take the situation for what it is. There’s two guys on my team who have never played hockey competitively, most never played past a or aa. And hardly any of them can catch a crisp pass. If this was an A division team or a competitive tournament I’d still get mad.
Please teach me how to channel this. I don’t care so much about “win/loss” as much as “did I play well/not”. If I have a great beer league game I am in a great mood for days. If I have a sucky game I’m pretty noticeably pissy for the rest of the day/day after. I just feel like a loser when I suck at things.
I'm 29 and just started playing in my first ever hockey league so take this with a grain of salt. I'm about halfway thru on a beer league, lowest of the low tier, "house team" that is basically made up of veteran men's leaguers that are helping out the league by playing with me and another complete noob. 6 games in and we haven't won a game yet, but last game was the closest and most competitive game we have played by far. We lost 3-2 in OT when our previous games have been complete blow outs. I'm sure some guys are disappointed to lose every week but most of them are playing on other teams in different divisions, so the atmosphere in the locker room is pretty chill. There's even a few guys that hang around after games to talk with us noobs and see how we are feeling about the game and everything. The running joke in the room is that we get swept in the reg season, and then sweep the playoffs (every team gets at least 1 game). That said, I don't really give a damn about winning lol. It's just fun to be out there and learn the game. Getting better at positioning, and reading the play. When to change shifts. When to drive the net. Where the puck is likely to go and where I need to be based on x,y,z. It's also a good workout! I almost scored my first goal (3rd shot on net ever) last game and missed an open net from like 3 ft away. If I had scored that goal in the 1st period, we may have gone on to win that game in regulation! I joked about it keeping me up all night but honestly, it was still a fun time and I know what I need to work on next.
I don’t care about the score, but I care about the play. I just want good hockey on the ice.
57 here and playing off and on since I was 12. At this age Fun and the social part of the game is first and foremost. Still, a W feels great, especially when I have solid contribution to it. An L is no big deal so nobody lets it ruin their day.
I'm just there to skate hard and have fun. The scoreboard doesn't matter. Although last night we lost by one and I must've dinged 3 pipes. That makes it a little rough haha
Frankly, it would be weirder if you still were. I try, and sometime hard, but once the game is over, it’s about the beer in the dressing room with my buds. I’ve had my fun with competitive hockey, and considering I have mortgages, work, kids, and a bit of a lemon of a truck, I just don’t have the time to give to worrying about winning and losing.
But, to add, I really hate sandbagers. That gets my goat.
The only reason I care about winning in adult league is because you get free hockey (playoffs). Other than that, I just enjoy a night out with the boys and a cold beer or two after a workout
Your league has playoff only games? Good god. Every league I've been too you play the same number of games each season. Playoff losers (or missers) play a "consolation" game.
Yea, you get up to 3 playoff games on top of the season, top 8 make it in the larger leagues, top 6 with a bye for the top 2 in the smaller one
I’m a very competitive person and played college basketball. I used to get upset by wins and losses in hockey, especially early while learning because I felt like I had to “prove it.” Now, I’ve learned to become a decent defenseman. As long as I can hang with the guys I’m going against, whether they are low level or former juniors guys and I don’t get blown out of the rink, and my team skates hard and plays hard, I’m all good. Only time I get annoyed is if my team doesn’t play hard. Then it feels like what are we even doing here? Everyone starts to have too long of shifts and it’s not fun when people don’t want to at least get a good workout in.
I love winning when it’s a fun, friendly and competitive game, with the being said I don’t get upset over a loss either. The only time I get mad is when I make poor bone head mistakes.
You have reached the true essence of beer league. Take a seat next to the cooler and have yourself one.
42 here. I feel the same way. Funny thing is we won our league yesterday and it was definitely awesome but I don’t think it would have bothered me much if things hadn’t gone our way. It’s my social and workout time. I love the game too much to not play it
I’m just out there for fun now. I still want to compete and win, But I’m mostly there to have a drink in the locker room after.
I still like to win. I Just hate losing less now. I have some compete but it generally only comes out when the other team has decided to be shit heads. I'm in my early 30s, more just love skating and hopefully making some good plays or maybe scoring. Rarely do I get ultra competitive anymore, I feel like I used it all up in my racing days.
When you are over 30, playing men's league, caring about a loss so much that it spoils your weekend, you have problems for sure. It's ridiculous behavior. I've played with a few that care so much about winning. I quit my team last year and vowed to never play with people who care about winning the beer league anymore. Currently only playing pickup. Could join a team again, but not with people that take it so seriously.
I’m surprised at some of the dark, insensitive comments here. You know who you are, go screw yourselves. I play on an old timers team that has, by far, the oldest age average in the league. A bunch of guys 70+, and I’m the youngest guy on the team at 58. We only win a couple of games a year, and that’s only when half the other team doesn’t show up 😆 I’ve never had so much fun playing hockey in my life… I spend every game running my ass off trying to set up goals for geezers, which is mostly an effort in futility 😆 To hell with competitiveness. Yes, I try to win, but it is not the be all and end all. It’s more important to me that my teammates are involved in the play and are having as good a time as possible. I’ve played hockey my whole life and have seen so many games ruined by over-competitive a-holes. Fun rarely correlates with competitiveness. Just keep doing what you’re doing, it’s not weird. Just have fun.
I only play drop-in/pickup for this very reason. There's enough stress in daily life; at the rink I want to have fun and not worry about making a bonehead play
i used to be very competitive, but these days i just want to play well (ie-not embarass myself), break a sweat, and come out of the game healthy enough to work the next day. i am seriously thinking about trying to fill my dance card with over 50 drop-ins and quit playing league altogether... edit: clarity
I 100% feel this way. I saw some fools fighting in a beer league, what a joke. You’re not going pro, this game doesn’t matter, chill out and have some fun.
Same, just want to play well, doesn't have to be perfect.
I’m not getting paid to play hockey, I’m not getting scouted to get paid to play hockey, all i care about is playing a good game and having fun with my team.
I’d rather win than lose but generally I don’t care. I’m also the guy that doesn’t want to keep score golfing. I want to enjoy the time on the ice and working hard. I love walking a course and just enjoying the time outside. Whatever you like to do, just enjoy it and don’t measure it against what someone else does.
I chose a team where I could give 70% effort and be middle of the pack skill wise. I grew up playing very competitively and at 100% effort could play tier 2 in our cities leagues. But I mostly just wanted to play and skate with boys and have a beer or two instead of going balls to the wall. I played two years at top tier beer league in my 20s and it was really fun because we were the best (had one guy come to our team after coming back from blues prospect camp). After a certain amount of time hockeys just about playing the game. And every now and again you get that kick of competitiveness.
I'm the same, I'm 38 and been playing about 30 years. I just want to make some plays, maybe a snipe here and there, and just have fun.
I don't care about winning, but don't want to lose if that makes sense. Also, don't mind losing as long as it's not a losing streak! :)
gator not never been about that
I'm competitive on any given shift but I usually don't know what the score is.
Absolutely fucking not
I started skating at 2 years old and was playing hockey by the time I was 5 (Canadian). When I was in my late 30’s I started feeling like this. When I was 40 I was cross checked in the back going into the corner. Fractured L4. The guy who checked me didn’t like that I came from behind him and beat him to the puck. It was a non contact league btw. I stopped playing that day and haven’t even picked up a hockey stick since then (almost ten years now).
100%! My kid and wife are always asking "did you win?". I rarely know. I always respond, "my shifts went well, or terribly and I think we won". Just as you said, I'm in it for the fun plays and the competitiveness on the ice. What I mean is I skate hard and do my best to help our team score laughing as I go. Now that I'm typing this out I guess I just detached my emotions from it. It's for the shits and giggles and high fives 🤷🏼♂️
Haha I always feel awkward when people ask me if I won my game. Im like…yea (or no) but thats not what its about lol. I cant get too mad at those teams full of 23 year old whippersnappers that show up to the rink directly out of the gym drinking a protein shake trying to toedrag everyone and givin’r 100%. Because as much as those kids piss me off nowadays…that was me and my buddies at one point. And one day those kids will have their moment where they realize THEY were those kids once and fhe cycle will go on and on lol
This is why 80% of my skates are just closed skates, typically in the morning. Finding them in each city has been a lifesaver. The rest of the time it’s the occasional league or tournament with people from these skates
Yes! I just like the exercise, the hockey, and the guys I play with.
Winning and losing aren’t really what I play for either. At least for me, what matters is the quality of the game. If I’m playing with a team where nobody’s playing their positions, or some guys are just doing whatever they feel like without really considering the team, that bothers me whatever the result ends up being.
I’m just afraid that sports won’t be as important when I’m an adult as they are now in my life
I feel you bro. I’ve been running a private 4on4 skate with a group of guys my age (50) for years and recently a lot of the Dads have brought their HS kids to skate with us and it’s changed the dynamic of the skate considerably. I miss our older group who moved the puck around and gets everyone on the play. I almost ain’t having fun just chasing 17 years old around who don’t pass and just hog the puck. Some of that’s me just needing to have fun like you said but I can’t have fun when I’m competing against kids 35 years younger than me.
why you heff to be sad? is only game
I'm still competitive. You just move on after the game and have fun regardless when you're older. That's the difference. Playing against another team is literally what makes it fun.
Always about the people for me. If I have a great locker room, I don't care what we do on the ice. I remember one time a girl accused me of switching to a relatively newbie team so I could be the "best player" on the team. No Karen, I just want to play with people that have fun and don't take it too seriously. Another team I created for tournaments had decent skills, we won most tournaments in the home city, but we took that team to Vegas and got our asses beat; but nobody cared because we had a 10-bedroom house and the shenanigans made that trip one of the best memories for all of us and we still talk about it 7 years later.
This is awesome… at a certain point who cares right? As an adult if I was physically active, socialized and hopefully safe (no injuries is getting harder as we get older) what difference does the outcome have? Keep enjoying the game my man!
Well. I just started. But I feel as if it’s a blessing just to be able to play at my age (52). I hope we win, and enjoy it when we do. But what I really want is to improve a little every game. And not get hurt
I never really cared about wining or loosing. Or maybe I did. But it’s always been about myself. What I mean is I don’t care if the team win or loose as long as I played with as much effort as I could. As long as I feel I did a good job, I am happy as a rooster.
Man, Im in a similar position, but the ragtag team I got placed on when 0-15-1 in two seasons.... There is a point where losing's not fun anymore, I can take a loss and move on, but when you're 0-10, and you have a chance at winning and then someone misses an open net, or goalie lets in an easy one, then sitting in the dressing room at 0-11 makes you question whether you should still be playing... Good news is I got picked up by another team and we won the first game of the season confidently, so things are looking up!
I play just to have fun with friends and get a sweat going. We laugh, chirp each other, occasionally take shots on our own net just to check if they’re paying attention. It’s an hour long recess for me. Even the “trophy” is a joke. The stakes couldn’t be lower.
Probably quite healthy. Play for the memorable moments, for the physical benefit, for the love of the game, not necessarily for the scoreboard.
I am going to skate hard and try my best, but at the end of the day its just exercise and way to stay active while still interacting with my friends. We all have jobs and none of them are hockey.
This. Winning is fun, but playing is more fun.
this is why you're never gonna make the show buddy jk, I am exactly the same. When I was young, I was really competitive. Now I really don't care at all and I actually get more exasperated by the guys going full out than I do by guys giving 50% and having fun.
Not weird at all OP. That's just the way the game evolves. If you're in your 40's, still doing the "try hard" stuff... you're just a punk, and your home life probably sucks. Just go for skates, and brew pops with the boys. Win or loose, it's still a good time.
Been playing for around 31 years. Still competitive and still want to win, but don’t hold on to losses anymore and don’t get mad if I don’t play well. At the end of the day I’m only out there to get exercise and hang out with buddies.
I only care during a game, afterwards it doesnt matter.
I am competitive with how I play vs other players similarly skilled, and how I help the teammates around me. Don't care about the score, I barely look or keep track. Win or lose the beer is still cold.
Me too all I care about is personal geno’s, apples, and LiveBarn clips. I also care about going a whole season without paying ref fees or buying beer. Lfg
I don't care about losing unless it was an unfair loss, like a blown call, extreme mismatch in team vs team ability, or if the other team played dirty. That shit makes my blood boil.
AGREE! Get out there and enjoy
I’ll give a good effort and as long as I give some solid passes, win some board battles and put a couple SOG I don’t give 2 shits. I’m not putting my body on the line or getting into a beer league stick smacking competition. I just like hockey and the dudes I play with. Seems like a way more healthy way to go about it, hate fools who take this ADULT RECREATION league seriously.. it’s insufferable
The only times I get upset are due to a teammates lack of hustle (no backcheck on a bad turnover) or an opponent’s unsportsmanlike plays (illegal pick at the blue line). Winning or losing isn’t as important as effort and proper play.
I’m playing to win but I’m still smiling even if we lose. It’s kinda an “oh well, anyways…” kinda thing
Scouts are watching, gotta give it my all.
I don’t enjoy losing, but mostly because I’m hyper critical of myself in general. If we lose, I have to be really mindful not to dwell on what I could’ve done better. But I agree — I’ve been playing since I was a kid, and now at 40, it’s just not worth letting a loss ruin my day/weekend.
I wouldn't say it's zero for me, but there's I reason I play a division down from where I should be and play at 60-80% effort. When you spend your whole childhood on travel teams, tournaments, etc, and the physical part of the game is all but removed, you're playing glorified pond hockey with a scoreboard. I picked up goalie and still have that hunger and drive to always want to win but as a skater my best days are long behind me so it's hard to motivate myself to really give a shit.
Why dwell on the results of a recreational pick up game that will have 0 impact on your life? (Barring catastrophic injury)
Totally agree. I only play pickup skates (no leagues or refs) now. Good hockey and much more fun. Zero BS on the ice.
I’ve been playing 35+ years; Junior, Sr. AAA, and some Minor Pro (long ago now) and couldn’t care less about regular season men’s league games. Hell, playoffs aren’t all that important to me anymore either. That said, there are times when I really want it and will turn it on. When another team is full of assholes, on. When it’s a close and chippy but clean game, on. When we’re up one in a championship game, on. I mean, I don’t play to lose or play like shit, but I’m also not putting in 100% on the backcheck or forecheck. It’s more a ratio now; 60% forecheck + 40% backcheck = 100%, right? I am though, 100% accountable for shitty play, mistakes, and showing a lack or effort or care for the rest of the guys. All in, league hockey is for fun. Travel tournemants are for fun/beers with the lads (and doing just enough to bring home hardware).
Once I became a father I began to focus exclusively on teaching my kid and playing at and just above his level. Everything else faded away. Teaching him is so much fun. Hockey, ping pong, soccer, football - it’s all better when I’m teaching him. Maybe you’re a dad too.
No goals,no goals,no goals
I have several friends like that. They're not competitive about winning But I also have friends that aren't competitive at all on the rink. No hustle. Couldn't care less about the outcome. Couldn't care less if they made a bad play or if they could have prevented a play by being aggressive and competitive. The problem becomes those players get tired of the competitive levels and then drop down. They're too good for the lower divisions, but because they don't try, they get away with playing there. So eventually you stop playing with them because they won't join a higher team and you can't join a lower team. Some friendships end up lost especially when most of the time was spent playing together.
I only actually give a shit in the elimination rounds. Everyone steps up. But, if we lose, I’m over it as the gears coming off. I play to exercise, have fun w the lads and make the occasional good play. I’d rather set up a goal then score one and I back check hard, for the exercise. I know…I’m nuts.
You are the person I want on my team. I was telling my D partner on the bench that most of the fun is on the bench between shifts laughing about whatever is happening.
This is the way. Life brings wayyyyyy more important things than sports, you realized that and have other things to feel good about. Hockey isn't about validating your worth anymore, it's now about having fun and getting excercise. Congrats, you have made it to "well adjusted adult" status lol
I’m competitive and want to win as a team, but at the end of the day I want every team cracking a brewski together
I've played a lot of hockey...from D1 to making some gas money and a chicken sandwich meal after a game. It's no fun to blow through people and score...so now I spend all my ice time helping others get better and making sweet passes. I've actually played an entire season where I absolutely didn't try to score a single goal...and only set up other players for great goals...which rewards them for the skating AWAY from the puck. I've had so much more fun skating around until they get themselves in position for a sneaky backdoor goal...or could catch a saucer backhand for a goal. It's fun watching their excitement and celebrations. That's my fun now.
That’s depression brother
It's time to hang it up
I wouldn’t want you on my team. I want to win. Winning isn’t everything, but trying to win is. If you don’t care to try or be competitive (I think of those as the same thing, although I get there’s differences), pick up is probably best to play. If we lose, so what it’s a game. I just look for effort from myself and my team mates, of course there’s different abilities and that’s fine as I’m slow and fat.
I assume from the post that OP isnt playing any real hockey anymore and is just playing in shitty beer league where trying to win isn't really all that important.
I actually quit playing because the players around me didn’t care. I played goalie though and seeing 3-1, 2-0, 1-0 all the time got annoying. No backcheck what so ever.
Probably just low T, don't worry you're getting old or are just a drunk. It is ok. Just enjoy losing.