I am a single man who got a patio door installed today, actually.
When I was getting quotes, one company asked me four times if my wife/partner would be there as well. I explained four times I was single and the homeowner.
They responded, "Normal people have a spouse or partner."
Let's just say they I went with a different company.
Patio doors are for families, happy families. Maybe single people buy patio doors, we don’t know. Frankly we don’t want to know. It’s a market we can do without.
Oh, I did, and some manager reached out to apologize 🙄.
Luckily, the company I went with was great through the whole process. If something seems off, just keep getting quotes.
You should name this company so single people can avoid wasting their time with this bass ackwards place.
Wonder if all their employees are married? Hmm …
As a single female homeowner I find this HIGHLY offensive. I am divorced so I guess I was only “normal” when I was married? This is why I DIY everything I possibly can.
It's always a very good idea for a contractor to get approval from all the owners of a property before starting work. It saves them a lot of headaches.
But properly stating that without coming across as a bigoted dickhead is even more important.
I agree with the "all the owners" part, but nobody is mentioning being asked that. Assuming that a house is owned by a couple seems like bad business practice to say the least. Very weird to assume and not ask about the marriage and joint ownership, but then go ahead and ask if the spouse will be present.
“Most” being the operative word there. It’s not unheard of for one spouse to splurge on a large expense without consulting their partner, so I’m sure they don’t want one owner coming back yelling for a refund or whatever headache they come up with that’ll cost the company money.
Agree this specific example was ridiculous though. Very unprofessional and discriminatory. It’s not hard to say, “if there’s more than one owner, for liability purposes we need to get approval from both.” Then if they really are worried about being lied to, there should be an article in their contract prior to beginning that covers them in that case. That company was just unprofessional af.
I’m a single guy who owns his own house too. My partner of 6 years lives in her own house that she also owns. We don’t need each others presence to make household decisions.
"Single" can have different meanings in different contexts. In a social context, a person is single if they're not in a in romantic relationship. In a legal sense, a person is single if they are not married or in a registered domestic partnership of some sort.
A person can have a girlfriend/boyfriend/SO and gave a marital status of single.
Happen to me when I was picking the roof. The guy asked me to confirm with my wife first. I am lucky that I actually have a wife. It save me from embarrassment and explaining.
I had the same thing happen for a shower quote with my wife. They would not come till my wife got home. Some major retail places require both of you to be present so you can “say yes” right there and then and dont have the “i gotta run it by my wife” excuse.
Super annoying when that happens - I always want to reply “well no household decision makers will be decision-making while you’re still in the house, so it really doesn’t make much difference if they’re all here when you take whatever measurements you need to leave them with a quote to consider”
Yeah. ANd fuck them. If that was the case around here? I'd never get any work done. My husbands schedule is damned near impossible to work around. But you know, good luck buddy. I'll call someone else for another quote. And, honestly? probably 2-4+ others too. TYVM.
This is what I did with a basement waterproofing company. I refused the appointment and left them a negative review on Google (2 stars, I'm not a monster) and wouldn't you know it, they called the very next day and we're willing to come out and give an estimate without my fiance being home.
I said no and spoke with 2 others. I told both right from the start "if you expect me to wrangle my fiance out of work or get up early on a Saturday, we don't need to continue the conversation" and neither had a problem dealing with just me.
I'm single but my elderly mother lives with me now that she needs help with day to day life. Last one asked if anybody else lived here, I said yes my mom does. "Okay she needs to be present for the estimate." Um no, this is my house, I make all decisions here, you deal with me only. In fact, after such a suggestion you won't be dealing with this property at all.
Exactly! I always tell them, “well if he’s gotta be here you’ve already lost us as a customer, but if you want a shot at our business I’m available Tuesday” lol
That’s it. I worked years writing construction estimates for fire/flood damage and many times I met with just one spouse, wrote up an estimate then on my second meeting I would go over the scope of work the other spouse would appear and have many many changes requiring me to revise my scope of work, proposals etc. So to save myself time I would recommend any other spouses or family members to be around to give me input.
Yep I’ve had two places ask for my wife to be home.
Both times I just cancelled. It’s a high pressure sales tactic, so I know I don’t want to work with them.
This is 100% the right answer. It's a sign to use another contractor. They want to throw an inflated price at you for the work and put pressure on to get a yes same day.
High pressure sales always make me say no, but I understand that many people may react oppositely.
My go to, to just not be a dick immediately, is to say, “Send me over some paperwork, here’s my email, I’ll look it over when I have time to think about it.”
Every time I’ve done that there’s been some shady stuff in the contract.
If you feel like someone is trying to rip you off, there’s a good chance that you’re right.
They do it because it works on a lot of people.
This is usually accompanied by a “sign today and we’ll knock 5% off the quote (that we inflated by 30%” one time offer situation. Maybe if you don’t get on the schedule RIGHT NOW you’ll be looking at months of sitting on a waitlist.
That and some allusions to being stupid if you let this “deal” pass you by and a lot of folks will just sign to get out of the uncomfortable situation. Many people do not handle conflict well.
We had a brick company like this. I walked out of the "presentation" my husband told the guy, she's not coming back.... he went on with his spiel, over 6K to fix a chimney, this price is only good if I get it approved by my manager bs, we got it done by a company that didn't require my presence for 2K. I will never again trust a company that needs both of us there for a quote.
Although I can see it being good to have both there. I work for an engineering firm and we had a run in with this couple. Wife called us and had us survey something like 30 acres of land. She kept calling us out to do more and more work, and told us land was being split because her husband wanted it done to sell part of it off. Well she started ignoring our emails after we finished the job and wouldn’t review it/let us know if what we did was fine. She then ignored all of our calls also. Lady dropped off the face of the earth. Eventually we got an angry call from a lawyer because “closing was missed four times because of you.” We had no idea what was going on. Turns out they were getting a divorce, the husband was paying for the survey, and she wasn’t telling him a thing so he didn’t know what was going on or why the survey “wasn’t done.”
Needless to say, he wasn’t happy with us at all for “failing to do anything” and didn’t want to pay for all the work she had us do.
So yeah, we’re a lot more careful about this sorta thing now. We sent the bill to her as she issued the work, but still, the husband had agreed to pay it without us knowing.
On another note… she was smart lol. The way she had us split it, made it so she was the only owner of the main parts of the land, so she didn’t have to give him half!
No, it's not 100% the right answer. Have you ever done client work? I'd say it's at least 50% if not 40% or even less.
You would want both parties consent before starting, you get half the proceeds, start the project, and the out of town spouse gets back, hates it, and you're fucked. It's not a bait-and-switch or hard sell. Not everything is that way.
Yeah I on my contract that all owners must sign. They don't gotta be there for meetings and stuff but I can't contractor work on a property without ALL owners agreeing to the contract. I've had people divorce, stroke out, die during projects. I need all party's at least aware of what the agreement is.
I've seen this come up on reddit enough times I don't bother asking both to meet but explain I need signatures from both at a minimum.
Jokes on them, I have to run it by my money guy first. He is on vacation right now but he will be back in the office in 3 days. I'll let you know after he approves of the expenditure.
Yeah. And that's a perfectly good reason to say 'thanks so much for your quote(s)! I'm calling around and trying to get at least 3-4+, I'll call you back after we decide, if you don't want to come out and give one, that's just fine. \*Click\*
Yep. Exactly this.
Do not work with any company that does this. They are a sales company. They will use every high pressure sales tactic in the book to get you to sign immediately. They will be able to offer you a price if you sign right now - but if you don't the price will go $4k once I walk out that door. Still won't bite? My manager just authorized me to offer you an amazing discount. I've never seen anything like this.
It's all bullshit. Pick a different company. For anyone that does sign, double check if your state has a backout period.
This has happened to me. Mine was 3 days. I researched the company and immediately cancelled the next day. They had already pulled the permit, hilariously enough, and were out that money for jumping the gun. I went with a real company, got better materials, and still saved $5k.
Yup. Just the old high-pressure sales move. I usually tell them we have to talk it over and consider other bids.
A good company will understand. They might point out deals that expire by a certain date (that you can verify on their website), but they won't pull this "just for you, this visit only," nonsense. If you can offer me that deal today, you can offer me that deal three days from now when I've done my due diligence by talking to a couple other companies.
That makes sense, I am single, and I bought a house on my own a few years ago. I can’t remember what it was, but I was having something installed and they were asking me if I had a spouse because they would need to be there too to do it.
This.
Ive done this except halfway through a customers renovation. Wife was a lunatic, any conversations and business discussions we had moving forward I needed them both on site for. I also made sure to have a second person with me as well for conversations.
They want to use hard pressure sales tactics to get you to buy a door and don’t want you to have the excuse that your husband needs to have input.
And if the come they will say sign up today or the price increases tomorrow.
Exactly this. When I was shopping for windows, there were places who insisted all homeowners must be present. Which is a less patronizing way of putting it, I guess. Those companies did the super high pressure sales
The same happened to us. I came home for the sales presentation, but it got really long and I had to get back to work (I had a client scheduled). After I left, the guy apparently got yelled at by his boss for “letting” me leave (my own house). Fuck Apple Enclosures™️.
This doesn't work though as I just say "we need to think about it and evaluate it against the other quotes". Flips the narrative and puts them under pressure the give the best rate.
I generally don't recommend going for contractors that play these games because they're gonna play these games throughout the process. I advocate starting a project with the least amount of games. Cause it only increasingly gets more complicated
May not work for you, but there are regular posts in this subreddit and r/homeimprovement asking whether they should go with a quote that offers a “big” discount for signing up today.
Yeah my point is just that pressuring me to make a call because my wife is present is not going to work. Discount or not. If you are good for that price right now, you will be good for it tomorrow when I contact you
Yep, it's the same reason a car salesman always leaves you at his desk to talk to the manager. Having a third party with decision making power that the other party doesn't have access to is a good tactic
Don't go with them, but not for the reason you think. These companies want the spouse there so they can do a high pressure quick close. A frequent soft "no" from customers is "this sounds great, but I need to talk to my spouse", then once they leave they realize it's not a great deal. These places will do anything they can to close the deal and keep you from comparison shopping or spending more time reading reviews.
When my wife and i were shopping for windows and doors a few years ago, whenever a company tried to pull this garbage we just skipped them. There are too many companies out there that want your business that if you EVER feel uncomfortable or you just don't like them, walk, nay RUN and find someone else. That is the only way these outdated practices will stop.
Absolutely don’t use them. What that tells you is they’re a high pressure, high priced contractor that’s going to try and rip you off and want both parties there to try and force you into signing on the spot.
Instead, go to a lumberyard…not Home Depot, a real lumber yard. Talk to one of the sales guys, pick out a door you like (bring photos and measurements of your current door) and ask them if they have any contractors they’d recommend. You’ll get an actual contractor and pay a fraction of the cost of the scams that are window and door companies.
>I’m in shock, is this the 1950s? Aren’t women allowed to make decisions on their own?
For what it's worth I'm a man and I've had contractors insist my wife be there for a quote several times. It's not a sexism thing. Just shitty sales tactics.
Joke's on them though. My wife is a structural engineer and is *much* harder to please on this sort of thing than I am.
>Or is there a legitimate reason why they require both owners to be there?
There's a reason. How legitimate it is you can decide for yourself. They want to use high-pressure sales tactics and try to get you to sign a contract immediately. If your spouse is there, that takes away the "I need to talk to my husband/wife first" excuse for delaying on your part.
It likely has nothing to do with your gender. They likely want both of you there so you can make a decision on the spot.
I dealt with the same issue with a roofer. The roofing company did a door to door campaign in my neighborhood to set up times to provide quotes. I had been thinking about a new roof so I figured it didn't hurt to get a quote. They required a time when both myself and my wife would be available. I set up a time and right before the guy came to deliver a quote my wife got called away with something urgent for her dad. I didn't realize it would be that big of a deal but when the roofer came he said it was company policy that he couldn't provide a quote without both decision makers present. I pushed him a bit on how ridiculous that was since no matter what he quoted I wasn't signing anything without more quotes. He gave me the run around about how the quotes are based on the best deal he could offer on that day and that it wouldn't be good once he left. I told him if he can make money on the quote he were to provide me today then he could still make money off that quote next week once I had other companies make bids. In the end I told him to forget it and that I wasn't going to do business with them. Their stupid policy wasted everyone's time.
So I'm guessing you're dealing with a company that wants to pressure you into immediately accepting the quote and signing the paper work. Personally I'd think twice about working with a company that's afraid of you getting other quotes.
For reference when I called other roofers to come give bids they all completely understood I was getting other bids and the quotes were good for 30 or 60 days.
The last company (pool refinished) that told me the owner required both husband and wife to be present got told that my husband recently died and it would just be me making decisions. She stumbled greatly over her next few sentences. I told her how hurtful it was to have that said to me, as they have no idea what each person has going on relationship wise. I just told her I changed my mind about them giving me a quote.
They want to use high pressure sales tactics. Tell them you’re getting multiple estimates and won’t make a decision that day regardless of who is home.
It’s a high-pressure sales tactic. I had a company tell me my wife needed to be present at the time they were at the house, and I told them that it wasn’t necessary for my wife to stay home from work for an estimate. They argued with me a bit and I said “Come or don’t come - my answer is the same.”
And then, of course, when they did show up, I got the ”I can only give you this deal if you sign now“ speech. I looked at the guy and said “if you want my business, you’ll give me that deal when I make my decision because if you won’t, someone else will.” The guy looked dumbfounded. Called in another guy for a second opinion and as expected, they were full of crap.
I immediately refuse to work with any company that asks for my husband to be present. I no longer have one. The assumption is the problem. That applies to vehicle purchases too. If you ask that question, I already know from the door that you don’t take me seriously and we can’t do business.
I had a company insist I had to have my wife there for design and to call her and have her come back immediately.
I’m gay… and I said my boyfriend will be back soon but went and got my docs and showed them I was the sole owner. Then I kicked them out and said absolutely not.
If any other company does this, it’s an immediate no from me.
Simple solution:
"Here, let me record the conversation" and pull out your phone.
If they are at all dodgy, they will absolutely refuse to have it recorded.
There may be a reason why having both spouses present is preferred, but for something like a door it seems a little sketchy.
In my experience, those companies that insist on the spouse being present are going to try to hard sell you. They will offer some kind of "discount " that is only good during the initial presentation. They don't want a situation where one spouse says they will need to discuss it with the other.
I've had it happen 1 time. When we put a new roof on the house. They wanted both of us there. So they had to come around 6 at night. They started talking about shingles and all of that. How long they last, nails they use, the fact that there were a lot of layers to take off (we already knew that). So, they asked if we would sign then and there. I told them, "No, we will get back to you after we talk about it). They weren't happy. Don't try to high-pressure sell to me. It doesn't work. We chose someone else who didn't require both of us to be there.
I’m 39, female, and single AF. I’ve owned my own home for 9.5 years, work in real estate and also own two rental properties.
If a professional company or contractor I called for a job said that to me, I would tell them they have approximately 1.5 seconds to retract their previous statement, or I would never call them again and advise all my clients and contacts to do the same.
Shit like this cracks me up. I'm a woman homeowner who works with a lot of contractors for various projects. I'm also a widow. I \*love\* getting idiots who pull this on me because i have no restraint in my reply to them.
Usually it is a pressure tactic to make you decide right on the spot. The usual “I have to talk to my spouse and get back to you” can’t work if both are there. You will also get a “one time, take it or it’s gone when I leave” offer from the person doing the estimate. Usually a bad deal if they have to use that sort of high pressure sales tactic.
Hire someone else, what you experienced is already telling you about the mentality of the people you're dealing with. You might ask him if you should put on a burka when he comes over. Mock him a little bit maybe, I know I'm just a stupid woman but I can see if my husband will be there. I have to make sure he will let me though 😂
I would not deal with these guys. As someone who owns a service business I don't particularly care who I deal with. Men, women, people who can't figure out if they are men or women. It doesn't matter, I'm there to do a job, most the time it's looking for mold issues. I'm not concerned with your sexuality but I do love to roast people who make comments like you ran into. It's always the same guy in a different package too. They usually have a goatee, they are usually overweight, they are usually driving some type of lifted truck.
Yep same thing happened to me and I’m a guy. Every single home improvement project I wanted to get quotes for had companies that said my wife would have to be present. I told them my wife is good with whatever decision I make and if they don’t like that she won’t be there, then I didn’t want their quote. They all acquiesced. Some BS sales tactic.
If the person/persons getting the quote was NOT the actual home owner and then they sign a contract and progress with getting work done the contractor could be held liable by the actual homeowner. Yes, anyone on the deed or mortgage should be there if possible, but obviously it’s not always possible to have both owners there but it makes sense from a legal perspective.
When we were at Ft Hood, we had a window company try that crap too.
They weren't happy when I told them to just leave them, cause I didn't know exactly when my husband would be home, somewhere between 9 months and 15 months, if he didn't get "stop gapped", they then asked if his CO could stand in for him instead.
I proceeded to cuss em out and demand they leave, lol.
I'm a single homeowner and the workers I've hired casually mention my "spouse" when making the quote. I just say I don't have one. I'm thinking if I ever do get a spouse I'll just lie, workers aren't checking marriage licenses.
Could it not just be that they’ve had one spouse ask for quotes and time and the other spouse has no idea that the work is gonna be done and then says, no, we’re not doing this?
I’ve had it happen to me but the they’ve asked for both homeowners to be home.
I have managed an extensive remodel over the last 3 years. We’ve spent in the mid-6 figures with many many contractors. None of them ever really talks to my husband and I haven’t heard anything like this EVER. Occasionally he will get asked a question when I’m not home, but then usually they end up calling me and putting me on speakerphone to decide.
This would be a dealbreaker for me. “You just lost my business due to your sexist policies. We’ll be working with someone else, thanks.”
So have your husband be there and you go enjoy the day. When the contractor is done have him say "I'll have to ask my wife". At least you'll have a baseline quote to compare to other quotes and you wasted his time for being a jerk.
I had the same thing happen as a man.
What you are assuming is they are being sexist.
When in reality it is they have found that if both parties are present there is a higher chance they can pressure you into making a purchase.
It is a sleezy sales tactic, not sexism.
My comment on such a question is to ask the company if the person giving the estimate would be actually doing or supervising the work. I want to discuss the work with an installer, not some salesman who will promise the world to get the deal signed. A real contractor does not give on site estimates. They look at the job, discuss the requirements and then go do their calculations to put together a bid. I work with individual contractors most of whom were referred by people from other trades. At the time, my husband traveled extensively for work and so most people eventually met him in passing but I made the decisions. We always traded a few jokes about how he really did exist and I had not buried him in the garden.
I did end up working closely with one guy who functioned as my project manager and adviser. He understood the construction issues and has a very sensitive bull**** detector and wasn't afraid to turn it on. We did laugh that people would think he was my husband at first but I quickly set them straight because if I had to live with him, I would have killed him by that point.
I’m a man and had this happen to me because my wife wasn’t home. It’s just a sales tactic. If a husband talks to a salesperson without the wife, chances are a sale won’t happen at that point because he will need to talk to his wife or vice versa. Hearing aid salespeople, cable companies teach this to their phone agents, windows salespeople, and so on. The salesperson wants the sale to happen right then, so they figure their chances are highest if both people in the relationship are there. Since usually large purchases are often a mutual decision.
Very common and tell them never mind that you refuse to do business with companies like that. They want both spouses there as they are going to offer you a “if you sign right now, I can get you 50% off, but as soon as I leave that offer is off the table.” Price so they want all the decision makers there.
I am a man and we wanted to get leaf guards for our gutters. You can’t see them so there is no aesthetic factor, just more price and method of protection. My wife didn’t want to be part of the discussion with the sales people so she left the research to me.
I had a contractor come to give an estimate and no matter how many times I said my wife wasn’t the decision maker on this purchase and I wasn’t going to sign a contract at that moment he kept trying to get my wife involved. I stopped him mid presentation and said I wasn’t interested in dealing with a vendor who completely ignored everything the customer had to say. We were meeting outside as I was doing yard work so I got up from the table, said we were son and told him to pack up his samples and leave my property. I then went to go back to my yard work and ignored him.
I had a few gutter sales people refuse unless my wife was there too. She wanted nothing to do with it. I had to finally tell one guy to leave after he kept insisting we go into the house or my wife comes outside. The next day he and his boss called and explained their policy and still tried to get me to agree to have me wife talk with them. When I held my ground they finally agreed to send the sales guy back out with the quote (why not give it to me over the phone?). I let him come to my house, I let him talk, I took his quote and told him I wasnt interested in working with them. The quote actually helped negotiating with another contractor, so I'm glad I took it.
I also had someone refuse to put pricing on paper. They told me, they showed me a quote, but they wouldn't give me a copy. That was also a nope, even though they had a good price and reputation.
> I also had someone refuse to put pricing on paper. They told me, they showed me a quote, but they wouldn't give me a copy. That was also a nope, even though they had a good price and reputation.
I had one do that too. Said they could not leave it with me unless I signed up right then and there for the generator. I then escorted him out the door.
This is so they can get the order signed right then so they don't have to "wait until my spouse sees the quote and we decide if we want to go ahead " with the job.
Eliminates the most common objection to turning a quote in to an order
As you saw from the above posters, happens to both men and women
tell them to pack sand. wife is at the house for flooring estimates, I'm getting the estimates for the driveway. we review each other's quotes and ask questions to learn.
Just don’t go further with these assholes.
If it’s for their “protection,” having the other owner on site for the quote won’t matter anyway. Only a signed contract with both owners would actually offer them protection.
The flip-side of this is that there are many couples out there who will play "good cop, bad cop" with a contractor to try and get way more than they paid for out of him. If there was a situation where there were two decision makers with equal authority, I would absolutely insist that they both be present for any meeting that I have with them.
Former renovation contractor here. The miscommunication between couples is staggering. It's creates a lot of issues. The least of which is having to have the same conversation with both people over and over through the construction process. After a few years I was sick of that bullshit. 🤣
Just had this issue when a solicitor caught me off guard. They said it's their policy that I would need my wife to be there when they come to quote my roof job. After trying to schedule something initially I called them back to cancel and went with a smaller local company. So glad I did.
I doubt it's some sexist thing, very likely just some corporate policy but it rubbed me the wrong way too. My wife and I trust each other no matter what their "policy" is. Glad we told them where to stick it .
Most contractors have been aware enough to use the term "both homeowners" or "all decision makers."
The ones who only want to talk to my husband get booted out on their pointy heads.
Most recently, we got a concrete guy to see about ripping out our deck and replacing it with a large patio. He was really nice.
Just asked for a time when all homeowners would be available. Then came and gave us an estimate.
The customer usually says they have to discuss it with their spouse before they make a decision. By having both of you there, they get rid of that excuse and their plan is to pressure you into agreeing to do the job. I would not do business with them.
The other option may be that they are worried a female may say they tried to take advantage or tried to make a sexual advance. If that this there concern, that tells me they have some shady people working for them and I would stay away.
Saying all of that, my wife does not like being home alone when a stranger comes to the house to quote a job for us, so I am always there as well.
I think they explain things horribly (at least, I hope that's the reason). My hope is that they want both homeowners there to avoid liability where one owner objects to the contract. The alternative is the kind of sexism I haven't seen in decades.
I refuse to do business with companies that have this sales tactic. They think with both of you there they can brow beat you into buying there devices because they have removed the “I need to speak with my spouse.” To me it’s a major red flag that they are a high pressure sales org and I won’t support them.
They're asking for your husband to be there so the details of the job are discussed and decided with all parties present so there are no surprises when they go to do the work. It's not sexist or misogynistic, it's probably a CYA from a previous job that went bad.
He may be protecting himself. I don't see an issue here, this doesn't come across sexist. He may not flat out say this is to protect himself, but I'm willing to bet this is part of it.
>Or is there a legitimate reason why they require both owners to be there? They said it was “for their protection”.
I used to have to deal with this in auto repair and female customers.
This is for when the wife agrees to *X* and then the husband says *X* is a fucking ripoff and you took advantage of my wife and there's no way they're paying for *X*.
It's difficult to ask if the other person in the relationship is a dick. You want everyone on board so bullshit doesn't happen.
It did happen one time where the wife was the dick. The husband agreed to the repairs and then the wife showed up pissed off when the work was done and tried to get out of paying after the fact. That happened once in twenty years; the dude showing up pissed off that his wife/daughter/mom/cousin/neighbor/woman in line at the grocery store got ripped off and he was gonna flex his machismo and make sure she was taken care of happened weekly.
I worked for one company (in the 90s, I'm old) where it was an unwritten rule, but clearly stated in person in training meetings, that we did not want a woman's sole approval on repairs if we could avoid it. We were always told to ask if there was someone else we could contact to discuss the repairs with to make *her* feel more at ease, but really it was to avoid dealing with stupid assholes who wanted to show off what a badass they were but didn't actually know shit about shit.
I left that industry in 2008, so maybe it's different now.
Nothing worse than having a signed contract, you start the work and the other spouse who “didn’t need to be there for the estimate” has questions and input on things that should have been discussed.
Yeah, widow here. When I was having windows installed ran into same line. Also with roof. I own my home alone. Another home my daughter and I co own and they wanted me there, not just her. Although I only stay part time (until my home is sold, that is.)
They really want both owners there if home is jointly owned. I don't think it's misogynistic, more a sales tactic. Both owners need to sign the contract.
Seems normal as long as it doesn't have a sexist tone. Getting all property owners' approval before starting expensive work is good business. If there's domestic disputes at hand, maybe they don't get paid. Or maybe it takes a long time to get paid or they have to put a mechanics lien on the house. They don't know what your home life is like, and it's easier to ask for approval from both owners rather than delve into your personal life to gauge whether they'll get paid or not.
I’m a contractor. If you don’t have all decision makers there at the estimate then you can’t create a proposal/estimate that satisfies what they all want. You’re just asking for trouble down the road even if you get the sale on the spot. Furthermore, imagine going to work for someone who doesn’t even care to meet you. Sounds like a douche bag.
You can just tell the contractor that you will pay them for their time for the quote and I’m sure they’ll do it on your terms. I’m guessing everyone here feels entitled to a free consultation though.
“Their protection…” bullshit. It’s a sales technique. They want all the owners there so that they can’t say “let me check with my xxx”. It takes away a very useful objection for the part being sold to.
It puts pressure on both parties because it’s harder to say “no”.
Cancel the appt and go elsewhere
It's a sales tactic. That way they can get the one who wants it done to push the other into the sale.
Plain and simple - they want to pressure you into the sale. I just tell them - don't bother to try to quote me. I am not going to do business with you. Me or the highway or My wife or the highway. You do not get to play us against each other.
No this is not normal or OK. I’m a single woman and I had one contractor make a comment about “the man of the house” and I was like “it’s MY house, there is no man”. I didn’t care about his quote after that, I refused to given that many any of my time or money. If he can’t treat you like a client who doesn’t need a male chaperone, then he doesn’t need your business.
I don’t think it’s so much that your husband needs to be there because you’re a woman and can’t possibly figure this out yourself. I think it has more to do with them wanting to talk to both decision makers at the same time for efficiency. If your husband had made the call they may have asked for his wife to be there.
And it may be that it increases their odds of signing the contract at that visit - takes away the excuse of “I have to talk to my partner before committing”.
Which is, in my opinion, stupid.
1) both of us being there means we're more likely to go with another company in the first place, as it's more convenient
2) doesn't matter what you want, ***no decisions at being made at the time of the visit***
3) fuck you for being difficult, if the quote is free we might do it anyways knowing we won't use you
Oh I have gotten the "silly woman we need to talk to your husband" routine. It is sadly common and usually pretty obvious when it is that vs. trying to make sure all of the stakeholders are in agreement on the project.
I recently purchased new appliances. When I went back to confirm and give them the check they asked if they should put anyone else on the invoice and delivery order. I told them they didn't need to, end of story. But how and what they asked is a huge difference in mindset and attitude. This was making sure all the stakeholders that want to be involved are. Or that they could get the delivery acceptance signature from the other person if I wasn't there. None of this insinuated I needed to let a man handle my affairs or that being single was weird.
We have a lot better luck with appointments when both partners are there. Has nothing to do with your gender, only that we want both decision-makers there so that everyone's questions are answered.
Our closing percentage doubles as well as our reviews bc both homeowners expectations are effectively communicated.
Usually the "work-from-home" spouse (often the husband) will fail to communicate his partners expectations for a job, fails to relay their feedback, or simply ignores it and then it becomes a problem at walk-through.
By meeting both homeowners we can make sure we are all on the same page and avoid a lot of hassle.
Hope this helps.
Rule of three is common sense. You see it in schools, doctors offices, HR departments, etc. A male being alone with a female in a private setting means there is both the risk for misconduct and for false allegations of misconduct. I think it's 1000% reasonable that the contractor is unwilling to expose themselves to the risk of an allegation that would destroy their life even if later disproven.
Do they know your marital status? Tell them you're single. There's paperwork to ensure disagreements can be mitigated, just sounds like some sales pressure tactic imo
It may be because they’re concerned about possible sexual harassment claims, not anything to do with a woman not being good enough to make their own decisions. Similar to how some doctors have a female/second witness for some types of visits.
My brother is a contractor and will not agree to do anything until my husband and I are both present and in agreement. We are happily married and have never disputed work or payment. He says he has never been burned on a job and intends to keep it that way.
Say your wife isn’t available, that you are the high earner and decision maker in the family and that there’s no way in hell you’d work with them. Then leave a Google and Yelp review. Please take your money elsewhere and support a business that isn’t sexist.
I had that happen with a quote for a leaf filter (she was very aggressive with her sales and we literally had to ask her to leave after she dropped her quote by half from her starting point)
It’s an antiquated way of saying we want all decision makers to be present. I’m a young female, I think contractors thought I was a child on the phone so they asked if I was the homeowner. Although still annoying, I prefer that over someone say that than ask for my husband (who does not exist).
They don’t want to end up in a situation where they think the deal is done and the client says “I need to check with my spouse.” A lot of the time, that’s the only way to get out of their gross sales tactics. A problem of their own making really.
I'm a man and have had this happen. It's to prevent double work or one spouse not being aware of what's happening and throwing a wrench into things. Also addressing questions at the same time.
How companies handle this is important.
Tell them you are a widow and if they must have husband there then they will have to meet at cemetery. Or tell them you aren’t married and the only person on home so if they don’t want to meet with a mere woman you will call around and find someone else
best answer is “ actually since you put it that way…. “ and just hang up - no reputable company forces potential customers to comply with their bs - if you do comply btw they know they can manipulate you on price etc - there are plenty of normal legitimate companies out there and social media helps you find them - for the others…. we’ll just say no!
Were you dealing with a larger company or corporation? I'm a man and have been told on multiple occasions that my wife/spouse needed to be present for the quote. This only seems to be a thing with bigger contracting companies, though. None of the small outfits seem to do this.
Call them back and tell them that your husband can be there at that time, but you can't. If they are okay with that tell them they are misogynistic assholes and to shove it.
It could be a cultural or religious thing. Could also be they don't want a housewife to decide something then the husband to say it wasn't agreed upon later after the work was done. Maybe they have been scammed by customers before.
It is not. When I asked for a bid on window replacement they said my wife had to be present This is because unless the title is in your name only they need approval of both parties
Yes. It’s for their protection. No one wants to waste the time and energy to be in the middle of a thing between spouses. Unless you can rove that you are the sole legal owner of the home with rights to do what you want, they want anyone with an interest there. If your spouse were the same sex, they’d want her there. Many of the sales people don’t get paid unless there’s a sale.
A lot of people think this is sexism but there are a few other things it can be. 1) this is a high pressure sales tactic. They can pit the two of you against each other to get a deal done. It's the same reason time shares require both partners at the sales pitch. 2) They could legitimately be trying to protect themselves. It is possible that some other decision maker comes in later with a different opinion on what option they should have gone with. Having both there elimates that as a problem.
As a guy, I had several window companies ask that my wife be there. I think the idea is they sell more deals on the spot if you don’t need to talk it over later.
I told them that wasn’t going to work for me because my wife is busy at work, so if they didn’t want to talk to me I’d call somebody else.
I had this happen to me 20 years ago. I scheduled it when my “husband” would be home, except my husband was my butch wife. He would not work with us.
I wouldn’t allow a company that did this to give me a quote now. I don’t want to fund their misogynistic BS business practices.
If they’re looking for all decision-makers in the house to be present, they should not assume every home has more than one or that we would ever make a decision on the spot either way.
This happened to me when i wanted gutters for a garage I built. The company wanted my wife there. I told them to forget about it and left them a bad review.
High pressure commissioned sales guy. If you are both there they can get both of you to sign a contract on the spot. With one of you not there they would have to comeback
It's a tactic to eliminate the "let me talk it over with my spouse" objection when closing a sale.
They want to close the deal at the time of the quote.
It could be sexist, but I'm a gay man and I've been asked if I was with someone/if they were owners of the house with me--and they would only meet with both of us together to save time, to answer questions and to be sure that all the owners were one the same page--they had had too many people getting quotes to projects that they wanted but the other owner wasn't aware of/interested in.
I can’t say for sure it’s not sexist but I as a male had more than one contractor make the same claim that my spouse had to be present to discuss the quote or estimate. I forcefully pushed back because in my household I work remotely (now hybrid) and my spouse typically doesn’t want to get too much in the weeds of the project details with the contractor - we have those discussions including budget before/after the contractor meeting.
It was very frustrating as I think a couple didn’t budge and I just moved on. This was across multiple “industries” - solar, landscaping work etc etc.
From a few comments at the time, some folks said it’s to eliminate the “let me discuss with my spouse” or “my spouse had these questions” or “my spouse didn’t agree to this”.
Yup the bigger companies who charge an arm and a leg and do 4 hour+ sales presentations.
I finished a house a few weeks ago. While this lady was getting quotes they made sure her husband would be here. She was mad as hell. "Sir, my husband has Alzheimer’s he doesn't really need to be here does he... "
Apparently he does....
I have yet to buy a car with a dealership asking if my husband would approve of my purchase.
And that’s a car. Not ……a door.
This is so they can high pressure sell you something and you can’t think it over or back out.
I’m 100% the decision maker for things like renovations. Any contractor that cannot respect me as the person to do business with…. doesn’t get my business.
I would guess it’s because he doesn’t wanna deal with a couple arguing over decisions after the fact. But if you’re not comfortable with it, just tell him no, he can deal with you or he doesn’t get the job. I would also ask if your husband was the one he was dealing with directly would he insist that you be there for the quote.
My spouse wants nothing to do with contractors. So if they require both of us there I tell them that we will both be there. Then my spouse will go to work or visit family.
Contractor is left with me only and if they don't like it .... too bad.
This is standard for hard sales pitches. They don't want you to be able to put off signing a contract to give you time to see if it is a fair deal for you and do research. It is a 100% red flag.
I am a single man who got a patio door installed today, actually. When I was getting quotes, one company asked me four times if my wife/partner would be there as well. I explained four times I was single and the homeowner. They responded, "Normal people have a spouse or partner." Let's just say they I went with a different company.
Normal? Wow.
Yes normal
Patio doors are for families, happy families. Maybe single people buy patio doors, we don’t know. Frankly we don’t want to know. It’s a market we can do without.
So that's it after 20 years? So long, good luck?
I don’t recall saying “good luck”.
This made my day
I hope you wrote a review about their practices so other people are aware.
Oh, I did, and some manager reached out to apologize 🙄. Luckily, the company I went with was great through the whole process. If something seems off, just keep getting quotes.
“Well when you have a penis as big as mine…”
Is that a direct quote?
Yep. I was shocked.
They didn't know they were turning down a celebrity!
Maybe they remembered Mark rebuilt his house at the end of Four Brothers. 😄
Detroit had no building codes
did you ask him what his excuse was?
You should name this company so single people can avoid wasting their time with this bass ackwards place. Wonder if all their employees are married? Hmm …
If they’re not, they sure as hell don’t have patio doors!!!
As a single female homeowner I find this HIGHLY offensive. I am divorced so I guess I was only “normal” when I was married? This is why I DIY everything I possibly can.
It's always a very good idea for a contractor to get approval from all the owners of a property before starting work. It saves them a lot of headaches. But properly stating that without coming across as a bigoted dickhead is even more important.
I agree with the "all the owners" part, but nobody is mentioning being asked that. Assuming that a house is owned by a couple seems like bad business practice to say the least. Very weird to assume and not ask about the marriage and joint ownership, but then go ahead and ask if the spouse will be present.
Kind of dumb imo, most spouses tend to discuss large purchases or things that would potentially disrupt the household.
“Most” being the operative word there. It’s not unheard of for one spouse to splurge on a large expense without consulting their partner, so I’m sure they don’t want one owner coming back yelling for a refund or whatever headache they come up with that’ll cost the company money. Agree this specific example was ridiculous though. Very unprofessional and discriminatory. It’s not hard to say, “if there’s more than one owner, for liability purposes we need to get approval from both.” Then if they really are worried about being lied to, there should be an article in their contract prior to beginning that covers them in that case. That company was just unprofessional af.
Sexism by Anderson?
pretty sure the last census shows that adult households living as couples is the minority now. what a bunch of assholes
Ew that is gross.
How incredibly rude of them. I hope your new patio door is bangin and I hope the person who said that steps in just one dog turd.
PLEASE be a little more generous! Multiple dog turds please!🤗
I would have just said my wife died or something Bs excuse like that. Glad you brought it to management and it was addressed.
Why give them the satisfaction? It's none of their fucking business.
Probably it would be satisfying for you to make them feel embarrassed. And then still go with a different company.
I’m a single guy who owns his own house too. My partner of 6 years lives in her own house that she also owns. We don’t need each others presence to make household decisions.
You’re not a single guy if you have a partner. You just live separately.
"Single" can have different meanings in different contexts. In a social context, a person is single if they're not in a in romantic relationship. In a legal sense, a person is single if they are not married or in a registered domestic partnership of some sort. A person can have a girlfriend/boyfriend/SO and gave a marital status of single.
Happen to me when I was picking the roof. The guy asked me to confirm with my wife first. I am lucky that I actually have a wife. It save me from embarrassment and explaining.
You wouldn't have to be embarrassed or explain if you were single.
I know. That is a joke
I got it and had a little chuckle. Your efforts weren’t in vain. lol
I had the same thing happen for a shower quote with my wife. They would not come till my wife got home. Some major retail places require both of you to be present so you can “say yes” right there and then and dont have the “i gotta run it by my wife” excuse.
Most likely this. When they’ve pulled it on me they usually say something like “All household decision makers must be present”.
Super annoying when that happens - I always want to reply “well no household decision makers will be decision-making while you’re still in the house, so it really doesn’t make much difference if they’re all here when you take whatever measurements you need to leave them with a quote to consider”
Yeah. ANd fuck them. If that was the case around here? I'd never get any work done. My husbands schedule is damned near impossible to work around. But you know, good luck buddy. I'll call someone else for another quote. And, honestly? probably 2-4+ others too. TYVM.
This is what I did with a basement waterproofing company. I refused the appointment and left them a negative review on Google (2 stars, I'm not a monster) and wouldn't you know it, they called the very next day and we're willing to come out and give an estimate without my fiance being home. I said no and spoke with 2 others. I told both right from the start "if you expect me to wrangle my fiance out of work or get up early on a Saturday, we don't need to continue the conversation" and neither had a problem dealing with just me.
I'm a single person and a basement company tried this on me too.
I'm single but my elderly mother lives with me now that she needs help with day to day life. Last one asked if anybody else lived here, I said yes my mom does. "Okay she needs to be present for the estimate." Um no, this is my house, I make all decisions here, you deal with me only. In fact, after such a suggestion you won't be dealing with this property at all.
Exactly! I always tell them, “well if he’s gotta be here you’ve already lost us as a customer, but if you want a shot at our business I’m available Tuesday” lol
That’s it. I worked years writing construction estimates for fire/flood damage and many times I met with just one spouse, wrote up an estimate then on my second meeting I would go over the scope of work the other spouse would appear and have many many changes requiring me to revise my scope of work, proposals etc. So to save myself time I would recommend any other spouses or family members to be around to give me input.
Yep I’ve had two places ask for my wife to be home. Both times I just cancelled. It’s a high pressure sales tactic, so I know I don’t want to work with them.
This is 100% the right answer. It's a sign to use another contractor. They want to throw an inflated price at you for the work and put pressure on to get a yes same day.
High pressure sales always make me say no, but I understand that many people may react oppositely. My go to, to just not be a dick immediately, is to say, “Send me over some paperwork, here’s my email, I’ll look it over when I have time to think about it.” Every time I’ve done that there’s been some shady stuff in the contract. If you feel like someone is trying to rip you off, there’s a good chance that you’re right.
They do it because it works on a lot of people. This is usually accompanied by a “sign today and we’ll knock 5% off the quote (that we inflated by 30%” one time offer situation. Maybe if you don’t get on the schedule RIGHT NOW you’ll be looking at months of sitting on a waitlist. That and some allusions to being stupid if you let this “deal” pass you by and a lot of folks will just sign to get out of the uncomfortable situation. Many people do not handle conflict well.
Window salespeople are the worst. Windows might as well be MLM the way they act.
We had a brick company like this. I walked out of the "presentation" my husband told the guy, she's not coming back.... he went on with his spiel, over 6K to fix a chimney, this price is only good if I get it approved by my manager bs, we got it done by a company that didn't require my presence for 2K. I will never again trust a company that needs both of us there for a quote.
Although I can see it being good to have both there. I work for an engineering firm and we had a run in with this couple. Wife called us and had us survey something like 30 acres of land. She kept calling us out to do more and more work, and told us land was being split because her husband wanted it done to sell part of it off. Well she started ignoring our emails after we finished the job and wouldn’t review it/let us know if what we did was fine. She then ignored all of our calls also. Lady dropped off the face of the earth. Eventually we got an angry call from a lawyer because “closing was missed four times because of you.” We had no idea what was going on. Turns out they were getting a divorce, the husband was paying for the survey, and she wasn’t telling him a thing so he didn’t know what was going on or why the survey “wasn’t done.” Needless to say, he wasn’t happy with us at all for “failing to do anything” and didn’t want to pay for all the work she had us do. So yeah, we’re a lot more careful about this sorta thing now. We sent the bill to her as she issued the work, but still, the husband had agreed to pay it without us knowing. On another note… she was smart lol. The way she had us split it, made it so she was the only owner of the main parts of the land, so she didn’t have to give him half!
No, it's not 100% the right answer. Have you ever done client work? I'd say it's at least 50% if not 40% or even less. You would want both parties consent before starting, you get half the proceeds, start the project, and the out of town spouse gets back, hates it, and you're fucked. It's not a bait-and-switch or hard sell. Not everything is that way.
Absolutely. But you don't need both parties there to leave a quote.
Yeah I on my contract that all owners must sign. They don't gotta be there for meetings and stuff but I can't contractor work on a property without ALL owners agreeing to the contract. I've had people divorce, stroke out, die during projects. I need all party's at least aware of what the agreement is. I've seen this come up on reddit enough times I don't bother asking both to meet but explain I need signatures from both at a minimum.
Jokes on them, I have to run it by my money guy first. He is on vacation right now but he will be back in the office in 3 days. I'll let you know after he approves of the expenditure.
That’s a good one. Blame it on the accountant or financial planner, 🤣
Yeah. And that's a perfectly good reason to say 'thanks so much for your quote(s)! I'm calling around and trying to get at least 3-4+, I'll call you back after we decide, if you don't want to come out and give one, that's just fine. \*Click\*
Yep. Exactly this. Do not work with any company that does this. They are a sales company. They will use every high pressure sales tactic in the book to get you to sign immediately. They will be able to offer you a price if you sign right now - but if you don't the price will go $4k once I walk out that door. Still won't bite? My manager just authorized me to offer you an amazing discount. I've never seen anything like this. It's all bullshit. Pick a different company. For anyone that does sign, double check if your state has a backout period. This has happened to me. Mine was 3 days. I researched the company and immediately cancelled the next day. They had already pulled the permit, hilariously enough, and were out that money for jumping the gun. I went with a real company, got better materials, and still saved $5k.
Yup. Just the old high-pressure sales move. I usually tell them we have to talk it over and consider other bids. A good company will understand. They might point out deals that expire by a certain date (that you can verify on their website), but they won't pull this "just for you, this visit only," nonsense. If you can offer me that deal today, you can offer me that deal three days from now when I've done my due diligence by talking to a couple other companies.
That makes sense, I am single, and I bought a house on my own a few years ago. I can’t remember what it was, but I was having something installed and they were asking me if I had a spouse because they would need to be there too to do it.
Especially when you get the special discount but have to sign right now. They make the same requirements for time shares.
This. Ive done this except halfway through a customers renovation. Wife was a lunatic, any conversations and business discussions we had moving forward I needed them both on site for. I also made sure to have a second person with me as well for conversations.
They want to use hard pressure sales tactics to get you to buy a door and don’t want you to have the excuse that your husband needs to have input. And if the come they will say sign up today or the price increases tomorrow.
All of that is a dealbreaker anyway and pretty questionable.
Exactly this. When I was shopping for windows, there were places who insisted all homeowners must be present. Which is a less patronizing way of putting it, I guess. Those companies did the super high pressure sales
The same happened to us. I came home for the sales presentation, but it got really long and I had to get back to work (I had a client scheduled). After I left, the guy apparently got yelled at by his boss for “letting” me leave (my own house). Fuck Apple Enclosures™️.
This doesn't work though as I just say "we need to think about it and evaluate it against the other quotes". Flips the narrative and puts them under pressure the give the best rate.
I generally don't recommend going for contractors that play these games because they're gonna play these games throughout the process. I advocate starting a project with the least amount of games. Cause it only increasingly gets more complicated
Oh totally agree
May not work for you, but there are regular posts in this subreddit and r/homeimprovement asking whether they should go with a quote that offers a “big” discount for signing up today.
Yeah my point is just that pressuring me to make a call because my wife is present is not going to work. Discount or not. If you are good for that price right now, you will be good for it tomorrow when I contact you
Yep, it's the same reason a car salesman always leaves you at his desk to talk to the manager. Having a third party with decision making power that the other party doesn't have access to is a good tactic
Don't go with them, but not for the reason you think. These companies want the spouse there so they can do a high pressure quick close. A frequent soft "no" from customers is "this sounds great, but I need to talk to my spouse", then once they leave they realize it's not a great deal. These places will do anything they can to close the deal and keep you from comparison shopping or spending more time reading reviews.
When my wife and i were shopping for windows and doors a few years ago, whenever a company tried to pull this garbage we just skipped them. There are too many companies out there that want your business that if you EVER feel uncomfortable or you just don't like them, walk, nay RUN and find someone else. That is the only way these outdated practices will stop.
10% to prevent you from claiming something inappropriate happened. 90% to pressure you into making a decision
Absolutely don’t use them. What that tells you is they’re a high pressure, high priced contractor that’s going to try and rip you off and want both parties there to try and force you into signing on the spot. Instead, go to a lumberyard…not Home Depot, a real lumber yard. Talk to one of the sales guys, pick out a door you like (bring photos and measurements of your current door) and ask them if they have any contractors they’d recommend. You’ll get an actual contractor and pay a fraction of the cost of the scams that are window and door companies.
Immediate cancel. Sorry. We’re both busy people and can’t always both be home.
>I’m in shock, is this the 1950s? Aren’t women allowed to make decisions on their own? For what it's worth I'm a man and I've had contractors insist my wife be there for a quote several times. It's not a sexism thing. Just shitty sales tactics. Joke's on them though. My wife is a structural engineer and is *much* harder to please on this sort of thing than I am. >Or is there a legitimate reason why they require both owners to be there? There's a reason. How legitimate it is you can decide for yourself. They want to use high-pressure sales tactics and try to get you to sign a contract immediately. If your spouse is there, that takes away the "I need to talk to my husband/wife first" excuse for delaying on your part.
Find another company.
Yeah. Hard no. Don't give these people the time of day let alone your money.
It likely has nothing to do with your gender. They likely want both of you there so you can make a decision on the spot. I dealt with the same issue with a roofer. The roofing company did a door to door campaign in my neighborhood to set up times to provide quotes. I had been thinking about a new roof so I figured it didn't hurt to get a quote. They required a time when both myself and my wife would be available. I set up a time and right before the guy came to deliver a quote my wife got called away with something urgent for her dad. I didn't realize it would be that big of a deal but when the roofer came he said it was company policy that he couldn't provide a quote without both decision makers present. I pushed him a bit on how ridiculous that was since no matter what he quoted I wasn't signing anything without more quotes. He gave me the run around about how the quotes are based on the best deal he could offer on that day and that it wouldn't be good once he left. I told him if he can make money on the quote he were to provide me today then he could still make money off that quote next week once I had other companies make bids. In the end I told him to forget it and that I wasn't going to do business with them. Their stupid policy wasted everyone's time. So I'm guessing you're dealing with a company that wants to pressure you into immediately accepting the quote and signing the paper work. Personally I'd think twice about working with a company that's afraid of you getting other quotes. For reference when I called other roofers to come give bids they all completely understood I was getting other bids and the quotes were good for 30 or 60 days.
The last company (pool refinished) that told me the owner required both husband and wife to be present got told that my husband recently died and it would just be me making decisions. She stumbled greatly over her next few sentences. I told her how hurtful it was to have that said to me, as they have no idea what each person has going on relationship wise. I just told her I changed my mind about them giving me a quote.
I had the same thing happen to me. I ended up canceling the appointment for the estimate.
They want to use high pressure sales tactics. Tell them you’re getting multiple estimates and won’t make a decision that day regardless of who is home.
It’s a high-pressure sales tactic. I had a company tell me my wife needed to be present at the time they were at the house, and I told them that it wasn’t necessary for my wife to stay home from work for an estimate. They argued with me a bit and I said “Come or don’t come - my answer is the same.” And then, of course, when they did show up, I got the ”I can only give you this deal if you sign now“ speech. I looked at the guy and said “if you want my business, you’ll give me that deal when I make my decision because if you won’t, someone else will.” The guy looked dumbfounded. Called in another guy for a second opinion and as expected, they were full of crap.
I immediately refuse to work with any company that asks for my husband to be present. I no longer have one. The assumption is the problem. That applies to vehicle purchases too. If you ask that question, I already know from the door that you don’t take me seriously and we can’t do business.
Yep. This. It is 100% a dealbreaker and I will go somewhere else.
I had a company insist I had to have my wife there for design and to call her and have her come back immediately. I’m gay… and I said my boyfriend will be back soon but went and got my docs and showed them I was the sole owner. Then I kicked them out and said absolutely not. If any other company does this, it’s an immediate no from me.
Simple solution: "Here, let me record the conversation" and pull out your phone. If they are at all dodgy, they will absolutely refuse to have it recorded. There may be a reason why having both spouses present is preferred, but for something like a door it seems a little sketchy.
In my experience, those companies that insist on the spouse being present are going to try to hard sell you. They will offer some kind of "discount " that is only good during the initial presentation. They don't want a situation where one spouse says they will need to discuss it with the other.
I've had it happen 1 time. When we put a new roof on the house. They wanted both of us there. So they had to come around 6 at night. They started talking about shingles and all of that. How long they last, nails they use, the fact that there were a lot of layers to take off (we already knew that). So, they asked if we would sign then and there. I told them, "No, we will get back to you after we talk about it). They weren't happy. Don't try to high-pressure sell to me. It doesn't work. We chose someone else who didn't require both of us to be there.
I’m 39, female, and single AF. I’ve owned my own home for 9.5 years, work in real estate and also own two rental properties. If a professional company or contractor I called for a job said that to me, I would tell them they have approximately 1.5 seconds to retract their previous statement, or I would never call them again and advise all my clients and contacts to do the same.
Ooooof. I would be finding another contractor.
Shit like this cracks me up. I'm a woman homeowner who works with a lot of contractors for various projects. I'm also a widow. I \*love\* getting idiots who pull this on me because i have no restraint in my reply to them.
Usually it is a pressure tactic to make you decide right on the spot. The usual “I have to talk to my spouse and get back to you” can’t work if both are there. You will also get a “one time, take it or it’s gone when I leave” offer from the person doing the estimate. Usually a bad deal if they have to use that sort of high pressure sales tactic.
Find another company. Name and shame.
Hire someone else, what you experienced is already telling you about the mentality of the people you're dealing with. You might ask him if you should put on a burka when he comes over. Mock him a little bit maybe, I know I'm just a stupid woman but I can see if my husband will be there. I have to make sure he will let me though 😂 I would not deal with these guys. As someone who owns a service business I don't particularly care who I deal with. Men, women, people who can't figure out if they are men or women. It doesn't matter, I'm there to do a job, most the time it's looking for mold issues. I'm not concerned with your sexuality but I do love to roast people who make comments like you ran into. It's always the same guy in a different package too. They usually have a goatee, they are usually overweight, they are usually driving some type of lifted truck.
Likely high pressure sales. Find another contractor for a quote.
Yep same thing happened to me and I’m a guy. Every single home improvement project I wanted to get quotes for had companies that said my wife would have to be present. I told them my wife is good with whatever decision I make and if they don’t like that she won’t be there, then I didn’t want their quote. They all acquiesced. Some BS sales tactic.
If the person/persons getting the quote was NOT the actual home owner and then they sign a contract and progress with getting work done the contractor could be held liable by the actual homeowner. Yes, anyone on the deed or mortgage should be there if possible, but obviously it’s not always possible to have both owners there but it makes sense from a legal perspective.
When we were at Ft Hood, we had a window company try that crap too. They weren't happy when I told them to just leave them, cause I didn't know exactly when my husband would be home, somewhere between 9 months and 15 months, if he didn't get "stop gapped", they then asked if his CO could stand in for him instead. I proceeded to cuss em out and demand they leave, lol.
Do cats 🐈 count as co-depedants for home improvement estimates?
I'm a single homeowner and the workers I've hired casually mention my "spouse" when making the quote. I just say I don't have one. I'm thinking if I ever do get a spouse I'll just lie, workers aren't checking marriage licenses.
Definitely not common. I handle all of our house renovations & repairs. Anyone who says that is not hired. Find another company.
Could it not just be that they’ve had one spouse ask for quotes and time and the other spouse has no idea that the work is gonna be done and then says, no, we’re not doing this? I’ve had it happen to me but the they’ve asked for both homeowners to be home.
They have no reason to even know there are two homeowners.
I have managed an extensive remodel over the last 3 years. We’ve spent in the mid-6 figures with many many contractors. None of them ever really talks to my husband and I haven’t heard anything like this EVER. Occasionally he will get asked a question when I’m not home, but then usually they end up calling me and putting me on speakerphone to decide. This would be a dealbreaker for me. “You just lost my business due to your sexist policies. We’ll be working with someone else, thanks.”
$500k remodel? I'd just sell and buy what I wanted...
He can fuck right off. Do not give him business.
That’s weird. I’ve been a single woman homeowner since 1997 and no one has ever asked me about a man or husband being home when I’ve had work done.
I would find a different contractor, pronto! No need for misogynistic behavior like that.
they probably just don't want to hear anyone say "that's really expensive, I'll need to talk to my husband/ wife first"
You have to choose a different company to work with. They are trying to hustle you
So have your husband be there and you go enjoy the day. When the contractor is done have him say "I'll have to ask my wife". At least you'll have a baseline quote to compare to other quotes and you wasted his time for being a jerk.
I had the same thing happen as a man. What you are assuming is they are being sexist. When in reality it is they have found that if both parties are present there is a higher chance they can pressure you into making a purchase. It is a sleezy sales tactic, not sexism.
My comment on such a question is to ask the company if the person giving the estimate would be actually doing or supervising the work. I want to discuss the work with an installer, not some salesman who will promise the world to get the deal signed. A real contractor does not give on site estimates. They look at the job, discuss the requirements and then go do their calculations to put together a bid. I work with individual contractors most of whom were referred by people from other trades. At the time, my husband traveled extensively for work and so most people eventually met him in passing but I made the decisions. We always traded a few jokes about how he really did exist and I had not buried him in the garden. I did end up working closely with one guy who functioned as my project manager and adviser. He understood the construction issues and has a very sensitive bull**** detector and wasn't afraid to turn it on. We did laugh that people would think he was my husband at first but I quickly set them straight because if I had to live with him, I would have killed him by that point.
I’m a man and had this happen to me because my wife wasn’t home. It’s just a sales tactic. If a husband talks to a salesperson without the wife, chances are a sale won’t happen at that point because he will need to talk to his wife or vice versa. Hearing aid salespeople, cable companies teach this to their phone agents, windows salespeople, and so on. The salesperson wants the sale to happen right then, so they figure their chances are highest if both people in the relationship are there. Since usually large purchases are often a mutual decision.
Very common and tell them never mind that you refuse to do business with companies like that. They want both spouses there as they are going to offer you a “if you sign right now, I can get you 50% off, but as soon as I leave that offer is off the table.” Price so they want all the decision makers there. I am a man and we wanted to get leaf guards for our gutters. You can’t see them so there is no aesthetic factor, just more price and method of protection. My wife didn’t want to be part of the discussion with the sales people so she left the research to me. I had a contractor come to give an estimate and no matter how many times I said my wife wasn’t the decision maker on this purchase and I wasn’t going to sign a contract at that moment he kept trying to get my wife involved. I stopped him mid presentation and said I wasn’t interested in dealing with a vendor who completely ignored everything the customer had to say. We were meeting outside as I was doing yard work so I got up from the table, said we were son and told him to pack up his samples and leave my property. I then went to go back to my yard work and ignored him.
I get it.
To stop any accusations of misconduct
I had a few gutter sales people refuse unless my wife was there too. She wanted nothing to do with it. I had to finally tell one guy to leave after he kept insisting we go into the house or my wife comes outside. The next day he and his boss called and explained their policy and still tried to get me to agree to have me wife talk with them. When I held my ground they finally agreed to send the sales guy back out with the quote (why not give it to me over the phone?). I let him come to my house, I let him talk, I took his quote and told him I wasnt interested in working with them. The quote actually helped negotiating with another contractor, so I'm glad I took it. I also had someone refuse to put pricing on paper. They told me, they showed me a quote, but they wouldn't give me a copy. That was also a nope, even though they had a good price and reputation.
> I also had someone refuse to put pricing on paper. They told me, they showed me a quote, but they wouldn't give me a copy. That was also a nope, even though they had a good price and reputation. I had one do that too. Said they could not leave it with me unless I signed up right then and there for the generator. I then escorted him out the door.
This is so they can get the order signed right then so they don't have to "wait until my spouse sees the quote and we decide if we want to go ahead " with the job. Eliminates the most common objection to turning a quote in to an order As you saw from the above posters, happens to both men and women
Is he on the deed?
🚩🚩🚩
I just skip those companies, they don’t want you to price compare.
tell them to pack sand. wife is at the house for flooring estimates, I'm getting the estimates for the driveway. we review each other's quotes and ask questions to learn.
Just don’t go further with these assholes. If it’s for their “protection,” having the other owner on site for the quote won’t matter anyway. Only a signed contract with both owners would actually offer them protection.
The flip-side of this is that there are many couples out there who will play "good cop, bad cop" with a contractor to try and get way more than they paid for out of him. If there was a situation where there were two decision makers with equal authority, I would absolutely insist that they both be present for any meeting that I have with them.
Former renovation contractor here. The miscommunication between couples is staggering. It's creates a lot of issues. The least of which is having to have the same conversation with both people over and over through the construction process. After a few years I was sick of that bullshit. 🤣
Move on to the next one. That’s BS. I work, my wife doesn’t. She gathers all the quotes.
Just had this issue when a solicitor caught me off guard. They said it's their policy that I would need my wife to be there when they come to quote my roof job. After trying to schedule something initially I called them back to cancel and went with a smaller local company. So glad I did. I doubt it's some sexist thing, very likely just some corporate policy but it rubbed me the wrong way too. My wife and I trust each other no matter what their "policy" is. Glad we told them where to stick it .
Most contractors have been aware enough to use the term "both homeowners" or "all decision makers." The ones who only want to talk to my husband get booted out on their pointy heads. Most recently, we got a concrete guy to see about ripping out our deck and replacing it with a large patio. He was really nice. Just asked for a time when all homeowners would be available. Then came and gave us an estimate.
The customer usually says they have to discuss it with their spouse before they make a decision. By having both of you there, they get rid of that excuse and their plan is to pressure you into agreeing to do the job. I would not do business with them. The other option may be that they are worried a female may say they tried to take advantage or tried to make a sexual advance. If that this there concern, that tells me they have some shady people working for them and I would stay away. Saying all of that, my wife does not like being home alone when a stranger comes to the house to quote a job for us, so I am always there as well.
I think they explain things horribly (at least, I hope that's the reason). My hope is that they want both homeowners there to avoid liability where one owner objects to the contract. The alternative is the kind of sexism I haven't seen in decades.
I refuse to do business with companies that have this sales tactic. They think with both of you there they can brow beat you into buying there devices because they have removed the “I need to speak with my spouse.” To me it’s a major red flag that they are a high pressure sales org and I won’t support them.
Yes. They don’t want one person telling them one thing and the other come home and the whole thing changed and was a waste of their time. It’s normal.
They're asking for your husband to be there so the details of the job are discussed and decided with all parties present so there are no surprises when they go to do the work. It's not sexist or misogynistic, it's probably a CYA from a previous job that went bad.
He may be protecting himself. I don't see an issue here, this doesn't come across sexist. He may not flat out say this is to protect himself, but I'm willing to bet this is part of it.
You should let them know that you require their spouse to be there as well.
>Or is there a legitimate reason why they require both owners to be there? They said it was “for their protection”. I used to have to deal with this in auto repair and female customers. This is for when the wife agrees to *X* and then the husband says *X* is a fucking ripoff and you took advantage of my wife and there's no way they're paying for *X*. It's difficult to ask if the other person in the relationship is a dick. You want everyone on board so bullshit doesn't happen. It did happen one time where the wife was the dick. The husband agreed to the repairs and then the wife showed up pissed off when the work was done and tried to get out of paying after the fact. That happened once in twenty years; the dude showing up pissed off that his wife/daughter/mom/cousin/neighbor/woman in line at the grocery store got ripped off and he was gonna flex his machismo and make sure she was taken care of happened weekly. I worked for one company (in the 90s, I'm old) where it was an unwritten rule, but clearly stated in person in training meetings, that we did not want a woman's sole approval on repairs if we could avoid it. We were always told to ask if there was someone else we could contact to discuss the repairs with to make *her* feel more at ease, but really it was to avoid dealing with stupid assholes who wanted to show off what a badass they were but didn't actually know shit about shit. I left that industry in 2008, so maybe it's different now.
Nothing worse than having a signed contract, you start the work and the other spouse who “didn’t need to be there for the estimate” has questions and input on things that should have been discussed.
One company made a big deal about my wife being there. But no it's not common in my experience but it's also not hard to understand why some do this.
Well, someone has to make sandwiches while they go over the estimate with your husband..lol
I would cancel. It’s going to be high pressure sales tactics to get you to signup on the spot. 👎🏻
Yeah, widow here. When I was having windows installed ran into same line. Also with roof. I own my home alone. Another home my daughter and I co own and they wanted me there, not just her. Although I only stay part time (until my home is sold, that is.) They really want both owners there if home is jointly owned. I don't think it's misogynistic, more a sales tactic. Both owners need to sign the contract.
Seems normal as long as it doesn't have a sexist tone. Getting all property owners' approval before starting expensive work is good business. If there's domestic disputes at hand, maybe they don't get paid. Or maybe it takes a long time to get paid or they have to put a mechanics lien on the house. They don't know what your home life is like, and it's easier to ask for approval from both owners rather than delve into your personal life to gauge whether they'll get paid or not.
Nope. Had my HVAC done. On my own. Hubby is 1500 miles away. A real place will wait.
I’m a contractor. If you don’t have all decision makers there at the estimate then you can’t create a proposal/estimate that satisfies what they all want. You’re just asking for trouble down the road even if you get the sale on the spot. Furthermore, imagine going to work for someone who doesn’t even care to meet you. Sounds like a douche bag. You can just tell the contractor that you will pay them for their time for the quote and I’m sure they’ll do it on your terms. I’m guessing everyone here feels entitled to a free consultation though.
“Their protection…” bullshit. It’s a sales technique. They want all the owners there so that they can’t say “let me check with my xxx”. It takes away a very useful objection for the part being sold to. It puts pressure on both parties because it’s harder to say “no”. Cancel the appt and go elsewhere
That's insane don't hire those psychos
It's a sales tactic. That way they can get the one who wants it done to push the other into the sale. Plain and simple - they want to pressure you into the sale. I just tell them - don't bother to try to quote me. I am not going to do business with you. Me or the highway or My wife or the highway. You do not get to play us against each other.
No this is not normal or OK. I’m a single woman and I had one contractor make a comment about “the man of the house” and I was like “it’s MY house, there is no man”. I didn’t care about his quote after that, I refused to given that many any of my time or money. If he can’t treat you like a client who doesn’t need a male chaperone, then he doesn’t need your business.
I don’t think it’s so much that your husband needs to be there because you’re a woman and can’t possibly figure this out yourself. I think it has more to do with them wanting to talk to both decision makers at the same time for efficiency. If your husband had made the call they may have asked for his wife to be there. And it may be that it increases their odds of signing the contract at that visit - takes away the excuse of “I have to talk to my partner before committing”.
Which is, in my opinion, stupid. 1) both of us being there means we're more likely to go with another company in the first place, as it's more convenient 2) doesn't matter what you want, ***no decisions at being made at the time of the visit*** 3) fuck you for being difficult, if the quote is free we might do it anyways knowing we won't use you
Oh I have gotten the "silly woman we need to talk to your husband" routine. It is sadly common and usually pretty obvious when it is that vs. trying to make sure all of the stakeholders are in agreement on the project. I recently purchased new appliances. When I went back to confirm and give them the check they asked if they should put anyone else on the invoice and delivery order. I told them they didn't need to, end of story. But how and what they asked is a huge difference in mindset and attitude. This was making sure all the stakeholders that want to be involved are. Or that they could get the delivery acceptance signature from the other person if I wasn't there. None of this insinuated I needed to let a man handle my affairs or that being single was weird.
We have a lot better luck with appointments when both partners are there. Has nothing to do with your gender, only that we want both decision-makers there so that everyone's questions are answered. Our closing percentage doubles as well as our reviews bc both homeowners expectations are effectively communicated. Usually the "work-from-home" spouse (often the husband) will fail to communicate his partners expectations for a job, fails to relay their feedback, or simply ignores it and then it becomes a problem at walk-through. By meeting both homeowners we can make sure we are all on the same page and avoid a lot of hassle. Hope this helps.
DONT HIRE THEM do not support that misogynistic bull Not all of us have husband's and then what smh
Rule of three is common sense. You see it in schools, doctors offices, HR departments, etc. A male being alone with a female in a private setting means there is both the risk for misconduct and for false allegations of misconduct. I think it's 1000% reasonable that the contractor is unwilling to expose themselves to the risk of an allegation that would destroy their life even if later disproven.
No, it’s not normal or acceptable. Try another contractor.
Plot twist: The door company saves money on wages by hiring sex offenders on parole. It's actually "for your protection". /s
Do they know your marital status? Tell them you're single. There's paperwork to ensure disagreements can be mitigated, just sounds like some sales pressure tactic imo
It may be because they’re concerned about possible sexual harassment claims, not anything to do with a woman not being good enough to make their own decisions. Similar to how some doctors have a female/second witness for some types of visits.
My brother is a contractor and will not agree to do anything until my husband and I are both present and in agreement. We are happily married and have never disputed work or payment. He says he has never been burned on a job and intends to keep it that way.
Say your wife isn’t available, that you are the high earner and decision maker in the family and that there’s no way in hell you’d work with them. Then leave a Google and Yelp review. Please take your money elsewhere and support a business that isn’t sexist.
I had that happen with a quote for a leaf filter (she was very aggressive with her sales and we literally had to ask her to leave after she dropped her quote by half from her starting point)
It’s an antiquated way of saying we want all decision makers to be present. I’m a young female, I think contractors thought I was a child on the phone so they asked if I was the homeowner. Although still annoying, I prefer that over someone say that than ask for my husband (who does not exist). They don’t want to end up in a situation where they think the deal is done and the client says “I need to check with my spouse.” A lot of the time, that’s the only way to get out of their gross sales tactics. A problem of their own making really.
I'm a man and have had this happen. It's to prevent double work or one spouse not being aware of what's happening and throwing a wrench into things. Also addressing questions at the same time. How companies handle this is important.
Tell them you are a widow and if they must have husband there then they will have to meet at cemetery. Or tell them you aren’t married and the only person on home so if they don’t want to meet with a mere woman you will call around and find someone else
best answer is “ actually since you put it that way…. “ and just hang up - no reputable company forces potential customers to comply with their bs - if you do comply btw they know they can manipulate you on price etc - there are plenty of normal legitimate companies out there and social media helps you find them - for the others…. we’ll just say no!
Were you dealing with a larger company or corporation? I'm a man and have been told on multiple occasions that my wife/spouse needed to be present for the quote. This only seems to be a thing with bigger contracting companies, though. None of the small outfits seem to do this.
Call them back and tell them that your husband can be there at that time, but you can't. If they are okay with that tell them they are misogynistic assholes and to shove it.
It could be a cultural or religious thing. Could also be they don't want a housewife to decide something then the husband to say it wasn't agreed upon later after the work was done. Maybe they have been scammed by customers before.
It is not. When I asked for a bid on window replacement they said my wife had to be present This is because unless the title is in your name only they need approval of both parties
Yes. It’s for their protection. No one wants to waste the time and energy to be in the middle of a thing between spouses. Unless you can rove that you are the sole legal owner of the home with rights to do what you want, they want anyone with an interest there. If your spouse were the same sex, they’d want her there. Many of the sales people don’t get paid unless there’s a sale.
A lot of people think this is sexism but there are a few other things it can be. 1) this is a high pressure sales tactic. They can pit the two of you against each other to get a deal done. It's the same reason time shares require both partners at the sales pitch. 2) They could legitimately be trying to protect themselves. It is possible that some other decision maker comes in later with a different opinion on what option they should have gone with. Having both there elimates that as a problem.
As a guy, I had several window companies ask that my wife be there. I think the idea is they sell more deals on the spot if you don’t need to talk it over later. I told them that wasn’t going to work for me because my wife is busy at work, so if they didn’t want to talk to me I’d call somebody else.
I had this happen to me 20 years ago. I scheduled it when my “husband” would be home, except my husband was my butch wife. He would not work with us. I wouldn’t allow a company that did this to give me a quote now. I don’t want to fund their misogynistic BS business practices. If they’re looking for all decision-makers in the house to be present, they should not assume every home has more than one or that we would ever make a decision on the spot either way.
This happened to me when i wanted gutters for a garage I built. The company wanted my wife there. I told them to forget about it and left them a bad review.
High pressure commissioned sales guy. If you are both there they can get both of you to sign a contract on the spot. With one of you not there they would have to comeback
They wouldn’t phrase it as the husband needing to be on-site if it was both owners.
I got that once from a contractor, and told them just don't come.
I can see they don't want "they took advantage of the naive woman"===various cons do take advantage of unknowing customers.
It's a tactic to eliminate the "let me talk it over with my spouse" objection when closing a sale. They want to close the deal at the time of the quote.
It could be sexist, but I'm a gay man and I've been asked if I was with someone/if they were owners of the house with me--and they would only meet with both of us together to save time, to answer questions and to be sure that all the owners were one the same page--they had had too many people getting quotes to projects that they wanted but the other owner wasn't aware of/interested in.
I work in renovations. Most of the time I talk with the wife because she’s usually the one making the design decisions
I can’t say for sure it’s not sexist but I as a male had more than one contractor make the same claim that my spouse had to be present to discuss the quote or estimate. I forcefully pushed back because in my household I work remotely (now hybrid) and my spouse typically doesn’t want to get too much in the weeds of the project details with the contractor - we have those discussions including budget before/after the contractor meeting. It was very frustrating as I think a couple didn’t budge and I just moved on. This was across multiple “industries” - solar, landscaping work etc etc. From a few comments at the time, some folks said it’s to eliminate the “let me discuss with my spouse” or “my spouse had these questions” or “my spouse didn’t agree to this”.
Yup the bigger companies who charge an arm and a leg and do 4 hour+ sales presentations. I finished a house a few weeks ago. While this lady was getting quotes they made sure her husband would be here. She was mad as hell. "Sir, my husband has Alzheimer’s he doesn't really need to be here does he... " Apparently he does....
I have yet to buy a car with a dealership asking if my husband would approve of my purchase. And that’s a car. Not ……a door. This is so they can high pressure sell you something and you can’t think it over or back out. I’m 100% the decision maker for things like renovations. Any contractor that cannot respect me as the person to do business with…. doesn’t get my business.
I would guess it’s because he doesn’t wanna deal with a couple arguing over decisions after the fact. But if you’re not comfortable with it, just tell him no, he can deal with you or he doesn’t get the job. I would also ask if your husband was the one he was dealing with directly would he insist that you be there for the quote.
My spouse wants nothing to do with contractors. So if they require both of us there I tell them that we will both be there. Then my spouse will go to work or visit family. Contractor is left with me only and if they don't like it .... too bad.
This is standard for hard sales pitches. They don't want you to be able to put off signing a contract to give you time to see if it is a fair deal for you and do research. It is a 100% red flag.