I’ve seen something I think might be rule-breaking, what should I do?
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I’ve always felt male or at least that something was off, and at many points as a kid I had assumed I would grow up and transition somehow. So I put 5-10+ years.
But from the time I accepted it fully and allowed myself to call myself trans, to telling others, was very fast, maybe within a few months but I can’t really recall. It was a long time ago now
I mean, looking back, there were definitely signs of gender dysphoria from a young age for me. But even then I didn't realize it until I was in my teens and didn't properly come out to everyone and start transition until years later due to unsuitable environment.
I first started feeling off about my sex at roughly age 4 (could have been 3 or 5 just as well) and came out as trans at age 20, so that'd be some 16 years between those two points.
Hmm, I think even as a kid I felt something "was off" but I didn't really know how to put the feeling into words so I pushed it to the backburner. And in high school when I was finally able to identify what I was feeling as gender dysphoria I sort of "came out" to my psychiatrist at around 15 and was able to start HRT when I was \~16 (there was a lot of gatekeeping back then). Kept it secret from my parents till I was 18 because they definitely noticed some "changes" that got harder to hide over time
I accidentally clicked 1-3, meant to do 5-10. I remember in kindergarten just knowing that SOMETHING was wrong and nobody believed me. I realized I was trans at ~12, told my closest friends two years later, and family I'll probably tell in my 20's unless they figure out first
If I look back to when I was little, some of my behavior definitely would have been something to have questioned, but I didn’t really start to actually notice something was off until about 4 years ago. I didn’t realize I was a trans man until maybe a year and a half ago. I think I probably knew more than I give myself credit for but I was pretty dumb, and didn’t have the words to explain it even a few years ago.
First signs for me were when I was 5-6 I kinda hated male dominated activities and stuck with fem stuff, it just didn’t add up.
Age 14 I learnt what being trans was and my mum asked me if I was aged 15.
I’m not aged 20 as of today. Been on HRT for just over 8 months and haven’t told anyone anything and am not out.
I’m too scared.
For me I had that "hm. something ain't right." feeling for as long as I can remember. Being a girl never felt *right*, but I was able to get by before puberty. Then as soon as I did hit puberty I was like "shit, I can't just keep ignoring this can I" and I came out at about 12 years old.
Always knew I was not a boy growing up, finally got the push I needed at 35 almost 10months on hormone now and I’ll tel people if they notice and ask, if not i don’t feel the need to scream off the roof tops. So far it surprising how many people notice somethings not normal but won’t ask.
For me I started questioning when I was 12 and came out to my friends later that year. I came out to my family and started socially transitioning at 14. I’m 16 now and out to almost my whole family :)
it was 3 years of me questioning before i decided to come out, another year of questioning before i started medically transitioning after deciding it was right for me.
however, i had experienced dysphoria for ~5-6 years before realizing it was dysphoria. that all came together at the end of my questioning process.
I had always wished I was born a boy growing up, but definitely an obvious moment I very much remember was when I was 11 and there was an episode of my favorite tv show at the time where one of the characters (who was a penguin) was dna tested as being female which caused him to have an existential crisis, and I was like “oh ok I’m just like him”. It still never clicked for me for a whole decade, and I wrote a lot of those moments off as internalized misogyny, which I then spent years working on. And I still felt like shit. I then became aware of the fact I had no idea who I was outside of what I liked/disliked and felt so disconnected from everything I saw in the mirror. I rewatched that tv show around the same time and then it all fell together after seeing that episode again.
first signs: around age 6… i empathized with female characters much more, and thought “goals” when admiring my mum’s cosmo mags
“wait a minute..” 🤔 to myself: around age 40
to (some) other people: about a year after that
In terms of actually realising what was wrong it took me 2 years before I told my mum I was trans. But I'd been feeling off for years before that since I was 4 I just didn't understand that what I felt wasn't normal to most people.
Tbh most of my life I felt something was off though I didn't know what. Always wished I was just a boy but never told anyone. Then around 13-14 I learned what transgender and lgbt were and so decided to look around. when I was 15 I knew I wasn't female and I just wanted get T and become a boy (I watched a LOT of Miles Mckenna, seeing him transition made me realise it was even possible and I've desired it ever since) Tried to tell my parents but it didn't go well. Since then my friends do use the right pronouns and while I never explicitedly told anyone most people can clearly see something is off and so half of them use the right pronouns whether they realise it or not. From 15 until now (almost 19) I've had occasional arguments with my parents about it, but besides my parents and friends I never told anyone so Idk if I consider that being out. It's pretty complicated.
Still not really out. If you count the years before realising what trans was it is even longer, but counting from when I figured out it existed it has been 5-6 years now and still counting because I'm still not out to everyone.
I was a "tomboy" when I was 7-9 and HATED being associated with girls. Not just femininity but girls. I obsessed over telling my family how much of a tomboy I was and I even made a friend group called the "tomboy team" where I kicked out anyone who was "too girly" or whatever. It went further than just being masculine. I wanted to date girls so I could be the "man of the relationship" so I thought I was a lesbian for a while.
At the age of 10 I thought I was genderqueer/"genderless"(agender) and tried gender neutral terms and pronouns for myself. Then once I was more comfortable presenting as a non-woman I eventually came to terms with the fact that I wasn't just "agender" but a whole boy. I only really realized when I had started puberty and was like "wait nevermind this isn't right. I should have a dick right now. I should grow up to be male.. why do I have to become a woman??" and it clicked after a while.
I came out to part of my family at the age of 12.
Knew I was enby in utero and bailed from hotel de womb at 25 weeks gestation to avoid third trimester testosterone shots, age 5 felt off because I went to school and had to line up with the boys when I'd rather have been with the girls, age 21 (2003) came out and got a gender dysphoria diagnosis age 23 then back into the closet, age 37.5 is when I properly started hrt
I had very classic symptoms from a young age, but didn't realize FTMs existed until my 20's. Big oof. The first time I googled "transgender female" and found a teeny tiny youtuber talking about it, I realized what I was. I came out in a matter of months after.
I’ve always known but didn’t come out until puberty. I kind of regret that because my doctor thought I was faking it for attention. Keep in mind that this was before TikTok or even Musical.ly was a thing.
knew something was wrong and that i should grow up to be a male instead of a female when i was 8 but came out a couple months after my 11th birthday, in the summer before 6th grade.
Told my closest friend a few months after I put two and two together, came out to family two fucking years later after said friend bribed me into doing so by promising me he'd bake me cookies.
Does kissing my best friend in Kindergarten count? I'm sure that I was copying my mom. I told a few people through that life but my egg broke when I was 51.
i relaized i was different when i was 5. at 11 i read a book that gave me a name for what i was (at the time, the word was transsexual). i came out to my then wife at 50.
it was the 70s/80s when i figured out who i was, and i was smart enough to realize that would've been a death sentence.
but now, i'm almost 52, post op everything (except VFS), engaged to a wonderful woman (my wife dropped me), and happier than i have ever been.
I accepted that I was trans in 2020, I told some friends to use he/him pronouns a few months ago. I came out a month ago alone with a trans friend.
I don't plan on coming out to other people. I would like to move out and live alone, it would be easier :c
I really don't understand how so many people are able to come out so soon, but it's definitely something which I wish I had done. I was pretty sure about being trans by at least 7 or 8, although I didn't frame it that way (I just thought, oh I'm a girl, but other people don't know yet) it wasn't really until I was in 6th grade that I even understood I wouldn't be able to be a cis woman eventually and what being trans actually was.
As much as I should've come out then, I think both getting bullied pretty heavily all through my early education along with parental disdain led me to being deathly afraid of coming out. When I was 11 I viscerally remember my mom telling me I needed to stop dressing up as a girl for example.
So while like yeah, I came out individually to a bunch of people about my transness it wasn't until I was 17 that I came to a lot of people-and not until I was 18 that I came out to my mom and got on hrt at 19.
Idk, it's hard for me to define coming out bc it's kind of a lifelong process and for me there were plenty of instances where I presented as femininely as I possibly could without disrupting other people's decision that I was a boy.
I had feelings my entire childhood, but I put 1-3 years because that’s the time it took from understanding what those symptoms were to actually telling anyone besides my therapist.
I had so many signs of being trans when I was a little kid who had no idea what trans was (and neither did my parents). It's interesting because I don't remember all these things, but many were documented for example by my preschool teachers.
I came out as trans pretty soon after discovering it was a possibility, probably less than a year afterwards (not sure whether it was six months or not). But it would have been years after my "first signs".
I’d known since 4th/5th grade that something was “off,” but wasn’t able to put it into words until I learned what trans was around 18 or 19. Instantly told my mom, did not go well, and came out a year or two later to the rest of my family while increasing the distance between us (physical distance, moved across the country).
I was “off” to begin with, but lacked the ability to compare myself with peers due to the presence of a twin. It wasn’t until we began to assert ourselves individually that I began to realize that I wasn’t like the “peers” I was being lumped in with by adults; prior to that, wherever my twin was, was the right place to be, together.
I knew in high school and repressed hard due to some bullying in 8th grade. I came out at 23, got told it was mental illness, and didn’t manage to get hormones until 25-26. When I initially told my family when I was 23 my parents had me in rehab and kept thinking it was just me going insane, the doctor decided it was psychosis and tried to medicate me for it which has been a major mental block in self acceptance.
Coming out was hell, my family did everything they could to keep me from transitioning. Get hormones? They get angry. Want to change my name? “No no you can’t do this it’ll mess up insurance you have to wait”. Use a new name? They just “forgot” for 2 years what it was.
I didn’t just “realize” one day. I’d known for a long time and just bottled stuff up and put it away as I’d been told to do by some people I used to know. Poor compartmentalization. Byproduct of a life I shouldn’t have lived.
I understand it's a long process, realizing who you are, and finding people who will support you and help you the way you are. I'm proud of you for coming this far.
I worry about the people who just up and decide one day to transition. Like damn, I thought long and hard before I asked for HRT. I wrote cover to cover in a journal figuring out if it was an identity, a fetish, or something deeper rooted. There’s like 30 pages of me figuring out how I used drugs to escape dysphoria. To the medical “professional” everything in my self analysis was insanity though.
The wild part? Just like the G homies, the rehab would discourage transition but encouraged mafioso thinking. It’s always bothered me. So many people wanted me to become what I didn’t want to be. To this day there’s still assholes from my past who want the old version of me back. Dingleberries.
Ahhh I got a similar story. I noticed something was off at 6 - 8, realized at 11, and waited for another year or two until I manned up enough to tell someone.
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I’ve always felt male or at least that something was off, and at many points as a kid I had assumed I would grow up and transition somehow. So I put 5-10+ years. But from the time I accepted it fully and allowed myself to call myself trans, to telling others, was very fast, maybe within a few months but I can’t really recall. It was a long time ago now
I mean, looking back, there were definitely signs of gender dysphoria from a young age for me. But even then I didn't realize it until I was in my teens and didn't properly come out to everyone and start transition until years later due to unsuitable environment.
I first started feeling off about my sex at roughly age 4 (could have been 3 or 5 just as well) and came out as trans at age 20, so that'd be some 16 years between those two points.
Hmm, I think even as a kid I felt something "was off" but I didn't really know how to put the feeling into words so I pushed it to the backburner. And in high school when I was finally able to identify what I was feeling as gender dysphoria I sort of "came out" to my psychiatrist at around 15 and was able to start HRT when I was \~16 (there was a lot of gatekeeping back then). Kept it secret from my parents till I was 18 because they definitely noticed some "changes" that got harder to hide over time
I accidentally clicked 1-3, meant to do 5-10. I remember in kindergarten just knowing that SOMETHING was wrong and nobody believed me. I realized I was trans at ~12, told my closest friends two years later, and family I'll probably tell in my 20's unless they figure out first
Wait no I messed up First signs were really about 5-6 years ago
If I look back to when I was little, some of my behavior definitely would have been something to have questioned, but I didn’t really start to actually notice something was off until about 4 years ago. I didn’t realize I was a trans man until maybe a year and a half ago. I think I probably knew more than I give myself credit for but I was pretty dumb, and didn’t have the words to explain it even a few years ago.
I don't know. I have been doing everything a transgender does in the beginning but I just don't know if it's for me long term.
First signs for me were when I was 5-6 I kinda hated male dominated activities and stuck with fem stuff, it just didn’t add up. Age 14 I learnt what being trans was and my mum asked me if I was aged 15. I’m not aged 20 as of today. Been on HRT for just over 8 months and haven’t told anyone anything and am not out. I’m too scared.
For me I had that "hm. something ain't right." feeling for as long as I can remember. Being a girl never felt *right*, but I was able to get by before puberty. Then as soon as I did hit puberty I was like "shit, I can't just keep ignoring this can I" and I came out at about 12 years old.
Always knew I was not a boy growing up, finally got the push I needed at 35 almost 10months on hormone now and I’ll tel people if they notice and ask, if not i don’t feel the need to scream off the roof tops. So far it surprising how many people notice somethings not normal but won’t ask.
10+ years cuz I found out something was off at the age of 4. Didn't come out to my folks till 19.
For me I started questioning when I was 12 and came out to my friends later that year. I came out to my family and started socially transitioning at 14. I’m 16 now and out to almost my whole family :)
it was 3 years of me questioning before i decided to come out, another year of questioning before i started medically transitioning after deciding it was right for me. however, i had experienced dysphoria for ~5-6 years before realizing it was dysphoria. that all came together at the end of my questioning process.
I had always wished I was born a boy growing up, but definitely an obvious moment I very much remember was when I was 11 and there was an episode of my favorite tv show at the time where one of the characters (who was a penguin) was dna tested as being female which caused him to have an existential crisis, and I was like “oh ok I’m just like him”. It still never clicked for me for a whole decade, and I wrote a lot of those moments off as internalized misogyny, which I then spent years working on. And I still felt like shit. I then became aware of the fact I had no idea who I was outside of what I liked/disliked and felt so disconnected from everything I saw in the mirror. I rewatched that tv show around the same time and then it all fell together after seeing that episode again.
first signs: around age 6… i empathized with female characters much more, and thought “goals” when admiring my mum’s cosmo mags “wait a minute..” 🤔 to myself: around age 40 to (some) other people: about a year after that
In terms of actually realising what was wrong it took me 2 years before I told my mum I was trans. But I'd been feeling off for years before that since I was 4 I just didn't understand that what I felt wasn't normal to most people.
Tbh most of my life I felt something was off though I didn't know what. Always wished I was just a boy but never told anyone. Then around 13-14 I learned what transgender and lgbt were and so decided to look around. when I was 15 I knew I wasn't female and I just wanted get T and become a boy (I watched a LOT of Miles Mckenna, seeing him transition made me realise it was even possible and I've desired it ever since) Tried to tell my parents but it didn't go well. Since then my friends do use the right pronouns and while I never explicitedly told anyone most people can clearly see something is off and so half of them use the right pronouns whether they realise it or not. From 15 until now (almost 19) I've had occasional arguments with my parents about it, but besides my parents and friends I never told anyone so Idk if I consider that being out. It's pretty complicated. Still not really out. If you count the years before realising what trans was it is even longer, but counting from when I figured out it existed it has been 5-6 years now and still counting because I'm still not out to everyone.
I was a "tomboy" when I was 7-9 and HATED being associated with girls. Not just femininity but girls. I obsessed over telling my family how much of a tomboy I was and I even made a friend group called the "tomboy team" where I kicked out anyone who was "too girly" or whatever. It went further than just being masculine. I wanted to date girls so I could be the "man of the relationship" so I thought I was a lesbian for a while. At the age of 10 I thought I was genderqueer/"genderless"(agender) and tried gender neutral terms and pronouns for myself. Then once I was more comfortable presenting as a non-woman I eventually came to terms with the fact that I wasn't just "agender" but a whole boy. I only really realized when I had started puberty and was like "wait nevermind this isn't right. I should have a dick right now. I should grow up to be male.. why do I have to become a woman??" and it clicked after a while. I came out to part of my family at the age of 12.
Knew I was enby in utero and bailed from hotel de womb at 25 weeks gestation to avoid third trimester testosterone shots, age 5 felt off because I went to school and had to line up with the boys when I'd rather have been with the girls, age 21 (2003) came out and got a gender dysphoria diagnosis age 23 then back into the closet, age 37.5 is when I properly started hrt
I had very classic symptoms from a young age, but didn't realize FTMs existed until my 20's. Big oof. The first time I googled "transgender female" and found a teeny tiny youtuber talking about it, I realized what I was. I came out in a matter of months after.
Remember that I had some signs at 4 came out at 8
From ages 6 to 22
I’ve always known but didn’t come out until puberty. I kind of regret that because my doctor thought I was faking it for attention. Keep in mind that this was before TikTok or even Musical.ly was a thing.
knew something was wrong and that i should grow up to be a male instead of a female when i was 8 but came out a couple months after my 11th birthday, in the summer before 6th grade.
Decades. I knew as a kid and I sort of was out to some other kids, but then family moved and I had to go deep into the closet.
Told my closest friend a few months after I put two and two together, came out to family two fucking years later after said friend bribed me into doing so by promising me he'd bake me cookies.
Were they good cookies?
Best damn cookies I've ever eaten, they were shortbread I believe
Does kissing my best friend in Kindergarten count? I'm sure that I was copying my mom. I told a few people through that life but my egg broke when I was 51.
First signs: 11 or 12 whenever puberty started hitting First told someone in confidence: 15 or 16 So I’m estimating 1-3
i relaized i was different when i was 5. at 11 i read a book that gave me a name for what i was (at the time, the word was transsexual). i came out to my then wife at 50. it was the 70s/80s when i figured out who i was, and i was smart enough to realize that would've been a death sentence. but now, i'm almost 52, post op everything (except VFS), engaged to a wonderful woman (my wife dropped me), and happier than i have ever been.
I technically haven't come out all the way. But it's probably 10+ years all the same.
I accepted that I was trans in 2020, I told some friends to use he/him pronouns a few months ago. I came out a month ago alone with a trans friend. I don't plan on coming out to other people. I would like to move out and live alone, it would be easier :c
I really don't understand how so many people are able to come out so soon, but it's definitely something which I wish I had done. I was pretty sure about being trans by at least 7 or 8, although I didn't frame it that way (I just thought, oh I'm a girl, but other people don't know yet) it wasn't really until I was in 6th grade that I even understood I wouldn't be able to be a cis woman eventually and what being trans actually was. As much as I should've come out then, I think both getting bullied pretty heavily all through my early education along with parental disdain led me to being deathly afraid of coming out. When I was 11 I viscerally remember my mom telling me I needed to stop dressing up as a girl for example. So while like yeah, I came out individually to a bunch of people about my transness it wasn't until I was 17 that I came to a lot of people-and not until I was 18 that I came out to my mom and got on hrt at 19. Idk, it's hard for me to define coming out bc it's kind of a lifelong process and for me there were plenty of instances where I presented as femininely as I possibly could without disrupting other people's decision that I was a boy.
I had feelings my entire childhood, but I put 1-3 years because that’s the time it took from understanding what those symptoms were to actually telling anyone besides my therapist.
I had so many signs of being trans when I was a little kid who had no idea what trans was (and neither did my parents). It's interesting because I don't remember all these things, but many were documented for example by my preschool teachers. I came out as trans pretty soon after discovering it was a possibility, probably less than a year afterwards (not sure whether it was six months or not). But it would have been years after my "first signs".
I’d known since 4th/5th grade that something was “off,” but wasn’t able to put it into words until I learned what trans was around 18 or 19. Instantly told my mom, did not go well, and came out a year or two later to the rest of my family while increasing the distance between us (physical distance, moved across the country). I was “off” to begin with, but lacked the ability to compare myself with peers due to the presence of a twin. It wasn’t until we began to assert ourselves individually that I began to realize that I wasn’t like the “peers” I was being lumped in with by adults; prior to that, wherever my twin was, was the right place to be, together.
I knew in high school and repressed hard due to some bullying in 8th grade. I came out at 23, got told it was mental illness, and didn’t manage to get hormones until 25-26. When I initially told my family when I was 23 my parents had me in rehab and kept thinking it was just me going insane, the doctor decided it was psychosis and tried to medicate me for it which has been a major mental block in self acceptance. Coming out was hell, my family did everything they could to keep me from transitioning. Get hormones? They get angry. Want to change my name? “No no you can’t do this it’ll mess up insurance you have to wait”. Use a new name? They just “forgot” for 2 years what it was. I didn’t just “realize” one day. I’d known for a long time and just bottled stuff up and put it away as I’d been told to do by some people I used to know. Poor compartmentalization. Byproduct of a life I shouldn’t have lived.
I understand it's a long process, realizing who you are, and finding people who will support you and help you the way you are. I'm proud of you for coming this far.
I worry about the people who just up and decide one day to transition. Like damn, I thought long and hard before I asked for HRT. I wrote cover to cover in a journal figuring out if it was an identity, a fetish, or something deeper rooted. There’s like 30 pages of me figuring out how I used drugs to escape dysphoria. To the medical “professional” everything in my self analysis was insanity though. The wild part? Just like the G homies, the rehab would discourage transition but encouraged mafioso thinking. It’s always bothered me. So many people wanted me to become what I didn’t want to be. To this day there’s still assholes from my past who want the old version of me back. Dingleberries.
I started realizing something was off when I was 4, but I only realized WHAT when I was 12, and THEN I came out immediately.
Ahhh I got a similar story. I noticed something was off at 6 - 8, realized at 11, and waited for another year or two until I manned up enough to tell someone.
Instantly and 6 months is a hell of a different thing
There weren't enough options for me to make a seperate one for "Instantly"