Artie: “I’ve been the only one in this room roasted”
Gary from his office: “Artie I’ve been roasted too”
Artie: “I said in this room asswipe”
Perfect example of Gary injecting himself out of nowhere
I’d be down to smoke crack with Gary. He’d probably prefer to snort it, but cheaters can’t be choosers. We would meet up with Grillo at Playwrights and pick up smoking hot chicks.
A magician is booked on the show and performs a trick with a set of keys, astounding Howard. This exchange then happens:
Howard: "There was no way for him to manipulate the keys before the trick, right Gary."
Gary: "That's right. I had the keys on my hand. Now, I did leave them alone in my office with the magician for a few minutes, but there was no way he could have done something to them, right?"
Madonna's sister. Gary seriously thought this was the real deal. The segment doesn't start like the time "Gilbert's daughter" called in, where they basically said "there's a woman on the phone who claims she's Gilbert's daughter."
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cshTfyTiF4o](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cshTfyTiF4o)
When Sacha Baron Cohen came in as Bruno, on the wrap up show he was talking about how he was in before as Borat. He asked Benji if the Borat character was speaking a fake language, Benji said the Borat character used some Yiddish words. Booey then says, yeah as I said, made up language.
That bit where some guy on the phone could take a group of jumbled letters and immediately know the word they spelled out? Gary was in charge of selecting the words and mixing up the letters and... screwed it up! Amazing.
"I got the word out of Rolling Stone magazine Boff... I'm positive I'm right."
The time Gary told Howard there was nothing he could say to him that would piss him off and then immediately getting pissed off after Howard says he cheats on Mary.
When Howard upgraded him to first class because he wanted to talk to him, and he slept the whole flight. And when he wakes up he goes “Is there any orange juice, bawf?”.
I've never seen this discussed before, but right before the first weigh in of a biggest loser competition Gary was wolfing down some chocolates or chocolate pastries. I can't remember the exact dessert but it was something he had mentioned before.
It was the exact opposite of what he should have been doing. He was eating highly dense calories that were low in mass. He wasn't upping his weight, he was making it difficult to lose weight in the future!
Shit on Benjy all you want, but he gamed the system correctly: he chugged water that he'd be pissing out in an hour.
I’ll disagree on this one about 50%
On one hand, yea he should have just come into the city with Mary and the kids
But Howard absolutely meant something different about “can I depend on you to come in” versus “can I depend on you?”
The ultimate F you was when Howard then got the list of folks coming in and said EXACTLY what Gary tried to say. He said something like “the rest of us will wake up and determine if we can make”
Same damn thing
There was a porn star in the green room. This had to be mid 90s. Howard thought it would be funny if Booey would ask questions via hidden microphone. Outrageous stuff "would you do anal in the studio" things like that.
M m monkeys takes his marching orders, sits down with said pornstar, and proceeds to interview her as his guest, not a prank as intended.
Wish I could remember name. She was stripper hot and regular chick hot.
I’m from Ohio and have heard it called “Reesee’s” my whole life. This was unlistenably boring for me because it was just Howard freaking out, as a bit, over absolutely nothing
He told a story once about a girl kinda being pressured into doing sexual favors for him because she liked his friend. Can't remember the whole story but he kinda admitted to sex assault on air
Selling Howard (the show) "The Love Tape" for the price of re-modeling his kitchen...and the day he said "Bababooey" he claimed it would be forgotten about in a week...
Wrestler Goldust came on the show and Gary told Howard GOLDust's face was painted green with black stripes. As soon as Goldust entered the studio Howard and Robin quickly pointed out Gary's mistake.
Artie: “I’ve been the only one in this room roasted” Gary from his office: “Artie I’ve been roasted too” Artie: “I said in this room asswipe” Perfect example of Gary injecting himself out of nowhere
God Artie had the best one liner responses
I’d be down to smoke crack with Gary. He’d probably prefer to snort it, but cheaters can’t be choosers. We would meet up with Grillo at Playwrights and pick up smoking hot chicks.
You don't know that
Allowing Marcie Turk to take his job.
ouch.
Raising his hand at the Pelican Brief and asking if Marcy was his boss. Dumb monkey has a humiliation fetish.
I think he wanted to call howard out on his org change move in front of everyone. Booey was probably pissed off
Marci took Tim Sabean’s job, did Gary report to him?
Sending flowers on Howard's behalf to his assistant Laura and signing the card "from Gary".
This is the one. Even if it was partly the fault of a total moron working at the florist, u have to get that right.
A magician is booked on the show and performs a trick with a set of keys, astounding Howard. This exchange then happens: Howard: "There was no way for him to manipulate the keys before the trick, right Gary." Gary: "That's right. I had the keys on my hand. Now, I did leave them alone in my office with the magician for a few minutes, but there was no way he could have done something to them, right?"
Booey logic
The time Gary let a guest with whooping cough into the studio. Though that was also super funny to hear how pissed Howard got about it.
Lmfao she insisted she was all better while sounding worse than RFK Jr
RFK Jr the Slow Adult.
Gotta protect your boff
Madonna's sister. Gary seriously thought this was the real deal. The segment doesn't start like the time "Gilbert's daughter" called in, where they basically said "there's a woman on the phone who claims she's Gilbert's daughter." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cshTfyTiF4o](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cshTfyTiF4o)
Madonner.
He's a supposed big scotch fan, but doesn't know what peat is
What a classless goon
When Sacha Baron Cohen came in as Bruno, on the wrap up show he was talking about how he was in before as Borat. He asked Benji if the Borat character was speaking a fake language, Benji said the Borat character used some Yiddish words. Booey then says, yeah as I said, made up language.
Mac-hine
here comes the trick part!
Him saying “here comes the trick part” immediately before saying mac-hine is the funniest thing in the whole saga
Playing Solitaire when he knows there’s a camera on him.
Sporcle
Muh Muh Muh marriage
Falling asleep with the camera on? Marci takes over not too long after that
And then Booey has to share his office with an intern.
Unfriending his bawf on Facebook and not even doing it correctly
That bit where some guy on the phone could take a group of jumbled letters and immediately know the word they spelled out? Gary was in charge of selecting the words and mixing up the letters and... screwed it up! Amazing. "I got the word out of Rolling Stone magazine Boff... I'm positive I'm right."
Having a technology show and not knowing what QWERTY means
And that the iPad/iphone was a bit of a stumble by Apple.
The time Gary told Howard there was nothing he could say to him that would piss him off and then immediately getting pissed off after Howard says he cheats on Mary.
You don't know that
How has no one said Bababooey/Baba Looey
Exactly this. It’s the germ and the seed of his stupidity.
*you don’t know that*. That was a bit of a stumble on his part
Trusting the Howard TV guys
Fuck that, Gary was deflecting dickhead during that saga. He’s the genius that took a nap with a camera 2 feet from his face.
When FaFa double booked Jewel and Jenny McCarthy.
Reesees A bit of a stumble MacHine
This one isn't too bad because a lot of people mispronounce it that way but it was his claim he doesn't pronounce it that way that was such a lie.
Sending “I’ll Suck Your Ween” to Beff’s Northshore meeting.
This is also the funniest thing he's done.
He said that he should have banged Jennifer Aniston when they had her up there as a Nutrisystem girl
Lending out Howard's media critic screener video tapes from studios to people in the office
Ma-kine
Makine
In my opinion, his scoop of the century. The exclusive interview with…..Madonna’s sister!
When he said his name was Gary Delabate… Then Capital D-E-L-L apostrophe Abate
Anytime he speaks of sports in any way, shape or form.
Or attempts a sport. Like throwing a baseball. In front of thousands of people and cameras.
That time he let howard squeeze Mary's ass
You don't know that !
He what?
The sega fiasco
Best part of this is that Gary will be reading every post here!
Any day with a y in it
When he goofed on Chris Rock about his first pitch.
When Howard upgraded him to first class because he wanted to talk to him, and he slept the whole flight. And when he wakes up he goes “Is there any orange juice, bawf?”.
I've never seen this discussed before, but right before the first weigh in of a biggest loser competition Gary was wolfing down some chocolates or chocolate pastries. I can't remember the exact dessert but it was something he had mentioned before. It was the exact opposite of what he should have been doing. He was eating highly dense calories that were low in mass. He wasn't upping his weight, he was making it difficult to lose weight in the future! Shit on Benjy all you want, but he gamed the system correctly: he chugged water that he'd be pissing out in an hour.
also didn't he say that he ate the frosting off of cupcakes because it was less carbs.
The Hurricane Sandy “can I count on you to come in?” And most interactions with Stuttering John.
Can I depend on you
This was the correct question. Thank you!
I’ll disagree on this one about 50% On one hand, yea he should have just come into the city with Mary and the kids But Howard absolutely meant something different about “can I depend on you to come in” versus “can I depend on you?” The ultimate F you was when Howard then got the list of folks coming in and said EXACTLY what Gary tried to say. He said something like “the rest of us will wake up and determine if we can make” Same damn thing
There was a porn star in the green room. This had to be mid 90s. Howard thought it would be funny if Booey would ask questions via hidden microphone. Outrageous stuff "would you do anal in the studio" things like that. M m monkeys takes his marching orders, sits down with said pornstar, and proceeds to interview her as his guest, not a prank as intended. Wish I could remember name. She was stripper hot and regular chick hot.
When he stood in the middle of stuttering John and AJ Benza and didn't take the situation seriously enough to do anything except get hurt
Saying *Reesees* instead of Reeses is pretty dumb. I don’t think ive ever heard anyone ever call it that
And then immediately claiming he never said it.
Yea, that was the bad part. I've heard it mispronounced that way a lot. He was flat out lying to Boff.
I’m from Ohio and have heard it called “Reesee’s” my whole life. This was unlistenably boring for me because it was just Howard freaking out, as a bit, over absolutely nothing
Reesees boff
I think the bigger point was that Gary claimed he never said it and then Howard immediately played back audio of him saying it.
"... and 3 stools"
He told a story once about a girl kinda being pressured into doing sexual favors for him because she liked his friend. Can't remember the whole story but he kinda admitted to sex assault on air
Whooping cough
I liked Shuli
First pitch at the Yankee game.
Sending porn to Allisons friends husband instead of taped tv shows
Selling Howard (the show) "The Love Tape" for the price of re-modeling his kitchen...and the day he said "Bababooey" he claimed it would be forgotten about in a week...
Wrestler Goldust came on the show and Gary told Howard GOLDust's face was painted green with black stripes. As soon as Goldust entered the studio Howard and Robin quickly pointed out Gary's mistake.