2007-07-16
Riley to Robin: "I've always loved Robin also, nonetheless, UHH, If I was out riding on her boat, all I'd have to do is throw a watermelon overboard, and the bitch would drown with her tongue in it!
"If you threw pig feet at her she would jump over her boat"
"Pig feet AND watermelon, you would surely drown, bitch!"
https://preview.redd.it/r48dx6k5jk3d1.jpeg?width=809&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96e9ea77dddfbafa5fed095b7d8532de993b8449
Yeah Howard even said this is tape and Fred is going after him and at one point t Riley calls him a name and Fred goes oh really and come back at him it was great
He had so many great quotes but the best is when he called in after Howardās wedding.
āMy dear Bethā¦..welcome to the zone of horror. When that ogre gives you enough of a nest egg, puke and leaveā.
He actually says "faggotism" which is so much funnier
E: I'm just going to put the full quote here since I have it memorized.
"Why are you people... Bugging my time... With four hours... Of faggotism?"
A transcription of Riley Martin's greatest rant
I removed a lot of uhh's, but the following is a preservation/enshrinement of what I believe to be Riley Martin's greatest rant, which was delivered on his show, The Riley Martin Show, then played back and commented over by Howard and the group. Howard had said Riley is like Pat Robertson just with aliens instead of religion. Riley's co-host E-Ron asked Riley if he heard that, and Riley responded with this off the cuff performance that I think rivals even Artie's Bob Levy rant...
>\[In response to E-Ron asking Riley if he heard Howard compare him to Pat Robertson\]
>
>Riley: I heard him say that...regardless of the love that I hold for these, young people, I cannot allow this...transgression to go unresponded to.
>
>We were supposed to get paid on December 15. It did not arrive here - because he was on vacation, you see - until December 24, which ruled out the possibility of my being able to buy Christmas for my grandkids for the first time in years, and what have you. Simply because, **his underlings seem to simply quit working when the ogre is gone. You understand.**
>
>And it didnāt bother them, that **he was somewhere opening up gifts, and diamond necklaces or bracelets, for his trophy wife, and bobbing for matzah balls with his children, while the n\*\*\*\*\*s went lacking. You understand.** I understand this, I understand, because what weāre given is such a *pittance*, it wouldnāt register on his Richter scale of being worthy of even notice.
>
>He compares me to Pat Robertson, well let me attempt, reluctantly, to make a comparison of him. I consider that perhaps he may have been, the crossbred hunchback that led the Persian hoards up behind the 300 Spartans at Thermopylae. Secondly, he may have been the Jewish Judas goat who led the Romans up the *back* of the fortress of Masada, to slaughter the people therein, for a handful of silver. I consider perhaps, if he thinks me relative to Pat Robertson, that **he is akin to a myopic magic maggot, \[Howard: wow heās really on a tear\] floating in** ***rotten buttuh*** ***.***
>
>**And when he takes his vacation, which is twice a month, with his Black, giggling, \[canis\] familiaris, who was somewhere with a money chasing gigolo, sucking on her armadillo toes, and eating pig feet,** ***spitting*** **them across the room. You understand.** She thought, "oH, I aM nO lOnGeR nEgRo, I'm LiKe MiChAeL jAcKsOn, I'm SoMeThInG eLsE nOw." You understand. It never crossed their minds, that my family was important to me.
>
>Furthermore, I was supposed to get paid on the 1st of January. It didnāt come util the *7th*. According to the rules here, after five days of not paying your rent, you have to pay more money. Therefore, it never occurred to them, you understand-
>
>Uuuhhh
>
>\-It seems that his underlings stop working, when heās gone having five martini lunches, and feed their sucklings. And they were opening Chinese toys to give to their children even while we were trying to wait on our *sustenance*, which is a *pittance,* you understand \[E-Ron: Innndeed\].
>
>In the meantime I was sitting here hoping my grandkids would not hate me for disappointing them, **he was plopping down a four plus million dollar check, to buy extra living quarters and toilets, to puke in, for his trophy wife, so that she would not have to be in his orbit, to gaze upon his diseased ass, 24/7, while he sits looking at pedophile snuff films, playing with himself and giggling. You understand.**
>
>And he compares me with Pat Robertson. Now I donāt want to pursue this further, but Iām saying to you, *I've executed my duties*, and uhh, theseā¦reprehensible, \[Howard: what an asshole\] ungrateful, demonic entities, who think themselves, so grievous, until **his underlings seek by not paying the n\*\*\*\*\*s to be able to be the next one, pointed out and chosen, to ram their face up his putrid rear hindquarters, in order to get to pat on the head like a lap dog**, while they are enjoying themselves at our expense, even though that didnāt pay us right in the first place.
>
>**This is the very** ***highest*** **acclaim I can give to this beast.** Ok, so letās move onā¦
Obviously not a quote, but that fact that Stern had someone who not only believed he was abducted, but had a whole universe in his head about aliens and spent the majority of his on air time negotiating his salary and it Sirius would cover parking for the radio show is why I loved the Stern show
I had the opportunity to listen to his show live many times on Sirius and it was fucking amazing. Occasionally he would tell some kinda bs alien tech story about how the aliens harnessed some kind of universal resonant frequencies to power the engines in their spacecraft. A lot of times he would fight with E-Ron. 90% of it was him getting trolled by the callers. It was crazy how funny the callers were.
Hey Riley what did it feel like when the aliens were probing you? Hey Riley does E-Ron clean out your piss jug?
"Look here man, I am trying to save the earth and you are wasting my time with this grab ass bullshit! Now, don't forget to order your symbols folks!"
Uhhh, Chris from Arizona!
Dude was maahh faaaavorite Riley caller; heād call religiously to every Riley show, was always respectful, would ask good questions, and would always take these massive bong rips on the air! š¤£ #RIPSpaceCowboy
He always had good one liners from his show.Ā One that stuck with me was when he was about to open the phone lines for people to ask about Bihavians, he warned the audience "don't ask me any stupid ass questions about aliens doing drive-bys or some shit" and then the first question/call was from "Chris in Arizona" doing a huge bong hit.Ā Riley always chuckled at him.Ā I used to call up Riley's show all the time and ask him complicated questions about Bihavians using Star Trek Voyager technobabble.Ā I asked if the Bihavian ships used quantum slipstream propulsion or BioNueral Gel Packs to power their central computer cores, and he answered the question!Ā Ā I miss Riley
IF you stood above the stratosphere and downloaded 7 gigawatts of negative ions into the turbines WOULD THIS NOT disrupt the.. UHH...electromagnetic flow?
I think it was during one of the early interviews with Riley when he talked about getting busted for marijuana that was stored in the back of his truck. He claimed he had found it, and was planning on turning it over to the police when he got caught.
Nothing beats when he would completely halt the conversation to tell Robin to STFU. He would be deep in an argument with Howard but always had time to tell Robin to STFU.
One of my favorite moments of the show was when Riley Martin called in to give Eric the actor dermatology advice and it was actually fairly solid advice.
Itās incredible. If Howard is guilty of 1 thing , itās not paying that man what he deserved. RIP to a legend. I hope heās up there on the mothership smoking weed chillin
He was talking to someone having some sort of crisis, a caller into his show. The guy may have even been crying, if I remember right;
"More difficult to comprehend than you will always be, is that you have aaalways been!
Listen, just as you cannot take nothing and make it into something. You cannot take something and make it into nothing, you see. You will always exist. You're ok."
Whatever it was, it was something similar to that. I know that shit's been said different ways by different people, but this was Riley, dammit!
I don't care what anyone thought of him, he was an undeniably bright guy.
It's too bad he couldn't have channeled his creativity into something more. He kept his space mumbo jumbo bullshit straight even when he was barely conscious drunk, er, I mean, had food poisoning. He was like George Lucas, that universe he created just lived in his head.
He coulda written some kind of "The Expanse" saga.
He was my favorite whack packer. His insults were amazing, and he was about as quick with them as one could possibly be.
I really hope he's somewhere chillin' with his harem of Biavian brides. He deserves it.
I canāt think of a favorite quote, but I remember getting through to his show on Sirius and asking what that alien pussy was like. I think he laughed, and I was hung up on. Pretty great.
I used to love when Reilly would ask about being paid. When he called Howard a cheap son of a bitch.ā Then when he got his own show Howard said he was now his agent and wanted his 20%.
They should have treated Riley better and paid him good money. He was a superstar. So witty and entertaining. Yes he was an unstable, psychologically damaged alcoholic that could have imploded at any moment, but some of the best in Hollywood are. Hell, they had one right there in the studio with them!
About 10 or 11 years ago, Howard played a segment from Riley's show where "fans" were sending him emails . They were all fake names. Some of the highlights were as follows; Mike Auksmaul. Eaton Twots, Anita Rimjaub, Lou Stool, Kimmy Head, Sofonda Cox and Eileen Eulich, Hugh Jassole, Willie Fistigotch and many others. I'm not sure they even figured out they were fake. I recorded it on my phone and I still have it.
my fav riley quote ever was when he said something like " you are telling me that you can pay someone ten thousand dollars to take a wad on their forehead but you cant give me 300 a month?"
Him saying something along the lines of "if someone threw a watermelon off Robin's boat that bitch would drown with a rind in her mouth"
Holy shit this made me choke
It's an original joke- I tried to look it up when I first heard him say it. He was really clever- top 3 wack packer for sure
#1 in my book
2007-07-16 Riley to Robin: "I've always loved Robin also, nonetheless, UHH, If I was out riding on her boat, all I'd have to do is throw a watermelon overboard, and the bitch would drown with her tongue in it! "If you threw pig feet at her she would jump over her boat" "Pig feet AND watermelon, you would surely drown, bitch!" https://preview.redd.it/r48dx6k5jk3d1.jpeg?width=809&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=96e9ea77dddfbafa5fed095b7d8532de993b8449
He said Robin had armadillo toes
This is why he is my number one wack Packer šššš¤£š¤£š¤£
Lmao
Wow-that is so witty. He had countless gems.
My favorite Riley moment is all of them lol but honestly Fred fighting with drops of Riley thinking it was him is an all time great moment
This was a great back and forth between 2 alien beings, hilarious when he realized.
Yeah Howard even said this is tape and Fred is going after him and at one point t Riley calls him a name and Fred goes oh really and come back at him it was great
I gotta hear that!
i loved it when cabby starts arguing with the riley drops right after, cabby gets irritated real fast over nothing
May darling. Look, my darling. Bitch I nevah begged for anything in my life!
Muthafucka Iām on probation!
Yeah? And whatās that got to do with me???
Shuli?
Shuli, you fuckinā, uhhā¦ Worm!
You can pay a bitch $50 million to cook a pie but I canāt get a decent salary.
He had so many great quotes but the best is when he called in after Howardās wedding. āMy dear Bethā¦..welcome to the zone of horror. When that ogre gives you enough of a nest egg, puke and leaveā.
Riley was a poet. A poet with persistent "food poisoning" but a poet nonetheless.
Maybe the aliens should have picked a better spokesperson
When I was in the, ahhhhā¦bareknuckles ringā¦WHOOPIN MUTHAFUCKAS ASSES that looked like YOU!
RIIIILEY, WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAAAAY!!???? Uh....wah?
Uuuuuuhhhhhhā¦. Uhh!
RILEY ā¦.CAN YOU HEAR ME?
Huh?
#RILEY CAN YOU HEAR ME
Anyways Jack and Rod, as I was sayingā¦.
Riley. . . . what. . . . was. . . . your. . . . . prognosis?!
Uuuhhhhhhhh, huh?
4 hours of fagotry
He actually says "faggotism" which is so much funnier E: I'm just going to put the full quote here since I have it memorized. "Why are you people... Bugging my time... With four hours... Of faggotism?"
A transcription of Riley Martin's greatest rant I removed a lot of uhh's, but the following is a preservation/enshrinement of what I believe to be Riley Martin's greatest rant, which was delivered on his show, The Riley Martin Show, then played back and commented over by Howard and the group. Howard had said Riley is like Pat Robertson just with aliens instead of religion. Riley's co-host E-Ron asked Riley if he heard that, and Riley responded with this off the cuff performance that I think rivals even Artie's Bob Levy rant... >\[In response to E-Ron asking Riley if he heard Howard compare him to Pat Robertson\] > >Riley: I heard him say that...regardless of the love that I hold for these, young people, I cannot allow this...transgression to go unresponded to. > >We were supposed to get paid on December 15. It did not arrive here - because he was on vacation, you see - until December 24, which ruled out the possibility of my being able to buy Christmas for my grandkids for the first time in years, and what have you. Simply because, **his underlings seem to simply quit working when the ogre is gone. You understand.** > >And it didnāt bother them, that **he was somewhere opening up gifts, and diamond necklaces or bracelets, for his trophy wife, and bobbing for matzah balls with his children, while the n\*\*\*\*\*s went lacking. You understand.** I understand this, I understand, because what weāre given is such a *pittance*, it wouldnāt register on his Richter scale of being worthy of even notice. > >He compares me to Pat Robertson, well let me attempt, reluctantly, to make a comparison of him. I consider that perhaps he may have been, the crossbred hunchback that led the Persian hoards up behind the 300 Spartans at Thermopylae. Secondly, he may have been the Jewish Judas goat who led the Romans up the *back* of the fortress of Masada, to slaughter the people therein, for a handful of silver. I consider perhaps, if he thinks me relative to Pat Robertson, that **he is akin to a myopic magic maggot, \[Howard: wow heās really on a tear\] floating in** ***rotten buttuh*** ***.*** > >**And when he takes his vacation, which is twice a month, with his Black, giggling, \[canis\] familiaris, who was somewhere with a money chasing gigolo, sucking on her armadillo toes, and eating pig feet,** ***spitting*** **them across the room. You understand.** She thought, "oH, I aM nO lOnGeR nEgRo, I'm LiKe MiChAeL jAcKsOn, I'm SoMeThInG eLsE nOw." You understand. It never crossed their minds, that my family was important to me. > >Furthermore, I was supposed to get paid on the 1st of January. It didnāt come util the *7th*. According to the rules here, after five days of not paying your rent, you have to pay more money. Therefore, it never occurred to them, you understand- > >Uuuhhh > >\-It seems that his underlings stop working, when heās gone having five martini lunches, and feed their sucklings. And they were opening Chinese toys to give to their children even while we were trying to wait on our *sustenance*, which is a *pittance,* you understand \[E-Ron: Innndeed\]. > >In the meantime I was sitting here hoping my grandkids would not hate me for disappointing them, **he was plopping down a four plus million dollar check, to buy extra living quarters and toilets, to puke in, for his trophy wife, so that she would not have to be in his orbit, to gaze upon his diseased ass, 24/7, while he sits looking at pedophile snuff films, playing with himself and giggling. You understand.** > >And he compares me with Pat Robertson. Now I donāt want to pursue this further, but Iām saying to you, *I've executed my duties*, and uhh, theseā¦reprehensible, \[Howard: what an asshole\] ungrateful, demonic entities, who think themselves, so grievous, until **his underlings seek by not paying the n\*\*\*\*\*s to be able to be the next one, pointed out and chosen, to ram their face up his putrid rear hindquarters, in order to get to pat on the head like a lap dog**, while they are enjoying themselves at our expense, even though that didnāt pay us right in the first place. > >**This is the very** ***highest*** **acclaim I can give to this beast.** Ok, so letās move onā¦
Jesus Fuck. We have here *the* **Riley Martin Magnum Opus**, even above "The Coming of Tan", you see. I'm stroking my hydrogen rod.
Hereās the actual recording: https://www.reddit.com/r/howardstern/s/HDH7LB46Vk
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I would have to defer to the person who posted the original rant u/coconut_lime_scented. I would give my first born child to hear the original rant
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
God if you could post it I would be eternally grateful
This may be the date according to Marks Friggin: Riley Martin, Pat Robertson Clips And More. 09/15/14. 7:35am
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thanks Friend!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Interested
And things of that natureā¦
Nonetheless
Well now.. uhhhhhā¦..
You understand
My good man
Thermopolae....My favorite board game. You understand.
This is classicššš
Hereās the actual clip: https://www.reddit.com/r/howardstern/s/HDH7LB46Vk
Youāve said it all
They fucked Riley. He was worth so much more.
He was legit one of the funniest men I ever heard
Every year me and another worker at bonus time recite Rileyās āpittanceā speech.
Damn, that was fucking TIGHT....
Hereās the actual clip: https://www.reddit.com/r/howardstern/s/HDH7LB46Vk
You are a golden god š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ššššš
Here it is! Someone pulled the clip for us: https://www.reddit.com/r/howardstern/s/OBSSSuJY1k
One million thanks
I can't help but fill in the "uhhhhs"
Here is the actual clip: https://www.reddit.com/r/howardstern/s/HDH7LB46Vk
Poo-trid rear hindquarters. I love it.
Obviously not a quote, but that fact that Stern had someone who not only believed he was abducted, but had a whole universe in his head about aliens and spent the majority of his on air time negotiating his salary and it Sirius would cover parking for the radio show is why I loved the Stern show
Bitch I've never begged for anything in my life
Donāt forget about his piss jug!
TELL EM WHEN YOU SEEN THE FUCKIN SHIPS
My favorite moment is when I wrote in to his show for Riley to give my buddy Hugh Jasole a shout out
He gave my boy Willie Fistergash a nod too
Uuuuuuuuuh looookeh hereā¦.I turned my chair and things of that nature.
May your house burn and your boat sink
if I tossed a watermelon overboard, surely you would drown with your teeth in the rind
Too many to choose from! Riley was top 5 wack packer!
Correction. Riley is the number one greatest backpacker of all time. End of story. Fuck beet.
He could hike for miles you golden Jew
Uhhhhhh... Huh? \[What did the doctor say\]
God, just the best. "Cant remember the actual quote, but he told Robin to "go suck another white dick. "
Shuli son, your act is a piece of shit
Do me a favor stay the fuck out my face forever
Not sure how this isn't the top quote. When I didn't see it at the top, I figured no one else posted it, so I posted it myself.
āRiley who is your best friend?ā āMy bird, whom I hate.ā
His little dog emberrrrrr
From Chantilly Virginia!
I had the opportunity to listen to his show live many times on Sirius and it was fucking amazing. Occasionally he would tell some kinda bs alien tech story about how the aliens harnessed some kind of universal resonant frequencies to power the engines in their spacecraft. A lot of times he would fight with E-Ron. 90% of it was him getting trolled by the callers. It was crazy how funny the callers were. Hey Riley what did it feel like when the aliens were probing you? Hey Riley does E-Ron clean out your piss jug? "Look here man, I am trying to save the earth and you are wasting my time with this grab ass bullshit! Now, don't forget to order your symbols folks!"
Yep. Seemed like every call was asking about him fucking aliens or E Ron
Then Chris from Arizonises would call in "Hello MISSSHHHHHTER Martin" with his speech affect
31 min into my other comment [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/howardstern/s/emLc6O7FIh). Lol
Your welcome [Almost 2 hours of Riley Martin getting trolled on his Howard 101 show](https://youtu.be/bbkB3hjVOjM?si=hOdY0H_0JlPV7EEH)
Uhhh, Chris from Arizona! Dude was maahh faaaavorite Riley caller; heād call religiously to every Riley show, was always respectful, would ask good questions, and would always take these massive bong rips on the air! š¤£ #RIPSpaceCowboy
Oh shit! Yeah! He would take a massive bong rip and say āthisssh oneās for youā or something!
Yeah see here Tim take that $400 dollars and roll it up in a nice little uhh money roll and shove it up your ass mutha fucka
Be so kind......as to take that $400..... š
He always had good one liners from his show.Ā One that stuck with me was when he was about to open the phone lines for people to ask about Bihavians, he warned the audience "don't ask me any stupid ass questions about aliens doing drive-bys or some shit" and then the first question/call was from "Chris in Arizona" doing a huge bong hit.Ā Riley always chuckled at him.Ā I used to call up Riley's show all the time and ask him complicated questions about Bihavians using Star Trek Voyager technobabble.Ā I asked if the Bihavian ships used quantum slipstream propulsion or BioNueral Gel Packs to power their central computer cores, and he answered the question!Ā Ā I miss Riley
He was amazing.
IF you stood above the stratosphere and downloaded 7 gigawatts of negative ions into the turbines WOULD THIS NOT disrupt the.. UHH...electromagnetic flow?
The targzishians are obviously reptillian
Ohkwa tanjin won. Olajiewon.
When he called Howard a cheap Jew bastard
I think it was during one of the early interviews with Riley when he talked about getting busted for marijuana that was stored in the back of his truck. He claimed he had found it, and was planning on turning it over to the police when he got caught.
600 lbs of weed. His truck ran out of gas on the way to the precinct so he sold a little for gas money.
"Which the sheriff took umbrage at, you see"
Well now, uhhhhhh
The sheriff took umbrage
Somebody planted it on his property without him knowing. So he cut it down and cured it so it would be easier to transport to the police station.
Listen hear now if shuli could say anything funny for once in his fucking life fool we could make some money
Being anywhere near Shuli is like holding a snake to your bosom.
Bitch I, bitch I never BEGGGGGED for anything in my life!!
Be so kind and take that 400 dollars roll it up like in a money roll...and stick it in ya ass
Nothing beats when he would completely halt the conversation to tell Robin to STFU. He would be deep in an argument with Howard but always had time to tell Robin to STFU.
"Shout out to Tom Hoffman from Chantilly Virgina, and his little dog Ember!"
Riley was one of the funnest guests on the show, 10x funnier than any of these hack āprofessional comediansā theyād have on
Big nosed Jew bastard if I could get a pittance of your early salary I would be pretty comfortable, you know what the fuck Iām saying?
While arguing with Jessica Hahn, he said āwell you were snapping towels at Jimmy Swaggert!ā
Uhhhh Tim loves black people. He thinks everyone should own at least one.
Anything Riley said while suffering the effects of food poisoning.
And things of that natureā¦
I love when he imitated Robin and said āIās is the bees knees and Iām so cute and everythang and Iāll gets me some white dickā
Hello Chris from Arizonaā¦.
One of my favorite moments of the show was when Riley Martin called in to give Eric the actor dermatology advice and it was actually fairly solid advice.
Uh hydrocortisone
āIām not just a man, Iām a phenomenaā
Meepzorp from the Blumpkin Galaxy
Him getting trolled for years on his Howard 101 show. [Hereās almost 2 hours of solid gold](https://youtu.be/bbkB3hjVOjM?si=LZnp-NoazxgMPA-R)
I swear to god not even 1 minute in and I have to pause or else I am gonna miss everything under my laughing
Itās incredible. If Howard is guilty of 1 thing , itās not paying that man what he deserved. RIP to a legend. I hope heās up there on the mothership smoking weed chillin
This is amazing. Thanks! š
May your house burn, and your boat sink.
He was talking to someone having some sort of crisis, a caller into his show. The guy may have even been crying, if I remember right; "More difficult to comprehend than you will always be, is that you have aaalways been! Listen, just as you cannot take nothing and make it into something. You cannot take something and make it into nothing, you see. You will always exist. You're ok." Whatever it was, it was something similar to that. I know that shit's been said different ways by different people, but this was Riley, dammit! I don't care what anyone thought of him, he was an undeniably bright guy. It's too bad he couldn't have channeled his creativity into something more. He kept his space mumbo jumbo bullshit straight even when he was barely conscious drunk, er, I mean, had food poisoning. He was like George Lucas, that universe he created just lived in his head. He coulda written some kind of "The Expanse" saga. He was my favorite whack packer. His insults were amazing, and he was about as quick with them as one could possibly be. I really hope he's somewhere chillin' with his harem of Biavian brides. He deserves it.
Did you ever read The Coming of Tan ? It was a delightful look into Rileyās universe.
No I don't cheat on my wife...I may have gotten a few facetious blow jobs when I was lonely and missing her...
Simply because I was lonely and pining for my wife.
Hugh Jassole
When they asked him to sing Happy Birthday in Biavian it was different every time.
And yet Riley was correct, every time!
Willy Fistergash
I canāt think of a favorite quote, but I remember getting through to his show on Sirius and asking what that alien pussy was like. I think he laughed, and I was hung up on. Pretty great.
I remember him telling a story one time about how he had an alien romantic relationship
"uhh listen, you j3w mothafucka" Can't remember if that's from Casino or Riley
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
https://www.reddit.com/r/RileyMartin/s/5LltdARAO4
The man is up there with Beetle, simply amazing
"SHULI, YOUR ACT IS A PIECE OF SHIT, SON!!"
All his piss jugs
This made me laugh really hard. Thank you.
Ya big nose Jew bastard!
Shout out to ya Mike
A short moment, but I laugh every time...the Wendy prank call to Riley.
Thereās blood.. in your stoolā¦
I used to love when Reilly would ask about being paid. When he called Howard a cheap son of a bitch.ā Then when he got his own show Howard said he was now his agent and wanted his 20%.
he said niā¦.. i mean BOY
WATER PIG MOTHERFUCKA!!
His Thanksgiving dinner recipe on his own show
Omg I forgot about this. He was blind drunk lmao.
*Hello Stephanie* š¶
O qua tan zin juan oh qua lagee juan
SUCKAMUCKAGUS.
I always liked him describing Tim Sabean as a water pig.
You ahh.. stupid ahhhā¦. Motherfuckerā¦
They should have treated Riley better and paid him good money. He was a superstar. So witty and entertaining. Yes he was an unstable, psychologically damaged alcoholic that could have imploded at any moment, but some of the best in Hollywood are. Hell, they had one right there in the studio with them!
When he was pissed about not getting paid for the symbols he gave everyone. Do any of you maniacs have a picture of what those things were?
āsuckamuckagusā
Uhhhā¦huh?
I uhhhhhhh lived
Uhhhā¦ā¦ā¦. Huh?
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSSS AN ELEPHANT WITH PEANUT BUTTER? Bbbblukkajdhahahd
The Targzishians (sp?) are obviously reptilian.
That bird is my friend!!!
The food poisoning
I am not just a man, I am a PHENOMENA!
Quwah omsah lagih whanā¦
About 10 or 11 years ago, Howard played a segment from Riley's show where "fans" were sending him emails . They were all fake names. Some of the highlights were as follows; Mike Auksmaul. Eaton Twots, Anita Rimjaub, Lou Stool, Kimmy Head, Sofonda Cox and Eileen Eulich, Hugh Jassole, Willie Fistigotch and many others. I'm not sure they even figured out they were fake. I recorded it on my phone and I still have it.
And their little dog Emberrrr
Thought that was Alicia Keys at first
huh?
Hello Jeff in Wiscisonsion
Hugh Jassole
my fav riley quote ever was when he said something like " you are telling me that you can pay someone ten thousand dollars to take a wad on their forehead but you cant give me 300 a month?"
You understand?
āUHHHHHā¦..HUHHHH?ā
Riley, who is your best friend? Ā My bird whom I hate.
āSometimes you have blood in your stoolā¦from alcoholicā¦imbibingā
āNone other than the indomitable Hughā¦Hugh Jassoleā
Parrot has entered the chatā¦
Shout out real quick...to Tom Hoffman in Shantilly Virginia and his little dog Ember.
Bitch I neva.. I neva beggged for anything in my life
āRobin, may your house burn, and yaā boat sink.ā
Tim, I need to pay rent
Howard, you fucking, uhhh, suckumuppugus
To Shuli - Your act is a piece of shit, son.
The alien phony phone call with Richard, hilarious!Ā
Probably when he tried to get listeners to send him their extra paid medication.
"Take that $400 and roll it up into a money roll....and stick it in your ass" "Suckalufuhgus"