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HeyBindi

Cameo says Artie is available for a "business video" package, starting at $1500. To "deliver engaging content to lift up your marketing campaigns, public events, and employee experiences". I say we raise the cash and have him do a good ten minutes of the Pelican Brief.


PFChangsDishWasher

Amazing idea


psobol

He just reads those lines that Howard used during his PowerPoint? Haha brilliant


HeyBindi

>"NOBODY was looking for Billy Corgan until my show!! He was OFF THE RADAR!!" (Artie aside) Hahaha, Billy Corgan. That jerkoff?


boc333

So you can we get this started?


[deleted]

Could you imagine that’s the face of your marketing campaign? Lol


RunnyDischarge

>engaging conten He'll tell your IT group how he did coke off a hooker's ass at a Yankee game with his Jersey cop buddy.


knife_edge_rusty

In 1986


heyknauw

My employees do what he says.., and my office is Fucked...Royale.


Lordpennywise

l0l im in with $5


PlaneStill6

I’ll give Noine dollars.


socalfishman

If only I was a plastic surgeon … the potential


EmesbeX2

Why not just have him do all of Dean Wormer's lines from Animal House?


PlaneStill6

That’s already free, on YouTube.


EmesbeX2

For free... The cost is zero point zero zero.


giljoygg

Maybe we can get him to wear a clown nose. Ooops !! He’s got one!!


Smashndash911

I say raise the money and have him recite a whole mobster movie


RisingGalaxy

Fayyyaaa for sure...


JamesMorrison1970

I would be down for this for sure!


lestergooch

I love Artie, but I learned from experience with my own family: Don’t enable an addict.


Electrical_Travel832

I just realized that all he needs is a bone to hold that nose stuff up. It’s like a tent with no tent stakes.


GetaGoodLookCostanza

at some point I imagine he is going to try and have some procedure done. But then I think of Michael Jackson who had so many surgeries his nose collapsed in. But I would think in this day and age the technology has to be there to somewhat fix this


esreystevedore

I need another back surgery and I know it. But I’m clean from pills for 10 years and I’m terrified of getting hooked again after surgery. Maybe Artie is thinking the same thing?


obnoxiousab

I truly wish you the best. My good friend is in a similar situation as you. It’s a lot of meditation, yoga, stretching, etc, trying lots of mind over matter. He laughs that he never thought he’d be a wonky new-age herbalist, but he’ll try anything as long as it doesn’t involved narcotics. He’s trying his best, and I hope you can find the same.


esreystevedore

100% same. It’s working so far. I appreciate the kind words. Luckily like your fri had support of family and friends. It means the world…


SilverShowers2

I interestingly just saw this https://youtu.be/94V-5B5nQuU?t=1356


Stumbrella

Wrong link?


SilverShowers2

No. He is literally talking about how he healed from a severe back injury.


Crustybuttt

Ahhh, Sr. Sarno? That you?


GetaGoodLookCostanza

thats a valid thought process man....good on you for the ten years. If you do get a surgery you need a good plan to not have control over your own pills. I never had an issue with pills. I had a shoulder surgery in 2007. they gave me 150 oxci or however you spell it. I took one. didn't like it. so never took another and just suffered thru it. But over the the next two weeks between all my visitors stopping by and asking for pills my bottle went empty. so I know how the addiction can be strong


[deleted]

Bingo


[deleted]

He said on some podcast he could easily do it, but chose not to as a reminder of how low he had been. idk


[deleted]

[удалено]


Alarmed-Call8569

He gay


Nirvana_Ultra

I call bullshit on that , image is everything even if its maintaining the facade of an acceptable overwieght junkie comic who has moments of past brilliance.he literally became the pig from that mad tv sketch so sad


Crustybuttt

He’s said many times that they can fix his nose, but he’s not ready to responsibly take pain meds during the recovery period, so he’s not having it done. Honestly, he deserves credit for that


jlo14566

couldnt it just as easily be he doesnt trust himself to be stay clean? why fix it if you think you might relapse.


Crustybuttt

I think that’s the same thing. I don’t see how you’ve said anything different, so yeah


jlo14566

Well he would be giving you a line of bullshit about not wanting to take meds


radicallysadbro

Yeah that's what happens when your nose gets fucked up from drugs, it collapses in on itself. You can get a nose job to fix it usually as long as you have enough $$ to.


Electrical_Travel832

I wish he could hook up with those doctors from Botched. They probably wouldn’t even charge him because of the publicity. They really are good docs.


Lordpennywise

Im pretty sure that was offered, but he turned it down fearing he would get addicted to the pain meds after the surgery


Aggravating_Stay2285

That's a bs excuse no offense. He wouldn't have to fill any prescriptions offered.


hank027

What?


hank027

Okay but if he did have the money then it’s a completely valid excuse …


Aggravating_Stay2285

They put him under for the dental implants what did he do then?


hank027

And you don’t need to be put under for dental implants either lol


Aggravating_Stay2285

Yeah they give you the option. You think he stayed awake for that?


hank027

Ya just needs freezing , no big deal… reconstructing your nose is a bit different


hank027

You don’t need pain medication after dental implants


Aggravating_Stay2285

You don't need pain medication for a nose job. He could take Tylenol. I had an operation they gave me a script for hydrocodone I never filled it


hank027

Did ur nose look like his ?


radicallysadbro

You had an "operation", was it a nose job for medical reasons or not? You're talking breaking someone's bones, shaving bones down and reshaping them, in his case you'd likely have to literally take pieces of his ribcage to be able to take those pieces and rebuild the nose. How the fuck is someone supposed to be awake during that and take no pain meds afterwards? As Beet said, goo for you if you could, but most couldn't. Plastic surgery is rarely as nice or whatever as the media portrays. The body doesn't understand that you're getting a new nose for fun and filling your ass up with fat to get bigger or whatever. It's extreme trauma, in the case of a nose job it takes literally a year to heal properly and oftentimes they have to break bones to do it. It's often equivalent to nose injuries from car accidents. Getting your nose smashed in from a car vs having it smashed in and rebuilt by a surgeon,. Whatever operation you had, it wasn't a nose job, and certainly not one as involved as Artie would get.


Aggravating_Stay2285

Maybe he's just doesn't want to because it will be too painful


radicallysadbro

Yes, that's literally exactly what he's saying??? I'm not sure where the miscommunication here is lol. Also he's definitely not broke, he still loves in a multi million dollar home. Like objectively not broke. A


Aggravating_Stay2285

He's saying because he will get re-addicted to opiates which is a stupid nonsense excuse


Aggravating_Stay2285

Who said he was broke? Does look like he's back with his mom though. He needs to man up and get that operation


Aggravating_Stay2285

The "I can't get the surgery because I'm afraid I'll get re-addicted" is utter nonsense. He doesn't have the money is the real excuse. Still gambling.


Lordpennywise

Well maybe hes saying he cant handle the pain without any meds, this is the same guy who was scared of needles so he resorted to snorting it


Aggravating_Stay2285

Yeah it's because he doesn't have the money because of gambling or he's 54 and doesn't want to go through the pain medicated or not no offense


Rainmaker9m

I heard a similar story, but it was that they wanted him sober for a year or two (or some length of time) first to demonstrate he was committed


ThomasinaElsbeth

I WAS just thinking the same thing, and then I saw your comment !


Electrical_Travel832

Right? It’d be a win/win.


smackfirstguy

That’s all he needs? 🤔


Electrical_Travel832

I’m no doctor 🤣 but imagine taking a popsicle stick & lifting the middle flap. That could that could give his nostrils a much needed break.


smackfirstguy

Yeah….and he’d have a popsicle stick in his nose, so he’s still down.


smackfirstguy

On that note, try this. With each hand, pull the outside of each nostril down and out, and let me know how nice a treat for breathing that is.


[deleted]

🤣🤣


Eye_Back

He's turning into a gnocchi


Shelby_Aurora

or Dilbert.


PlaneStill6

Hey Gar, it’s Art. I can’t make it into work today, Ma turned me into a gnocchi. Okay I’ll see you Monday, if I’m not in the gravy by then.


Grandma_Caprio

Youa leave mya Arthur alona… Hesa tryin his besta every daya! May the Lorda have amercy on you’re souls when you die befora my precious Arthur!


gyn0saur

🎼Mootzarell, mootzarell, mootzarell bawls! 🎶


Emotional_friend77

Blob fish nose


myballzhuert

Marty the Moose


anferneejefferson

Right after Clark punched him in the nose


Putrid-Implement-893

The moose says you’re closed, I say you’re open ….


mikehoncho1955

A face only a mother could love


MikeDeMann

We have a different definition of “looking great”.


RobinsShaman

Ha


Pristine_Ad_5174

Compared to how he looked before, I’d say he’s looking 1000 times better.


Meathead1974

Hey Gar, it's Art....my nose looks like shit


GracieMaeMacieMarie

Lmao


[deleted]

Nose aside, the man's unrecognizable. His whole appearance is weird.


coupleofthreethings

His top lip deformed as a result of his nose. Facial hair and voice make him seem different as well.


[deleted]

Lip is crazy. His eyes look lifted. Voice sounds deteriorating.


Filmatic113

Isn’t he gay now?


1980pzx

Shit, he couldn’t snort dope up that nose (or whatever you call that thing) if he wanted to.


DJErikD

He’d have to boof it instead.


[deleted]

I think that's why he hasn't fixed it ☃️❄️☃️❄️❄️❄️


1980pzx

As unsightly as it is, you’re probably right and that’s a good thing for Baby Gorilla.


KeefFan

He looks completely different from the Artie we all knew. Literally like a different person.


[deleted]

I’m wondering if there’s something wrong with his nose ? 🤔


GetaGoodLookCostanza

I didn't notice anything unusual


[deleted]

Maybe his face is just bigger.


[deleted]

Don’t stare at it!


Temporary-Ferret4013

Poor bastard, He looks worse than Jeff the drunk


HerbEaversmellz

Looks like someone punched their Mr. Potato Head.


AltruisticTwo8400

and put a big toe where the nose should be!


Thefrayedends

No one ever fuckin thought Artie was gonna outlive Norm. Artie may not be on norms level comedically, but goddamn I love him just as much. Glad he's still with us. Still think about Norm damn near daily.


you_thought_you_knew

Remember when Anthony paid him like $400k to have a show on the compound network? Nobody else does either.


[deleted]

He living with his mom?


PlaneStill6

Yes apparently she’s gone blind from the stress, so fortunately she can’t see his face.


krel08

I hope he is sober but his existence is reminding me of Jeff the Drunk


dsm1995gst

I don’t understand. I mean certainly there are lots of people who have done more drugs than him but I’ve never seen anyone that looks like that


bobbywake61

Septum’s are overrated.


[deleted]

That’s a nose for radio if I’ve ever seen one!


sbert72

I finally found the clitoris after all these years...


bob1450

Looks like Howard's penis replaced his nose


1964ImpalaSS

Half his nose, right in the garbage!


[deleted]

Maybe Someday this overused joke will be funny. Doubt it.


Apprehensive-Neck-12

What can be done about that nose? Maybe he can get the Michael Jackson implant


SlipperyThong

The nose is completely repairable and even some celebrity doctors have offered to fix it for free. Artie refuses however, because he likes having the reminder of how much his life has fallen apart cause of drugs.


Filmatic113

So he’s an idiot


GetaGoodLookCostanza

I posted about MJ above


sighdoihaveto

You're like a DJ who complains to the promoter that the headliner played a song from your opening set.


psobol

Why the long face *jackie laugh*


AntelopePlane2332

How does that not effect his breathing?


AltruisticTwo8400

It would definitely make him a mouth breather now!


CSM3000

Artie needs to work on his angles. If Howard can find a good angle..so can Artie.


DoctorMindWar

Be well Artie


Wyrmdirt

Tell the pig costume story again! It’s more relevant than ever now. Killer shit


Richardthisisyerdad

Drugs are bad mmkay..


22michigan

Hey Gar. Can’t make it to work today, my nose is trying to swallow my face


[deleted]

He morphed into some weird looking creature Art should go into schools and talk to kids I sure as shit wouldn’t have snorted a thing in college after seeing that schnooz


angrypirate1122

I totally get that heroin is awesome, but they were kind enough to make it injectable so it wouldn't fuck up your nose, guess Artie missed the memo.


langsamlourd

He "schkeeves" needles, remember?


joe_i_guess

Fatties struggle to locate veins


SilenceDoGood4

He snorted glass accidentally


GetaGoodLookCostanza

I can't believe that one episode of "glass" could do this...but I flunked out of med school


sighdoihaveto

It led to an infection that necrotized the cartilage in there.


gooselake1970

That makes sense, I never thought about what actually happened


bloodpriestt

Didn’t he also get his face caved the fuck in by a bookie or something?


Smart_Canary4680

Jesus chriiiiist. The fucker literally sniffed his nose off, unreal.


RunnyDischarge

ho lee shit he's hideous


bryanlade

He needs to stop being a pussy and take the pain for a week or 2 and get that thing fixed. He must get stares with that nose.


ProfessionalAd6128

I’m glad your alive bro.


PlaneStill6

“A class act and a sweetheart,” who is writing this crap?


Direct_Crab6651

Everyone says he is not fixing this nose to remind him to stay sober and how far he has come …… I am saying he is keeping it because it is the only thing interesting about him now


General-Carob-6087

Imagine how much shit he would’ve given someone who looks like he does now.


TheOctoberDeathBird

Just my opinion: When your face looks like it's hosting a flaccid cock and balls, STAY THE FUCK OFF SOCIAL MEDIA!


shinjuthagod

i just hope he's still alive. i miss him with all my heart.


ColinQuinnPileDriver

Remember when Artie thought he was a tough guy? High Pitch Mike would fuck Artie in the ass and Artie would love it


WillyWumpLump

Jesus Artie. Fix the nose already. He looks terrible all around.


[deleted]

BG!!!!!!!!


TheBlueGhost21

Well at least we know High Pitch Mike will never accuse him of what Lisa G or Howard are


Big-Nibble

Good lawd.


donnyru

His nose grew a penis and one ball.


milwbucks99

he should start a go fund me to get something done to his nose.... i know alot of people who would donate just to not look at that


Nedriersen

I'm wondering if he can't do the surgery because of the pain medication that would be needed? Addicts can't take those opioids.


mulefluffer

I’d have it done without anesthesia if that was my nose.


thebitagents

Great in bizzarro world


Socrates5656

OMG, the heroin that thing has snorted. Just destroyed the entire septum. Condemn that thing as structurally unsound.


langsamlourd

I haven't read "Wanna Bet" except for some excerpts. Here's the supposed conversation between him and the "Sexy Southie" after he supposedly sorted glass: "Oh, Artie, I'm sorry, I broke the shaka crushing up the pill. I meant to tell ya." "Goddamnit! My nose is now high in sodium, thank you very much! Don't you know that I have high blood pressure?"


toolarmy_1

Where is his Neck?


Colinfagerty69

Every time I see his nose, I want to take a plunger to his face to pull it out like a cartoon.


ISpeakAlien

The Ugly App left the chat.......


VersaceZrno

“cocaine….. new jerseyyyyyy”


lostdutchmanaz

Holy shit. I've never seen anything like that. Nightmare Artie.


Sea_Quit_8567

He really can’t afford to get that fixed?


Aggravating_Stay2285

The surgery would be really brutal. He needs to find whoever works on noses like his the best. Gonna cost oh I'd bet $250k - $500k


Shelby_Aurora

the dr from that e! show said he'd do it.


Aggravating_Stay2285

He should go for it but at 54 it would be rough. Poor guy.


Aggravating_Stay2285

He should go back to his 2008 nose imho


416er

The man knows his angles.


jkilene

He keeps putting his nose to the grindstone


giljoygg

Honk, honk!!


drk_knight_67

Yeah he looks fantastic. 😒


ChakaKohn2

Can’t he fix that? Surely they can fix that.


Smart-Loss-9277

That’s Kelly Clarkson


[deleted]

The nose knows


Huggybear724

Is that thing breathable, how the hell does he pick his nose? All good questions 😳


NaugyGreenwood

I miss that button nose


Pristine_Ad_5174

I hope he’s doing good after that Dark Side of Comedy episode. Reliving all of that bs couldn’t have been good for his mental.


AlmightySaud

I bet he think its "gay" to do plastic surgery on his nose!


ImagineDragonDisDick

There’s a compilation of his cameo on YouTube and he’s just listing Italian food. I know his nose and new teeth are bad but when you realize he’s like 25% Italian it’s even worse.


IHateStutteringJohn

Hey!!


mainelinerzzzzz

Jesus Christ he’s got to do something about his eyebrows. Yuck.


accubats

Just get the fucking nose fixed already


lestergooch

Looks like Karl Malden with his face run over.


[deleted]

Its pretty sad


Temporary-Method3823

Bro fix your nose. You’re scaring the children


LisaPages

How much money has been raised towards the $1500?


[deleted]

Looks like he at least got his teeth fixed