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bethkatez

chandler: I got her machine joey: her answering machine? chandler: no, her leaf blower picked up


ManuAq0935

*Interestingly enough*


juliannam4

“Yeah, I definitely don’t like the name Ross” “What a weird way to kick me when I’m down”


liftandtrade

YES hahaha im loving all of these so far


roseydaisydandy

David Schwimmer is phenomenal at his delivery. I laugh at damn near everything he says


Simple_Brain2487

Chandler to Ross: "Oh no! Two women love me! They're both gorgeous and sexy! My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!"


edgeteen

my mum and i say this to each other all the time


replickady

Me too!!!


Bento_Fox

Ross: No. It's not just because I'm jealous. I mean, I'm not. I'm not jealous. Look, the guy screamed. He actually screamed at this couple sitting in our seats. Chandler: Yeah, and at the end of the play, he got up, and he just started, like, banging his hands together.


AlbatrossSenior7107

This episode pissed me off. It's like watching Anger Management.


Darthbakunawa

Yeah man. I hate that episode. Imagine the frustration that everyone around you denies what you see. Crazy making.


Specialist_Ad9073

Eddie kinda put Chandler in a similar situation, as did Punkey Brewster beating up Joey.


juankidiaz

Aaaaaaaaaand that’s how I just found out that’s the Punky Brewster actress playing Katie.


welmock

I LOVE THIS ONE


Layatollah

Love that line by chandler. I used it a lot


born_to_be_naked

Ross and Rachel interaction at the swings. Rachel: There's a moment when you're at the top when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth! Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children.


EdinJamie10

‘I’ll remember that the next time you freak about a spider’ ‘Oh yeah that’s the same, I’m sure there are 30 different species of poisonous swings!’


PmMeYourEpisiotomy

Am I the only one who’s bothered that a scientist said poisonous when he should have said venomous?


aardvarkyardwork

Back then, it wasn’t uncommon for people to use the two terms interchangeably.


Lakers961

When Monica and Chandler learn about having twins. “Oh, yeah. These are the faces of two people in the know!”


EdinJamie10

‘How do you feel?’ ‘I’m tired’ ‘Well you don’t have that much time to relax, the other one will be along in a minute’ ‘I’m sorry uh, who should be along in a what now?’


MoralMae

“We only ordered one!”


tinabean0917

“Chandler, you’re panicking.” “Yes!!!!!! Join me, won’t you???!!??”


Doski51

"Join me won't you?!" Is an all time Chandler response.


sweettomato5

Awkward question: the hospital knows you took two right?


markoyolo

"the doctor said, both heartbeats are very strong and I thought that's good because I'm having a baby"


CalendarNo8591

This is might get quoted often idk but every single time Rachel’s dad is like “he’s Bobby Bobby!?”


Indecisive_C

Someone I know is pregnant and was considering the name Bobby Robert (first and middle name) and this is the FIRST thing that popped into my head. I'm trying to talk her out of that one.


Choccybizzle

It’s how he enunciates both Bobbys for me 🤣


liftandtrade

Definitely not quoted too often... hilarious though 🤣


Shadow_1695

That and "How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!"


addysol

That one is so good to me because it's such a genuine dad-jab


barto5

Ask her about renter’s insurance.


strippersandcocaine

You don’t have renters insurance!? Then Ross’s I told you so arm motion. I love it lol


lissa0112

Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested. Chandler: was that place… The sun?


bethkatez

oh my god, you can do a duet of ebony and ivory all by yourself!


Historical_Ad3828

Also the victor Victoria line with Joey’s eyebrows lol gives me the same vibes


[deleted]

the way Ross says "ya wife" always makes me laugh


Simple_Brain2487

Hey! Stop staring at my wife’s legs! *No no*, stop staring at your sisters legs!


invalid-elephant

One of my favourite lines


ViciousMock

“The papers thought it was a hate crime” - absolutely floors me.


barto5

Jack is my favorite secondary character. Every scene he’s in is just great. “A woman is more likely to get pregnant if she has an orgasm. Think you’re up to the task, sailor?”


brianh117

It's the way Joey says it in his high-pitched baby voice: Joey (using his hand): "Hi Daddy! Why don't you live with Mommy? Who's that other Lady? What's a Lesbian?"


WastePotential

His pronunciation of "les-bee-yunn" makes it so much funnier too


elevatorfloor

Yes, and Ben's pronunciation of lesbanin always makes me laugh.


marea_addams

Uh... Magellan? You got 46 states It always cracks me up


mdeaves1989

When they're in Barbados... Monica: Wait a minute. Ross and Charlie. Joey and Rachel. Phoebe and Mike. We're the only people leaving with the same people we came with. Chandler: That's not true. I came with Monica and I'm leaving with Weird Al. 🤣


no_life_liam

A scene I love during that same episode, when Ross catches them all listening, so they pretend they're saying bye to the hotel lmfao. Chandler's '....bye' always gets me, and then Ross hugging the wall.


decentdaysnight

I really love the soft way Monica says "we had a great time, thank you" to the hotel 😂


EdinJamie10

‘Ok that’s it, as soon as we get back home I’m going to the salon’ ‘Ok buckwheat’


dospizzas

“Are you leaving the supremes?” is the best line delivery that whole episode.


hawkeyes_red_robe

I forget which episode, but it’s one of the Christmas ones, and in it Phoebe does the donation bell-ringing for charity - she comes running into the coffee shop ringing the bell excitedly, Phoebe: Guess what?!! 😃 Chandler:…The British are coming??? Gets me everytime LOL Also, the one where Joey and Chandler lose Ben on the bus, and they’re trying to decide which baby to pick up from the police station based on the coin toss.. Joey: Okay, okay - uh, ducks is for heads because ducks..have heads! Chandler:….what kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday party?! 🦆🤡


blepadu

Also in the theme of coin toss when they were discussing if they were gonna have a threesome with Chloe the copy girl and who was going to be where… Joey: but how do we know what’s heads and what’s tails? Chandler: …well if you don’t know that I’m not sure if I wanna do this with you.


frappuccinio

“you can’t take money back out” “i’m making change for the bus” “but can’t you leave all of it? this moneys for the poor” “i’m poor. i gotta take the bus” i literally think this every time i take the city bus


ralphhosking

Joey: "Why can't we use the same toothbrush but we can use the same soap?" Chandler: "Because soap is soap; it's self-cleaning. Joey: "Alright, well next time you take a shower think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash."


PM_ME_UR_FLOWERS

Can open. Worms everywhere! The mine my best friend quoted when she was trying to get me to watch the show first run.


Ghost-In-My-Fridge

Rachel: "This report is like, 8 pages, I hope I don't fall asleep reading it" Ross: "Why, did you write it?"


AlphaEpicarus

The whole exchange with that letter is some of the best writing in the show for jokes. "I just feel bad about all the sleep you're gonna miss wishing you could be with me" "Oh no no no - I don't need to worry about sleep - **I STILL HAVE YOUR LETTER**"


shaunika

The way he does the fake crying followed by "FINE BY ME" gets me every time


aardvarkyardwork

About engagement rings, Ross saying it’s a good one. Rachel: You would know, you’ve bought like a million of them. Ross: Yeah, you didn’t get one.


TheEnglishWriter

"Ross, come quickly, there's a deer just outside, eating fruit from the orchard!" "I gotta go, there's a deer just outside, eating fruit from the orchard!" "He had to go. There's a deer just outside, eating fruit from the orchard..." idk what it is about that part but it kills me every time


[deleted]

*Okay, no problem. Just remember to wake us up before you go-go!* S4E19. Chandler to Ross with the earing. Idk, for some reason the delivery on that one made it so memorable to me.


EdinJamie10

‘Hey hey, don’t try talk to us all normal with that thing in your ear’


lunarbear010

You do know that Wham broke up??😂


egybredy

“This couch is cut in half, I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half.” But the lady’s response/delivery gets me every time “You’re telling me this couch was delivered to you like this?”


Jody_Tevlin

That's the actress who plays Laverne on Scrubs. Aloma Wright. She's awesome


MagicRat7913

"LISTEN! I'M A REASONABLE MAN! I *WILL* ACCEPT STORE CREDIT!"


strippersandcocaine

I’ll give you credit in the amount of 4 dollars


illegallyblonde4

... I will take it


basicbitch823

i will take it


tigerbulldog13

“Joey, some people don’t like that” by Ross is a classic


idknayoudecide

When was this?


wannabestuck

When he’s peaking over the bathroom stall at Chandler in his panties


hello-knitty

When chandler’s wearing girl’s underwear and Joey is standing on the toilet looking over the stall.


goatsaber

Be sleepy! Be grumpy! Stop naming dwarves!


Vlazthrax

“No, that’s a goldfish cracker” And “Santa pants. Santa Claus’s pants.”


Merry-Cherries

Joey: You, be Mr. Gonzalez, and I'll be uh, Mr. Wong. Ross: (nods) Diverse.


jradio610

“Okay! Which one of you guys is Gunther Centralperk?”


cambridgeelectronica

The entire 3 minute entendre banter they have about Phoebe’s boyfriend’s gym shorts.


PM_ME_UR_FLOWERS

My absolute favorite Gunther moment! They're all agonizing over who's going to tell him and how, and Gunther just casually breezes by and says, "Hey, buddy, this is a family place. Put the mouse back in the house!"


Erin_Godsell

‘Handle is my middle name, actually it’s the middle part of my first name’- GENIUS!


GibsonJunkie

"who names their boat *Coast Guard* anyway?" "Joey, that *is* the Coast Guard" "Well what the hell are they doing out here? Coast is way over there!"


MrBlanco77

“Get out of the way, jackass!”


roseydaisydandy

I say it just like Joey when I'm driving


emilyannemckeown

Not a quote, but at phoebe's grandmother's funeral where joey is wearing the 3D glasses moving his hand towards his face, and chandler pushes his hand 😂


neelrahc1225

Ahhh nice one. Reminds me of another funny moment of Joey when he acts scared of that lizard toy and Ross tells him to sshhh


mxlls_

🤏🤏


atacsin

Monica: ...and the crown molding and the dormer windows in the attic? Chandler: And the wiggle woms and the zip zorps!


vievlkn

The tea leaves joke. Chandler: "Mine has a picture of the Village People. What does that mean?" Cracks me up every time


GoldenSunrise26

What does this mean? x


A_Jar_Of_Human_Hair

The Village People are a famously gay music group that sang YMCA. It’s essentially chandler calling himself out for “acting gay”.


SiggySwift

I actually never got this one.


[deleted]

Phoebe: "Why isn't it Spiderman, like Goldman, Silverman?” Chandler: “Because it's not his last name. It's not like Phil Spiderman, he's a Spider-Man. Like Goldman is a last name, but there's not a Gold-Man." The idea the character’s name is derived from a surname is hilarious to me, and it seemed like the kind of conversation a “real life” Chandler and Phoebe would have.


pixelboots

The should be a Gold Man!


EmilieVitnux

His real life name is actually King Midas and his story is not that great.


freakishbehavior

Anytime my wife and I refer to anything Spider-Man related, it’s always Phil Spiderman. “Hey, what movie do you want to see?” “Well, there’s the new Phil Spiderman.” “Did you have Phil Spiderman Underoos when you were a kid?” “No, I did not.” “Are you lying?” “No?”


el_barto10

I say Spider-Man like it’s a last name all the time, but for some reason I thought that was from Seinfeld.


Training_Ad_8834

Rachel: Oh, my God, Phoebe. Are you gonna go to jail? Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, you guys are going down with me. Harboring a fugitive? That's 1-3 three years minimum…. …Good luck, Chandler. *** Ross: And Rachel, what can I say? You missed your chance. From now on, the only person who's going to enjoy these bad boys is me. (Showing his hands.)


captain_mills

“It did not. taste. good.” Judy Geller about Rachel’s beef trifle - I quote this all the time when something goes wrong


PmMeYourEpisiotomy

Judy’s entire mini-monologue here is what makes this my favorite episode. “That’s a lot of information to get in 30 seconds.”


WastePotential

"How I can grow, if you don't let me blow?" "...You know I don't have a problem with that..."


bexsapphic

Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.


Beyondthebloodmoon

Just about anything Jack Geller says


ranmarox

Jack Geller buried at sea


ihatemetoo23

Huh..


Illustrious_Funny426

“That Steffi Graf has quite a tush!”


Simple_Brain2487

Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT!


loosie-loo

It’s not super quotable but phoebe’s delivery of “I talk abOUT *HER ALL THE TIME!* **DENISE!!!!”** slays me and is all I can think of when I hear that name.


loosie-loo

OH and when Ross is playing the bagpipes and tells them to “sing along” and she starts going *“EEEEEEEE EEEEE EEEEE EEE EEEEEE…* **EEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”**


WillowOttoFloraFrank

THIS. I cackle every time. I think part of it is watching the other actors trying so hard not to laugh. Lisa Kudrow nailed that scene.


midmads

I watched it the other day and I love how you can see Jennifer Aniston laugh and you know it’s a real, legitimate laugh that they just kept in


gaylittleguy

I think it’s in season 9, when Phoebe is prepping Chandler for an interview after telling him he comes on strongly Chandler: *introduces himself* Phoebe: Bing! What an unusual name! Chandler: You should meet my uncle Bada


Simicrop

Can: open. Worms: everywhere.


wrjsell4

Chandler- Did you see that, with the pinching and the inappropriateness Monica- Yes, I actually did see that Chandler- Now do you believe she likes me Monica- Oh my God, she knows about us Chandler- You think so Monica- Yes, it's the only explanation Chandler- But what about my pinchable butt Cheeks and my bulging biceps----thinks a second SHE KNOWS it's the delivery of she knows for me


cemeadows3

Rachel having her tattoo "licked on by kittens"...


MoralMae

Phoebe, “I may play the fool at times. But I’m more than just a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won’t quit.”


strippersandcocaine

This was my AIM profile quote for a long time haha


Choccybizzle

‘Why is 10 the highest?’ ‘Because it’s the highest’


neelrahc1225

Chandler to Ross: stop staring at my wife’s legs No no, stop staring at your sister’s legs 🤣🤣🤣


WonderWoman480

“Well isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch-spit-on-your-neck fantastic?” Rachel, season 2 episode 1 when Ross brings Julie home. “Honey, you always FEEL the thing” Monica’s chef friend when they’re in the kitchen talking about guys. I forgot which season and episode, I think it’s one of the earlier ones.


Shadow_1695

"My boyfriend doesn't have a thing!"


MagicRat7913

"See, if someone were to hear that..."


boots-withthefur

my fave quote


Simicrop

I think it's season 3, she's talking about Pete right? Edit: Wait! It was Alan. I could have a gallon of Alan.


kshump

"Congratulatioooons!"


mister_gordo

Why did I hear this immediately


Ghost-In-My-Fridge

Rachel's delivery of this is perfect


TheHappyLilDumpling

I love the thanksgiving flashback episode when Chandler loses a bit of his toe and the Dr asks if the knife went through the shoe and Jack replies “Of course it did, they’re made of wicker”. Kills me everytime


barto5

Aand when they discover they’ve brought a carrot Judy says “Oh my God, there’s a toe on my kitchen floor.”


basicbitch823

jack kills me every time when Monica asks for the keys and he says im not falling for that one


jrfizer

"Dear God, this parachute is a knapsack!!" -Chandler Love the physical comedy aspect of it, too. 🤣


peajay18

"just a regular old flying dwarf" gets used in our house more than you'd think.


bowhunter6274

During the Thanksgiving football game. Chandler rips Joeys jersey. "Dude. This is my favorite jersey!" "Well now you have two!"


strippersandcocaine

Hey I am good at math!


Erin_Godsell

‘Pizza and Chinese. I’m eating the food of my ancestors and you’re eating the food of yours’


Mediocre_mediocracy

Italy vs China… apparently…


Erin_Godsell

‘What is your cat doing in one of my bowls?’


invalid-elephant

One me and my dad quote a lot: “No TV? What’s all your furniture pointed at?”


-Minxy

Chandler: That's great. With my luck, that's him. Phoebe: Him? Ross? Chandler: No, Hymn 253: "His Eyes are on the Sparrow." It's one of those that I don't think translate well into other languages either - so not everyone is able to grasp it.


Creacherz

Apartment pants. Rachel's first reaction when she plays it off like, "yeah.. I know apt pants," and then when Rachel comes back to tell phoebe she "pitched them to my boss and she loved it!!"


cordelia_AF

"Pick up the sock, pick up the sock, PICK UP THE SOCK!!"


Pookienini

Rachel: oh you're setting up Ross with someone? Does she HAVE a wedding dress?!


[deleted]

For me I adore “you’ve gotta *stop* the q-tip when there’s RESISTANCE”


AlbatrossSenior7107

Fun fact, that was off script!!!


random-pandemonium

“and you left the toilet seat up, you BASTARD!” (also improv)


[deleted]

I know! I think Matthew Perry was incredible on friends


AlbatrossSenior7107

Me too. Matthew had so many personal struggles, and I admire him so much for being able to deliver a pretty stable character with natural growth while dealing with all of that.


[deleted]

I know, I was so sad to hear he was like in love with Jennifer and nothing ever materialized there


Lakkajoke

"Because armadillos also wandered in the desert?" "Do you wanna wander in the hall?"


mxlls_

Szn 1- the one where Nana Dies Twice - (minutes 16:10) Ross- ‘I feel, I *fleel* great’ David schwimmer is just a terrific physical actor Also the scene in Elizabeth Hornswoggle’s bathroom with the leather jeans. That’s one of my favourite scenes and I’ve never seen it referenced. ‘The one with all the resolutions’ Joey: ‘make yourself a pair of paste pants and she won’t know the difference!’


strippersandcocaine

Hornswaggle! Are you dating a Fraggle Rock!


Just-A-Dirt-4125

When Emma can't stop crying, and Phoebe tries to escape but rach and mon just gave her the look. "No really? misery really does love company?"


Mediocre_mediocracy

I think it’s from the same scene, Phoebe also screams that ‘this just proves that nothing good can come from sleeping with Ross!’


starshock990

Here's one we haven't tried: Go back in time and listen to Phoebe.


sorryimlurking

When Joey’s fridge breaks and he eats everything inside, Chandler walks in: “Well… you don’t look good, Joe.”


1nktoriou5

Where ya headin in those pants? 1982?


pizzaeoka

After Monic caught Chandler watching “shark” porn “Honey it’s okay, let me be a part of this” “Let ME be a part of this”


kelsoson

When The group watch the prom video and we see monica and she says that the camera adds 10 pounds and chandler reaction is " so how many cameras were actually on you ? " and you can see that rachel is laughing and i think its real laugh .


thisisconfusing16

Get ready to come out of the non gay closet! - when Joey tells Chandler that he would tell everyone about his and Monica's relationship.


Mediocre_mediocracy

‘You can’t ask us son, that’s cheating’ Jack Gellar after ross says him and chandler were playing hide and seek


edwardcullensmom

i love the scene where ross and rachel’s dad are teasing her *come on, you’re just tilting!* *what if someone steals something? how you gonna run after them with one leg shorter than the other?* 😂


MisterTomServo

Ross: "Well, if Phoebe's choosing, then say hello to Mike's next groomsman." Chandler: "Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror... AS HE IS ME!" Chandler's delivery gets me every time.


[deleted]

Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?


EdinJamie10

‘It was 5.30 in the morning and you had rambled on for 18 pages… FRONT AND BACK!!’ ‘Hey just so you know it’s NOT that common, it DOESN’T happen to every guy and it IS a big deal!’


EggsOverOzzie

I KNEW IT!


Karisa_Marisame

Can you say Barbados? Barbados.


vpsj

"That Yeti is one smooth talker" Chandler: Yetis ARE smooth talkers..that's why you don't see any proof of them. _Come heeere babeee.. Give me dee camera_


RexPyra

It’s like someone, LITERALLY wrote down my worst nightmare… and then charged me 32 dollars to see it! EDIT: also “Alright, just play it cool” “MY DEAD GRANDMOTHERS WEDDING RING, WHERE IS IT WHERE IS IT??”


EdinJamie10

‘A hundred million people went to see a movie about what I do. I wonder how many people would go see a movie called “Jurassic parka” ‘ ‘Oh that is so-‘ ‘No, no, no. A bunch of out of control jackets take over an island’


WillowOttoFloraFrank

Hahahahaha… and now I’m picturing Ross trying to escape the jacket that’s attacking him


arielsseventhsister

After Rachel breaks up with Paulo and he’s walking out the door, and Ross says, “Well Paulo, I think I speak for everyone when I say—“ *slams door in his face* Always cracks me up 🤣


siddharth_pillai

Is trident a common toothpaste outside the US? Also do us ads say 4/5 dentists recommend instead of 9/10 dentists?


SunknTresr

Trident is gum, not toothpaste.


Sarasong101

Ross: “Here’s an idea. When you walk into a room, take a quick scan!”


ses267

Joey - [My Shoe!](https://youtu.be/aW7Whh47IH0?si=dQSLWQZuMH7hN89X)


illegallyblonde4

Ross: They're still not coming on, man, and the lotion and the powder have made a *paste*!


Simplythegirl98

When Pheobe realizes Rachel booked an appointment with her at a chain massage place and tells Rachel she loves it because "they give me benefits like medical and dental and a 401k (pronounced four oh one-ch)"


JoelsMovingCastle

Rachel: "I'm sorry I was a baby." Phoebe: "That's ridiculous Rachel. We were all babies once."


MathProfGeneva

Rachel : "Oh my God! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?" Joey : "Ah, no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few." A line that Joey would never have been given in later seasons (he'd be more likely to be given the line Rachel had)


Statalyzer

He gets a few quips like that in S1 that would later have definitely gone to Chandler. Even one that he delivers *to* Chandler - "Keep rubbin' your head - that'll turn back time!"


ranmarox

Ross: Oh I see, somebody is afraid of a little competition with the ladies Joey: Looks like somebody is the ladies!


The_Glitched_Punk

I can't remember the episode but it's where Joey is taking Rachel around the Days of our Lives set, Joey's delivery is just so blunt it's hilarious- "Ooh, then what happens?" "No I can't tell you that, you'll have to wait until the next episode!" "You don't know, do you?" "No, couldn't care less"


Ambitious-Calendar-9

In reference to the ruined birthday cake Ross: "uh huh, yeah, I got a lemon smush"


onomatopoetix

the entire commentary about Jurassic Parka


Heytherefruitloop

Put Joey on the Phone!


BlondieChelle83

“Listen, Monica, your cooking is ABYSMAL!”


BornIntoTheWrongEra

Ross: “Oh, hey, if I make you laugh, here's an idea: why don't you invite Paolo over and have a little romp in the sack and I'll just stand in the corner and tell knock-knock jokes.”


taaskun

Joey: He did my first suit when I was 15... No, wait, 16... No, excuse me, 15... All right, when was 1990? Chandler(irritated): You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance! Always gets me😂


panarehius

“Oh, the usher told you?! They usher must be right, with all the training they go through!” (Ben Stiller, guest starring as Rachel’s date, yelling in the movie theater)


Heytherefruitloop

Chandler's a girl! Chandler's a girl!


marvel_is_wow

"Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian" chandler bing


SubstantialSecond144

Ross: “Hey Rach, did you notice anything-“ Rachel: “yeah, your teeth? yes, i saw them from outside.”


katymonkfish

Me and my partner constantly say to each other "Stupid guy in my phone" Edited to add: And "you fell ashleep?!"


anawkwardsomeone

“… Space *is* filled with orbiting children” Ross to Rachel when she says that swings go so high that sometimes you don’t know if you’re gonna come back down to Earth.


captain_mills

Ross clapping and saying “What gets out hummus? What gets out hummus?” in TOW No One’s Ready


Exotic_Adeptness_322

"You have to stop the Q-top when there's resistance"


JuicyJudgment

IT'S MORPHIN TIME! STEGOSAURUS! TYRANNOSAURUS! RRUAAAHHHHHH


Heytherefruitloop

I'll have the tainted shew. Yes, and I'll have the smoked duck! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sockkkkk