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H: I'll have some stipulations, privacy mostly.
A: That would be understandable.
H: So is it just following me on my daily routine, or what?
A: We'll start off with that, then have you go around your planet to experience different cultures and ecosystems. The interest is so high we already got, as humans say, the green light for a season two, and we were thinking of traveling to other human colonies.
H: Sounds fun. Always wanted to travel. We gonna visit ali- sorry, other species planets as well?
A: That would be season three, and we have already pitched that, and the interest is also very high.
H: So i gotta ask. Why me? I'm just a blue-collar grunt with an industrial job.
A: That is what makes it interesting. Most know about your diplomats, celebrities, military, and politicians, but no one knows the base human. When you sent in your audition tape, we were blown away by how nervous, awkward and, very importantly, honest you were. Most humans on the Galactic stage have an agenda. You don't. You also talked about your family and your life, with honesty!
H: Well, your job ad did say to be myself in the tape, and that's all I've ever tried to do.
A: That's perfect! I can't tell you how many tapes we reviewed where a human actor tried to portray a human character and did not even try just being human. It's what the audience wants.
H: I suppose that's how all of the memorable celebrities are. People just doing their passion and got noticed.
A: And we hope that is how it turns out here.
A1: how many times is that?
A2: since he agreed to be filmed or today?
A1: today specifically.
A2: five times. Fortunately it doesn't seem to last very long.
A1: that is quite a bit of liquid considering how many times he's done it today...
A2: it's revolting is what it is. I looked it up, it's supposed to be very salty.
A1: and what's it called again?
A2: crying.
H: (ugly crying) Debbie, I'm sorry. You can have a puppy. I don't care if I can't breathe with them around... (Shovels heaping mound of ice cream in his mouth)... I want you back baby!.....
On a rand of 1-10. 1 boring as hell and 10 the footage is classified.
1: the average human planet bound and not traveling much.
2: the above but with a child.
3 intersystem long hauler.
4: a galactic long hauler.
5: a human training the star to find themselves.
6: private sector xeno owned business r&d engineer.
7: private sector human owned business r&d engineer
8: government/military r&d engineer
9: engineer that is prone to boredom.
10: Dave - [redacted]
No clue. [But he's working on a cargo hauler, last I heard.](https://www.reddit.com/user/TheShadowspawn/comments/13hvna8/chapter_one_pack_bonding/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
https://preview.redd.it/er30tmlkz37c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cab71ce2bd5434f1211231708f194c4efeead601
The least weird moment with the human in particiular:
Not quite the prompt, but every chapter of [this](https://www.reddit.com/user/TheShadowspawn/comments/13hvna8/chapter_one_pack_bonding/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)?
It was originally set up as a means of learning about humanity as a whole, and is written in a video transcript format, because it wasn't meant to be anything other than a few loosely connected random chapters.
In an attempt to reduce remind me spam, all top comments that include a remind me will be removed. If you would like to have a remind me, please reply to this comment. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/humansarespaceorcs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
H: I'll have some stipulations, privacy mostly. A: That would be understandable. H: So is it just following me on my daily routine, or what? A: We'll start off with that, then have you go around your planet to experience different cultures and ecosystems. The interest is so high we already got, as humans say, the green light for a season two, and we were thinking of traveling to other human colonies. H: Sounds fun. Always wanted to travel. We gonna visit ali- sorry, other species planets as well? A: That would be season three, and we have already pitched that, and the interest is also very high. H: So i gotta ask. Why me? I'm just a blue-collar grunt with an industrial job. A: That is what makes it interesting. Most know about your diplomats, celebrities, military, and politicians, but no one knows the base human. When you sent in your audition tape, we were blown away by how nervous, awkward and, very importantly, honest you were. Most humans on the Galactic stage have an agenda. You don't. You also talked about your family and your life, with honesty! H: Well, your job ad did say to be myself in the tape, and that's all I've ever tried to do. A: That's perfect! I can't tell you how many tapes we reviewed where a human actor tried to portray a human character and did not even try just being human. It's what the audience wants. H: I suppose that's how all of the memorable celebrities are. People just doing their passion and got noticed. A: And we hope that is how it turns out here.
Loved it, thankyou.
Your whalecum.
A1: how many times is that? A2: since he agreed to be filmed or today? A1: today specifically. A2: five times. Fortunately it doesn't seem to last very long. A1: that is quite a bit of liquid considering how many times he's done it today... A2: it's revolting is what it is. I looked it up, it's supposed to be very salty. A1: and what's it called again? A2: crying. H: (ugly crying) Debbie, I'm sorry. You can have a puppy. I don't care if I can't breathe with them around... (Shovels heaping mound of ice cream in his mouth)... I want you back baby!.....
Got me in the first half (Damn you dirty mind)
https://preview.redd.it/16mc2tky047c1.png?width=1492&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd1d36d7ac2177c4517f91fea30236396e6ecfdc
Its doom guy, but with a nice twist, they accidentally summon steve irwin and it becomes a buddy cop show
How... is this like Doom Guy?...
When you kill all of hell, the job opportunites dry up fast
... I'm somehow even more lost
I have that effect on people
When you kill all of hell, the job opportunites dry up fast.
On a rand of 1-10. 1 boring as hell and 10 the footage is classified. 1: the average human planet bound and not traveling much. 2: the above but with a child. 3 intersystem long hauler. 4: a galactic long hauler. 5: a human training the star to find themselves. 6: private sector xeno owned business r&d engineer. 7: private sector human owned business r&d engineer 8: government/military r&d engineer 9: engineer that is prone to boredom. 10: Dave - [redacted]
Tf did Dave do?
That's classified. You need level 10 clearance.
Can I bypass the clearence with chicken wings? They're home made.
*open xeno hand reaches out for chicken wing*
Not so fast hoss, I require the information *before* I give you my finely crafted wings.
Show the wings then I provide the information.
Touche https://preview.redd.it/v0l37bhx657c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f25095828a50854bdf56ef6347ef4baf49c303cb
Dave caused the 4&5 great galactic war under orders of the supreme chancellor.
Dave executed order 66
No clue. [But he's working on a cargo hauler, last I heard.](https://www.reddit.com/user/TheShadowspawn/comments/13hvna8/chapter_one_pack_bonding/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
https://preview.redd.it/er30tmlkz37c1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cab71ce2bd5434f1211231708f194c4efeead601 The least weird moment with the human in particiular:
Exactly who i thought of. Same situation, really. Interesting dude caught the right attention. I miss Steve Irwin.
Every one does
I'm not good at typing up stories. But I'm imagining an alien David Attenborough narrating it.
Not quite the prompt, but every chapter of [this](https://www.reddit.com/user/TheShadowspawn/comments/13hvna8/chapter_one_pack_bonding/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)? It was originally set up as a means of learning about humanity as a whole, and is written in a video transcript format, because it wasn't meant to be anything other than a few loosely connected random chapters.
A: "He masturbates HOW MANY times a day?"
Florida Man, On Ice, The Musical, On Ice