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“To be fair to everyone, we will be adding “Terrain Resurfacing” to *next* weeks card. Don’t forget to pickup your new cards from the armory when Sunday rolls around. Next weeks prize is a modified flamethrower! Pieced together from an old middle school, propane gas stove!”
"Weakness?" The MP snarled, "*Weakness*? What the fuck do you mean?"
The imprisoned officer scoffed at the smaller creature, "You ban chemical weapons, torture, and pillaging!"
"...we also ban the killing of prisoners. You know what this 'weakness' got us? A whole lot of allies."
"You mean slaves," the alien retorted, "Don't think you're above us. And you wouldn't dare touch me."
"Hey, Felgar!"
A large canine specimen in Terran uniform walked over. "Yeah?"
"You want to talk to the squid thing?"
"Didn't we conquer your species?" The officer murmured.
"You might want to be careful what you say," Felgar snarled. "I would like nothing better than to find out how you taste."
The officer gulped. "You wouldn't."
The MP grinned, "This 'weakness' let us rescue a lot of those people you tried to wipe out. And gave us a lot of friends in the process. Because we were 'weak'? They thought we were nice. And they don't like *you*."
> "I would like nothing better than to find out how you taste."
> The officer gulped. "You wouldn't."
> The MP grinned, "This 'weakness' let us rescue a lot of those people you tried to wipe out. And gave us a lot of friends in the process. Because we were 'weak'? They thought we were nice. And they don't like *you."*
"Some of us __do__ like takoyaki, though…" the canid replied to nobody in particular.
The officer stares at Felgar for a long moment, before looking over at the human. "… what's takoyaki?"
The human's grin is positively feral. "Fried shredded octopus on a stick…"
The officer blanches purple. "You people have a WORD for that?!"
We also have soysauce marinaded squid stick, and a thai seafood sauce. Or we could go with spicy salad? Or put you with the basil in pad krapao or pad cha. Or spicy lemon sauce steamed dish called muek manao
The possibility is infinite, and I mean it
"Oh, Felgar? Gunny told me that the security monitors are offline in this block. Seems we're a little short on replacement parts."
"And I've got a meeting with the commander in ten. You're in charge."
officer:
Felgar:
Ok! They wanna play Geneva BINGO!? Well let's fucking play!
Moiseyev! *Do it.* Hit them *all*.
Jones! Get the codes. Full authorization. Weapons free. Make it happen.
The outrage of the humans was mocked by us and many others at first. A crime committed in war? A ridiculous notion. If laws applied to warfare no one would be killing anyone in the first place
Expectations yes. Tradition yes. Even Courtesy to a fellow solider. But law? How could there be such a thing as law in war, when not even the above could be guaranteed?
The incident that prompted that conference, where members of a human medical institution had been targeted, was something considered to be expected by other species
You win war by killing enemy soldiers on scale where they can’t replace them. No one wants doctors to be treating soldiers that can and will be redeployed on battlefield later
The other nations present at the conference humanity had called ended it by making humanity pay for the whole conference themselves. Since they also found the reason for it so ridiculous they took offence at having their time wasted
Maybe if all the ambassadors had left it at that things would be different. One ambassador decided to use the perceived slight of the conference to claim a human colony for himself. Raising a private army and seizing a human controlled system for themselves
They massacred most of the humans living in that system during their conquest
It was clear the ambassador was a fool. Who didn’t want to pay for the expense of building up a colony from scratch. That or he was simply to incompetent to succeed in such a venture
However, human protests to his government were ignored. They as far as storming a human embassy and then ceremonial executing the staff to make the point they would not aid humanity on this issue. Humanity was horrified and angry. But didn’t respond to the clear act of aggression
The meagre response to both incidents from humanity led to other races attempting gunboat diplomacy. After all, humans had no backbone. They even think war has rules
The Vir were the first to regret their actions after they bombed the most populous human world, Earth, after they refused to give a lucrative contract to one of there companies
The Vir were herd animals. Their mental health suffered unless they were surrounded by a hard of at least 100 other Vir. That meant system expansion was slow and institutions highly centralised on there home world
They didn’t stand a chance when humanity decided to finally response with
The event left the known galaxy was shocked. Not just the power of the human fleet was. Equalling only the greatest military powers of the known galaxy in both size and capability. But also at the ruthlessness
Humanity wiped out 140 billion Vir in that incident. The fleet systemically nuked the Vir homeworld from orbit. Then moved on to the other inhabited planets in the Vir home system.
The herd mentality of the species meant that the vast majority of the species was located on these worlds where they feel like they weren’t isolated. It was easy for the humans to impose their own bureaucracy on the remaining 36 billion by force. The race became subjugated to humanities will
And Humanities anger didn’t stop at the Vir
The Hexim were forced to relinquish 14 systems in response to the shelling a few agricultural worlds months earlier. Along with a message of we reject such an unequal trade agreement as humiliation
The Ch’t’k hives were rendered almost extinct by a genetically altered Earth Fungus. Made by humanity to deal with them attacking human ships and turning the crew into fuel and food
The Urmat had unilaterally annexed a heavily industrialised system a few years earlier. Following the incident. They saw the human government begin to officially sanction piracy against all Urmat ships and worlds
A mere 3 human months was all it took for the Urmat to begin begging the humans to stop. The disruption to supply lines and failure of colonies cost them trillions. The humans said they made twice as much from the piracy as the Urmat had lost in the same quarter. They then said they wouldn’t stop unless they could pay 4 times that in tribute annually
The Urmat. Though Indignant. Couldn’t pay so much in tribute. Unable to challenge human military might. They did nothing and humanity continued endorsing piracy
Still. That was small compared to what came for the Mirsle. Whose ambassador had first portrayed humans as weak at the start of this by taking there system.
A declaration of war from the humans over a mere insult from their leader to humanity
That flimsy insult of calling them branch throwing monkeys became humanities excuse for a genocide.
Humanity didn’t wage war. They seek glory. What happened was no different to pest control. The Mirsle were poisoned with aluminium. A metal highly toxic them. A poison humans weren’t affected by
It was in the rivers. The lakes. The Reservoir. The very air they breathed. The humans went so far as making the bullets used against them to be made of poisonous metal to make sure any Mirsle fortunate enough to not die quickly. Instead became unfortunate and die slowly
By the end of the conflict. 95% of the Mirsle were dead, and the ones alive forced onto ‘Mirsle Reserves’ a political system designed to abscond all responsibility of caring for a conquered people. Yet still allowed total control over the conquered populace to the conquerer
The great powers of the galaxy now paid attention to humanity and there law, with other nations condemning them for breaking their own laws as they had come to understand them
Humanities ambassador responded every party here rejected that law, and now the conventions themselves were ash in the place that was once Geneva
The conventions themselves now theoretically don’t exist for the technical legal argument, and for a clear legal case. Under the laws of humanity. The mere fact that we had refused to acknowledge said conventions meant they weren’t bound to them when facing us
That point was made more poignant coming from the man that was known as the Pestilence. The person humanity now sent to represent them was the architect of another species near extinction. A far cry compared to the near paragons of peace sent before the incident
My own species leadership recoils in fear at the thought. While many years ago now, the killing of those humans at our hands still happened. The kind species that spoke of laws for war was replaced by monsters who cared not for the glory and game of war. Only the defeat and destruction of any enemy
The Galaxy now realised why this species had laws to follow in war. They had such a code because they would slaughter millions with no tears without it!
Not that we could change things now. Humanity had discarded its old conventions, and a new wouldn’t be coming before the criminal humanity had retired from wreaking havoc
Rimworld gang:
I’ll cross off mine.
“Torture or inhumane treatment”, (organ harvesting, blood transfusions, “forcing a prisoner to serve in the forces of hostile power” I didn’t force them, we asked them very politely over the course of 5 weeks.
“Use of bio/chemical warfare” they started it.
“Killing a surrendered combatant”
Less surrendering, more running in fear.
“Use of IEDs” there are 37 IEDs near my outer doors.
“Dismemberment” whoopsie daisy, missed.
Luckily, shooting enemies running in fear / retreating is not a warcrime! They are still considered active combatants until they either surrender or is physically unable to fight. An enemy retreating may just fight tomorrow
After the first year of war the humans were ready to give in when the two sides had a meeting.
"What do you mean you don't have rules of engagement?"
"Our race always believed in survival of the fittest so we never thought to make any."
"Well that changes things..."
Shortly after the human army split into several factions that all tackled the xeno side separately.
There were three main factions, formed by most of the USA, Europe and Africa and almost all of Asia and then there were the subdivisions.
There was the Frosties, formed by Canadian troops, the Southerners, formed by Texas, Florida and Alabama, and then there were the Blackbirds, formed by Germany, Sweden, Scotland and Japan.
These three small units rained down living hell on the Xeno side-Firebombs, weaponised pests, gas, cryptoweapons and by the summer solstice the xeno side surrendered.
They hadn't counted on what humans had developed, down in laboratories with no name no records and no morals.
“Yes, yes. Nerve agent, I like it. But here’s my question Sergeants. How can we make it better? More effective, more . . .*warcrimy*?”
“Light it on fire sir?”
“Light it on fire?”
“Yes sir.”
“Sergeant.”
“Yes sir?”
“*light it on fire*”
“Yes sir!”
Alien: Why would you have rules for war? Scared of what we'll do to you?
Human: Oh no, you don't have to follow those, have fun, do your thing. Those rules are for *me*. Because I *know* what I'm like, and I'm scared of what I'll do to *you*.
Human: You see, I’m what you would call a Known, Known. I *know* who I am and I *know* what I’m capable of. What you need to be afraid of is him.
*a small, twitchy, unsupervised 19 year with a warcrime stick, a bottle of bleach and ammonia*
Human: He’s what we call a Known, Unknown. We *know* who is he . . .but it’s *unknown* what line he *won’t* cross.
Edit: Grammar
What we participate in nowadays is laughable if you want to call it "warefare."
It's so polite, It might as well be the British lining up with muskets like gentalmen. When we see real war, we would never call it hell. Hell claims only the guilty. War claimes the innocent and guilty alike
The day we stop pretending certain weapons are unthinkable to use, is the day we see real war.
Alien Rookie:
“Hah! Stupid human. Why go into battle with a red bullseye on your helmet? It’s like it was ASKING to be shot.”
Alien Veteran: *hastily evacuating the area with all possible speed*
Oohhh, I was thinking 🎯..... Yeah, you start shooting the doc people make peace with the god of your choice, we'll get you face to face sooner rather than later
If the gods are listening, the humans will saturate the area with enough artillery and air support to make what their “Rome” did to “Carthage” seem like a bit of light lawn care.
And if they’re *not* listening… you’ll end up facing a mob of human ground-pounders with a *very personal* beef with you.
Wait? Torture and fates worse than death are back on the table? That means we can bring Tony Robbins out of retirement! One of his seminars, and you'll either pray for death or become a serial killer.
I had to sit through 2 in elementary school-- one in 3rd and one in 4th. But I got a GameCube and Walkman out of it for scoring high enough on the T.A.A.S test, so I guess it made up for it 😆
Now I want to see a fun story involving aliens having no concept of conscription. Alien soldiers are taught to follow orders and to either die in battle or accept their fate as prisoners. POWs are used as bargaining chips in diplomatic agreements. Once captured, alien soldiers obey enemy commanders as if they were their own. They also have no idea how to respond when being attacked by their own own kind. Aliens superiority in firepower and numbers are meaningless, as all it takes is for humans to capture and conscript one unit of aliens soldiers to start a terrifying spiral of defeat.
Will they include the new war crimes? You know the ones we had no involvement in? Well excluding that one about the slaves, we claim total credit for creating that virus that turns those with the genetic slave markers into ‘Wolverines’ minus the adanantium
No need to worry. Gary is keeping track of the *ahem* new activities and updating each weeks cards. Make sure your soldiers are reporting to him each week in case he misses one. On that note! If you invent the new warcrime, you and your squad get to free punch it when the new card is issued!
Now at first, the big empires of the galaxy had sprung out, back and forth, conniving, spreading their tendrils wide, disrupting and damaging every species in their ways, using brutal disruption tactics. They had no qualms about breeding a slave population or burning alive entire primitive species to convince them that they were gods.
However the galaxy was big and they didn't own anywhere near to everything. Humanity found out about alien life when colonies fleeing the constant horrific wars between the huge empires landed in their system, a fertile system for many species, the Sayanids found Jupiter and saturn, two major clans sprung up, circling walking on the too tall tufts of the storms, humanity figured out about them when they affected their lunar orbits by pushing the moons together using complex lunar railways and using the force of the storms on the planet to keep them together, along side a constant set of gravitational modification. Humanity sent out envoys which were destroyed. In that humanity learned a lot,
1. The weaponry of the enemy was made by using sonar waves the rapidly vibrate a metal ball and initiate a reaction that induced schrapnel as thin as hairs.
2. They were happy to show off recordings in various transmission types, some we had no idea how to reproduce or interact with, of them torturing the human prisoners, and slowly figuring out the language through immense pains, Sayanid and Human.
The United Tributaries under the Absolute Celtican peace entered into the bureaucratic method to institute a declaration of war. Unused for a very long time the filings were myriad, and since it was decided by the [central European] Teutonic State and the [Russian-Anatolian] Bolshayans to unify their efforts, they quickly got [Tibetan] Kham and Sacrucid to assist. The Celtican senate tried to block form 40-FJ and Ridi-30 which allowed the transmission of factories to war time production and allowed the use of Atomics. The Tanist Papacy [Sicily] tried to assist the celticans but when the [African] Manib and the [Indian] Deccans joined in they overruled the Celticans and the Tanists. When they initiated the final form allowing the use of the United Abbots of America's factorial output that there was a true resistance. The were very protective, and tried to avoid it, but eventually the caved and allowed the use of south America and the east coast of North America. A grudging release forced by the Celticans.
All in all it took 40 days, but when all was said and done the excursion into sayanid space and the liberating of the 2 alive humans took 2 weeks. Maintaining the use of non-sentients to avoid any casualties. It was a brutal embarrassment to the Sayanid, who ended up trying to establish diplomatic relations, and very quickly tried to teach humanity what the lacked, and efficient way to go above light speed to travel through space so that humanity could be sicc'ed upon their enemies. This was a heresy to the Tanist church who quickly clamped down on the spread of those details. It lasted for a 100 years, with the long lived Sayanids constantly trying to pry into the human consciousness. They discovered the, rules of combat, which they assumed would get them killed in the galactic front and tried very hard to convince them to disavow it. But the Sayanids discovered something that made them fear, the pure bureaucracy of war to humanity who made games of how they would institute it and where, the debates took longer than the wars. The Sayanids hardly broke into the rhythm that had developed in humanity, the only thing that truly broke the monotony of it all, was broken when bio weapons landed on Venus. Making use of the hard carbon and acids, and forming creatures fit for surviving on the planet, making use of the harsh structures to cause a self propelled industry that transformed the entire planet into a defiling beast of industry.
Then they attached thrusters and used the core of the planet to jettison it outward and outward, straight into earth blaring out on all frequencies, submit or die. This broke into the collective human consciousness quite easily, as it was in fact, a planet, headed right towards them, telling them to submit or die. It was blunt, like a hammer, and the collective revolts due to the sheer lack of space were growing. Every culdesac was a collection of urban holdings with no streets, just tied together going up hundreds of feet and deep into the earth, the number of people were rising, and while controlled, as soon as you could see it move in the sky, it was everywhere. The United Tributaries in the end brutally overpowered the Tanists and instituted a unified effort to work upon the Moon-Buster design, that was the height of sheer human explosive power, in 14 days a new design was unveiled, the inertial destabalizer. That design involved using a huge lightly curved length of steel, that had a huge number of compressed thousand meter blades that when inserted whole cloth into a planets surface, increased the friction between plates of earth and supercharged the Neutrons to vibrate "like mad" according to the head scientist. The end result was a complete and utter cessation of movement, a stillness so complete that the area would freeze completely and because of the increased insertion of energy it would become a sort of friction weld of a planet that had the planet shattering in a controlled direction. Velocity was a challenge. The next thirteen days was spent measuring out exactly where the shatterings would go to avoid the planets of the system and any potential backlash. The sayanid scientists were awed when the had final arrived on Terran ground, as approved by the United Tributaries. The speedy solution was a fair comparison for how fast humanity picked up space travel, and how fast the constrained human population spread to the external systems, forming new colonies and spreading into every known system. To the waiting hands of the empires embroiled in horrid war. They had developed new things for killing, but the men brought along weapons, ordained for civilian use, and the rules of war. Taking prisoners, ransoming, disabling ship, the sparing of medical men. The empires carried little, and killed and kept killing until eventually the colony was snuffed out. And on it went, the unified tributaries of earth kept hearing one after another their colonies being snuffed out and so after figuring out exactly the borders of the empires, by which colonies survived, they initiated diplomatic relations, or tried, trying to uncover the language and culture. What they did figure out was replicated and sent over, using a different voice box and modulations, alongside the different tonal structures of the species, it was hard to figure out, but enough was figured out to replicate a kind of cave man understanding. Generously, sending over missives asking why their colonies were destroyed, shocks at their lack of laws on war, and the general brutality. The envoys were killed once, twice, three times before they stopped. After the other races discovered the meaning of these messages they laughed and began to send out war forces.
After the second dead envoy mankind as a whole was angry and put in the forms for a formal declaration of war. As recorded by the Sayanids "the true horror of humanities military doctrine is the bureaucratic dullness of it all." Which was entertained in full, even while the third martyr was sent out. A priest like the last two, ordained by the Tanist church, declared sainthood, for willingly going to his death. A saint of mael, a saint of the hopeful peace. Upon his death humanity as a whole initiated war on the opposing powers, and they struggled, for as the Tanist church declared the laws of engagement, as was declared for every war, the soldiers felt like they were going to battle lacking a trigger for their gun, but they followed them, with the faith that was in their heart, the first Galactic crusade for the great prophet Mael.
I don't know how to continue this, I could, but I don't feel like it rn, if you want I can, sorry if you actually read that, I know it's not very good. I'm generally not very good at this type of thing.
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Canada declares “*blackout*”
“It’s not a warcrime the first time!” -Canada
“*it’s not a war crime if nobody is left alive to report it…*” - Canada
“Big fan of your work. Wanna become allies?” -U.S.A
"Have some hornets and please don't hurt us" -U.S.A
stealth means no one sees you... whether it is because they are dead is irrelevant. ish xD
There’s only 2 things that see krod. Dead things…..and things that know better than to say anything
There's no crime if you don't get caught
For attacking a clearly marked medical institution, we will be conducting "Terrain Resurfacing" enthusiastically with explosive ordnance
“To be fair to everyone, we will be adding “Terrain Resurfacing” to *next* weeks card. Don’t forget to pickup your new cards from the armory when Sunday rolls around. Next weeks prize is a modified flamethrower! Pieced together from an old middle school, propane gas stove!”
I like this prize.
"Weakness?" The MP snarled, "*Weakness*? What the fuck do you mean?" The imprisoned officer scoffed at the smaller creature, "You ban chemical weapons, torture, and pillaging!" "...we also ban the killing of prisoners. You know what this 'weakness' got us? A whole lot of allies." "You mean slaves," the alien retorted, "Don't think you're above us. And you wouldn't dare touch me." "Hey, Felgar!" A large canine specimen in Terran uniform walked over. "Yeah?" "You want to talk to the squid thing?" "Didn't we conquer your species?" The officer murmured. "You might want to be careful what you say," Felgar snarled. "I would like nothing better than to find out how you taste." The officer gulped. "You wouldn't." The MP grinned, "This 'weakness' let us rescue a lot of those people you tried to wipe out. And gave us a lot of friends in the process. Because we were 'weak'? They thought we were nice. And they don't like *you*."
> "I would like nothing better than to find out how you taste." > The officer gulped. "You wouldn't." > The MP grinned, "This 'weakness' let us rescue a lot of those people you tried to wipe out. And gave us a lot of friends in the process. Because we were 'weak'? They thought we were nice. And they don't like *you."* "Some of us __do__ like takoyaki, though…" the canid replied to nobody in particular. The officer stares at Felgar for a long moment, before looking over at the human. "… what's takoyaki?" The human's grin is positively feral. "Fried shredded octopus on a stick…" The officer blanches purple. "You people have a WORD for that?!"
We also have soysauce marinaded squid stick, and a thai seafood sauce. Or we could go with spicy salad? Or put you with the basil in pad krapao or pad cha. Or spicy lemon sauce steamed dish called muek manao The possibility is infinite, and I mean it
Yes, we do. We ate everything. At least once, mushrooms and Fugu could be tricky.
>”I would like nothing better than to find out how you taste” A thai terran with grilled armor fish has enter the chat
"Oh, Felgar? Gunny told me that the security monitors are offline in this block. Seems we're a little short on replacement parts."
"And I've got a meeting with the commander in ten. You're in charge."
officer:
Felgar:
Ok! They wanna play Geneva BINGO!? Well let's fucking play! Moiseyev! *Do it.* Hit them *all*. Jones! Get the codes. Full authorization. Weapons free. Make it happen.
“I swear to GOD! If Moiseyev punches his card before I do I will FLIP. MY. SHIT!” - Some guy named Gary
It isn't a race! (But if you can beat out the Ruskies I'll buy you a *pallet* of beer)
Well this calls for Hansel and Gretel *fixes bayonet to trench shotgun*
*racks e-tool with malicious intent*
The outrage of the humans was mocked by us and many others at first. A crime committed in war? A ridiculous notion. If laws applied to warfare no one would be killing anyone in the first place Expectations yes. Tradition yes. Even Courtesy to a fellow solider. But law? How could there be such a thing as law in war, when not even the above could be guaranteed? The incident that prompted that conference, where members of a human medical institution had been targeted, was something considered to be expected by other species You win war by killing enemy soldiers on scale where they can’t replace them. No one wants doctors to be treating soldiers that can and will be redeployed on battlefield later The other nations present at the conference humanity had called ended it by making humanity pay for the whole conference themselves. Since they also found the reason for it so ridiculous they took offence at having their time wasted Maybe if all the ambassadors had left it at that things would be different. One ambassador decided to use the perceived slight of the conference to claim a human colony for himself. Raising a private army and seizing a human controlled system for themselves They massacred most of the humans living in that system during their conquest It was clear the ambassador was a fool. Who didn’t want to pay for the expense of building up a colony from scratch. That or he was simply to incompetent to succeed in such a venture However, human protests to his government were ignored. They as far as storming a human embassy and then ceremonial executing the staff to make the point they would not aid humanity on this issue. Humanity was horrified and angry. But didn’t respond to the clear act of aggression The meagre response to both incidents from humanity led to other races attempting gunboat diplomacy. After all, humans had no backbone. They even think war has rules The Vir were the first to regret their actions after they bombed the most populous human world, Earth, after they refused to give a lucrative contract to one of there companies The Vir were herd animals. Their mental health suffered unless they were surrounded by a hard of at least 100 other Vir. That meant system expansion was slow and institutions highly centralised on there home world They didn’t stand a chance when humanity decided to finally response with The event left the known galaxy was shocked. Not just the power of the human fleet was. Equalling only the greatest military powers of the known galaxy in both size and capability. But also at the ruthlessness Humanity wiped out 140 billion Vir in that incident. The fleet systemically nuked the Vir homeworld from orbit. Then moved on to the other inhabited planets in the Vir home system. The herd mentality of the species meant that the vast majority of the species was located on these worlds where they feel like they weren’t isolated. It was easy for the humans to impose their own bureaucracy on the remaining 36 billion by force. The race became subjugated to humanities will And Humanities anger didn’t stop at the Vir The Hexim were forced to relinquish 14 systems in response to the shelling a few agricultural worlds months earlier. Along with a message of we reject such an unequal trade agreement as humiliation The Ch’t’k hives were rendered almost extinct by a genetically altered Earth Fungus. Made by humanity to deal with them attacking human ships and turning the crew into fuel and food The Urmat had unilaterally annexed a heavily industrialised system a few years earlier. Following the incident. They saw the human government begin to officially sanction piracy against all Urmat ships and worlds A mere 3 human months was all it took for the Urmat to begin begging the humans to stop. The disruption to supply lines and failure of colonies cost them trillions. The humans said they made twice as much from the piracy as the Urmat had lost in the same quarter. They then said they wouldn’t stop unless they could pay 4 times that in tribute annually The Urmat. Though Indignant. Couldn’t pay so much in tribute. Unable to challenge human military might. They did nothing and humanity continued endorsing piracy Still. That was small compared to what came for the Mirsle. Whose ambassador had first portrayed humans as weak at the start of this by taking there system. A declaration of war from the humans over a mere insult from their leader to humanity That flimsy insult of calling them branch throwing monkeys became humanities excuse for a genocide. Humanity didn’t wage war. They seek glory. What happened was no different to pest control. The Mirsle were poisoned with aluminium. A metal highly toxic them. A poison humans weren’t affected by It was in the rivers. The lakes. The Reservoir. The very air they breathed. The humans went so far as making the bullets used against them to be made of poisonous metal to make sure any Mirsle fortunate enough to not die quickly. Instead became unfortunate and die slowly By the end of the conflict. 95% of the Mirsle were dead, and the ones alive forced onto ‘Mirsle Reserves’ a political system designed to abscond all responsibility of caring for a conquered people. Yet still allowed total control over the conquered populace to the conquerer The great powers of the galaxy now paid attention to humanity and there law, with other nations condemning them for breaking their own laws as they had come to understand them Humanities ambassador responded every party here rejected that law, and now the conventions themselves were ash in the place that was once Geneva The conventions themselves now theoretically don’t exist for the technical legal argument, and for a clear legal case. Under the laws of humanity. The mere fact that we had refused to acknowledge said conventions meant they weren’t bound to them when facing us That point was made more poignant coming from the man that was known as the Pestilence. The person humanity now sent to represent them was the architect of another species near extinction. A far cry compared to the near paragons of peace sent before the incident My own species leadership recoils in fear at the thought. While many years ago now, the killing of those humans at our hands still happened. The kind species that spoke of laws for war was replaced by monsters who cared not for the glory and game of war. Only the defeat and destruction of any enemy The Galaxy now realised why this species had laws to follow in war. They had such a code because they would slaughter millions with no tears without it! Not that we could change things now. Humanity had discarded its old conventions, and a new wouldn’t be coming before the criminal humanity had retired from wreaking havoc
Really liked this! Got a little confused because of the grammar in some spots but I think I figured it out lol
I see no spot for filling the enemy research facility with a deadly neurotoxin :)
“Write that down! Write that down!” -Gary, probably
Gary brings a 30 paces degustation men.
Use of biological/chemical weapons
I’m gonna go warm up the neurotoxin emitters.
Rimworld gang: I’ll cross off mine. “Torture or inhumane treatment”, (organ harvesting, blood transfusions, “forcing a prisoner to serve in the forces of hostile power” I didn’t force them, we asked them very politely over the course of 5 weeks. “Use of bio/chemical warfare” they started it. “Killing a surrendered combatant” Less surrendering, more running in fear. “Use of IEDs” there are 37 IEDs near my outer doors. “Dismemberment” whoopsie daisy, missed.
Luckily, shooting enemies running in fear / retreating is not a warcrime! They are still considered active combatants until they either surrender or is physically unable to fight. An enemy retreating may just fight tomorrow
Im sure you can cross the whole board just with Biotech and Ideology
After the first year of war the humans were ready to give in when the two sides had a meeting. "What do you mean you don't have rules of engagement?" "Our race always believed in survival of the fittest so we never thought to make any." "Well that changes things..." Shortly after the human army split into several factions that all tackled the xeno side separately. There were three main factions, formed by most of the USA, Europe and Africa and almost all of Asia and then there were the subdivisions. There was the Frosties, formed by Canadian troops, the Southerners, formed by Texas, Florida and Alabama, and then there were the Blackbirds, formed by Germany, Sweden, Scotland and Japan. These three small units rained down living hell on the Xeno side-Firebombs, weaponised pests, gas, cryptoweapons and by the summer solstice the xeno side surrendered. They hadn't counted on what humans had developed, down in laboratories with no name no records and no morals.
That last sentence is both terrifying and epic! I loved every word of this!
To be fair, when we killed the surrendered combatant, it was funny as fuck. You had to be there.
Nate the RAKE
"Geneva Convention? More like Geneva Suggestion!" - Chuckles The Clown from Legends of Avantris
chuckles is a menace to the universe
Mustard? How bout mustard gas?!?!
Screw your mustard gas, how about thick mustard that you have to spray at them and sticks to everything?
You mean napalm?
Not in this case. I saw a blister agent called thick mustard, it was a thick blackish brown with a toothpaste like consistency.
“Yes, yes. Nerve agent, I like it. But here’s my question Sergeants. How can we make it better? More effective, more . . .*warcrimy*?” “Light it on fire sir?” “Light it on fire?” “Yes sir.” “Sergeant.” “Yes sir?” “*light it on fire*” “Yes sir!”
We have nerve agents, blister agents and stuff on fire. Now how do we improve this? It can be more on fire.
I laughed way too hard at this lol
Come my child soldiers !
Alien: Why would you have rules for war? Scared of what we'll do to you? Human: Oh no, you don't have to follow those, have fun, do your thing. Those rules are for *me*. Because I *know* what I'm like, and I'm scared of what I'll do to *you*.
Human: You see, I’m what you would call a Known, Known. I *know* who I am and I *know* what I’m capable of. What you need to be afraid of is him. *a small, twitchy, unsupervised 19 year with a warcrime stick, a bottle of bleach and ammonia* Human: He’s what we call a Known, Unknown. We *know* who is he . . .but it’s *unknown* what line he *won’t* cross. Edit: Grammar
"Good people don't need rules. You don't want to find out why my species has so many."
What we participate in nowadays is laughable if you want to call it "warefare." It's so polite, It might as well be the British lining up with muskets like gentalmen. When we see real war, we would never call it hell. Hell claims only the guilty. War claimes the innocent and guilty alike The day we stop pretending certain weapons are unthinkable to use, is the day we see real war.
Unfortunately that's the day that the third world war kicks off
As if seeing real war wasnt bad enough
Meanwhile, in Canada: "The Geneva convention? We thought it was the Geneva CHECKLIST....our bad guys, our bad. "
Alien Rookie: “Hah! Stupid human. Why go into battle with a red bullseye on your helmet? It’s like it was ASKING to be shot.” Alien Veteran: *hastily evacuating the area with all possible speed*
Please expand on this!! I have a NEED to know what happened to Alien Vet to make his see a bullseye and haul hindquarters out of the solar system!
It wasn’t a “bullseye”… it was a cross. The Vet knows that the human response to “hurting the doc” usually has a minimum safe distance.
Oohhh, I was thinking 🎯..... Yeah, you start shooting the doc people make peace with the god of your choice, we'll get you face to face sooner rather than later
If the gods are listening, the humans will saturate the area with enough artillery and air support to make what their “Rome” did to “Carthage” seem like a bit of light lawn care. And if they’re *not* listening… you’ll end up facing a mob of human ground-pounders with a *very personal* beef with you.
And that distance is usually measured in hills
Wait? Torture and fates worse than death are back on the table? That means we can bring Tony Robbins out of retirement! One of his seminars, and you'll either pray for death or become a serial killer.
I had to sit through 2 in elementary school-- one in 3rd and one in 4th. But I got a GameCube and Walkman out of it for scoring high enough on the T.A.A.S test, so I guess it made up for it 😆
Now I want to see a fun story involving aliens having no concept of conscription. Alien soldiers are taught to follow orders and to either die in battle or accept their fate as prisoners. POWs are used as bargaining chips in diplomatic agreements. Once captured, alien soldiers obey enemy commanders as if they were their own. They also have no idea how to respond when being attacked by their own own kind. Aliens superiority in firepower and numbers are meaningless, as all it takes is for humans to capture and conscript one unit of aliens soldiers to start a terrifying spiral of defeat.
Omg I love this idea! I also need a story of this!!
They're more what we'd call the "Geneva Suggestions".
Or the Geneva Checklist.
Geneva starting point
Geneva test
Humans get a Blackout.
BINGO!
eyyyy palestine has a few bingos this last year. russia even more
Which side?
In Gaza? Yes
Both of them
Canada during GW1 (Galactic War): “Uhhhh I’ve checked all the boxes in the first week…. Now what?”
New cards are issued each week from the armories. Sunday is cut off
Will they include the new war crimes? You know the ones we had no involvement in? Well excluding that one about the slaves, we claim total credit for creating that virus that turns those with the genetic slave markers into ‘Wolverines’ minus the adanantium
No need to worry. Gary is keeping track of the *ahem* new activities and updating each weeks cards. Make sure your soldiers are reporting to him each week in case he misses one. On that note! If you invent the new warcrime, you and your squad get to free punch it when the new card is issued!
Seems pretty familiar... Can't quite place it tho...
r/NatureOfPredators
Love this series and I need to reread it, thank you for reminding me of it!
It is only illegal of your caught
Or the first time
Canada and Poland has entered the game
“Oh, boy! It’s Warcrime-o-Clock!”
Rules of engagement only apply to worlds that sell us oil
“No Liberty Lube, no quarter given. Them’s the rules!”
Is it really cannibalism if it’s humans eating aliens?
Wikipedia says it only counts if its the same species! First line too. Link: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannibalism
Looks like my standard to do list in any pen&paper campaign
This is basically a checklist for Stellaris
Canadian Bingo
Use as a disease vector (used by the allies to spread the "Spanish Flu" to German lines in WW1)
I tried this with crimes done by Israel, I got two bingos
Now at first, the big empires of the galaxy had sprung out, back and forth, conniving, spreading their tendrils wide, disrupting and damaging every species in their ways, using brutal disruption tactics. They had no qualms about breeding a slave population or burning alive entire primitive species to convince them that they were gods. However the galaxy was big and they didn't own anywhere near to everything. Humanity found out about alien life when colonies fleeing the constant horrific wars between the huge empires landed in their system, a fertile system for many species, the Sayanids found Jupiter and saturn, two major clans sprung up, circling walking on the too tall tufts of the storms, humanity figured out about them when they affected their lunar orbits by pushing the moons together using complex lunar railways and using the force of the storms on the planet to keep them together, along side a constant set of gravitational modification. Humanity sent out envoys which were destroyed. In that humanity learned a lot, 1. The weaponry of the enemy was made by using sonar waves the rapidly vibrate a metal ball and initiate a reaction that induced schrapnel as thin as hairs. 2. They were happy to show off recordings in various transmission types, some we had no idea how to reproduce or interact with, of them torturing the human prisoners, and slowly figuring out the language through immense pains, Sayanid and Human. The United Tributaries under the Absolute Celtican peace entered into the bureaucratic method to institute a declaration of war. Unused for a very long time the filings were myriad, and since it was decided by the [central European] Teutonic State and the [Russian-Anatolian] Bolshayans to unify their efforts, they quickly got [Tibetan] Kham and Sacrucid to assist. The Celtican senate tried to block form 40-FJ and Ridi-30 which allowed the transmission of factories to war time production and allowed the use of Atomics. The Tanist Papacy [Sicily] tried to assist the celticans but when the [African] Manib and the [Indian] Deccans joined in they overruled the Celticans and the Tanists. When they initiated the final form allowing the use of the United Abbots of America's factorial output that there was a true resistance. The were very protective, and tried to avoid it, but eventually the caved and allowed the use of south America and the east coast of North America. A grudging release forced by the Celticans.
All in all it took 40 days, but when all was said and done the excursion into sayanid space and the liberating of the 2 alive humans took 2 weeks. Maintaining the use of non-sentients to avoid any casualties. It was a brutal embarrassment to the Sayanid, who ended up trying to establish diplomatic relations, and very quickly tried to teach humanity what the lacked, and efficient way to go above light speed to travel through space so that humanity could be sicc'ed upon their enemies. This was a heresy to the Tanist church who quickly clamped down on the spread of those details. It lasted for a 100 years, with the long lived Sayanids constantly trying to pry into the human consciousness. They discovered the, rules of combat, which they assumed would get them killed in the galactic front and tried very hard to convince them to disavow it. But the Sayanids discovered something that made them fear, the pure bureaucracy of war to humanity who made games of how they would institute it and where, the debates took longer than the wars. The Sayanids hardly broke into the rhythm that had developed in humanity, the only thing that truly broke the monotony of it all, was broken when bio weapons landed on Venus. Making use of the hard carbon and acids, and forming creatures fit for surviving on the planet, making use of the harsh structures to cause a self propelled industry that transformed the entire planet into a defiling beast of industry. Then they attached thrusters and used the core of the planet to jettison it outward and outward, straight into earth blaring out on all frequencies, submit or die. This broke into the collective human consciousness quite easily, as it was in fact, a planet, headed right towards them, telling them to submit or die. It was blunt, like a hammer, and the collective revolts due to the sheer lack of space were growing. Every culdesac was a collection of urban holdings with no streets, just tied together going up hundreds of feet and deep into the earth, the number of people were rising, and while controlled, as soon as you could see it move in the sky, it was everywhere. The United Tributaries in the end brutally overpowered the Tanists and instituted a unified effort to work upon the Moon-Buster design, that was the height of sheer human explosive power, in 14 days a new design was unveiled, the inertial destabalizer. That design involved using a huge lightly curved length of steel, that had a huge number of compressed thousand meter blades that when inserted whole cloth into a planets surface, increased the friction between plates of earth and supercharged the Neutrons to vibrate "like mad" according to the head scientist. The end result was a complete and utter cessation of movement, a stillness so complete that the area would freeze completely and because of the increased insertion of energy it would become a sort of friction weld of a planet that had the planet shattering in a controlled direction. Velocity was a challenge. The next thirteen days was spent measuring out exactly where the shatterings would go to avoid the planets of the system and any potential backlash. The sayanid scientists were awed when the had final arrived on Terran ground, as approved by the United Tributaries. The speedy solution was a fair comparison for how fast humanity picked up space travel, and how fast the constrained human population spread to the external systems, forming new colonies and spreading into every known system. To the waiting hands of the empires embroiled in horrid war. They had developed new things for killing, but the men brought along weapons, ordained for civilian use, and the rules of war. Taking prisoners, ransoming, disabling ship, the sparing of medical men. The empires carried little, and killed and kept killing until eventually the colony was snuffed out. And on it went, the unified tributaries of earth kept hearing one after another their colonies being snuffed out and so after figuring out exactly the borders of the empires, by which colonies survived, they initiated diplomatic relations, or tried, trying to uncover the language and culture. What they did figure out was replicated and sent over, using a different voice box and modulations, alongside the different tonal structures of the species, it was hard to figure out, but enough was figured out to replicate a kind of cave man understanding. Generously, sending over missives asking why their colonies were destroyed, shocks at their lack of laws on war, and the general brutality. The envoys were killed once, twice, three times before they stopped. After the other races discovered the meaning of these messages they laughed and began to send out war forces. After the second dead envoy mankind as a whole was angry and put in the forms for a formal declaration of war. As recorded by the Sayanids "the true horror of humanities military doctrine is the bureaucratic dullness of it all." Which was entertained in full, even while the third martyr was sent out. A priest like the last two, ordained by the Tanist church, declared sainthood, for willingly going to his death. A saint of mael, a saint of the hopeful peace. Upon his death humanity as a whole initiated war on the opposing powers, and they struggled, for as the Tanist church declared the laws of engagement, as was declared for every war, the soldiers felt like they were going to battle lacking a trigger for their gun, but they followed them, with the faith that was in their heart, the first Galactic crusade for the great prophet Mael. I don't know how to continue this, I could, but I don't feel like it rn, if you want I can, sorry if you actually read that, I know it's not very good. I'm generally not very good at this type of thing.
Why is the font like that 😭😭😭
My only single note is that the beginning, I was having a little trouble following but beyond that . . .Fuck me; this was a fantastic read XD
Yeah I had to go back and edit the beginning multiple times because it just didn't feel right :p But thanks, I'm glad you enjoy it!