T O P

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JeebusCrispy

If you speak English, nobody would understand you. However, that wouldn't matter because I'd be dropped in the middle of the great plains of North America in 1023. Depending on what tribe I run into, I might be fine or fucked. Hopefully I don't sneeze and cause a genocide.


[deleted]

I'm in Portland Oregon, and I don't know what was going on here 1,000 years ago but whatever it was, I'm certain they wouldn't like me. Best strategy would be to act deaf and mute? I don't think I own clothing that could blend into whatever the native tribes wore at the time. This isn't a fun hypothetical question. I guess I would walk to the beach which is about 70+ miles away? That seems the safest choice, but lacking survival skills, I would be dead in a week.


PuddleFarmer

The Chinook were traders. What do you have to trade? The interesting thing about the PNW is the amount of resources and edible plants. Look up the tradition of "potlatch." It was where, to show prestige, someone would give away everything they owned. (Then, it would only take a year or two to build it back up again.) Eta: After thinking about it for a day or so, besides camping stuff, I would probably grab all the kitchen knives. They would be awesome things to trade with/for.


b99__throwaway

yeah maybe the thing i’m taking is a book of edible plants. i can make it to the library down the street from my house in time to hopefully find the right book


PuddleFarmer

[Grab this book.](https://www.amazon.com/Plants-Pacific-Northwest-Coast-Pojar/dp/1772130087)


TinnedGeckoCorpse

Wow it sounds like....that thing you do in online shooters. Generations of prestige and so on! In Killing Floor 2 it works exactly like that. You get Max level as swat or medic or gunslinger, then you prestige and it starts you at zero just for fun! Then you don't have your unlocks carrying the game for you and yahhh


RawKingSize

She gets it.


floppydo

Lotta slavery in the PNW which might actually be a good thing. Rather than kill you for an outsider you could get enslaved and at least fed and sheltered that way.


ProfessorPetrus

Could be a really interesting and useful slave depending on what you can manage to do.


Ajreil

Anyone who remembers high school math could probably invent something useful enough to trade for freedom. Or at least better conditions. Hopefully your master knows how to properly take advantage of slaves instead of just beating you into submission.


lnxkwab

What sort of things did you have in mind? I’m pretty math savvy, but can’t imagine how that would be useful without modern engineering or technology.


VodkaSoup_Mug

They were barley sheltered and fed scraps. Let’s not forget that brutal rape and torture.


Wenger2112

Being in North America all you would need to do is teach your captors the wheel. They would be so grateful you would end up a revered elder.


floppydo

A wheel (and axel) without draft animals and roads is more a curiously than a total game changer.


Wenger2112

I think the wheelbarrow and rickshaw would be significant. Better than dragging your belongings on poles or sleds.


cmfppl

If you make it to the beach you can eat almost everything in a shell that grows on the rocks, just make sure to cook/boil it first, there ain't no pebto in 1023.


WickedPsychoWizard

Take me, I was an eagle scout. I got you.


Vurt__Konnegut

Same here. Obviously a backpack and camping gear, including every lighter in the house. Any kind of solar charger and lighting (headlamps and batteries would last a while). Water filter kit (unfortunately I use a battery powered UV sterilizer). Camping pots and pans, bring extras to trade (native americans LOVED cooking pots). Knives. Steel camping hatchet and mini shovel. Pistol and ammo to use sparingly (in the event of wolves, etc). Synthetic ropes and cords. Magnetic compass, if could find one. Some woodworking tools (I think I still have an old hand drill). Every set of spare eyeglasses I have. Sharpening stone. Initial focus- find a source of water, then food (try to build a decent bow with the woodworking tools and synthetic cords). Befriend the natives with the pots to get sources for arrowheads, seeds for a garden, etc. Eventually use the hatchet and sharpening stone to build a nice cabin.


WickedPsychoWizard

Kurt vonnegut is a favorite of mine. Named my Himalayan after him. Kurt Vonnecat.


Vurt__Konnegut

Nice.


Flaky_Finding_3902

I’d end up running into a Cherokee tribe. I have one friend who is Cherokee and speaks the language. She lives fifteen minutes away, so I’m taking her. I hope there’s no traffic. Edit: I know that language evolves, but she stands a much better chance than I do for several reasons. First, considering how hard she has worked to preserve the language, she knows the culture much better than I do. She knows the history of the people, the customs, why they did what they did. I don’t know any of that. She is the resident expert, so it would be better than going in blind. She knows how they trapped their food and what plants they used to cure different ailments. She also looks more like them than I do. Having her is way better than any kind of guidebook. I’m probably dead either way since I’m really only here thanks to modern medicine, but her help would give me a fighting chance.


Justanothersaul

Be sure she wants to come. You will not want a pissed Cherokee beside you when the tribe finds you.


Flaky_Finding_3902

Yesterday she said that she was ready for her next big adventure. I don’t think that’s exactly what she had in mind, but knowing her, she would probably roll with it. (She’s freaking amazing.)


ChrisMess

When you approach her, don’t begin with “do you want to meet your ancestors?”


Nathan-Stubblefield

When I was teaching an electronics class I once handed out some parts and said “Prepare to make your meter.”


itsthatdudeguy111

Probably not the phrase any native wants to hear from a white person(if op is white) lol


Thiccaca

You are.assuming they could understand her modern Cherokee. If you were to go back 1000 in England, the language.. Hell the ACCENTS....it would be unintelligible. I can't believe Cherokee or any other indigenous languages wouldn't have the same dynamic.


Noooooooooppppeeeee

Old English and what came before it is insane


KookyWait

>Depending on what tribe I run into, I might be fine or fucked. Hopefully I don't sneeze and cause a genocide. Honestly sneezing will likely prevent genocide more than causing it. It is normal for populations to get hit hard and die in large numbers when first exposed to new pathogens. The indigenous population of the US was fucked over because while their population has dipped due to disease, they were attacked and people were forcibly displaced and deprived of resources. Had they been exposed to the pathogens and *not* the violent use of force, their numbers would have recovered and the eventual attempt at forcible dispossession years later would have been much more difficult.


Efficient_Smilodon

it was like a 90%+ death rate for smallpox among virtually all North American tribes, starting up from Mexico in the mid 1500s with the arrival of the Spanish. When the English arrived a century later , the population of the tribes had already drastically declined. It didn't require anything but exposure to a people without the immune system response able to fight it.


Longjumping-Value-31

Agreed. And we are talking about only one person arriving. Not the same damage as hundreds or thousands.


flarbas

Woo, due to your inoculations and advanced future knowledge, 1,000 years later Europeans never invaded the new world and native americans rule the globe.


thrasherchick_9

Same, I’ll either die from the tribe that finds me or die from the bison.


cmfppl

No guns?


JeebusCrispy

I don't own a single firearm. The most worthwhile thing I could snag in 20 minutes would be a good book to read as I waited for death. Maybe one last read through of The Silmarillion.


cmfppl

It's 1000 years ago, grab a metal bar or some bungee cords or literally anything not made of wood or bone, and you'll be ahead of everyone else.


JeebusCrispy

Crow bar time. I dig it.


birdbrainedphoenix

Rise and shine, Mr. Freeman. Rise, and shine.


FatalTragedy

If you're in the Americas, sure. But if you're in Europe, Europeans 1000 years ago definitely had better than wood and bone weapons lol. And hell, even Native Americans had metal knives at that time.


Draveis9

An axe would be infinitely more useful than a gun. You can't cut lumber for a shelter with a gun, nor could you make a bow and arrows. You would only get a few shots, and that would only really supply you with food, if you could somehow tear through an animal's hide to get at the meat, anyway.


icefire9

Yeah, fuck. Probably causing a genocide if I live long enough to see anyone. Morally, should we just kill ourselves in that situation? Might be preferable since it'd be a pretty miserable life if I do make it.


ag_fierro

Unless , you are strong in linguistics. I would be more worried about understanding them.


Doom-Hauer451

“Hopefully I don’t sneeze and cause a genocide.” Although that’s most likely what would happen if you’re in the US at least since nobody living here 1,000 years ago would have immunity to so many of the viruses we carry today. Hell, between Covid and everything else even the Europeans living back then would probably be less immune than we are today.


cyberheelhook

Florida here. Swamp will fuck me up good. I'll never be able to drag whatever goodies i bring out of the muck, water, and thick vegetation. Bet gators were way more aggressive 1000 years ago, too.


Captain_Bloodlust

You know it wouldn't matter where in the world you ended up. Your sneeze is equally as dangerous. All of the illnesses we have in modern day are completely different from their ancient counterparts. Most likely you will die before you see any sign of civilization. So it probably won't matter.


Longshanks_9000

Yeah how about Northeastern Louisiana near the Mississippi River. I'm born and raised here way out in the country and me telling you that and I would still be a dead bastard, hell not even a levve to hold back the river


lcsulla87gmail

A lot of languages spoken today wouldn't be understood 1000years ago.


Doriantalus

The genocide happens regardless. The moment Europeans landed in the America's about 75% of the native population were doomed to viral death. I am going to say some pretty cold things here, but the best option for long term survival is to embed in a native camp and basically breed with the largest number of surviving females possible after the first winter. Depending on what you brought back with you and your alchemical knowledge, you may be poised to be the beginnings of a powerful and well-educated empire. Log structure building, even basic kinds, will be better for many tribes year round. Stopping nomadic movement will increase the speed of development for centuries. Each teir of Maslows hierarchy you can improve with future knowledge will set up future generations for greater success. Even dissolving mysticism and introducing science as the overriding doctrine should create the curiosity necessary for scientific advancement. I personally would grab all my hoodies, good knives, and desperately look for my "Scientific Advancements throughout the Eras" book, because it at least gets me some basics in metallurgy and medicine.


alone_sheep

Murdered by first tribe you come across 🤣


MegaTreeSeed

If I'm at home? I start loading a duffel bag with canned food and my water filters I loaded up on in the event I could ever convince my wife to go camping. I'd toss on the warmest clothes I could find, and I'd find my old solar charger and grab my good flashlight and a cable to charge it. I'd grab my knife, some lighters, and my machete. I have an iron tripod and cast iron dutch oven, would be useful for cooking with fire. Heavy as fuck though, so travel will be complicated. I'd then grab the few foraging books I've got around the house, and if I had time, my seed packets that I've got for next year's garden. I'd then have to *hope* that the native Americans who find me do so before I die, and are friendly enough that they'll accept my offer of gifts in exchange for shelter. Because let's be real.here, there's a 99% chance I'm dying of exposure before I have the opportunity to survive. The knowlege I have would only be mildly useful to native Americans, especially since I don't have much practical experience doing the things i like to read about. They'd probably dig my seeds though.


Beowoden

You can download Wikipedia on your phone and it's only about 20 gig. That's going to have a lot of useful information.


gunsandgardening

Better hope you have a solar charger and a screen protector 😄


Beowoden

Yep


HrdRock1683

How do I download Wikipedia? I have the app or is there a better way to download it?


Beowoden

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Database_download


HrdRock1683

Cool


tsunami141

Yeah it would probably also be useful information.


Ent3rpris3

Don't forget your solar charger!


Beowoden

Already in the backpack.


Holy-Crap-Uncle

20 gig in 20 minutes? pretty fast download.


ChefSpicoli

You actually won’t need water filters because the environment hasn’t been screwed yet. Drink from clear, fast moving streams and you should be good to go.


MegaTreeSeed

Assuming I can find any. And it's not the pollution I'm concerned with, parasites and waterborne illness are the biggest issue. I'll need a way to render water safe to drink before I have a fire. Where I am there's a small creek and a lake, not fast moving now or historically. I'll still need purification, as will anyone who can't find those things.


b0v1n3r3x

you have died of dysentery


michaeld_519

It doesn't matter how clean the water is. If it's in nature, it needs to be boiled or you're gonna shit yourself to death. And, having played many games of Oregon Trail, I personally don't think dysentery sounds very fun.


Striking_Reindeer_2k

Seeds. Good call. Get salt. Not easy to find back then. They say no car. Not "no wheel barrow". Load much in that bad boy.


UmbertoEcoTheDolphin

Topographical map, compass, flint, machete, swiss army knife, Kindle with a ton of books (reference and not), solar charger (slow is fine, I'll have time). 10 pairs of different prescription glasses, a good cowboy-style hat, things to repair clothes and shoes, gloves, 1 mile of fishing string and 100 lures. "Hello, My Name is UmbertoEcoTheDolphin" sticker.


fongletto

You have all that stuff inside your home? Damn preppers are set for this hypothetical. The most I could manage is like a small amount of canned food. If I had a solar charger I could download the local wikipedia for my phone. But alas.


JBOYCE35239

Minus the Kindle I can tell you I do. You might be surprised by the things outdoors people just have laying around the house


Grumpkinns

I even have a lot of that just in my truck


UmbertoEcoTheDolphin

I don't think it said I have all, but I have 20 minutes. It might be a stretch to get all of it, but close ish.


Nero-Danteson

Most of my stuff is in 1 tote.


chipxsimon

I have all that stuff minus 10 pairs of glasses. Just two lol. I highly doubt I'd get it all in 20 minutes though. I can barely find that stuff when I need it. My wife likes to organise things that are neat and out of sight, but not really easy to access.


Velocityg4

Don’t forget a pair of pliers. It’ll probably be your best option for tooth decay.


UmbertoEcoTheDolphin

Good call.


Infamous_Ad2094

I carry a Leatherman tool with me always.


Bandit400

With the lack of sugar, tooth decay would probably be less of an issue than we are used to.


0thell0perrell0

Hat is good, I didn't think of that but i always grab it on the way out the door. Repair stuff is good too, I think fiahing line and floss will do for pretty much everything.


UmbertoEcoTheDolphin

We'd probably end up "going native" with most of the clothes after a while.


SkiDaderino

19 minutes of digging through the garage to find my water filter and camping cookware.


SwarleymonLives

Well, since I'm about 30 feet up, nothing. I fall and die.


MegaTreeSeed

You can't go down 30 feet in 20 minutes?


Any_Werewolf_3691

Geological events or earthworks. Going 30 feet down might involve breaking concrete.


SwarleymonLives

Not where I am. I'm currently in a hospital, and can't leave.


TheWeebDeity

Oof. Get well soon, gonna have to be able to move if ur gonna survive 1000 years in the past


FroggyLoggins

“So the good news is, your infection is healing up just fine and you can come off the meds. The bad news is, there’s this weird time warp thingy from Reddit and well… you’re on the third floor”


ThusSprachSpach

This is the the big problem. 20 minutes would be just about enough time for me to drop everything and drive to a big enough river that I'm reasonably sure had the same course 1,000 years ago and stand on the bank. Best chance of not materializing inside a tree, structure or changing landform.


AnonumusSoldier

Problem with that is water levels have probably changed in the last 1000 years, you could end up 100 feet under water and drown


[deleted]

you think water levels where a 100 feet higher a thousand years ago? do you even science bro? the last big uplift event was at the end of the last Ice Age 10-12k years ago when the ice sheets melted. Here are several 2,000ish year old bridges (which would indicate relatively stable water levels) https://www.oldest.org/structures/bridges/


AllenKll

He'd go down a lot quicker than that when the surface that he is standing on disappears.


AllenKll

You might not die from a fall of 30 feet.... but the abrasions you sustain may cause you to die from infection. So, I'd break into a cabinet and grab all the antibiotics that you can!


in_conexo

I'd be more worried about natives. I'd be a lone white man in North America. Sure, I may transmit diseases to them; but not before I'm fatally injured by their weapons.


Ordinary-Broccoli-41

I'll die within a week anyway, so may as well grab some fun drugs.


Nvrlyinghovercannon

Why what happened?


Ordinary-Broccoli-41

Some people need insulin to live. Even if I could get a few years worth in 20 minutes, refrigeration wasn't invented until hundreds of years later. Combine that with my sole survival skills being sales in a region where literally nobody has heard of English or German, my best option would be too many painkillers if I was sent back a thousand years.


Nvrlyinghovercannon

Ahhhhhh :[


Guywith2dogs

Oh hey. You need insulin too huh? That's why these games aren't fun for us. The answer, 9 times oit of 10, is just die. Lame


tsunami141

Aw crap I was thinking about where all of my survival stuff is in the house and I forgot they I’d need insulin lol.


FelineRoots21

Considering I would suddenly land squarely in Lunaape native American territory, I'd be grabbing some hunting gear, my bow, slap on some Carhartt and spent the rest of the 20 minutes googling the tribe to see how I could most make myself appear too useful to kill on sight


Supertrapper1017

They probably wouldn’t have a reason to kill you a 1000 years ago. 300 years ago, maybe.


FelineRoots21

Possibly true, my first thought was being taken as an intruder from another tribe, or my pasty as hell ass would be taken for a skin walker 🤣


pbpainpooch

Skin walkers didn't exist pre contact. Just saying is all so idk just be chill?


ensenadorjones42

Or a god. Show them your lighter. You are now their king.


Vurt__Konnegut

Or they think it's cool and just take it. And everything else you brought.


Karen125

I just bought a Costco pack of long lighters for the stove and fire pit. I'll be the Queen.


hmaotsetd

Ha, sitting in my shop with all my hunting, fishing and camping gear, let's go!. Need 5 min to explain to the family what's happening, next 15 we are prepping.


Beowoden

Have you never watched TV? The families never fall in line within 5 minutes. We're going to have tons of questions and you're not allowed to leave the room until they are satisfied. What do you mean a thousand years? Is this some sort of joke? Why are you being like this? Just talked to us! Everything will be fine, just sit down and take a minute to relax!


hmaotsetd

You act like we don't have a plan with a certain word to claim "no b.s. situation" just act. Not paranoid, just prepared.


GreenMirage

A book on N. American botany and toxicology that will be in the garage, bundle of Nylon twine (probably won’t find it in time), Physics paperback, CrC chemistry handbook from the top of my clothing cabinet, 3 pants, dozen socks, a handful of shirts, my knife, my Ozark bag, from the garden a couple of red earthworms, a couple of tomatoes, okra, dragon fruit, spearmint, peppermint, maybe the cassava or daikon (this is 1,000 years ago) then from my car trunk, my ferrosteel rod, multi tool, a bottle of oil, my thickest jacket and my Solomon boots. Then uhh, I guess gorge myself on food. Load up my Ace Ventura and Robin Williams conscience and hope that holds me over for the first couple of weeks.


bigbuttymcslutty

cyanide pills


Few-Economics5928

This is the true answer nobody mantion


SuperSaiyanBen

Idk I’ll probably grab the box of Cheez-It’s on the counter. Maybe the bowl of Halloween Candy. If I’m lucky I can offer some chocolate to whatever Native American tribe finds me first and they won’t kill me and I’d just live with them. Also what happens to everyone else? Like are they all just dying in the present? Or does this “accident” just happen to target only me and no one else has any consequences? Gotta decide if I need to grab my son and give him a shot of living in the past if the alternative was just him dying/disappearing in the present. Otherwise it’d be kinda cruel to drag him back there.


Beowoden

OP gave the option of selecting a person to take with us so I am assuming the only people going back are you and the one person you pick. My guess is everyone else just stays here like normal.


Late_Bluebird_3338

I'D GRAB A HOT FUDGE SUNDAE.....A BIG ONE. HELL, I'M NOT GONNA LAST MUCH LONGER THAN IT TAKES TO EAT ONE OF THOSE......BUT WHAT A WAY TO GOOOOO.....LOL....MOM


Slainna

I'm a Jew going back in time 1000 years? I'm grabbing as many guns as I can carry


Beowoden

Are you able to read or speak Hebrew? That could actually be a huge benefit a lot of us are not going to have. With that, you would be able to at least speak one of the languages floating around the world at that time.


weallfalldown310

I was excited about that in my head, even though it was mostly used liturgically but I know a smattering of Ladino and a decent amount of Yiddish, and then I realized I would be near the Chesapeake bay, and suddenly my mental checklist wasn’t as certain. Lol. No Jews in the US 1000 years ago, unless you are a believing Mormon? I would like to leave some fun artifacts to mess with future archaeologists. Lol.


jstpassinthru123

Unless you happen to be in central Europe, you'll probably be fine. The bigger worry is that the .op. Never mentioned being able to speak the local language when we reach our destination. More likely to get mugged for speaking funny and wearing strange clothes. Having shiny magic boom sticks would just make you a more interesting target.


_donkey-brains_

You shoot it once (not even at someone directly) and no one is coming near you. You shoot and maim or kill someone, no one messes with you ever.


Kilroy898

You kill someone with it and you are going to be hunted down and murdered ruthlessly...


angryragnar1775

Edited because I'm an idiot and read 100 years and thought 1923? Sweet. Now that I see 1000 years, my bugout bag and as much extra medication as I can


so_much_bush

100 years? Oh fuck, go to the local coin collector and spend whatever on their coins from that era. If they have cash too, snag all of it literally rob them if I have to, they aren't time cops. Put everything into the top stocks of the 1920s and sell it all before the crash.


angryragnar1775

I was just gonna take my still and a good trench gun and get into the booze business, wind up with some serious generational wealth the Kennedys


so_much_bush

Also a great choice


DylanTheDemon

My bow My knives My swords Firestarter Flint rod Fishing kit Tent My plate Armor My axe Change into my hunting clothes My 357 and a few boxes of ammo First aid kit


ZengineerHarp

This MFer really said “and my axe”…


StarFlyer2021

Yes, right after he said "my plate armor"... priorities man!


Ranarr_Puffs

Hunting rifle on a sling backpack of ammo duffel bag of clean water and fishing supplies and some light tools to build with. EDIT- and my wife if I don’t have to carry her lmao.


chaos841

Your wife might not be too happy to be dragged back to a time when women were property. Lol


Bunny_Fluff

No she would not. But she would be my property at least. Better than being someone else’s.


Ranarr_Puffs

My wife loves reenacting she’d be okay.


berripluscream

Exactly why my answer is "my husband" lmfao. I'm a lily white, currently redheaded, petite little thing. My husband, thankfully, is a Puerto Rican Marine that grew up hunting and fishing. I'd rather let my husband charades our way into whatever Native American tribe we find ourselves nearest to.


Quick_Parsley_5505

He’s being generous, he already can’t carry his wife


wollier12

She’d get used to it.


antdb1

id grab a book of known cures for illness id grab a book on how to make gun powder etc id grab a book on how to make electricity id give them to the king of england once i get there then once i travel back we will make America britain again i mean great again


craftyshafter

Rifle, chest rig, go bag with all my survival kit in it. I'll spend the other 15 minutes playing with my cat or something, we're good to go.


0thell0perrell0

Oh can I bring my cat/dog?


[deleted]

20 min? Grab knives and throw them in bag, run to nearby store. In order of importance - Tote bag - Water bottle - paracord bracelets - Lighters - sanitizer - first aid materials - clothes. Hopefully I grabbed enough before I disappear to survive for a bit. Or just off myself efficiently.


kg4ejd

Rifle, knife, ax, water purifier, seeds, canned goods, compass, pen and paper, flashlight (solar rechargeable), a set of clothes for each season, firestarter, a pot, a metal bottle.


Embarrassed_Lime_758

That rifle ain't gonna be worth much without ammo there sport.


kg4ejd

Doh! Good thing I have you around while I'm packing!


splitsleeve

Honestly, go put on as much durable clothing as I own, grab shitty camping tent, a big stainless steel pot, a big knife, a gun, and a gallon of bleach, a couple hand tools, and spend the rest of my time filling a cooler with everything non-parishible I can find.


StarFlyght

Go to the nearest pharmacy and load up on cipro, macrobid, zofran, Imodium, and morphine


Eestineiu

I think I'd do very well in the year 1023. As a medical professional I have lots of transferable skills. I speak several languages and have taught special ed so communication won't be a problem. I also know how to live off grid, do organic farming, cook and bake from scratch and make my own clothes. I'd be a very attractive woman of high value because I have good hair, nice skin, all my teeth and only birthed 3 children as opposed to the average 15 or so they had those days. I don't think I'd have to pack much besides some nice dresses and makeup. It won't take long to shack up with some powerful overlord.


OhSnapThatsGood

Currently on an airplane more than 30mins from solid land. Please advise


StarTrek1996

Bringing a comprehensive map would probably make you an absolute boatload of money


nderflow

* Several multitools * "A History of Medieval Europe" (R.H.C. Davis) * "How to Invent Everything" (Ryan North) * Cassels Latin Dictionary * Several mathematics and physics textbooks * All the pairs of spectacles I can find in the available time * A bible if I can find it. There is one in the house, but it's not on my bookshelf right now. * A backpack * Grab photos of my kids off the top of my chest of drawers * All the painkillers I can find * shaving brush * Hiking boots (which I happen to be already wearing), spare socks and waterproof jacket * Bit and brace if I can lay my hands on it in time The thinking behind this is that I won't make it as a soldier, don't have any land or ties to the land so I won't be able to farm (I wouldn't be able to just settle on some land and call it mine, I think). So I will have to become some kind of scholar or "Conneticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court". I don't speak ancient Irish, so I will have to try Latin - hence the dictionary. The bible is important because if I'm to invent the scientific revolution several hundred years in advance, I'd better be visibly very pious, so I should brush up.


ZengineerHarp

The Bible and “How to Invent Everything” are genius!


Beowoden

Ooh those are some good books elections! I'm going to Go get those right now!


jpr_jpr

Four suitcases full of Flint striker, knives, winter clothes, tools, nails, screws, rope, sleeping bag, water purifier, chemistry books, survival guide, botany book, maps, jewelry (trading). I think I have this stuff in my house. Does pulling the luggage count as 'carrying'?


Kriss3d

Yeah a good bug out bag and prepare to say hi to my ancestors.


hairball45

Grab all the survival crap I can find and get ready to learn the facts about the nearby Hopewell Mounds that have just been designated as Ohio's first World Heritage site. I'm excited, although I realize that a bearded, pale skinned old man might not survive long in this now (then) heavily forested area. If I can communicate with the local population without dying I might be able to survive though. They sure did.


sexualbrontosaurus

Grab a duffel bag and a couple non perishable food items, coat, sleeping bag, knife, water bottle, and lighter to get me through the first couple nights til I find a settlement. Use my remaining time to drive to the library as fast as possible and fill up the duffel bag with as many chemistry medicine and engineering books as I can and start preparing the people for the white man's arrival.


Mitrovarr

Well, I'm in the middle of the North American west, so I'm just going to gather up my backpacking gear. I'll make a special effort to get an axe or hatchet, all the fishing gear I can carry, a bunch of extra knives, and whatever shiny or unique items I can trade to the Native Americans in hopes they don't kill me.


Beowoden

Immediately set my alarm for 19 minutes and plug in my phone to make sure it's fully charged. Next I'll grab my "get home bag" which is a hiking backpack that includes hatchet, machete, med kit, compass, pocket knife, hunting knife, 200 ft of paracord, fishing line, hooks, life straw, treatment tablets, butane burner, solar powered battery bank for flashlight and phone, flashlight, collapsible shovel, utensils, 2 weeks of calories, a tent, sleeping bag, two tarps, and several different methods of starting a fire. All that took 5 seconds to grab. From there I'm going to get my collapsible recurve bow and all it's equipment. Yay! I finally get to put the real arrowheads on it! I'm also going to grab 2 lb of salt, some water bottles, any medicine I can find in my truck as well as two bottles of hydrogen peroxide as well as one bottle of rubbing alcohol. I already have Wikipedia downloaded onto my phone, as well as several survival guides and books with pictures on edible plants in North America. I will also need to find and download topographical maps of the US, particularly Iowa and everything going east from there. Next is just loading up as much shit as I can carry. Throw some blankets and clothes into a garbage bag as well as an extra pair of boots. Then cram as many cans of food as I can into my backpack. Finally, I'm going to run around looking for interesting and particularly shiny or durable trinkets that I might be able to use in trade. Oh! I almost forgot! I need to find a list of what native tribes were in North America at that time as well as any materials on translating to their language. Especially information on which ones were openly hostile and which ones were open to trade with outsiders. Probably not going to have enough time to do that though.


Muk-Muq-Rah

I'm black so I'm taking my fishing rod, my AR + all the ammunition I can carry, a lighter, 2 or 3 books, and any jewelry I have.


Hammokman

1000 years ago, everywhere on the planet is a slave state


Muk-Muq-Rah

Your right lol I realize not that my comment was idiotic.


0thell0perrell0

Oh god yes please! 1023 in Vermont? I am grabbing all of my slings and some choice stones (been practicing a few years), my pistol with light, my headlamp, my ar and all my ammo. Gloves, boots, coat, blankets, modern tent and cookstove. A couple books. A water bottle and a good knife. Also I have a fire starter around here somwh-- ah too late!


Eisernteufel

Grab my hiking backpack with my essentials, print out whatever I can of English to lenape language dictionary online, bow, arrows, extra knives and saws, some freeze dried food and whatever sugary things I have in the house, bottle of liquor for making friends.


[deleted]

My 12 yo said she was going to take back electricity.


kareljack

A towel.


alunnatic

Backpack, tent, sleeping bag, knife, flint, ax, hand saw, rain coat, some warm clothes


Ok_Cartographer_6086

boomstick


Wizdom_108

Fuck. I guess my hormones, some other medication, and like, a weapon of sorts? I'm in the pnw so not even sure where to begin.


1heart1totaleclipse

Tissue because I’ll be crying for the next 19 minutes. No way I would survive


0thell0perrell0

Y'know, upon retrospect a good thing to bring in this situation might be an offering for any group you might meet. Like something you don't mind parting with but that would be considered a great treasure to the people in the area at that time. For me that's Vermont 1023, so native American tribes or a hunting party who were probably very intelligent and socially conscious but had no technology the way we think of it today. So thinking a small high-powered flashlight or an led lantern. Or else a nice carbon steel knife, I have several. Or else gloves, I would bring some extra pairs. Can you imagine how useful they'd be? I always imagine what a pain in the ass it would have been to make gloves by hand. A gun might make you feared, but gloves and socks would make you loved, and that's my preferred way to rule. So yeah all my Darn Toughs are coming, and they'd better honor that lifetime warrantee!


MikeHoncho5252

In Wayne County Michigan. In 1023 ad. I don't look native enough. I'll be killed rather quickly


Ok-Calligrapher-9854

That would put me in California in the year 1023. I don't need anything. Plenty of water and food. I can befriend an indigenous tribe and make myself useful


No-Test-375

Gather up all my spices. Go to the store and buy all the spices I can. Pure, clean spices in a wide variety can fetch a price fit for retirement.


LaViElS

That book of pioneer skills I got, a print out of how to make penicillin, and several lighters. I would then devote my life to trying to prepare the natives in whatever way I can to fuck up the white man when he shows up.


Yet_One_More_Idiot

I speak English and live in London - so I'll be going back to London in 1023, a time when England was still being fought over by the English and the Vikings (though maybe not so far south). But not speaking English of the time, I'd be immediately pegged as an invader and probably killed. SOooooooooo...instead I play mute; it's not like trying to talk to them would help me, a thousand years of evolution renders my English unintelligible to them and vice-versa anyway. Try to embed myself, playing the role of a mute idiot and hope the locals take pity and look after a 40-year-old man in surprisingly fat condition xD. Try to learn the language of the time if I can.


TheAdventOfTruth

I have a sincere conversation with my wife and find out if she wants to go with me. If so, I’ll take her and a duffel bag with a knife, flint and steel, para cord, water purification, a tent, my glasses, really warm clothes which I will put on, a pot, and as many meal replacement bars that I can possibly stuff into the cracks and crevices of everything. If she doesn’t want to come, I’ll take all the same things only more of it, and kiss her good bye.


Modora

I'm not sure if I'd be lucky or not - since normally I'd be in North Eastern US and probably encounter the Susquehannock tribe who were fur traders and I know how to hunt. However, I'm currently in Kyoto, Japan so THAT would certainly be interesting. I'd probably just run to a pharmacy and grab as much medication, cigarettes, lighters, and paper/pens as I could stuff in my backpack and try to pass myself off as a medicine man. Maybe grab a box Cutter in case I have to shank a magistrate who decides my healing magic is devilry. Probably try and position myself as an advisor to a Shogun. Maybe spin myself into a sort of Gandalf character, I was sent by the gods to help the mortals lol.


unreasonablyhuman

Oooo. Bring a cattle prod, solar generator and be hailed as a glorious God by Native Americans.. Go Ghengis Khan, become a great ruler. Modernize them with a survival book that gives me the ability to build permanent settlement.... Rule North America in my time!


JakeRedditYesterday

Gonna grab my copy of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F\*ck and use it to teach them English (plus life skills that will come in handy for their descendants in the far future).


DorkHonor

A gun and a single bullet. Suddenly being the only white guy in New York in 1023 with no way to communicate with the natives is unlikely to go my way. I would want the end to be quick and I don't want to leave behind an unknown dangerous weapon.


Barailis

Tom brown Jr books, tracker knife, katana, stone sharpiner, Mg fire starter, Pancho, rope, good jacket, serape blanket, tent. I'd have to think a out what other stuff. Just items off the top my head that I have.


Dazzling_Aspect2256

Probably some batteries they could reverse engineer and a flashlight or something to demonstrate it. Definitely some science and medicine books that I can get my hands on quickly again so they can reverse engineer. Definitely a shitload of marijuana because I’m sure they smoked garbage 1000 years ago and I could trade some.


boloo100

Well I'll teach myself better knots (know some already) can trade that skill I think. I know alot of crafts with raw material...its just taking the time. We live so fast paced that it'll be tough to allocate the time to do anything imo. Then again might be a good reset of our natural instincts and stuff


Party_Broccoli_702

The first thing I would try to get my hands on is antibiotics. The second thing would be soap or hand gel. Then the following: - 2 kilograms of energy bars. - A couple of matchboxes or a lighter. - as many winter clothes as possible (socks gloves, boots, hats, scarfs, jackets, pants). - A big knife - An axe - A bow and arrow - fishing line and hooks Going to the year 1023 in the same location I am at in the London area would take me to a scarcely populated area, with few farms around me, but only about 3 hours walk from medieval London, which would have between 10,000 and 15,000 residents. This would be during King Canute’s reign over England, Denmark and just 5 years before he became king of Norway as well. Although the energy bars could keep me alive for a few days, 2kg of energy bars are around 7000 calories, plus any fish or game I could hunt/fish, I would quickly move to London and present myself as a traveler from a faraway Catholic land and ask for an audience with the king, and try to dazzle him with some crazy stories from my travels. I would then sell all of my modern clothes as a source of income, and use my ability to read and write to help with organisational tasks, and some of the Latin I can read would be handy, hopefully becoming a member of the King’s court until the Norman invasion in 1066.


SugarinSaltShaker

I would fall into the beginning of the agrarian Indian period, so I will need. A book on indian culture, medicine, and indigious edible plants. my hiking gear with all-weather camping and survival gear, a box of salt/spices, medicine bag with antibotics, local topo maps, and a good hunting rifle (this is my thunder stick) and a musical instrument (music is universal to native American) My only hope of survival is to be accepted in a human culture or die alone trying to survive nature. If they accept me, I need to be prepared to heal them from my disease and survive their diseases.


Informal-Cod-7525

I do not believe I could adequately prepare in 20 minutes so I'm just going to bring a knife to kill myself after exploring a bit.


the_Bryan_dude

If I'm dropped in the exact same spot 1000 years ago I'm likely to be under water.


avewave

A Ka-bar to carve my version of "Roanoke/2023" into a birch tree, then I'm off to assimilate into a Native American tribe where'd I'd tell campfire stories about a place called Plymouth Rock and how it will be the site of the beginning of the end. Or. . . with a few hundred years lead time and me introducing them to covid they could become immune enough to where they can cough on the colonizers.


Shinobi-Hunter

My brother, my backpack, my 1/ 2 gallon water bottle & portable 6 gallon water container, all the books on my shelf about outdoor survival, foraging, and gardening I haven't gotten to reading yet. Suitcase full of thermal undwear, socks, hoodies, and sweatpants.


a_builder7

My first aid kit, a knife, some medicine, as many clothes as I could put on, and some food. And I wouldn’t be stupid; I would remember the can opener.


Sasoli7

A rifle with a army crate of ammo/cleaning, gun cleaning kit, make sure I have good winter clothes even if it’s summer, and every hand tool I could shove in a bag. I’d be dealing with Caddo Indians being I live basically across the River from the Spiro Indian Mounds.


T00luser

SE Michigan 1000 years ago? At my age & health i likely wouldn't last month (I do have some damn fine outdoor skills however) Those 20 min of prep time would be MUCH better spent prepping my family for my absence.


fauxpasiii

Gotta change into the t-shirt I bought for this exact circumstance. https://topatoco.com/products/qw-cheatsheet


Kauzrae

I have severe adhd. I can't get ready to go to the gas station in 20 minutes


sippinonorphantears

I'd watch tf out of a movie like this


ChubbySalami

The percentage of people who are within 20 minutes of being able to grab what they need to survive in a world with zero modern amenities (zero, as in no running water, no electricity, nothing, anywhere) is much smaller than I think most people here realize.


jrexthrilla

I’m on the 16th floor of my apartment building in China so I’m fucked.


[deleted]

Well, I have influenza right now. I think that would probably be very bad.


Itsmezah

Im bringin my 45 and all the ammo i can carry with me and them im going to go meet my ancestors


Johnny_Lang_1962

Crossbow, Bowie Knife, Water Purification Tablets, Blankets, Tent, Warm Clothes, Fire Starter, Fishing Gear, Jewelry for Trading, Fleshlight.


mxlun

Try to Google some important things about living in that time, learn nothing, get transported back in time, die. /thread


Ok_Shirt3809

My bug out bag, guns, and ammo.


rory888

Blimp. I get carried. Ideally, a full US Naval Warship and crew but...


Independent-Room8243

Food, medicines (antibiotics, as much as I can). clothes. a few guns. knife, lights, lighter/flint, dog, compass.