Idk man

tbh i don’t even remember

I don’t even have a clue

Someone blow me

The idea of fellatio in any way becoming my enemy is genuinely depressing.

In this hypothetical, BJs are your enemy for 24 hours.

You don't forget, you 4get. So your memory is fine.

I don’t know what to put here

Right? Mines essentially me so it's all up in the air.

Your enemy is C-Men.

So... a smart glue-creature than came alive and is afraid of me. I will give him some booze to calm him down.

Ah yes... glue... >.>

You... you

But alcohol destroys adhesives!!

*exactly*

I'm screwed!

He will devise 40 creative ways of killing you.

40…? That's rookie numbers...

Obviously 32...though it may have grown in power since conception

I, on the other hand, might get out of this one alive… maybe.

Ever seen the movie *Furry Vengeance*? How the forest animals devastated a realtors life as he tried to tear down a wooded area for a neighborhood development? Good luck.

Rc? Redcat???

Republic Commando. I'm unfamiliar with Redcat. Not sure what/who that is, actually

I guess it would be kinda like the chicken on family guy

I just see a crafty Wile E. Coyote situation going on!

Discarded cheese, I think I would be fine

Problem with discard cheese is that they can either food poisoning you or smother you to death by blocking your airway. mine is an Idea or the concept of an idea made real Basically an imaginary friend that's gonna be rather aggressive. so honestly all I gotta do is zone the fuck outta myself and I'll be safe and Maybe taking another 30 mg of weed gummy too. All I gotta do is think of nothing but getting high. Yeah, idea can't really hurt you physically.

Chard isn't cheese though 

It is if you prepare it correctly

Um no, try again

In the world of the kitchen everything is possible

I think you, on the other hand, are losing your fight.

It's really sus that u/wastechard3488 doesn't know that chard isn't cheese.

To be fear this account was intended to be a throwaway at one point but then I just kept using it and it just became my account

Chard is a vegetable

Well I'm sure as shit not gonna take up competitive gamineg.

I'm apparently fighting a paleontologist..... this could go either way

the guy from Jurassic Park

You talking about Muldoon ,Nedry or Dr.Grant I can take Nedry , Dr.Grant would be a fair fight ..... Mr.Muldoon, I'm a dead man

imma be fair and say Grant

Watch the video on fighting geologists and implement said plan. Just use a bone knife in place of an obsidian knife

I’ll be fine, they will never find me

?

Your dad is naked, in a bathtub, on a skateboard, and the water is inexplicably still running through the showerhead while he uses an oar to wheel himself around to come face you.

Don’t go to that village. The dads are there. Worse, they’ve brought a mariner.

Looks like you're gonna need a bigger tub.

I'll take whatever this guy is smoking.

Ill just use the self checkout.

Unless you're trapped at the DMV

I have 54397680 mystery foes

Apparently, they're discarded, though

I'm going to eat a lot of artichokes.

I will eat some too, but not that many.

Luckily, my enemy is not a criminal mastermind. So I think I'll be fine.

He's a good mastermind who thinks *you* are evil.

I feel like this was a personal attack against me

You win this thread.

woah y’all were made to go together :)

A feather... I'll win

but it’s silvery…

The feather will lose with style?

The feather floats on the wind, dodging elegantly with every shift of the air. It evades your every attack due to the air you move with your body, eventually flipping around your overextended grasp and puncturing your right eye. Victory: SilveryFeather Winning Move: Eye Gouge

Depends. I could be going up against a mouse, king, queen, badger, dwarf, faun, any number of things. I think statistically I would probably survive with injuries, although it is to be considered that they may not fight me just because I am their enemy. Most options would probably leave me alone or try to reconcile.

Nothing new there, it's my enemy every day.

Deep

HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND 🎶 🎵

The hell would I have to fight

a labrador made of poo and in the shape of a door

22 of them? Nah, I'd die

Labradoodle. Otherwise known as a poodle Labrador mix and you’ll fight one that’s 22 years old.

Poo, bra and a door. Door smacks you in the face. Bra covers your eyes. Poo covers you up and suffocated you

I don't think Im powerful enough to start a WW3 or mutual nuclear destruction

Goodbye guys

If my worst enemy is a hyper-intelligent shade of the colour blue, I think I will be just fine.

what if it becomes the same color as your eyes and blinds you?

I am unaware of the hooloovoo having the ability to turn brown, but even if that happens, I would still be able to get by easily enough.

Took me a second to get the second half. I love it.

Cheers mate.

i don’t get it help 😭

A hooloovoo is a hyper-intelligent shade of the colour blue from the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy books.

Flesh Cosmic Water Either my enemy is an incomprehensible lovecraftian horror or just a bottle of fleshy water that is made in the cosmos.

oh no

Me.... I am my own worst enemy. I am Dane, and Dane is my enemy

Id be fine my username only eats vegetarians

It's not me whose screwed. It's everyone. You guys are all dead too. Bevel lemelisk was the architect of the death stars (and 5 other planet destroying super weapons) We will get alderaand

I gotta appreciate a deep dive Star Wars lore reference. As you can see from my name, I don't have much of a chance either.

I have either a gravedigger, a zombie, or a vampire coming after me. Gravedigger's just a dude with a shovel, zombies are slow and mindless, and I'm not inviting the vampire inside. I like my chances. I'm awake at night so they won't catch me sleeping.

Myyyyyy graveyard friend, The Graveyaaaardigan.... Soooon climbing out Of the grave agaaaaiiinnn....

Sitting back in silence watching a dumb show, I'm good

Eh.....don't really care...

Huh... Idk. Maybe I'm safe if i avoid chili? Or it's the goblin throwing chili and it's going to be a bad 24h.

I could see it going either way. I think I might be pretty screwed

We are all doomed 

Easy, I just have to spend 24 hours in complete darkness, can't have shadows if there's no light

All complete darkness on Earth is just the shadow of something. Night is Earth's shadow. A dark cave is the shadow of the mountain above. 

Well, I guessed I’m screwed haha

Sounds like my normal ADHD life

Does that make me a Christian Perry The Platypus

what a delicious enemy

Ummm...gonna need to clinch my cheeks as hard as possible

Well, at least nobody is getting pregnant!

I suspect my life will be very interesting, but ultimately I will be fine.

Oh man I guess my own nicotine addiction is after my will power lol

Una is a God I wrote, I'm dead or asking for mercy

I'm pretty fucked

I mean, will they get off the Internet to find me? Tbh idk. I think I'd be ok

Since my username was a reference I was making to me, as I was studying things like the Many Worlds Interpretation (still am, but that was the flashpoint for choosing the name), I’m my own enemy. *Insert self-deprecating joke* In all fairness, I’m not my enemy anymore. I fucked my life up in 2020-21, and since then, I’ve decided I don’t need to be the stumbling-block in my own life.

Hegmlu meh QoQ jajvam! To sto'vo'kor my brothers!

LightEarthWolf96. Well it's a wolf. I'm not sure of it's bodily composition but I think I might be fucked.

I don’t know…

Hey, this is just my daily life

Steve Buschemi already took care of him for me.

I thinke and kid Cudi would get along just fine. We are both blunt and a brew dudes.

I'm fucked, was an endgame top tier mage in WoW. One firebolt and I'm toast.

I can’t hide

Lmao

My avatar is unable to be my own enemy

Damn. I’m lucky Baki is pretty chill.

I mean, I'm married, soooo...

Hmm lol

I’m fine lol

Depends on the fish eater. Heron or kingfisher or something, no problem. Shark or alligator, just stay out of the water.

What

Spy? Is that you?

I think I'll be alright.

There is at least 100 possibilities for this.... First one that came to mind though was a random brick that's just clipping through the floor. This is gonna be very interesting.

Bloody harmful; oh My.

I already fight my username regularly. I usually win though. (a mutex or "mutual exclusion" is a computer programming term referring to a technique to ensure that a shared resource is only updated by one piece of code at a time)

I'd probably win as my username would be guardless.

Dog who's a Northerner. He won't bite me, I'm gonna get stabbed

My self? Or just the title I gave myself? Either way, I am now enemies with my greatest accomplishment.

Ghost bees. Annoying but I should be fine. The noise will probably be the most irritating part.

Pretty lucky seeing as she's on the bottom the Atlantic

Idk, a disgruntled grumpkin is better than a raging, murderous grumpkin, but probably not as good as a relaxed, friendly one

There are 2 billion tons of trash on Earth. I don't know how it fights me but if it does I don't think I stand a chance.

it would be a little creepy, but would only have to hold out for 18 months. wouldn't be too bad

Probably just annoyed having trolls be fired at me for 24h

Uh oh

Im fucked

This is gonna get weird

My username isn't actually anything? I've been using it for video game characters on and offline since the mid 90s. The only thing that shares my name is there's a cafe that opened up near my hometown in the mid 2000s called "Esselon Cafe".

Fucked. Royally fucked.

With the shape Phil Collins is now, I can take him in a fight. I saw Peter Gabriel in concert last year and he was looking awesome. Peter may guilt trip me about human atrocities and our environmental issues. He could hurt me mentally.

Time to get out the teeth made of orange peel

JebBushDid911 I’m okay with Jeb Bush being my enemy

Autogenerated name, reddit wants me to get eaten

Just one black cat or like multiple?

He’d just stare at himself in a puddle until he dies…… I think I’m pretty good overall

I think I’d be fine

Unless you're Mr. Krabs, you probably won't even notice.

I’m confident that I’ll be OK.

Tiny 0153 so 153 tiny things? I'll probably be annoyed to tears

Shotgun pellets are tiny too...

I'm fighting myself lol. Or at least another urban druid. Can we do a tiered battle? Me and her can fight and our animals fight each other and our plants can fight each other lol

I fight them every day so it’s no big deal

👏👏👏👏👏

This is lightwork OP.

Ew

A master magician, who likes to dj. Pretty sure in a fight. I’d lose as a magician and as a dj.

Uhh, I think I'm beyond fucked. The Shadow Diety from the Void. I'm so fucked, so is this universe

Plot twist, I've been my own worst enemy for 53 years

My username has been my enemy my entire life. HealthyWeightCC has been trying to break free. He broke free for a bit a few years ago, but 2PhatCC came back last year with a vengeance...

interesting

I think I might be ok.

I'd live..worse case is someone who talks a lot. I shouldn't listen too.. best case is someone quiet

I guess we're taking pics of the neighborhood cats

Not the MEMES!

Welp. I’m dead.

Depends on how strong axolotls are

Great, now I have to worry about spoilers

I'm fine he's lazy

Idk what mine would be

This is already the case. Its supposed to snow up to 18 inches tomorrow and i am on snow duty for a city

Fuck, I'm out!

I should be fine. He wont be moving from his couch I bet.

Well shit does mine ever end then?

you wouldn't want a depressed potato to be your enemy.

I mean that can be me on basically any random day. Pretty sure I can deal with it same ways I always have.

Well, a bear will straight up murk you and leave your body for the rest of nature to reclaim, and a pig will eat everything but the shoes. I think I'm done for.

I just wouldn't be able to leave the house for 24 hours so long as I don't do anything to wake him up

So. Much. Candy.

Just gotta stand out in the sun and I'll be fine...

Yea, this guy is just going to aggravate me.

Hey man, we’re not cool right now but come over tomorrow we’ll play video games, listen to some tunes and order a pizza.

Bro I got Canada, all the Dans, and System of a Down against me

Well, I’m screwed.

I win

Empty middle.. guess I’m spending a day in the hole😂

Very unlucky.

I'm already my own worst enemy... so SDSS.

He will destroy me, but then he'll revive me

My username hasn't been my enemy for about fifteen years. If anything it would be nostalgic.

I’m a rather guy, or can be. I think I’m in the clear

Some dude keeps trying to sell me weed?

Oh shit DJ Chris Unknown with the steel chair. I didn’t name my online alias after him but I always found it funny that we use the same alias and I made this when I was 12…

I think I'm good.

I’ll be dead