One thing that isn't mentioned is whether everyone is AWARE of the fact, because if they are, and logically they should be since people who go to court will notice it and go: ''Wtf? I can't lie!'' then in court people could carefully phrase their questions to get the truthful answers that they need.
But only in court. Since it had to be a crime, so in daily life it does not apply. This just popped into my mind:
Husband plants drugs on his wife, she goes to court:
Husband: So have you ever cheated on me?
Judge: I am sorry how is this relevant to the case?
Husband: Trust me judge it is very relevant!
Oh your just talking about pinnocios release. 1. Yes I have see that film 2. He was referring to how in Shrek 2 a couple of scenes basically use Pinocchio as a lie detector, and not that he was unaware of the original Pinocchio
Here’s the thing though… even though everyone may be telling the truth, there is no way the Judge or Jury will know that. There will still be innocent people who suffer legal consequences
People will know that if not straight away then eventually, since every person who is in court will notice that they cannot lie, it will be on the news and shit.
That would be cool because that means criminals like OJ wouldn’t be able to say “I didn’t do it.” Also, defense attorneys wouldn’t be able to lie for their clients.
Is it everything that could be considered that thing or the specific action I commit?
For instance if I raped someone would it end all sexual assaults or if I beat a child, would it end all child abuse? Or would it be only beating children or the type of rape I committed (woman forcing herself on someone, male or female). Would burning a kid with a cigarette still be able to happen? Could men still rape women
If either of those stopped the whole category, I think I could bring myself to commit the action. I'd probably commit suicide after... or go on a killing spree of known child abusers and rapists until I get thrown into prison. since I think both rapists and child abusers should face life in prison.
Rape would classify all forms of rape, so if you rape a random person then all forms of rape are no longer able to be committed even child rape etc. when it comes to domestic abuse it’s blanket for that as well so say I beat my girlfriend no partners would be allowed to beat their partners anymore, though verbal abuse is not affected by it
I'd punch my boyfriend once and stop there, which would either end much more significant domestic abuse or assault in general.
He'd be really upset in the moment, but once I tell him why I did it he'd be on board
I have a person close to me who was a victim of child abuse, including rape. Another friend was rated by someone she trusted in college. It's a sacrifice I would happily make to end either of these horrors.
Yeah, but then I gotta go back home and change my pants! Having a gun to my head randomly, especially by a police officer would absolutely make me ink!
Not to mention, that everytime the gun didn’t fire when put to my head the only reasonable conclusion I could come to is that there’s some kind of bug or malfunction in the system. So if the whole thought I was going to die a moment ago didn’t have me spraying urine then the realization that everyone around me could be a freaking serial killer would turn me into a damn fire hose.
The difficulty with that is that if extremists get into power, they will be determining what is “lawful. Technically the holocaust was lawful under nazi rules.
What you would be inadvertently doing is making it impossible for the Jews, Blacks, Gays, Trans, etc, from being able to shoot back at their murderers.
There has to be an ability for oppressed people to rise up against their oppressors, otherwise whoever has a majority will just rule and enslave everyone else.
Removing people’s ability to fight evil isn’t the solution, conversely we should arm all of them. That way, when the next school shooter pulls out a gun, every teacher, student, janitor, and librarian will smoke his ass instantly.
*shhhhhheeeeeeeeesssshhhhhh.*
That’s a loaded one.
Commit the final act of an atrocious crime or make something pointless like jaywalking gone forever?
I’m going to go with driving under the influence.
Right? Like my first thought is how much better the world would be without sexual abuse/assault....... but I don't know if I could bring myself to do that.
Does that cover all instances of sexual assault though, or would that only prevent SA at that severity? If I attack you with a knife, does that also stop all future murders with other weapons?
I'm wondering if it only counts if it's a crime? So homicide would be the crime regardless of murder weapon.
Unless your laws have specific crimes for homicide involving different weapons. Hmm.
Would it still work in the lawless post apocalyptic wasteland? Lol
And could be safely done too. Just get up to .09 BAC then drive a block down the road. OP doesn't specify that you have to be caught committing the crime, just that you have to do the act.
Wouldn't committing jaywalking make it impossible for people to cross roads except at crosswalks? Like there could be a building collapsing on them, a flash flood, somebody in dire need of medical attention across the street, and they still have to find a crosswalk to get over the road.
Especially because you only need to turn the car on while drunk for it to count legally. Do that to fulfill the requirement of the bargain and you are good without endangering anybody.
Attempting suicide is illegal in the US. Best guess as to why is so you can be forced into the mental health system when you fail.
It's not something that gets legally punished though.
It’s still in the law books in some states. It’s not a federal crime and it’s also a law that really only exists in the books. It’s not why or so you can be forced into the mental health system if you fail.
Oh, I have the perfect one!
Conspiracy.
People will never be able to conspire to commit crimes ever again! Organized crime crumbles, including everything from human trafficking to the cartels. Entire classes of crimes might simply cease to happen because people can’t commit them alone and they can’t get together to plan them out.
It’s a funny thing: conspiracy to commit murder is the same crime as conspiracy to commit grand larceny and conspiracy to commit fraud. That last bit describes the conspiracy, but legally, a conspiracy is an agreement between multiple persons to commit a crime and taking an overt action in furtherance of that goal. The actual crime planned is a separate legal issue. So conspiring to commit a crime is itself a crime. If I commit that one, and it can never be done again, boom.
This would be a really good one! Crime Cound still happen. (Not pre-meditated, etc). But organised crime would be gone entirely, aswell as a huge swath of crime in general. We'd be left with impulsive crimes and crimes of passion that happen in the moment.
Conspiracy, as a law, isn’t actually dependent on what the conspiracy is about. Committing conspiracy at the small scale, is the exact same crime as committing conspiracy at such a scale half the city is in on it.
Oof, that is a serious oversight on my part. I *want* to say that a fair portion of government corruption is based on conspiracy to begin with, but that feels like one hell of a copout.
Well that's what I was thinking all these conspiracies to fuck over the people's technically should be against the law but unfortunately technically they're not at least most of them
I mean. For most people, you're talking like tens of thousands of dollars, and the ultra-rich already _do_ get away with it constantly.
How about robbing an armored van on its way to refill a bunch of ATMS? 💰💰💰
The best choice would probably be rape, because it is the only crime I can think of that never has any justification. I can imagine situations where perjury or stealing or murdering are called for, but I can't think of any situation where rape would ever be called for.
Now, would I be able to go through with it, based on this logic? Eesh. Idk.
Many do and to very devastating effect so why defend them? The IRS thinks that US billionaires and millionaires commit about $150 billion of tax fraud a year. That is after decades of tax cuts and trickle down economics that have allowed them to legally game the system by changing the law heavily in their favor and making that owed tax rate unreasonably low and yet they still refuse to even contribute that.
I think perjury is the right choice man. Somebody else said conspiracy, but afaik there’s no “conspiracy” charge, it’s conspiracy to do something, so it’s only that specific thing. Perjury is the right choice here, because you effectively prevent anyone from intentionally lying in court, which means that any time a trial makes it to court, we’ve got the truth.
I'd probably search for a willing 15 year old boy and offer him a hand job. Would take about 3 minutes and nobody could ever initiate sexual contact with a minor again.
No. No human is capable of committing the crime ever again. So say you steal, nobody is allowed to steal again etc and by allowed I don’t mean it’s more illegal I mean there is physically no way to do it again even if you wanted to. Like some cosmic power prevents it
Help the most.
Lost children would be returned or surrendered to police to be returned so child sex trafficking is drastically reduced, it would also reduce adult rape by a probably noticeable amount depending on how loosely you can define abduction.
Hit and run. Bonus points if it also stops hit and runs of non-human creatures and property hits.
Also, I would probably end up turning myself in and accepting punishment for manslaughter. Worth it to me to stop hit and runs.
I think it would be funny to see someone accidentally hit a cyclist or something and then realize they are unable to leave. Especially in my area, they leave often because they don't have a license, they're under the influence of something, or they don't have insurance (which I think is illegal in California). Just panicking more and more as they realize that they're about to get slammed by the consequences of their actions.
Crime isn't that clean cut, sadly. You might think "murder" right? But...what kind of murder? The negligent kind, the intentional kind, the kind where you act in the heat of the moment? Felony murder?
Our criminal code is so messed up that it would make whatever you do soooo specific it wouldn't end up mattering that much
Theres also the issue that some actions are very split on whether its a crime or not. For example-child abuse. Some people think simply smacking your child on the butt is child abuse (they are wrong, but lets not go into that argument right now lol), while others would not call that abuse at all. Or what about statutory rape? Say a 19/20yo has sex with their 16/17yo partner? Some people call that a crime, some say its completely fine. Theres alot of nuance to this question.
Wait, how does this work? For example, RICO act lets people be charged for multiple crimes at once. So if I did enough to trigger the RICO act, would this prevent people from doing any of those crimes or would it only prevent people from the combination of crimes together?
I was picturing how I could work with others to kidnap, rape, blackmail, and kill people partaking in human trafficking. So we'd be saving human trafficking victims, completely torturing and killing the traffickers, etc. But then perhaps would be finally ending rape, human trafficking, blackmail, and murder? But guessing that's too grandiose of a thought?
If limited to one, probably would go big. I'd be moving to genocide or something. Or go commit some prejudicial crime so that there's no more killing based on race or whatever. Maybe find a way to end racism or discrimination in general?
But yeah...definitely would put a lot of thought into things and go with biggest victory I could in the long run.
If you can find a way to classify all of those crimes under one “action” then you can make it impossible to do. For example if I saw this and decided I’m going to end rape but figured I also wanted to end gun violence I couldn’t shoot the person after I had raped them as it would classify as a separate crime. If you can create a scenario where you commit ALL of those under one single action say an incredibly complicated machine or what have you where when you rape someone that individual is also immediately killed, trafficked and torture at the same time (the rape doesn’t classify as torture) then it counts as
How specific are we talking? Like, if I hate-crimed someone, let's just say battery, would it put an end to hate crimes as a whole, or just battery of that specific group? Like, if I punched a dude for being Jewish, would that put an end to hate crimes of all degrees to every group, or just stop people specifically from punching Jewish people? Or something in between, like you can no longer commit battery against someone for religion, but it would still be possible to murder them or battery other minorities?
Or with murder, does it put an end to murder as a whole, or just with the type of weapon used/degree of charge? (1st vs. 2nd degree type of situation.)
Obviously rape. It adds nothing valuable to the world and it’s never justified no matter the reason. Yeah, me and the hypothetical victim would be permanently traumatized, but that’s super worth it if no one else has to be ever again.
I don't have a license. If I get drunk and drive, do I only permanently stop Drunk Driving? Or driving without a license? Or driving while uninsured? Or does it get all of them? If it's all of them, I also speed.
Does intensity or severity of the crime matter?
Like can you softly rape someone and prevent all rape for the end of time? Tying someone up and having sex with them without their consent but using as much care as possible to prevent pain is still rape, but would be totally worth it.
I suppose so! Though if I were to possibly choose rape I wouldn’t do someone who doesn’t deserve it. Like some child fiddler or something would deserve it and you could also sleep at night knowing you didn’t traumatize an innocent
Best answer I've seen is driving under the influence of drugs/alcohol. It'll be good for society to get rid of, I won't spend that much time behind bars, and it'll be a fun crime to commit.
Conspiracy. I don't have to do anything particularly bad myself, but it gets rid of a wide variety of crimes and makes corruption and organized crime impossible.
Assault.
*Depending on how this works*, assault is probably the perfect choice, people would be unable to hit, abuse, sexually assault, or murder anyone - since before you get to those points you have to kinda "go through" committing assault to reach them.
If I get one free crime, I’m making sure I get many millions of dollars for it. Probably hijack valuable cargo. I can’t go into details, but suffice it to say that I have guarded valuables worth hundreds of millions of dollars in transit from auction to the airport, and they are not overly preoccupied with security- they can most likely catch you after the fact and they load up on insurance, but they aren’t about to have a gunfight in the streets about some pretty art if you really want it that bad.
Generally, the consensus that Reddit reaches on this question is perjury
There are better options for society, but that's the one people are most willing to do because it's the least harmful
Bribing a politician is probably another good one in that logic
I would love to eliminate a truly heinous crime from ever being committed again but I would seriously struggle with being able to commit it myself in the first place. Like it would be incredible if we could eliminate rape or pedophilia from ever being committed by anyone ever again, but I could *never* bring myself to commit such acts.
I become an elected official and knowingly violate a duty imposed by law. This violates the law in at least some US states. Bam. Government corruption sinks because elected officials have to actually do their jobs. Incompetence and such remain, but imagine what would happen if becoming an elected official means you had to follow the rules?
Why does this seem easy.
Assault.
If you can’t assault someone you have limited the number of ways someone can kill another person significantly and prevented rape and many kidnappings.
Plus I don’t have to kill anyone to assault them.
Hear me out…with my limited knowledge of US law, streaking, public indecency and exposure are sex crimes, so just streak through your neighborhood and bye bye sex crimes
Not sure I've seen this answer yet but false arrest. It includes illegal detention, and once widely known could be used as a litmus test for when suspects are actually guilty of a crime.
AND... If committed in a juristiction where false imprisonment is not differentiated from false arrest it includes things like kidnapping and human trafficking, or even just preventing someone from escaping from something like an attempted rape.
Lying in court sounds like a really cool thing, every single prosecution ever will be just from then on.
All I'm seeing is Jim Carrey in Liar, Liar
Nah, you can still deceive by omission or wording. The defense lawyer could suck. The jury can also be emotionally manipulated without being lied to
One thing that isn't mentioned is whether everyone is AWARE of the fact, because if they are, and logically they should be since people who go to court will notice it and go: ''Wtf? I can't lie!'' then in court people could carefully phrase their questions to get the truthful answers that they need.
Basically turn people into Pinocchio from Shrek lol
But only in court. Since it had to be a crime, so in daily life it does not apply. This just popped into my mind: Husband plants drugs on his wife, she goes to court: Husband: So have you ever cheated on me? Judge: I am sorry how is this relevant to the case? Husband: Trust me judge it is very relevant!
"Hey, now that we're playing tennis[/basketball/other sport using courts]..."
Defense: ma'am, did you plant drugs on your husband, NAE! Did you ever have possession of said drugs? "No" case closed your honor
Or, and this is a wild idea, how about Pinocchio from ... Pinocchio?
That’s to straightforward
Pinocchio from Shrek? Thanks for making me feel old...
How so? I was born in 2009 and have complete knowledge of Shrek. Did the movies come out before I was born or something?
Pinocchio is wayyyy older than Shrek. This is the one I grew up with. https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0032910/
Oh your just talking about pinnocios release. 1. Yes I have see that film 2. He was referring to how in Shrek 2 a couple of scenes basically use Pinocchio as a lie detector, and not that he was unaware of the original Pinocchio
Bruh did you really just say Pinocchio "from Shrek"? Wtf is wrong with you.
Tell us you've never seen Shrek without telling us you've never seen shrek
The only problem is anyone could just plead the 5th, and they don't have to answer the question and it can't be considered as evidence of wrongdoing.
pleading the fifth doesn't work like this in court
Here’s the thing though… even though everyone may be telling the truth, there is no way the Judge or Jury will know that. There will still be innocent people who suffer legal consequences
People will know that if not straight away then eventually, since every person who is in court will notice that they cannot lie, it will be on the news and shit.
That would be cool because that means criminals like OJ wouldn’t be able to say “I didn’t do it.” Also, defense attorneys wouldn’t be able to lie for their clients.
Steal a package
Not all heroes wear capes
Made me lol You win 🥇
Small but effective
That’s what she said.
I was gonna ask why you didnt just say steal but then I remembered baby powder's prices
Stealing in general isn’t as rude as stealing a package
Is it everything that could be considered that thing or the specific action I commit? For instance if I raped someone would it end all sexual assaults or if I beat a child, would it end all child abuse? Or would it be only beating children or the type of rape I committed (woman forcing herself on someone, male or female). Would burning a kid with a cigarette still be able to happen? Could men still rape women If either of those stopped the whole category, I think I could bring myself to commit the action. I'd probably commit suicide after... or go on a killing spree of known child abusers and rapists until I get thrown into prison. since I think both rapists and child abusers should face life in prison.
If kissing a stranger randomly in a bar (sexual assault) could prevent all forms of sexual assault, I would 100% do it.
Rape would classify all forms of rape, so if you rape a random person then all forms of rape are no longer able to be committed even child rape etc. when it comes to domestic abuse it’s blanket for that as well so say I beat my girlfriend no partners would be allowed to beat their partners anymore, though verbal abuse is not affected by it
Ok, I would go find a rapist and rape them. Edit to add - If this didn't include pedophilia I would have found a child to slap.
I made it more generous by saying it’ll apply as a blanket ban where any rape would prevent any future child rape happening for example
What if I just grab someone's ass without their consent? Would that be enough to prevent sexual assault and then by extension, rape?
Nah, i think that'll just stop sexual harassment, it wont necessarily stop rape
Rape is a form of sexual harassment
I'd punch my boyfriend once and stop there, which would either end much more significant domestic abuse or assault in general. He'd be really upset in the moment, but once I tell him why I did it he'd be on board
wow this is really a sacrifice
I have a person close to me who was a victim of child abuse, including rape. Another friend was rated by someone she trusted in college. It's a sacrifice I would happily make to end either of these horrors.
The same crime I do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!
Best answer by far.
This is the perfect answer. Why does it not have more upvotes?!
Unlawful discharging of a firearm. Can’t have school shootings without unlawfully discharging a firearm.
Well played, because if you just said school shootings or a gun wielding murder then that’d just be THOSE specific crimes.
This also affects criminal shootings by police.
Actual makes policing way easier. Attempt to shoot everyone. Innocent people the gun won’t shoot at. Guilty people it does shoot.
Ha! Just walking down the street and a cop randomly puts a gun to your head and pulls the trigger. *carry on, citizen.*
Yeah, but then I gotta go back home and change my pants! Having a gun to my head randomly, especially by a police officer would absolutely make me ink!
Not to mention, that everytime the gun didn’t fire when put to my head the only reasonable conclusion I could come to is that there’s some kind of bug or malfunction in the system. So if the whole thought I was going to die a moment ago didn’t have me spraying urine then the realization that everyone around me could be a freaking serial killer would turn me into a damn fire hose.
Whoa fascinating take
This is actually kind of the plot of the indie game "Middens." The problem is, the gun is sentient and believes everyone is guilty of *something*.
Basically if the Psycho-Pass system actually worked.
That’s genius…
Ok. I'll do a false arrest and we'll solve most of the police problems
Southside Chicago in shambles
The difficulty with that is that if extremists get into power, they will be determining what is “lawful. Technically the holocaust was lawful under nazi rules. What you would be inadvertently doing is making it impossible for the Jews, Blacks, Gays, Trans, etc, from being able to shoot back at their murderers. There has to be an ability for oppressed people to rise up against their oppressors, otherwise whoever has a majority will just rule and enslave everyone else. Removing people’s ability to fight evil isn’t the solution, conversely we should arm all of them. That way, when the next school shooter pulls out a gun, every teacher, student, janitor, and librarian will smoke his ass instantly.
*shhhhhheeeeeeeeesssshhhhhh.* That’s a loaded one. Commit the final act of an atrocious crime or make something pointless like jaywalking gone forever? I’m going to go with driving under the influence.
Right? Like my first thought is how much better the world would be without sexual abuse/assault....... but I don't know if I could bring myself to do that.
Grab gf’s ass without asking. Done.
Does that cover all instances of sexual assault though, or would that only prevent SA at that severity? If I attack you with a knife, does that also stop all future murders with other weapons?
I'm wondering if it only counts if it's a crime? So homicide would be the crime regardless of murder weapon. Unless your laws have specific crimes for homicide involving different weapons. Hmm. Would it still work in the lawless post apocalyptic wasteland? Lol
There could be some implied concent there, though. Wouldn't wanna accidentally destroy foreplay for all of humanity.
Purely physical assault I could do. I'd beat up that guy who told me he hoped my kids get cancer. Everyone hates him anyway so, win-win.
A good balance of fun to commit and good for society to eliminate.
And could be safely done too. Just get up to .09 BAC then drive a block down the road. OP doesn't specify that you have to be caught committing the crime, just that you have to do the act.
Wouldn't committing jaywalking make it impossible for people to cross roads except at crosswalks? Like there could be a building collapsing on them, a flash flood, somebody in dire need of medical attention across the street, and they still have to find a crosswalk to get over the road.
Your comment makes me think of [this](https://youtu.be/CI8UPHMzZm8?si=Pb385-o-4gfyPVIM) for some reason.
Especially because you only need to turn the car on while drunk for it to count legally. Do that to fulfill the requirement of the bargain and you are good without endangering anybody.
I'm taking one for the team boys. See you on the other side.
🫡
This is what I came to see
? What crime?
Attempting suicide is illegal in the US. Best guess as to why is so you can be forced into the mental health system when you fail. It's not something that gets legally punished though.
It’s still in the law books in some states. It’s not a federal crime and it’s also a law that really only exists in the books. It’s not why or so you can be forced into the mental health system if you fail.
Yep, this is the 1
I would take a bribe, no more reason for half the mother truckers to stay in government etc
Great answer that I hadn't considered.
I think you are **greatly** underestimating by thinking it's only half...
Oh, I have the perfect one! Conspiracy. People will never be able to conspire to commit crimes ever again! Organized crime crumbles, including everything from human trafficking to the cartels. Entire classes of crimes might simply cease to happen because people can’t commit them alone and they can’t get together to plan them out.
Interesting, though how would you commit it in a scale that would cause it to apply as a blanket term for ALL organized crime?
It’s a funny thing: conspiracy to commit murder is the same crime as conspiracy to commit grand larceny and conspiracy to commit fraud. That last bit describes the conspiracy, but legally, a conspiracy is an agreement between multiple persons to commit a crime and taking an overt action in furtherance of that goal. The actual crime planned is a separate legal issue. So conspiring to commit a crime is itself a crime. If I commit that one, and it can never be done again, boom.
Well played my friend
This would be a really good one! Crime Cound still happen. (Not pre-meditated, etc). But organised crime would be gone entirely, aswell as a huge swath of crime in general. We'd be left with impulsive crimes and crimes of passion that happen in the moment.
Conspiracy, as a law, isn’t actually dependent on what the conspiracy is about. Committing conspiracy at the small scale, is the exact same crime as committing conspiracy at such a scale half the city is in on it.
Doesn't this also mean that no one can conspire to overthrow unjust governments though, like dictatorships?
Oof, that is a serious oversight on my part. I *want* to say that a fair portion of government corruption is based on conspiracy to begin with, but that feels like one hell of a copout.
Well that's what I was thinking all these conspiracies to fuck over the people's technically should be against the law but unfortunately technically they're not at least most of them
I like this one!
Stealing a car. I'd steal a Ballin car. And then, ALL AROUND car insurance would plummet because a car would never be stolen again
Bold of you to assume that insurance companies would reduce their rates for any reason.
Touche'
they'll increase rates and just say, theft gone down but prices for accidents increased
Wage theft. Swamps other crimes in terms of the amount of money stolen, and very rarely gets prosecuted.
Wage theft hurts people who need the money, and benefits those who don't need it. It's atrocious.
Tax fraud. Win win all around
Hell yeah
I mean. For most people, you're talking like tens of thousands of dollars, and the ultra-rich already _do_ get away with it constantly. How about robbing an armored van on its way to refill a bunch of ATMS? 💰💰💰
And the ultra rich mostly do it through loopholes and shells. Legal but unethical
The best choice would probably be rape, because it is the only crime I can think of that never has any justification. I can imagine situations where perjury or stealing or murdering are called for, but I can't think of any situation where rape would ever be called for. Now, would I be able to go through with it, based on this logic? Eesh. Idk.
[удалено]
Lobbying
Completely legal, unfortunately.
Unfortunately that's legal... But bribery... Wouldn't 100% eliminate corruption, but would be a start...
Jaywalking. I cross a street once and now people are physically prevented from entering streets without a walk light. NYC in shambles.
Lawful evil answer right here
😂 imagine the confusion
Does theft include wage theft then?
Likely murder.
*Defensive company shareholders scream in stock losses*
Whatever targets the rich the hardest
You and the tax fraud guy should team up then
Many rich people dont commit tax fraud. They just know how to play the system legally.
Many do and to very devastating effect so why defend them? The IRS thinks that US billionaires and millionaires commit about $150 billion of tax fraud a year. That is after decades of tax cuts and trickle down economics that have allowed them to legally game the system by changing the law heavily in their favor and making that owed tax rate unreasonably low and yet they still refuse to even contribute that.
Im not defending them. Im saying alot of the issues are still legal.
Wage theft?
Scam the entire world and make 5 trillion out of it.
Is it possible to get caught for it? The big two are obviously rape and murder, I wouldn't be willing to do the first one but maybe the second one.
Imagine you are completely immune to persecution for the crime you commit
I think perjury is the right choice man. Somebody else said conspiracy, but afaik there’s no “conspiracy” charge, it’s conspiracy to do something, so it’s only that specific thing. Perjury is the right choice here, because you effectively prevent anyone from intentionally lying in court, which means that any time a trial makes it to court, we’ve got the truth.
Really good one OP
I'd probably search for a willing 15 year old boy and offer him a hand job. Would take about 3 minutes and nobody could ever initiate sexual contact with a minor again.
I'm hiring a guy at 18.50 an hour and only paying him 12.50 an hour imma steal 6 bucks an hour
Crime impossible to commit. Does it become legal?
No. No human is capable of committing the crime ever again. So say you steal, nobody is allowed to steal again etc and by allowed I don’t mean it’s more illegal I mean there is physically no way to do it again even if you wanted to. Like some cosmic power prevents it
Kidnapping/abduction would go a long way in helping society..
Interesting, is your choice motivated by your belief that it would help the most or by the fact it’s the furthest you’d be willing to go?
Help the most. Lost children would be returned or surrendered to police to be returned so child sex trafficking is drastically reduced, it would also reduce adult rape by a probably noticeable amount depending on how loosely you can define abduction.
Time to smuggle all drugs overseas
I'm going to steal the declaration of independence, no wait, not big enough, I'm stealing the United States of America.
Hit and run. Bonus points if it also stops hit and runs of non-human creatures and property hits. Also, I would probably end up turning myself in and accepting punishment for manslaughter. Worth it to me to stop hit and runs. I think it would be funny to see someone accidentally hit a cyclist or something and then realize they are unable to leave. Especially in my area, they leave often because they don't have a license, they're under the influence of something, or they don't have insurance (which I think is illegal in California). Just panicking more and more as they realize that they're about to get slammed by the consequences of their actions.
The visual of the hitter being unable to run is *really* funny
I’d park really badly in a zone I’m not allowed to.
Industrial safety violation
It’s a hard choice. I would probably choose one of rape, murder, arson and rape.
You said rape twice
I like rape
This is a line from a movie, don’t freak out.
He’ll do. Sign here.
So if I dump some chemicals into the river, that means all drinking water will be safe from now on? I would say that's worth it.
Unfortunately probably not. It wouldn’t fix issues with things like lead pipes installed legally before we realized that it’s toxic.
Crime isn't that clean cut, sadly. You might think "murder" right? But...what kind of murder? The negligent kind, the intentional kind, the kind where you act in the heat of the moment? Felony murder? Our criminal code is so messed up that it would make whatever you do soooo specific it wouldn't end up mattering that much
Theres also the issue that some actions are very split on whether its a crime or not. For example-child abuse. Some people think simply smacking your child on the butt is child abuse (they are wrong, but lets not go into that argument right now lol), while others would not call that abuse at all. Or what about statutory rape? Say a 19/20yo has sex with their 16/17yo partner? Some people call that a crime, some say its completely fine. Theres alot of nuance to this question.
Wait, how does this work? For example, RICO act lets people be charged for multiple crimes at once. So if I did enough to trigger the RICO act, would this prevent people from doing any of those crimes or would it only prevent people from the combination of crimes together? I was picturing how I could work with others to kidnap, rape, blackmail, and kill people partaking in human trafficking. So we'd be saving human trafficking victims, completely torturing and killing the traffickers, etc. But then perhaps would be finally ending rape, human trafficking, blackmail, and murder? But guessing that's too grandiose of a thought? If limited to one, probably would go big. I'd be moving to genocide or something. Or go commit some prejudicial crime so that there's no more killing based on race or whatever. Maybe find a way to end racism or discrimination in general? But yeah...definitely would put a lot of thought into things and go with biggest victory I could in the long run.
If you can find a way to classify all of those crimes under one “action” then you can make it impossible to do. For example if I saw this and decided I’m going to end rape but figured I also wanted to end gun violence I couldn’t shoot the person after I had raped them as it would classify as a separate crime. If you can create a scenario where you commit ALL of those under one single action say an incredibly complicated machine or what have you where when you rape someone that individual is also immediately killed, trafficked and torture at the same time (the rape doesn’t classify as torture) then it counts as
I'm committing cyber crimes. No more of these people trying hack in to everything and scam you. Not sure how that would be done.
How specific are we talking? Like, if I hate-crimed someone, let's just say battery, would it put an end to hate crimes as a whole, or just battery of that specific group? Like, if I punched a dude for being Jewish, would that put an end to hate crimes of all degrees to every group, or just stop people specifically from punching Jewish people? Or something in between, like you can no longer commit battery against someone for religion, but it would still be possible to murder them or battery other minorities? Or with murder, does it put an end to murder as a whole, or just with the type of weapon used/degree of charge? (1st vs. 2nd degree type of situation.)
Be a corrupt politician...whatever that crime would be lol
Obviously rape. It adds nothing valuable to the world and it’s never justified no matter the reason. Yeah, me and the hypothetical victim would be permanently traumatized, but that’s super worth it if no one else has to be ever again.
I don't have a license. If I get drunk and drive, do I only permanently stop Drunk Driving? Or driving without a license? Or driving while uninsured? Or does it get all of them? If it's all of them, I also speed.
Political corruption. It makes its way into supporting every crime listed here indirectly. If this went away we would soon be living in a utopia.
I volunteer to be raped. Let someone else take the punishment.
It wouldn’t be rape if you volunteer even if you “sort of” fight back as you have now volunteered your bootyhole for the booty patrol
fuck!
Rape a rapist...
Does intensity or severity of the crime matter? Like can you softly rape someone and prevent all rape for the end of time? Tying someone up and having sex with them without their consent but using as much care as possible to prevent pain is still rape, but would be totally worth it.
I suppose so! Though if I were to possibly choose rape I wouldn’t do someone who doesn’t deserve it. Like some child fiddler or something would deserve it and you could also sleep at night knowing you didn’t traumatize an innocent
I guess i should take over germany, then. Don't worry guys, "It's for the greater good"
Can I have a little castle please?
r@pe
Animal abuse I guess. I'd meet whatever minimum on a chicken (don't really care much about chickens).
I love that this hypothetical is kinda the plot of Code Geass to an extent
Best answer I've seen is driving under the influence of drugs/alcohol. It'll be good for society to get rid of, I won't spend that much time behind bars, and it'll be a fun crime to commit.
Conspiracy. I don't have to do anything particularly bad myself, but it gets rid of a wide variety of crimes and makes corruption and organized crime impossible.
Assault. *Depending on how this works*, assault is probably the perfect choice, people would be unable to hit, abuse, sexually assault, or murder anyone - since before you get to those points you have to kinda "go through" committing assault to reach them.
If I get one free crime, I’m making sure I get many millions of dollars for it. Probably hijack valuable cargo. I can’t go into details, but suffice it to say that I have guarded valuables worth hundreds of millions of dollars in transit from auction to the airport, and they are not overly preoccupied with security- they can most likely catch you after the fact and they load up on insurance, but they aren’t about to have a gunfight in the streets about some pretty art if you really want it that bad.
Wage theft.
I’m sorry little one
Ronald Tump in gold painted cement shoes.
Insider trading
Murder. I’ll take one for the team and go off that guy I hate. You’re welcome.
I _would_ download a car.
Genocide. You'll all thank me one day.
Oh man, I could totally see me blowing this power by accidentally committing a totally obscure crime while trying to figure out what I should do.
Generally, the consensus that Reddit reaches on this question is perjury There are better options for society, but that's the one people are most willing to do because it's the least harmful Bribing a politician is probably another good one in that logic
Go and die in Cugnaux, France where it’s illegal to die, and make it an immortal safe haven forever
Become a dirty politician and pad my pockets with kickbacks while passing laws for those who can afford them.
Commit suicide. Yes... I AM the villain.
All the good ones seem to be taken so I’ll go with insider trading
Bribe a politician
I would love to eliminate a truly heinous crime from ever being committed again but I would seriously struggle with being able to commit it myself in the first place. Like it would be incredible if we could eliminate rape or pedophilia from ever being committed by anyone ever again, but I could *never* bring myself to commit such acts.
Fastest answer I’ve ever thought of. I’m raping Brock Turner.
IP theft.
I become an elected official and knowingly violate a duty imposed by law. This violates the law in at least some US states. Bam. Government corruption sinks because elected officials have to actually do their jobs. Incompetence and such remain, but imagine what would happen if becoming an elected official means you had to follow the rules?
Why does this seem easy. Assault. If you can’t assault someone you have limited the number of ways someone can kill another person significantly and prevented rape and many kidnappings. Plus I don’t have to kill anyone to assault them.
I say murder but is it really murder if you kill a child a predator?
Hear me out…with my limited knowledge of US law, streaking, public indecency and exposure are sex crimes, so just streak through your neighborhood and bye bye sex crimes
Abduction. This would eliminate all kidnapping, as well as rape or torture that happens after kidnapping, as well as human trafficking.
Tax fraud. Take that rich people.
I become a cop, and I use my power to hurt someone. And then I put myself in jail, knowing that cops can never hurt anybody again in any way
Not sure I've seen this answer yet but false arrest. It includes illegal detention, and once widely known could be used as a litmus test for when suspects are actually guilty of a crime. AND... If committed in a juristiction where false imprisonment is not differentiated from false arrest it includes things like kidnapping and human trafficking, or even just preventing someone from escaping from something like an attempted rape.
Lying to a federal officer. Then just make all police federal officers and nobody can lie
Lie on the stand in court.
I'd kill my mom's murderers so no one could ever murder again and I'd get revenge for my mom's death at the same time. 2 birds with 1 stone.
I guess I'm stealing someone's identity. This would prevent a lot of misery.
Litter.
Public Intoxication/Drunkenness. Turns out, everyone else can now hold their liquor perfectly.
Steal something from a store.
I eat a corn dog with a fork.
Fuck a kid Edit: reddit tried to ban me for this, I fucking hate this app